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376
376
Review of Waiting  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Navara Desen Ikakku,

Welcome to WdC.
I’m honored to read and review- Waiting

Title: Your title is right on target for your poem.

Description: Light and dark are such great metaphors in poetry. Your description would draw a variety of readers into your port to read.

Contents: As I read and re-read your poem, so many thoughts and levels of ideas came to mind. It challenged me to think deeper and create my own interpretation based upon my experiences. I thought about the changes that were promised politically. I thought about the changes in my unstable sister-in-law. You really opened a lot of doors for me. Nicely done!

Thumbs up: for creating a poem that speaks to so many different areas of life, so many different cultural current events, without being 'preachy'.

Thank you for using a larger font! There are many older readers here on WdC and it is helpful not to have to squint at the computer screen.

Conventions: Revile or reveal- either would work in the last line. I just wanted to make sure you have what you really want there.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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#1718637 by Maryann
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377
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Zachary,
I’m honored to read and review -A Romantic Evening

Title: Works well with your title

Description: This is your hook to draw people into your port to read. Entice your audience.

Contents: Very cute story. I'd punch up the ending a little. She storms from the house, or something a little more powerful than she leaves. The judges love twists at the end. I think you've got that covered.

Thumbs up: Your set up of your story is great. Nice light read for a Saturday morning.


Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay


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#1718637 by Maryann

378
378
Review of November  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Michael,
I’m honored to read and review- November

Title: Works well with your last line

Description: A romantic hook, leaving the reader questioning thus providing a perfect hook to pull your reader in.

Contents: You've created a romantic poem creating that emotional moment in time where the realization of something special is happening. Memories will fade with time, but the poetry will stand the test of time allowing the writer to remember a special moment.

Hang up: I got hung on the nostrils line. I'm not quite sure why my eyes kept going back to that line. Perhaps being the shorter of a pair, looking up and seeing- never mind- its just me.

Conventions: no errors noted

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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#1718637 by Maryann

379
379
Review of Light and Life  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Dungeon Warden,
I’m honored to read and review- Light and Life

Title: Interesting title, while my mind was wondering how a dungeon warden would play on that idea

Description: This was the real draw for me. I'd never heard of an Ae Freslighe poem before. I wanted to see what the form looked like.

Contents: Congratulations upon your Writer's Cramp win. I can see why it would win, what a delightfully light and airy poem. Not what I was expecting at all. Light, the source of all life, is honored within your poem. Its visual imagery creates the picture in the readers mind eye.

Thumbs up: Thank you for introducing me to a new form of poetry. I'm going to look it up and give it a whirl.

Conventions: No errors noted.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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#1718637 by Maryann

380
380
Review of Bad Kisser  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Stormy Lady,
I’m honored to read and review -Bad Kisser

Title: When I read the title, my mind went in all kinds of directions- too much, not enough, garlic laden breath just to name a few. The main thing it was a hook to get me in to read.

Description: Your description added to my curiosity, which is what the best descriptions do. You opened the door and I strolled right in.

Contents: I think many women can relate to this poem. We build up a vision in our heads of what could be, only to be let down by the reality of how a man thinks and acts. It is so true that male and female brains are not wired the same way. You've reiterated the science within your poem in a much more entertaining way. The emotional ups and downs are related in a way that flows with ease and vividly describes a common situation in our formative years. Learning a lesson that is a real pain in the heart/ butt.

Thumbs up: I love your concluding lines... It was one of those, been there, done that moments when you realize how much you're glad your not back in that type of situation anymore.

Conventions: No errors noted

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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by Maryann

381
381
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Garnet,
I’m honored to read and review- A Little Boy's Eyes

Title: I can't imagine any other title for this poem/song. It drew me in, as a mother of two grown little boys.

Description: Your description leaves me wanting.... not that it's bad or wrong. I'd just love to know the tune.

Contents: I was blessed to raise two Eagle Scouts and everything that you mention in your song reminds me of all of the wonderful things about being a mom to little boys growing up. The frogs, and bugs, unfortunately snakes, too, that came home with them while exploring the woods around our home. The school projects, the scouting projects, all golden memories.

Thumbs up: For reminding me how much I loved those days, and honestly how much I miss them!

Conventions: no errors noted

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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382
382
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi tazz871,
I’m honored to read and review - The One... Or So I Thought

Title: I think your title is very cute, and it also baited this reader to come in to read your poem.

Description: I imagine you did have some fun creating this poem. It is fun to read as well.

Contents: You've developed a really cute concept for your poem. It's whimsical, and flows with great ease. The reader is led along right to the end when ta-da, the twist is revealed. Excellent! I love twists.

Thumbs up: I love the anticipation that builds through the first half of your poem. I really did enjoy reading it.

Conventions: no errors noted

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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383
383
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Jarrett,
I’m honored to read and review - I'll Still Be Loving You

Title: I like the title, it goes well with your poem

Description: Your description tempted me, I went back and said to myself- what ever goes right? hmmmmm>> That's what a description is supposed to do.

Contents: No matter what, you've put it on the line. I can easily see this being something a mother or father says to their child.
A lover says to their mate. Unconditional love is what it is all about.

