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Review Requests: OFF
3,537 Public Reviews Given
4,150 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I tend to review using a format that I can comment on plot, characters, setting, atmosphere and dialogue. I also try to point out typos/errors and that sort of thing. This style may change depending on the item!
I'm good at...
I'm better with fiction than anything else. I might be able to have a go at poetry but please don't expect too much!
Favorite Genres
Horror, dark, suspense, thriller, mystery. However, I'm open minded and will read most genres.
Favorite Item Types
Statics - fiction.
Public Reviews
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451
451
Review of The Minute  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in "Invalid Item" ! I spotted this piece and the idea of a whole story fitting into a minute intrigued me!

*Pencil*Storyline: This tells the story of a man who, on his usual morning routine, seems to get stuck in a sort of momentary ground hog day which only lasts a minute but repeats over and over until he is able to get free of it.

I feel the narrative is a little passive and in that respect, it didn't keep me as engaged, but as it went on and he went through the cycles, I got a little more hooked!

*People*Characters: John is the man in this piece who is going through an endless cycle of de ja vu. At first we see his confusion and then his frustration but then we begin to see a change in his thought pattern as he realises what he is missing and forgetting to do. As the cycles continue John's personality begins to change and we see him breaking it and being spontaneous.

*Home*Setting: This takes place in and around John's home.

*Checkg*What I liked: I really like the way we see John changing his thoughts as the cycles progress, I thought that was well done.


*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*and in a single fluid motion tha wasted little momentum
*BulletG*and in a single fluid motion that wasted little momentum

*BulletB*"That’s cute, dear.."

You only need one period here at the end of the speech.

*BulletB*"That’s cute, dear."





Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
452
452
Review of Last Words  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm here to return a review you did for me, I can only apologise it's coming so late! I chose this piece because of the nature of it and also, Alice is my favourite name *Smile*

*Pencil*Storyline: You know, as I got to the end of this piece (which I really didn't see coming by the way) I felt a shiver go down my spine! This piece tells of a conversation between Alice and George, husband and wife, about why George won't be coming home anymore after he's been in an accident. This piece is written in entirely dialogue and makes me think there was a prompt to it.

*People*Characters: Alice and George are the main characters here. Alice presents as the loving, caring wife. She wants to make sure George is okay and is gradually scared by his condition and his words. George seems to be really laid back and we find out why towards the end of the story *Smile*

*Home*Setting: This is set in Alice and George's home.

*BurstR*Dialogue: This piece is written entirely in dialogue and I think it's really well done. You manage to incorporate the real life conversation that we hear, the emotions within that as well as actions. I think it's really well done.



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
453
453
Review of Arizona Arcade  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I wanted to come and return a review you did for me, I can only apologise it's taken me so long to get back to you! This piece intrigued me because I love games, so I wanted to see what this was all about.

*Pencil*Storyline: In this story we follow Jim as he plans and travels to the Yuma desert. I have to be honest and say that I didn't know a lot about what he was doing or why he was doing it. I also didn't find, as there usually is in a story, any conflict to impede Jim on his progress.

I would also say that the story seems to be told rather than shown. As a reader I found myself being told that this happens, then this happens, then Jim does this. To make it a bit more appealing I would have liked to know why and how and what things looked like and how he felt about it. That sort of detail makes the reader connect to the story. I hope that makes sense.

*People*Characters: Jim is the main character in this piece. Apart from the fact we know he wears denim and is travelling to the Yuma desert we don't know anything about him. I wanted to know why he was going to the desert, what his employment was, what his interests were. I also find that letting the reader know how the character is reacting and feeling through each part of the narrative helps them connect to that character.

*Home*Setting: This piece changes setting but the aim of it is to get to the Yuma desert.


*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*Jim with his Jeans Pants, Denim Jeans Shirt with a Cowboy hat and a long rope

Here you don't need anything but the first word capitalised as they are all common nouns.

