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476 Public Reviews Given
477 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Diwali  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.5)
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IE here with a review of "Diwali

First impression:

This is a well-written poem in a format I’ve not heard of. I did look up Naga Uta, then went back and counted syllables!

Well done to follow the format and visualize for us the celebration of Diwali.

Favorite bit:

Rice flour footprints
shimmer golden all the night

Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Writing*I would capitalize the “d” at the beginning of this line to be consistent.

dyas welcome Lakshmi,


*Writing*I would suggest you increase the font size. Not only for readability but for visual aesthetics.

In summation:

Lovely poem. I’m glad to have had the opportunity to read it.

Thank you.

*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*

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2
2
Review of Tough Love  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.5)
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IE here with a review of "Tough Love

First impression:

This is a well-written poem about a subject that is…not happy at all! 😊

Tough love is a tough subject to tackle. You’ve represented it here accurately, with a satisfying spin on it that makes it almost cheerful to talk about, if not live through.

Favorite bit:

Tough love for kids
Is a raw, tragic mess
For it ruins our bids
For any true happiness…


Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Writing*In this line, I would add a comma after “kids”

That we kids proud and strong,


In summation:

This poem has ended up being kind of a trigger for me. Ah well. As you stated, it’s something we somehow survive.

Thank you.

*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*


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3
3
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.5)
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IE here with a review of "Understanding a Sailor

First impression:

This is a comprehensive telling of what it’s like to be a Sailor, written by a Sailor. Firsthand knowledge trumps all.

What is clear to me is the brotherhood you share with your fellow service men and women.

Favorite bit:

I particularly like the honesty in your piece. It’s not all sunshine and roses, but neither it is all doom and gloom. Love and hate are two sides of the same coin.

Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Writing*In this line, there is an extra space befor the “h” in “branch”

We speak highly of our own branc h of service and poke fun at the other branches.

*Writing*I would suggest choosing a larger font for easier readability.

*Writing*Consider also using a starting “We” instead of repeating it with every line. The “We” could be in even larger, bigger font. Just something to think about.

*Writing*I would suggest you consider breaking this into sections. Leaving it all as one big paragraph doesn’t give the reader a chance to absorb the impact of some of your statements.

*Writing*Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling: None noted.

In summation:

Thank you for your service.

*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*


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4
4
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
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IE here with a review of "Donald Trump completes mandatory

First impression:

Your essay is a factual account of the occurrences of the presentencing hearing. It’s well written and flows well.

Favorite bit:

I particularly like that your accounting sticks to the facts. There is no slant, one way or the other (at least not that I could detect).

Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Writing*The title is incomplete. Did you run out of characters? Perhaps find some way to shorten it.

*Writing*Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling: None noted.

*Writing*I would suggest enlarging the font size for readability.

In summation:

In these days of overdramatic finger-pointing, your essay was refreshingly neutral.

Thank you.

*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*


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5
5
Review of Ripple Effect  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
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IE here with a review of "Ripple Effect

First impression:

Now here’s some prose I can sink my teeth into!

There is so much tension between these two on a seemingly fated trip that appears to be the end of things, rather than the beginning or even the middle.

We don’t know where they are in this relationship, or how many months/years they’ve been together. I like that I don’t know. My imagination can fill in the blanks.

Favorite bit:

You think we should drive on.
I think it too late to get home tonight.

Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Writing*Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling: None noted.

In summation:

I’m happy I stumbled across your poem. It’s sparked a much-needed curiosity in me.

Thank you.

*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*



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Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
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IE here with a review of "there will be another tomorrow

First impression:

I think you can take the disclaimer out. You’re very much a poet.

I’ve never once (to date!) written a rhyming poem that I didn’t stomp into non-existence.

A good poem, to me, needs a message. If it rhymes well and contains hope, then it’s a good poem.

Favorite bit: This was tough as I liked all the bits!

This night will soon wear away,
And there will be another tomorrow.

Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Writing*Excellent word choices. Everything flows well. Bonus points for making me look up a word (faro) and then decide how you meant it in context. That was clever.

*Writing*Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation: none noted

In summation:

I’m happy I stumbled across your poem. It’s one I’ll print out and read again and again because I needed to hear just this message as a reminder that all of this is just temporary.

