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3,120 Public Reviews Given
3,261 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest but encouraging *Smile* I use an outline (form)to make sure I've covered all the bases but within that, it's pure dialogue. Let's talk about your write.
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Short Stories and better at Poetry
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401
401
Review of The Lost Kingdom  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi marylou4

My name is Ken and I'm judging the current round of "Invalid Item" . It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "The Lost Kingdom" .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
Who says a poem has to run on for pages to communicate? Haiku can do it in seventeen syllables (at least in English *Laugh*).

*Starv* Creativity/Impact:
I love your approach, MaryLou. Haiku is a very unique form but, the more I thought about it, the more I appreciated what you did tackling this prompt with this beautiful Asian form. Bravo!

*Staro* Message/Theme:
I believe that your point was good will always overcome evil. I think the message got a bit mixed with the opening line: "The kingdom is lost." It seemed like such a contradiction to the rest of the poem.

*Starg* Technique/Technical Notes:
This wasn't a true "haiku" - a haiku focuses on nature, frequently includes or suggests a season word (kigo), and relates a moment of discovery/surprise (the "aha!" moment) with each line offering a distinct image. Senryu (which this would be classified as) include only references to some aspect of human nature (physical or psychological) or to human artifacts. They possess no references to the natural world and thus have no season words. You can find a good discussion of the differences (as well as some useful tips on writing haiku/senryu here  )

*Check2* Grammar/Wording: Choosing the right words is critical in such a short form. In your opening line, the first question I had was "what kingdom?" By inference, I assume you're referring to God's kingdom. Remember, we have members from all over the world and many may not understand without your reference points. Why not make it clear? "Creation's kingdom" "God's Most Holy Kingdom" "The kingdom of heaven" My second question was "how is it lost?"

*Check3* Form/Flow: You executed the 5/7/5 form well and each line was an independent thought. Well done.

*Check4* Poetic devices: None - nor should there be *Smile* Most poetics don't work with haiku.

*Check5* Emotion/Imagery: I think the imagery was clear but also felt a bit cliched. Anyone who was raised in the christian faith has heard this almost as a mantra since childhood.

*Starr* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* An enjoyable read both for the attempt and for the familiarity. Your own faith comes through clearly. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
402
402
Review of Valentine Gift  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Celeste *Smile*

I ran across your contest as a listing in "Contest Central Station"  and thought I'd take a peek. When I first started by poetic journey, haiku and senyru were my passion. I loved the complexity hidden in what appears to be a simple form.

I really enjoyed this one. While the "aha" moment I felt was muted by including "is" (it makes the poem seem a single thought rather than having a turn). Perhaps it's just me - last line "spelled G-O-D-I-V-A" would have been a bit more in keeping with the form - nonetheless, the humor is not lost in the least and this really is a well done poem.

Thoroughly enjoyable and filled with smiles for the thought and appreciation for the talent shown.

I'll have to try my hand in the next round - only 30 days in April *Laugh*

Well done and thank you ...

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
403
403
Review of LOVE ME AGAIN  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Julie *Smile*

What a sad story of love lost to the ravages of time and misfortune. It reminds me of Ian Flemming's words: "Everything I write has a precedent in life."

I love the use of the refrain - it adds a poignancy to the overall poem without being disruptive in the least.

Excellent write, my friend ...

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
404
404
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Julie *Bigsmile*

What an enchanting tale. From the sounds of it, you've run into these mischief makers before!

Great story, even smooth rhyme, good meter that flows when read aloud. Don't change a thing, my dear!

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
405
405
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Ben *Bigsmile*

I saw you were playing in the Pond and had to see what "poetizing" you came up with for this. *Laugh* This is such a difficult form from a poet's viewpoint. It's really hard to make it flow and have it make sense. I thought you did a good job and, being a pilot, I can appreciate where you came from in this write!

As to the form, the "trigger" words have to be syllables 5,6,7, and 8 in the closing couplet. In the final line, it should read "wrecked plane" to keep true to the form.

