I think it's very strange that this is the next piece to review after reviewing a poem called "Full."
How interesting. I've never made a crossword puzzle on WDC. I like the way it shows that the word you picked to try is wrong. I realized, while I love to eat, I don't spell foreign foods correctly at all.
Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Amay
Oh how true your words ring. What a wonderful poem written from a hard lesson learned. I love the way your poem flows, the emotion seeps from the words you've carefully chosen.
Well done, wish you didn't have to live it, but the writing is very well done.
Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Amay
Sad to say, but I can relate to your poem. My sister-in-law had a list of diagnosis, from manic depression to bipolar, to well, there are just too many to name.
We've been in hiding, hiding from her rants, and tirades. Hiding from the accusations, it just made life easier to avoid and not cause problem for her immediate family than to expose our kids to her. We were the runners, and now that she's gone, her kids and grandkids realize how much we've missed them, but just couldn't deal with her.
Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Amay
When I started reading your poem, I was thinking about my best friend through school. We were so close. We grew up, each got married, life happened and we've lost touch.
Then the twist at the end. I get that too. I miss the man I fell in love with, after thirty years, I wonder where he's gone. I bet he feels the same way.
Too cool! Nicely done!
Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Amay
What an interesting poem! My mind leads me along the journey of your words, the paths of imagery, the paths of metaphor, to balance upon the lips of the moon. Very interesting word choices indeed, erotic as well, indeed.
Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Amay
You'll probably laugh, I guess I've been planning lessons too long this weekend. When I read your poem, I thought of the carbon cycle and the nitrogen cycle. They're up on the plate for next week.
Anyway, I know that wasn't what you were thinking about when you wrote this beautiful poem. How delightful, to tie everything together, the cycle of death to the cycle of life and the harmonious relationship that encompasses us all.
US spelling- blossomed- not sure where you live, it may be correct in your part of the world.
Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Amay
Welcome to WDC. I hope you will enjoy the time you spend here sharing your work with others. I know I've learned a lot over the past year. It's nice to find a safe place to grow in your craft.
Title: sadly blue.... my favorite color... not necessarily as relating to your poem though
Description: I was given this advice a lot as a newbie- and not too long ago as well. This is where you hook your reader. I think it's the hardest part to do. You pour your heart and soul into your writing, then a 90 character blurb. This blurb is the cherry on top. Pique your reader's curiosity so they'll want to click on your item.
Contents: vivid, powerful, flows well when reading, you can feel a natural crescendo and dimution as you read. I hesitate to say nicely done, due to the darkness of the poem, that seems like an oximoron, so, well written in an appropriate genre.
Thumbs up: See the fault in the design is,
I dig out good intelligent people,
Look for their comfort.
Dilemma comes down to,
Intelligent people rightly label me trouble,
And me and good people have nothing in common.>>>> I love this, especially when I think about recent events at work.
Conventions: none noted
Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Welcome to WDC. I hope you will enjoy the time you spend here sharing your work with others. I know I've learned a lot over the past year. It's nice to find a safe place to grow in your craft.
Title: works well with your lyrics
Description: I was given this advice a lot as a newbie- and not too long ago as well. This is where you hook your reader. I think it's the hardest part to do. You pour your heart and soul into your writing, then a 90 character blurb. This blurb is the cherry on top. Pique your reader's curiosity so they'll want to click on your lyrics.
Contents: I can easily see this as a song. Which leads me to another thing. You can record your tunes here for people to listen to on WDC, if you're interested. I'm not talented in that arena, and basically I only know about it because I found a song here once. It was pretty cool to listen to the author singing her song. Anyway, you've created quite an apology piece. I know that it will appeal to a wide audience since everyone has experienced some kind of break up during their life time.
Conventions: I do have one pet peeve, the pronoun I needs to be capital, and when you use I'm you really need the appostrophe. Some reviewers are really picky about punctuation and capital letters in poetry. That's up to you, I personally would capitalize the first words of the lines- like I said, that's up to you.
Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Welcome to WDC. I hope you will enjoy the time you spend here sharing your work with others. I know I've learned a lot over the past year. It's nice to find a safe place to grow in your craft.
Title: What is the title of this poem? You can create a folder for your poetry, and put your items in that folder.
Description: I was given this advice a lot as a newbie- and not too long ago as well. This is where you hook your reader. I think it's the hardest part to do. You pour your heart and soul into your writing, then a 90 character blurb. This blurb is the cherry on top. Pique your reader's curiosity so they'll want to click on your poetry.
Contents: Everything you've said is true, but so depressing. Holy cow, the world is lonely, if you don't get out there and do something about it. The world is scary, but you can't live your life in fear of every little thing... Your words have power... grow from them, learn from them.
