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26
26
Review of Sugar Time  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Shamrock*Hiya J.L. O'Dell! Here is another review from your winning package in the Mad Hatter Tea Party! *Delight*

*Tree* I love maple syrup and have family who used to make syrup. My dad used to do pull toffee on the snow so your appealing poem brought back good memories. Yesterday I visited a friend who was boiling sap from her trees. They do it the natural way, outside, over a fire for 12 hours. Tastes delicious. It was so appealing to find this title! *Delight*

*Tree*The free style flow suits the theme and your reflective tone. I could imagine the scene and the anticipation for the sugar candy at the end. The title was appropriate for the poem. *Smile*

I noticed a few punctuation glitches: I don't think you need a comma after "branches" or "trees" as the next line flow naturally from those words. Also, you do not need a period after "sap" and the line is not complete unless your drop the "As" at the beginning of verse 2. *Wink*

I did not understand the "high in a dish" and "same snow". I really was into the story up to the last stanza and think it could be more direct rather than use two gerunds. It feels different in style. *Smile* The first gerund works, maybe the third line could be clearer as in "we poured on the syrup". Make it pop as the highlight of the experience...especially from a kid's perspective.*Smile*

*Star*This was a wonderful image of your memory well worth a few tweaks to tighten it up. Thanks for sharing your heartfelt vision. Now I think I will go and have some maple syrup! *Wink*

eyestar
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27
27
Review of Baked Pies  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight**Shamrock* Hi J. L. O'Dell. Yay! Your ticket in the Mad Hatter Raffle won my package which includes some reviews! So here I am! Thanks for your generous support.

I enjoy limericks and was drawn to your yummy title! I liked the originality of the theme and it is funny to imagine. Your rhyme works well and it was fun to ponder. I like the smell of homemade pies and the leaving them in the window makes me think of an older time. Funny too that you use Winter in the town name as it is a contrast to the ants of summer.

I notice that the syllable counts are not all in the pattern of 9-9-5-5-9 as is the format. If you add "and" to the forth line and shortened the last line, it would flow better. The last line really through off the rhythm and you use the present tense there as well. Maybe: "As the ants ate her pies, she felt ill!" It fits the 9 count. Also I think we know that pies ar baked so dropping that word would fix the second line as far as syllable pattern goes.*Wink* The title shows us that they are baked as well.

I find limericks challenging to do especially the humour part! And you have that! *Laugh* Well worth a tweak of the form. Good luck in the contest.

Thanks for sharing your vision. *Star*

eyestar
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28
28
for entry "Haiku 4 the Hunt
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
*Treepine*Greetings! Thank you so much for entering the "Haiku Hunt Contest! *Delight* Here I am with my brief comments on your shining entry.

*Flowerr*I like the focus on the bird from the prompt and the idea of a banquet from his view. The connection of "banquet" to "lavish bounty" is clear.

*Quill* The haiku form uses the older 5-7-5 syllable count and phrases with a kigo seasonal indicator. The simple adjective makes the picture of the bird clear and specific. It feels like you are giving the reader an interpretation of how the bird is thinking of the bounty.

Little glitches for me:

I have been learning that haiku uses more specific observations rather than concept words. I think the second line and the last line seem to say a similar idea without giving the reader more specific image to see. Without the picture, we won't know if you see flowers or seeds or...*Wink*

I am finding if I am not confined by the strict syllables, it is a bit easier to be clear. A lovely interpretation and I would like to have had more space for me to enter in and choose for myself if something was delicious or lavish. *Smile*

*Flowerr*I like the personification of the bird and reading the poem aloud with its appealing sound scape from word choices. *Thumbsup*


Good luck in the contest! *Shamrock*

eyestar

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#1300305 by Maryann
29
29
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Treepine*Greetings! Thank you so much for entering the "Haiku Hunt Contest! *Delight* Here I am with my brief comments on your shining entry.

*Flowery* I love the image of the cascade of yellow and the description of the fence in the prompt picture. So clear for me to visualize even if I did not see the picture. *Thumbsup*

*Quill* The haiku is well composed with two contrasting images and a turning point where I am directed from the flower scene to a bird. The minimal descriptors gives the bird its specifics.

