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2,292 Public Reviews Given
2,292 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to be honest and positive. My Christian faith is an important background factor. I hate rating low but have a system that determines how I grade.
 
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#2259390 by LightinMind
I'm good at...
More interested in the content of what you write than the style. Theological, political, historical, scientific, or experiential, or indeed anything that paints a vision of the future. A good grammar checker will tell you about spelling and commas.
Favorite Genres
Not entirely sure as I like most stuff. I prefer something with a soul rather than purely secular. But I like Sci-Fi, anything Christian, and also 'What-if' type speculations with plausible plots.
Least Favorite Genres
Anything that fails to look for a way out of the darkness. You can be dark, just don't wallow in it. Generally, I try to steer clear of Fantasy, and most Dark or Horror stories just make me laugh or grimace due to their ignorance of the dark side.
Favorite Item Types
I have really liked some of the heartwarming dramas I have read here particularly personal stories. Thought-provoking poems or stories are cool also though I am no expert on poetical forms.
Least Favorite Item Types
Anything that is just an affirmation of the dark side. I hate empty words. I always look for human intelligence. I try and avoid Fantasy and Horror where there is no metaphorical resonance or connection with real-world truth.
I will not review...
I mainly review at random and just see what grabs my attention. I will usually skip stuff I do not like unless it gets me riled or if it is interesting for other reasons.
Public Reviews
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Review of Do Not Enter?  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, AmyJo- only 2 steps behind - . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Do Not Enter?"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A cheerfully scary Halloween poem.


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

It is funny how the grotesque masks of Halloween with all their fake darkness and stereotypical scary stuff can seem cheery in the times we live in. But I found myself smiling as I thought about witches, angry black cats, and bubbling cauldrons but then came the axe and that felt a little too real.

You got the three phrases in, full marks for your presentation, though you used a bullseye image to describe a miss.

The laughing witch's image transmitted to me the feeling of dressed-up school kids knocking on doors for candy. But then being let into a house with an actual bubbling cauldron should have been a warning sign and then there was that axe. I guess this person will not be eating candy for dinner.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Nothing major


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


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302
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Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, Rojodi . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received ""Where's My Book?""  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Mindbending tale of dreams within dreams as we search for Ray Bradburys Anthology.

*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

I got a bit lost here and found the text confusing even allowing for the supernatural factor. I presume 'I' is the father (Jennifer's beloved Lawrence). The book went missing in the bedroom. It was the daughter Nicole who found it in the bathroom. She put it back in the bedroom. But the mother is holding it at an undisclosed location. Then Lawrence wakes up and the book is in the bathroom again!??

But Jennifer no longer lives with Lawrence in reality and no explanation is given about Nicole's custody. So I guess this is supernatural because we have a book moving around the house without explanation or alternate human cause being a factor.

Or Lawrence simply went nuts when his wife left him and as the story says Ray Bradbury's anthology may well be a poor replacement for her.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

3AM - 3 AM

I leaned off the edge, [to] see if it went under the bed.

The only things I saw here [there were] the shoeboxes she left.

It wasn’t on [in] either place.


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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303
303
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hello, Monalisa Vandercox . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Letter to My Enemy"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A poem about addiction to Vodka and the drinker's decision to choose herself over the drink.


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

There seem to have been a range of reasons to drink in this poem: The pleasure of the taste, the ways in which fears and inhibitions were dismantled by drinking, and the ways in which pains were forgotten while drunk.

Then there is a list of reasons why it was not a good idea to drink. The shame that drinking brought, the ways in which drink was an avoidance measure by which pains were not properly faced up to, the dissolution of social contacts that resulted, and the fact that the drink was in control, not you.

I would add cost and the reductionism and lack of creativity of the drinker's lifestyle. Once liberated from drink you can contemplate doing alternate things that might be more healthy, sociable, and rewarding.

The choice is made by the end to be the boss over the drink rather than the other way around. Others have found that total abstention is the only effective remedy to such an addiction.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

There was a variable rhyming structure which I found a little confusing.

The warmth, Burn, and Numbness were great too - remove capitals

In reality it was my only saving grace - In reality, it was my only saving grace

I had to get raid [rid] of you


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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304
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Review of The True Abyss  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, DoXx, The Renegade Monkey . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "The True Abyss"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A man torn apart by troubles aspires to goodness and a return to a lost innocence but wonders if that is just a fantasy.