Nicely done! Good luck,

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
406
406
Review of I WAIT FOR YOU  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi COUNTRYMOM-JUST REMEMBER ME

It's just me, Ken, and remember, you asked me *Laugh*. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "I WAIT FOR YOU"  on behalf of the "Gang's Monthly Review Board" .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
This was definitely bittersweet, relating to love lasting beyond the grave.

*Starv* Creativity/Impact:
This was imaginative considering you're writing this from an angel's perspective. Now, I agree - you're an angel but not the kind with wings.

*Staro* Plot/Content:
I've recently changed my reviewing format to expand a bit about various aspects of poetry. I offer you the following more as food for thought and not as criticism.

Title: The title is the first thing that prospective readers will see. I thought your title was inviting. I know I struggle with this aspect more than writing the poem itself usually. I'm sure some will look just to see what you're talking about - I did! . Since it is the only thing a prospective reader will see while scanning the list of items in a writers port, it serves as the advertisement of the poets imagination. I think you used it effectively.

Imagery: Imagery is the lifeblood of a poem. The poet uses words which paint pictures to evoke some reaction. In this case, your imagery is in keeping with the intent of the poem but I think you "internalized" a lot since you're dealing with emotions. Your opening verse I thought was the best - the image of an hourglass is a wonderful metaphor for both time passing and the moments of life slipping away. It sets the tone/mood for the poem but the rest was rather straight forward. Overall, well written.

Rhythm: Rhythm refers to the pattern of sounds made by varying the stressed and unstressed syllables in a poem. It also has to do with a similar metrical length in each line. This was written in quatrains and you kept a (fairly) consistent meter which I thought really helped me get into the rhythm of the read.

Rhyme: The most important aspect of making a poem flow is rhyme. I always look to see whether the rhymes were natural and sensible or artificial and forced and whether you used "perfect rhymes" or "near rhymes." I noticed your use perfect rhymes (except in the opening couplet *Laugh*) throughout which made this flow seamlessly.

*Starg* Technique/Technical Notes:
I didn't notice any SPAGs (spelling, punctuation, and grammar). My only confusion came at the end of verse one. You write "and find a shadow of memory in your mind." I'm guessing that you meant you were a shadow of memory in your love's mind? If so, you might want to add "I'm a" just to clarify.

*Starr* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* An enjoyable if a bit disturbing read. Your faith comes through clearly and your belief that you and your love will see each other again sets a hopeful tone. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today ... and don't you be making any plans to move on soon. You're still loved and needed here! *Bigsmile*

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
407
407
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Guppi *Bigsmile*

My name is Ken and you were kind enough to review one of my stories earlier. I see you're relatively new here; if no one's mentioned it, Welcome to WDC! I'm happy you found us and decided to join our community. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Please, I'm Not That Mean!"  on behalf of the "Gang's Monthly Review Board" . In looking over your port, I see you have a variety of writings. I picked this one because it hadn't been rated and, I'll admit it, I was curious *Laugh*.

Now, normally I use a review format to make sure I give complete feedback but this is short and really, as a letter, I'm not really sure that my "checklist" would have anything to offer. That said, as I read this I was struck by how much this felt like a blog entry. I went back and checked and you're not blogging. Why not? It's perfect for these kind of tidbits. You can find out how to start one at this link: Blogs  .

Now, on to your review *Smile*. You wrote this as an open letter to someone you think you may have offended with a smart remark. My first instinct was to question "Why all the background?" Obviously, they would have known the situation. Then, as I thought about it, I realized that without a name or other identifying features, they may not know this was intended for them so of course you had to include it. Score one for Guppii *Laugh*

I think that whether or not you write stories, poetry, or something else, the true purpose is to communicate; to share a part of who we are (even when we don't intend to) with our audience. From that standpoint, I think this was a successful write. Of course, I also think that the odds of her ever reading this is about the same as my chances of winning the lottery *Laugh* but you and I are both dreamers, aren't we. It's the possibilities that we see that keep us going.

Keep dreaming ... keep writing.

