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Review by NickiD89
Rated: E | (4.0)
In appreciation of your generous participation in "Invalid Item, I have selected two of your portfolio items to review. This one is for Reflections, inspired by a photograph:


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: Although I can't see the photograph, I hear the inspiration it evoked in you, and I sense the beauty it possessed.


*Star* What I liked: The idea of this piece is intriquing. Seeing something that makes you want to sit down and write about it is an exercise we all should partake in more often. The writer's equivalent to 'Stop and smell the roses'!


*Question* Suggestions: I thought this was lovely as it is written.


*Check3* Grammar/spelling Oops: None!


*Star* Thanks for sharing your creativity with us!

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Review by NickiD89
Rated: E | (4.5)
In appreciation of your generous participation in "Invalid Item, I have selected two of your portfolio items to review. This one is for A Bitter Old Woman:


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: A thought-provoking piece that carries a strong message: Hold your judgement of others.


*Star* What I liked: I liked the following description very much: I passed a woman looking weary and worn, clutching her purse in one hand and a sack of groceries in the other --- a sad rendition of Lady Justice. Very nice!


*Question* Suggestions: She was silent, "Maybe she didn't hear me," I thought as I continued on. ~ Internal thoughts are different than outright dialogue, and presenting them in italics rather than between quotation marks increases their readability.

More belligerently she smirked, "Yeah, I bet a whole hell-of-a-lot." Great line, but use of 'hell' probably necessitates a 13+ content rating.


*Check3* Grammar/spelling Oops: Then she turned in anger, "How would you know?" *Right* Period after anger instead of comma.


*Star* A powerful message packaged in a well-crafted essay. Nice use of a biblical quote to wrap up the intended meaning. Thanks for sharing!


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Review of The Monster  
Review by NickiD89
Rated: E | (4.5)
In appreciation of your generous participation in "Invalid Item, I have selected two of your portfolio items to review. This one is for The Monster:


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: A sweet and enjoyable story that left a smile on my face!


*Star* What I liked: Your characterization of Mirabelle, from choosing such a beautiful first name for her to describing her unrest at the prospect of facing the monster, was well done. I especially liked the inside-to-out descriptions that show instead of tell, such as, Mirabelle curled into a tight ball and closed her eyes. She put her small fist into her mouth to trap the sobs that longed to escape. So much more effective than simply saying, 'she was scared'. Nicely done!

Another great example: She grabbed one of the strings and ripped it off the slipper and threw it on the floor. Great image!!


*Question* Suggestions: There are some mistakes throughout this story concerning the punctuation in the dialogue sections. The most common problem is ending a sentence inside the quotation marks with a period instead of a comma, when 'he said', 'she said', etc. follows the remark. For example:
"Come on out silly girl, the Easter Bunny left you a present." Daddy said.

Also, a speaker will have 'said', 'replied', 'answered', etc.; but his/her other actions outside the quotation marks need to stand on their own as separate sentences. For example,
Daddy frowned, "Why don't you want your Easter basket Mira?" *Right* Daddy frowned. "Why don't you want your Easter basket, Mira?"


*Check3* Grammar/spelling Oops: Other than the above comments, everything looked perfect.


*Star* I thought this was a great read. Thanks so much!


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Review of Summer School  
Review by NickiD89
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
In appreciation of your generous participation in "Invalid Item, I have selected two of your portfolio items to review. This one is for Summer School:


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: I enjoyed this recollection of the blissfully crazy days of youth. The title fits the story perfectly, and the last paragraph wraps it all up beautifully. Nice job!


*Star* What I liked: Your descriptions work well to allow the reader to 'sense' what is happening in the story. I especially appreciate this line: The smell of manure was overpowered by the scent of wildflowers growing on the hillside behind our house. Great way to invite the sense of smell into the story.


*Question* Suggestions: In the paragraph beginning, 'That hill was the scene...' the word hill or hillside is used in every sentence but the last one. Replacing some with synonyms such as slope, incline, mound, knoll or rise would add color to the paragraph.


