*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/brucef/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2
Review Requests: OFF
1,297 Public Reviews Given
2,363 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to read novels and biographies, so if I can review them at the same time, why not. My ratings are usually at the high end because I think if someone has taken the time and effort to write a large piece, it is an achievement. The review will give the opportunity to flag up typographic errors. I do not mark down ratings for these errors because they are easily fixed.
Favorite Item Types
Rhyming Verse. Novels and short stories.
Least Favorite Item Types
Non-rhyming poetry.
I will not review...
Erotica, Vampire and Wolf stories. Their stories are all very samey to me.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 -2- 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... Next
26
26
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Lacy dies as a result of her attack from Jim. I was not expecting that but it does add to the story at the cost of one of the characters. Jim was worried before about getting caught for the attack but he will soon have to worry about a possible murder charge. A good and interesting chapter. I noticed no errors or typo's.
27
27
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow, edge of the chair stuff. Maybe you do need to read the previous chapters to fully understand this. But to those that have this is such a brilliant piece of writing and almost impossible to put down before the end. A well-written chapter and I noticed no errors or typo's.
28
28
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
The suspense in this chapter is intense. Jim is in a panic and realises he would be in big trouble if the truth comes out. Gary and Cherie continue in their love hate relationship which I feel is a good part to the story, in my opinion anyway. Will the relationship continue after the show when there is no more reason to continue? Have to wait and see. Does Jim become violent again as his fears increase? Have to wait and see.
29
29
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Plenty going on in this chapter with three themes going on. The entertaining banter between Gary and Cherie continues. AL and Lacey are hard at work getting everything ready for the show. Jim is getting increasingly stressed thinking of Gary's act and makes a big mistake. I noticed no errors or typo's in this interesting chapter. I need to find out, of course, how Lacey is.
30
30
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I have not spoken much about the anomaly but when it appears the suspense is greatly increased. Thoughts and questions are in the readers mind and it is not clear yet if the anomaly is good or evil, although it leans more towards evil at the moment. Typo's noted: (take a shower.r5") ( her phone a(nd) leapt to her feet. ). Cherie might be getting a little drunk and I wonder if it leads to anything.
31
31
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Possible typo: Sher answered, “This is Lacy.” Now that is out of the way, let me say this is a cracking chapter. All the chapters have been good but this is my favourite. Amongst the finest I have read on my time on WDC. The show and the lead up to it was very entertaining and the comments by Cherie when Jim was caught out, was great and funny. Not often do I start laughing when reading but I could not help it when she called him that classic name. I might keep this chapter and read it again when I need cheering up.
32
32
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
We are getting nearer to the show and the suspense is building up. Jim is still under a false belief about Gary's skill. I did enjoy the chapter but I noticed the fiancé glitch three times: fiancthing, fiancwould and fiancand. Also, and just an opinion of mine which other readers may not agree with, the use of brackets. (Pause) and (Laughs). Seem to interfere and destroy the flow of the story. Nevertheless, this is an interesting, well-written and enjoyable chapter.
33
33
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
With a risk of repeating myself, I really am enjoying the situations and dialogue between the characters, especially Gary and Cherie. The dream is a great piece of writing. Sometimes dreams are added for no other reason but to bulk the story or to deny something that has happened. I Remember the TV series "Dallas". In this case, however, the dream fits in. I think Gary was shown to have a dream before. Yes, as a reader I thought at first that the dream was real and found it to be full of drama and suspense with maybe the thought of some naughty romance. Brilliant, and not at all a let down when it was revealed as a dream because it fitted perfectly within the story.
34
34
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I had to read the first bit twice because I was confused. Did Cherie's Mom pay for her ticket? This is a good chapter that moves the story forward. The interaction and dialogue between the characters is very good, as usual. Jim arrives by car and it seems as if his fear of the competition from Gary is getting to him. I noticed no errors or typo's.
35
35
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Jim comes across as a bit worried and I wait and see how desperate he becomes. The telephone call from Mercurio is well handled. Sometimes in fiction the calls sound a bit false but here it was spot on. At the Movie chapter I was not sure if Cherie was on the house phone or outside on her mobile phone until further down when she hung up. There is also a couple of typo's: sense, should be sense. and a missing closing speech mark at eight o'clock. Minor things will make it better for the next reader. We find Jim interfering with things which he shouldn't and seems to get transported. An unexpected and great part to the chapter. We finish with "The cabinet was closed and locked." What is going on? The reader (me) asks. Always a great way to end a chapter.
36
36
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A short but informative chapter that leads us forward. Mercurio is very interested in his task and I wonder if he will become a friend or a foe. Cherie always come across as a good character and this time is no exception; she is very likable in the story, so far. There is a missing close speech mark at: "Please do.