Ken

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
408
408
Review of Freedom  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Johanna

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Freedom"  on behalf of the "Gang's Monthly Review Board" . I see you're new to WDC. Welcome to the community! I hope that you find whatever you're seeking and stay a while. I think you'll find us a welcoming and encouraging group. If we can help or you have questions, please feel free to ask.

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
I saw this as a poem about a relationship (most likely yours *Smile*) that started when you were young and ended when he left for the bigger world. You never actually say if it was a friendship or more but certainly the impression is that it was more ... not on his part, but on your part.

*Starv* Creativity/Impact:
This was imaginative and I thought using the metaphor of running to describe your reactions at various points in your life was refreshingly unique. It worked in communicating the rush of time and allowing us a certain understanding of his focus (and your own reaction.)

*Staro* Plot/Content:
I look for several things when it comes to poetry (especially free verse). I offer you the following more as food for thought (except where it isn't *Laugh*).

Title: The title is the first thing that prospective readers will see. I thought your title was a bit vague and perhaps even misleading. "Freedom" can mean many things and I never felt you offered me a definition of what we were talking about. I know you used the word several times but you also left me confused about whose freedom you were talking about. I'm not sure your title (or the preview) prepares the reader for what the poem offers. I know I struggle with this aspect more than writing the poem itself usually. Think of the title as the advertisement for your poem. It's a tool that you have available so use it to get reader's to open the door and come in.

Imagery: Imagery is the lifeblood of a poem. The poet uses words which paint pictures to evoke some reaction. Rather than telling about some vague concept, he shows it through images that clearly project aspects and associations with other entities or events, stirring an emotional response from the reader. Your imagery uses repetition to show the nuances of change over time to capture emotional content. I thought this actually worked well until the final verse. Here, you muddied the waters by changing references and I lost the thread of meaning with words like "forever" and "finish line" without context to understand what you were talking about.

Rhythm: The term free verse implies total freedom from any type of design or structure. That is not the case at all. The poet must specifically design the title, lines,and stanzas. These are the visual aids that must be used successfully to create emphasis and to carry the reader to the main significance of the writing. In free verse, the line endings are used to create emphasis so each line break should be used to create the drama and add meaning to the verse. I felt I understood why you structured the poem the way you did. Just remember, it's a tool you have at your disposal so use it wisely!

*Starg* Technique/Technical Notes:
Poetry is a form of art in which language is used for its aesthetic and evocative qualities in addition to (or sometimes in lieu of *Smile*), its apparent meaning. Prose is the most typical form of language. The English word 'prose' is derived from the Latin prōsa, which literally translates as 'straight-forward." If I were to take out the line breaks and made each verse a single line, I'd be pretty much reading a sentence. I think your use of metaphor and versification keeps this on the poetry side but I point it out just so you're aware of it. Free verse is not natural language with odd line breaks. *Laugh*. I didn't notice any SPAGs (spelling, punctuation, and grammar).

*Starr* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* This was an interesting read. I enjoyed what you did accomplish and I think - until the final verse - you were successful in sharing your vision of a changing (some would say maturing) relationship. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
409
409
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Miles

It's just me, Ken, and as promised I'm here to "discover" you *Laugh*. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Love is happiness, but to whom?"  on behalf of the "Gang's Monthly Review Board"  .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
I think you've made your point about the feelings you have for Ana although there's a hesitation - perhaps confusion is a better word - that I sense in this write.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
Unrequited love is one of the "bread and butter" subjects for poets. These are your feelings and that makes this a unique write. I see two main reasons to write a poem of this type - to express your feelings (a cathartic write) or to explore your feelings (an swearching write). This was, to me, clearly cathartic and so is personal and less open to readers for their own enlightenment.

