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Hallo und guten nachtmittag! Ich heiße Jessica and I'll be reviewing Lottery Ticket-Destination Imagination.
First Impressions:
This is a very interesting outlook on buying a lotto ticket and quite true. Haha, I remember my first lotto ticket. You have great imagery, though it was short. I like it a lot.
Mechanics:
I found no mechanical errors. Looks perfect to me.
Rating: ****
Final Impressions:
Keep up the good work and write on!
Hallo und guten morgen! Ich bin Jessica and I'll be reviewing SPREADING THE WORD.
First Impressions:
Oh man, this brings back memories. When I was a freshman in high school, my science teacher was an exchange teacher from England and he brought in vegemite; we didn't try it though, but it looked cool. You have awakened my senses to actually try it, especially with your descriptions and just how you write, makes my mouth water. You did a great job writing this. =]
Mechanics:
I found no mechanical errors. I really liked the flow and rhyme scheme... everything went well together, especially the way you played around with your words.
Rating: ****
Final Impressions:
This was great. Keep up the good work and remember to write on!
Hallo und guten abend! Ich bin Jessica and I'll be reviewing Pumpkin Jack.
First Impressions:
This is an interesting poem. I really like the flow and rhyme scheme because it adds to the lore of the tale. Good characterization; I felt like I know Pumpkin Jack personally and his disposition is believable.
Mechanics:
I found no mechanical errors. I like how you set this up into stanzas because it was easier to read.
Rating: ****
Final Impressions:
I really enjoyed this. Keep up the good work and remember to write on!
Hallo und guten morgen! Ich bin Jessica and I'll be reviewing Heart On The Floor.
First Impressions:
This is amazing and so sensual. With your imagery, it almost like I felt like I was in the room with this couple. It sends chills up my spine and this is just beyond words.
Mechanics:
I found no mechanical errors. I really like the ABBA format and how you set the stanzas up. It was very unique and it added to the message of Heart On The Floor.
Rating: ****
Final Impressions:
Very good. I really enjoyed this. Keep up the good work and write on!
Hallo und guten morgen! Ich heiße Jessica and I'll be reviewing SOMEWHERE BEYOND OUR DREAMS.
First Impressions:
Wow, this poem is amazing. It's simple, but the message is clear. You gave really specific details and I could really picture all of it. The free verse really makes the poem.
Mechanics:
I found no mechanical errors. However, >>So.............<<, cut out a lot of these eclipses... you only need three. Other than that, it looks good. I like how you set up into stanzas.
Rating: ***
This is great. Keep up the good work and remember to write on!
Guten abend! Ich bin Jessica and I'll be reviewing THE ONE WHO HOLDS THE FIRE.
First Impressions:
I really like this poem, though it is short, you don't spare us with imagery. I really like the message of this poem, especially with the simplicity.
Mechanics:
I found no mechanical errors. I think the rhyme scheme goes perfectly with the message.
Rating: ****
Final Impressions:
Keep up the good work and remember to write on!
Hallo und guten nachtmittag! Ich heiße Jessica and I'll be reviewing I'll Flap My Wings and Learn to Fly.
First Impressions:
This is a pretty poem and it is inspirational... I have been having rough patches for the past 6 years; I know exactly how this feels and you capture it well. Your imagery and flow is great too... something different.
Mechanics:
Please remember these are only MY opinions:
>>yoke<< yolk
Also, at the beginning of each stanza, make sure to capitalize the beginning word. Other than that, this looks fine.
Rating: ***
Final Impressions:
I find this poem brilliant. Keep up the good work and remember to write on!
Hallo und guten morgen! Ich bin Jessica and I'll be reviewing Among the Poplars.
First Impressions:
This poem is so beautiful; it reminds me of summertime at my friend's old house in the mountains. Among the Poplars has very vivid adjectives and you play well with the words to give the poem another level of meaning. I think the rhyme scheme that was chosen works perfectly.
Mechanics:
I found no mechanical errors. I liked how you set the poem up and formatted; made it easier to read.
Rating: ****
Final Impressions:
As I said, very beautiful. This poem makes me wish that is was summer again and my friend lived in her old house; times were simple then and this poem brings it out. Keep up the good work and remember to write on!
Guten morgen! Ich bin Jessica and I'll be reviewing Late Night Lover.
First Impressions:
Wow, this is very lusty, especially with the images that were created. O___O It's not bad, but a little wordy... remember show not tell. The AABB rhyme scheme works well with this poem.
Mechanics:
Keep it single spaced... it would look better. Other than that, mechanics looks fine.
Rating: ***
Final Impressions:
Welcome to Writing.com! You'll love this community. Keep up the good work and remember to write on!
Guten morgen! Ich bin Jessica and I'll be reviewing Running Away.
First Impressions:
This is a very interesting poem; it's like a soliloquy about an ending and trying to find one's way. Though you had no set flow, I like the erratic behavior of this because it really feels like I am running away from something (which in real life, I am).
