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251
Rated: E | (5.0)
Just a short note to let you know I REALLY liked this poem. It carries so much truth and such a great message. I think this is one of my favorites from you. Very nice job with the prompt and wonderful message! I hope you have an awesome weekend! TTYS,
Tracey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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252
Review of word magic  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Reading* This is really nice, Rhyssa. It definitely has the sing-song value, that was requested. I really enjoyed your second stanza, which is so easily relate-able:

as back and forth the hours turn
the line to dance is faint and blurred
so light the candles, watch them burn

It's amazing how many hours can pass by while writing (or on WDC) *Shock*

You did a fantastic job using all the prompt words and the rhyming scheme, which was requested in the contest.

NICE JOB!

*Note* WRITE ON! *Note*

*Heart* Tracey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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253
Review of I Love the 2000s  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Cool contest. I'll definitely try to submit a poem *Smile* Are those the actual prompts? You may want to put a header up, announcing that those ARE the prompts for the contest, and not just examples. *Smile* I'd also put some color in it, by making the wording different colors, under each heading. You may also want to make a set of rules (what you allow and don't allow) Put down the judges, or you under the judge. And under prizes, I'd put what size awardicon, etc... you will award. Will the prize size depend on how many entries you get? Also under donations, what kind of award will you be giving for 25K and plus donations?

Do you have any idea of what kind of graphic you'd like? Do you want just big numbers saying "The 2000's" or just "2000's"? Any ideas of what you're looking for? Just let me know. I'll be happy to help you if I can. *Smile*

Tracey
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254
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Reading* Hi Arakun the Twisted Raccoon . I am reviewing your activity as part of "The Talent Pond"  [ASR], on behalf of "a very Wodehouse challenge"  [E]. Plus, I will be entering the contest, so wanted to get familiar with the rules, prompts, etc... *Bigsmile*

You have this contest laid out nicely. Everything anyone needs to know about the contest, is clearly and plainly displayed. You made sure to address just about any questions anyone could have. Nicely done! *Thumbsup*.

This contest is a nice addition to "The Talent Pond". The more activities I explore and review for this group, the more it's making me want to join. *Bigsmile* I look forward to getting caught up, so I may do so!

Nice contest, with fun and inspirational prompts. Thanks for hosting. *Bigsmile*

Tracey
255
255
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Reading* Hi Jeff . I'm reviewing your activity for "The Talent Pond"  [ASR], on behalf of "a very Wodehouse challenge"  [E]

I picked your activity to review, because I love blogging and reading blogs. I always have good intentions, but for some reason cannot (or do not) keep up with doing so on a regular basis. I enjoy reading nonfiction, and particularly 'real life nonfiction', so blogs are the perfect place to go and read. *Smile*

Congratulations on being the selected activity of the month for "The Talent Pond". Your activity is well organized and easy to read. You make all the instructions easy to follow, and to the point. I also enjoyed how you have each blog rating in a 'dock' of its own. Very nice! *Thumbsup*

I really like the idea for the merit badge challenges, but noticed that you haven't updated this since the end of May. One thing you may want to consider, is making an announcement, on when to expect the next challenge, so the members don't have to keep dropping in, wondering when the next Merit Badge contest is going to begin. *Wink*

I really enjoyed visiting your activity. I believe it's a very nice addition to "The Talent Pond"  [ASR].

Tracey
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256
Review of The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Reading* Hello, I'm reviewing "The Talent Pond"  [ASR], on behalf of my required activities from "a very Wodehouse challenge"  [E]

Your group page is laid out very nicely. I really like all the links and activities 'The Talent Pond' has for its members. The bitem links are easily seen and all the descriptions are nicely done. A very easy way to travel around the group, without getting lost. I also like the survey form to become a new member. The questions are thought out, without being too invasive or long-winded. *Bigsmile*

The information provided, lets the reader know what to expect when they join, and all the fringe benefits of becoming a member of such a wonderful group. I look forward to diving into it a bit deeper, and hopefully being able to have the time to become a member, shortly.

Thanks so much for sharing such a wonderful place for all WDC members!

Tracey
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257
In affiliation with Roots & Wings Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi DRSmith . I saw your writing on "Roots & Wings Contest"  [E] *Bigsmile*


*Reading* First off, that picture is amazing! I can't believe the size of the bull moose! And his racks are huge! One can truly appreciate the magnitude of his size, with your grandfather being in the photo as well! Beautiful. *Starstruck* I so enjoyed your story. The nostalgia and love definitely shine through your words. It must be truly wonderful having such fond childhood memories, (and fun to share!). I thought you did a wonderful job portraying your story to the reader. I could easily visualize each scene as I read, and smiled all throughout. A joy to read!

*Flower3* The Beginning- Awww . . . Reading your words transported me back to when times were simpler. Your description of the apple orchards and trout stream, made me want to jump right through the screen. It sounds like a beautiful place to live and raise a family. Your story about your mom and dad, reminded me of the story of my grandparents. It's a shame that so much family connection is lost, due to prejudices and pride. *Sad*

*Balloon2* The Title- I didn't know what Deux-Mille meant until I got to the end of your story. I thought that Deux may mean two/double, or something along those lines. But I knew Memoires so I read on to the description.