*BulletG*Jim with his jean pants, denim jean shirt with a cowboy hat and a long rope

*BulletB*He was just reading the environment and climatic condition and trying to acclimatize about the place he is planning to visit.,he was just reading

Here this should be a full stop and then followed by a capital letter. I also noticed that you write this piece in past tense but the word is brings it into the present. I would write was instead.

*BulletB*He was just reading the environment and climatic condition and trying to acclimatize about the place he was planning to visit. He was just reading

*BulletR*he made all the preparations for preparing a temporary tent with the materials available without carrying much head load in order to survive.

Here you use 'preparations' and 'preparing' in the same sentence. I would change one to prevent repetition.

*BulletR*he made all the preparations for a temporary tent with the materials available without carrying much head load in order to survive.

*BulletV*tomb lies the treasure…He just made plans to reach the Yuma desert

Here you don't need the ellipsis as there is nothing missing. Instead I would suggest just using a full stop:

*BulletV*tomb lies the treasure. He just made plans to reach the Yuma desert

*Bullet*But to his he found some residues of the Jaguar..therefore he thought of following

There are a couple of issues here. There is a word missing after 'his'. Instead of the two full stops you have I would use a comma instead:

*Bullet*But to his amazement he found some residues of the Jaguar, therefore he thought of following


*NoteR*A few parting comments...

I would suggest trying to stick to once tense through; you start in the past tense but slide into the present in some places. It makes it harder for the reader to follow.

Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
454
454
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey! This piece came to me as a random review so I thought I'd stop by and read it *Smile*

*Pencil*Storyline: I LOVED reading this story! It was fun and witty and had me smiling all the way through, just what I needed. Following the escapades of Skylark Chesterton and his duck in the time machine was certainly an adventure! Even the way you write it was witty and fun!

*People*Characters: Skylark Xavier Chesterson VII is the main character in this piece and I can imagine him to be the dorkiest dork whoever did science, and I mean that in the nicesy way possible! His name is amazing and I love that you use it in full, it just adds to the comedic value *Smile* He is certainly quite a character (perhaps you should enter him into the What a Character Contest)

*Home*Setting: This takes place in Skylark's laboratory which is detminedly steampunk themed and emits steam all over the place. It fits well with the scene *Smile*

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: Funny and smiles *Smile*




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
455
455
Review of Who Am I?  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review since you were locked up in "Invalid Item" !


*Checkg*What I liked:

I always like stopping in and meeting the people behind the usernames so this piece really intrigued me! You've been really honest and open in this piece and I want to say thank you for doing that, I think it takes a lot of courage. It seemed that you did have to grow up quickly and I can only hope that things are better for you now and that you are happy in whatever you are doing. Thank you for sharing this with us *Smile*


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
456
456
Review of 2012 Reading List  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were locked up in "Invalid Item" !


*Checkg*What I liked:

This is a really neat list to keep and something I do myself *Smile* You seem to read a wide variety of books and I always think that's a great idea! I was wondering, how do you manage to have five books on the go at once?! I get confused if I've got more than a couple hehe. Did you manage to read all the books you wanted to in 2012?

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
457
457
Review of Describing Women  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review for you since you were locked up in the "Invalid Item" !


*Checkg*What I liked:

I actually saw that you edited this piece and when I saw the title and description, I had to come and check it out. I love the idea of this piece - that you've tried to describe a woman without actually saying the words. Labels are often applied and they all have soe sort of connotations. This was a really neat piece to have a go at!

I think you've done a really good job with this piece, you manage to compliment women across the world without having to use those feminine words *Smile* Well done on creating such a vivid and descriptive piece.


*Cut**Paste*I don't have any suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
458
458
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were locked up in "Invalid Item" !

*Pencil*Storyline: This tells the story of Alisa who, after getting in from work and spending some time chatting to Larry online, realises that she's been a bit silly in what she told him and starts to see things materialise in the shadows. Determined not to face another attack she takes the matter into her own hands.

*People*Characters: Alisa is the main character in this piece and do feel incredibly sorry for her. At the beginning I was wondering why she was checking the locks over and over but after the revelation from the police it all made sense. She must have been going through hell and was doing really well and moving on with her life, or trying to.