Mechanics:
I actually found no mechanical errors, but I think you should proofread this one more time, a few parts sounded choppy, but that could just be me. I liked how you broke this up... made it easier to read and follow.
Rating:{/b] ***
Final Impressions:
Overall, I thought it was enjoyable and it made me think. I think if you proofread it one more time, you can think of something else to put in as well. Keep up the good work and write on!
Guten abend! Ich bin Jessica and I'll be reviewing Untold Love.
First Impressions:
This is better than the love poems I can write. Though, it needs a bit more on imagery, but to each his/her own. I like the free verse and I think it's perfect for the subject of love. Overall, this is a pretty good poem, especially for cards.
Mechanics:
>>Many times I have tryed<<
Many times I have tried
Other than that, mechanics look good.
Rating: ***
Final Impressions:
As I said, this isn't a bad poem; it just needs some more work. Think of some more ways which you can express love to a person (that's just my opinion though...). Just remember to keep writing on!
Guten nachtmittag! Ich bin Jessica and I'll be reviewing Snow World.
First Impressions:
Wow, this poem is pretty cool. I really like the imagery you put into this, it gives the poem a lot of depth too, especially with the flow you used.
Mechanics:
I found no mechanical errors. It looks perfect to me. I like how you put this into stanzas; made it easier to read.
Rating: ***
Final Impressions:
I think I'm going to check out that contest. Good luck and remember to write on!
Guten morgen, Kiya! I'll be reviewing your short story The K-Rations.
First Impressions:
WOW! This story is amazing, are you sure you weren't with this platoon? =] With your attention to details and characterization, I felt like I knew your characters personally and like I was on tour with them. You capture the time period very well, too. I like your use of Japanese, that makes it even more convincing.
Mechanics:
I found no mechanical errors. I like how you set up The K-Rations because it shows the passage of time and it was easy to follow the different points.
Rating: ****
Final Impressions:
You really need to write more stories like these. =] I really enjoyed it and I could tell you put a lot of research into The K-Rations. Keep up the good work and remember to write on!
Guten abend! Ich bin Jessica and I'll be reviewing I am Other{/u}.
First Impressions:
This is an interesting poem, especially with how it was thought up by. I like your imagery and the substance... it really is the question we humans have about ourselves.
Mechanics:
Is rapine supposed to be raping? I know rapine is supposed to be plunder... but I don't know, just didn't fit. Other than that, it looks good.
Rating: ***
Final Impressions:
Very good job. Keep up the good work and remember to write on!
Guten morgen! Ich bin Jessica and I'll be reviewing He Left Me On the Shore.
First Impressions:
This isn't bad, it has some nice imagery and I really like the emotions involved in He Left Me On the Shore... I could really feel this, like I was experiencing it.
Mechanics:
This isn't in poetry format... it's in prose format. I also found a lot of repetition and words that didn't need to be there.
>>He left me on the shore. He said he had loved me but no more. The love we once cherished is now in the grave. Our love perished and was replaced by a suffering-wave. Life has put me through much pain; I would be fool if I love again.
I gave him my heart. I gave him my soul because, I was him and he I was. I dreamt of the day where I would look at his face,my soul would leave me but my heart would surely stay in its place. Love is of heaven. Lucky to whom it was given. Parting does nothing but destroy , something in us of hope and joy.
Our story ended this month. Time will talk about it in decembers and I will remind if not remembers, that it wasn't we couldn't get along; our love itself was based wrong.
We parted...clear the reason why. He never loved me neither did I.<<
He left me on the shore, Said he had loved me but no more.
The love we once cherished is now in the grave,
Our love perished and was replaced by a wave (suffering makes it too long and unncessary).
Life has put me through much pain;
I would be fool if I love again.
I gave him my heart; Gave him my soul because,
I was him and he I was.
I dreamt of the day to look at his face, My soul would leave me; My heart would surely stay in its place.
Love is of heaven. Lucky to whom it was given.
Parting does nothing but destroy, Something in us of hope and joy.
Our story ended this month;
Time will talk about it in Decembers And I will remind if not remembers, That it wasn't we couldn't get along; Our love itself was based wrong.
We parted...clear the reason why.
He never loved me neither did I.
Other than that, it looks good.
Rating: ***
Final Impressions:
This is a very nice poem, a little sad, but you convey a lot of good points. Just fix it up a little, as I suggested above (just remember those are my opinions and you don't have to take them). Keep writing!
Guten morgen! Ich bin Jessica and I'll be reviewing The Funeral.
First Impressions:
Wow! The Funeral is powerful and gripping. It felt like I know your characters well and I was part of the family, especially apart of the pain they were feeling; good characterization. I also liked the imagery and could picture everything matter-of-factly. I was really surprised by the end.
Mechanics:
I found no mechanical errors. I liked how you broke up paragraphs to make it easier for reading.
