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2,307 Public Reviews Given
2,307 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to be honest and positive. My Christian faith is an important background factor. I hate rating low but have a system that determines how I grade.
 
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#2259390 by LightinMind
I'm good at...
More interested in the content of what you write than the style. Theological, political, historical, scientific, or experiential, or indeed anything that paints a vision of the future. A good grammar checker will tell you about spelling and commas.
Favorite Genres
Not entirely sure as I like most stuff. I prefer something with a soul rather than purely secular. But I like Sci-Fi, anything Christian, and also 'What-if' type speculations with plausible plots.
Least Favorite Genres
Anything that fails to look for a way out of the darkness. You can be dark, just don't wallow in it. Generally, I try to steer clear of Fantasy, and most Dark or Horror stories just make me laugh or grimace due to their ignorance of the dark side.
Favorite Item Types
I have really liked some of the heartwarming dramas I have read here particularly personal stories. Thought-provoking poems or stories are cool also though I am no expert on poetical forms.
Least Favorite Item Types
Anything that is just an affirmation of the dark side. I hate empty words. I always look for human intelligence. I try and avoid Fantasy and Horror where there is no metaphorical resonance or connection with real-world truth.
I will not review...
I mainly review at random and just see what grabs my attention. I will usually skip stuff I do not like unless it gets me riled or if it is interesting for other reasons.
Public Reviews
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Review of Newbie!!!!  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Alexandria Bawell . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Newbie!!!!"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Alexandria Bawell explains why she is here and what kind of genre of writing she is interested in. In a world of pain, fantasy and paranormal stories are where she wants to focus her writing efforts as they transport her to a world of her own choosing.


*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

Welcome to Writing.com and I hope you find the experience of being here as fulfilling and therapeutic as I and many others have.

In this short piece, you say hello with a lot of positive energy, and humility and you clarify your goals. You may well find that as you enter contests and review other people's works your focus will become more refined or even shift entirely.

In an age where AI is increasingly competent, it is worth considering how to use the various AIs out there to complement your writing activities. As guides, not gurus, as you should always be the one in charge.

For example, quillbot.com is good for grammar checking as is Grammarly which can be loaded into your browser for free.

For cover pictures, there is DALL E and Dream Studio from Instability AI for example.

ChatGPT-3 (soon 4) is also a good way to research subjects in a conversational style (that is the new google) though I would never trust it to write my stories for me.

The best thing to do though is to get involved to write and to read other people's stuff continually.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

I love writing and creating a whole new world that only existed [exists] in my thoughts.

Reading and writing makes me happy in a world where there is so much pain. - Reading and writing form a group in this case and so are singular- so should be 'make' not 'makes' in this sentence.

I have finally taken the dive - maybe plunge is better


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
227
227
Review of Ella's Story  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Jruns890 . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Ella's Story"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Ella has autism and a stutter and it is difficult for her to make friends. She is isolated and mocked in school and beginning work also does not improve her situation. Then one day she meets Rosie in the park...


*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

This was an ahh that's sweet kind of story and genuinely heartwarming. A person who has suffered or been isolated may struggle to relate to someone like Ella. But Rosie has her own pains and with that comes the depths to understand and empathize with Ellas' situation.

It used to be a rule of thumb for me to avoid the "cool" people as they were too superficial to build anything lasting. I preferred geeks, jocks, foreigners, and people with some kind of pain as they were more interesting to me and had deeper stories. OK maybe not the jocks or indeed many of the geeks on the list, but sport and understanding things is not really about the touchy-feely stuff.

I liked the content of this.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

I found a really great tool quillbot.com which helps identify many of the grammar, sentence structure, and word choice issues in this piece. You might want to check it out. Never let the AI just take over the checking process however as it often misses your meaning. Treat it as a guide, not a guru.

You might want to separate your paragraphs and increase the size of the font also to improve the look and feel of the piece and make it more accessible to readers.