*Check3* Grammar/spelling Oops: I didn't find any! *Cool*


*Star* I enjoyed your story very much! Thanks for sharing!


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Review of Let's Take a Hike  
Review by NickiD89
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
In appreciation of your generous participation in "Invalid Item, I have selected two of your portfolio items to review. This one is for Let's Take A Hike:


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: Congratulations on this article's acceptance into publication!! Woo-hoo!!! I enjoyed the entire piece, from its presentation to its light-hearted, easy-going commentary. BTW, I live in Jefferson, GA and my husband, two kids and I hike regularly in Amicalola Falls State Park and Tallulah Gorge State Park. It's so beautiful there! I am going to look into the The Canyon Climbers Club ~ thanks for the tip!!!


*Star* What I liked: There was a strong argument presented for the many benefits of hiking. The information you present concerning area hiking options and the list of essentials for the day hiker is thorough and easy to understand.

*Thumbsup* I particularly like the last paragraph, that wraps up the article with a powerfully written conclusion. Great job!!


*Question* Suggestions: I assume the magazine editors will be involved with the finalization of this article, but for the post here at WDC, I offer these humble suggestions:


*Note* This sentence uses the word 'gotten', and I wonder if a stronger verb could be employed: Also, hiking gives you a wonderful one with nature peace of mind kind of feel not gotten from the treadmill. Perhaps 'gleaned', or perceived, or observed...?

*Note* In this sentence: Hiking is what you make it--fun, leisure/social, challenge, a way to relieve tension, or all of these. -- I would treat the list of suggested terms like they replaced the phrase 'what you make it' in the sentence; in other words, 'Hiking is __________.' (It is) fun, a leisure/social activity, challenging, a way to relieve tension...

*Note* I suggest adding 'person' on to the end of this sentence: But, as a safety precaution, always hike with at least one other person.

*Note* The word 'into' is unnecessary in this sentence: For the avid hiker who plans on entering into remote areas, rent a satellite phone.


*Idea* Again, I'm sure the editors will comb through this piece for typos and punctuation oops, but there are a couple capitalization boo-boos *Smile*

why not hit the trails. Cap on 'why' and (?)

... from the ‘Yeah, it's okay' list to the ‘I Love This' list. Caps for 'it's' and 'okay', making the names of the lists uniform.

...tone leg muscles; If done in twenty-minute... No cap after '...; If'.




*Star* I will look for your article in Recreation and Parks in Georgia Magazine. Kudos for having it published!!! Thanks for sharing!


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*Heart* Nicki
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Review by NickiD89
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
In appreciation of your generous participation in "Invalid Item, I have selected two of your portfolio items to review. This one is for Comprehending The Climb:


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: Flash fiction is but a snapshot in time, and this one captures the moment a person understands that generosity is letting another enjoy what they are feeling, instead of 'giving' them a moment of what is making you happy. Lovely message!


*Star* What I liked: The setting is a mountainide but the lesson could have been learned anywhere. That's why I loved this line: For an instant, I am struck with anxious self-doubt. Such a true and relevant emotion when our good intentions are rebuffed.


*Question* Suggestions: None, I liked it as is!

*Check3* Grammar/spelling Oops: Not with you here with me, even if you are unwilling, or too tired, uninterested, or unable for what ever reason, in joining me at the top. *Right* ... what ever reason, to join me at the top.


*Star* I enjoyed your story very much! Thanks for sharing!


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*Heart* Nicki
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Review of Fire to Ashes  
Review by NickiD89
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1414245 Unavailable **


Hello again, Joy! In appreciation of your generous participation in "Invalid Item, I have selected (another *Wink*) two of your portfolio items for the Site Wide Care Review. This one is for Fire To Ashes:


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: A gripping story that read with suspense and emotion. You did a great job with 'show, don't tell' descriptives allowing me to follow the plot with ease.