Thumbs up: I love the apple line. It just makes me smile

Conventions: typo- remember, lovin- add an apostrophe after the n or put the g,

no matter what goes right I'll still be lovin you no matter what goes right I'll stand by you>> you could break this line into two lines


and my ship comes sailing in you'll always be my lover you'll always be my friend>> this line could be two as well


Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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384
384
Review of Never Enough  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi sirensong,
I’m honored to read and review -Never Enough

Title: The title fits your poem beautifully

Description: Just enough of a tease to draw people in to enjoy your poem

Contents: Your poem will touch many people. It is describing an emotional crossroads where the intersection of reality meets the dreams of what a person would envision. The poem flows with ease, and the tension builds through the first part, then you add the layer of contrast where, it isn't enough. Very nicely done.

Thumbs up: For it stings that it’s untrue
empty words and figments of imaginations
will not do, anymore.-- and so much more of your poem touches the heart

Conventions: No errors noted

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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385
385
Review of Dddad Was Home  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Caffy,
I’m honored to read and review -Dddad was Home

Title: By the time I was mid-way through your story, I knew why the three 'd's for dad.

Description: Interesting description, it caught my attention and drew me in. That's what a description is supposed to do.

Contents: I was amazed at the detailed descriptions, emotions, sounds, etc. that you captured in your story. Every sentence added to the tension of 'daddy' coming home. There are so many times when I'm writing, I don't think about adding such vivid details. Thanks for the reminder!

Thumbs up: For creating a sensual delight-- as in so many senses were touched by your words- not the erotic kind of sensualness.

Conventions: No errors noted

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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386
386
Review of Prose  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi pennednprose,

I’m honored to read and review - Prose

Title: The title works well with your poem

Description: You're most correct, your poem is very whimsical, as well as enjoyable

Contents: Poetry touches the heart and 'Prose' does touch the heart with its light-hearted glimpse into your writing style.
A very enjoyable read.

Thumbs up: I just love how the third stanza rolls and flows, like a fine wine.

Conventions: no errors noted

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*

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387
387
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Watersprite,
I’m honored to read and review - The Cry That No One Heard

Title: I like the title, it fits beautifully with your poem

Description: What a beautifully written description. Nicely done. I find the description part of submitting the hardest part of all. To me finding the right 90 characters to give a taste, but not too much is a true challenge.

Contents: Your poem is very relate- able to the masses. Everyone has had experiences with loss and rejection. The pain that follows, the growth and perseverance that is learned through the painful process. You've written an emotional piece, that flows well.

Thumbs up: "The child must carry on" - So true in so many different situations

Conventions: no errors noted

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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388
388
Review of Visions  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi modernpoet,
I’m honored to read and review- Visions

Title: It works well with your poem

Description: I totally get where the 'baggage' comment works with your description.

Contents: Two rebounders found each other. Each of them have baggage they haven't dealt with and are finding support with each other. Then the unthinkable.... he calls the girl the wrong name. Apparently, they don't have kids yet, or they'd understand what my grandmother called the 'roll call' slip. But, I know, it still hurts.

Thumbs up: "He calls her the wrong name
and stops, mid-breath."- I bet there was a shade of red on his face, as well as the tear on hers.
Conventions: No errors noted

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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Review of #2 on the rim  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi NightScribe,

I’m honored to read and review -#2 on the Rim

Title: Interesting title, it made me wonder what was number one?

Description: Just a tidbit to let the reader know what the poem is about

Contents: What an interesting visual image you've set up for the reader. I can see the spider teetering around the rim of the garbage can. Their amazing ability to spin webs that are so beautiful. I can see a kid running in the other direction, too, if taken aback not knowing the spider was there.

Thumbs up: For the creative imagery creating a visual feast for the reade

Conventions: no errors noted

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi TruthSeeker,

I’m honored to read and review- So Hard to Believe

Title: Relevant and appropriate for the poem

Description: very appropriate for the poem

Contents: You've taken a very real situation that many people can relate to and given words the power to heal the pain. The poem flowed so well, the contrasts make everything make sense.

Thumbs up: "Never felt this depth of pain before...." the climax of your poem, grounds it in reality that is easily understandable and will illicit emotions from your readers.

Conventions: no errors noted

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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Review of Being Me  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi LilHoneyBager,

I’m honored to read and review- Being Me

Title: Your title fits your poem so very well

Description: Maybe you could add something about how important it is to accept someone as they are

Contents: The reality of your poem will hit people square between the eyes. You can't make someone bend to your will. If you truly love them, they will accept that one, warts and all. Your poem is insightful, and very relevant in these days.

Thumbs up:" You didn't look close enough to see the real me
I tried to be who you wanted me to be
I never want to do that again for you or anybody else" .... I'd give a standing ovation, but you wouldn't be able to see it.

Conventions: no errors noted

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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Review of Paranoia  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Arahn Huddleston,
I’m honored to read and review- Paranoia

Title: I liked the title. That's why I picked this piece to read.