*Starb* Plot/Content:
You've written this straight forward - "this is what I feel" without embellishment. As I stated, there seems to be a bit of confusion in your words. Perhaps is just the normal angst we all feel when we write and share these personal moments with the general public. It could also be that your unsure of just what it is you feel. Certainly, your attraction of Ana is clear but there's also a sense that some how, you don't feel deserving that your feelings should be reciprocated. That, my friend, is a fallacy. We are all deserving. You end your poem on a martyr's note. The secret to good poetry is always be honest. Trust me when I say, we all tell ourselves things that are less than true and because of that, we can immediately recognize it when we see it in others. I challenge you in your next write to explore your feelings. Really look at them and find the real poetry.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
The confusion continues *Smile* You began this as rhyme and ended it in free verse. Now, don't take this as a criticism - it's not. Poetry is not that simple and how your approach it is a function of what makes sense to you. It felt to me like you were struggling to find the right words and still keep a rhythm and rhyme so you went with the words and not structure. That's perfectly fine but, as a suggestion, always go with the words. Trying to force a rhyme leads to awkwardness such as in the last line of verse one: but if I cared, these feelings would be a shame. In truth, you do care that she doesn't feel the same and your own feelings aren't shameful.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* I found this to be an enjoyable but not a very enlightening read. Your feelings comes through clearly and I found myself with questions, not answers. *Smile* Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1739575 Unavailable ** ** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
410
410
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi turtlemoon-dohi }

My name is Ken (which I hope by now you know *Bigsmile*) and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "This Is Not A Sad Song"  on behalf of the "Gang's Monthly Review Board"  .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
Strong, powerful, full of heart.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
I'm so tired of everyone complaining about lost love and how it made the world come to an end. For good or evil, it is and we deal with it and move on. Those with true strength find it's not the end of the world but just a new beginning. How marvelous is that? Your writing shows that side of the heart and all I can say is "Bravo."

*Starb* Plot/Content:
Very nice opening stanza - sets the mood without being maudlin. From there, I feel the positive energy begin to flow. We all (well those beyond the age of ... say 25) have experienced a broken or at least deserted heart. It's what we do then that makes the experience either earth shaking or lays a foundation for what's to come. You've found that strength comes in many shades and moved beyond the moment is a positive way. Let me tell you young'n (yes, I checked birth dates LOL) you have found the secret to a happy life - the belief that everything happens (whether for a reason or not is immaterial) and we can chose how that affects us. I admire the strength and wisdom found in words.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
I didn't notice any SPAGs (spelling, punctuation, and grammar). While this was written in free verse (of which I'm not a fan) it was written well. Most write it as prose with line breaks to give it the appearance of poetry. There is a rationale to what you've created and I can see the poetry within it.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* There is nothing to advise or comment on. I found this a truly enjoyable read. Your strength comes through clearly and I found myself smiling at your victory. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

PS Be serious *Laugh* No way am I accepting your auto-reward GPs after all you've done for me. I'm sending them back. Save them for a newbie *Smile*

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
411
411
Review of the same moon  
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi christo

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "the same moon"  [E] as a fellow Rising Star and on behalf of the "Random Thoughts and Cares"  [13+]

*Starr* First Impression/Thoughts:
Good inspiration and some wonderful poetic lines.

*Starr* Creativity/Impact:
I loved the inspiration/concept of this. I thought (and agree) that each act lives far beyond us in the continuum of time and space. There is a certain comfort in realizing that.

*Starr* Plot/Content:
You advertised this as thoughts on memory and moon's role but, in actuality, this is really more about a specific memory of yours and your contemplation of how it will live beyond you. There are elements of a love poem written in this too with your specific memory of sharing laughter with someone (albeit not present *Smile*). You've woven a lot of emotion into this with the plaintive voice used and melancholy it invokes.

*Starr* Technique/Technical Notes:
Well done in terms of spelling, grammar, and the use of punctuation (however sparsely scattered LOL). Now, let's talk a bit about vers libre for those who consider themselves experts or free verse for you and I *Laugh*. Free verse is not free. It retains the elements of poetry without the rhyme. You've done a good job using versification and using poetic language to keep common ground with traditional poetry. Something to think about - with free verse, the poem structure itself is part of the poetry. Each line (or line break) should be there for a reason. I did find it odd that you didn't use any periods but used commas and semicolons. I'd recommend consistency.

