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146 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
Review by IE
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This prose is evocative.
I've re-read it about five times.
That doesn't happen, usually.

Normally I'll just read something once and review or not review.

I loved the imagery. Even in its darkness, there is beauty in every word.

Well-written. I really enjoyed it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of After Party  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a feel-good short story.

I liked the details and sense of impending doom if Brad got caught with a filthy house.

We can only hope that Mom likes the new dishwasher so much she won't know (or say) that it's not the same one as before!

Overall very enjoyable.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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3
Review of I'm lazy  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.5)
Seems you're the opposite of lazy.

There is value in hard work, of course, but not the never-ending kind.

You did what you did to obtain your goals. Made a life.

I would be interested to know what your sister's attitude was. I can assume, but maybe tie it into the earlier mention of her? She may have had that attitude, but how did that turn in to the hard work of house painting?

I like the tone of your story. Good job.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review by IE
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
What an interesting premise. I loved this story.

It was well-written. I really felt for Aaron and Sarah. The details about what he could and could not do (i.e. no blood flow) were thought out and introduced in a manner that was a little tongue-in-cheek. I always appreciate a little humor in a story.

"L" is an interesting character. I didn't quite 'like' him, but there's not a lot of time in a short story to develop many redeeming qualities in a task-master such as he.

And, the ending left me thinking. Would Sarah take this as a 'sign' that God exists to have her husband call her from the dead? Or would she put it down to a hallucination and seek therapy? Only Sarah will know.

Aaron won't. He's back to being dead.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review of WLTM IRL  
Review by IE
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is an enjoyable 'vampire tries to adapt to new technology' short story.

Anton is likeable, to a certain extent, even though we don't really get to know him all that well.

The victim at least got an orgasm out of the deal!

And Kerry, well...Kerry put paid to Anton's antics.

I enjoyed reading this.
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Review of Saving the Planet  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ugh. I've had dreams like this.
Well, not Exactly like this, of course. I have no idea what it will be like in 2516.

But...I have had dreams of the same ilk. Of knowing that if I wake up, I will just be right where I am. And knowing that I know that I know, it just makes it worse.

I enjoyed your short story. It was thought-provoking.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review of Stolen Birthday  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.0)
This was a cute idea for a short story.
The anticipation and the disappointment of the little girl is palpable.

I could really see her racing around the house to see where her presents are. Oh, the agony of not seeing what you are expecting!


Maybe I would put "waiting for her" after "blueberry pancakes?" Just a suggestion.

Overall it was well thought out and well written.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review of Pit Stop  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was great. I loved the lead-in and it was a really creepy feeling that ran up my spine when the painting mirrored the patrons/scene and the patrons mirrored the painting.

Did you mean "mesmerized" instead of "memorized" in "The bum in the painting was turned toward two men memorized by the jukebox?"

For half a moment I was afraid that Kenny and Scott were turned into whatever the rest of them were, but thankfully that proved not to be true.





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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9
Review of No Amount of Love  
Review by IE
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I want to know more! But they're all dead!

Ack

Super-depressing but exciting at the same time. You've hit the right timbre of ominous excitement.

I just gotta know. Are they ALL dead? Even the ones who flew the planes?

Well done! Enjoyed your story thoroughly.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review of Darryl and Glenn  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ha. I read all the way to the end before I figured out Glenn was a dog.

Of course I had to re-read it to get it into context.

Quite clever. And you can tell a tale, that's for sure. The story was engaging in all the right ways.

If I may offer a suggestion, please space between paragraphs and make the font a little bigger?

Looking forward to reading more of your writing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is simply put, but very effective.

Darkness does echo sometimes, that's for sure.

One suggestion is, for punctuation clarity, remove the period after 'fear' and place it after 'rain.'

There is a protective quality to the message.

It's sad that your heart was shattered by someone, but hopefully you can heed your own words and know that you will come through.
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Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really like this poem. It ebbs and flows quite nicely.

The meaning is obscure but, upon rereading (and rereading) the reader can come to their own understanding.

I'm curious how you decided on the pacing for the lines in the second stanza? It stands out to me as a little less 'flowy'. In my mind, I see it is as:
Filling the space, the emptiness.
For between us is a chasm that is as naught. These are the dreams of Orpheus.
Divine in harmony, the sacred, separation of notes, blending,
Extending, sound expanding. Fills the ocean unconscious.

Or even:
Filling the space, the emptiness.
For between us is a chasm that is as naught.
These are the dreams of Orpheus.
Divine in harmony, the sacred, separation of notes, blending,
Extending, sound expanding. Fills the ocean unconscious.