Description:

Contents: You've created a visual feast for the reader. The lead character peering out of the window, nervous and jittery. Outside, two unknown foes lurking around. What no good is some one up to?? hmmm, the mystery begins, and ends with loads of questions popping around in my mind. Wouldn't this be a great poem to read, and then have students to draw what they think would happen next, or let them continue the story. Excellent work! You've made me think!

Thumbs up: for the intrigue and mystery you've achieved in so few words!

Conventions: seperating separating is the correct spelling for the US

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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393
393
Review of my only Christmas  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi megalomania,
I’m honored to read and review -My Only Christmas

Title: The title tugged on my heart strings and piqued my curiosity.

Contents: The details of your piece broke my heart, made me smile with fond memories, and made me really think about the traditions my family has. While our paths in life are so different, I think there is always that one special Christmas that brings a twinkle to our eyes. Thank you for sharing yours with the WDC family.

Thumbs up:There was no fighting, no yelling, no hidden feelings of resentment towards one another, this was my only Christmas that I remember and hope that i never forget.>> I wish you the joy and peace of the season and that this will also be a Christmas for you to remember.

Conventions: Minor typos- all easy fixes.
> somewhat of a depression >>> somewhat depressing - would work better in the sentence.
>stay in our rooms and it wasnt >>> wasn't needs the apostrophe
>santa >>>> needs to be capital - Santa
> i >>> the pronoun needs to be capital
>dont>> needs the apostrophe don't
>wouldnt allow>>> needs the apostrophe
> Sonic the Hedgehog >> capitals

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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Review of Crash and Burn  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Kathy George,
I’m honored to read and review - Crash and Burn

Title:Works well with your poem

Description: Indeed the title pretty much tells it all

Contents: You've created a dark vision of despair. I have to admit, my mind didn't travel in that direction from the title. I guess I was a little too 'car' driven.

Thumbs up: for giving an emotional glimpse into a life I've never really had any contact with. I guess I'm truly lucky.

Conventions: no errors noted

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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Review of The Changes  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Sticker,
I’m honored to read and review -The Changes

Title: Your title works with your poem

Description: A nice way to look at the making of a family with unusual dynamics

Contents: The flow of your poem is light and easy to read. The ending almost reminds me of a riddle, which makes it light-hearted and very fun to read.

Thumbs up- for an enjoyable read! Thank you for sharing!

Conventions: just a couple of easy fixes-
was'nt> should be wasn't
You may want to fix your tag- it shows as >>Tag: {e:Hourglass instead of the hour glass.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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Review of GRABBERS  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Joe,
I’m honored to read and review - Grabbers

Title: Works for your piece

Description: I must say amen

Contents: It is amazing that children can even write anything with the way we're expected to teach writing these days. I have a friend whose children all start their stories with an exclamation, whether its appropriate or not. Grabbing the attention is so important, if you can't sell the story in the first few pages, you may not get a sale.

Thumbs up: Thank you for sharing your experiences. I don't know that I'll ever get the nerve to contact a publisher or not, but its nice to know there are people here that have walked that path.

Conventions: no errors noted

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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397
397
Review of Abandon  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Alexandre,

I’m honored to read and review -Abandon

Title: Fits the poem perfectly.

Description: Pique the reader's curiosity with your description.

Contents: When I read the poem, my thoughts went back to the old home place. The house was on the side of Star Mountain in Tennessee. My dad was born there. Half the floor was board, the other half dirt, with a stone hearth. The tin roof has long since sunken in on the structure. Anymore it is hard to even find it from the road.
Enough of me, back to your poem. It is obvious that it will strike an emotional cord for anyone that is moving on, or has ties to an old homestead.

Thumbs up: For touching an emotional cord on this holiday weekend

Conventions: no errors noted

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
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398
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Review of The Odd Couple  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with Sensual Infusion  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Percy,

It is my pleasure to read and review The Odd Couple for the Opposites Attract Prompt for Sensual Moments, Vol. II.

You've developed an interesting couple. They truly are an odd pair of creatures. The development of their relationship is reminiscent you two youngsters exploring their sexuality, flirting, heavy petting, stopping short of doing anything really 'naughty'. But have they done something naughty? It would be interesting to see what happens next.

I'm not sure if I understood everything with the scarab, but it sounded like it found the perfect hostess. What will become of Pluto and Bedelia? Is parenthood in their future?

The conversation between Bedelia and Pluto moves the story along. It doesn't feel forced or contrived. While the conversations keep things moving, the descriptions tended to interrupt the flow. It made the reading slightly choppy for me, but the reader needed to know what and where the characters were.

I enjoyed being transported to a land far away tonight. Thank you for sharing The Odd Couple with Sensual Moments, Vol. II

Amay
aka

Katrina
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Review of Moments  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Happy WDC Anniversary!

A beautiful poem to bring joy and light to a life well lived. I loved the flow of the words. The natural cadence of the words were comforting. The cycle of life represented in another manner. Very nicely done.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Amay
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400
400
Review by Amay
In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Happy WDC Anniversary!

What a wonderful blessing for a newlywed. It makes you wonder how many generations its been passed through, and how many brides turned beet red when they heard it.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Amay
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