*Flower1* The Description- The description is nicely done and pulled me on in to want to read your story.

*Balloon4* The Ending- Wonderful, descriptive ending. It made me a little sad, that families just don't get together like that anymore. That it takes Christmas (or similar holiday) or funerals to bring the family together. I could tell how much you loved your childhood, and the stories you hold, just waiting to be told. Truly beautiful and special. *Heart*

*Flower3* The characterization- Your character descriptions were the strongest part of your story. You brought us up close and personal with each family member you told us about. It was as if we were in your head, reliving the memories with you. I don't think you could have done so any better! *Thumbsup*

*Balloon4* What I liked best about the story- I enjoyed the camaraderie in your story. The love and nostalgia coming from your words. I enjoyed the momentum and how your story flowed. Well done!

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I greatly enjoyed it!

*Note* WRITE ON! *Note*

Tracey





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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258
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Nixie Header for The Gift Shop This review was bought for you from "Invalid Item"  by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm with the message: 'I know I owe you more reviews than anyone, but for starters this will have to do. *Wink* Don't worry I'll make sure to swing by your port myself and drop a word or two
Enjoy! *Bigsmile*


*Reading* Oh no! Mom needs to take another nerve pill! Leave it to a precious little furbaby to totally destroy everything! *Laugh* This was a really cute story, filled with drama. Completed with this reader's pleas of sorrow for poor, ole' Mom. *Sad*

*Flower3* The Beginning- Cute beginning with description of the adorable kitten (who could believe anything bad could come from him?) lol and the family trying to get ready for Dad's birthday party. Mom is on high jitters, afraid something is going to go wrong. I believe Mom has strong intuitions~ *Laugh*

*Balloon2* The Title- Great title and great name for a cat! How can a title like that, not draw one's attention!

*Flower1* The Description- *Laugh* Great description. After I read it, I knew I had to read the story. Nice job!

*Balloon4* The Ending- UGH! This ending would be the kind you'd be covering one eye, while peeking out through fingers with the other, if you were watching it on T.V. A lot of action brought in toward and at the ending. One couldn't help but feel so sorry for the mom. Definitely a Murphy's Law party! The descriptions were well done and made it easily to visualize while I read.

*Flower3* The characterization- You did a great job fleshing out the characters. Especially to have so many in such a short story. Well done! *Thumbsup*

*Balloon4* What I liked best about the story- How you described the kitten and the ending scene with the kitten. *Laugh* Hilarious! You kept a great momentum throughout the whole story, building it to an excellent climax at the end. Nicely done!

Thanks so much for sharing your writing with us. I enjoyed it!

*Note* WRITE ON! *Note*

Tracey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Greed  
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi John Nation This is a review on behalf of "RAOK: Group Forum"  [E]. Enjoy! *Bigsmile*


*Reading* *SPOILER ALERT* Wow! He must of really hated his family. No matter their faults, that was pretty cruel, and pretty stingy. If he didn't want his family to have it, he could of left it to charity. What gets me is that he sold all of their possessions. He stripped them totally bare. So cruel. As you can see from my emotions to the story - it is well written *Bigsmile* I became intimately involved in the story.

*Flower3* The Beginning- Strong beginning! Right away, the reader gets a sense of the greed of the family and the loss of love between them.

*Balloon2* The Title- The title is exactly the right word to describe every single member of this family, including the father!

*Flower1* The Description- Simple description. I believe the reader will realize there's a lot unsaid behind it. *Smirk*

*Balloon4* The Ending- I had a feeling the rocket they were building was more than a telescope, and somehow he was going to be buried with all of his belongings. But to the extent that he did this, I would have never guessed. Great job on rounding up the story. You kept a great momentum throughout the whole piece, and I really enjoyed it. *Smile*

*Flower3* The characterization- Excellent job with all the characters. You made it very easy to visualize each one, and see how they were all greedy and hateful.

*Balloon4* What I liked best about the story- I enjoyed the whole feel of the story. I enjoyed the momentum in which it was told, and that it held my interest throughout the whole writing. Nicely done! *Thumbsup*

*Pencil* I have a couple of suggestions below. There's a couple of typos:

*Penb* Let's not have the last thing you every say to me be a lie.

*Penbl* a different woman in every city you bury in condos

a different woman in every city, you're buried in condos

Thank you for sharing your story with us!

*Note* WRITE ON! *Note*

Tracey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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260
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Mitchopolis , *UmbrellaB* This review is part of your shower from "Invalid Item" ! *UmbrellaB* Enjoy! *Bigsmile*
SAJ Umbrella that resembles SAJ Merit Badge


*Reading* Good story. I enjoyed reading about the Gulf of Mexico and a location, not far from where I live. *Delight* I'm from Pensacola, Florida. So I know the area of your story, well. Creepy story. That poor boy sure was desperate for excitement, for him not to run - thinking it was a dream or not, I don't think I would have stuck around. *Laugh* Especially when things got really nasty! *Sick*

*Flower3* The Beginning- Nice beginning. Strong start of the story. I also like how the beginning played into the story, a bit later on. Nicely done. *Thumbsup*

*Balloon2* The Title- *Laugh* Can't get much better (or clearer) than that. So, that's what happens when someone bored from the living and someone bored from the dead, meet. *Laugh* Not a good thing!