*Starr*Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star* *Star* *Star* *Star* As I began, I love the idea you've woven into this and some of your lines are wonderfully descriptive, bringing to mind beautiful images. I'll admit (and it's probably me - not being a free verse writer) I didn't understand why you structured the poem the way you did. I didn't see it as supporting your message and I found it distracted me from really allowing the poem to work its magic in my consciousness.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

PS - this is offered on behalf of the Rising Stars so I'm returning your GPs. Keep writing!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
412
412
Review of Focus  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
And just what "voice" told you this tale? *Laugh* Never mind, I'm just glad it did. Wonderfully creepy and flawless as usual.

This "horror" side of you is - to date - not one I've seen before. Really, a great little tale that's all the more scary because I can easily envision it happening.

Thanks for letting me read it ... just before bedtime. If I have nightmares, it's all your fault! *Laugh*

Ken *Bigsmile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
413
413
Review of Day One  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Jim *Bigsmile*

"So, you thought you could slip back without saying "Hi" did you?" said the digitized voice (played in the subsequent movie by Scarlett Johansson)
*Laugh* A usual, you found an entertaining story within the phrase. Very well done and always a fun read.

Hope your Christmas was merry and that the New Year heralds the publication of your book!

Best Wishes,

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
414
414
Review of Notes to Self....  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi FILLMYEYES

My name is Ken and I'm helping to judge Round 6 of "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest" . It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Notes to Self...."  on behalf of the contest and "Gang's Monthly Review Board" .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
A very touching write. I think we all have these "notebooks" - whether real or mental - that we keep our life's memories in.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
This was an introspective write about reviewing your life and celebrating the moments that bring you to the now. I thought it was a creative way to address the subject whether the notebooks were real or metaphorical. I noticed that you drifted (rather quickly) to focus on the ribbons which I though weakened the initial thrust of the write but still, overall, a very insightful and enjoyable write.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
I use the definition "Free verse is an open form of poetry. It does not use consistent meter patterns, rhyme, or any other musical pattern. It tends to follow the rhythm of natural speech." I thought you did very well with this. I didn't notice any SPAGs (spelling, punctuation, and grammar). One suggestion - every word and phrase needs to contribute to the meaning of your poem so give as much care to the structure as you do the overall words. As an example, you write:
Remembering that shadows
dwell even in the darkest places.
This places emphasis on shadows.

Compare to:
Remembering that shadows dwell
even in the darkest places.
This places emphasis on the what shadows do.

A subtle difference but one that can add emphasis to what you want to convey to the reader.

Something to think about *Smile*

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* An enjoyable read. I thought it reached an emotional level although I think you were going for a "happy ending" *Laugh* which some will appreciate but not every poem has to end with the last line. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1739575 Unavailable ** ** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
415
415
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
As I've come to expect, excellent write!

Kudos for the creativity, the imaginative story line, and for the win *Bigsmile*

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
416
416
Review of July 1863  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi PandaPaws Licensed VetTech

It's just me,Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "July 1863"  on behalf of the "Gang's Monthly Review Board"  .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
Okay, I don't want to hear you whining about how I always beat you. *Laugh* Excellent work and congratulations!

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
I love historical poems and this was a great one about the Civil War. You've brought such color and depth to a horrible time in our history and taken it from words to images that haunt the reader.

*Starb* Plot/Content:
This poem takes us through an imaginary day during the Civil War. Your word choice is excellent, drawing images of the terrible conditions that the war was fought under. We follow the defeated Rebels as they wearily retreat. Your poignant ending "he mournful cries of wounded men, / Drown out the crickets' song." encapsulates the horror of the time. Brilliantly composed and written.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
Since this was "free verse" there's no right or wrong. I didn't notice any SPAGs (spelling, punctuation, and grammar). This was a sad write that will touch any reader and more than that, you can't ask.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* An enjoyable read that reminds of us the terrible price of war, then and now. Your compassion comes through clearly. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1739575 Unavailable ** ** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
417
417
Review of Journey to Live  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Aundria,

It's just me, Ken. I'm not sure why nobody is commenting on this form. I've had lots of views and not a single review. I suspect it's because it's such an odd form. Well, let's break the mold LOL. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Journey to Live"  on behalf of the "Gang's Monthly Review Board"  .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
I thought your ending, Shadows and Light, were a great capture of the image used as a prompt.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
I think I understand what the creator of this form was going for ... but I didn't see it his examples *Laugh* I think you attempted to keep the contrast up in the lines of the poem - showing the shadow and light. Very well done.