*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

This poem describes to me a man in pain. He is tempted to describe the possibility of the good as a fantasy because he is wounded by his experiences and cannot look past them. It seems that this pain and suffering is ongoing with fresh wounds inflicted every day. But the poem ends well with the aspiration to recover goodness and innocence in his life.

To me, it describes the problem of a secularised society. Unable to look beyond their own existential experience, having lost any kind of anchorage in the eternal they are unable to rationalize any kind of reasonable hope from their experiences. So all that is noble, pure, good, and true, becomes a fantasy that they no longer have the power to reach for.

Goodness and evil are activities rather than states of being. However, torn or wounded we are we can choose to make the right decision and not allow our pain to dictate our actions. We become the man that our decisions make us.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

This was a free verse with a variable stanza length with no obvious errors given that structure apart from the fairly arbitrary addition of spaces.


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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305
305
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, Blue . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "The War of Three: Book 1(WIP) - Prologue"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Tanya is a warrior who has sworn a vow to protect her people. They gather now as refugees crowding into a massive crawler hoping to make their escape to a safer place. The CUWs are coming and will soon be here. But do they have spaces on the Crawler? Will Tanya find the courage to fight for her people?...


*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

I like the raw idea here of refugees fleeing some approaching menace. I am sure the crisis in Ukraine and indeed in much of Africa and the Middle East provides a lot of useful contemporary examples of such flights. Here you have a Star Wars Crawler and an alien enemy and set this tale somewhere out there in the galaxy and in another time.

I like the way that Tanya wrestles with her fears, but it seems her time to act is running out fast. She seems to use anger to overcome those fears but is still undecided as to whether to fight. Is that her decision if she is only a cadet?

The captain addresses a cadet as Ma'am. That requires more explanation. If Tanya is a princess in a soldier's uniform then that needs to be said.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

You should separate this into paragraphs to make it easier to read. Also, some of the sentences are too long.

whom she sworn to protect - whom she was sworn to protect

As she witnesses this tragic event, he turns back the general. "How long do we have?" she asked. "Only a few minutes with the soldiers we have protecting the entrance." the captain responded.

So a cadet is speaking with a general now? So why does a captain reply?

She couldn't just stand her[here] and do nothing


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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306
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Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, AmyJo- only 2 steps behind - . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Caverns of the Mind"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The mind is a vast cavern that is inaccessible at times and dark. Only with care, kindness, and patience can its secrets be unlocked.

*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

Mental health is a theme of the age and neuroscience is a major focus of the modern scientific agenda. But the brain and its mental landscapes remain mysterious. The link between the hardware and the thought processes inside the human mind is hard to trace. Some conclude that thought is independent of the material world and must be considered in its own right. People like Thomas Nagel conclude that:

materialism cannot provide an adequate explanation of life because it cannot provide an adequate explanation of mind.

Specifically many philosophers focus on the problem of intentionality.

Creationists often cite the developed nature of the human brain relative to other primates as an impossible jump from our supposed common ancestors. It is the material basis of our imaging of God and his attributes, and proof in itself of special creation.

Your poem reminded me of these issues. It seems to refer to an old mind perhaps one closed off by Parkinson's or Dementia. Doctors look for surgical or pharmaceutical remedies too often but mainly these are not that effective. You understand the task in terms of a caregiver kindly and patiently offering support to troubled minds. Holding hands giving hugs and being there for someone lost inside the darkness of their own mind, frightened and confused by the loss of light and clarity there.

This was a helpful poem that reminded me of various old people that used to be in my life.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

Nothing major.


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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307
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Review of Picture This  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello, mike_writes. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Picture This"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Spooky poem about a time when the camera revealed more than the eye could see.


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

I loved the conception of this poem and the storyline grabbed me making me want to read to the end. The idea that the camera could pick up the secret history of a room not accessible to normal vision was a compelling one.

Though I wondered why the ghosts would linger in a moment of pain like that and whether they were truly trapped there or if this was some sort of psychic echo from a moment when space-time was fractured by suffering. It seemed like a big room with at least two separate beds and almost felt more like a hospital than a bedroom.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

You kept a six-line stanza with a regular rhyming pattern very well and your word choices worked for me.


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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308
308
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Rhyssa . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "the rhythm of writing"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The writers experience as they struggle to find the words and rhyme to match the needs of a contest.


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

I found this a hilarious commentary on the experience of writing a poem. the distractions, false starts, and moments of inspiration on a seemingly random schedule.