*Flower1* The Description- Bless his heart. So, things like this is where we get, be careful what you wish for. I've been wanting a little adventure myself - maybe I'm not as bored as I thought I was. *Wink* *Bigsmile*

*Balloon4* The Ending- Awwww . . . Ending was a bit sad. Poor guy just wanted a bit of adventure. But I don't think that's the kind of adventure he had in mind.

*Flower3* The characterization- Good job using descriptive language on the pirate. What we learned about the main character was that he was just sort of a sad, bored kind of fella, which made the ending, even more sad.

*Balloon4* What I liked best about the story- It was a good story. It moved at a good pace, keeping the reader entertained throughout.

I didn't notice any grammatical errors. Thanks for sharing your writing with us.

*Note* WRITE ON! *Note*

Tracey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
*UmbrellaB* Hi Jeannie Cheering for Martel , This review is part of your shower from "Invalid Item" ! *UmbrellaB* Enjoy! *Delight*
SAJ Umbrella that resembles SAJ Merit Badge


*Reading* Cute story. There's always something lurking in the woods and empty cabins, isn't there? *Pthb* One thing I noticed is you changed POV often in the story. One moment you'd be saying the two girls names, as in third person, then switch it, saying my or mine in first person. This can easily be fixed when you read through it out loud. Sometimes, it's harder to see these things in our own writings, but after being away from them for a little while, they're easier to spot. *Smile*

*Flower3* The Beginning- Started out showing both girls were ready for an adventure. With a picnic lunch packed up, they were ready to go.

*Balloon2* The Title- Good title. Creepy things always happen in the woods.

*Flower1* The Description- The description peaked my interest and made me want to read on. *Smile*

*Balloon4* The Ending- Ended with both of the girls safe out of the woods, with an experience they'd never forget.

*Flower3* The characterization- I think it would really help if you could tell us a bit more about the girls and their surroundings. It would help pull us into the story and get more intimate with what is happening to them.

*Pencil* I have a few of suggestions below. Please use or discard them, as you see fit. *Smile*

*Flower1* Running up tothe stairs to her room

*Balloon2* Abby untied the knot and placed the picnic

*Flower3* After tiding up their area first,

After tidying up their area first,

*Balloon4* crawling up my spine

crawling up her spine

*Flower5* Megan questioned Abby as she jogging beside her

Megan questioned Abby, as she jogged beside her,

Thanks for sharing your story with us.

*Note* KEEP WRITING! *Note*

Tracey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Gift for Natalie  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*UmbrellaB* Hi Charlie ~ This review is part of your shower from "Invalid Item" ! Enjoy! *UmbrellaB*
SAJ Umbrella that resembles SAJ Merit Badge


*Reading* This was a really good writing. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and was quite surprised of how it turned out. Very nice twist. I was wondering how the horror genre was going to fit into the piece. *Wink* *Laugh* I've said it before, and I'll say it again, the creepiest story is one which can actually happen!

*Flower3* The Beginning- You have a strong beginning, which pulls the reader on into the story. The story starts off benign enough. Not a trace of what is to come.

*Balloon2* The Title- I like your title. So sweet - perfect for the story. It sounds all innocent enough. *Wink*

*Flower1* The Description- The description made me want to read the piece. I wanted to know why Natalie didn't want her gift. After all, it's their tenth anniversary - that's a long time to be with someone, and not want a gift they're giving you.

*Balloon4* The Ending- Awwww . . . superb! Didn't see it coming at all. A twist perfectly done. *Bigsmile* I just have one suggestion. I'd delete the very last, short sentence: Some women, I swear. Read your last paragraph without this and see what you think. I believe the ending is stronger, without adding these last few words - it somehow takes away from the creepiness of your ending.

*Flower3* The characterization- Great job on showing us the personality of the main character. He's such a romantic kind of guy. *Smile*

*Balloon4* What I liked best about the story- The ending is my favorite. This is a strong writing, with good descriptive sentences and an excellent twist to the plot. Well rounded short story.

Thanks so much for sharing your writing with us!

*Note* WRITE ON! *Note*

Tracey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Insanity's Pain  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi DyrHearte writes . This is a review on behalf of
 Invalid Item  []

by A Guest Visitor
. *Bigsmile* Enjoy!
** Image ID #1729356 Unavailable **

*Reading* Hmmm ... I wouldn't want to be Fennris, she definitely has her hands full! There's actually a few ways the reader can interpret the actions and words of the Great-Grandmother. Is it from doing so many spells throughout the years, that she's aware of the evil always swirling about? Or is it that she's close to death, and therefore can pick up on those things which lurk in the shadows? Either one, you have to feel for her great-granddaughter. Always trying to take care of her great-grandmother, while keeping her calm, and trying to watch what she utters in front of the villagers. Poor girl.

