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1,013 Public Reviews Given
1,162 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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101
101
Review of I Was A Tiger  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A very good point of view of this tragedy, not only from the human perspective, but the animals as well. Good job. The rhyme scheme is good with perfect end rhyme, and a bit of internal rhyme as well. Very good caesura (the pausing or stopping within a line of poetry caused by needed punctuation). Overall, very well written.


SUGGESTIONS:
I think more internal rhyme would spice this poem up even more.


WHAT I LIKED MOST:
I thought you did a very good job with your rhyme, and rhyme scheme.


SUMMARY:
Well written, from the perspective of the tiger. Good job!

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102
102
Review of The Dream  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
WoW! What a wonderfully written short story. This was very visual. You did a wonderful job bringing me into this story. I was on the edge of my seat. I wish I could write this well. BRAVO!


SUGGESTIONS:
The only suggestion I would make (and I think this is more personal preference than anything else) would be to put the dream in italics.


WHAT I LIKED MOST:
The way this was written. I was able to read this straight through without a hitch. Because it was so well written I became engrossed in the story. The story itself was captivating - right to the very end. Masterfully done!


SUMMARY:
A wonderful, well written short story. You had me from start to finish. BRAVO! AUTHOR! BRAVO!

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103
103
Review of Three Senryu  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Again, Masterfully done. You have the form spot on and have stuck to the human nature of the senryu, rather than the physical nature of the haiku. Bravo!
104
104
Review of Three Haiku  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Masterfully done. You have the form spot on. Your syllable count is perfect. My favorite is "Soft Rain" - very visual. Good enjambment as well. Bravo!!!
105
105
Review of My Brother-in-Law  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a perfect Acrostic! The form and structure are perfect. I must also say that I am deeply touched. Thank-you from the bottom of my heart. I can see now, that this site, WDC, has brought us together as a family. We are a team, and I am proud to have you as not only a sister in-law, but as a friend as well. God bless, and Keep writing!
106
106
Review of Heat  
Rated: E | (4.5)
The content is excellent - good imagery and analogy. You have good enjambment, caesura, and end-stop. Wonderful poem! On structure, you have six syllables in line one, rather than five (a-ti-ny-lodge-pole-seed). Aside from that - good job!...
107
107
Rated: E | (5.0)
MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
This is a powerful, Thought provoking, work of art! I am impressed beyond words. This is a poem filled with hope, love, pain, fear and loss. It seems to touch on every emotion there is. It is a visceral poem, that wrenched emotions from deep within my subconscious. BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO!


SUGGESTIONS:
You asked for suggestions on punctuation. I am far from an expert on this subject, but this is what I would do: The first thing I would change is to not capitalize every first letter of every first line. I would only capitilize
where it is grammatically correct to do so.

FIRST STANZA: No comma after revealed, I would use enjambment here, (The most distinctive element that distinguishes poetry from prose is the line. By using the line breaks, the poet controls the pacing and rhythm of the poem. The line break may be at the end or pause in a sentence (end stop), or a sentence phrase may run over two or more lines (enjambment). By playing the line breaks against the sentences, the poet can control the flow and tension to provide a syncopated rhythm that brings life to the poem.)
"Born untouched in a world of revealed
fear that murders all sanity."

SECOND STANZA: No comma after confronted. I would use enjambment here.
"I want to be confronted
by this thing called suffering and fear."

No comma after recite.
"I want to speak of words and recite
with knowledge and judgment."

Though both these sentences have subject and verb, and could stand alone, I would use a comma here.
"I want strength to accomplish,
to do all I was meant."

Last line should be (than) rather than then. THAN: Rather than, (show difference or comparison) I am older than. Easier said than done.
""Determined", rather than "foolish.""

THIRD STANZA: I would not use a comma after "eyes" in the first line. Use enjambment here.
"I opened my eyes
and looked at all that I could see."

I would use either a semicolon or a dash after "sorrow"
"My eyes bathed in sorrow (;) or (-)
a blind man with no interesting glasses,
but still, I carried on."

FOURTH STANZA: Third line, no comma here, "footsteps", I would use enjambment here.
"It was then that I realized,
that as I walked on,
unknowingly, I walked in footsteps
where tricky winds had covered them up."

FIFTH STANZA After the word "judgment" I would use either a semicolon or dash here.
"Silence is what really makes judgment (;) or (-)
the naked body is already concealed."