It was also pretty true to life. I have sat for hours wrestling with deep work problems. Then walked away for a coffee or chat, or slept on it only to find a solution suddenly appear as if by magic at the strangest times. There are moments when everything is bunged up and then then the moments when

the tapping now flows like raindrops on the lane
or the marching of soldiers, or roar of a train,
and the word finally fits, and I see the dawn’s ghost
as I end the last line, save the file, and post.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

You went for the zero punctuation and capitalization approach. But you did use commas within the lines to punctuate the sentences and indicate where the breaks should be. Some of these seemed not to fit.

at first as I tap the sound stutters -
at first, as I tap, the sound stutters

so I rub at my eyes, brush my teeth, go to bed,


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


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309
309
Review of FUTURE  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, Writing Pro. . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "FUTURE"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Where does fear of the future come from? The author suggests that disappointments and hopelessness are roots. In practice and good and bad are always intertwined in our experiences and the worst that could happen is that we will one day die.


*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

Anticipatory fear is apparently the official term for this and it is often related to low acceptance of risk and intolerance of uncertainty, something you did not mention. Past wounds color our responses to the present making us more reluctant to take risks.

You talked about hope as if hopelessness were a condition but really hope rises from the object of our hope. That can be eternal with a focus on God, resurrection, and the whole religious package, or on a more secular level, it might be related to a conviction that somehow things will work out. The secular mindset is ill-equipped for pain and suffering as its estimation of the probability of hope is more rooted in immediate experience rather than faith.

For me, the worst that could happen is not death but rather damnation. Dying is a step on the way to eternal life in my book and body bag counts are not the ultimate problem, therefore.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

This was all a single sentence and could have been broken up to make clearer reading.

Fear of the future is born out of disappointments,
[and] hopelessness, because

the only time in ones life - the only time in one's life


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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Review of " Can't Rush "  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello, Netty . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "" Can't Rush ""  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

We cannot rush God. We should instead thank and praise Him for His grace and mercy. We should ask for patience and seek to obey Him. His hands will sustain us.

*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

I loved the sentiment here but found this to be full of grammatical issues and to be poor theology.

You capitalize in all the wrong places and this has nothing to do with emphasis. For example, Rush and Sea.

Were the fully capitalized words to do with a competition of some sort? If so it might have been helpful to say that at the bottom.

Can't Rush the hand of GOD will we rush GOD THE FATHER or will we be reminded what has been given to us. - TRANSLATION: We cannot rush God because if we do we will be reminded of all the good things he has given us. But how does that make sense? Urgent prayer is determined by the needs we raise to the Father, not by the fact that he has already provided us with so much.


To sustain or our lives and give thanks to him Him and for his His GRACE and MERCY. - You capitalize attributes of God but not the pronoun that refers to Him. Maybe this follows from the previous sentence. We should be grateful that God sustains our lives as we do not deserve that.

He says stand still to obey as he spoke to the waves and winds of the Sea peace be still.

When did Jesus ever say to us to stand still? He commanded the storm to stillness is different. We can be active and exhibit movement in obedience.

We must ask for patience and be still he will calm his HANDS will be upon us to sustain in our problems or any calamities. -
We must ask for patience and be still. He will hold us in his hands and sustain us in peace through problems and calamities.


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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311
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Review of War Zone  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, Ranting Rayvin . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "War Zone"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Our human connections often bring us pain and are not something we can control. We search for souls that complement us, lend balance or completion, or with whom we can just dance. There is uncertainty about these connections to the point that we often feel alone, conflicted, and restless.

*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

I both liked and disliked this poem.

Without knowing who you are talking to this could seem quite abstract. Relationships are personal but there are no names here and there are no recognizable souls. For me the universal, "every human relation" conflicts with the immediate and particular soul-dance between myself and my wife, with the deep and investigative conversations I have with my daughter as she tries to explain the world to herself and to me.

The notion that my connections can be made into a general law of interrelationship seems odd as I have no experience of those billions upon billions of alternative links.

Days of sorrow seem abstract here and contrasts with my pain of not choosing the right words to connect to my son in a conversation two days ago or being unable to say goodbye to my uncle who died recently.

Internal conflicts may be something that we all experience but this poem does not connect to my conflicts or my personal wars. If only it had been a project of self-expression I think it would have provoked a more gracious response.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

But connection be is always the goal.

With it no feeling can compete. - With it, no feeling can compete.