*Star* What I liked: This line gave me chills: "There are no guarantees in promises. You believed in the wrong promise." ~ Very powerful!

I liked the last line, too. The story spun on last time with it.


*Question* Suggestions: I have none, I liked it as it was written.


*Check3* Grammar/spelling Oops: I found none!*Smile*


*Star* You are a very talented writer. I've enjoyed your items very much. Thanks for sharing!


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*Heart* Nicki
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Review by NickiD89
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
** Image ID #1414245 Unavailable **


Hello again, Joy! In appreciation of your generous participation in "Invalid Item, I have selected (another *Wink*) two of your portfolio items for the Site Wide Care Review. This one is for A Walk Through The Woods:


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: A well-crafted short story with a lot of heart. The descriptions of the setting and characters were nicely done, helping me 'see' the story as it unfolded. This sentence, Maybe after today, the rumble of the wind would encourage fewer partings and more resolutions. is a great 'hook', leading me on; and the plot led me to discover its meaning by the end of the story. Nice job!


*Star* What I liked: I enjoyed your style and the voice you chose for this piece. It was beautifully written with imagery and descriptive language. I especially liked this line: Maybe during breakfast, coffee's sepia veneer could impart clarity, and each sip could weave together unraveled flaws and bond broken hearts. Nice!

I also liked your characterization of the parents: the metaphorical use of the deer sighting as a turning point in the father's attitude toward his daughter; and the naturalist's quotations they both knew by heart, showing how in tune with nature their personalities are.


*Question* Suggestions: In the paragraph beginning, "Time for pumpkin pies...", there are three 'fall's' in quick succession: Every year, when apples, pumpkins, and cranberries started appearing in bountiful piles in the local market, Falls River put its fall flair on display. "In Falls River, we like to... May I suggest this: '...Falls River put its autumn flair on display.'


*Check3* Grammar/spelling Oops: I found none!*Smile*


*Star* Overall, an enjoyable story to read! Thanks for sharing with us!


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Review by NickiD89
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1414245 Unavailable **



Hi Joy! I have seen you around the site, but never taken the opportunity to visit your port. So, here I am, and I wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed "Peace Is Not a Christmas Wish Only:

*Flower4* Initial Reaction: A powerful arguement for the re-evalutation of the human spirit and a plea to bring peace to the world. This article was originally posted in 2003, but its message is needed more now than ever. This excerpt rings especially true today:

We have to forgive ourselves for accepting material values over those that elevate the human spirit. We have to forgive ourselves for backing the evildoers at one time when that meant material gains for us. We have to forgive ourselves for looking the other way when injustice was exercised. Then, we have to forgive others for whatever negative feelings they foster toward us. Plus, we have to learn from past mistakes and not repeat them.

~ In 2003 I never would have believed that five years later the war in Iraq would continue... no closer to resolution than when it began. ~


*Star* What I liked: Your arguments are well-developed and insightful. It is easy to follow your line of thought as you work through your discussion, and you present your point of view in a strong voice without coming across as preachy or fanatical. I found your opinions very convincing and relevant.


*Question* Suggestions: The closing paragraph wraps up the argument and the conclusion could be presented with more insistence. I suggest changing just a word or two, letting the urgency of your argument shine brighter:

At this time in human civilization, we are at a turning point. At this time, we have the chance to have (allow) love and brotherhood (to) form the basis of our existence instead of our habitual money and power games. At this time, we have the opportunity to change the entire human culture into one that accepts peace. At this time, we have to (must) embrace peace because history is daring us to go for it.

~ Note: You are a much more accomplished writer than me! Please know I am only offering a humble suggestion; ultimately you know best how your piece should be written! *Smile*


*Check3* Grammar/spelling Oops: None! Fantastic job combing through this to ensure there are no errors. An argument is always weaker when the reader is distracted by 'oop's'.


*Star* I agree with your opinions presented here; but I feel your arguments would persuade even the toughest cynic! Great job, thanks for sharing!