Little glitches for me:
I wonder if you need the " gives nod" in the last line as you already have a verb in line two and I took it to mean the bird was giving approval, though it could be it was nodding. Just having the phrase about the bird would be enough to have us ponder about it's activity. I see you were using the 5-7-5 so had to make it work. I take it the word spring is a seasonal word and fit with the syllables as well.

*Flowerr* Overall, a fine haiku for the prompt picture. I could imagine it.

Good luck in the contest! *Shamrock*

eyestar

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#1300305 by Maryann
30
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for entry "A Frenetic Life
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Owl4* Happy Spring Carly! I am happy to review your entry in "I Write 2019" in spite of the frenetic pace of life at the moment! *Laugh*

*Owl3* Your poem really gave the feeling of heaviness as the poet struggles to handle everything that comes up. Words like "try", "wearing" and the image of the battle vividly portray this notion.

*Owl* The key word "frenetic" describes life's pace in contrast with the slowness the poet feels she moves at! Nice comparison! *Thumbsup* It also is clear that the poet is predicting the future In the present moment in the last line..already lost. Whew! It adds to the weighted vibe as well. It is interesting that the poem pace is slow. *Wink*

*Owl*Thanks for sharing your vision and craft!

eyestar
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Review of The Fairy's Hovel  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Shamrock* Happy St. Patrick's Day WD Wilcox! *Delight*


*Fairy* I like fairies so I could not resist your interesting title. I never thought of a fairy living in a hovel!

*Fairy2*The setting is vividly detailed and the situation that unfolds is unique. I can imagine it like an interview and your dialogue is well done. The twist at the end made me laugh! OMG. What a crazy thought? Now I see why you used so many z's and the multifaceted eyes. *Think* Good clue that I was curious about. LOL The title makes sense too. *Thumbsup* I don't see where she actually made the reporter small though or when.

*Fairy3* This was fun bit of fairy flash! *Star*
eyestar
Magic signature for POWER!
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Review of Sons of Erin  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Gold*Top o' the Morning, Ken! I could not resist checking our your limericks today! *Fairy* I was seeking items for our Power raid and found this limerick. It made me laugh out loud.

*Fairy2*Wow! Impressive limerick and your last line was brilliant! *Salute**Laugh*, great play on words! The reference to so many Irish having to leave their land and appear in many places now is so clear. The celebratory vibe is lively and makes the last line more fun than sad. *Smile*

*Fairyr* The form is fairly well composed keeping in mind the comic element and the Irish theme suitable to this time of year and the form itself. I did notice that the line one and line 5 are 10 syllables instead of 8 like line 2. Usual formats keep lines 1,2, 5 equal counts. Adding a word to line 2 would keep the consistently.*Wink* "seems" is a rather indirect word.

In spite of that glitch, the limerick successfully fulfills its function, to make us laugh.
I was not thrown out of the piece that flowed well and was entertaining.*Smile* The twist was perfect and drew my admiration! *Salute*

*Shamrock*Thanks for sharing your fine crafting and vision. Good luck in the contest.

eyestar
Power signature for March raid
33
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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star*Hi Teargen! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Delight*

I loved the theme and title of this poem and you did a great job of convincing the reader how true it is. I enjoyed reading it aloud and each new idea was a surprise. Very uniquely written too.

I appreciated the format with its inner and end rhymes that carry through in each verse. All the words that rhyme with universe are well chosen and woven in a coherent way.*Thumbsup* I imagine it took a lot of effort and planning to create this bit of magic. The images were vivid and I like how you use contrast of ideas. The enjambent of the first line was effective too and I smiled at the first two lines of verse two. Awesome! The idea of the curse was interesting too... a perfect contrast to the idea that all is beauty.

I had fun with this. Kudos on your craft and vision! Thanks for sharing such inspiring poetry. *Starstruck*

eyestar
new signature for WDC Superpower Reviewers
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Review of Silly  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Sraosha! Thanks for sharing your fine writing with us. *Delight*


*Fairy* The title caught my attention as it was evocative of fun and made me curious to know what is silly. Indeed the poem has a kind of sing song flow and it is cool that the poet sees the silliness in a misplaced trust, not being hard on self though the mind beasts of judgement are trying to have sway. *Thumbsup*

*Fairy2* The images are vivid. The poem appears to be a free flow without a set stanza line count and yet it has a lovely rhyme that assists the flow. I noticed also good use of consonance, repeated letters that creates a nice soundscape effect too. *Smile* "yells" and "bellows" is a nice link too.