*Home*Setting: This takes place in Alisa's home.




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
459
459
Review of Angel of Death  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were locked up in "Invalid Item" !

*Pencil*Storyline: This tells the story of Hiram who is visited by the Angel of Death. After his pain and suffering he greets this angel like an old friend but it turns out the angel got it wrong...

I liked the twist in this piece, usually people fear death and try to hide from it but in this piece, we see someone welcoming it with open arms. It's sad at the same time.

*People*Characters: Hiram is the main character in this piece. We know how much he has suffered and I did feel for him.

*Home*Setting: I'm not sure where this took place but I don't think it's important to the plot.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This piece made me sad for the man who has suffered and it was highly ironic.




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
460
460
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were locked up in "Invalid Item" !


*Checkg*What I liked:

This tells the story of Pat who thinks her friends have forgotten her birthday. It almost breaks up the Chickdees until she is reminded of her mistake! Oops. At least she takes it well and it brings a smile to her face *Smile*

I really loved reading this piece, it was fun and light hearted and it came through so clear how much you love your friends!

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestion to make!


Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
461
461
Review of Night Terrors!  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were locked up in "Invalid Item" !


*Checkg*What I liked:

I always think 55 word challenges are difficult so I like both reading and writing them! I really enjoyed reading this piece. I think it captures the terror of a child at night really well, it's so atmospheric *Smile* Thanks for sharing this!

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
462
462
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were locked up in "Invalid Item" !


*Checkg*What I liked:

I love writing vignettes and feel that I'm full of them sometimes (WdC helped me realise what they actually were). I really liked this one, I think it's a brilliant description of the man within. It captures his essence and his personality brilliantly and really makes me want to know him too!

Thank you for sharing this with us!


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!




Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
463
463
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review of this piece for A Contest of Firsts!


*Checkg*What I liked:

Hey Megan, thanks for taking the time to write this piece and enter my contest, it's much appreciated *Smile* This is a really wonderful story that tells the reader about your first memorable Christmas and you tell us exactly why. Perhaps this Christmas kindled your love for dolls? You seemed like such a sweet child and I love how innocent you were about missing Santa!

Thanks for sharing this with us *Smile*


*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*An older girl, Debbie who was fourteen who was a friend of mine bought over her make up kit she had got for Christmas.
*BulletG*An older girl, Debbie who was fourteen who was a friend of mine brought over her make up kit she had got for Christmas.



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
464
464
Review of Madeline  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review of this piece for A Contest of Firsts!


*Checkg*What I liked:

Aw Elena, this is such a sad story! The first part of it really hooked me in. I love that your mum made up clues and had you search the house. I think that part is really exciting and intriguing, especially for kids. I can imagine that would have been a blast. And then the part where you found the kitten and named her was brilliant, you really showed me how happy you guys were *Smile*

However, the story took a turn for the worst and poor Madeline passed away in 2003. This part really moved me and I felt my eyes sting, I'm sorry that you had to go through this and lose the cat who was your Christmas miracle.

Thank you so much for sharing this with us *Smile*


*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*“Let them be surprised.

This just needs quotation marks at the end.

*BulletG*“Let them be surprised."


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
465
465
Review of Silent Witness  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review since you were locked up in "Invalid Item" 


*Checkg*What I liked:

Hey when I spotted this piece I knew I wanted to read it. The title was intriguing then when I found it was told through the perspective of a mirror, I couldn't resist. I think it's a really interesting piece, all the more so because we see the girl grow from being a baby to the seventeen year old woman she is. The mirror sees her for what she is, nothing is hidden and there is no judgement *Smile* It's a very perceptive and warm mirror, I like it! But honestly, this is a well thought out piece!


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
466
466
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in "Invalid Item" !