*Starb* Plot/Content:
Hmmm. There is no plot. *Laugh* I see this form as a complete oxymoron - it's a structured stream of consciousness poem. I think it's really more of a puzzle, fitting the words into the next line, all the while working toward an ending that makes sense. Some of your lines were obviously centered on the image - time is a train, etc. - some seemed more "first thing that popped into my head." The do, however all seem to flow well and lead inevitably to your point of shadows and light.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
You got the most out of this form that you could. You followed the form perfectly - my only comment is that it did say "There should be no punctuation." and I question the use of ellipses at the end although in the example they do. *Confused* I don't know and couldn't find anything else on the form online.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* An interesting read. Your creativity comes through clearly. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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418
418
Review of Avian Inclination  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Don Two

My name is Ken and it is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Avian Inclination"  on behalf of the "Gang's Monthly Review Board" .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
I see you've been here for a while. I'm surprised I haven't run across you before. Outstanding use of language!

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
I thought your story was excellent - and I'm impressed with your use of language. It has a flow and substance to it.

*Starb* Plot/Content:
A robin has fallen in love with you. It pecks at the window, lands on your shoulder if you don’t brush it off, follows you, even when you drive in the car. You did a great job explaining its presence. I thought your "solution" was both colorful and practical. I absolutely loved the ending - "yet I do sometimes find an elderberry vine on my doorstep." Unrequited love - the manna of poets *Laugh*.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
You wrote this in free verse. Here's something for you to consider. Free verse is, despite its freedom, not entirely free. It still needs to feel like poetry, whether it's in the use of verses, poetic norms, or simply the use of poetic lines. I found parts of this poetic but primarily, this read like prose. Prose tends to be more "matter-of-fact" and is closest to spoken language even when you include complex words. Just because you broke it into lines doesn't make this any the less coherent but it is really sentences and paragraphs. You could just as easily made this 48 lines or 36 lines.

I don't want you to take this as a criticism. Each poet finds his or her own voice and style. I do, however, offer this as something to think about when you're writing.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* An thoroughly enjoyable read. Your use of language is to be admired. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
419
419
Review of just leaves...  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Gemma -

Not only fun but the kind of poem that will make you tear your hair out *Laugh*

My one attempt was "Invalid Item"  - even the name is a palindrome LOL

Yours seem to loose a bit of steam at the turn - "like sunlight shattered she" I kept wanting to say "her". Still I appreciate the effort that goes into writing one of these and I enjoyed reading it! Thank you for sharing ...

Ken


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420
420
Review of you see  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Gemma.

My name is Ken and I'm always curious about folks who read and comment on my work. Lo and behold, you're a newbie *Bigsmile* and just joined today. Welcome to WDC! I hope you find a home for your talent and imagination here. I see you just have the one poem posted so, I'm honored to be your first reviewer on this site. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "you see"  on behalf of the "Gang's Monthly Review Board" .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
So few words, such depth of meaning.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
I'm a sucker for deep images and this was wonderfully imaginative.

*Starb* Plot/Content:
You've taken an everyday occurrence and found it's hidden meaning. A piece of cake abandoned becomes a photograph of what has passed, left deserted and forgotten. I admire your ability to see the obvious and discover its meaning.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
I'll admit - I'm not a big fan of Free Verse (or vers libre as those with airs like to say *Smile*). Not that I don't appreciate it, it's more like I can't write it well *Laugh*. Besides, I tend to be a natural rhymer. That said - successful free verse retains the elements of poetry without the rhyme. In the end, it still needs to feel like poetry, whether it's in the use of verses, poetic norms, or simply the use of poetic lines. I found this to be excellent, painting a vivid image and eliciting an emotional response. One last thought (and it's just my own opinion). I've always believed that every element of a poem contributes to the whole. I free verse, poets tend to scatter words across a page looking for aesthetics - not meaning. Each line, each space, each indentation should be looked at to see what it contributes to the meaning of your writing. Just something to think about *Smile*

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* A thoroughly enjoyable read. I suspect that while you're new to the site, you're not new to poetry. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
421
421
Review of Bad Poetry  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Happy Mom's Day 2024!

