Dear Jay,
It is my pleasure to review your story for you. Before I start though, I want to thank you for bidding on my humble package in the Steampunk Auction.
You've written a very interesting story here. The idea of a young woman living alone like your main character does is a bit amazing. When I first started reading this, I thought this was a non-fiction story, but realized part way through it had to be fiction. I'm not much of an outdoors man, but I'd love to live in a cabin like this! While I really liked your story, it does need a bit of editing TLC. Some of your descriptions could be improved, and while the flow is good, it too needs some attention. While I've rated it as 3.5, that's more due to the attention I paid to minor problems I noticed. If I were to simply rate it, the score would go to 4.0.
Title: Excellent for this story, and is why I thought this was non-fiction at first. On a side note, you might consider listing one of its descriptions as 'Fiction'.
Description: You have 90 characters to use here, use them! This is where you get to entice a reader to drop in and read this. Since you sign the story as Jay, then use her name here. Maybe something like, Jay and her dog Skeeter live in a mountain cabin. One winter day, they encounter a bear.
Grammar: Your wording of sentences is a bit off in places. I've tried to note each below.
My Favorite Part: Your description at the beginning of the story. However, that being said, you could 'pump this up' a little too. Tell us a little bit about the area surrounding the cabin. I know the story doesn't center around that, but it would help set the stage some.
General Comments:
1. A small suggestion here, more of a personal preference than anything, but you might want to consider using the {indent} command to indent the first line of each paragraph.
2. I know my cabin is small, but it does have a bedroom and bath (with cold mountain water to bath in), a small kitchen - just the right size for me - and a nice big living area with a wood burning fireplace. Bath should be bathe. You bathe in a bath tub, you don't bath. 
3. I have all the wood I need, enough food for a month, drinking water and my dog Skeeter. You mention your dog skeeter in the first line, and at the time, I thought it was a bit wordy, and unnecessary information. Since you mention him here again, you might want to consider deleting the reference to Skeeter in that first line. It might help make the read flow a little smoother.
4. People don't understand why a young lady like me loves to live in a wooden cabin, in the woods, Assuming you keep the second line that mentioned Skeeter, you might want to consider revising this line a little. Here's a small suggestion for the first two lines. People don't understand why a young lady like me loves to live in a small wooden cabin, deep in the woods. My cabin is small, having a bedroom and bath (with cold mountain water to bathe in), a kitchen, and a nice big living area with a wood burning fireplace. Behind the cabin is a small studio, and as an artist it is very handy to retreat there when I need to paint or concentrate.
5. I have a Snowmobile I use when I need to go into town, if I run out of something, but that doesn't happen very often. This is worded a little awkwardly. Perhaps this would work. If I run out of something, I have a Snowmobile I use when I need to go into town. Thankfully this doesn't happen very often.
6. You mention the snowmobile twice in succession, and I have to ask. Is the snow on the ground year round there? If not, what else do you use? The same could be said for Skeeter sleeping next to you, keeping you warm at night. Is there no summer there? Does the temperature never get above 60 or so?
7. He looks majestic when his hair flies around his face and pulls his long ears back. His big brown eyes filled with excitement. Another place that could be worded a little differently. He looks majestic as he runs, his hair flying around his face, long ears pulled back, his big brown eyes filled with excitement.
8. It was on one of these trips I went riding out to the meadow. This is where we encountered the bear. This could be one sentence really. It was on one of these trips I went riding out to the meadow, and encountered a bear.
9. It seem like we were flying on the wind. Seem should be seemed.
10. My bear gun was at home. Besides, bears weren't suppose to be out at this time of year. They were suppose to be in their caves all comfy and cozy. This was rogue bear. I needed to do something quick or I would lose my dog. This whole section just doesn't read smoothly to me. If I may make another suggestion here. Since it was the middle of winter, I had left my bear gun at home. A bear isn't supposed to be out at this time of year. They should be in a cave all comfy and cozy. Right now, all that mattered was defending myself and Skeeter. I needed to do something quick or I would lose my dog.
11. I startled it at first, but then it made him mad. I think this could be worded a little better. I startled it at first, but that only served to make it mad.
12. I fought for my life. I knew God was with me. I manage to slip the knife into his heart. He didn't fall right away because he was such a massive sort, but when he did it sounded like a large tree had fallen right in front of me. This fight between your character and the bear is far too short. This is really the climax of the story, and all you can write is this? I have no real idea how one fights a bear, but I really think you need a little more description here. Actually, a lot more. I fought for my life, knowing God was with me. It may have been the hit on the head when I hit the tree, but somehow I was able to move faster than a person should. I dodged and twisted as it lunged at me, my knife flashing in the sun as picked away at it. Adrenalin filled my body as I fought, fatigue was not an option nor thought of. Slowly the bear seemed to tire, and in a key moment, I managed to slip the knife into his heart. He didn't fall right away because he was such a massive sort, but when he did it sounded like a large tree had fallen right in front of me.
13. As I lay there, Skeeter had managed to crawled to my side and licked my face. Another small suggestion. As I lay there, Skeeter somehow crawled to my side and licked my face.
14. We were there for five days and then we got to go home. We were there for five days before we were released and allowed to go home.
15. I have to keep my hands bandage for quiet some time and some surgeries are in the near future. Quiet should be quite.
16. Skeeter had to have his intestines sewed by into his stomach, so he can't get around very much either, but we are getting better. I'm sorry, but depending on how long Skeeters' intestines were outside his body, it seems he wouldn't have survived. Think of how they would have been trailing behind him as he crawled to your side. If you choose to modify this line, ensure you change the 'by' to back.
Overall impressions: A very good story of a young woman living in a cabin high in the mountains.
Sum1
 WDC POWER RAIDER
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| (4.5)
| (4.0)
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