*Fairy3* I have not seen the word "circumstance" used too often as a singular form except in a line like "he was a victim of circumstance". *Wink* Yet I can see the rhyme works.
Interesting that you have a ghost and beast and I take it they are different points of view.

*Star*I enjoyed entering into your vision and pondering. Thanks for sharing. Write on and have fun at WDC.

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Review of Nightclub  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Balloonb* Welcome AJW to WDC! Thanks for sharing your writing with us. *Delight*

I enjoyed reading your short story and liked how the officer is determined to find what he is looking for and is confounded. I smiled when he found the closet! *Smile*

You began with a good hook of a policeman arriving, making me curious as to why. You lead us on an investigation that is coherent and orderly. I wondered about the ending..I assume there are not drinks unless something was hidden. Nice to leave us pondering. *Smile*

*Smile*You did a really good job of telling the tale in the present tense. It is hard to do. You might have to tweak where you use words like "replied", "said" as those are past tense words. Also the word "opened" needs to be "opens". *Wink* Otherwise the action is in the present. *Thumbsup* I think you need to add the word "are" before "sitting and dancing."

Dialogue and punctuation was well done and easy to follow who was speaking as the tale unfolded. You created a complete episode in a short time with good details.

*Star*Thanks for sharing you vision and craft.

eyestar
noticing newbies committee sig
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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Delight**Shamrock*Happy March Gabriella! I hope your writing is going well! I just found another of your fabulous contributions to WDC!


*Shamrock*Yet again you share a delightful selection of references and information on where to submit our works. I see the date is 2016 and yet the written material in the piece is still relevant reading.

*Gold*I like how the page is organized with subtitles with valueable insights into Cover letters, how to submit and about simultaneous submissions etc. I did not know much about this and it makes sense to find out the rules for each publication before entering the same piece to multiple places. *Cool* I also see your wise advice to read to find out if our work would fit with certain publications. There are lots of goodies woven through this well written document and I get your intent to assist authors and save them time. Reading this can give a good account of what to do. *Salute*

*Shamrock* Listing the possible publications on the page first is effective especially if readers are already aware of the information you share later. And it was helpful to mention that half way down the page there is this vital information, as there would be some who are looking more for HOW to than the publications themselves at first. Good thinking. *Idea*

*Star*Thanks for sharing your extensive knowledge and encouragement with our community. You are a star!

eyestar
A  birthday gift
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Review of Angelo  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Delight*Hi Dark Huntress! I am here with a review as your item popped up on the Read and Review page!


*Smile* It appears to be an older work but just as relevant today as it introduces a member of WDC. It was interesting to read about him as I recognize his name and have read some of his work. I do not know much about him so this is so cool!*Cool*

*Salute* Your brief speech is well written and is easy to follow its effective flow and heartfelt tone. You touch on the highlights of his life in a conscise way with relevant details. Your language is well chosen and elegant with phrases like "garnered" and "compelling artistry" and the "scribbling proof" is delightful.

*Giftv* It reads like an inspiring tribute highlighting the accomplishments and talents of the person as well as how his life influenced yours. It is a glowing report! *Starstruck* He sounds like an awesome person to know. I enjoyed your style!

Thanks for sharing this vision of Bikerider so eloquently. *Starstruck*

eyestar
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38
38
Review of In Over My Head  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Delight* Hi Ken! What an interesting and entertaining flash fiction! I don't think I would like the idea as my mind is already a control freak! *Laugh*

*Computer*Your first line hooked me in as with the character we do not know where we are or what is happening. You portray his confusion and later his tension clearly as he realizes the full extent of the chip's power. Scarey.

*Calc* I enjoyed the humour in the name and at the end as he finds a cool positive possibility that could counter his loss of control.*Cool* Having the "smile" image show up again is effective. Nicely planned out.

*Calculator* The story flows well and the dialogue serves the story. I can almost make out chip's personality and you show that he is quick to pick up signals from man and net! It was useful to put the words in italics and all of the conversation would be going on in his head.