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
228
228
Review of A Slower Return  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Brian KC . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "A Slower Return"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

An Autumn leaf seems to many to simply fall and die but this poet sees a little more in that fallen leaf and its slow gentle colorful return to the soil where the cycle begins again.


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

Powerful descriptive language that left me feeling both sorry and exulted for a leaf. Or were we looking at something deeper here, you did use the relationship genre tag after all. If this is about a relationship then it is about one that is over. Its love and its essence may bleed back into the soil of life where new possibilities may grow but that leaf is gone and eyes that may have wept over that are now dry.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

Maybe drenched not damped by cold rain.

From green to orange [,] then black, you died.


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
229
229
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, JCosmos . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "the day of the triffids arrives "  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The doom of the masters of the universe is at hand and ferocious Triffids roam the streets.

*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

It has been a while since I read John Wyndham's Day of the Triffids and maybe my perception has been confused by a few TV adaptations. I remember the blindness of mankind, due to the light show in the sky that they all watched, being the main reason for their vulnerability to these slow-moving plants.
Mankind in his greed was cultivating the Triffids for a long time before their day arrived for the oil that could be extracted from them. Also, the book was not all doom and gloom as we still have the Isle of Wight to begin the fight back on.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

sunflowers plants mobilize - double plural and wrong tense given One Day - sunflower plants mobilized (did Triffids look like sunflowers?)

This did read a little more like chopped-up prose to me than a poem.

But you did say it in eight lines.


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
230
230
Review of blog #8  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, britbvby . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "blog #8"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A rant to "everyone" about "him." He left her in the past, yet says he loves her still. She walked out on him, hurting him then but now she wants a new start. She admits she made mistakes and was careless with his heart but does not understand his current coldness. Is this a hypocritical revenge thing, with him blind to the mistakes he also made, or is this, as he says, right woman wrong time? She suspects that he enjoyed playing around and never really loved her in the first place.

*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

If you base romantic commitment on feelings then things get messy and are completely dynamic. True love is an act of will as much as an act of feeling. This is a man who cannot decide which woman he wants to commit to and whose words and actions tell different stories. This is a woman who has done the same but has now settled on a man who is not ready to settle down himself. The rant lacks reference to commitment and promise because maybe there were none. Words can be easy and combined with sexual encounters suggesting promise and commitment, without any real sacrifices made, can be deceptive.

I do not know if this is about a genuine man but if it is forget him he is not worth it. Find a guy you can trust instead. Maybe it will be a transformed version of this man at a future date, but it is not him right now. It may also be the case that you are basing your rant on feelings that may not last the year.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

The yous and the I's get confused in this rant at times.

You might want to check out https://quillbot.com/grammar-check. It completely lights up with your piece. This reduces the number of stars that you can get for what you write. You can ignore it when you are quoting or speaking dialog as you would normally but you need a lot of missing commas, some sentences are confusing and you are missing apostrophes on possessives and homophone contractions.


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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231
231
Review of New shoots  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Sumojo . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "New shoots"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Mary is tending her husband Ben's grave when she sees Tom racking the last of Autumn's leaves. He commentates on the new buds of life on the oak tree that will come with the Spring. They walk together and new feelings emerge also...


*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

Mary is the widow getting over her husband Ben. Tom is the Gardner in the graveyard. The conversation is as natural and timely as the seasons. Maybe as green buds appear so also true affection between the two will also come. Though in practice precisely matching seasonal cycles to human emotions is a little more complex than that.

I loved your use of descriptive language and the gentle, warm yet respectful flow of the conversation between Tom and Mary. Janet in her brief appearance comes across as the nosey slightly irritating gossip in the cafe. The lie about the longevity of their friendship feels authentic because you have already established the connection between the characters.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Autumn is a common noun and is therefore not capitalized in mid-sentence.

You might want to check out quillbot.com. It identifies a lot of errors with commas.

You got all the key phrases in.


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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232
232
Review of ME ON THE MENU  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, SandraLynn Team Florent! . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "ME ON THE MENU"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

This funny poem is about mosquitoes. The poet seems to hate them as much as I do.