Sixth and last stanza: I would not use a comma after "mind", use enjambment here.
"My puzzled mind
needed to be repieced."
Check on the word "repieced" I may be wrong, but it may not be a word. This line may need to be:
"needed to be pieced."

I would not use a comma after "same".
"I know I don't look the same
as I did when you left me,"

I would not use a comma after "minute".
"I would like to take a minute
to stand in front of you here."






WHAT I LIKED MOST:
The poem as a whole. This was masterfully written. If I had to pick one or two things, it would be: "Like a feather I fell,/ from the wings of my flight./ UN-needed, I was released,/ UN- noticed and unimportant,/ dropping to an unmerciful hell." And, "Without sight, we are all equal,/ and words are not needed to hear,/ for truth lies in our heart."
I could pick out sections of this poem that I liked until there was nothing left!


SUMMARY:
BRAVO! AUTHOR BRAVO! This is a work of art. You opened up your soul to the world and gave us what lies within your heart. Again, I say BRAVO!!!


*Note3*If you have any free verse (unrhymed verse) or blank verse (unrhymed verse written in meter) this is a good contest to try.*Note5*
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THE DUTCHMAN. PROUD MEMBER A1 WRITING ACADEMY
108
108
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A powerful poem about mental illness and the frustration that comes from not being understood. It was a captivating, emotional read. I thought you did a great job showing both sides of the frustration. Wonderfully done.


SUGGESTIONS:
I have only one suggestion. For something of this intensity, I wonder if it would be even more powerful with shorter lines. Taking what you have and dropping half the line down to make another line. You would only need to do this in the first stanza and half of the second stanza. Just a thought.


WHAT I LIKED MOST:
The POWER of this poem. You had me hooked from the first line.


SUMMARY:
Beautifully written. BRAVO!


*Note3*If you have any free verse (unrhymed verse) or blank verse (unrhymed verse written in meter) this is a good contest to try.*Note5*
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#1399938 by Not Available.



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THE DUTCHMAN. PROUD MEMBER A1 WRITING ACADEMY
109
109
Review of If Ever  
Rated: E | (5.0)
MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
The content of this poem, for personal reasons, is very powerful and poignant. It has a musical quality to it. Here is your rhyme scheme: /A/A, /B/B, (Chorus:/C///C//,) D/D/, /E/E, (Chours:/C///C//). You have four quatrains and two eight line stanzas. The first three quatrains have the second and fourth lines rhyming. The fourth quatrain has lines one and three rhyming. I did not stumble here. I thought it worked well.


SUGGESTIONS:
If I had any suggestions It would be to add punctuation for a more dramatic effect, but this is the authors preference. I would use just two periods in the chorus stanzas. One after the "Too" in the fourth line, and at the end of the stanza.
Quatrain number four works very well because you have given it dramatic pauses' with commas. Just add a period to the end. Quatrains one through three, were ever you think is needed. This poem also works well just the way it is. This is just my personal preference and observation.
I see nothing else that would improve this poem.


WHAT I LIKED MOST:
The chorus. As I stated earlier, this is a very powerful poem to me personally. It reminds me of a conversation I had with a little girl once. She was and still is my little girl, my daughter. This is a beautifully written poem. A poem from the heart.


SUMMARY:
This is a quality write! Great job. BRAVO! AUTHOR! BRAVO!

If you have any free verse or blank verse poetry, here is a good contest to try.
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THE DUTCHMAN. PROUD MEMBER A1 WRITING ACADEMY
110
110
Review of light  
Rated: E | (5.0)
MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.

Overall Impressions:
A beautifully written poem. For me, It speaks of the emotional clouds that can surround us during the holiday season. Then the renewel of the new year. the structure of the Witney was spot on.


Suggestions:
I have no suggestions.


What I Liked Most:
The poem as a whole. I also like the fact that you showed us what you did. Good Job!


Summary:
BRAVO! AUTHOR! BRAVO!

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THE DUTCHMAN. PROUD MEMBER A1 WRITING ACADEMY
111
111
Review of Addiction  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
I was immediately struck with the addicts overwhelming need here. The content was powerful, perhaps even more so for me, because I am intimate with this subject - the metaphorical comparison works very well here. I read this straight through to the last line without a hitch. Your rhyme scheme: aa/bb..cc/dd..cc/ee..ff/cc..dd/../gg.. worked very well.