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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312
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Review of carnival swings  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, Rhyssa . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "carnival swings"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The experience of riding a carnival swing and having fun. The tastes and smells of cakes and popcorn surround and she closes her eyes.


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

This reminds me of a Carnival I used to regularly attend every year with my wife in her hometown. It reminds me of two different attractions one that swung violently up and down and another that spun me around and around very fast.

You express a half-hearted desire for conversation but the real fun for which you will queue is in the swing.

I liked this, it expressed the feeling of the ride very well and as I said triggered some pleasant memories- thanks.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

I wonder why you bothered with full stops and occasional commas when you did not capitalize the sentences. The line breaks seemed a little arbitrary.


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


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Review of Looper Again  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Megalodon . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Looper Again"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The same old song rewinds in a person's head. He might be talking about an actual song or a pattern of behavior that continually and toxically repeats itself.

*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

A song that resonates with a person, maybe because of a painful tragedy they have experienced. Do they have a choice to listen to it or are they compelled to listen to it? Is this a freewill versus determinism discussion? Is this an earworm that continually repeats itself expanding into our consciousness like an unwanted daydream that paralyzes us in daylight? Or is a Groundhog Day experience of reality as if the same day is relived again and again without hope of reprieve or of a different future?

Why do some songs get under our skin and have us singing along and others can be easily ignored? It seems the poet has no answers just an awareness of the problem. It is eroding his faith in his capacity to make real decisions, it is disturbing and unsettling his peace of mind. How can he stop listening to the same old song?

I guess this poem raises issues for me about the relationship between consciousness and subconsciousness and about the issue of compulsive behaviors. The relationship between pain, habit, and choice is also raised.

But you could always just switch off the radio and go for a hike in an unexplored wilderness. See if the song follows you there also?


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Listening to the same old song
and before [too] long,


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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Review of Starlit Sky  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Sum1 . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Starlit Sky"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The journey of lovers from childhood, married as adults, now separated for a short time by death.


*Quill*Commentary

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

Great poem with the story of a lifetime contained within it. I loved the simplicity of the childhood lovers who always knew they were to be together and who made that come true. The lover was by the ocean when he promised himself to her and by the ocean while he waited to be reunited to her.

A simple and powerful kaleidoscope of images and feelings from the perspective of the whole love story, but with an emphasis on its beginnings and only one verse given to the possibility of its future. This is the poem of an old widower looking back.

This line did not rhyme as with the rest of the poem and the notion of time having an ending seemed to clash with the hope of being reunited forever.

I await my time when I can join you again,
And we'll be together, til time ends.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

You kept a rhyming scheme for all the verses except verse 2 and the last one.

startlit - starlit. Same mistake occurs x 2 in the poem

in to - into

til time ends. - 'til time ends.


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


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315
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Review of Meaning  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, 🌕 HuntersMoon . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Meaning"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Join the Space Marines, meet interesting aliens, and kill them on worlds impossibly far away. This cliffhanger entry for a now-defunct competition makes sense of the motto tattooed on the Seargent's arm: "Don't get carried away."

*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

Great short story, though you started by referring to Andromeda as a system. It is actually the nearest galaxy to our own.

For such a short story you did well introducing new slang like Squints for example while using standard military slang like SNAFU to build the context. I am guessing the bolded words are the ones you had to use for the competition.

Pandora was a clever name for a planet that clearly had more terrors than hope but because you left it open how this would turn out we do not know which will triumph.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

A empathetic nature-based society - An empathetic nature-based society


Thanks for sharing.

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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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316
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Review of Power  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello, Ajani Mgo I found "Power"  when searching for articles on Monarchy. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The author discusses the historical development of power and how it has manifested. He asserts that there has been a decline in theological understandings of the roots of power and a rise in more secular and materialistic understandings based on human freedom. In recent years Mammon has risen to increasingly enslave humanity under its yoke.

*Quill*Commentary

It was great you attempted such an ambitious undertaking as a history of power. But you made a great many untested claims which are demonstrably false e.g. about the inevitable demise of the religious mindset at a time when it is growing more prevalent globally.

The death of God has been widely reported time and again throughout history and every time refuted. People are in fact now more religious than they have ever been on a global scale and it is becoming easier to ignore the significance of various secular bubbles. Even in the supposedly secular West a majority identify as religious. The recent death of Queen Elizabeth II has unleashed a tsunami of love around the world in response to her Christian witness and life. So the theological roots of power remain intact even if pagan mythologies, atheist worldviews, and false religions litter the landscape like ruins after the apocalypse.

