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Review Requests: OFF
3,537 Public Reviews Given
4,150 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I tend to review using a format that I can comment on plot, characters, setting, atmosphere and dialogue. I also try to point out typos/errors and that sort of thing. This style may change depending on the item!
I'm good at...
I'm better with fiction than anything else. I might be able to have a go at poetry but please don't expect too much!
Favorite Genres
Horror, dark, suspense, thriller, mystery. However, I'm open minded and will read most genres.
Favorite Item Types
Statics - fiction.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 13 14 15 16 -17- 18 19 20 21 22 ... Next
401
401
Review of The date  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I wanted to come and return the review you did for me, so here I am!

*Pencil*Storyline: This piece is about a group of women who argue about who is going on a date with a man. They all give their reasons and argue the toss but in the end, only one can go.

The ending left me with a question about the psychiatrist. I'm not sure where that fits into it or the whole story. It also left me wondering who the man was and why he was so special that they all wanted to date him.

*People*Characters: Beth and Ruth are the main characters in this. They spend their night arguing about who should go on the date but I didn't really feel that I got into their minds and found out why they were arguing and why they had to decide this.

*Home*Setting: This takes place in a room where they are all sitting arguing.


*BurstR*Dialogue: With dialogue, with each new speaker there should start a new paragraph. It helps with the flow of the piece.



*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*“No man would go out with a woman today whose dress was worn down to her ankles”.

Here the ending punctuation mark should be inside of the quotation marks.

*BulletG*“No man would go out with a woman today whose dress was worn down to her ankles.”



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
402
402
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: I wanted to come and return the review you did for me! Please bear with me because poetry is not my strong point.


*Checkg*What I liked:

This piece makes me a little bit ashamed that I'm in England and don't really know an awful lot about the history of the Beatles.This poem, for me, paints a very nostalgic picture, of the Beatles singing on a free stage (a roof I believe?) for everyone to see. I like the idea behind it because it makes it accessible to everyone. You speak of the situation with a fondness that makes me smile *Smile*

I don't really want to comment about the style of the poem. I can see that it's free style and I think it really works for this piece, helping to capture the memory and the happiness that goes with it.

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
403
403
for entry "Day 30: Painted Red" 
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review since you were locked up in the Jail a Thon! *Smile*


*Checkg*What I liked:

I don't often read poetry but I do understand/know of the haiku. I enjoyed reading your take on the prompt as I chose the same one as you and think we were kinda along the same lines *Smile*

I think it's really neat you were able to capture the thoughts of the image you had in one small poem like this. The last line really summed it up for me. I also like how you use 'paint the town red' which is usually a euphemism for going out and switching it to the literal meaning.


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
404
404
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey! I'm back with another review as part of your Nuclear package *Smile* I read the description of this before the title and it intrigued me and then the title just finished it off, I had to come check it out!

*Pencil*Storyline: Oooh another creepy piece! This tells the story of Cassie, a widow on her own who hires Jake, a man who is passing through as her handy man. She listens to the advice of the Sheriff and doesn't let him get too close but soon comes to realise she misses him when he's gone. When he pops in at Christmas she allows him into her home and that's when the reader finds out what he's really like...

I think that while this piece is good you tell rather than show and so I found I didn't get as into the story as I would have liked. Perhaps some more internal thoughts would be good and help th the reader to identify with Cassie more.

*People*Characters: Cassie and Jake are the main characters in this piece. Cassie is a young woman, a widow. Other than that we don't get to find out a lot about her. I think I would have liked to know how she feels about being in her own, especially since she's so young. Jake is portrayed as an innocent and helpful fellow but towards the end of the piece we really begin to learn who he is.

*Home*Setting: I'm not sure where this takes place but I get a sense that it takes place in a time that has long since passed because of the way it is written and their style of speech.

*BurstR*Dialogue: As I mentioned their speech seemed quite different and feels quite formal. This is fine if it's an indication of the time period in which it's set but I'm not sure when that is!



*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*"Cicero! You get back here, do you hear?

This is just missing the quotation mark at the end.