Rating: ****
Final Impressions:
You hooked me until the end; nice job. Keep up the good work and remember to write on!
Guten abend! Ich bin Jessica and I'll be reviewing The Path She Offered I'd Take.
First Impressions:
I thought this was very interesting and you don't hold back on imagery and details. I could see this as if the two people were right in front of my eyes. I also love the word choice and how you play with them; adds more depth.
Mechanics:
I found no mechanical errors. It looks perfect to me.
Rating: ***
Final Impressions:
Very seductive poem. Keep up the good work with your attention to details and remember to keep writing on!
Guten morgen! Ich bin Jessica and I'll be reviewing Laughing And Screaming.
First Impressions:
I know first hand how this is... I'm depressed more of the time than manic, though... but it really does get frustrating. Your poem really outlines that, especially with the vivid imagery (Jekyll and Hyde). I also like your word choice; it adds to the poem even more.
Mechanics:
I found no mechanical errors. I like how you put everything into stanzas; made it easier to read. I also like how you centered it; made it different.
Rating: ****
Final Impressions:
I'm glad you wrote this Very rarely does one write about being bi-polar. I applaud you for this. Keep up the good work and remember to write on!
Guten morgen! Ich bin Jessica and I'll be reviewing CRITIQUE (TRUE STORY).
First Impressions:
This is very interesting. Though it is short, you did a great job telling the story and with a lot of detail. I could picture this and it reminded me of Gretchen Wilson's song called All Jacked Up. At the end you gave an important lesson and it touched me... very good job with the rat description.
Mechanics:
Don't censor... just say the f word flat out. We're all adults here. =] Other than that, it looked perfect and I appreciate your spacing -- easier on the eyes.
Rating: ***
Final Impressions:
I can't wait to read more. I really enjoyed this piece. Keep up the good work and remember to write on!
Guten nachtmittag! Ich bin Jessica and I'll be reviewing Fallen.
First Impressions:
This poem is amazing, with all the details and imagery, you do not leave me guessing and you don't leave things untied. I could sense everything you were talking about and I like the lesson you include. Very beautiful.
Mechanics:
I found no mechanical errors. This is perfect and I like how you break into stanzas. I also like the free verse method, it was perfect for what you are trying to convey.
Rating: ****
Final Impressions:
Congratulations on the publish! I can't wait to read more of your work. Keep up the good work and remember to write on!
Guten morgen! Ich bin Jessica and I'll be reviewing I Remember.
First Impressions:
Awww... this struck me and I sort of cried. You really capture disappointment well, especially of a relationship gone sour. I have written (and keep editing) a poem similar. It really is such a sad thing. Anyway, I like your imagery and it flowed nicely.
Mechanics:
I found no mechanical errors and I like how you broke your poem into stanzas. Centering it also gave the poem an unique effect.
Rating: ***
Final Impressions:
Nicely done; keep up the good work and remember to write on!
Guten morgen! Ich bin Jessica and I'll be reviewing The Lighting of This Candle{/u}.
First Impressions:
I applaud you for this poem. As a fanatic of military history (and history in general), you captures the spirit of war on the opposition side very well. The desolation and despair brings me back to World War I Europe, so sad. I can actually cry to this poem; very few can make me cry. You also have a nice nuance of words, which gives the poem even more depth.
Mechanics:
I found no mechanical errors, everything looks perfect. I also like how you broke this into stanzas, made it easier to read. Also, a nice job sticking to the AABB format.
Rating: ****
Final Impressions:
Very good job; nicely done. Keep up the good work and remember to write on!
Guten morgen! Ich bin Jessica and I'll be reviewing Life's Short.
First Impressions:
This reminded me of a piece I have read by Jonathon Edwards. It's very interesting and makes the person reading this think about the life they are living. I really like the imagery you used and the AABB rhyme scheme. It works with the poem and really adds depth to what you are trying to convey.
Mechanics:
I found no mechanical errors. I liked how you broke Life's Short into stanzas; it makes it easier to read.
Rating: ***
Final Impressions:
Again, you have a lot of beauty to your work. Keep this up and remember to write on!
Guten morgen! Ich bin Jessica and I'll be reviewing [u}Across The Universe.
First Impressions:
Wow, this was a really amazing poem. I loved your imagery because I felt like I was the actual girl inside your story... each blow she took, whatever was done to her I could feel. It left chills up my spine. I also liked how you played with your words and the rhyme scheme. The style added to the flow, which made your story even more complex. You did a really nice job.
Mechanics:
Please remember these are only MY opinions, so feel free to do whatever you want.
I thought this could have been changed:
>>Can ever I leave this dark place? <<
Can I ever leave this dark place?
To me that sounds better. Other than that, I found no mechanical errors. I also liked how you broke the poem into stanzas, it made it easier to read. Across the Universe was perfect.
Rating: ****
Final Impressions:
You have a very impressive style. I can't wait to read more. Keep up the good book and keep writing on!
Have a good day!
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