*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

You are preaching to the choir here, I hate these creatures and have never been clear on their value in creation. I remember a night in a hotel with three blood gorged mosquitoes high on the ceiling where I could not reach them. I kept the lights on so I could see them coming. Finally, they came to feast and I killed them with my curled-up magazine. But your poem takes us into what sounds like jungle conditions, unprotected, and makes the reader into a feast for these insectile terrorists.
Swarms of these creatures biting, sucking whirling, buzzing...

A true nightmare!


*Quill*Mechanical issues

My grammar checker lit up, but when I read the poem I thought your choices were creative and reasonable ones. So the AI does not always know best.


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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233
233
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, WriterAngel . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I saw "Ships Passing in the Night"  on the list of Sci-Fi Contest entries for last month. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The winner of the Sci-Fi contest discusses the experience of humanity from that of a life form so alien that we would not recognize it even staring directly in its face.


*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

Congratulations on winning the Sci_Fi contest with this story.

The big idea here is that the aliens are so strange that we would not recognize them even if we were looking directly at them

The alien's discussions of humanity seemed to revolve around their chemical composition and I found that a little repetitive at times. They were interesting because they were not made of energy but rather of carbon and water, yet they still managed to make waves worth checking out by the aliens.

If you are pure energy then I guess the chemical reactions used to propel rocket engines would seem wasteful and the results very slow. But maybe also such creatures would not be vulnerable to the chemical and biological processes of decay that humans suffer from and could live for eons.

With a being made of energy in the manner described, I would wonder how the borders of me, not me and the other would be defined. Would it vary by medium so that in a fog both Quilda and Quarl would blur into each other?


*Quill*Mechanical issues

it’s composition && It’s quite smooth - its

Inside of the shell


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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234
234
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Kåre Enga in Montana . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Owls at the hour of moonset"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A still active user wrote a poem about death 17 years ago. Or has the owl just not hooted and the moon just not set yet?


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

To me, an owl is a hunter in the twilight and dusk of small rodents. He is hated by the local birds and they gang up on him when he sits in the tree outside my home office. He is impressive, much larger than the tits, robins, and blackbirds that he scares so much.

According to some native American tribes, the owl is a harbinger of death and I believe this is your meaning in this poem.

As always your descriptions are seductive. I liked the phrasing relating to lacelike dreams. You communicated the barrier between this world and the next by dwelling on the insubstantial drapes like dreams through which perhaps you saw owls announcing your death. You seemed to welcome this as a liberation from pain and your experience of the moment is alone. The moonset is the moment of death.

I guess since you are still an active member here, news of your death was somewhat exaggerated and you lived to fight another day. Did the moon somehow also miss the horizon or did sleep rescue you from the dark and the owl's final visit?


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Nothing major


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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235
235
Review of Disposition  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, jaya . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Disposition"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

About the strong-minded people who can stay positive in the worst of times.


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

This is a very topical poem for me as I am giving a sermon on the Beatitudes today. Jesus urges his followers to rejoice through their hardships in expectation of the promise of the reign of God to come, in which they will be amply rewarded.

It is been my privilege to know a number of people like the ones described in your poem who despite great personal pain or sacrifice were able to keep smiling, cheerful, and composed in the worst of times and to be a positive force for good despite all that.

It is the weak and the godless who look at the world as if the cup were always half empty and pain and suffering were the only realities worth commentating on. The strength to persevere and to be a light in the darkness is a gift of God's grace that requires faith.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

I found the irregular length of the lines and rhyming pattern a little disruptive. Also, the phrasing choices seemed odd at times. It read more like prose than poetry in some stanzas.


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
236
236
Review of Writing.Com 101  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, The StoryMistress . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received {item:} via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

There are a great many things that you can do on this site of which you might not be aware. This is a pretty comprehensive overview on how to use ML


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

I usually skip these when reviewing but this time I read it through and realized I had been doing a whole load of things wrong.