Thumbs up: "To all those who say the world is a beautiful and majestic place full of wonder and imagination".... I like that part. I'm full of wonder, I search for the beauty and find it in a child's laugh, I watch their wonder, as they see something for the first time. I'll believe and keep believing in the wonderous earth that we live on, in the people that make us all what we are. I'll not live my life cooped up and trapped, by negativism.....
Conventions:what there up >> you have the wrong there-- you need they're the contraction for they are.
Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thus is the way the new year starts....
Then, in my system....
The testing starts and the learning and awe of learning stops.
Why bother with anything that isn't going to be on the test.. is the attitude that prevails
It breaks my heart to see children that have questions, become so dependent on A,B, C,or D choices that they can't think to create a new solution, to see that the box isn't real, there are answers outside the bubble they have to fill in...
Your piece captures what I love about my profession, and will probably be why I leave my profession.
Amay
I love haikus. It is one of the first forms of poetry that I teach to my students. What better way to reinforce what a syllable is and create something beautiful in the process.
While traditional haikus deal with nature, yours deals with a more adult form of nature, that I hope my kiddies won't think about for many many years.
A delightful way to think of someone special, and let them know how much they truly mean to you.
Have a great day and thank you for sharing
Happy WDC Anniversary year for the Birthday Celebration!
Your title and description drew me right into your port. My son got married last December. One of the bridesmaids created their wedding cake. At the rehearsal she was so upset, her father bumped one of the fondant covered sides of the tiers and it wasn't beautiful in her eyes anymore. The bride was gracious, telling her not to worry, it was going to get eaten anyway, being the wonderful girl that she is.
I went into the reception expecting a huge dent, or something awful. I searched and searched. It was really beautiful, with one little, tiny hard to even find bend in the fondant ribbon at the bottom tier. Bless Jen's heart, she was so worried over truly nothing.
Have you ever watched the Challenge show on the Food Network-- the five foot tall cakes immediately filled my mind when I read your limerick.
Very creatively done. What a memory jogger!
Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Amay
I love going back and reading and re-reading pieces written in the day. Sometimes it triggers the memories of what brought that particular piece about, sometime it jogs a memory (hopefully, a good one).
This piece brought back memories from 22 years ago. The only reason I remember how long ago it was is because I was pregnant. We had a writing workshop at school. Your words, brought back the lectures, the practice times, the dread of even attending that workshop. But your specific words- Just write- don't think! - it was like the mantra for one of the days. They were explaining stream of consciousness to us, and its place in the classroom. Wow, what a vivid memory. I can even remember the smell of the musty books in the library, while I was sitting there writing, This is so stupid. My feet are so swollen. lol, Those were the days!
Just so you know, it's been that kind of day. You know the kind, one where you sit down to do a review and end up standing up and cheering somebody on... with a resounding 'you tell 'em, boy.'
I read the green paragraph and I honestly wanted to smack the person. This is truly the best site that I've ever been involved with. Since joining, I've been invited to join two groups. I participate as much as my schedule will allow.
This summer was just awesome. I had time to review, enjoy other people's writing, and just write my butt off (well looking at it, I sat too much- it's still there).
Your piece is honest, forth right and totally on target. The number of services this site provides for free greatly out numbers any other site I've ever been a part of and I'm totally endebted to you and the mistress for all of your efforts with WDC.
Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Amay
Welcome to WDC. I hope you will enjoy the time you spend here sharing your work with others. I know I've learned a lot over the past year. It's nice to find a safe place to grow in your craft.
Title:
Description: I was given this advice a lot as a newbie- and not too long ago as well. This is where you hook your reader. I think it's the hardest part to do. You pour your heart and soul into your writing, then a 90 character blurb. This blurb is the cherry on top. Pique your reader's curiosity so they'll want to click on your story.
Thumbs up: You're right in your description- it is whimsical and it did make me smile. It also made me think of my grandfather that used to ask questions like that all the time.
Conventions: "Kind sir, ... needs a capital Kand a comma after sir
I then>> needs to go to the next line
Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Welcome to WDC. I hope you will enjoy the time you spend here sharing your work with others. I know I've learned a lot over the past year. It's nice to find a safe place to grow in your craft.
Title: There are lots of poems here on WDC, I hope you can find the title to yours soon.
Description: I was given this advice a lot as a newbie- and not too long ago as well. This is where you hook your reader. I think it's the hardest part to do. You pour your heart and soul into your writing, then a 90 character blurb. This blurb is the cherry on top. Pique your reader's curiosity so they'll want to click on your story.
Contents: Interesting poem with lots of illusions, and vivid emotional descriptions. Nicely written
Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Welcome to WDC. I hope you will enjoy the time you spend here sharing your work with others. I know I've learned a lot over the past year. It's nice to find a safe place to grow in your craft.
