Dear Wes  ;
Thank you for sharing your story "A Different Path"  [ASR] with WDC, I'm happy to have the chance to review your work! This rate and review is offered in the spirit of assistance. Remember that these are only opinions as I see this piece as a reader. Please feel free to ignore any or all suggestions.
Opening Line(s)
 Decent opening line! You grab the reader with "Ten years..." and have them wondering, ten years of what? Then you dropped the ball in the second paragraph with a sigh... That's how long I worked in the public school system in my home state of Florida before I decided I needed a change...
Blah! Put me to sleep! Actually, paragraph three needs to be swapped with two. Don't drop us into the humid boredom.
What I liked Most
There's a beauty that not everyone can see in Saigon. Somehow, the trash covering the streets, the thousands of buildings with peeling paint, and the millions of motorbikes congesting the streets...
This was the most descriptive element of the story to me. I felt like I was beginning to be part of the story here, but this is way into the story. This type of description could have begun much sooner.
On a Personal Note
It was rewarding to attempt to instill an appreciation for reading into my students... Wordy, maybe consider It was rewarding to attempting to instill an appreciation for reading into my students...
This time I stayed a little longer and travelled from as far south as... This time I stayed a little longer and travelled traveled from as far south as...
Being in Saigon for the third time in as many years was like visiting an old friend again. The city is chaotic and noisy, dirty and disorganized, but somehow attractive and exciting, full of an energy that can't be explained. There's a beauty that not everyone can see in Saigon. Somehow, the trash covering the streets, the thousands of buildings with peeling paint, and the millions of motorbikes congesting the streets in every neighborhood in town don't doesn't diminish my appreciation for what this city has to offer. Even the midnight hours bring action and excitement and traffic careening throughout the city.
The school is in a nice, fairly modern building, only one year old, very clean, with comfortable classrooms, a huge student cafeteria, and a modern library with computers. My pay is Salaries are very generous, almost $3,000 a month, plus full medical insurance, and all American holidays off (two weeks off for Christmas!). I have my own classroom, too, which is very nice.
I live in a neighborhood that is pretty conveniently located in the central part of the city. In Saigon you are never far from places to get good food. Food here is so cheap it's hard to believe anyone could make a living serving a good hot meal for so low a price.
You shouldn't weaken the sentence with unstable descriptives.
My work day begins at about 7:00, when I walk out of the house and hop on the back of the motorbike of the driver I have hired to take me to and from work everyday. His name is Anh Cuong and he's as reliable as Old Faithful, always there just outside the gate of the house every morning and waits just across the street from the entrance to my school to bring me home in the afternoon, rain, shine, heat, heavy traffic, or flooded streets. He's a great guy. I wish I could talk to him, but he doesn't speak a word of English and I can say about five things in Vietnamese.
Unless you have more to say about this person and his importance in your decision to make your life change, this paragraph should be cut. It does nothing for your story other than show us that you ride to work on a motorbike, which you can say in one sentence. You can do the same thing with the paragraphs on politics. While it is amusing that the Vietnamese are intrigued with American politics, it has absolutely nothing to do with your choice of being a teacher in Vietnam.
In Summary
This story is well thought out and placed on paper in organized form. It appears that you prepared an outline and followed this to a "T", however, one problem that I see with the story is structure. It seems to have so much structure that it does not flow, as stories do from "around a campfire." Maybe this was not your intent. I found it also to be wordy in that this piece could probably be written in about half the words. You have great descriptive capabilities in places, and should employ them throughout the piece. It would make this a much more colorful document. As to length, it is fine, or would be once the rambling was cut and descriptions put in... Enough said... Write On!!!
The Gospel BluesMan
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