Despite atheism being a minority concern on a global scale and having failed miserably in its various more violent manifestations e.g. communism, and Nietzscheanism, there are some who still cling to this reductionist and hopeless worldview. Its latest manifestations include forms that elevate liberal free choices and science or individualistic imagination as positive values. In practice, most godless societies tend towards materialism, and Mammon worship and are unenlightened by higher forms of humanity in which love, compassion, nobility, honesty, and rationality are shaped by a broader world view including the religious. The ex-Communist societies are a perfect example and are still deeply wounded by the experience of the evil empire that atheists spawned. Selfish individualism rather than true freedom is the most likely consequence of atheist ideologies in the current West. In Communist China more oppressive communal forms of atheism hold sway.

I felt this article was rather dismissive of the Judaeo-Christian God and did not really explain its rejection fully. Given the continued growth and success of Abrahamic religions, this was essential to give this article any global historical credibility. Rather it reads like one of those distorted accounts that Western academia occasionally generates from their bubbles of foolishness and is completely disconnected from the real world.

Some of the most advanced and technologically innovative societies in the world today have a great many Christians in them not least Britain which has perhaps surprised the secular world with its outpouring of religious fervor as it remembers Queen Elizabeth these past few days.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

A good grammar checker would help reveal a great many missing commas and issues with this text. Try Grammarly for example. Below are just some examples of the errors I found as there were too many to list all of them. This is where you lost most of your stars for this article.

does one entity ever stay immortalized in the eyes of mortal man. - does one entity ever stay immortalized in the eyes of mortal man?

Yet despite of the many forms and guises this mystical fascination may take, few actually can understand its true nature, which, fortunately, or unfortunately, has led to this entity - Power to have slipped away from the hands of those who would have held it once, to those who would dare not dream of having it before it finally came down to them. - sentence is too long and has errors highlighted, also missing commas.

to reflect on where they had came from - to reflect on where they had come from

Chinese emperors in their golden throne as they look upon their subjects bowed down before them - Chinese emperors on their golden thrones looking down upon their subjects bowed before them

They were the ones who had been at the forefront, against all odds physical, mental or psychological, bringing their people from a backward existence to become a strong nation among Man, surpassing all others of their time in all areas of civilization. - Again too long and missing commas

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Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, rabbit I found " Monarchy and democracy"  when searching for articles on Monarchy. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The author discusses the value of monarchy and democracy in the context of Taiwan. He can see that both can be abused with democracies favoring minorities or monarchies degenerating into tyrannies. A monarch can potentially focus the resources of the nation on its priorities but democracies are better guarantors of the people's involvement in the political process. There is no perfect form of government but can we find a balance between these various forms that eliminate the scandals and perverse forms of either?

*Quill*Commentary

This is quite topical right now as we consider the challenge of totalitarian regimes like Russia or China to the model of Western democracy that has dominated the world order for most of the last 77 years. The death of Queen Elizabeth and the tsunami of grief and love that are encircling the globe in response to this event also illustrate the enduring power of monarchy throughout the world.

In Taiwan, the prospect of invasion by China and absorption back into it looms. This might well end the brief experience of freedom that its inhabitants have enjoyed. In response to that threat, the temptations of autocracy as a more efficient way to coordinate the security concerns of the nation are also real.

Looking around the world we can see how democracies can conceal all sorts of corruption and the increasing consolidation of power in Russia, India, and China does not bode well for its future. North America and Europe remain strongholds of democracy but in some ways, the processes do favor certain minorities over the broad mass of the people in these places and there are a great many scandals also. Lobby groups paralyze American politics for example which is increasingly unable to fix deep-seated issues such as affordable healthcare.

Democracy in the UK is strong enough to embrace the color, majesty, and unity that monarchy adds to its culture without worrying about a return to tyranny. The democratic and non-democratic institutions of the country function cooperatively to produce a functioning result.

I found this an interesting discussion that raised a lot of important questions while being very careful not to offend Chinese sensibilities over your country. You could have grounded it in more concrete examples to add some clarity on your points however and there were a lot of mechanical errors of which the below are just examples.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

I would recommend the use of a grammar tool as this text is full of mistakes. Grammarly is quite good for example. Just to illustrate:

According to the Wikipedia

the right of decision making belongs to all people rather than [a] single one person.

adherants - adherents

But Taiwan only allows legislative decisions just the same as other democratic countries.