It's just me, Ken. I haven't seen you around in a while - so, either welcome back or Yay, I finally cleaned my glasses *Laugh*. I saw you post this and couldn't pass up a chance to say "Happy Birthday!" It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Bad Poetry"  on behalf of the "Gang's Monthly Review Board" .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
Scorpios are fiercely independent. They are able to accomplish anything they put their mind to and they won't give up - and so whether you think of this as "bad" poetry or not, it's not surprising that you were going to write this and you did! *Bigsmile*

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
This was imaginative any way you look at it. I mean, how many others write their own birthday announcement? LOL Seriously, you found the perfect - and dare I say unique - way of using the prompts.

*Starb* Plot/Content:
This is a birthday announcement - pure and simple - but cleverly done. In this we learn that tomorrow is your birthday, you're a Scorpio, you're a Mom, and most likely an American (we do day, month, year; most of the rest of the world does year, month, day). Additionally, due to the unique sequencing that only happens once every 100 years, tomorrow's date is 11/12/13.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
OK - I know you're a good poet so there's really nothing to say that you don't already know about meter, rhyme, etc. This was a fun write and I, for one, am not going to spoil the fun of this with some long discussion that really doesn't apply anyway.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* A fun and informative read. Happy Birthday - may this be the best year of your life! Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
422
422
Review of A Time to Panic  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi JimS

My name is Ken. I'm glad to see you here at the Daily Flash Fiction contest - fresh ideas are always welcome. *Smile* It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "A Time to Panic"  on behalf of the "Gang's Monthly Review Board"  .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
I'm a SciFi fan, so this was a welcome read. Time travel and time warps - what a fun subject.

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
This was a fresh take on the time warp story, with the duplicates showing up and disappearing. Very inventive.

*Starb* Plot/Content:
Our hero "Mr. Rick" has been hired to install a new clock. By mistake, he installs the nuclear core by mistake and the adventure begins *Laugh*. With only 300 words, I thought you did an excellent job in setting up the story and bringing me into the conflict. Your "customer" - although mostly out of the story - added a real touch of humor as he dispassionately comments on the obvious.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
I didn't notice any spelling, punctuation, and grammar issues.Your writing shows you take as much care with the technical crafting of your story as you do with the artistic crafting of the content. My only comment would be on using indented paragraphs. These days most writing follows the full-block style, with nothing indented. If you look at the page, especially in short writes like this, it appears that half the page is indented due to the shortness of the lines. The full-block style makes the page look more uniform. It's your call - not a criticism, only an observation.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* An very enjoyable read right down to "pun" of your title. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1739575 Unavailable ** ** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
423
423
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Arakun the Twisted Raccoon

It's just me, Ken *Bigsmile*. Thank you for sharing this wonderful tale. Since I have to do my "WDC duty" and review, I'd like to share my thoughts on this. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "How I Defeated A Troll"  on behalf of the "Gang's Monthly Review Board"  .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
What a great story and a clever strategy to use with kids. I've a granddaughter who will be hearing this story soon. *Laugh*

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
This was an imaginative tale, all the more so because it was a real story - not some fictional piece made up to calm a worried child.