37
37
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
The chapter starts with a reference to Jim which is always interesting as to how he is getting on with his task to compete against Gary. It continues with Gary and his time in his workplace and the suspense is strong as the anomaly appears. This is balanced with a good piece of domestic time with Cherie. One of the last sentences needs an opening quote mark. Earlier: fiancyet. Not sure if this is a typo or a clever play on dialogue words.
38
38
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
As expected, another interesting chapter. Although it is fiction I get the feel that it is as if we are looking in to actual facts. I have not come across a single chapter in this work where it has not kept me fully interested and the ends always give me the need to read the next item. No errors noticed.
39
39
Review of Chapter 1  
Review by Bruce.
Rated: E | (5.0)
A good and interesting start to the story. It is well-written and I noticed no grammar or typographic errors. The characters are well-drawn and their names are easily pronounceable. The hook at the end is good and will prompt the reader to continue when the next chapter is presented. The visual presentation can be improved if you have a mind to do so. At the top of your work the gear wheel takes you to the edit tab which will display the edit line. If you select your work and select the 5 option it will increase the font size. At the bottom select advanced and then on paragraphs select double. If you try it I am sure you will be pleased with the effect.
40
40
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Well, what can I say? I take my previous Potter comment back. This is brilliant and having read what has gone before I should have known better. Yes, you should, I hear you say, like the girl said in "The Queen's Gambit." It is good to have Jim as a rival competitor which adds a lot to the story. Excellent chapter.
41
41
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I thought I would be in Las Vegas but I assume it was just the advance party. The banter between the characters seems to be the best bit, in my opinion, and makes for an very enjoyable read. Possible typo at "too much water under than bridge." The last bit, although keeping in with the theme of the story, seemed a bit Harry Potter to me. But maybe that is not a bad thing.
42
42
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
The interaction between the characters in this chapter is brilliant and I found it very funny and realistic. It is the type of writing that I wish I had written myself. We are off to Las Vegas and I wonder what will happen there. Jim seems optimistic but I wonder how or if he will pull it off.
43
43
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Brilliant start to this chapter and not as I expected. The chapter continues with the feel that these are real people and not fictional as the dialogue is captured perfectly. Jim realises that there may be problems ahead and that keep the suspense rolling along nicely. I noticed no errors or typo's.'
44
44
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
"dichotomy" You use words that show you have a good vocabulary, but if the reader has to often come out of the story to check the dictionary it could be a bad point. The last paragraph is good in that it show a normal part of life despite being a supernatural story. There seems to be a bit of a plot against Gary which adds to the story.
45
45
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Although Lecki has to comply to the university's instruction, he seems to accept it too easily without further protest. There is a mystery sighting again which adds greatly to the suspense. The mix up sending Gary into the passage is brilliant. Another great chapter and I look forward to more of this.
46
46
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Just managing to keep up with what is going on. The suspense intensify at the thought of a strange interference or apparition. And again there is strange goings on a Lacey's place. The two events make for an interesting thought that maybe the events are linked. But am I overthinking it. I must read on to see what is happening.
47
47
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I am wondering if I have missed something because I don't know who or what Doofus is. This is good, the science which is obviously fiction comes across as real which is a credit to you. Lacy's revelation at the end adds to the drama and prompts the reader to wonder how much significance, if any, it is to have on the story. I noticed no errors although I was a bit puzzled by the opening sentences.
48
48
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
The story moves on at the same high standard with good well drawn characters including a new one who may or may not have a bigger part to play. There is a good focus on the domestic side of things in this chapter which blends in well with the magic element. I noticed no errors and look forward to the next chapter.
49
49
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
The story continues to hold my interest and gives a great insight into the entertaining world whether factual or fictional. The characterisation remains good and the visual images in my mind are well presented. I have a couple of thoughts in this chapter. "Exhausted, Cherie she sat far audience right of the theater." This may be correct but I found it confusing and might need clarification. Also, the card trick. The pieces are laid like a puzzle with one extra but then the pieces are handed over as only two pieces with no notice of how this happened magic or otherwise. There is a typing error at: one hell of a resum/FONT> builder for you." This really is a brilliant story and I look forward to continuing.
50
50
Review by Bruce.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Again another well-written chapter with no errors or typo's noticed. This is a clever story and once I started to read the chapter I had to carry on to the end. The main character, Gary, continues to show concern. The end to the chapter is cleverly done and leaves the reader (me) with thoughts that Gary might have a rival for the place on the show.
495 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 20 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/brucef/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2