Write On!
~ Nicki
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Review of The Cottage Door  
Review by NickiD89
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1414245 Unavailable **


In appreciation of your generous participation in "Invalid Item, I have selected two of your portfolio items for the Site Wide Care Review. This one is for The Cottage Door:


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: What a fantastic idea for a portfolio folder!! Your descriptions are wonderful, I felt like I was really there! The organization of the different portals is wonderfully displayed, and the images bring color and extra life the the entire thing. Bravo!


*Star* What I liked: I especially like the hidden diamond idea -- a treasure hunt that invites readers to poke around and read the items. Brilliant! I will be back if I don't find one today *Bigsmile*!


*Question* Suggestions: None! *Smile*


*Check3* Grammar/spelling Oops: It looks good to me, great job!


*Star* You are so creative! Love this!

 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1368465 by Not Available.



*Heart* Nicki
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Review of Badger  
Review by NickiD89
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
** Image ID #1414245 Unavailable **


In appreciation of your generous participation in "Invalid Item, I have selected two of your portfolio items for the Site Wide Care Review. This one is for Badger:


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: I was engrossed with your story, you hooked me right away and kept me engaged right to the last, hilarious sentence.


*Star* What I liked: Once again, you impress me with your ability to capture such a strong voice in your story. It is a real pleasure to read your items!

BTW, one of my favorite books is entirely written in a strong voice of southern blacks of the 1950s ~ I think you would really appreciate the read. It is called, Mother of Pearl by Melinda Haynes.

*Star* Fabulous last line!!!


*Question* Suggestions: None, I loved this!


*Check3* Grammar/spelling Oops: None, great job!


*Star* Thanks again for the enjoyable reads!

 Invalid Item 
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#1368465 by Not Available.



*Heart* Nicki
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Review of Tom's ghost story  
Review by NickiD89
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1414245 Unavailable **


In appreciation of your generous participation in "Invalid Item, I have selected two of your portfolio items for the Site Wide Care Review. This one is for Tom's Ghost Story:


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: A well-crafted and entertaining story from the first line to the last. I enjoyed this very much!


*Star* What I liked: You did an outstanding job writing Tom and Bill's dialogue in the voice of good old country boys, they really sound like the cowboys they are sopposed to be. Bravo!


*Question* Suggestions: I thought this was perfect as is!


*Check3* Grammar/spelling Oops: Just one line: In spite o' the name badlands, its real pretty place in the summer, but the winters are somethin' else. *Right* ...it's a real pretty place...


*Star* I enjoyed reading your story, your talent shines in this piece!

 Invalid Item 
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#1368465 by Not Available.



*Heart* Nicki
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Review by NickiD89
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1414245 Unavailable **


In appreciation of your generous participation in "Invalid Item, I have selected two of your portfolio items for the Site Wide Care Review. This one is for Where Snowflakes Came From:


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: I am so glad I found this beautiful poem! I loved everything from its gentle cadence to its wonderful story. Great job!!


*Star* What I liked: The story told in this poem is magical! My favorite lines are these:

They fluttered to earth, to ground, trees and lakes,
The butterflies were now big, fluffy snowflakes.
The children giggled with glee and delight.
They made 'snow butterflies', a glorious sight!


~~ How clever, to use the image of children making 'snow angels' but call them 'snow butterflies'! Love it!!


*Question* Suggestions: None! From presentation in blue text to message, it was perfection!


*Check3* Grammar/spelling Oops: None *Cool*!


*Star* I really enjoyed reading your poems! Thanks for sharing!


 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1368465 by Not Available.



*Heart* Nicki
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Review by NickiD89
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1414245 Unavailable **


In appreciation of your generous participation in "Invalid Item, I have selected two of your portfolio items for the Site Wide Care Review. This one is for What To Do With A Basketball That Is Terribly Flat:


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: I loved this light-hearted poem for the recycler at heart!!