*Flower3* The Beginning- Starts out nicely. We learn right away the state of the great-grandmother, and how Fennris tries to handle the difficult situation.

*Balloon2* The Title- Definitely a nice title. Caught my attention right away. Though, now reflecting back, after I've read the story, and reflect on your title, I wonder if that just doesn't mean her great-grandmother was just plumb crazy! *Laugh*

*Flower1* The Description- Good description. The story portrays why she is afraid for her grandmother.

*Balloon4* The Ending- Nice closing. A time for Fennris to be able to take a breather.

*Flower3* The characterization- Nice job on using dialogue to show the character of the great-grandmother.{c:violet

Thank you so much for sharing your writing with us.

*Note* WRITE ON! *Note*

Tracey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The Guesthouse  
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Reading* Hi Jeff . I enjoyed reading your writing, though it was disturbingly creepy! *Facepalm* These are the type of stories which scare me the most, because they can actually happen! It seems like that sick pervert would be caught by now. I mean the girls all stayed with him, and I'm sure they could get some DNA off of them. *Pthb* I was waiting for Antonia's grandfather ghost to show up and rescue her. *Bigsmile*

*Flower3* The Beginning- The beginning is mainly getting to know Antonia and her finding a place to stay. You did an excellent job describing her and her surroundings.

*Balloon2* The Title- Your title sounds so inviting. It holds none of the sinister truth which lies within the walls.

*Flower1* The Description- Here we get a suggestion that the guest house may hold some secrets, and maybe off-campus housing, isn't the best way to go.

*Balloon4* The Ending- EWWWW .... very creepy. Very scary. The worst kind of fear. You brought the ending to a nice, strong close. While still leaving a bit of mystery. Nice job!

*Flower3* The characterization- Great job on building your main character. We get to learn a lot about her. Also you did a nice job on the other characters and even the character of the house.

*Balloon4* What I liked best about the story- Even though it creeped me out, the ending was my favorite part. I also like the way you built momentum in your story. It starts out slow and unassuming and builds steadily throughout, until the climax at the end.

*Note4* I do have one suggestion below. I believe it's a typo:

renting the room out to students was necessary to supplement to his monthly social security check.

Thanks so much for sharing your writing with us!

*Note* WRITE ON! *Note*

Tracey
A new banner for The Dark Society.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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265
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Reading* Hi AngelWriterK , Welcome to WDC (writing.com)! It's so great that you just joined the day before yesterday, and already have a writing in your port (portfolio)! Congratulations. *Cool* I really enjoyed this writing. It is filled with descriptive language, which makes it easy to visualize the scenes, while reading. It's a nice, creative, suspenseful piece. Strong writing and nicely done!

*Flower3* The Beginning- The beginning grabbed the reader's attention from the first paragraph. I was already excited to read on, to find out what happens to the two friends.

*Balloon2* The Title- Caught my attention right away, and is what made me want to read the story. A forest with no return teases of events yet to happen, mysteries waiting to be solved. *Smile*

*Flower1* The Description- Excellent description. The keys words: mysterious, curious and warning, were definitely enough to tantalize me with promises of a great story, waiting to be read!

*Balloon4* The Ending- Such a surprising ending! Absolutely well done. You finished the story at a nice, increasing pace, undercovering mysteries and suspense. Bringing it to a nice, strong and satisfying close. *Delight*

*Flower3* The characterization- Great job using beautiful descriptive language. The interaction between the girls and the girls with the woods, let us get to know your characters well. We even get a sense of the forest's character - somehow, all intermingling together. *Thumbsup*

*Balloon4* What I liked best about the story- The beautiful, descriptive language, the surprising ending and the creativeness of the whole piece. Awesome job!

I only found one typo, twice in the sentence below:

*Pencil* You were far too perfect, far too other worldly to be human.

*Note* WRITE ON! *Note*

If I can be of help with anything, please don't hesitate contacting me, by clicking on the envelope next to my handle, it will bring you straight to my email!

Look forward to seeing you around WDC!

Tracey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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266
Rated: 18+ | (1.5)
*Reading* Hi James Jake Welcome to WDC! {Writing.Com) It's so great that you just joined yesterday and already have a writing in your port (portfolio)! Awesome job! *Thumbsup* I hope you continue to post. Please do not be discouraged by the rating. We've all been there. With a little work, you can turn this into a nice story. When you do edit your story, let me know and I'll be happy to review again and re-rate. *Smile*

*Flower3* The Beginning- Starts out telling us of the disappearance of campers, a few years back. Giving the woods the nickname, 'The Killer Woods'

*Balloon2* The Title- Nice title. It's what pulled me in, wanting to read your story. *Smile*

*Flower1* The Description- Says it all! I don't think I'd ever enter those woods!

