Hi Saint! I just read In The Green. Before I go on, I want you to know that my reviews are in-depth, and contain comments about what I feel is working in the story and what I think could be improved. These are only my humble opinions, and my hope is that you take away what will help you and leave the rest  . Here goes:
 Initial Reaction: A great read! The fast-paced plot unfolds with fervor and the intensity of the story grabs the reader right from the get-go and holds on tight until the end. I really liked this story -- bravo!
 What I liked: Your obvious storytelling ability is a talent; one that seems to come very naturally to you rather than learned. I enjoyed the style of this piece from the characterization to the descriptive imagery. You did an outstanding job maintaining the correct verb tense, and didn't indulge too much in the passive voice (which, btw, is a common mistake).
You develope strong voices for the characters through your dialogue, which reads exactly as the speaker would be heard. This is another mark of natural talent 
I enjoyed the descriptions you use throughout this piece, and this line stuck out in particular: I started up Old Betsy and sped off again, keeping a mental map of the town at the edge of my field of vision. Nice!
And -- this one shows your sense of humor: I picked the one with the fluorescent orange pellets with green paint inside, sort of an inside joke. Great job!
 Suggestions: There is much you can do to improve the readability of this story. First, here at WDC, it is suggested that you double space between paragraphs. This allows the reader to transition easily from one paragraph to the next.
Second, each time a character speaks, with actual dialogue surrounded by quotation marks, that sentence should be given its own paragraph. For example, this is how the opening of your story should look:
The light was pale green and pulsing from the two-foot larvae at his feet. "Should we move it?" Clem asked, spitting his tobacco inches from it's side.
"I don't know what the hell to do with it," I said, "and that scares me to death."
"Ain't s*** to be scared of," said Clem.
He reached down and with a heave, lifted the thing up to his left shoulder. A quiet crackle and spark jumped to his forehead, and he went down like a load of bricks. His face immediately began to slough off like a butter sculpture in a microwave.
"Oh God!" I heard myself scream as I tried to turn and run. A tendril shot outwards from the pod towards me. If not for me slipping and lurching to the left, I'd have been history.
 Here at WDC, there are word processing commands called 'Writing ML' you can use to indent, bold face, italicize, change font and color, etc. If you are not familiar with them, just go to the top left margin of any page and under 'Site Navigation' click on 'Site Tools' to open a drop down list that includes 'WritingML Help'.
 Grammar/spelling Oops: I noticed some punctuation errors, particularly in regards to dialogue rules. Remember, quotation marks open and close what is being said. If the sentence includes 'he said'; 'she replied'; etc, there is a comma just before the closing quotation marks. If that sentence, however, is a question or exclamatory, use a (?) or (!) inside the quotation marks instead of the comma. For example, here is an excerpt from your story:
"Paint guns", mike yelled! Always wanted one of those he said as he grabbed one from the shelf. Brain storming, I said. "They shoot plastic balls of paint, correct?
Damn straight, said Mike. We gathered up 10 of them, about 10,000 paint ball, 30 plastic firing guns and shuffled back to the jeep. "Hold it right there!"
Sheriff Harris said, a glint of light reflecting off of his 357 Magnum. Joshua, I said. It's me, Bill... You've got to listen to us.
Here is an edited version:
"Paint guns!" Mike yelled. "Always wanted one of those," he said, as he grabbed one from the shelf.
Brainstorming, I said, "They shoot plastic balls of paint, correct?"
"Damn straight," said Mike. We gathered up 10 of them, about 10,000 paint ball, 30 plastic firing guns and shuffled back to the jeep.
"Hold it right there!" Sheriff Harris said, a glint of light reflecting off of his 357 Magnum.
"Joshua," I said. "It's me, Bill... You've got to listen to us."
The following website has some great explanations of these and other grammar rules. I use it a lot myself!: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_q...
Also, review punctuation with possession:
...spitting his tobacco inches from it's side. 'its side'
...we sped back to Mikes loved ones. 'Mike's loved ones'
Overall, I thought this story was engaging and full of action. I enjoyed the pace and the plot. With some editing on the mechanical side, it will come into its own as a successful short story -- one that could be enlarged into a larger work!
 
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Either, ...used by humans as laborers.; or, used by humans for labor.
Nicki
) and introduced the pov while providing a juicy hook. Bravo!
!
Initial Reaction: A hopeful poem to arise out of the ashes of 9-11. I was moved and inspired by every word of this piece.
What I liked: There are so many moments of brilliance, but one I especially liked was this: 
Suggestions: None! This is perfect in my eyes!
Nicki
!