SUGGESTIONS:
I have no suggestions for this poem... and I am usually full of suggestions.


WHAT I LIKED MOST:
The very last line! I felt it took a little turn here. I believe this rhyme is a vowel rhyme. It worked for me because it gives this poem and the TREE, as the last line stated, HOPE


SUMMARY:
A wonderful metaphorical analogy! (can I use those words together?) anyway, BRAVO! AUTHOR! BRAVO!!!

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THE DUTCHMAN. PROUD MEMBER A1 WRITING ACADEMY
112
112
Rated: E | (5.0)
MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
I think this is a very good introspection of ones self. The poem speaks of a mind filled with emotion, waiting to be expressed through the medium of writing. Great job... This poem was also filled with urgency. You did a very good job of conveying the immediacy of the moment. You also gave the poem closure, you had a resolution.


SUGGESTIONS:
I have no suggestions for this poem.


WHAT I LIKED MOST:
You obeyed no particular syllable count, but this poem still had good structure. Here is your rhyme scheme: /a/a../b/b../c/c../d/d../e/e../f/f../g/g.. This was done in seven quatrains. The poem had shorter lines which made it linear and added to the drama of the overall feel. Great Job!


SUMMARY:
A very inspirational poem. I say BRAVO! AUTHOR! BRAVO! God bless and keep writing!

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THE DUTCHMAN. PROUD MEMBER A1 WRITING ACADEMY
113
113
Review of I can Haiku 2.  
Rated: E | (4.0)
MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
The form is perfect Haiku. The content is ironic, which is more Senryu style. The Haiku is more descriptive of nature in some way. The Senryu is structurally similar to the Haiku, it differs from the Haiku by dealing with human nature rather than physical nature. The Senryu is usually ironic, or satiric in nature.


SUGGESTIONS:
Call this a SENRYU.


WHAT I LIKED MOST:
The ironic nature of the poem. Not being able to write the poem but doing an excellent job.


SUMMARY:
Aside from the name of the poem, I think it is structurally sound. And humorous. Great Job!!!

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THE DUTCHMAN. PROUD MEMBER A1 WRITING ACADEMY
114
114
Review of DRIFTWOOD  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Being an ocean person, I was transported back to the beach, walking with sand between my toes and watching the drift wood wash ashore. This poem was very visual for me. It brought back many memories. You have a good rhyme scheme and the poem flows well from start to finish.


SUGGESTIONS:
I have no suggestions for this poem.


WHAT I LIKED MOST:
The last stanza was my favorite. I loved the way your drift wood found a home and settled in content and, "asks not a thing more from you" Great job! Also, I love the color of the text. It is the color of seaweed!


SUMMARY:
Woderful, visual poem about the beach and drift wood. This poem left me with a special feeling. Thank-you.

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THE DUTCHMAN. PROUD MEMBER A1 WRITING ACADEMY
115
115
Review of old  
Rated: E | (3.5)
MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A poem about growing old or being old. This poem verges on being very good, but in my opinion, has a few problems.


SUGGESTIONS:
This poem does not work well without punctuation. There are a few spots that slow me down rather than increase the flow of the poem. The most obvious spot is the second line, when you repeat the word old it throws you for a minute because of the lack of a comma. Also the rhyme scheme which is: AA- BB- Cc- DD- //. The last stanza leaves the rhyme scheme flat.


WHAT I LIKED MOST:
I thought the linear stanzas worked well here, And the rhyme that is in the first four stanzas works well. The content is also enjoyable.


SUMMARY:
A good start to a poem which has great potential. God bless and keep writing.

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THE DUTCHMAN. PROUD MEMBER A1 WRITING ACADEMY
116
116
Review of Flight of Freedom  
Rated: E | (5.0)
MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.

Overall Impressions:
I thought this was a great little story. Because you are so descriptive, you made it clear from the start what was happening. I don't know the exact word for it...(Don'nt want to give anything away,) but I knew what was taking place. The imagery was great and the end of the story brings us back to something unexpected. Great job!


Suggestions:
I have no suggestions for this story!


What I Liked Most:
"For precious fleeting moments I was a sylph soaring through the balmy air, freed from the heft of oppression." This line becomes even more significant at the end of the story. Wonderfully done! I also like some of these words you use: Sylph...Thalassic...Quavered... Your making me smarter than I want to be. Good job!


Summary:
Wonderful little story. Bravo!