*Balloon4* The Ending- Seemed a little too relaxed, for what they all just went through. I believe they would be running as fast as they could to the car, and save the kisses for later. *Wink*

*Pencil* I have a few suggestions for you, below. They are only meant to help you. Please use or discard them as you see fit. *Smile*


*Flower1* Spell out the numbers 4 and 6 *Smile*

*Balloon1* killer woods as it's called in a town called Kress.

Since you already used the word, called, change the second one to named

*Flower2* Know one knows exactly what happened that night but a passer by

No one knows what happened that night. But a passer by

*Balloon3* walking his dog near the woods heard an enormous scream from the woods and called the local police but when they got there the woods went silent and the police searched the entire woods but found nothing.

walking his dog, heard an enormous scream coming from the woods. He called the local police, but when they arrived, the woods were silent. They searched the entire woods, but could not find anything.

*Flower4* Rumours started circulating like wildfire over the next few weeks as they would but what happened in the woods that night know one will ever know but one summers evening 6 couples might just find out!!

Rumors circulated like wildfire over the next few weeks. No one yet knew what happened that night in the woods. But on this summer's evening, six couples may just find out.

*Balloon5* A summer wind blew down in the town of Kress one summers evening. and Jack

*Flower6* Jacks car while he locked up his apartment and to check if he fed the dogs.

Jack's car, while he locked up his apartment and fed the dogs.

*Balloon1* no trespass sign. Max

*Flower2* The car park they park the car seems to be silent as a mouse when they all get out to un-load the car.

They park the car. All seems silent as a mouse, as they all get out to unload.

*Balloon3* big rain cloud coming there way

big rain cloud, coming their way

*Flower4* 4} As there walking Jack says "Now guys here's the plan once we find our camp ground try not to plunge right into the drink cause we need some for tonight and if any of you love birds wish to be rabbits then take it away from the camp ground I don't want to here any moans if you get me that's the plan Yes"?

As they're walking, Jack says, "Now guys, here's the plan: once we find our campground, try not to plunge into the drinks, right away. We need to save some for tonight. If any of you love birds, wish to be rabbits, take it away from the site. I don't care to hear any moans, if you get me? That's the plan. Yes?"

*Balloon5* 15 minutes the gang find there camp

fifteen minutes the gang find their camp

*Flower6* dancing around the fire they made.and Chloe and Sid were drunk, sitting

*Balloon1* guides him into there tent.

guides him into their tent.

*Flower2* "Chloe were did u go?

"Chloe, where did you go?

*Balloon3* Chloe wondered of talking to her mother on the phone she said she wouldn't be a minute but 5 minutes passed and no sign of Chloe so then he said he went were she walked and showed Jack the hair clip he found on the ground behind the trees were she walked.

Chloe wandered off talking to her mother on the phone. She said she wouldn't be but a minute. Five minutes passed, and there's no sign of Chloe. I followed her steps, through the woods. I didn't find her, but I found her hair clip lying on the ground.

*Flower4* positives where she could have gone. stuff like that.

*Balloon5* giving out to him about loosening Chloe and says "Chloe is 1

giving out to him about losing Chloe, and says, "Chloe is my number one

*Flower6* Sally looking shocked starts to cry hard screaming as well max

Sally looking shocked, begins to scream and cry. Max

*Balloon1* if there is a way in thru a window.

if there is a way in through a window.

*Flower2* sad of what there seeing they have

sad of what they're seeing. They have

*Note1* In section nine, capitalize all of the names. *Smile*

*Balloon3* Jack replies before when we were looking for you we decided to split up so their probably back at the camp ground.

Jack replies, "Before when we were looking for you, we decided to split up. So, hopefully they're back at the camp site.

*Flower4* "Sally starts to cry but jack says stop holly would want us to get out of this nightmare now come on.

Sally starts to cry. Jack tries to quiet Holly, so they can get out of this nightmare.

*Balloon5* Max comes running out of the bush and is real happy to see Chloe but is real sad that holly got killed but understands what jack is saying then they all start to walk out of the woods together as the sunrises Max turns to Sally and says "How about one last kiss before we leave the killer woods" they share a kiss and all of them walk to the car they came in.

Max comes running out of the bush. He's happy to see Chloe, but very sad that Holly was killed. He understands right now, they just need to get the heck out of the woods. As they walk to the edge of the woods, Max turns to Sally and says, "How about one last kiss, before we leave the killer woods." They share a kiss, as they return to their car.

*Note* KEEP WRITING! *Note*

I look forward to seeing you around WDC! Please contact me if I can help you with anything. *Smile*

Tracey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of I Can See You  
Rated: E | (2.5)
*Reading* Hi Meen Welcome to WDC! (Writing.Com) *Bigsmile*
Man! Poor girl. I think if I was her, I may be forever scared to step into another car. *Sad* But really, the girl should have called 911 and try to help the poor man. Then she's able to go about her business, like nothing happened? Some may say she deserves what she gets *Smirk*

*Flower3* The Beginning- The beginning starts out pretty good. It starts to get a little confusing, but by the middle, we understand what's going on, and how it's related.