Thank you.

*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*


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7
7
Review of The Neighbour  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.0)
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IE here with a review of "The Neighbour

First impression:

There is beautiful imagery in this short piece.

Music, and the musician who is the vehicle through which music expresses, is endless. Endlessly exciting. Endlessly meaningful.

We get a good idea that this neighbor of yours holds the reins of music loosely in his hands and lets it do what it will, to soothe or savage those fortunate enough be within listening range.

Favorite bit:

In my mind he is a man whose soul escapes to paints moments in time.


Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Writing*There is a musician a couple of houses down who tells me of love stories and epic battles.
Is he telling you love stories and epic battles through his music? Perhaps specify that here.

*Writing*In my mind he is a man whose soul escapes to paints moments in time. Here, I suggest removing the “s” at the end of “paints,” and adding a comma after “mind.”

*Writing*His instrument is a violin and his music is an exquisite potion. Lovely just as it is.

*Writing*I imagine him as a montage of beauty and betrayal, anticipation and fate, wrapped in a heartbeat and bones. LOVE the first part of this sentence. What would be gained by amending the last words to “a heartbeat of bones?” I read this line several times and kept coming up with “of” instead of “and.”

*Writing*I hear him become his instrument as emotion fills the space between us. This is good as is. I get the impression of he and the music expanding and filling the surroundings. Becoming larger than just a simple body and a simple instrument.

*Writing*His entire existence mixed with exciting crescendo and devastating diminuendo. To me, I think you could add the word “is” after “existence.” Otherwise, it reads as an incomplete sentence.

In summation:

This is a good example of good and sometimes great words put together in a pleasing manner. I urge you to continue to hone your work. It will be well worth it.

Thank you.

*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*


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8
Review of Miss Me  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Elatedie here with a review of "Miss Me

First impression:

This is a beautiful, heartfelt tribute to your mother. I am sorry that your mom passed away. My lovely mother passed just over a year ago. Your poem touched me.

Favorite bit:

And the sun has set for me.
I want no rites in a gloom filled room,

Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Writing*I suggest ending this line with a question mark rather than a period.

Why cry for a soul set free.


*Writing*Consider making the font larger. This review, as an example, is written in font size 4 Verdana.

*Writing*I would also suggest you limit your usage of ellipses to three dots and your exclamation points to just one.

*Writing*At the very ending line there is a hanging " mark.

In summation:

Grief is a terribly wondrous thing. We get to remember our loved ones and, if we let them, they will guide our way.

Thank you.

*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*


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9
9
Review of Unstoppable soul  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Here is a review of "Unstoppable soul

First impression:

You’ve done a masterful job with this poem. Not only do I admire that it rhymes, but there is such power in your imagery.

Favorite bit:

You are the storm, that shatters the status quo,
A force of nature, that makes the impossible go.

And

Your unstoppable heart, is a work of art,
A masterpiece of courage, that beats in every part.

Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit. Your writing is so strong. I see a few places to enhance that, from my POV

*Writing*Consider changing “fierce” to “fiercely. “Your heart beats fiercely,…”

Your heart beats fierce, like a drum in the night,


*Writing*I’m not an expert on rhyming poetry, but the rhythm of your stanzas stopped me in two places. You could possibly change “ashes” to “ash”

Your spirit unbroken, like a phoenix from the ashes,
Rising higher, with every attempt to dash.

and “through the darkest of places” to “through the darkest place.”

Your soul is a flame, that flickers with grace,
Guiding others, through the darkest of places.

This would preserve the integrity of your rhyming format.

*Writing*Lastly, consider removing “So” from the beginning of this line. Removing it makes the line stronger, making it almost a commandment!

So keep on rising, like a dawn in the sky,


*Writing*Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation: none noted.

In summation:

Inspirational poetry is what I like to write. And to read. I very much liked this poem of yours.

Thank you.



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10
10
Review of The Trumpet  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Here is a review of "The Trumpet

First impression:

This is a cute short story. I wondered until the very end where the trumpet ended up. My feeling is that Mom will always be a little suspicious of Dad, that he had something to do with the disappearance of the noisemaker. Good build up and suspense. And a totally surprise ending!