I had fun reading this bit of entertainment with its evocative title. *Laugh* Thanks for sharing your genius.

eyestar
A  birthday gift
39
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Review of Sister Earth  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Delight*Welcome to WDC ValeriaBlue! Thanks for sharing your craft with us. *Smile*


Wow! This sad story is brilliant in its metaphor and flow. I like how you used the natural world as witness and comforter to this victimized girl. So original and well conceived! *Salute*

*Delight*I was drawn into the tale right from the start and felt for the main character as she saw herself and as she fled. Your details in describing her and the surroundings are vivid and bring the whole episode to life. It is potent in its emotional vibration. *Thumbsup*

*Starstruck*Your personification of the wind, rain, sky and water and earth is excellent. I loved it.

*Quill* I noticed one typo, "Than" should be "Then" in "Then he left her."
And "winds efforts" should be "wind's" to show possession.
The only place that glitched for me is that I was not sure what you meant by "her heart wanted him to be real".
He was really following. Did you mean "a real love or kind or..."*Confused*

Whew! I thought this was a well conceived and potent story that kept me engaged and feeling for the character. So sad!
*Star*Thanks for sharing your gift and vision. Write on!

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Review of The Hourglass  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Delight*Hi Ken! Here I am with a little review to celebrate you!


*Heart*Wow! I loved this tribute with its philosphic aura and heartfelt tone. The Villanelle form is perfect for the theme and the imagery and message is profound.

*Sun*Your poem is a model villanelle with its elements intact. Your rhymes are well chosen and give the sense of light and dark as you describe the journey of one place to another, life and death. The sand image is unique and so apt as a metaphor. *Thumbsup*

*Star*It was delicious to read aloud as the soundscape of alliteration, assonance and consonance is effective. (s, f, t all soft sounds along with a few g's.) Adding the importance of words and writing as a comfort and gift is also a fitting image to use for an author tribute. He was amazing. *Heart*

*Key*The key lines tell a lovely story on their own and sum up the journey in a stellar way. I enjoyed reading it several times and entering into the vision. Peace and acceptance resonates with the wisdom of living well with trust in the journey. *Angel*

*Hotair4* Thanks for sharing your vision and well conceived craft. I am sure Sticktalker smiles from afar. *Star*

eyestar
A  birthday gift
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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi J. Robert Kane!


*Star*Wow! This is a wonderful space war story! I like how it begins in the present, the aftermath of some event and the conflict among the three men in the pod. Good hook especially with a potential murder. *Thumbsup*

The setting was realistic and the vocabulary thematic to the science and tech of the piece set in the future. I think you did a great job in weaving info about the characters and events as the story moved along so it did not feel like a list of facts or narrative.

The voice of the narrator is consistent and I think the use of tenses made sense. I wondered about putting italics around bits when he is thinking within his mind in the story, apart from his narrative to us. I recall a couple of spots where that might work. I am not a pro though... still learning about voice. *Wink*
The lines "Had the Meridian been boarded? That didn’t make sense, though. Why nuke a warship and then board her? " felt more like what he thought in his head at the time rather than telling us what he thought. To continue as a narrative: "I wondered if the Meridian had been ... though it did not make sense. Why..."

I liked the lieutenant's considerations about not killing, for his own sake and the idea of karma-credit. Really shows his wisdom and restraint as a leader. His honesty is apparent and I like the line that precedes the jump off to the past. It made me curious enough to read on. He did seem like a "better man". LOL Though he did make a comment earlier about his fear that he could have killed.

Your descriptions of action and ships as well as the characters are vivid and I could easily follow the story. I like how you keep Hallock silent thorugh out and yet have him show remorse. It is like he is the weak link in the chain. Can't wait to hear his story.
I loved images like "wafer-thin chance".

I did like the swtiching from present to past to present, though I had to double check in the second change even though the little stars were there as notification. *Facepalm* It keeps me waiting to see what will happen to the three men, with whom I am now interested in. *Thumbsup*

*Thumbsup*The abrupt line that it fired on them was a good one..took reader by surprise as much as the men. Setting it by itself was effective too.

The emotional scene when the pod was hit was dramatic and realistic, adding another dimension to the characters. I like how you left us hanging about Hallock's reason for eating the chocolate.
That first line was a good hook. I like chocolate too. *Laugh*

*Quill*A few glitches occurred to me, but keep it mind these are my own views and I am not a story writer.

* Where you have Reynolds not happy about Hallock you say "all over his person"---"all over him" would sound more normal.

--"In Reynolds watched me" maybe "so did Hallock" instead of "both men did" and the word "seemed" is not effective. He did or didn't and what would show that he did agree? eg. nodded . I get the idea that he is not happy about it.