*Balloon2* The Title- Creepy title. Anytime one feels like they're being watched, but they don't know by whom, is very unnerving. *Shock*

*Flower1* The Description- Nice description. Although, it only describes the second half of the story. You may try a description which will describe the whole story, but still leave an air of mystery:

*Note1* Dharlene survives a hideous crash. Will her luck change?

*Balloon4* The Ending- Very nice ending. The strongest part of your story. You brought it to a creepy close. Nice job! *Thumbsup*

*Flower3* The characterization- Just by Dharlene's actions we learn quite a bit about her character. Some good, others not so much.

*Balloon4* What I liked best about the story- You really picked up speed by the middle of your story. Your story started coming together a bit more. And you have a nice, strong closure.

*Pencil* I do think this story has promise. Fix the mistakes and flesh it out a bit, and it can be a really good story. *Smile* If you do decide to edit your writing, please let me know and I'll come back and review again and re-rate! *Bigsmile*

The below are only my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Flower1* yet it all seems to happen just yesterday.

yet it all seemed to happen just yesterday.

*Flower2* Sarah can’t control her car,

Sarah couldn't control her car,

*Flower3* and the road has started to become tricky.

and the road was tricky.

*Balloon1* Sarah was driving the car in zigzag motion as she tried to control the car.

Sarah zigzagged the car, trying to gain control.

*Balloon2* But Dharlene had the opportunity to open the door and leaped out of the car, rolling and crying in pain as her skin scratched the rough road, leaving open wounds that sting as fire.

Dharlene, a passenger in the car, was able to open the door and leap out of the car. She hit with a thud, spinning round and round, crying in pain as her skin scraped against the rough road, peeling back her skin, leaving gaping wounds, which stung like fire.

*Balloon3* And so she watched Sarah, crying for help as the car run straight in front along a drop. She saw Sarah’s eyes, full with tears, as she fell down the cliff inside the car helplessly, pleading for Dharlene to help her.

*Questionbl* I'm a little confused how Dharlene could have seen this? She has already jumped out of the car, and the way she hit, I'm sure she would still be lying on the ground, behind the car. Just a thought *Smile*

*Flower4* She got back to her senses and started to go off inside the building because she’s already late for her next class.

She came back to her senses. Jumping up, she ran inside, already late for her next class.

*Flower5* “I’m in the kitchen, dear”

Capitalize dear, because you're using it as a noun. *Smile*

*Balloon4* I love you too mom.

I love you too, Mom.

*Balloon5* “Oh, I don’t know Dharlene.” Dharlene’s mother emotion suddenly changed.

"Oh, I don't know, Dharlene." Her emotions suddenly changing.

*Flower6* She waved her parents goodbye

She waved goodbye to her parents

*Balloon6* safety of her car and drive back without even looking back

safety of her car, and drove on, without looking back

*Flower1* She hasn’t told her parents

She didn't tell her parents

*Balloon2* realize that she suddenly dozed off on her bed.

*Flower3* out of her bedroom in tiptoes.

out of her bedroom, on tiptoes.

*Note* KEEP WRITING!~ *Note*

If I can be of help with anything, please feel free to contact me. You can click on the envelope next to my handle and it will bring you straight to my email! *Bigsmile*

Look forward to seeing you around WDC!

Tracey






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
268
268
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Reading*Hi O'Donovan . Welcome to WDC! (Writing.Com). I really enjoyed your writing. You touched on a lot of deep subjects, all of which I'm interested in. I know the 'String Theory' well. I also agree with you that spirits are on the same plain as us, but another dimension. That's why atmospheric conditions can help us see and hear them, at times and not at other times. Also, I believe that's why spirits are much more active, if they're around mountainous region or water. Although, I do believe some may be stuck in a certain dimension, I don't believe they all reside there. I do believe in heaven and hell, but I also believe that many spirits are able to come and go, as often as they wish. As you can see, I found your writing very interesting! *Delight*

*Flower3* The Beginning- Nice beginning. Held my interest to read on. I do believe the writing grew even stronger as it moved along. You could easily expand on this. If you do, I'd love to read it. *Bigsmile*

*Balloon2* The Title- Interesting title. Nice play on words.

*Flower1* The Description- Is what caught my attention and made me want to read on~

*Balloon4* The Ending- Great ending. Strong and conclusive, while still leaving a bit of mystery, for the reader to research this information themselves, if they're not already educated about it. Maybe you'll help broaden someones interests! *Cool*

*Thumbsup* Phrases like " life after death " were oxymoronic to me. Life after death sounded as illogical as jumbo shrimp or military intelligence. By definition, these words have no business together.

Made me laugh out loud!

Please be sure to contact me, if I can be of help with anything. Just click on the envelope next to my handle, it will bring you straight to my email.

I look forward to reading more of your work.

*Note* WRITE ON! *Note*

Tracey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
269
269
Review of A Whistling Wind  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Reading* Hi JDSchlueter Welcome to WDC! (Writing.Com). I enjoyed visiting your port and truly enjoyed this short prose.
Your language was descriptive and beautiful, giving the reader vivid imagery. Your writing has a nice, poetic rhythm. In fact, this writing could easily be written in free verse poetic form.