I had to google 'veves' which is a fantastic word. It always tickles me when I come across a word I need to look up.

At the end of the first stanza there is a comma. Should it be a period?

And lastly, you repeated 'reverberation' in the first and the last stanzas, and 'sound expanding' in all but the third stanza. Assuming this is deliberate, is it a theme? If so, should they be incorporated into each stanza?

Well-written and thought-provoking. Thanks for writing this.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
Review by IE
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
What a tale you wove! I totally believed the characters, and could picture them clearly in my mind, cantankerous and crotchety.

I wanted to tag Uriah as the bad guy, but really, I can't. He did warn Tagman several times.

You wove the prompt neatly into the story.

Most of all, I enjoyed the interaction between the two main characters. This is very well-written.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by IE
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
What adorable yarns you did weave here--even if they are a little bloodthirsty. (crocodiles being crocodiles, and etc.)

The phrasing is endearing, especially the one with the baboon. But all of the stories had some kind of merit.

I enjoyed reading these very much.

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Review of Shy of Tomorrow  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is such a cute story. Tell me you have more than one chapter?

I've always been a sucker for a good romance and this has all the markings of being interesting. Intriguing, as well. Why is he checking out romance novels? Is he a budding writer and wants inspiration? Is he volunteering at a nursing home and reads to the women there? So many possibilities!

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Review by IE
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Wow! That's some story!

Well-written. Very well-written, in fact. The cadence was good all the way through, and his descent into madness is obvious and ramps up at a good pace.

The only sentence I have a suggestion on is "There was a television above the waiter’s head as he worked." I think saying where it was is the key point. How about something like "There was a television bolted high on the wall behind the counter." That's not perfect either, but something along those lines.

Enjoyed reading this. Keep it going.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Dear Dad  
Review by IE
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I'm sorry about your Dad. It's been many years since my Dad passed but your poem was totally relatable and brought back so many memories.

I liked the tone you set and your admiration for your father comes across clearly. A suggestion? In the first stanza, I would remove the other two 'fateful's you have there. I don't think they really add anything to the power, nor does removing them take any thing away. "On that fateful day."

Thank you for writing this.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
Oh wow!
You captured this perfectly!

I could see the whale - huge - in the grey, stormy ocean.

I'm not all that familiar with haiku, but I do know enough that it has to capture the reader's attention immediately or the few words are just wasted.

These are not wasted.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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19
Review of Marilyn  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (4.0)
I enjoyed your poem. I've never come across a double acrostic before; that must have been very challenging.

I would suggest the following edit: "Let the warmth of the sun ..." Adding those two words doesn't change your first and last letter of the line and helps the flow of the sentence. In my opinion, of course.

I liked the overall message of the poem as well. Well done.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
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Review of Starshine  
Review by IE
Rated: E | (5.0)
I loved this poem!
The message is good; there is always hope, isn't there?
But it's the lyrical note that I really like.
It reads so well, there is a distinct rhythm thumping underneath each well defined verse.
Well done and continue the good work.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
Review of Unstoppable  
Review by IE
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Loved this!
I felt like I was right there, tasting the blood on my own lip as I kissed my girl as she tried to save me from my own fate.
Nothing critical to say--rather, it's all praise.
I could feel the dark interior of the hallway, smell the sweat and fear and lust...
22
22
Review of Tough Goodbye  
Review by IE
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Oh, boy. This is a good read.
There was something a little sinister about Greg at the beginning, before I understood that they had been together for three years. That quickly changed to heartbreak around the middle of your story.
I felt genuinely sad for both of them. And he's a good guy. Nothing sinister at all.
They're just SO sad...
Obviously you hit all of the emotional buttons in the telling.
I will take my sad self away now...lol.
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Review by IE
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
"furious and terrified". Perfect description of what those fathers must have felt. I
read Chapter 2 before this one, but doing so takes nothing away from the story.

I'm wondering where this is going to go. So many possibilities!
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Review by IE
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Wow! This caught my attention immediately.
I will go back and read Chapter One now.
Are there more?

The descriptions of the demons are freaky--just right for demons, I suppose.

I'm repelled and attracted ad the same time, which is just what horror/suspense stories SHOULD do.
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Review of Whither Faith  
Review by IE
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is an excellent article. Well thought out, well-executed, and a fascinating subject matter which is hard to pin down in paragraphs but you managed that quite handily.

I really enjoyed that you tied together your own experiences as a child/teen. They dovetail mine to an extent. And then continued into adulthood, your questioning also right in time with mine. I wish I had not felt quite so alone during those times when I didn't know what I didn't know. This article would have gone a long way towards some sense of relief for me.

Well done.
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