It is new to me that you can link to another user with xxx
Also that you can actually display merit badges in the items you won them with. I always wondered what was the point of giving a merit badge for a contest when you could not display it like an award icon.

Invalid Merit Badge #xxx


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Nothing major


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
237
237
Review of This Time  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, BlueJay . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received {item:} via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A first-person account of the fears and struggles of a person psyching themselves up for the big event. Will they make it or not?


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

The build-up was good and I was wondering if you were talking about some kind of performance on a stage by a musician or actor auditioning. Maybe it was a major political speech or a sporting event of some sort. But then came the moment of truth and it brought back some memories of when I did the same test.

The first time I tried that test I was not paying attention and was high on adrenalin. The school had two entrances, one a way out and the other a way in. The first thing I did was drive out of the way in!! Fastest fail in the history of the test I think.

The second time I was far more nervous since I had messed up so badly the first time and this time I got it right. I think that fear is probably a key to success sometimes and a sign that I am taking it seriously. I stand on a stage more regularly now and sometimes that fear is completely missing because I am familiar with coping and working stuff through. But sometimes I wonder if that nervousness is actually something I need, something valuable that makes the difference between genuine connection and good performance.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

You might want to try out quillbot.com It reveals a lot of minor errors with commas, word choices, and sentence structures


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
238
238
Review of It'd be me  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, serine can write . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "It'd be me"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Love and murder combine in this strange song about longing, avoidance, imprisonment, and violent reaction

*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

This was an interesting and passionate song spoilt by lots of minor errors.

The singer sounds dangerous and especially in the last verse which appears to describe the murder of the beloved/hated. This is a song filled with paranoia, nightmares, wounds, and brokenness and the consequence of the messed up mind is a life gone down to the grave.

The contrast between white clothes and messed up thoughts was well described. But you seemed to suggest that the white-clothed man was wild-eyed also which did not quite fit the image.

How do you smell a metal bracelet? It does not have a smell.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

There are a lot of grammatical issues here. There is a spelling mistake in the description

So intrested in your opinions ! - So interested in your opinions!

Cleaning the knife in your white sweatshirt - Cleaning the knife on your white sweatshirt

What a shame I'm a mad! - What a shame I'm so mad!


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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239
239
Review of 9/11  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, QueenNormaJeanGreeneggs&vegham . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "9/11 "  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The author remembers how she got to know about 911.


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

I am married to an American and have an American grandfather but I saw the events of 911 from Britain in the server room of our IT department. The night shift had rigged up a TV there and the whole department gathered around it watching events unfold. Little if any work was done that day as most of our customers were also watching. The whole world was with America on that day and even Germany sent ground forces to Afghanistan in response. Twenty years later the last troops have left Afghanistan and new divisions plague America. The dangers of civil war seem more real than that of radical Muslims blowing things up.

Your own personalized account was an interesting read and quite triggering.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

You might want to check our quillbot.com. It is very good at spotting minor errors.

10 AM - 10 a.m.

I answered to find on the other line my current husband. - I answered to find my current husband on the other end of the line


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
240
240
Review of Planets and Moons  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello, Thaddeus Buxton Winthrop . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Planets and Moons"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A person is obsessed with Horoscopes without having much in the way of supporting evidence for their efficacy.

*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

I have worked with Hindus who would swear by astrological charts and who even got married on the basis of the pronouncements of a local astrologer back in India. Also of course a whole bunch of Western papers also run astrological predictions for the day. Some people even use this as a part of their chat-up routines, as if your star sign was any kind of guide to compatibility. For some, I guess it is a frivolous thing, and for others, much more serious.

The notion that the movement of the stars and the planets are entangled with our own fates is quite an old one with for example a bunch of astrologers finding the Son of God by following a star. It is however banned in the bible. In modern physics, the notion of quantum entanglement seems to echo these themes.

There might even be something to all this but the signals seem fundamentally broken to me and there are better ways of obtaining higher levels of understanding


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Who's that someone you shall someday marry? -
Who is the person you hope to marry someday?