*Star* What I liked: From the title, I could think of no uses for the flat basketball. But I was thoroughly amused by the five uses you came up with! Bravo!! *Laugh*


*Question* Suggestions: None, I thought this was great as is.


*Check3* Grammar/spelling Oops: None *Cool*!


*Star* I enjoyed the style and whimsical feel of this poem. Thanks for sharing!


 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1368465 by Not Available.



*Heart* Nicki
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Review of Take Me Back  
Review by NickiD89
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
** Image ID #1414245 Unavailable **


Hi Diane! This is a review of "Take Me Back:

*Flower4* Initial Reaction: This is a hilarious story of revenge and I loved it!!

*Star* What I liked: The humorous thoughts of the narrator absolutely cracked me up. And, I love this 'show, don't tell' description: The cat is purring up a storm, glad to have someone down at his eye-level probably. What a great way to say she is crawling on the ground!


*Question* Suggestions: None, it's great as is!


*Check3* Grammar/spelling Oops: There are a couple places where a comma is missing after the word 'too':

He used to dampen my panties too. ~ and ~ The light is on in the bedroom too.


*Star* You are a very funny writer, and I have enjoyed your stories very much! Again, thanks for sharing!

Write On!
~ Nicki
Sig by KiyaSama I use when reviewing
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Review of Girls Night Out  
Review by NickiD89
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Image ID #1414245 Unavailable **


Hi Diane! This is a review of "Girls Night Out:

*Flower4* Initial Reaction: What a fun, light-hearted story that any woman who's ever had great girlfriends and an absence of a boyfriend can relate to. I was smiling all through this read! I once lived in Washington D.C., so I felt a special connection to the plot, although I hung out mostly in Adam's Morgan *Smile*.


*Star* What I liked: I enjoyed the banter between the women, with their inside jokes and humorous asides. My two favorites are:
Men are like public transportation, available to all who are willing to wait. *Laugh*! And:
After parking, we all took a minute to check our makeup and compliment each other on how great our clothes were and more importantly how fantastic our bodies looked in them. We women are all the same!!! *Delight*


*Question* Suggestions: Often the readability of a piece improves when the beginning of each new speaker's dialogue is given its own paragraph.


*Check3* Grammar/spelling Oops: Just one! There is a missng word in the following sentence:

Whatever was inside couldn't be any bizarre than the crowd standing outside so we plunged ahead and opened the door. ~ any more bizarre(?)


*Star* Overall, I loved this story. Thanks for the chuckles! And, thanks for sharing!


Write On!
~ Nicki
Sig by KiyaSama I use when reviewing
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Review of Going Home  
Review by NickiD89
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
** Image ID #1414245 Unavailable **


Thanks for participating in "Newbie Bitem Challenge - CLOSED! Here is the review for Going Home:

*Flower4* Initial Reaction: This story makes for a very enjoyable read, from the girl-next-door characterization of Missy and well-described conflict she faces, to the detailed tryst she shares with her old college fling. Nice job!


*Star* What I liked: The voice of this piece is down-to-earth and easy to read. I like the 'everydayness' of descriptions like: I pulled a diet out and popped the top., that are relatable to the reading audience. You have a very comfortable writing style that comes through beautifully in this story.


*Question* Suggestions: This story can be tightened up immensely if you go through and change the passive voice to the simple past. This is a stylistic choice, but I guarentee the results will improve the overall impact of the plot. For example:

How is it that mothers are always right? She had been in this case anyway. He had been a jerk, and I found that out the hard way. This sentence is important, it is a 'hook' inticing the reader to continue. Listen to how much stronger it is written this way:

How is it that mothers are always right? She was in this case anyway. He was a jerk, and I found that out the hard way.

Here's another example:

Where he had found the money to buy me an engagement ring, I had no idea. He had proposed to me about three weeks ago over an Italian dinner at a very nice restaurant. This is all recent information, she is in the moment with her recollections and feelings. Cutting out the passive voice increases the impact of this passage:

Where he found the money to buy me an engagement ring, I have no idea. He proposed to me about three weeks ago over an Italian dinner at a very nice restaurant.