*BulletG*"Cicero! You get back here, do you hear?"



*BulletB*I couldn't afford to get the work done otherwise..

There's just an extra full stop here.

*BulletB*I couldn't afford to get the work done otherwise.

*BulletR*"I'm coming," she yelled She thought it might

There's a missing full stop here.

*BulletR*"I'm coming," she yelled. She thought it might

*BulletV*and several animals have been injured..
*BulletV*and several animals have been injured.

*Bullet*Why didn't you ever tell him that?, she wondered.

Here you would only need one punctuation mark. These are her thoughts so I suggest having them in italics and deleting the next part completely:

*Bullet*Why didn't you ever tell him that?





Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
405
405
Review of Lasha Thornhook.  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey! I'm here with a review of this piece as part of your Nuclear Package *Smile*

*Pencil*Storyline: Well this sure got my attention from the get go! The first paragraph was quite a strong start. However, it was also quite harsh. I think it might put some people off reading because of the subject and the way it is written with quite an attitude too. Like I say it got my attention but I did want to keep reading.

To me this piece is almost like an introduction to the Thornhook clan. We get to meet the narrator as well as the other siblings and begin to build a picture of what family life is like. It left me wondering whether there's going to be anymore to this, how you're going to progress it. If you are, I might suggest adding something of a conflict in here to keep the reader interested.

*People*Characters: Lasha Thornhook is the narrator of this piece. She has a really strong narrative voice and her character/attitude comes across really well throughout. I feel like we begin to get to know her just through this which is great. We also meet all of her sibliings, we find out what they are like as individuals and as a family too.

*Home*Setting: There isn't so much as a setting for this piece as I said because it's more like a description of characters from a point of view. However, because they are gnomes I'm guessing there is a big fantasy element to this which could mean they are in a different world.



*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*no I am not a halfling I am a gnome.

I think this could do with a semi colon here:

*BulletG*no I am not a halfling; I am a gnome.

*BulletB*The boys she takes from me, she doesn't even keep 'em; just tosses them away a couple days later.

I think this would work better as a comma because the bit after the semi colon isn't a complete sentence.

*BulletB*The boys she takes from me, she doesn't even keep 'em, just tosses them away a couple days later.

*BulletR*Honestly, he' one of the reasons I stay here.
*BulletR*Honestly, he's one of the reasons I stay here.




Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
406
406
Review of Tangled Webs  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review as part of your Nuclear Package with the Power Reviewers! I chose to read this piece because you said it was not for the faint of heart *Smile*

*Pencil*Storyline: This is indeed not for the faint of heart! You open it really well with a sentence that shocked me and made me want to read on. In this piece, John Surrat is a doctor who becomes sick of his wife and decides to kill her in the most devious way possible but ends up creating a wide spread pandemic!

This piece is written in a daily entry sort of way, almost like a journal might be. I think doing it this way gives the reader a good idea of how and when things happened, but in some ways it also detracts from the story. I would have loved to get deeper inside his mind and find out his reactions at different stages. Perhaphs having him writing the diary would have helped do something like that.

*People*Characters: Dr. John Surrat is the main character in this piece. He is a doctor and they are normally given a lot of respect which is why he is not suspected but it becomes apparent he's willing to abuse his authority for his own wants.

*Home*Setting: This piece changes setting but you set the scene well with each chance. You add a lot of description, particularly about the effect the virus has, which really helps.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: Like I said (and as did you) not for the faint of heart!




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
407
407
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Sisco's Good Deed Group Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I wanted to come and return a review you did for me *Smile* I spotted this piece in your highlighted items and couldn't resist!


*Checkg*What I liked:

What a fun take on the song Hotel California *Smile* you captured it so well, the whole scene leading up to the bull meeting his cow was really well done. IT made me smile!

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of Sisco's Good Deed Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
408
408
Review of Over Night Freeze  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Sisco's Good Deed Group Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey! I'm here to return the review you did for me *Smile*

*Pencil*Storyline: So Hades has frozen over! Interesting concept. The whole town is completely frozen and the mayor's car crashes because of it.