Who knows[?] [O]ne day you could become famous.

They'll come a time; someone will call your bluff.
There will come a time; someone calls your bluff

The Planets and moons - The planets and moons


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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241
241
Review of Humphrey  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, TaeBelle . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Humphrey"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Humphrey wakes up without Ellie in the bed, he can still smell her on the sheets, and he can smell the coffee she loves, he rises to join her...

*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

I loved this and did not anticipate the ending. Definitely had Humphrey pegged in a different species.

The way you defined the sense of absence and lured Humphrey out of the bed with the sense of smell should have been a clue for me. But having read the ending it added to the authenticity of the piece.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

You might want to check out quillbot.com which is very good and identifying missing commas and offering better sentence structures.

So for example:

I could hear her even from here boiling water, the scent of coffee hit my nose as I padded towards the lounge room; I was not a fan of the stuff but Ellie seems to enjoy it so I cannot complain about something she clearly loves. -
The scent of coffee hit my nose as I padded towards the lounge room; I wasn't a fan of the stuff, but Ellie seems to enjoy it, so I can't complain about something she clearly loves.


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


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Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, Note Fleurie . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Prince Harry Even Outshines Di"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Prince Harry has a star quality that even outshines his mother. He is in touch with his humanity unlike the sociopaths in the rest of his family and he is the first of a new kind of royal. Megan was treated unfairly by the media.


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

Being British by birth Harry and his grandad Philip were my favorite royals before Harry married Megan and his Grandad died. Now my favorite royal is Kate. She has the dignity and class to make a queen and unlike Megan the quality to make the monarchy work.

Megan is portrayed by the press as a manipulative narcissistic attention seeker who just never understood her place. Her husband was indeed once the spare heir and third in line to the throne. Now with Kate having produced three children and the death of the Queen, he is at number five with little chance of becoming King. So running off with an American divorcee actress was a lot less serious that the 1937 Edward and Wallis Simpson scenario. If it was just about freedom from royal duties and finding a good space for his family to grow up on him I was of the opinion good for him at that point.

Having watched that slick Netflix diatribe on the media and royal family and being aware of the accusations of his new book Spare my opinion of him and that of most of the British public has turned decidedly hostile. Making money off gossip about your family is a dirty gig and even worse when the monarchy is so central to British public life and indeed that of the Commonwealth. His acts of petty sabotage are well nigh inexcusable and in another age, they would have constituted treason and warranted the death penalty. Harry now seems petty, boasting about the number of Taliban he killed, talking about fights with his brothers and other throw-away comments, and then selling them to the papers and publishers he purports to despise. His actions are contemptible.

What happened to Diana was tragic. Charles treated her badly from the start and was not honest with her about the situation with Camila. After the divorce, she was completely unhinged and did some foolish stuff. But the public loved her and her death while still young and beautiful evoked a powerful reaction in the British public. Harry purports to hate the media for what they did to her but is clearly playing them to his own advantage and using them to make money. Some stories should never be sold and Harry is selling them.

So regarding the substance of your piece, I could not disagree more with what you wrote though you write reasonably well.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

One can easily he is just as loved by the public as sweet Diana was loved. - He is clearly loved by the public in the same way that sweet Diana was.

You might want to try out quillbot.com. Your piece has a great many simple errors which could be easily avoided using this tool


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


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243
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Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, Naomi . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "How Do I Love You ?"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A love poem with a freedom theme.


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

I found the lines a little awkward.

This line especially is meant to be your hook for the rest of the poem but is quite offputting.

Let me love you with the freedom of loving you

I would rephrase a lot and try and simplify some of the themes. What you say is inspiring enough but is struggling to find a way of expression that connects. For example I might have said it like this:

Let me be free to love you
to laugh with you
not at you

To cry with you
though not because of you
to love life
to love each other

To love being loved
freely
untainted by jealousy

Let me love you
With all my heart and soul...



Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


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Review of Hi Daddy  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Bikerider . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Hi Daddy"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Moving account of a little girl who has a routine of talking to her daddy every night while he is away in the war...