Also states by Wikipedia - Wikipedia also states

In [a] republic

In republic, the head of state is normally elected for a certain amount of time. Or, the head of state wouldn’t stay on the position for life.

In a republic, the head of state is normally elected for a period of time. They do not stay in the position for life.

Most of the monarches serve as a symbal of continuity and statehood. - Most of the monarchies serve as a symbol of continuity and statehood.

machinism - mechanism


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Review of The Monarchy  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, Heleny I found "The Monarchy"  when searching for articles on Monarchy. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Monarchs on horseback can appear very tall and imposing to children looking up. But if you climb the tree high enough even they can look quite small from the heights.

*Quill*Commentary

From the heights that God stares let alone a child, there is no difference between an Archangel and a grasshopper. Our democracies thrive on the assumption of equality of dignity and status and yet there are still hierarchies. We can reduce everybody to the same level in some kind of socialist utopia or we can ask how hierarchies can add value. Maybe some monarchies add a sense of majesty, color, and indeed unity in grief or joy that is valuable to everybody and not just to themselves. It definitely seems that way in Britain right now as a nation and indeed a world comes together in challenging times to mourn the death of a beloved Queen.

There is of course the potential for nobility in every soul. Not all kings or queens embody it but the British monarchy has been quite successful in this respect. They model the king or queen in every person and allow us to put flesh on dreams of royalty and nobility.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Nothing major.


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Review of The Royal Wave  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello, Christopher Roy Denton I found "The Royal Wave"  when searching for articles on monarchy. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The poet describes the distance between the monarch and the poor rabble. She waves from behind bulletproof glass in a carriage or a car. The people are not far away but she is protected from them. The vehicle transports her like a prisoner from one jail cell to the next.

*Quill*Commentary

You have a British flag on your icon which surprised me. Your description of the British monarch seemed so far removed from reality. Just yesterday I was watching Charles III our new king shaking hands with well-wishers and even kissing one, though from the interview afterward, she was not even British.

The Queen was intimately involved in so many charities and community projects and so deeply connected to the people that ran them that I wondered if you were talking about the same person.

Of course, there are times when security concerns require bulletproof glass but the intimate connection between monarch and people forgives such occasions. These days in fact I wonder if we should grant them more distance, their lives so continually on display and at the mercy of the critics.

They are human but we are hardly poverty-stricken unwashed masses today. We are rich and we can afford the majesty, color, and unity that the monarchy brings to the UK, the Realms, and Commonwealth.

The death of QE2 brings together an ensemble of world leaders for the funeral which would be impossible to match for any other world leader. Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II probably met more world leaders and normal people, from more lands than any other person who has ever lived. Literally, millions of people can speak of transformative encounters with her that they cherish long after.

May the Queen rest in peace, God save King Charles III

*Quill*Mechanical issues

Nothing major.


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Review of 911 2001  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, QuillMistress I found "911 2001"  when searching for articles on 9/11. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Sherri Laurier captures the feelings of grief and devastation at the events of 9/11. She wrestles with how people celebrated this event in Pakistan and the inhumanity of the killers. Kill is a four letter word but so also is love...

*Quill*Commentary

The emotions here, when you wrote this in 2003, are still raw even at a distance of two years from the event. The sadness, shock, and devastation are all too clear. Maybe assumptions about just how much Americans were liked around the world and especially in the Muslim world were also blown away by the event. Assumptions that America was a safe haven rather than itself responsible for atrocities elsewhere were unexamined here. Americans watched live footage of this Pearl harbor Mk2 in their living rooms. This was before Facebook and Twitter and so people were just glued to their TVs.

Five acts of terror are described here. Four crashed aircraft in New York, the Pentagon, and Pennsylvania, and then finally the reaction in the Muslim world.

There were people dancing on the street throughout the Middle East and not just in Pakistan. If Facebook and Twitter had existed then I would bet they would have been alive with affirmations of the event from these people. The author finds these people incomprehensible, and blasphemous in their declaration that they do God's will.

The idea that God does not hurt us or judge us however has no foundation beyond wishful thinking. It is similar to the rapture doctrine held to by many conservative Evangelicals and the idealistic notions of Disney land liberals. The biblical- historical experience of the global church has always been to go through suffering rather than bypass it. God has directed Holy Wars such as the subjugation of Canaan. He sent angels to wipe out the unbelievers and he wiped out the entire world in the flood. That there were Muslims in the building is a piece of evidence that even by the criteria of their own faith the terrorists made a horrendous mistake at 9/11, one that in all probability sent them straight to hell.