--Drop 'seemed" in "as I seemed to recall" as he either did or he did not recall. Direct is a better way to go here. para. 19
Also in the line: "I wondered, as I seemed to recall that the nearest life-pods were located on the starboard side of the ship, what..."
I feel it would be clearer to read if you began with "As I recalled...I wondered what the impact..." It would be more potent.

--I don't think you need "on us" in "its toll on us." if you need to tighten up the work. We already know that it would be affecting them.

*Wink*You like the word "seemed". *Laugh* Again, "seemed out of place there.: where you speak of the look of fear not being natural,it is more direct to say "was out of place" and it really was. You explain why later in the paragraph so it makes sense to make it so! *Smile*

--In the line "announcements that screamed blared," you need a comma between the verbs or take one of them out. *Wink*

--In " had panicked, apparently" is the narrator assuming they panicked? A more direct clean line, might be "soldiers obviously failed"... as he noticed the remains. It might tighten up the work and lose another less vivid adverb. *Think* The same might apply with the word "likely catastrophic". It would appear that it was disasterous. *Sad*

*Star*The last line rocked as it revealed again the character. *Thumbsup* Great way to end a chapter as we are in the middle of the crisis and are curious as to what happened next.

*Rocket* I enjoyed reading this chapter which flowed in a coherent way, kept my interest and made me like the characters. The differences between them are clear and make for possible conflict to though they work together. I want to know more about the third character and it was wise to leave it for another chapter. *Smile*

I did enjoy the quotes you added at the start. They both resonate with the story. Hamlet's not good or bad... made me think of your main character and really is a bit of wisdom. *Heart*

*Starstruck*Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. Keep on writing to space and beyond!

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight*HI BK! I could not resist this title where the underdog triumphs! You sort of give away the ending in the title but hey, it got me in here. *Laugh*

*Laugh* I really enjoyed entering into your story with these well known characters. You really captured the nature of Wile E. through his action, thoughts and words! Lovely dialogues move the piece along well too. I ahd to keep reading to see what Wile E would do next and l liked how in the end he won!

I had to laugh at the coyote's reaction when he realized the loss when he caught the bird. *Laugh* His next plan is well plotted.

*Salute*Brilliant conception in bringing all the characters together. I could identify all of them by their speech and action! The story was coherent and well thought out. This was fun and in the reflection of those cartoons! *Starstruck*



I noticed quite a few little typos like missing letters and some misspelled words. Maybe run it through the spell check to catch others. You are also missing periods especially in the last half of the story. Meantime I have noted a few here:

glitches

Also, I would look for places where you can tighten up phrasing with less repetitions.

*Star*Thanks for sharing your fabulous and fun entertainment based on these beloved characters. Highly creative and unique work that is worth tweaking in a edit! *Thumbsup*

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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp*Welcome to WDC Njoki kamau! *Delight* It is wonderful that you share your gift here!


*Heart*Wow! I felt the shock and sadness as the poet discovers the truth about her loved one. You really capture her dream thoughts and idealism of this love and how the dream was dashed. The line "then I met her" was a potent turning point in the poem. *Thumbsup* I also like when you say she is lovely. It told me that the poet does not blame the other girl.

*Smile* The free verse structure suits the emotional content. The imagery of fire is a good one. Punctuation served the read and I notice you need a period after "fire" and "smile" and "out". *Wink* The questions in the middle verse really added to the drama and I could imagine the reaction! *Thumbsup*

*Star*Thanks for sharing this heart felt expression. Have fun and write on at WDC!

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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Delight*Hi Jim. Just hopping in with a review to celebrate you! I found this title that appealed to me as deserted places can inspire interesting stories! *Smile*


*House*Wow! I so enjoyed reading this amazing and well crafted story poem. The structure with its quatrains and consistent rhyme flowed quite well and has lots of detail. It was so cool when the Ghost lab folks come and solve the puzzle in a surprising way. Very creative and original expression! *Laugh*

*House*I like how you describe the various owner's experiences and set up the mystery of the voice. The whispers like "meet your creator" are brilliant and keep us from knowing the voice's truer message. That folks just freak out and leave without trying to communicate is reality.