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

This piece completely wowed me if that is even an adjective, simply awesome. A father returning from the war to hear this would never forget it. Also what a daughter! She hears and sees so much with so much wisdom beyond her years. Every veteran would wish this account were true. Maybe she should have prayed this to God rather than her actual dad but the sentiment is really the same here.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

I found a cool new tool that is really good at finding missing commas. Try quillbot.com. Below are just a few examples of that.

when I heard sounds coming from her bedroom[,] I opened the door

A special day for all the mommies and daddies that had to go away. ["]But I need to talk to you[,] Daddy,

I'll have it forever[,] Daddy, because you gave it to me.

Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


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Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, {user:beth6105. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Early January 2023"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

When Christmas comes to end and all the decorations are put away, the house feels a little bare and cold, like the snow still falling outside. We have put on weight from all the food and this is the darkest time of the year on the Northern plains.


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

I might be at a similar or even higher latitude than you. Winter is dark here and the nights are long and cold. When the daylight comes I try to get out there. Today I plan a big run to shed some of those festive pounds, hidden under the winter clothes you were talking about. There is no snow right now but it is cold, I actually love running in snow as usually I am the only one and the peace and the stillness in the forests around here are fabulous.

We had a very cold snap in early December and everyone switched the gas on. There were worries here in Germany that we would run out but then came warmer weather and new LNG terminals and now the gas stocks are actually rising and high even in the middle of Winter. Maybe our houses will stay warm this Winter after all until Spring and warmth returns.

I loved this line:

the pounds
Taking residence under winter clothes
May stay until June.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Nothing major found.


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


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Review of The Haunted Night  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello, horrorthoughts . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "The Haunted Night"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Karen is huddled up on the couch with a book during a dark and stormy night. She is scared and then a stranger knocks on her door...


*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

So a scared woman answers the door to a soaking wet stranger on her doorstep who appears to have a supernatural presence standing behind her. She lets her into her house and then finds that she is some kind of fear-eating vampire. She runs for her life.

The story itself was a little bit cliched and spoilt by the poor presentation. Maybe you should have concealed the supernatural presence behind the woman until she was in the house. That would have made the decision to let her in sound more reasonable.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

This reads as though English is not your first language. There is some really good translation software out there at deepl.com for example. Also, your grammar and sentence structures are appalling. Check out quillbot.com or load the Grammarly free tool to see what I mean. There are too many errors here to commentate on. But for example, this sentence makes absolutely no sense.

She was in her thoughts and imagine for happing someone's horror with her And this is a horror night for her.

Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


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Review of Christmas Blues  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, G. B. Williams . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Christmas Blues"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

This is a story about a man whose plans for baking get frustrated at Christmas time on a regular basis. A man who does not have unlimited wealth and who seeks to navigate a way through the Christmas blues to connect with his family nonetheless. Maybe the man should lose some weight but fundamentally he wants a working oven so that he can bake. Failing that there is always COSTCO.

*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

I got a little confused at the beginning of this because you said that you stayed at the Marriot Hotel last year, for Christmas, but you complained about your oven not working for the last two years. Then I realized that the faulty oven drove you out of the house so that you had a place to entertain your family. So that makes this year's solution the COSTCO cakes.

There were some good lines in this like:

How big would the box have to be to package all of that love?

It seems that Christmas for you is about family, rather than presents though baking seems a big part of it also. There is no mention of the Son of God who came into the evil Empire of this world to rescue us from our sins.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

There were a lot of mechanical issues here and the text could do with a bit of editing to make it more readable. Missing commas, and sentence structures. You might want to try out quillbot.com which is quite good at identifying things like that.

ask yourself[,] "How big would the box have to be to package all of that love?"

We were going to always be happy[,] or rich[,] or healthy[,] or able to go and come as we pleased


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


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Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Damon Nomad . This is a Raid Review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* "You are 99.99% Empty Space"  was selected by the top reviewers list for this time around. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

You are 99.9% empty space and I can see right through you. The author explains the science behind this statement.

