Most of us can really relate to this poem. I especially like the line "I must keep my chins up." A clever play on words that I almost missed. A good solid entry Julie!
Hunter you are becoming one of my most favorite poets. I like and admire pretty much everything about your poems and the way you write them. Even your brevity, to me is something to be admired. To say so much in so few words is a marvel unto it's self. A great entry!!
I really liked this Sharon. I think what really caught my attention was the two rhyming lines and then the third non-rhyming line in each verse which is where I tended to put the emphasis in each verse. If that's how you intended it to be read then it worked very effectively. If there was anything that seemed a bit off it was the rhyming in the fourth verse which didn't seem to match the quality of all the other verses. "classes" and "matters" seemed further apart than all the other fine rhyming. Probably just me, but you might want to give it a little thought. Again, probably just me since the poem is great just as it is. Just something to think about. I liked the way you wrote and I liked what you wrote and I think you're a gifted writer.
Dave, I liked everything about this lil' poem. It's short and sweet yet is very complete. I like poems that don't adhere to the ordinary rhyme schemes. It's refreshing. The only thing that gave me pause (and it's probably just me) is the line "like butterfly escapes cocoon." That line takes on a somewhat oriental cast in the enunciation of it. Seems as if "like A butterfly" or "like butterflies escape cocoons." Again, just probably me and it's a really good poem just as it's written! Would be a 5 with a slight change.
Outstanding poem Oldwarrior! I don't often see a poem that has such a smooth flow to it. It has all the good qualities of Tennessee Honey and feels as good on the palate. You're a very accomplished writer and that shows in this piece. Great write!
Very nicely done Horse luver! It's hard enough to write a good poem, but is harder still to incorporate a personal experience and still make it poetic! All the technical aspects are done to a T here and there's nothing to fault in this fine write.
A well written piece Julie! The rhyme is without fault and the rhythm is spot on. The poem while being all about you is not self centered as many pieces are. It has a nice sentiment that is comforting: that been there, done that quality without any pretentiousness. All good, technical and otherwise. Good job! Short yet sweet!
Well Bob, the first thing I'll say is that I can relate to this poem very well, being an ol' man (76 years) much given to pondering myself. This is a nicely descriptive, well rhymed write and shows that when some faculties decline, others come to the fore and yours is the ability to express yourself very well. I hope you write as descriptively about other subjects as well as you did with this one. Good Job! Appreciate ya"
Lifelessons I liked this very much. It has an easy grace that only a seasoned poet can achieve. The alliteration was used to just the right degree (not much nor too little). The pace and word choice is spot on. Short four line stanzas say a lot in just a few words. I would take from this poem that you're an accomplished writer, with most likely some (or a lot) of formal education. You write the way that I hope I also write: with brevity and feeling. Very good write. Enjoyed it very much. Appreciate ya' David O
Huntersmoon this is definitely one of the best conceived, clever and well written poems I've had the pleasure to read lately! You display a great deal of skill and craftsmanship. Me likee a lot!! Great write!
Nicely written Woodman! Your rhyme is good and unforced. Your rhythm is flawless too. I can't find a thing to nit-pick except the spelling of "rouse". Think you might want "ruse". Again, fine poem! I hope you get lots of hits, but if not, don't sweat it. Seems to me that many really good poems don't get the hits they deserve. Keep it up, You're a good writer with a lot of potential.
Dave, by the end of the first verse I was sure I wasn't going to like this one, but by the end I had caught onto and appreciated the meter and the rhyme.In other words I did a 180. If you wrote this in a minute, you sure did a heck of a job. Excellent lil' write.
I liked this write Fairport. It has a slightly old fashioned feel to it which compliments it's seasonal theme. This is one of those poems that I had to read several times to find and really appreciate it's rhythm. Very poetically written by someone who obviously loves to write about the seasons. You are undoubtedly a Nature lover, as am I.
Riss, I'm embarrassed to admit that I only read the first few stanzas of your poem before giving up. The genre is not one that appeals to me all that much. That said, I also am happy to say that what I did read was excellently worded, rhymed and written. and you are an exceptional poet and that I am definitely not in step with the times, so I know that the majority of readers are going to love this and that you're going to get (at least should get) a ton of hits. I'd like to see what you can do with other themes, since you did so well with this one. Outstanding write Riss. 5 star stuff!
Nice Isola! A life lesson very poetically expressed! I don't know anything about you, but think you're a mature writer who's been there-done that. Am I right? Good job! Nice bit of rhyme. It's a difficult theme to be original with, but I think you pulled it off very well, and I hope it gets the hits it deserves.
Your poem makes me want to try some of that acrostic stuff! It looks like fun. I loved the alliteration. Is that a requisite for a acrostic? An interest poem with a good choice of words. Nice job smiles.
Jace. this is a very good write, be it a poem or lyrics to a song. (to me all poetry is lyrics to a song unwritten) I like the way you composed it with the lines uniformly irregular. Two things you might give some thought to are: Position the "This for you" in the bridge in the same way you did in the other verses, and I would make the line "tells that we'll never part" to "Tells that we will never part" It works either way but seems to read a little better with that extra syllable in there. Actually you don't need to change a thing as this is great just the way it is. My opinions are just that. Pay them no mind, or give them some thought, It's still a very good write.
Nothing to dislike here Alexi. One of the shortest narrative poems I've come across so far, and it speaks to so many people!s(especially to me). I love food, I love short pithy poems, I like well done rhyme and I like FOOD! This a good write Alexi. Kudos
Helena this poem makes a reader work (which is a good thing) I had to read it two or three times to find the rhythm. I'm going to classify this as in the Nature genre, as I respect religious themed poetry I think there's too much of it and eventually It all sounds similar. This one doesn't suffer that fault, as I mostly saw Nature in itl It's written a tad archaically (which I like) and has a lot of curiously placed capital letters (no biggy) Overall I'd have to say it's almost excellent, and would be excellent if you fix the line "what dose" to "what does." (probably just typed too fast, right?) Good write! Far above average. You are a skillful writer Helena.
Outstanding write HuntersMoon! Words of wisdom and experience written with flawless execution. Skillfully done and a pleasure to read. (I'm glad you explained Blue Moon though, since it must be a regional brew)
Quite a good bit of writing for a teenager. (or for that matter many adult poets) Being that you wrote that well then I wonder how you write now and if you've changed and improved. (especially in your own estimation),
I'll take your word for the Dorsimbra being a new and exciting form Dave, and I liked this especially because it had pixies, August, woodland nymphs and mountain streams. Besides incorporating naturey things, this is written very well. Only one suggestion: Dump the picture! Those are some baaaad lookin' Pixies!
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