First let me say- I am honest with my reviews and rate according to the amount of work I think a poem needs and also upon content- This needs no work in my opinion and the content certainly speaks for itself! The rhyme scheme is interesting and works very well- I am just learning about different rhyme structure and this one flows very well and has a nice sound to my ear: A,A,B,C,C,B. In the first stanza i thought the slant in the first two lines worked well- I read somewhere that a good slant rhyme helps to break the monotony in a rhyming poem. Also your syllable count is very close- First stanza: 7,4,4,10,4,4- Second stanza: 9,4,6,7,4,4. this , in my opinion, gives the poem a good rhythm. The content: Very discriptive- good imagery- This poem has what i call a special "quality" about it. You have the gift! Keep writing and God Bless- Again, I will be checking in from time to time to give my humble, and honest, opinion.
I thought this was an interesting piece. It has a good flow to it and the use of good slant rhymes as well as stright rhyme- And importantly- at least to me, it has a resolution- Keep writing and God bless.
I liked this and you are a good writer- I think this would be better in todays verse though- the language is new, but it feels old- Just my opinion- Good writing! Keep writing and God bless!
This is a good poem- threw me a little after the first verse- rhyme scheme changed a little- The coulds and would are a little repetitive for me- but thats me! Good write- God Bless and keep writing.
"Then, like an intrepid old boat slowly groaning out to sea, he is gone." Love this last line- beautiful free verse. Your first attempt was a success! God bless and keep writing!
I thought this was a very good poem. Rhyme scheme was good- For me, when you use a plural, and singular, in a rhyme scheme- it throws off the rhyme a little bit: "Load"- "roads". And when you have an end rhyme with one syllable then the rhyme word with two syllabes or vise-a-vresa it throws off the rhyme as well: "Nothing"- "bring" But thats just me! Aside from that I thought this was a great read- Good quantitative lines as well- Bravo! Well done! Keep writing. God Bless...
The content is powerful and real- on that point I say Bravo! Language and structure needs work- Even free verse needs a beat. Try syllabe consistency pre stanza. This will help with language as well- God bless and keep wriring.
You obviously have talent- but this is to convoluted. It seems to be a mixture of Shakespeare and Robert Frost- The language is old. can't tell if this is poetry or prose. I would love to see this in todays language. It would be more original. My guess is that you can write circles around me and a lot of other people- In my opinion, For what that is worth, try writing this in todays language and see what you get- God Bless and keep writing...
best poem i have read today- magnificent. I think the rhyme was good- there was good rhythm- and the content was touching. Bravo- keep writing and god Bless!
I have yet to be able to figure, with any consistancy, the differance between the stressed and unstressed syllable- So I can be no help there. I can tell you that this poem flowed very well- has a nice beat- and the content was clear and understood. Good job. and keep writing.
descriptive- loved the first six stanzas. Good free verse! Last two stanzas were good, but seemed out of place to me- good poem, and good writing. God Bless and keep writing.
I very much like your interpretation of the night before christmas- Thought this might be a little mushy before I clicked in- but it was real and i got a little chuckle out of it! Good write! Will be checking in from time to time to view your work- I keep the poets I like in my favorites so I can read and learn. God Bless and Have a great Day!
Caught me by surprize at the end of that one! good Job! good rhyme and flows well. will be dropping in from time to time to check out your writing- God Bless and have a great day!
Original! Exuberant! Exquisite! Excellant! A magnificent triumph! I had a blast reading this poem. I normally don't care for poetry that is all over the page, but i wish this one would have went on for another twenty stanzas... Plus I got a tickel to boot! Bravo! Author! Bravo! Keep writing and God Bless! P.S. If I could have I would have rated this six stares!
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