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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/elatedie
Review Requests: ON
119 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Starshine  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
I loved this poem!
The message is good; there is always hope, isn't there?
But it's the lyrical note that I really like.
It reads so well, there is a distinct rhythm thumping underneath each well defined verse.
Well done and continue the good work.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Unstoppable  
Review by IE
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Loved this!
I felt like I was right there, tasting the blood on my own lip as I kissed my girl as she tried to save me from my own fate.
Nothing critical to say--rather, it's all praise.
I could feel the dark interior of the hallway, smell the sweat and fear and lust...
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Review of Tough Goodbye  
Review by IE
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Oh, boy. This is a good read.
There was something a little sinister about Greg at the beginning, before I understood that they had been together for three years. That quickly changed to heartbreak around the middle of your story.
I felt genuinely sad for both of them. And he's a good guy. Nothing sinister at all.
They're just SO sad...
Obviously you hit all of the emotional buttons in the telling.
I will take my sad self away now...lol.
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Review by IE
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
"furious and terrified". Perfect description of what those fathers must have felt. I
read Chapter 2 before this one, but doing so takes nothing away from the story.

I'm wondering where this is going to go. So many possibilities!
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Review by IE
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Wow! This caught my attention immediately.
I will go back and read Chapter One now.
Are there more?

The descriptions of the demons are freaky--just right for demons, I suppose.

I'm repelled and attracted ad the same time, which is just what horror/suspense stories SHOULD do.
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Review of Whither Faith  
Review by IE
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is an excellent article. Well thought out, well-executed, and a fascinating subject matter which is hard to pin down in paragraphs but you managed that quite handily.

I really enjoyed that you tied together your own experiences as a child/teen. They dovetail mine to an extent. And then continued into adulthood, your questioning also right in time with mine. I wish I had not felt quite so alone during those times when I didn't know what I didn't know. This article would have gone a long way towards some sense of relief for me.

Well done.
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Review by IE
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Thank you for the welcome!
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Review of Mosquito  
Review by IE
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
That was kinda gross...in a good way!
I loved your descriptions, even down to the feeding stylets...did not know that about those whiny pesks!
You left quite a cliffhanger, as the waitress could very well spend her entire shift (or until her death, whichever ended things first) infecting an entire restaurant full of hungry patrons.
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Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is very helpful.
I was looking for some kind of guidelines to leave a review.
You've included quite a lot, which can be pared down.
I'm new to reviewing, and want to make sure my comments are positive, for the most part.
What constructive criticism is included I strive to put in such a way that it will be of aid in the person's future writing endeavors. Sometimes that not all that easy!
How do you constructively criticize in a helpful way? I'm curious to know.
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Review by IE
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Maybe he should have told her she could use the front door? :)

I enjoyed this short story. Even in just a few words, you portrayed a nicely well-rounded picture of a father who cares, not only for his daughter's well-being, but also that she have a little fun.

Well done.
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Review of Riding the Blimp  
for entry "Why I Write
Review by IE
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
What a fantastic article. I will be checking into the forum just as soon as possible!
I appreciate your efforts very much.
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Review of The Body  
Review by IE
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
So that was interesting.
I had to read the last two paragraphs several times to see how they tied into the story, but finally the lightbulb came on!
Your description of the fall was detailed and painful (not to read, to imagine experiencing), and that's always a good thing.
I enjoyed this, even if it was a bit twisted ;)

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Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was an extremely palatable history lesson in St Patrick!
I mean that in the nicest way possible :)

Your pacing was good. I am not normally a fan of rhyming poetry, but having the first and second lines rhyme in each stanza was a good idea, and tying each one together with a reference to St Paddy's Day a unique approach.

Well done!
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Review of Night's Solace  
Review by IE
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is pretty amazing writing.
You've captured the descent into...well, madness, right? Or at least the beginnings of it.
I cannot help to wonder how many of the prisoners locked away for months or years followed the same route as a coping mechanism.
We can only hope that those who made it out were able to recover their sanity.
This gives me lots to think about, actually. We can (and do) trap ourselves in our own heads, but what happens when it's initiated at the hands of another? For punishment, surely, but what remains?
(Now I want to research those prisoners and their families!)
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Review by IE
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is fascinating!
I had no idea such a place existed, nor was I aware of the roots of 'penitentiary'.

Your writing style is informative and interesting, sprinkled with facts and anecdotes that held my interest.

I am going to read 'Night's Solace' as well, but wanted to comment first.

Well done!
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Review by IE
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Oh this was a wonderful story!
I get an image of a kind-of tomboy ("kind-of" because of the whole Ken and Barbie thing) but what really struck me is how seamlessly you wove the doll characters into the real life ones.
What a rich, detailed imagination this one has.
The pacing was just right as well.
I also loved how Grandma was in on it (making finger sandwiches and also fashioning a matching cast).
Well done!
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Review of Pete  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
A beautiful ode to another human being.
So much disappointment in the first and second stanza, and then the winding down of a life once so fully lived in the third.
The progression to the fourth stanza where our dear ones say goodbye to us and we are left with the inevitability of continuing to live without their presence is beautifully illustrated in the first and second lines of the last stanza, "..putting me back together...honoured to have loved you".
It's sad, to be sure, and brings up emotions of those who have also left me behind.
Well done.
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Review of Odor of Sorrow  
Review by IE
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Excellent.
I liked the way you used the words odor/smell/scent, and how you attached them to tangible objects.
That gives richness and a palpable feeling to the emotions of grief.
This flows very well and I could really FEEL myself going down and digging into the roots of that very sorrow. Because it Lives in that place.
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Review by IE
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This was slightly weird, but then a prompt of this sort is bound to result in strange stories.
I like the idea of roach-eating squirrel exterminators. I think that's franchisable! (made up word lol).
The story hooked me in from the first.
All we need now is birth control for the squirrels...
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Review of The Future  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed this very much.
There is so much truth in thinking that 'the future' is something out there, something we will never achieve or, when we do, that it will look so totally different from our today. When, really, we bring ourselves forward into that next step that is the next now, now, now...

Your poem is simple but profound. Well done.
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Review of My Church  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautiful.
Heart-breaking at first, to be sure.
That which drives us away, leads us ultimately home.

Each word and stanza are meaningful on their own. There is power in your words.
Wholly together, this takes on great meaning in understanding our TRUE selves.
We need no one but God.

No man or religion is infallible.

Well done.
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Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.5)
Uncomfortable. Yet vital to your soul. To the soul of your little girl, striving to break free.
Is there release/relief in writing the memoir? Will it help you break free? Then do it. If it doesn't serve, then ask if it's truly necessary?
In the end, we only love ourselves.
You're right - you got this.
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Review of Hourglass  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
I liked this one too!
I may need to try one out.
:)
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Review of Candle  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
How clever!
I've never seen anything like this.
Each word is appropriately placed within (and fits the line!)
I'm pretty sure you encompassed everything that needs to be know when describing the candle.
Was this done as a challenge? Are there other shape/prompts out there? I'm intriugued. :)
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Review by IE
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is very well thought and written.
You have good facts and resources and the content, while disturbing in some aspects, rings true to the state of the world.
The contrasts at the beginning were very telling, and I particularly find them helpful when trying to flesh out information.
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