*Quill*Commentary

If I focus on the single electron or proton I guess everything seems very small and spaced out. But these things move fast so they fill their orbits at least in the manner of a fan spinning fast appears to fill all the spaces between its spokes. Also, there are the hidden tentacles of attraction and repulsion reaching out from these minute particles toward each other. Space is empty and yet it isn't.

Your piece made me think about the bible verse from Hebrews 11:3 (NASB)

By faith we understand that the world has been created by the word of God so that what is seen has not been made out of things that are visible.

If I were a strict materialist I would be quite depressed at my own perceived emptiness. But by faith, I can believe that what cannot be seen might be more important than what can be. Indeed modern science estimates that 95% of the mass of the universe is dark energy or matter than gives us no electromagnetic signature. Is that also true of ourselves, of an unseen mass that cannot be described in those orbital diagrams that first explained atoms and electrons to us in school?

Also, the coherence of my being lies not in the sum of its parts but rather in my soul. Materialists atomize reality in the spirit of Democritus but the soul provides a holistic coherence guaranteed by the Word of God. The Universe and I exist because He spoke, not because He assembled us from preexisting matter. Our parts matter less than our persons to Him.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

You might want to check out quillbot.com. I ran your essay through it and got a load of comma issues and sentence structure-type notifications. Never do a fix-all on the tool as the AI does not always get your true meaning. But it is a helpful way to analyze potential errors.


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


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249
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Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, kenwood101. This is a Raid Review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* "Return To A Narrow Road"  was selected from the top reviewers list for this time around. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The author reflects on a life that moved from the wide road to the narrow road. From a reprobate life to one of service and godly giving.

*Quill*Commentary

You write in an engaging way that pulls people into your scene. It is a very descriptive account full of golf balls, laptops, rodeo cowboy pictures, and other mementos from a long life. You seem at peace pondering and pottering rather than with a singular focus, maybe that is the life of a retiree.

It was interesting how you summarised periods of your life with references to music. Different songs and artists sum up different moments and times. You portray them like ghosts from different eras. You served in Vietnam but that seems to belong to the old you the one before bible verses and worship songs. At that time you were on the broader way to destruction rather than the narrow way that led to your present peace. Not that arriving in your current peace was not a difficult way to take. You understate the challenges overcome here yet overcome they were.

Your story is that of a path toward God and it is in His presence that you cherish the rising-moon-over-the-fairway moment, not just today but forever.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

You are missing commas. I have been using quillbot.com recently to find these. Check it out you might be pleasantly surprised.

I am sitting in my office surrounded by the shear [sheer] essence of who I am.


Thanks for sharing.

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Review of Too Much To Ask  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, AmyJo- only 2 steps behind - . This is a Raid Review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* "Too Much To Ask"  was selected by the top reviewers list for this time around. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

This is a poem about Henry VIII's decision to divorce his wife and create the Anglican church to support his decisions.


*Quill*Commentary

I liked this poem which was on a favorite historical theme.

Henry VIII allowed for the formation of a church that has been very successful around the world and done a lot of good. But its sordid roots in his repeated divorces and adulteries are a matter of shame.

Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived is the way I remember his wives.

Thomas Cranmer would be burned at the stake by Bloody Mary for his protestant convictions. However, regarding Henry's marriages you are right he was a total yes man who just did what he was told justifying from scripture what could not be justified from scripture.

You are also right that Henry was a paranoid killer king who brooked no opposition. On one history site, I read that he executed 57000 people in his 36-year reign, many of them clergy. Bloody Mary by contrast only burned 280 people at the stake. Even Edward VI killed more than her at 5000+

So the content pans out

*Quill*Mechanical issues

Catherine of Aragon, not Katherine.

The point of view of the poem is focused on Henry and is narrated in the third person.

Some of the phrases are a little awkward and seem mainly designed to make the rhyme work.

But because of a frailty
His mind he did turn


Thanks for sharing.

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