*Pencil*Storyline: This tells the story of Jenna's wedding, the day that is supposed to be the happiest of her life, but she is in fact surrounded by a swarm of bridesmaids she hardly knows, a feeling of isolation deep within. She knows she's not doing the right thing for her and when her ex, Kevin, stops by and asks her to change her mind, she considers this before telling him to leave. The ending was a little bit of a surprise for me. I thought that she'd leave with Kevin, forfeiting the big wedding she didn't want anyway for the love of her life, but then we find out why she couldn't.

I like that the ending of this piece was unpredictable because yes, although you are supposed to marry for love and your wedding day is supposed to be your happiest, there's nothing more genuine than a mother's love.

*People*Characters: Jenna is the main character in this piece and we watch the struggle in her mind throughout as she marries Jim, though she knows he is not the love of her life. I have to say she is a truly inspirational woman and at the end, when I realised what she'd done, I was happy knowing that she would love the child as much as, or even more than, any mother would.

*Home*Setting: This takes place at Jenna's wedding day on a snowy Winter's day.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This piece was full of passion and sadness.




*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*Where was this 3 years ago?”

Usually anything numerical 100 and below should be written out in full:

*BulletG*Where was this three years ago?”

*BulletB*and though she tried not to she lent into his touch.

For me, I'm not sure about the word 'lent'. I think it should be 'leaned'.

*BulletB*and though she tried not to she leaned into his touch.

*BulletR*Dropping the jacket in the snow she turned her back on him escaping back to the cacophony that had driven her unknowingly into his arms.

Here you use the word 'back' twice. I would maybe try something else to avoid repetition:

*BulletR*Dropping the jacket in the snow she turned her back on him, escaping to the cacophony that had driven her unknowingly into his arms.

*BulletV*Kevin’s words echoed in her mind “None of this is you!”

I think this could use a comma:

*BulletV*Kevin’s words echoed in her mind, “None of this is you!”

*Bullet*He would never of understood that she was bearing Jim's baby.

I think here the word 'of' should be changed to 'have'. I think that while it's fine when talking it's a little informal when written down:

*Bullet*He would never have understood that she was bearing Jim's baby.





Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
467
467
Review of Hodgepodge  
for entry "June 13 - Wheat" 
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Unratable.)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in "Invalid Item" !


*Checkg*What I liked:

I wasn't sure what to expect when I opened this piece, but I really enjoyed flicking through the entries. I see you use this place as one to jot down ideas, prompts and other small snippets of things and for that I think it's a really unique item. I enjoyed having a spy through some of the entries and while it's meant for you I have to say that some of the things I read I found quite inspirational *Smile* Perhaps it ill inspire a story of my own soon! Thanks for sharing this *Smile*

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
468
468
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in "Invalid Item" !


*Checkg*What I liked:

Okay, when I was looking for something in your port and stumbled across this piece, I couldn't help but open it! Lol. I have to say it was a highly amusing read and something that I could imagine would happen with fair frequency on a submarine full of men! I like the way you tell it too and I can imagine just how it went down *Smile*

Thanks for sharing!


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
469
469
Review of Sherri's Web page  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in "Invalid Item" !


*Checkg*What I liked:

Hey Sherri, I thought I'd come check out your website and I found it a delightful treat! The whole thing is so prettily made up *Smile* The background of flashing stars in amazing and really sets the tone of the whole thing, as well as the fairies dotted here and there *Smile* I like the way that you introduce yourself, what matters to you and parts of your personal life before going on to list some of your published works and where they're available.

I think everybody's website is different for them but you've done a great job with this and I hope I can build my web designing skills to this level!


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
470
470
Review of Megan's Ballroom  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review since you were jailed in "Invalid Item" !


*Checkg*What I liked:

Hey Megan *Smile* I spotted this forum in your port and decided to check it out. I have to say I've not seen it before but I think it's a great idea. An open forum where people can drop by and share whatever they want from their rant of the day to a new item they'd like some reviews on *Smile* Great idea!


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
471
471
Review of Julian's Secret  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review since you were jailed in "Invalid Item" !

