"Then, like an intrepid old boat slowly groaning out to sea, he is gone." Love this last line- beautiful free verse. Your first attempt was a success! God bless and keep writing!
I thought this was a very good poem. Rhyme scheme was good- For me, when you use a plural, and singular, in a rhyme scheme- it throws off the rhyme a little bit: "Load"- "roads". And when you have an end rhyme with one syllable then the rhyme word with two syllabes or vise-a-vresa it throws off the rhyme as well: "Nothing"- "bring" But thats just me! Aside from that I thought this was a great read- Good quantitative lines as well- Bravo! Well done! Keep writing. God Bless...
The content is powerful and real- on that point I say Bravo! Language and structure needs work- Even free verse needs a beat. Try syllabe consistency pre stanza. This will help with language as well- God bless and keep wriring.
You obviously have talent- but this is to convoluted. It seems to be a mixture of Shakespeare and Robert Frost- The language is old. can't tell if this is poetry or prose. I would love to see this in todays language. It would be more original. My guess is that you can write circles around me and a lot of other people- In my opinion, For what that is worth, try writing this in todays language and see what you get- God Bless and keep writing...
best poem i have read today- magnificent. I think the rhyme was good- there was good rhythm- and the content was touching. Bravo- keep writing and god Bless!
I have yet to be able to figure, with any consistancy, the differance between the stressed and unstressed syllable- So I can be no help there. I can tell you that this poem flowed very well- has a nice beat- and the content was clear and understood. Good job. and keep writing.
descriptive- loved the first six stanzas. Good free verse! Last two stanzas were good, but seemed out of place to me- good poem, and good writing. God Bless and keep writing.
I very much like your interpretation of the night before christmas- Thought this might be a little mushy before I clicked in- but it was real and i got a little chuckle out of it! Good write! Will be checking in from time to time to view your work- I keep the poets I like in my favorites so I can read and learn. God Bless and Have a great Day!
Caught me by surprize at the end of that one! good Job! good rhyme and flows well. will be dropping in from time to time to check out your writing- God Bless and have a great day!
Original! Exuberant! Exquisite! Excellant! A magnificent triumph! I had a blast reading this poem. I normally don't care for poetry that is all over the page, but i wish this one would have went on for another twenty stanzas... Plus I got a tickel to boot! Bravo! Author! Bravo! Keep writing and God Bless! P.S. If I could have I would have rated this six stares!
A nice friendship poem! The Rhyme was perfect, and the poem had a pretty good beat- You had six 9 syllable lines- Six 8 syllable lines- one 7 syllable line- and one six syllable line- which accounts for the nice rhythm. Good job! keep writing and God Bless!
There are a lot of religions! Just being Christan counts for six that you have up there and there are well over a hundred different denominations. And there are a great many other faiths than Christen in the world- that is why you are getting so many "Nones" Myself- I believe in a Higher power- God- But follow no particular Faith or denomination of one- so what does that make me? Keep these polls coming- I enjoy them!!! Keep writing and God Bless!!
Felt that this poem flowed very well. Felt you lost your rhyme scheme a little, but a very intresting poem none the less- I enjoyed reading this- Keep writing. God Bless and Happy New Year.
This is one of those poems that leave a "Feeling" or impression on me- The kind of poem you read through many times and always "Feel" the poem. It has a life. It breaths. Good Job! I give this five stars. God Bless and Happy New Year!
beautifully done- Masterful. very nice rhyme consistiency. flows well- reads stright through. Very interesting form- Content is inspirational. reminds me a little of frost. "Road less traveled" Bravo! Happy New Year!...
I give this five stars. I like these kind of poems. Short with alot of emoition packed into it. It makes me stop and think as well- We need more poems like this. Good job! Bravo!
Amen Brother- At fifty I'm just starting to get comfortable with myself, and would not want to be a teenager again for anything! If there is reincarnation- I will pass! I have noticed that my ears have grown a coat for the winters now that was never there when i was younger- lol.... This story was delightful, humorous, and true. It read through very well- and I enjoyed every word. Thank-you my friend, and God Bless and Happy New Year!!!
I would like to offer my deepest and heart-felt apoligies- Your bio says you would like some feed-back on improving your writing and I have none. Again, this is perfect the way it is- If i had to struggle to find something i guess it would be when she "thinks" to her self in the beginning of the story I would put that in script- if that is possible, to indicate thought, rather than spoken words, but It really does not matter because you state that as well. Your work is very discriptive and "Real"- I read stright through and became involved with the character. Very humorus as well! Again I say Bravo!!!!!
This was very informative. The links you have supplied here will be very helpful as well- Have saved some of them to my favorites. I think the biggest problem I have encountered for myself is coming across a piece that I am not sure how to review. Where I just do not feel qualified. (I think this will give me a better idea how to approch these reads.} And I have seen some reviews where the reviewer drew blood and i felt bad for the receiptent. The biggest reason that I want a review is to be shown, if need be, where i need to improve my work. When someone points out what i need to improve and does it in a callous way without any encouragement- it can be disheartening. I always try to give some encouragement on every review. I have found that it does take a certain amount of courage to give a rating and review that is less than perfect- I know for myself, there is a part of me that becomes self-centered for a moment, and I think if I don't give a good review It will come back to me in my own work- Then I remember the reason i joined WDC. and I give the most honest, and encouraging review I can- I'm here to improve my work, not to be lied to because someone is afraid they will hurt my feelings! I did not know I felt this strongly about this subject till I read this informative piece. On a final note, I sent one anonymous review and it did not feel right to me. I think this can give us licence to be overly harsh- even over-stepping our boundries. I have a long way to go I think on rating and reviews, but through this piece and the links supplied I am starting to feel more comfortable. Thank-you for writing this. God Bless and Happy New Year!!!
Wow! This would make a fabulous song! I have to admit- I got chills, up and down my spine! Was thinking about the way I lived my life as I read this. For me personally- it fits, and i think anyone who has lived a life of, not only addiction, but abuse as well- will be moved by this beautiful write! I have crawled out of more gutters and walked away from more abuse than i am willing to admit at times- Life has beaten me down till i could no longer stand. When I could not do it on my own any longer, I turned to god- who is now my strength! MY writing, as is yours, is one of the weapons God has given me to stand up and face the world. When I write i heal myself- When I read inspired writing like yours- it heals me! Depending on how we use it- Writing is Gods love! Being a teacher for a living is one of the most noble occupations on the face of the planet. To teach children, and help influence their minds, and prepare them for life- what could be more sacrificing. I had so much anger, and had lived such an extream existance, even by the age of ten- that by the time I reached the seventh grade I was dismissed from every school in the state! I had to teach myself to read and write. the grades i did attend i ignored while i was there- thats why i use so many words the wrong way when i write and my spelling is so off at times- i spend a great deal of time proofing my work, and still get it wrong. Thats why i see your profession as so noble. I wish i could have benefited from your gift of teaching- God has blessed you in two ways- The gift of teaching and the gift of writing! This poem-song. that you have written will touch many hearts my friend... God Bless and Happy New year!!!
excellent writing. Free verse that sings! I know that this is already long for a poem but i would expand it even more!!! Make it epic! Or not- either way, good write!! Bravo! Happy New Year and God Bless!!!
delightfull! Structure was good. Has a good beat. I love these kinds of poems. they make me want to crawl into bed and put the covers over my head! This would be a good halloween poem. Anyway, good job. Loved the content. Happy New Year. And please keep writing. I enjoy reading your work!
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