*House* I noticed a few missing commas so you might want to look at tweaking the punctuation Rhythmically all the stanzas are not even but that did not take me out of the story, which kept me engaged until the end. I had to smile at the end as the ghost's voice showed her emotions about Rick!
Talk about revenge. How inventive. *Thumbsup*

Two lines that kinda stuck out were in verse 7: the first and especially the last one was awkward in flow.*Wink* It was a good read with some lovely alliterative and repeated sounds that added to the soundscape and flow as I read aloud.

*Starstruck*This is impressive piece of writing and I can imagine the effort it took to get it into a rhyming form and still get all the details you need. I had fun!

Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. I am so glad I found it.

eyestar
new signature for WDC Superpower Reviewers
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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Issachar Bacang! *Delight* Thank you for sharing your poem that popped up on the Read and Review Page.

*Angel* Your title reveals the main theme and the tag line clarifies it well. The genres you chose are appropriate for the piece as is the rating. *Smile*

*Angel*The poem has a potent prayerful tone that reveals the faith of the poet. Your first line has a vivid image to draw attention and is followed by a meaningful comparison. Your imagery and language is true to the theme as you reverently pray for yourself and also others who may not have the knowledge and faith you do. It ends in a tribute and positive inspiration for all.

*Angel* The free style of poetry is a good choice for the emotional content and message. I notice you have nice consistent rhyme scheme too. The first verse though has two longer lines that make it 6 lines long, compared to the 4 lines of the others. It breaks the four line pattern. But the image is essential and vivid. *Thumbsup*
You do use some punctuation yet I think if if you use it, it should be consistent. eg. Like using periods etc. It can give pause for reflection in the flow. *Wink* I was only a bit confused by the 4th line: "I pray that this tonight". Did you mean "I pray that this night"?*Confused*

*Angel*Lovely sentiments and inspiration! Thanks for sharing your faith and vision. Keep on writing.

eyestar
A  birthday gift
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Four time Quill winner!
#1300305 by Maryann


46
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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Smile* Hiya Megan Rose! Guess who popped up as I passed in the Read and Review page? *Delight* I don't think I ever saw this one. *Think*

*Tiara* I like the title and idea of discovering who you are, whether your own discovery or me finding out more about you! *Heart* I love the pictures you always have on your pieces.

*Tiara* This is a very detailed self portait and I really like how you can choose specifics when it comes to favourite things and wow to your collections. I would love to be in that room with it all! *Smile* I also like Jane Austen and Nora Roberts and I could not narrow down who my fav actors are but can certainly agree with your Yummy choices! *Heart* It is awesome that you updated this as well as getting a Quill is a great compliment to add.

*Tiara*Beginning with where you live and your family is perfect. I grew up in the country setting where there were corn fields and cows. Now I live in the country with bush, swamp, deer and mosquitos! LOL Sounds lovely. I like how you give a synopsis of your published books. They sound interesting.

I only noticed one little glitch: "especially" needs a second l. and the link for sunnystarr seems not to work. *Wink*

*Tiara* The page has a unique and comfortable organization and I feel like I am sitting there as you tell me all about yourself in an organic manner, as if you are conversing. Your lists of favourites and activities you are involved in reveal your passion and talent for many things including leadership! So cool!

*Tiara**Star*Thanks for sharing this little view into your magics! *Wand* Keep on shining liek the star you are! *Starstruck*

eyestar
A  birthday gift
47
47
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Welcome An Attempt to WDC! *Delight* Thanks for jumping in and sharing your gifts!

Wow! This is a potent expression with a strong point of view. The theme is relevant and your passion for making a tribute to the strength of women rocks! *Thumbsup* I loved the last line as the old idea of "weak" falls away. The image of the fire is brilliant.

I know you likely use all caps to make an emphatic statement *Smile* yet it is harder to read . Usually in writing here we use caps naturally or in key words or phrases as opposed to all hard caps. Some say it even feels like yelling. *Laugh* I think your commentary and description are vital enough to be powerful without all the caps. *Wink* Just a tip to remember in your next work, if it makes sense to you.

I enjoyed reading the dramatic piece aloud as you have a lovely rhyme and flow, though the rhythm is free style. I was not thrown out by any major glitch. It rather feels like a song of some kind. *Smile* I am not sure of all the .... *Think* I like the questions weaved into the piece as it makes one ponder. I notice you do not a question mark on one of them.

I notice you need to put apostrophes when you use "it's" in "ITS SHE." and "ITS TOUGH". *Wink*

*Salute*It is such a wonderful tribute to us all as women. Thank you for sharing your brilliant and original voice. It is good to be reminded of all of our facets! *Starstruck*

*Star*Keep on writing from your heart! *Heart* Have fun at WDC.

