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Review of What a Goose Egg  
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Endless Enigma .
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of "Invalid Item"  .
I have just read your short piece "What a Goose Egg" , which I found when searching to review preferred authors and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion.


Overall Impressions: Corny, yes, but also cute. It was a short little piece that brought a smile to my face. Thank you for that.

Characters: I was happy that Leona found some happiness in the end. Sam, the grocer, also seemed like a nice man as well. Interesting characters and developed well for this short piece. I can feel her sorrow and I can feel Sam's need to make her smile again.

Setting: Well described. For such a small piece, I was right there with her the whole time.


Plot: Corny little tale of finding love in something unexpected and fun.


Favourite Part: Your ending made me smile and I was happy she had found a little happiness, too.


Suggestions: Only one thing stood out at me and that was "His smile would have melted hearts, but Leona's." This does not sound right to me. Maybe change it to something like - 'His smile would have melted most hearts, but not hers.'


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

This is a learning process signature.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi DJ. Venson .
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of "Invalid Item"  .
I have just read your poem "LIFE UNDER PRESSURE" , which I found when glancing over the Hubs list of reviews and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion.


Overall Impressions: Whoa! Powerful piece. I love this poem. You get the reader thinking and you hold them in the palm of your hand as they read the piece. The title had me wondering what it was about and I was blown away by the topic!


Characters: I realize this is a poem, and not a story but there is an element of a tragic tale told within the lines you weave. Well done. You feel the emotions of both of the characters.



Setting: I am in that hospital and that delivery room. Right there with the swirling emotions.



Plot: This poem weaves a tale with few words but with a huge impact.



Favourite Part: I love that you do not say who he chooses. Instead you turn it to the reader. Now that is impressive and amazingly powerful dragging the reading into the middle of the trauma and the tragedy!!



Suggestions: I have no suggestions to make. I was too moved by the end.



Additional Comments: Excellent. I am glad I took the time to read this piece. I will probably look for more of your work in the future.



I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

This is a learning process signature.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Lost Girl  
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Seffi .
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of "Invalid Item"  .
I have just read your short story "Lost Girl" , which I found when on the main page listing of things to review and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion.


Overall Impressions: Now this is impressive! You have a way with words that held me captive from the first sentence!



Characters: Wow. Well done. I can visualize them so clearly and love how you were able to dramatize them!



Setting: I love shows like CSI and that sort of thing. You did an excellent job of detailing the interrogation room and setting the feel in there.



Plot: Had me hooked. Wow not much I can say other than I loved it.



Favourite Part: The part about names being powerful - that was fabulous and you brought it full circle which gave me chills!



Suggestions: Only found on flaw and that was minor - broken should be broke in. Other that that. Great.



Additional Comments: You should have entered the contest! This is fabulous. A definite winner as far as I can see. I will be looking forward to reading more of your work. Definitely keep writing. You got some talent in those veins. Loved it!!!



I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

This is a learning process signature.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of IMPRISONED LOVE  
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi LivingWords .
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of "Invalid Item"  .
I have just read your short piece "IMPRISONED LOVE" , which I found when I was looking over the main page and was intrigued by your subject and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion.


Overall Impressions: Excellent piece with lots of potential. I can see you taking this further and drawing it out into something longer. I could feel your pain and the frustration of the time you have lost.


Characters: You define your characters as the narrator - as I do not want to assume it is you, yourself - and the man who has been incarcerated. Your thoughts and feelings are strong and defined, the man is more vague but he does not need definition. He is enough to be the one who has done this to you. Well done here I would say.



Setting: The setting is implied as the prison and later your home where things fall apart.



Plot: There is a story there - a kernel of one. I am intrigued.



Favourite Part: I love some of your language - "stitched in memory" is powerful.



Suggestions: Looking back at the top, I notice you have this as poetry - I do not think I would call it that - not sure what I would call it but, I see it as a kernel of something bigger. It could be developed into a short story. I can see the potential. Keep at it.



Additional Comments: Well done, I thought.



I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

This is a learning process signature.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of A.I. Music  
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi A*Monaing*Faith .
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of "Invalid Item"  .
I have just read your story "A.I. Music" , which I found when I realized you had written a contest entry for the Writer's Cramp prompt I too had attempted. I was curious about your piece and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. It is also my first attempt at reviewing using a review template.


Overall Impressions: I found your piece to be quite interesting. I am always amazed at the different stories and poems that form from one little prompt. Yours was well written and thought out.



Characters: I was interested in your characters. I did get a bit confused though when you would call one character by her full name Angelina and then switch it to the short version. Though I would have to say, when I first read Angey it read it as Angry - which I thought seemed appropriate - and had a good chuckle)
You did a good job of describing each of them and their relationship to one another.



Setting: I was able to visualize this and I thought you did a good job. I could see them sitting there on that bench watching her devour her pie.



Plot: Interesting take on the prompt - music as a medium of control. I am not so computer literate and some of your references through me, but overall I thought it was good.