*Pencil*Storyline: When I saw this and it was likened to Alice in Wonderland, I couldn't resist. It's one of my favourites! I really like this one too. It tells the story of a young boy, Julian, who can't resist the curiosity he feels when discovering a small door in the base of a tree, what twelve year old boy could? So he goe sto investigate and plunges into the world of Ecila who takes him to meet the Queen who is very angry indeed...

I didn't see that ending coming either! I thought it was real. So you caught me with that one, well done *Smile*

*People*Characters: Julian is the main character in this piece. He's a curious young boy who wants nothing more than to find out what the door in the base of the tree is. I love him for his bravery and the courage he shows in facing the queen.

I have to say, I love that his little sister is called Dinah (nice touch) and it was also a nice touch to have Alice's name in there, even if it was spelled backwards (which I didn't twig onto!)

*Home*Setting: This takes place in wonderland and it's just as cool and crazy as I remember it!

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: Fun and adventure!




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
472
472
Review of All Hallows Eve  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review since you were jailed in "Invalid Item" !

*Pencil*Storyline: This story tells of a young woman who comes back to visit her parents on All Hallows Eve despite the fact that she passed away several years ago, her spirit can't seem to rest.

For me, while this piece was interesting, I felt like the narrative held me at a distance. I wasn't able to get to know the characters well and rather than being there and understanding the scene, I saw it as if I was looking in the window.

*People*Characters: As I mentioned above, I felt a little detached from this piece and I think perhaps the characters had a lot to do with that. You tend to refer to each of the characters as 'the old man' or the 'young woman' which doesn't sit well with me. It left me wondering who each of them were and getting confused in places. I think giving them all names earlier in this piece would help.

*Home*Setting: This takes place in the family home, a formal place for dinner.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This piece was a little creepy but mostly sad, knowing that the daughter cannot stop visiting.




*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*The young woman run to them,

I think this should be 'ran'

*BulletG*The young woman ran to them,

*BulletB*The middle aged man kissed her cheek and reached to huge his father.
*BulletB*The middle aged man kissed her cheek and reached to hug his father.




Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
473
473
Review of TEENAGE MOTHER  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in {item::1830792}

*Pencil*Storyline: This short story is a little sad piece about a young mother who can't deal with her new baby and the social services turn up.

I think you've done well with the word limit but it does leave some questions for me, like who called the social services and why.

*People*Characters: The young mother and her mother are the main characters in this piece. It seems the teenage mother is struggling to adapt to her new life as a mother and is feeling pressure from her own mother. I did wonder about the relationship between the two.

*Home*Setting: I think this piece is set in the mother's house.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This piece made me feel really sad for the young woman. I can imagine it would be a difficult life to live.


*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*The baby cried. Mommy looks down at her baby, confused.

In this line we switch between past and present tense. I would try to stick to one or the other. I would write:

*BulletG*The baby cried. Mommy looked down at her baby, confused.





Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
474
474
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in the "Invalid Item" !


*Checkg*What I liked:

Hey MEgan, when I spotted this piece I couldn't resist stopping by! I think it's a really neat idea and lets people come together to share their favourite hobbies and share and swap ideas. I really love that *Smile* The description you give at the beginning of the forum tells us what hobbies you have and what you love collecting and I have to say you have such an extensive love of different things and different activities! I love it *Smile* Thanks for sharing this with us!

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
475
475
Review of Nightmare Circus  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review because you were jailed in the "Invalid Item" !

*Pencil*Storyline: This tells the story of Sammy, a young boy who is visited by the Nightmare Circus one night as it pitches the tent on an empty field outside of his home. He is compelled but scared but after being persuaded by an odd looking clown he allows himself to be led inside. Things go from bad to worse as he is eventually recruited and has to face the same torment he had to watch before...

*People*Characters: Sam is the main character in this piece. He's a young boy, possibly about twelve, who is lured by the circus. He goes despite the fear he feels which shows he's either brave or silly! Hehe. He's a well rounded character and the way you write made me root for him.

*Home*Setting: This takes place in the Nightmare Circus. You set the scene well *Smile*

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This piece was really tense throughout, it kept me hooked!




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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