48
48
Review of Bonded  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Katdembickjy! *Delight* Thanks for sharing your poem with us. Hope you will get a little bio block in your port so we can get to know you! *Star*

*Moon*I was drawn to the title as it made me curious and it fits well with the concept of an unbroken love connection in your romantic expression. *Thumbsup* Your use of the natural symbols of stars, universe and moon is effective as you raise love to an ideal height. The feeling of hope that the love will last is potent.

*Heart*The idea of seeing self in the other is relevant and shows how the bond can feel.

*Sun*The free style verse fits the content and I see you ended with a period. The use of regular puncutation in the other lines would be consistent. I know poetry can be without punctuation. *Wink* I wanted to have a period in lines 1, 3 and 5 as they are natural breaks. On the other hand keeping it without ending reflects the idea of no separation. MM. Interesting.

*Quill*I wondered about being turned into "something wonderful"! I was curious as to what that would be. Is there a more descriptive and specific feeling or attitude. This just seems a bit weak as you are not a "thing" but a person. Maybe like "I become....and then use some vivid words. Just an idea. *Smile*

I enjoyed entering into such a romantic vision and could relate to the feeling of a loving relationship. Well done.*Star*

Keep on writing! *Quill*

49
49
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Sun**Flowery* Hi Webwitch! I am happy to review you as part of your package from The Chinese New Year Auction! *Delight* You have some awesome poems and many of them I had already reviewed. LOL Happy to find this one.

What a lovely alliterative title that engaged my curiosity as there are many mirrors. *Laugh* Your tag line was a good suggestive clue and the three genres are ones I enjoy!

*Star*I liked the images "proud mirror" and "inspiring still shot" in the first verse. The scene is vivid and the wondering mind of the poet getting confused as to which image is more real is valid. I love how the water can reflect things. It can be eerie too and it does not matter. Beauty is beauty.

*Star*This is just gorgeous array of words and images and I loved reading it aloud. I could not resist reading several times and there is a lot to imagine and ponder. Brilliant! *Star*

*Tree*I did wonder about the word "thine" as I read that it might be used with nouns beginning with a vowel or silent "h" and that "thy" is used with nouns like "wonders". Yet I am not an expert and maybe it is not a hard and fast rule. *Wink*

*Treepine*I loved all the lovely alliteratives and repeated sounds in words.*Delight* Such word wizardry.
I think after "symbiotic sensations" you don't need a comma as I felt the noun here was completed by the next part of the sentence. *Wink* Drop the period after "return" in the last verse as the next line follows with it in the word "When". Maybe a comma after "warped" for pause. *Think*

*Tree2*The contrast of the "pencil-like sentries of evergreens" with the "sprinkling of deciduous hardwoods" is appealing and vivid image set in the descriptive scene. The personification works well too.

*Star*The weave of vivid natural scenery and poetic pondering and questioning is effectively done and kept me reading.*Thumbsup*

*Delight*Thank you so much for sharing your vision adn free style craft. I immensely enjoyed my time honouring nature with you. *Starstruck* Keep on writing!

eyestar
A  birthday gift
50
50
Review of Silent Seduction  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Sun**Flowery* Hi Webwitch! I am happy to review you as part of your package from The Chinese New Year Auction! *Delight*

*Kiss* Wow! This is a brilliant picture, painted with well chosen vocabulary that was fun to read.
The image of the woman and man and the inner thoughts of the poet are so clear that one can easily enter into the experience. Sensually appealing so we can enter with our own imagination!*Delight*

*Kiss*Your use of alliteration and repeated sounds added to the flow and appeal of reading aloud. Verbs like "flex", "sporting" and "purse" are active and descriptive. The setting in the first verse drew me in and the descriptive, words in gerund form, suggest the movement and flow of emotions as well as set the scene. *Thumbsup*

I fell out of the poem at first as I had to think about "silver crown and chain gleam". *Confused* Then I got it.

*Heart*It was easy to sense to feelings and contentment of the poet in this moment.

*Heart* The title reflects the work as you reveal the connection between the couple without speech. I like the inner world of the lovers. Very romantic!

*Kiss*Well deserving of its ribbon! Thanks for sharing this amazing expression.

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