Favourite Part: I like that they get up and have to move off so she does not see them spying on her. I also think it is funny that you have the music control her to eat a whole pie. Is she already fat? I got the impression, with her jogging, that she was health conscious but you also call her gluttonous.



Suggestions: I would only have to say that you do not change the names of the characters - either Angelina or Angey but not both.
I also wanted to know more about the couple's relationship.



Additional Comments: I thought you handled the prompt quite well and came up with an interesting story.



I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!

This is a learning process signature.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Love Despised  
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well written. It resonates for me in a way that brings back memories of unrelenquinted love in high school. Sorry I am not sure if I spelt that word right and I am not sure how to fix it.

I remember wanting to not obsess about someone and all you mention is so true - and so heartfelt - you can feel your agony at being in this position.

I like the unstructuredness of free verse - you ride it well and the poem speaks loud and clear.

Thank you for sharing it. I enjoyed reading it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I was intrigued and considering the other poetry of yours that I have read I have enjoyed I am back again.

I love what you have to say and how you say it. Free verse is really your thing - or one of your things anyway.

I do not suffer the bite of anxiety to the level it debilitates me but I have worked with students who struggle with it. Even the moments it does creep into my life resonate in your poem.

I love how you describe the anxiety that prowls through you life in the first stanza. That is the part that resonates with me.

I like the development of the poem, how the second stanza looks to find a way to control it. You taking charge.

The final stanza reaches for the light and the hope for the future.

Really well done. Thank you for sharing your piece. I enjoyed reading it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Journey to Live  
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love the repetition and the patterning. I had not realized on the first read that the last word of each set is the first word that gets repeated. Cool effect.

You stayed true to the essence of the poem and I think you nailed it.

It is like life in a nutshell - all we experience over our life times.

I enjoyed reading this poem. Thank you so much for sharing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow. Powerful piece.

There is so much to like in this. Overall the impression is one of haunting pain - wanting to say but not feeling heard.

If I had to pick a favourite stanza - it would be this:
You look, but do not see me
You touch, but do not feel
You hear, but do not listen
You take but never steal
It is that haunting feeling of not being appreciated or thoroughly KNOWN. The pain emanates from this verse and it resonates for me.

I like the images of words being precious cargo. That is potent.

Words described as snowflakes in the air, floating and melting - was another image I thought was lovely.

The rhyming pattern is well done, but I had one issue with 'I do not dare to share them' - reading it out loud helped me get a feel for the flow and it needed to be there I think it just had me momentary stumble.

I really liked this poem. Thank you for sharing it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Able  
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Wow that is pretty powerful stuff for 100 words.

I would say it is potent enough to expand on and turn into something intriguing. I am not a huge dark genre fan but I am challenging myself this month with tiny bits and poems. This is well done. I am not freaked out and that is good. My curiosity is peeked and I want to know more. It has the makings of turning into something bigger. The great 'what is' the IT?!

I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing your wee piece.


*Ghost**Jackolantern* A Halloween Review from "Invalid Item"  for our group Review Raid! *Jackolantern**Ghost*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of I am me!  
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I decided to peruse your portfolio because I enjoy the reading challenge and wanted to know a bit about you. Love your site. I will have to come back but I just wanted to sample something of your writing. I like what I see.

You in a nutshell? I doubt it - there are so many sides to all of us - this I am sure is only a small component to who you really are and all the hats you wear.

I thought it funny that you put lover in the stanza with Word Champion and Vice President - lovely fun! well done.

I have many roles as well. I will definitely have to think about my own. Some big, some small but all bits of the me that is me.

Thanks for sharing this Fran. I enjoyed reading it.


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Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is awesome. Thank you to everyone who organizes this.


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Review of Haunted Dream  
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow! Powerful piece that is well crafted.

I like to read poetry, but I am in no way a scholar of it, so please take my comments as only my mere opinion.

I felt your piece flowed very well. The images played in my mind, drawing me in.

I am glad it was only a dream. I am not a huge fan of scary stuff, but this is the month of October and the challenge is to review the more scary genres. I loved this. Thank you for not scaring me, but also making me think - that yes, I too would be brought to my knees if I lost the love of my life.

I really like the last stanza.

I enjoyed reading this poem. Thank you for sharing it.

** Image ID #1950189 Unavailable **


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Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow! That is a powerful piece. It held me transfixed. I am glad it ends with you 'standing solid on the shore'. A positive, strong ending to someone who has gone through so much.

I will have to read it again as there is so much emotion and potency to it.

I love the first two lines as well.

It tells its tale well and I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Steam  
Review by 💙 Carly
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well done. I loved the flow of your poem. The words followed the rise and fall of the vapour in a way that was peaceful and calming.

Excellent imagery. I liked the analogy of it being a beast trying to escape and then 'retreating slowly, obediently'
I also liked the image of the dancers and them flitting from one partner to another - like vapour - ever moving.

Thank you for sharing your poem. I enjoyed reading it.
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Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This line 'this poem depicts the need to put thoughts on paper, and how writing fills a void.' and the title captured me. I had to read this.