*Flower3* The Beginning- Beautiful, descriptive beginning, pulling me right into the prose. Such a creative way to write about a spirit. Very nice! *Delight*

*Balloon2* The Title- Very appropriate title. Fits in with the story perfectly.

*Flower1* The Description- Your description caught my attention, with two main words that I'm interested in: Nostalgia and Grave (Ghost)

*Balloon4* The Ending- Strong ending. Absolutely beautifully written. Great job! *Thumbsup*

*Flower3* The characterization- We learn the character from the nostalgic memories. Perfect for the piece.

*Balloon4* What I liked best about the story- I really enjoyed the whole prose. But I must say I loved the poetic feel of the whole writing. The beautiful, descriptive language. The last couple of sentences were my favorite. I won't repost them here, as I do not want this to be a spoiler review. *Bigsmile*

I fanned you, by clicking the little plus sign by your handle, twice. This way I can find you easily, to come back to your port and read more. Also, if you make any notebook comments, I will be able to interact with you through them.

If I can help you with anything, please don't hesitate to contact me. If you click the envelope, beside my handle, it will bring you straight to my email.

I really look forward to reading more of your work!

*Note* WRITE ON!~ *Note*

Tracey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
270
270
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Reading* Wow. Very cool story. I enjoyed the pace and visual descriptions. Well done! You may want to break up your paragraphs, which will make your story easier to read and more visually appealing. *Smile*

*Flower3* The Beginning- Nice beginning. You start the action immediately. Little did we know, the crack would turn into such a horrid event. *Shock*

*Balloon2* The Title- I like the title. It made me smile, visualizing a creature in a small crack!

*Flower1* The Description- I would change the description that you have now, and put an overview of the story there, instead.

*Balloon4* The Ending- Love the ending! Very strong and brings the story to a close nicely. Still leaving a bit of suspense behind.

*Flower3* The characterization- We didn't really get to know a lot about the main character - just mainly he was intent on getting the crack filled with dirt, and that he was a fighter. It would have been nice getting to know him a bit. It would have given the story a more intimate feel.

*Balloon4* What I liked best about the story- Definitely the end. Love how you brought the story to a close and I really enjoyed your last couple of sentences. Great way to end!

Below is a couple of suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit. *Smile*

*Flower1* it ran almost the length of the yard and was more than three inches wide at it widest.

it ran almost the length of the yard, and was more than three inches at its widest.

*Flower2* the sand just poured loosely to into the crack and was gone.

*Balloongo* the creature hissed then made a sound as if it might have been choking on our dog.

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us!

*Note* WRITE ON! *Note*
Tracey
A new banner for The Dark Society.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
271
271
Review of A Dark Presence  
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
*Reading* Wicked story. I believe this story has a lot of potential! You have a lot packed in a small space. I felt like you told me the whole story, and because of that, I missed feeling much of the emotion that I should have felt, while reading.

*Flower3* The Beginning- Starts out nicely. We learn right away that the mansion is haunted, or at least perceived to be haunted by the main character. *Rolleyes*

*Balloon2* The Title- Really caught my attention and is what made me want to read the story.

*Flower1* The Description: A presence makes itself known in a home. If you dare to enter, give it a click!

The first part does a great job stating what the story is about. I think it would be better without the last sentence. *Smile*

*Balloon4* The Ending- Great ending! I believe it's the strongest part of the whole story.

*Flower3* The characterization- Left me wanting more. I didn't get to know the main character too much at all. I would have liked a bit more visual descriptions of him and his personality.

*Balloon4* What I liked best about the story- My favorite part is the ending. Well done! *Bigsmile*

 Below are only my suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.

*Flower1* simulating the hair on my arms.

stimulating the hair on my arms.

*Flower2* As I descend the stairs, one hand against the rail and other against the wall,

As I descend the stairs, one hand is against the rail, the other against the wall,

*Flower3* Their glassy eyes roam my sturdy limps,

Their glassy eyes roam my sturdy limbs,

Although, in reflection, how sturdy will your limbs actually be, if you're scared senseless? *Wink*

*Flower4* Stricken with shock, I couldn’t run.

Stricken with shock, I can't run.

*Flower5* I believe the house's, laughs in scorn.

I believe the house laughs in scorn.

*Flower6* I start to shiver with the wall,

I start to shiver against the wall,

Thank you for sharing your writing with us.

*Note* WRITE ON! *Note*

Tracey
A new banner for The Dark Society.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
272
272
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Revelry new writings soon This is a Review on Behalf of "Invalid Item"  . Enjoy! *Bigsmile*

** Image ID #1729356 Unavailable **


*Reading* I'll review this a bit differently, since you are sharing an actual dream (nightmare) with us, and it's not a short story. *Smile* Your title caught my interest. Panic and Misery are two strong, emotional words in one title. I had to read to find out what could cause such a strong word choice. Your description drew me the rest of the way in. I've always been fascinated with dreams, and have actually started to sketch an outline for a book I have planned on dreaming. *Thumbsupl*

After reading the very first sentence of your writing, I was glad I chose this one to read! I have had quite a few nightmares about hell, or demons. Not many others dream as I do, so you definitely caught my attention!