Title: I hope you can find the words you want to title this, it is powerfully, and well written.
Description: Your description works for what you've written, but I'll go ahead and give you this advice for other works. This is where you hook your reader. I think it's the hardest part to do. You pour your heart and soul into your writing, then a 90 character blurb. This blurb is the cherry on top. Pique your reader's curiosity so they'll want to click on your piece.
Contents: You've summed up a life time of indifference into a short piece that gives your feelings about a situation. You've stated your mind, concisely with examples to illustrate each point. You're probably right with your ending. The point, while illusive to you at the moment, will come to you. I can see it. You've released a lot and it isn't necessarily anything that you really want to confront someone else with. This was for you.
Thumbs up for stating your case without losing your dignity.
Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Welcome to WDC. I hope you will enjoy the time you spend here sharing your work with others. I know I've learned a lot over the past year. It's nice to find a safe place to grow in your craft.
Title: works well with your poem
Description: I was given this advice a lot as a newbie- and not too long ago as well. This is where you hook your reader. I think it's the hardest part to do. You pour your heart and soul into your writing, then a 90 character blurb. This blurb is the cherry on top. Pique your reader's curiosity so they'll want to click on your piece.
Contents: Depression is a dark place for the victim and those around that don't understand.
Thumbs up for giving a voice to what is causing the pain
Conventions: people's spirits or peoples' depending on if you mean one person or more
You might need to bump up your rating due to the word s***.
Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Welcome to WDC. I hope you will enjoy the time you spend here sharing your work with others. I know I've learned a lot over the past year. It's nice to find a safe place to grow in your craft.
Title: works well with your poem
Description: I was given this advice a lot as a newbie- and not too long ago as well. This is where you hook your reader. I think it's the hardest part to do. You pour your heart and soul into your writing, then a 90 character blurb. This blurb is the cherry on top. Pique your reader's curiosity so they'll want to click on your story.
Contents:your poem flows, and it builds through the piece. the capital I's are my pet peeve.
Thumbs up: I cannot be something I won't be--- how many people never stand up to be who they really want to be, always pleasing others
Conventions:they're void of power
capitalize the word I
Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Welcome to WDC. I hope you will enjoy the time you spend here sharing your work with others. I know I've learned a lot over the past year. It's nice to find a safe place to grow in your craft.
Title: Nicely titled
Description: You've hooked the reader with your description- well done. I know there are times when the description is a real struggle for me.
Contents: A sad story, with an equally sad ending. I could see this opening up to Danielle finding herself and karma giving her ex. a little kick in the pants.
Thumbs up: vivid descriptions, brisk pace, tightly written
Conventions: none noted
Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Welcome to WDC. I hope you will enjoy the time you spend here sharing your work with others. I know I've learned a lot over the past year. It's nice to find a safe place to grow in your craft.
Title:very appropriate
Description: The main character does fall in love with Loneliness in your piece, with all of the beautiful descriptions running throughout your piece, I was hoping for something more. I was given this advice a lot as a newbie- and not too long ago as well. This is where you hook your reader. I think it's the hardest part to do. You pour your heart and soul into your writing, then a 90 character blurb. This blurb is the cherry on top. Pique your reader's curiosity so they'll want to click on your story.
Contents: Your descriptions are so vivid, similies and metaphors add so much to your piece. I loved it, up to the last three sentences. Then I kind of went... say what? where did that come from? Interesting twist.
Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Contents: Why is it, those navels make such a great lint trap?
Thumbs up: I love the flow, and meter of your poem. It is light and airy...
Conventions: nothing noticed
Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Amay
A stream of consciousness about lieing to yourself.
Your thoughts seem to be floating around the surface of the issue.
Lieing to yourself, is a protection mechanism in some instances, that is true. Or, envisioning your own reality, which is by perception alone, in your own head.
Conventions: Capitalization of beginning words in sentences. Capitals for all of the word I.
Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Amay
A dark poem for a dark time, full of emotional drama from a floundering relationship. Endings can be such a release, but there's a lot of grief that comes in the process. You've captured the baser emotions within your poem and presented them with powerful words.
Your poem flows as lyrics, even the use of slang helps that flow.
Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Amay
What an interesting and vivid poem you've written. the reader can easily see the images you've presented. I'm sitting here trying to remember the name of a movie flashed into my memory when I read your poem, but it escapes me. I'm pretty sure it had something to do with the Druids. I know I'll think of it later.
Dancing, Twirling, Jumping
Under the full moonlight
Rays illuminating the oak grove >> I love how you have this separated from the second part, it gives the reader the opportunity to set the stage in their mind's eye.
The flow of your poem is just lovely.
I cannot imagine adding or taking anything away from this piece. It is a beautiful poem.
Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Amay
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