I like the repetition of the line 'Writing is an open canvas'

I like to read poetry but I am in no way a scholar - please take my thoughts as only my opinions.

After reading the first verse I expected things to follow that rhyming pattern - need and freed - but it didn't - Once I read it again I found your ideas over swayed my need for any rhyming pattern. I actually found I enjoyed the three verses that don't rhyme the same way to have power to them that does not need the rhyme.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Sandboxing Time  
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Interesting title. I've read it as Shadowboxing Time as well. Sandboxing - curious what that is?

Touching time - what would it feel like, how tangle would it be? To turn back time...

You have an interesting view of it - buy it? drive it? steer it close? dry it? hang it? dress it up in fancy clothes? I have never really thought of it that way. Makes me consider what I would do with it.

I like the repetition of the line - 'Suppose you could touch Time'

Love the imagery you create in the first stanza.
The second stanza has visceral images as well and I feel the twisting of my heart to the line 'smothering you with turbulence'

Though provoking concept. I enjoyed this piece. Thank you for sharing it.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I reviewed the first version of this poem and I liked it. I just reviewed the coming out of depression one - which was also very well done.

I noticed you made changes and I had to read and review again.
I think I like this version better - it is cleaner more potent in its imagery and its message. The fact that you moved the catatonic verse to the end works.

It has a much better flow and even though it is about depression, you do an excellent way of capturing the depth of it without dragging me down with you.

Thank you for sharing this second version. Your changes really improved the potency of the piece.


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Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I enjoyed reading this poem. I can feel you emerging from your darkness back into the light of the world.

Depression dulled all your senses and you have touched on sights, sounds and feelings. Yes, there is hope in this poem.

I read another poem not long ago about depression - I am not sure if it was yours - but it has the same feel. The poet said they were going to write follow -up. This resonates like that one - only this one is lighter - returning back to the light. Very well done.

Thank you so much for sharing this.


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Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Beautiful background. I especially like the poem When I say, "I am a Christian". Very lovely. Glad I took a peek.
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Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow. I really like this poem!

You reviewed one of my little poems for the Writer's Cramp so I thought I would stop by and peruse your collection. Quite impressive.

I picked this one as I liked the title: Breathing Artist Breath

I like how you describe how you don't muck about on your physical self, but use words to craft and create. We do use ourselves in our work, twisting it to suit the tale.

I love this stanza:
But I do take delight in donning dyed words,
Adjusting their texture and color for match,
And curling their frolic around my tall tales.

Creation is very apparent and done lovingly. I can see and touch those words of texture and colour. A sensorial explosion.

I absolutely love the analogy of playing with dolls.
Dressing them up with scenes and with purpose,
Breathing my breath in their lungs.

We are like gods - creating our own worlds - that is a powerful pull and I so love doing that too.

This poem is very good. I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing it.

Write On!


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for entry "Voice" 
Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Your Mr. Dudley comes across as very passionate. He was able to inspire in his own way. It seemed for you, he was able to inspire. Was his passion equally inspiring to the little bird or the blond boy...who knows. I like him. For those of us with writing in our veins we could be inspired as well.

You capture many characters within your short poem and I enjoyed that. Being a teacher myself, you hope to reach all your students and inspire them...but it does not always happen. Sparking a few - those are the nuggets of gold.

Well done. Thank you for sharing this poem. I enjoyed reading it.


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Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Very powerful piece. I feel your pain, the hopelessness is there. It circles around pulling you deeper.

The questions are there. The self doubt.

It is a well written poem. Very emotional. It pulls at me. I wish you well. I hope for you to find that 'forgiving light'. It has not burned out.

Thank you for sharing your poem. I enjoyed reading it, but I also need to go out into the light myself or read something more upbeat.


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Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Intrigued by the title. I do not normally read fantasy by this looked interesting..

I was not disappointed. Once I was able to get the flow of your story I was able to follow it. I like the concept - the story idea is very good.
The flipping between Sarah and Timpor through me a bit at first, but once I got your style I was fine.

I love the innocence of Sarah, the trust. It contrasts so well to the adults fear.

I really enjoyed this piece, particularly the part where Sarah introduces him to her family. I want to read more.

Thank you for sharing it.


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Review by 💙 Carly
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wow. Powerful piece.

It flows beautifully. I was there following you along.

Aging and growing old does not seem to bother the old person, they have got to the place where they know they are at one with the universe and will return to it - return to it as something else but still part of it. I feel the deep essence of this poem. Whether it is intended or not.

There is a peacefulness in his growing old. His coming to terms with it.

With these lines:
'Forty years left, maybe,
to reflect,
warn the other sailors,'
He is feeling his years - not quite come to terms with it. But as the poem moves on he does.

I like poems that uplift at the end - and this one does. Death is not the end - it is just a moving on - becoming part of the greater whole. And Father Sky is happy that he understands this.

I hope this review makes sense - I have a head cold.
I really liked your poem. Thank you for sharing it.


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