I have an idea of what your dream may have meant. By the way you speak about your faith and your twin brother being there with you, and then in one sentence, you casually mention, that you had let ya'll down. Like you were responsible, not only for you being in hell, but also your brother. Do you have a stronger belief than your brother? Do you feel like it's your responsibility to bring him back to God? That's the first thing that entered my mind, after reading your dream.

*Silent* This part really gave me the creeps:

He stared straight at me gaze never wavering, he scared me in a way words could never say. He didn't look the way I had pictured him instead he looked like the puppet Billy out of the saw movies. Black hair, tall with his pale skin and his red colored eyes. Dressed in a fine white shirt, red bow tie, and black suit.

I don't think you can get much creepier than that! The only character who comes close, is the clown from "It" *Pthb* *Laugh*

Thanks so much for sharing your nightmare with us. I enjoyed it.

*Note* WRITE ON!~ *Note*

Tracey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
273
273
Review of The Mirror  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Reading* Excellent poem. I re-read it about three times. An indepth look, I believe, not only into your psyche, but the psyche of
so many of us. The fears may not be the exact same as yours, but we definitely all have hidden fears - words and feelings left unsaid and unexpressed, which we dare to glimpse, if only occasionally through our reflection.

The first stanza is good. But I truly believe the second stanza is where you find your strength. My favorite lines:

*Thumbsup* The child who worries on the future,
And all that it may bring.
The real me is locked away,
Too afraid to sing. *Thumbsupr*

Nice, strong finish! Great job! *Cool*

*Note* WRITE ON! *Note*

Tracey
Addicted to WDC Sig





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
274
274
Review of Special Delivery  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi fyn ! This is the first of three reviews for your winning bid in "WDC Birthday Ice Cream Social 2018"  [E] *Bigsmile*


*Reading* Interesting writing. Reminds me a bit of a prose writing. I live right down the street from the beach, where many treasures have been found (both natural and non) after a bad storm. So, this writing was very relatable!

*Flower3* The Beginning- Nice visual of the beach and the new landmark. *Delight*


*Balloon2* The Title- Great title, as the story reveals, it definitely was a Special Delivery


*Flower1* The Description- You did a wonderful job describing the tree and how it managed to land on the local shore. You may want to consider adding a bit more visual description of the beach surroundings. *Rolleyes*

*Balloon4* The Ending- The ending left me a bit perplexed. I checked the details of the writing once more, to make sure this wasn't a prologue to longer story/book. It left me ... wondering. *Wink* *Laugh*

*Note0* I have a couple of suggestions below, please use or discard them as you see fit. *Smile*


*Flower1* It was a local source of wonder. Wondering: what distant island

I don't believe you need the word, Wondering

It was a local source of wonder: What distant island...

*Note1* what distant island it had been torn from, what storm had wrenched it loose, roots and all, to wash up here on our beach.

What distant island had it been torn from? Which massive storm was able to wrench loose, roots and all, for it to wash up here, on our beach?

I enjoyed visiting your port, (it's been awhile *Shock*) and look forward to reading more!

*Note* WRITE ON! *Note*

Tracey
Addicted to WDC Sig


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
275
275
Review of The Loud Silence  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Angels in my Ear This is a Review on Behalf of "Invalid Item" 


*Reading* Your passion truly shines through with this writing. I so love that feeling of pure inspiration to write! *Delight* Please keep in mind any suggestions below, are just my opinion. Please use or discard them as you see fit. *Smile*

*Flower3* The Beginning -From the beginning, I could understand the desire to write has always been there, while the inspiration to write was a bit harder to come by. As a writer, I definitely understand that frustration. *Pthb*

I would consider doing a few minor changes to your first paragraph. The sentences seemed a bit choppy and out-of-place to me.

*Pencil* Although, I have always loved to write, I could never find a subject I was passionate about. I had wonderful writing teachers who inspired me. I saved many of my poems and stories. Recently, while going through my old boxes, I discovered a piece I had written when I was 16 called "Black on White" . It was just a simple assignment that I had given no thought to at the time, and just happened to save. But, it has taken on a new significance.

Throughout the years, I had many wonderful writing teachers who inspired me. I loved to write, but had trouble finding a subject I was passionate enough about. Recently, while going through my old boxes, I discovered a piece I had written when I was sixteen: "Black on White" It was just a simple assignment that I'd given no thought to at the time. Now, it has taken on a whole new significance.

*Balloon2* The Title and Description - Wonderful title! It caught my attention right away. The Description was well stated and definitely urged me to read on!


*Balloon4* The Ending - Wonderful, strong ending. Your passion has definitely be found. *Bigsmile* I found one tiny typo:

*Pencil* It speaks to the importance of they lives they have lead

It speaks to the importance of the lives ...

I really enjoyed this. I know families would love to have a writing about their ancestors! *Thumbsup*

*Note* GOOD JOB! *Note*

Tracey
** Image ID #1729351 Unavailable **


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