*Note* One thing I look for in my own writing is places where I use the same word, or forms of a word, twice in the same passage. I find it distracting for the reader. For example, you may want to find synonyms to use in these sentences:

I stopped at a rest stop and pulled the cooler out of the trunk. I needed a drink. I pulled a diet out and popped the top.

*Note* Another suggestion... and this is just something that rang through my mind as I was reading the sexual encounter... is that neither one brought up using a condom. In today's world when we all live with the threat of STD's and AIDS, you may want to consider how this story could send a message to the reading audience. Just a suggestion!


*Check3* Grammar/spelling Oops: Just three *Smile*:

"...I told you he was a no good SOB." Mom said. *Right* Comma instead of period after SOB.

Missy said they were meeting around nine... *Right* I think this should be Emily, right?

The last sentence needs a question mark at the end.


*Star* Overall, I enjoyed immensely your story's style and your talent as a writer definitely shows through! Thank you so much for sharing it!


*Note5* I will roll the virtual dice on May 1st to determine the winner of the 5000 gps. I will post the winner in the challenge forum and email him/her directly. Also, keep checking "Invalid Item for the posting of your (2)raffle ticket numbers, and when the drawing will be. Good luck!


Write On!
~ Nicki
Happy Holidays!
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Review by NickiD89
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1414245 Unavailable **


In appreciation of your generous participation in "Invalid Item, I have selected two of your portfolio items for the Site Wide Care Review. This one is for A Reflection's Pain:


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: Wonderful poem capturing torment and loathing for self. The title is perfect, and acts as a hook for the potenial reader. Fantastic!


*Star* What I liked: My favorite line from this piece is definitely:
I'm drowning in the sweet shards of my mirror's lifeless ocean. So poignant, great imagery. Bravo!



*Question* Suggestions: None, it's perfect the way it is!


*Check3* Grammar/spelling Oops: I found none! *Cool*

*Star* Your talent shines through every line of this poem. Great job! Thanks for sharing it with us!

 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1368465 by Not Available.



*Heart* Nicki
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Review of ~Nearly An Angel  
Review by NickiD89
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1414245 Unavailable **


In appreciation of your generous participation in "Invalid Item, I have selected two of your portfolio items for the Site Wide Care Review. This one is for Nearly An Angel:


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: A poem that oozes emotion, and one I enjoyed reading through several times to fully experience all its power.


*Star* What I liked: This is my favorite imagery from the poem:
She crawled on tattered bibles.
and sang songs of treason.
Very moving!

I liked the presentation of the piece, in its red text that drives home the images described: hell, blood, wet lips. Nice touch!


*Question* Suggestions: I have none, I loved it as is.


*Check3* Grammar/spelling Oops: I found none! *Cool*

*Star* I enjoyed your poem very much! Thanks for sharing with us!

 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1368465 by Not Available.



*Heart* Nicki
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Review by NickiD89
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Image ID #1414245 Unavailable **



*Flower4* Initial Reaction: A sweet story of nature's cycles, told with eloquence and emotion. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece!


*Star* What I liked: I love the wonderful image of the snowflake falling from the cherry blossoms to the ground, where the blossom petals will fall, where the tree's autum leaves will fall, Until once again the last snowflake of winter drifts down. Just lovely!

I also loved the presentation of this story; with the verses centered and separated by snowflakes, it had a whimsical and happy feel to it.


*Question* Suggestions: Though this passage is beautiful --

Then with a shiver, she melted into a dewdrop and fell to the ground.
Then like all the other snowflakes, she soaked into the earth.
The sun warmed the sky for more and more days.
Then as a reminder of all the beautiful snowflakes of winter,

-- the use of 'then' three times so close together interrupts somewhat the flow of the verse. Perhaps the second could be changed to, Just like all the other snowflakes, I'm sure you could do much better than me!!! *Blush*!