*Starb* Plot/Content:
This is the story of how you conquered your nightmares as a child. I never thought of children's stories as a source of nightmares but now that you mention it, it makes sense. So many of the Grimm stories really are horror tales - taking the kids into the woods and leaving them through classics like Cinderella and Snow White. I guess from an adults point of view we'd see it as teaching good wins over bad, forgetting that children don't always see our stories through adult eyes *Laugh*. You make a great (if indirect) point. I love that you and your daughter were able to write a final happy ending to this. Well done.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
I didn't notice any spelling, punctuation, and grammar issues. I really appreciate that your writing shows you take as much care with the technical crafting of your story as you do with the crafting of the content.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* A totally entertaining read. I can see that your creativity extends well beyond the writing of stories into the realm of parenting. *Bigsmile* Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
424
424
Review of The Secret  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Ruth Draves

My name is Ken and I appreciate that you took time to review my Daily Flash story so I thought it only fair to see what was in your port *Bigsmile*. I see you're also relatively new here; *Confettir* Welcome to WDC. *Confettio* It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "The Secret"  on behalf of the "Gang's Monthly Review Board"  .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
Almost a little to close to truth to be thought of as fiction. Kids and their curiosity!

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
I thought that this was very creative and serves as a warning to parents - whatever you think about firearms, they are dangerous and need to be kept unloaded and locked away.

*Starb* Plot/Content:
This is a mini-morality play. Kids, who the parents obviously thought were mature enough to be left alone, find "Grandpa's souvenir gun" and accidentally discharge it into the living room floor. Fortunately, no one is hurt and they find a creative way to cover up their mistake. I think you have the right balance of narrative and dialogue and keep the story moving well. The dialogue is natural sounding and the ending is so typical of siblings I almost think you've heard this before *Smile*. Nicely told tale.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
I didn't notice any spelling, punctuation, and grammar issues. I really appreciate that your writing shows you take as much care with the technical crafting of your story as you do with the artistic crafting of the content.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Star* An enjoyable read. I found this both entertaining and a great warning to readers that, hopefully, will make them think. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

** Image ID #1739575 Unavailable ** ** Image ID #1947700 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
425
425
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi DeKalb Daddy

My name is Ken. Thank you for inviting me to review this. It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Father Donnely: Exorcist"  on behalf of the "Gang's Monthly Review Board" .

*Starb* First Impression/Thoughts:
This is a good, solid beginning to a longer story. It's almost unfair that I review it now since the best I can do is give you some hints without knowing the complete story line. *Smile*

*Starb* Creativity/Impact:
This was imaginative but, in the end, it seemed familiar. I think that expanding your descriptions and making them more observations by Matthew and less narrative can add that feeling of originality that I don't feel yet. I've given you a specific example in the email I'm sending. That said, here's what I've seen so far ...

*Starb* Plot/Content:
This is the "setting up" to an exorcism story. Our protagonist, Matt Brower, is a reporter who wants to do a story on exorcism. He's referred to Fr. Donnely as an expert to get information. After being turned down, initially, Fr. Donnely has a change of heart and agrees (seemingly) to help. I think you've a good balance between dialogue and narrative which is great for keeping the reader "in the story." For me, your descriptions are very vanilla *Smile*. As an example in your opening " It is an unspectacular, brown, brick building, with white-framed windows that need a fresh coat of paint." Instead consider adding some texture to your writing such as: The rectory address was a nondescript brown brick building. At first glance, it seemed in character with the grounds before I noticed the peeling paint and weather stains on white-framed windows. Use of descriptions can set up the emotional feelings before the first word is spoken. Simple contrasts like peeling paint can add an element of mystery.

*Starb* Technique/Technical Notes:
I didn't notice many SPAGs (spelling, punctuation, and grammar). Your use of writing conventions is very well done. I really appreciate that your writing shows you take as much care with the technical crafting of your story as you do with the artistic crafting of the content. I did notice that when you use dialogue, you tend to make it sentences and then add the descriptor, such as "We're making progress." he countered. Instead of a period after "progress" it should be a comma since the sentence runs through "he countered." I've called out these and few other suggestions which I'll email you with a line by line assessment.

*Starb* Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
*Star**Star**Star**Halfstar* An enjoyable read. I'm curious as to where this will take you *Bigsmile* and I'll check back to see who your story progresses. Thank you for sharing your imagination and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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