What follows is my honest and heartfelt review and rating of your work. My reviews are meant to be helpful and hopefully, encouraging. Remember, I am just one voice and one opinion. The rating system means many things to many people. Here is what it means to me: Anything below three stars needs a ton of revision. Three stars represents writing that is good, but needs improvement. Four stars is writing that is very good, touches something within me, and has quality. Five stars is writing that needs no revision, moves me intellectually or emotionally, and has quality.
Quality: degree of excellence; a distinguishing attribute; an acquired skill; the attribute of an elementary sensation that makes it fundamentally unlike any other sensation.
MY REVIEW:
A very powerful poem, filled with some very powerful emotions. There are a few little technical problems here and there. I think you should do one of two things here: Work on the line breaks a little bit or add punctuation. I say this because the poem does not read straight through for me. I have to read it several times to get the full impact - overall though, a very good effort and poem. God bless and keep writing…
What follows is my honest and heartfelt review and rating of your work. My reviews are meant to be helpful and hopefully, encouraging. Remember, I am just one voice and one opinion. The rating system means many things to many people. Here is what it means to me: Anything below three stars needs a ton of revision. Three stars represents writing that is good, but needs improvement. Four stars is writing that is very good, touches something within me, and has quality. Five stars is writing that needs no revision, moves me intellectually or emotionally, and has quality.
Quality: degree of excellence; a distinguishing attribute; an acquired skill; the attribute of an elementary sensation that makes it fundamentally unlike any other sensation.
MY REVIEW:
Dreams can certainly be better than reality. I thought you did a good job conveing your message here. I consider this free verse with a spattering of rhyme. I see no recognizable form, so that is my assumtion. I think if you used more images the poem would be more colorful. I noticed as well that your first spelling of familiar was "familure" in the fourth line. Overall though, a good job. God bless and keep writing.
There is quality to your musings. This one is filled with gems and jewels. Each stanza and line holds meaning. Their meaning may be different to me than what it meant to you when writing, but deep meaning none the less. My favorite I think is, "Justify the ragged margins of the universe." And, "prick a dream alive". There is no doubt that you have the mind and heart of a poet. I wish you many years to share your magic. God bless (or whatever blesses you) and keep writing... By the way, I give this poem a BRAVO! AUTHOR! BRAVO!
A very interesting poem. The repetend at the end of each stanza gives this poem a very nice sing/song quality. The poem is well structured, and actually has a rhyme scheme. The eighth and ninth line of every stanza has a rhyme. ab-ab-ab-ab-ab... I think the rest of the poem though, is broken up enough (rhyme wise) to call this free verse. But some could very well argue, that it is not. I think in this case, if the poet says it is free verse, then it is free verse. The poem speaks of the horrors of being institutionalized. Very scary and very depressing situation, though, the sing/song quality the poem has shaves some of the harshness from the central idea of the poem. Overall, I think a very nice job. I think the use of more images would have helped a bit, bit still very well done. God bless, and keep writing...
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Though, you do not write much free verse, or at least not latley, I thought you did a fine job with this poem. The image you provided above certainly fits the poem. There are certain lines in the poem which really hit home for me. "I feel my insignificance." "Flotsam on the shore, much like I feel like flotsam in the world." This poem gives me the sense of awe that you feel at the moment unfolding in front of you. And then your last stanza leaves us with hope,"I inhale deeply.../of the spiced air/of the night sounds/of the moonlight". Very well done. God bless and keep writing...
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I thought you did an excellent job with this shape poem (I am not sure what these poems are called). It is free verse in the shape of a flame and speaks of spreading inspiration throughout the world. Great job! Thank you for entering in the contest. God bless...
This poem is exquisite. The whole poem just sings. It flows masterfully. Thank you for explaining the word "Virginal" I love learning new words, and also "Madrigal" is new to me. I will have to look up this "part song/part poetry from". Your choice of words in this poem just brings it alive. I say BRAVO! AUTHOR! BRAVO!!!
I am never dissapointed when I read your work. I consider you one of the best writers on this site. Your sonnet is spot on, and you have told a story with your sonnet. The images are clear and the poem flows like melted butter. Not only are you a wonderful story teller, you are an accomplished poet as well. Keep writing nicki, and God bless...
Your Kyrielle form is spot on. I would even say that it is written in iambic meter rather than just tetrameter. Perhaps that is not a requirement of the Kyrielle, but it seems to have the meter none the less. the poem also fits the Elegy very well. A beautiful tribute to Buddy Holly...
I love this "Tributaries" of poems you are creating. I look forward to watching them flourish and grow. The poems are thoughful and powerful and say much. When the book finally comes out, I will be one of the first to buy a copy. God bless and keep writing...
MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.
Overall Impressions:
What a beautiful metaphorical poem. It stirs within me powerful emotions of a relationship I had with my daughter's mother. She tried to change everything about me. She knew who and what I was when we met, yet she tried constantly to change my ways, appearance, everything that made me, me... Excellent poem!
Suggestions:
Absolutely none.
What I Liked Most:
The metaphor.
Summary: BRAVO! AUTHOR! BRAVO!
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MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
I have to say that this poem of yours had me on the edge of my seat for a minute. I thought something terrible was about to happen, and... not to give away too much... Well done. You got my attention and kept it...
SUGGESTIONS:
None
WHAT I LIKED MOST:
You stirred some unwanted emotions in me, but that is what poetry should do. Stir emotions.
SUMMARY:
BRAVO!
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I saw this under poetry (reading). I know I already responded to this in our class fourm, but I thought I would go ahead and get credit for the review. Again, I completely agree with the wonderful point made. i have loss track how many times someone announced to me that what I had written was not poetry, but prose instead. I think it is an individual call... God bless, and see you in class...
MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
I noticed that this has a very low rating, so I guess I am about to disagree with someone. This is a very fun poem, and ingenious as well. It is jammed with poetic devices. Mostly though, I love the alliteration. Very inventive. Great job!
SUGGESTIONS:
NONE
WHAT I LIKED MOST:
The alliteration. The poem flows very well I think.
SUMMARY: BRAVO! AUTHOR! BRAVO!
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MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
This is a very interesting form (new to me), and you did a wonderful job with it. I love these short forms. I always felt, if I wrote one a day, that something special would emerge. It looks as if you got your special poem here. Great job.
SUGGESTIONS:
None.
WHAT I LIKED MOST:
I like the dropping effect the poem gives.
SUMMARY: BRAVO!
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MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A poem about what it feels like to be alone. Free verse with Anaphora (the repetition of a word or group of words at the beginnings of lines).
SUGGESTIONS:
All through the poem I struggled with your grammar, if you clean this up I believe you would have a good poem here. One example: "Have you ever listen to a love song for a thousand times." This would sound much better like this: "Have you ever listened to a love song a thousand times". This should be past tense. You started the line with, "Have you" but the word listen is in the present. So use past tense, "Listened" And the word "For" is not needed in this sentence. You have sentences throughout that are like this.
WHAT I LIKED MOST:
I thought you did a great job with the Anaphora. I like the poem, it's just the grammar that slows it down. Like bumps in the road.
SUMMARY:
Excellent first draft. This poem has promise. God bless and keep writing.
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Part of the battle - a poem of hope and renewal. In this poem you are fighting the good fight against depression. I love poems that give hope as well as tell us of the disease we struggle with on a daily basis. Written in quartrains, with a rhyme scheme. It flows beautifully. BRAVO!
MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.
Overall Impressions:
This is free verse at its best. This poem is filled with metaphor,and symbolism. It just snowed here, and before I read this I was looking out the window at the snow, so the poem was even more vivid, if that is possible, to me. A magnificent write.
Suggestions:
none
What I Liked Most:
The metaphor. I love the comparison between the starkness of winter and our inner selves.
Summary: BRAVO! AUTHOR! BRAVO!
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Your poem is beautifully written and I can see that you have spent much time nurturing and creating this work of art. Your poem flows gentle like the stream, full of passion like the river, and is as deep and meaningful as the ocean. The symbolism and metaphor are wonderful. It is visual and filled with vivid images. I read the poem three or four times, and on every read I find a different jewel. This was masterfully done! I say BRAVO! AUTHOR! BRAVO!
Your poem is most assuredly thought provoking. From a commanding Buddhist to a Medicine Man to a businesswoman’s husband trying to get it right. I believe I could spend much time trying to understand the exact meaning of your poem (like the “fool on the hill going round and round”). Perhaps, that is exactly where we start (at least for me) I feel that I’ve spent my life like the “fool on the hill, going round and round”. It seems as though I’ve lived my life on the outside looking in. SEE - You got me going.
This is just one of many poems that interlock to create the theory of Multivalence. Knowing that the poem is just one of many that explain Multivalence, makes me curious about the remaining poems. I plan to take the time and read them together in the morning. I may not prescribe to your theory, but then again, I may. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I have read some of your work and was impressed enough to give it a whirl.
You have lived an impressive life, and have accomplished much. As I read your biography, the notion crossed my mind as to how hard it is for you to separate from the rigidity of Architecture and Security, to writing poetry as well as you do, or even finding the time. I am impressed. God Bless.
MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
I thought you did an excellent job with this free verse poetry. It flows very well, with a little rhyme and even some alliteration. Good visual images. I like this poem. It also alludes to something deeper, which, for me, gives it some mystery. Great job.
SUGGESTIONS:
"And though the truth (in) now painfully clear," Did you mean (is) here instead of (in).
WHAT I LIKED MOST:
The images of the flowing wheat fields.
SUMMARY:
Excellent poem.
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MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.
Overall Impressions:
First, I am a believer. I could tell a few stories of my own. This one was excellent. If it is fiction, it is fiction that could have and does happen all the time. You kept me on the edge of my seat through the entire read.
Suggestions:
none.
What I Liked Most:
The Mother believing her son and helping him.
Summary:
Great Job!
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MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.
Overall Impressions:
The content is emotionally powerful. Great metaphor. enjambment, caesura. Everything a great poem should have.
Suggestions:
NONE.
What I Liked Most:
I thought you did a great job (considering this is an acrostic) with your line breaks.
Summary:
You are a wonderful poet and should write more of it. BRAVO!
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MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.
Overall Impressions:
When I first started to read this, I thought to myself, I wonder what terrible experience I was about to hear - experiences we have all had. Instead, it turned out to be very lighthearted and fun to read. I had a good laugh myself. The story flowed very well, I did not get stuck anywhere, and was even hoping for more.
Suggestions:
I would make one suggestion, I'm not sure how it is done, I think it is the spacing preference within the edit page - but it is so close together, the sentences I mean, it made it a little harder to follow. I had to use my pointer to keep myself on the right line.
What I Liked Most:
The bag of hair! I won't say more than that, to ruin the story for anyone else who might see this and give it a read.
Summary: BRAVO! AUTHOR! BRAVO!
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MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Well, my friend, I would love to oblige you and give you the criticism you welcomed as a footnote, but instead I think I will stick to praise. This is a fantastic acrostic. Masterfully done.
SUGGESTIONS:
You have got to be kidding. No suggestions for this one.
WHAT I LIKED MOST:
I love this line: "Liltingly acoustical". Your muse was at its peak that day. I have never heard of a double acrostic called a mirrored acrostic before - I'm learning from you already.
SUMMARY: BRAVO! AUTHOR! BRAVO!
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