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THE DUTCHMAN. PROUD MEMBER A1 WRITING ACADEMY
117
117
Review of Longing  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR SHORT STORY, ESSAY, POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM. IN MY OPINION, IT IS JUST AS IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.

Overall Impressions:
Passion. Poignant. Powerful. I think this is wonderfully written. Read it through several times and loved it every time.


Suggestions:
I think the whole poem flows very well- but the last two stanzas seemed two flow even better. So I did a syllable count: 8788- 7788- 8888- 8888. Don't miss understand me- This is a GREAT poem! And because the syllable count is so close in the first two stanzas it is hardly noticeable. Just wondering if it could be even better with perfect four foot lines.


What I Liked Most:
The whole poem- this is a well crafted, and beautifully written poem!


Summary:
Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!


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THE DUTCHMAN. PROUD MEMBER A1 WRITING ACADEMY
118
118
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love these c-notes and will be using them whenever I can- thank-you. God bless and keep writing!
119
119
Review of A Sonnet in One  
Rated: E | (4.0)
MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM, AND IN MY OPINION, BELIEVE IT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
I think this is a good poem. I thought it lost it's flow a little because of the inconsistent rhyme scheme.


SUGGESTIONS:
Here is your rhyme scheme: (/ means no rhyme.) /b/b, cdcd, efef, //. There is no aa rhyme in first stanza and no rhyme in the last two line stanza. You certainly do not have to be consistent and can write this with any variation you choose- I just know for me, I get a little stuck on the read when that happens. It takes away from the flow.


WHAT I LIKED MOST:
"This heart has wretched and torn my soul asunder." Great line.


SUMMARY:
Overall, a very good poem! God bless and keep writing!

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THE DUTCHMAN. PROUD MEMBER A1 WRITING ACADEMY
120
120
Review of Forgiven  
Rated: E | (4.0)
MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM, AND IN MY OPINION, BELIEVE IT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Good poem. Well written, but the rhyme scheme does not stay consistent.


SUGGESTIONS:
I would lock the rhyme scheme down to a steady and consistent structure- this will give the poem a better rhythm. Here is your rhyme scheme: abab-ccdd-efef-ghgh-ijij-kkll-mnmn-oopp-qqrr-sstt-tt//-uvuv-wxwx-yyzz/. This is a rough break down. Do you see how you go from aabb-ccdd, but don't stay consistent with this. That's were, in my opinion, you lose your rhyme.


WHAT I LIKED MOST:
The message is wonderful! A little mini story leading to salvation.


SUMMARY:
Overall, very good write- just has some rhythm issues in my opinion. Great poem though! Good job! God bless and keep writing!

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THE DUTCHMAN. PROUD MEMBER A1 WRITING ACADEMY
121
121
Rated: E | (5.0)
MY NAME IS DUTCH AND I AM HONORED TO REVIEW YOUR POEM. I WILL GIVE YOU MY HONEST AND HEARTFELT OPINION. I BELIEVE IN THE RATING SYSTEM, AND IN MY OPINION, BELIEVE IT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING I WILL SAY. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ANY RATING ABOVE THREE STARS IS ABOVE AVERAGE.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
I have had this feeling before. Almost a melancholy, wanting to write, but can't kind of a feeling! You conveyed the start and triumphant finish of this experience very well!


SUGGESTIONS:
I have no suggestions for improvement!


WHAT I LIKED MOST:
"I listen to the thunder roll in the distance, and wonder does my tempest withdraw with it?" Beautiful line!


SUMMARY:
Wonderful poem about finding one's muse! God bless and keep writing!
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THE DUTCHMAN. PROUD MEMBER A1 WRITING ACADEMY
122
122
Rated: E | (4.5)
This poem has a good linear flow to it. Good rhyme and excellent rhythm- The content is interesting. To me it speaks of breaking the normal mold and reaching for the stars. Good job! God bless and keep writing!
123
123
Review of Summer  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautifully done- To write this at eleven is amazing! Have to rate this five stars for that alone- Great rhyme scheme and good rhythm! Good job! Bravo!
124
124
Review of Past Time  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I think you have created a wonderful rhythm with this rhyme scheme- and of course the content is one we agree on! Good job classmate! God bless and keep writing!
125
125
Review of Here I Lie  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like the linear effect here. I also like the lack of punctuation- Combined it gives the poem a downward collapsing effect. Almost as if lying down! Bravo! God bless and keep writing!
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