MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM, AND IN MY OPINION, BELIEVE IT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Very interesting little poem. Don't know if this is an established form or not but I got stuck on the second stanza.
SUGGESTIONS:
I would take the second line of the second stanza and make it the first line of the third stanza:
"Sound
Of wings."
WHAT I LIKED MOST:
The whole poem.
SUMMARY:
I think this is a great little poem- In my opinion, I would just rework the line structure. Or not! God bless and keep writing!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** THE DUTCHMAN. PROUD MEMBER A1 WRITING ACADEMY
I love the linear style here. It gives this poem power! Powerful emotion here. Another Great free verse poem! A little tip- Change your rating to 18+ or WDC will do it for you! It is a drop down on the edit page! God bless and keep writing!
Poignant, beautiful, and tender! What a wonderful poem! Great free verse. Can't pick a favorite part because I love the whole poem. Perfect. Bravo! God bless and keep writing!
Great little form. Love the way he syllable count climbs here. Discriptive and visual. I can feel and smell and see the summer night. Great job! God bless and keep writing!
Right on the money Magi! good perfect rhyme- some good slants- overall great poem. And as always our favrite subject! The written word! God bless and keep writing!
MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM, AND IN MY OPINION, BELIEVE IT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Sounds like a terrible day-dream. At first I thought you were talking about being at war or in the military. Then I thought maybe hell (The heat and the cold)I'm really not sure. But that dosen't always matter with poetry- It's the feeling or impression that I am left with. And for me it is one of relief I think- Glad that the day-dream (Nightmare) is over and the antagonist can get on with his life and his studies.
SUGGESTIONS:
I don't think I have any suggestions- I think this poem does it's job just the way it is- it makes you think. Is this a dream? is this about the writers family? Is it a real place, and can i figure this out through the clues given in the poem?
WHAT I LIKED MOST:
What I liked most was what made me think the most: "The rain burns my skin yet fire doesn't seem to bother." and, "The sun seems radiant from inside but when looked upon, just a dull star." and, "Night feels like a hot summer day, when day is as cold as mid winters." It's like a riddle.
SUMMARY:
Very Interesting poem. Thought provoking. God bless and keep writing!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** THE DUTCHMAN. PROUD MEMBER A1 WRITING ACADEMY
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