Favorite bit:

“Granted, but he wanted so much to have a musical instrument and the internet said a trumpet was a good starter.”

Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Writing* Merely for the sake of aesthetics, I would wish this to be in a larger font.

*Writing*Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation: There are several instances where ellipsis are used where I don’t think they need to be.

I found two definitions of ellipsis usage that apply as follows:
An ellipsis can indicate hesitation
And an ellipsis can be used to represent a trailing off of thought.

Keeping those two definitions in mind, I would suggest you consider replacing the ellipsis marks where you use them at the end of the sentence in the following:
He does leave it around but it’s big enough that it should be easy to find…”
I guess I better go help…”
We’ll get you another, or maybe a guitar this time…

In summation:

You know you’re an annoying trumpet player when the mice devise a way to hide it from the family!

I appreciate the opportunity to review your work.

Thank you.

*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*



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11
11
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Here is a review of "To WDC's Ninth Birthday

First impression:

I love clever wordsmithing and always enjoy a good limerick. This is a good one!

Favorite bit:

With delight, I indite


I love learning new words 😊

Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Writing* Merely for the sake of aesthetics, I would wish this to be in a larger font.

*Writing*Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation: none noted.

In summation:

I suck at writing limericks, but I did enjoy reading yours.

Thank you.

*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*
12
12
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Here is a review of "We are like leaves in the wind

First impression:

Inspirational poetry is my favorite type of poetry. Both to read and to write. Your poem inspires. The lesson is there for us all. We may bow and bend because of the wind, but we will not break.

Favorite bit:

You do something embarrassing
The wind rushes over you, pushing you backward
Back to where you were before

Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Writing*Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation: none noted

In summation:

I liked your poem very much and appreciate the opportunity to review it.

Thank you.

*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*

13
13
Review of Passing Me By  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Here is a review of "Passing Me By

First impression:

This poem is well-written and obviously well thought out. You’ve used the required words to great effect. I’ve been stuck on a number of freeways during rush hour; I can relate!

Favorite bit:

Give me open skies,
With a view that goes on and on;

Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Writing*I keep coming back to this line,

Horns honking permeate the air.


While it is correct, I keep thinking that it’s the sound of horns honking that would permeate the air, which would make an edit like this: “The sound of honking horns permeate the air.” Too long? Anyway, I wanted to point that out to you.

*Writing*Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation: none noted

In summation:

I liked your poem very much and appreciate the opportunity to review it.

Thank you.

*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*



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14
14
Review of Doggone Limerick  
Review by IE
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Here is a review of "Doggone Limerick

First impression:

I love clever rhymes/limericks! This one is with a twist, as you had to hide the word “love” within the rhyme. You did that very well—three times!

Favorite bit:

All of it. I’ve read it now a few times and each time it made me smile, same as the first.

Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Writing*Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation: none noted

In summation:

I suck at writing witty rhymes. But I don’t suck at enjoying them. Happy to have stumbled across yours.

Thank you.

*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*


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15
15
Review by IE
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Here is a review of "Love me or hate me

First impression:

This self-help prose is relatable, as anything categorized as self-help should be. You are making your unapologetic stand. Good for you.

Favorite line:

Love me or hate me my imperfections are sharper than a needle, brighter than botax.


Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Writing*Since your prose is only five lines, I would suggest you increase the font size.

*Writing*For consistency, either leave all instances of “I” capitalized or all lower case.

*Writing*In this line, I would add a semicolon after the second “am”

Love me or hate me, I am who i am there's no changing who i am.


*Writing*In this line, consider adding something before "true. Perhaps “Love me or hate me, I am not perfect, that’s true” or “Love me or hate me, I am not perfect, it’s true.” The way it currently is written with just the comma is confusing to me.

Love me or hate me I am not perfect, true.


*Writing*Correct the spelling: botax should be “botox”

In summation:

I appreciate the simplicity of these declarations and your firm stance.

Thank you.

*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*



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16
16
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Here is a review of "The A-Team Cake and Buster Dog

First impression:

I love that this is a true story. The birthday boy! The dog! All come together for a thrilling tale of birthday mishaps and rescues.

Favorite line:

Marsha, casting a sidelong glance and a wink at me, told the lad, “Oh, this is a very special-order cake, so you’d better have your mother call me.”

Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

Your story is well-written. Everything flows really well all the way through. My suggestions here are only minor:

Remove the comma here: “my wife Marsha, and I”
Place a comma after “T” here” “alias “Mister T” plus”
Remove the hyphen here: “china-hutch” as china hutch is two words
Place a comma after knife “a knife she cut a”

In summation:

This is a really fun re-telling of true events. I appreciate the opportunity to review it.

Thank you.

*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*


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17
17
Review of A Roly-Poly Life  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Here is a review of "A Roly-Poly Life

First impression:

Roly-polies as a life lesson! Love how you brought this story together, gathering from Grandma’s wisdom and bringing it forward into your own life. It’s a lesson and realization we all can learn from.

Favorite lines:

But I remembered the smile on her face as she wisely proclaimed, "When you're older, you might just discover that the things that you've just squeezed into your life when there was little time left and you've been really tired, might just be the passions you've ignored."

Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Writing*In this sentence, I believe it should be “everyday”

often came from every day experiences


*Writing*Here, I might consider taking out the word “making”

which I've never mastered making


*Writing*Since the quotation starts in the middle of the sentence, I believe “When” should not be capitalized. I could be wrong, but it stuck out and I wanted to mention it.

wisely proclaimed, "When you're older,


*Writing*And in this case, I believe “leftovers” would be the correct usage

left overs I might have in my life


In summation:

There is wisdom from our elders, if we but take the time to listen. Thank you for sharing this story. It was my privilege to review it.

Thank you.

*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*


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18
18
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Here is a review of "Small things to find

First impression:

This poem, while simple and endearing, holds a much larger message for the reader.
We need reminders that there is hope and that all will (eventually) be well.

Favorite line:

Tape love notes to trees in the dead of night


Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Writing*Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling: there is a misspelling here. It should be “deep-set”

Rid them of the dread that has been deap-set within them


*Writing*While I love the imagery of the notes on the trees and the pennies on the sidewalk, I can’t quite bring myself to love the pieces of pottery. Upon first reading I thought “Ouch! People could cut themselves!” Your poem begins with this stanza, so I challenge you to find something instead of pottery. What could we throw in the ocean? Gathered shells? I always look for really unusual or beautiful shells when I walk along the shore. Or perhaps messages in bottles?

In summation:

When we look outward and want the best for others, our world expands. May we all find Small Things that make us smile.

Thank you.

*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*


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19
19
Review of In His Time  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Here is a review of "In His Time

First impression:

This prose on meditation and communing with God in your own way is well-written and well-thought out. It emphasizes why you meditate, why you pray, and instructs on what we can expect from a practice such as this.

What I liked:

There is a peaceful embodiment of yourself when you sit in God’s silence. I feel that coming through your words.

This line embodies that:

“He speaks to me through quiet times, through His Word, through the people He puts in my life and through circumstances”

Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Writing*Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling: None noted.

In summation:

Glory Be!

Thank you.

*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*



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20
20
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Here is a review of "Dating 10th Anniversary

First impression:

This short story is a sweet snippet from life. From the early days when both of you were so tentative with each other, until now, when you talk about a hopeful forever.

What I liked:

The story engendered good feelings. There’s a stability in the telling.

This line embodies that:

“Over the years, that trusty shoulder has been my headrest in a movie, my posing spot for a selfie. My pillow through long nights and long flights. It has muffled my cries, soaked up my tears and welcomed my guffaws.”

Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Writing*I would encourage you to use more paragraph breaks. Certainly, I would add one before “Do you remember” and also one before “A few minutes into the movie” and perhaps before “It was another first for us.” Paragraph breaks encourage the reader to pause before going on to the next thought.

*Writing*Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling: The comma should go inside the end quote in ‘firsts,’

*Writing* With this sentence, I would remove “too,” making it “We were two friends. New ones, at that.” Or “We were two friends. New friends.”

We were two friends. New ones at that too.


*Writing*Lastly, I would remove “I hope” from the end of the story. All along we’re being told that this is “it” for both of you. To me, putting doubt at the very end with nothing prior to suggest it would not be a forever thing takes away from the stability of your relationship.