*People*Characters: There are a couple of characters in this, the mayor and the woman in the Bar & grill. This is a short piece so there isn't a lot of characterisation but I think you do fine.

*Home*Setting: This takes place in Hades, Texas. You set the scene really well.


*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*after his chafer helped him out of the car.

I'm wondering if this should be 'chauffer'

*BulletB*“Are you all right, Mayor,”

I think this would be better as a question mark since she's asking a question.

*BulletB*“Are you all right, Mayor?”





Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of Sisco's Good Deed Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
409
409
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Sisco's Good Deed Group Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm here to return the review you did for me! I chose to read this piece because I always think writing in just dialogue is tough so I wanted to come check it out *Smile*

*Pencil*Storyline: When I read this at first I thought they were inanimate objects talking but then I think I figured out it was a hand puppet with it's controller? Maybe? I hope I don't offend you, I guess that's just what I got from it.

*Home*Setting: This piece takes place back stage.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: There is a sense of anticipation in this.

*BurstR*Dialogue: This dialogu in this piece feels real and natural. It flows well too.



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of Sisco's Good Deed Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
410
410
Review of Berserk  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Sisco's Good Deed Group Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey! I wanted to come and return a review you did for me *Smile* I chose this piece because it's about a clown so it promises to be chilling!

*Pencil*Storyline: Hehe I love this! We see the sadness of the man behind the mask, tired from a long day. You had me feeling sorry for him (which is a great feat cos clowns are pretty creepy) and seeing him go all crazy made me think that he'd just been pushed too far. I didn't see that ending coming either, great job!

*People*Characters: The clown is the main character in this piece. You portray him so well and drw the reader into his plight, I can understand why he got angry. But I also like that he's not the normal creepy clown guy too *Smile*

*Home*Setting: This is set in an amusement park and you set the scene really well with lots of little details in your piece.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: At first I felt a little sadness for him, but I angered with him I think and could understand where he was coming from. I felt what he felt, that's great!



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of Sisco's Good Deed Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
411
411
Review of My Guestbook  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Sisco's Good Deed Group Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: I wanted to stop by and offer you a review since you did one for me, and what better way than to review your lovely guestbook *Smile*


*Checkg*What I liked:

I really love the idea of a guestbook, there's something a little more personal about it than the notebook. It means you can customise it and say what you want. I really like the way this piece looks, it's simple yet warm and inviting and I think that's because your personality is warm and inviting too *Smile*

I love that you say:

I love to meet new people and am of the belief that one can never have too many friends!

I agree with this! Having friends, whether online or offline is imprtant and fulfilling *Smile*


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of Sisco's Good Deed Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
412
412
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hey!

This is a Sisco's Good Deed Group Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey! I hit the random review button looking for something to read so here I am with a review of your piece!

I was just wondering why the '255 words' part needs to be in the title? It might be better places in the description of the item.

*Pencil*Storyline: This piece is quite ironic because Bertha is mad that George rented Twilight for them to watch because she says it's about an abusive relationship. However, I would say how Bertha reacts with George is quite abusive too.

*People*Characters: As I mentioned I think Bertha and George are in a somewhat abusive relationship judging by the way she talks to him and tries to control him. It makes me not like her so much and like him a little more. Perhas that's a natural reaction.

*Home*Setting: I'm not really sure where this takes place. I assume it's in their home but I don't know where that is.

*BurstR*Dialogue: I noticed that with some of the dialogue Bertha is speaking but there is a line break which for me was a little confusing because a line break usually means a new person is speaking.



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of Sisco's Good Deed Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
413
413
Review of Sin City  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey! I wanted to come and offer you a review in honour of your tenth Anniversary here on WdC *Smile* I chose this piece primarily because of the title, I loved the film Sin City so I had to come check it out.

*Pencil*Storyline: This follows the story of a man (who remains nameless) who is cruising down the boulevard of Las Vegas. We think he's out for a cruise until his lust begins to take precedence and it's then that we realise that not all is as it seems.