In hindsight 9/11 seems more like a wake up call for the USA that splendid isolation was no longer possible. That evil like good has gone global and we are all vulnerable wherever we live. America's reaction was to remove the regimes that supported this action and hunt down and kill the leader of Al Quaeda. Justice done, they came home twenty years later sick with their engagement with the dysfunctional cultures of Iraq and Afghanistan. It would be nice to think that America is a fortress that can never be attacked again but things like Pearl Harbor and 9/11 make it clear that is naive. America's safety now lies in engagement with the world rather than retreating from it. It has a great many allies and friends to help it in that task. What the USA is doing in Ukraine is an example of America at its best defending the freedoms of others as well as itself.

You were clearly in a lot of pain when you wrote this. Now twenty years later I wonder how you would revisit these emotions and what differences you would find with the person who wrote this so long ago now?


*Quill*Mechanical issues

is silented with disbelief - word silented does exist: adjective used to describe the complete absence of any form of suffering or anxieties induced by real-life living in oneself or others, but does not fit here. Think you meant silenced.

There wasn’t any of knowing more tragedy was still to come… - There wasn’t any way of knowing more tragedy was still to come…

You capitalized all sorts of things, maybe for emphasis that technically should not have been capitalized:

A Demonstration Of Dire Devastation

in the Great United States, Human Beings are born with freedom of religion.

I Pledge Allegiance To Our Flag


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Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello, RatDog I found "The World Trade Center Tragedy"  when searching for articles on 9/11. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The author writes on the day of the attack on the World Trade Center with some follow-up comments from the day that followed.


*Quill*Commentary

9/11 was a live media event with hundreds of millions tuning in to watch the unfolding drama. On the day you seemed sad but the following day you sounded mad (as in angry). Maybe in the commentary you received after writing the first part, there was a call to action and indeed even revenge. This seems to be the direction of the second part.

America did retaliate as you called for it to do. Many footsoldiers of the enemy flocked to the conflicts that followed to be slaughtered in their hundreds of thousands like flies running into the flame. They even got Bin Laden in the end. Then twenty years later America came home.

You speak of this media event in the same way as one might regard a fascination with gladiatorial combat in the Roman era. Many people knew this these contests and their conception were deeply immoral but were fascinated by the blood and gore of the games. Watching war on TV is a spectator sport of a similar genre and continues into the Ukrainian war.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Bin Laden not Ben Laden
terorist - terrorist
retalliate - retaliate

newscasters will continue to talk about a major event like this long after there is anything [nothing] new to say.


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Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Bikerider . This is a Raid Review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* "Caught in the Rain"  was selected from the list for this time around. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The day seemed dismal at its start with low grey clouds that made him feel weary. He was going to fish and he did not want the rain that came. The sun darted in and out but then the fisherman got wet fishing and then soaked as the rain returned. He was full of joy when the day ended and laughing out loud.


*Quill*Commentary

I loved this poem which described a sort of liberation from world-weariness and depressing thoughts to me. It was not a liberation brought about by perfect circumstances but rather it was more spiritual and came despite those circumstances. The man got wet fishing, got soaked by the rain, and yet by the end he is full of life and joy and this is overflowing from him.

It is the sort of feeling I get going for a run in a blizzard through 18km of snow or the same distance up and down mountains at 35C on a hot Summer's day. It is the feeling of sailing a boat in a force 6 past rocky cliffs, cutting hard into the wind and the giant waves, and then turning to run to a sandy beach. It is walking into a mosque a little nervous but then sharing the gospel with 30 Muslims and then leaving exhilarated and full of life, happy to still be alive.

Well maybe it is not the same but it felt the same to me. Thank you for your poem.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Nothing worth mentioning.


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Review of Stuck  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, fyn . This is a Raid Review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* "Stuck"  was selected by the random read & review button for this time around. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

We are stuck like a host of things that are really hard to unstick. Things like three-day-old yolks on the flat of the dish or super glue. We are stuck but maybe there is something romantic and lasting about that...

*Quill*Commentary

You started with all sorts of familiar things which I have battled hard to unstick on multiple occasions. So I thought this poem was going to have a negative direction. I grew frustrated with the thoughts you summoned of all these impossible sticky situations. But then the poem started to move towards romance and I realized what it was really about and by the last first I was all awwww sweet and mushy inside.