In summation:

We all (or at least most of us) long for a stable, permanent relationship that will last us all of our days. Your short story enforces that thought, to good effect.

Thank you.

*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*



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21
21
Review of Gentle people  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Here is a review of "Gentle people

First impression:

Your poem speaks of people who have the capacity of unconditional love. We all know those people. Some of us are those people.

What I liked:

I liked the simplicity of this poem. Being so simple, it made me think beyond the borders of your words. All good poetry makes the reader think.

Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Writing*I have re-read your second stanza many times. I’m a little hung up on the lines “it will feel like/
they are cradling your heart.” I feel like the cadence is off a bit on these and would encourage you to consider amending them. Perhaps as:

it will feel
like they are cradling your heart

or something similar.

*Writing*Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling: No issues noted.

In summation:

But is unconditional love truly unconditional?
When does the all-encompassing love feel like smothering?

(see! More thoughts!)

Thank you.

*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*



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22
22
Review of Is it only me?  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Here is a review of "Is it only me?

First impression:

Your thoughts are written here. Soul bared. You want to know if you’re the only one who feels these things. The way YOU feel them is unique; but the experiences you describe are recognized by those kindred souls who are aware of themselves. Aware of the depth. Aware that there IS depth. This awareness is a gift. Not all can feel all that.

Favorite bit:

This fear of being fully known and understood by others creates a barrier that prevents me from forming genuine and meaningful connections, leaving me feeling isolated and misunderstood.

Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Writing*You’ve got some really intense thoughts in this piece. I highly suggest using paragraph breaks to give the reader time to digest the meaning and internalize them. Not even paragraph breaks. Each one of your thoughts stands alone. Make them stand out.

*Writing*Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling: No issues noted.

In summation:

It is the isolation of the soul that makes us feel misunderstood. Recognize and understand that this isolation need not be a concrete barrier. Rather, think of it as a reef; alive and permeable. For then you will understand yourself. And thrive.

Thank you.


*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*



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23
23
Review by IE
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Here is a review of "Please Stop That Barking!

First impression:

Here’s a poem we can all sink our teeth into (pun intended) (perhaps a lame one)
I’ve been on the shushing end of this scenario
If the dog wants to bark, the dog wants to bark

You’ve led us through a series of attempts to get the dog to heed. Perhaps it was your tone that finally got his attention.

Favorite bit:

This dog was going to become a statistical stray.


Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Writing*Mainly, I’d like to suggest that you consider breaking this into stanzas. While we, as writers, can do as we wish, I found it a bit difficult to know where to pause before going on to the next thought/line.


*Writing*I have a question on this line, and that is I’m not clear why it’s bolded? Is it for emphasis?

I swear, if you don't shut-up, you're going to be sorry!


*Writing*Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling: No issues noted.

In summation:

I enjoyed reading this humorous poem about your attempts to get the dog to give even a tiny bit of care to your wants.

They do have the gift of that side eye, no?

Thank you.


*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*



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24
24
Review of Giggle Moon  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Here is a review of "Giggle Moon

First impression:

How sweet of you to write a poem for your granddaughter. Better yet, that it’s About your granddaughter. What child wouldn’t delight in a poem all about them?

Favorite bit:

The entire poem is cute! Every stanza is my favorite lol

None noted.

In summation:

Annabella is nineteen now? Does she still remember this poem? I’d love to think of it printed and framed, hanging in a treasured space on a wall in her home.


*Writing* *Writing* *Writing*

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Review of Rough Draft (Duh)  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Here is a review of "Rough Draft (Duh)

First impression:

This is a well-written and deeply felt poem. It is, by your description, a poem about returning to writing. My opinion, if this work is anything to go by, is that you should have returned long ago.

Favorite bit:

Maybe it was trapped, or most likely dead,
I'll never really know what's going on in my head.

Below are my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Writing*I would suggest breaking this poem up into stanzas, to give the reader’s eyes a natural place to pause. Your words are powerful; show them off!

*Writing*There are two lines where “I” should be “me”:

a rough draft for only I to see.
And
this is a rough draft for only I to keep


In summation:

Welcome back to writing. If this poem is any indication, the world has been missing out on your work.
Keep going!


*Writing*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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