*People*Characters: The main character at first comes across as a normal man, someone who hates the city and is trying to get somewhere. Slowly but surely, his inner desires come to light and we realise that the man we thought could have been normal is in fact deranged and dangerous. I think is done really well and draws the reader in before allowing them to realise that he's an animal.

*Home*Setting: This takes place in Las Vegas. The scene is set really well with a lot of description to draw the reader in to the scene and see it as he does. Seeing it from his perspective means we see the fake side of Las Vegas, the garishness of it all.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This is definitely a dark piece. His inner thoughts are revealed throughout the narrative and take the reader down a dark and twisted journey to his gratification. I love how it explores the inner workers of the human mind.




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
414
414
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review since you were locked up in the Jail a Thon! *Smile*


*Checkg*What I liked:

I wanted to stop by and tell you that I think you do such a great job with the Vigilante Rangers here *Smile* You spread cheer and community throughout Writing.com and make the place happy! I love the layout of this place and particularly like that I was able to find out what the bat cave looked like *Smile*



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
415
415
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Rising Star Member to Member Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: I spotted this piece and was immediately drawn to it, so here I am!

*Pencil*Storyline: This story follows Sparrow who finds himself up for parole and the chance of freedom. He mulls it over and at first thinks it's brilliant and begins planning his celebrations, but soon the reality kicks in and he becomes very aware that if he leaves he won't last very long in the free world.

*People*Characters: Sparrow is the main character. We realise he's been to jail for robbery however, he still comes across as a likeable guy. Perhaps it's his ability to reflect and his absolute honesty that drew me into his character.

*Home*Setting: The setting of this piece is the prison. It's more character driven than anything so we don't get a lot of description, I think that's fine though.




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Rising Stars:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
416
416
Review of Madness  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Rising Star Member to Member Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: I was browsing through your portfolio looking for something to read when I spotted this piece. I don't often read poery but when I saw the title and description of this piece, I was drawn right in.


*Checkg*What I liked:

I like the dark nature of this piece, the idea of thought of letting go completely not only to experience it but to let the demons free and experience that independence in a safe place. I really enjoyed reading this. The flow of the piece worked well and added to the nature of it. Thank you for sharing *Smile*



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Rising Stars:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
417
417
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm here with a review since you were locked up in the Jail a Thon! *Smile*


*Checkg*What I liked:

I always like finding out where people came up with their usernames and this is another great piece. It shows what inspired the name but also what the song meant to you and how you interpreted it and how it related to you as a person. I have seen you out and about in the community and let me tell you, you're full of community spirit *Smile*


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
418
418
Review of Paula  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey! I was looking for something to read and hit the random reivew button and this popped up, so here I am with a review!


*Checkg*What I liked:

I don't often read poetry so you'll have to bear with me. This piece instantly appealed to me because of the title (I have a friend named Paula). I really like the way you wrote this piece. You take the reader on a personality tour of this woman and describe her in minute details. It really drew me in with the style it was written in, it had a good, fast pace and the rhymes felt natural. I'm not sure if there was a rhyme pattern but whatever it was it worked! Thanks for sharing *Smile*


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
419
419
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I was looking for something to read and hit the random review button and this came up *Smile* So here I am with a review! I've never heard the word storoem used before but I'm guessing it's like a story in the form of a poem. I like it. I tend to call these ballad-style poems but what do I know?!

*Checkg*What I liked:

I really enjoyed reading this piece. I'm not sure enjoyed is the right word because it's such a sad piece about a man and wife being parted by death and the dreaded cancer. But when death draws near for him he greets it like an old friend because he wishes to be with his wife again. It's so sad but so sweet at the same time and it emanates with the love they have for each other.

The poem itself flows well and the rhymes feel natural. Thank you for sharing this *Smile*


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
420
420
Review of Nine  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I hit the random review button and this popped up, so here I am with a review!


*Checkg*What I liked:

I don't often read poetry but this piece presented the story of nine to me in a poetry format. I find those sort of ballad style poems easier to follow and this was no exception. I like the description you used in this piece, it really helped me get involved in the scene and see the characters and begin to understand how they felt. I do have to say though I'm not sure which sport it revolves around though I have an inkling it's baseball (which we don't really play in the UK).