In an age where so many marriages flounder, and indeed where so many are now terrified to take the plunge at all, your poem was a timely reminder of more lasting love. People who keep their promises, people who have made the hard choices many times, and who remain exactly where they always intended to be.

There is no need for historical revisionism and endless new starts when:

The stickiness that holds us fast
cements our now,
cements our past.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Nothing worth mentioning.


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Review of Goodbye Yesterday  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Beholden . This is a Raid Review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* "Goodbye Yesterday"  was selected from the list for this time around. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Does time move in a straight line from yesterday, through today, and on towards tomorrow? Or does it bend in another direction?

*Quill*Commentary

There is something strange going on in the highest echelons of the mathematical/scientific world. They have moved so far beyond what can be empirically tested by the scientific method that maybe what they do is no longer scientific at all in fact. One wonders at the practical usages of their discoveries as their thoughts now probe the edge of time and space. They speak of times and places they can never reach, and dissolve all reference points to our sanity in the process.

Each of these learned people ages as do we, moving in a straight line from cradle to grave, and yet they insist that time itself is more mutable, depending on how fast you go relative to the speed of light, or was it a moving train, sometimes it gets confusing.

Your poem was great drawing out their smug certainty about untestable probabilities.

The last line was wise but lacked a little faith I thought. Yes, we cannot draw a map of tomorrow with the arrogance of some pretentious fool who proclaims he knows better than the mind of God. But there are still religious grounds for hope and a sense of accountability at the end of all things when maths professors find their greatest works get F grades while illiterate peasants who spoke only of their faith receive the highest marks.

This was my favorite part, a condensation of the wisdom of the world from the perspective of the Joker:

amid little Einsteins, so sure
of a bending universe
riddled with holes
both black and wormy,
neither relatively this
nor that in quantum terms


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Nothing major.


Thanks for sharing.

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Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, Beth Barnett I found "New York City Calling"  when searching for articles on 911. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

An autistic girl goes out into a lightning storm, a powerline shocks her into a comma for six months and she wakes up a different person, healed now and with gifts of mind reading empathy and telekinetics. She goes on to be a star but more fundamentally a prophet of things to come. Even though she warned people of what would happen on 911 they did not listen...

*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

I love spiritual stories with a Christlike focus. Here you have the emergence of a Christian superhero Robyn Angel from a lightning storm that also gave her a rich experience of the real Jesus. Now she sees people's stories and anticipates their future and all their masks are broken. This can be deeply disturbing as the negativity that dominates too many souls is seen all too clearly by her. She knew 911 would happen, she even told a man to ensure his daughter would not be there, but no one listened to her.

The reasons for her gifting are not well explained here nor is the fruit of her ministry clearly God-glorifying. Though the interview on French TV seemed like a witness, this had nothing to do with her supernatural gifts. There is a reference to her using her gifts to defend the USA and maybe other nations also, but from what and how? She held this vision of 911 for more than ten years and told others about it also but nothing changed and it happened anyway.

I find myself thinking of a very beautiful woman with blonde hair and blue eyes and the figure of a model or potential centerfold but the soul of a saint. She is the focus of the world's attention with gifting from God that has not clearly benefitted anyone but herself thus far and which she has mainly concealed or used to break the cameras of paparazzi. The story makes me fall in love with her, not God.

Though that said in her conversation with the priest she does really address my concerns:

I will not claim that I am great, but that the power within me is great.”

I guess the purest vision of God that she finds in people is the one that she herself experienced yet despite her gifts she has not found a way to communicate the love and hope and faith she has entered into except in the way that everybody else does already without these gifts.

There is massive potential here for a really great Christian superhero story though.

You called your priest Gottlieb which means God's love and seemed a little obviously contrived in context.

This statement was theologically dubious since God sent his own Son to suffer and then die for us and eleven of his apostles also died in painful circumstances. It is the experience of the global historical church to suffer for their faith.

I believe that God heals and doesn’t want to see anyone of us hurting. He doesn’t want us to die.

The USA is not the only nation to be founded in the name of God: Israel, Armenia, Byzantine Empire, Ethiopia, and a great many states today identify with God.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

their feelings of righteousness in the name of their god as they painstakingly rushed to their very deaths was as [if] a knife stabbed into my heart.


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