*Check3* Grammar/spelling Oops: I found none. *Cool*

*Star* Thanks for sharing your immense talent with us!

 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1368465 by Not Available.



*Heart* Nicki
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Review of My Lai  
Review by NickiD89
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1414245 Unavailable **


In appreciation of your generous participation in "Invalid Item, I have selected two of your portfolio items for the Site Wide Care Review. This one is for My Lai:


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: A fascinating read, Kiya! One scenerio told from two drastically different perspectives. Although there is clearly an innocent voice and an aggressive voice, you manage to evoke empathy from the reader for both sides. Great job!


*Star* What I liked: You captured the voice of the child in Story #1, and the voice of the soldier in Story #2 with amazing clarity. Their language and intonation are spot on. Bravo!


*Question* Suggestions: Don't mess with perfection! *Cool*


*Check3* Grammar/spelling Oops: I found none.

*Star* Thanks for sharing your immense talent with us!

 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1368465 by Not Available.


P.S. Happy Earth Day, sister!!


*Heart* Nicki
** Image ID #1416048 Unavailable **
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Review by NickiD89
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1414245 Unavailable **


In appreciation of your generous participation in "Invalid Item, I have selected two of your portfolio items for the Site Wide Care Review. This one is for Death at Rosewood Mansion:


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: The ease with which your words flow so seamlessly as you weave a tale is astounding. The amount of detail and intrigue you finesse into the confines of such a limited word count gives evidence to your incredible ability as a writer.


*Star* What I liked: It's all in the details, and you are a master at details! You made wonderful use of the deadly sins without obvious statements; but they were all there in the details. Bravo!

*Question* Suggestions: Don't change a thing! *Smile*

*Check3* Grammar/spelling Oops: Your grasp of grammatical rules and punctuation usage is obvious.


*Star* Overall, an impressive short that hit its mark perfectly. Thanks for sharing with us!

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*Heart* Nicki
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Review of PLAYED FOR A FOOL  
Review by NickiD89
Rated: E | (5.0)
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In appreciation of your generous participation in "Invalid Item, I have selected two of your portfolio items for the Site Wide Care Review. This one is for Played For A Fool:


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: A poem that captures beautifully the voice of a strong, newly-independent woman. I feel like cheering her on!!


*Star* What I liked: I loved the emoticon at the end of the last line. What better punctuation mark than that?!! *Laugh*


*Question* Suggestions: This is perfect the way it is. *Smile*

*Check3* Grammar/spelling Oops: Great use of punctuation throughout.


*Star* Thanks for sharing this angry poem tinged with a humor! I enjoyed it very much!

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*Heart* Nicki
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424
424
Review of I DON'T KNOW  
Review by NickiD89
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1414245 Unavailable **


In appreciation of your generous participation in "Invalid Item, I have selected two of your portfolio items for the Site Wide Care Review. This one is for I Don't Know:


*Flower4* Initial Reaction: A beautiful piece of poetry with poignant emotion. Without saying what the loss of dreams represents, you allow each reader to interpret the words; and so their meaning comes alive for each member of your audience. This is what makes this poem so powerful!


*Star* What I liked: There is a balance in the presentation of this piece that evens out the overall emotional impact of the poem. The light airy feel of the images flanking the text, for example, eases the heaviness of lines like, Chains have been broken; I was thrust into a world of lies. Fantastic job!


*Question* Suggestions: I have none, this is perfect the way it is. *Smile*

*Check3* Grammar/spelling Oops: None.


*Star* Overall, a piece that is resonating still with me. Thanks for sharing this powerful poem!!

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*Heart* Nicki
** Image ID #1416048 Unavailable **
425
425
Review by NickiD89
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
My God, Kiya -- this is beautiful!! I am so moved, with the gorgeous music filtering through the words i am reading, I feel inspired. You have done a great thing here, reminding us all to honor and protect the home of our future grandbabies. Thank you!

*Heart* Nicki
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