Anyway, thanks for sharing!


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
421
421
Review of This damn war  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Elena, I stopped by to read and review this piece because you asked me to *Smile*

*Pencil*Storyline: This is a good piece based on a moment in history, the Civil War. We realise that Tommy, although only 14, has run off to join the fight and is taken on. He is wounded in battle and taken to the hospital where he is tended to be his older sister. Only later, he finds out that the war has affected her too.

This story really shows how war affects everybody, to those fighting, to those in the hospitals and those waiting at home. The repetition of the words 'This damn war' at the beginning and end of the piece is really effective and for me it really brought it home.

*People*Characters: Tommy is the main character in this. He's 14 and goes to war to help fight. We don't learn a lot about him or the other characters but we see how the war affects them. I like how it's all based in one family, it helps the reader see the impact of the war.

*Home*Setting: Ths takes place during the Civil War and the scene is set well with each change.



*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*“I’ll make you some tea..

Here there's just an extra full stop.

*BulletG*“I’ll make you some tea.

*BulletB*He beat out the battle positions as Lieutenant Thompson called them out ; each one was a code.

Here's there's just an extra space before the semi colon.

*BulletB*He beat out the battle positions as Lieutenant Thompson called them out; each one was a code.


*BulletR*He wanted to run back to the camp, to safety but there were bodies and gunfire and deafening cannons everywhere.

Here I would change the position of the comma:

*BulletR*He wanted to run back to the camp to safety, but there were bodies and gunfire and deafening cannons everywhere.

*BulletV*While he was looking around franticly
*BulletV*While he was looking around frantically

*Bullet*He had been shot more then once.
*Bullet*He had been shot more than once.

*BulletG*said Jenny when she returned with Alex, what have they done to you!

Here you're just missing the opening quotation mark.

*BulletG*said Jenny when she returned with Alex, "What have they done to you!

*BulletB*She wanted help those poor men like the angel she was..
*BulletB*She wanted help those poor men like the angel she was.

*BulletR*“this damn war.”

This just needs a capital.

*BulletR*“This damn war.”





Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
422
422
Review of Bury Me Now  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: I'm back with a third review. I chose to stay in the heart break folder


*Checkg*What I liked:

Again, this is another really emotional piece. This one is not about being betrayed or hurt, but being hurt because of the love that you want and don't have. The emotions in this piece come across really well and I could feel the sadness, the hurt, the loneliness of the situation you found yourself in. It had a very melancholy feel to it. The repetition of those words:

'Bury me now
so that I can be free'

worked really well and brought home the theme of the poem.

I really hope that things are better for you now *Heart*


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
423
423
Review of Giving Up  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm back with another review. When I spotted the folder dedicated to the heart ache you're going through, or have been through, I wanted to come by.


*Checkg*What I liked:

This is truly a sad piece about the pain of being heartbroken. Heart ache is one of those things that is almost indescribable but you've done a brilliant job here of helping the reader understand just how you feel and what it means to you. I think you did a really good job of explaining the repetitive nature of it too. So often we go back to those people we love no matter how they hurt us and it's because we love them, but it can often be taken advantage of. I hope that you're in a better place now *Smile*

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!

Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
424
424
Review of A WIFE'S DREAM  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm here with a review since you were locked up in the Jail a Thon! *Smile*


*Checkg*What I liked:

This was a really neat 55 word tale! You manage to get across the natural dialogue, the beginnings of character development and the emotions felt by both within just a little space. I think that's a major feat (I find it so hard to write these!)

Hope you're doing okay *Heart*

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
425
425
Review of So Far Gone  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm here with a review since you were locked up in the Jail a Thon! *Smile*


*Checkg*What I liked:

This piece shares a personal piece of your life. It lets the reader learn about the health problems you have had as well as how you've felt about it all. You sound like you were really determined to help yourself and regain a health you wanted to, that's great! I hope that things are still going well for you *Smile*


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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