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1,259 Public Reviews Given
1,301 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Conversational - I don't have a formal template. Comment to my perception of the work, both substance and technique; highlights & misses. My reviews are public by default, but I will gladly make private upon request.
I'm good at...
Poetry - I read aloud; respond to both art and craft; Short Story - I listen for the voice(s) and respond with how I perceive both the creative voice and technique; and effective use of writer's tools; Articles/Essays - I'll let you know how you keep it real and hold my interest. Comment to substance & technique, fact-checking, depth of research, logical flow.
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I love to read ^_^
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Short Stories, Articles / Essays
Public Reviews
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Review of Another World  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


I enjoyed this taking this enlightening journey into a time passed with you.*Smile* You provide vivid descriptions of Edna's surroundings and how they seem to fit her as she calmly and matter-of-factly regales with stories of time passed. Meeting the aunts turns into a revelation of another world, an you portray that well.

I note but a little telling in place of showing and some disunity in usage, i.e., "The sisters shared with me..." then the next paragraph again starts with "The sister's..." (the apostrophe should be after the 's' ~~ but I'd suggest not starting two consecutive paragraphs with the same words??? Some 'cliche' i.e., "While we shared and laughed..." specify what was shared to provide detail, or "while we talked and laughed..." ???

I am left to feel heartened by the conclusion and agree that these are treasures of family and continuity of the thread of life.

Thank you for offering this enjoyable an enightening journey, and I would enjoy reading more about the aunts and their lives!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


I enjoyed reading your poem and found myself sympathetic with Viranda, and sad to see her demise. You draw some very vivid images that engage all my senses of first her waking and then showing me how she is different by introducing her 'all seeing eyes' and her knowledge of the hunt.

The rhythm is fairly even throughout the poem, although some repetition might be reworded, i.e., "...she feels invisible..."Feeling the heat..." suggest changing one of the 'feel's to avoid the same word; it's also a telling word, suggest more active here to show me how it is she feels this???

The hunt concludes with vivid imagery again, and I can see from your words the "...ash of centuries..."*Star*

Thank you for offering this really imaginative work!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


This is a beautiful, uplifting message, a treatise to the joy of finding freedom. The rhyming is nearly song-like, has a beat to it that's rhythmic and flowing, puts me in mind of singing for joy*Smile*

I note a bit of forcing to fit the rhyme scheme and a few techie nits of mine, i.e, using "hope" and "hopeful" in the same line (3rd line 1st stanza); a couple of dropped apostrophes in the download.

Some great messages are stated, i.e., "I am the soul, and spirit too, of life's great question..."*Star*

Thank you for offering this uplifting and beautiful image!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Review of Bhadraksh  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


This is a beautifully written story, with a good message told in a deceptively simple yet elegant manner. Bhadraksh museing on the strength of his feet, yet why he was still there, in the harmony of the landscape when his soul was in disharmony. The revelation from observing how life flows with symmetry leading him to an understanding of his purpose very well depicted. I am left feeling calm and not sad as I finish this part of his tale.

Some good action to separate the descriptve scenes*Smile* and very little telling in place of showing.

One note is jarring at the end, jumping months ahead in that manner is a bit telling, and makes it appear that he waited several months at the same place in th same condition. I would recommend rewording the stat of the opeing paragraph for a bit more clarity as is evident in the rest of the story*Heart*

Thank you for offering this revealing and well written story.!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


Thank you for offering this great piece writtn with irony and great dry wit*Thumbsup* Would that some of the kids whose belly rolls hang out would read it; we might start to see 'normal' jeans once again.

Technically, the opening catches my ear, and the description of 'mom jeans' s so vivid, i can see them as I prepare to try them on*Smile* Your piece progresses well through the quest for a pair of jeans, and I again like the ending, the cycle to repeat again, or just jump on line.

Technically, I notice only a bit of telling in place of showing, as you put me in the story next to the shopper ad kept me there throughout.

Thank you for offering this realistic yet deliciously fun work!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


This piece is replete with imagery both gentle and joyous. Daydreaming leads to prancing prissy ~ there's a sense of fun as well as reflective joy in the daydreaming and looking at clouds. I can easily see your words raising the spirit of one who is suffering.

Thank you for offering this beautiful and uplifting work!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Review of Trees in Summer  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


I really enjoyed this vivid journey into summer. Personifying nature (the wind) gave the trees a distinct personality, as if actively protecting the chicks.*Smile*

Technically, the images are natural and picturesque, hold the vision for a moment, before releasing to the net image. Well conveyed.


Thank you for offering this beautiful, reflective work!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


The opening line prepares me well for the informative and vivid portrayal to follow*Thumbsup*

The insights and scenarios flow logically and in ever more depth, to the beautifully worded conclusion, thought provoking and reflective, that final image remains with me after I have finished reading.

Technically, I note a few places where I was slowed a bit in reading ~ "prejudiced against by" the way prejudiced is used in the phrase, also use of passive voice there while the remainder of the phrase is active.

"shrewd in mist" I am unclear as to the intent or meaning; if it's a colloquialism, it's one not commonly used here?

also, you use factual statements in most of the images, but "can only resemble..." becomes omniscient, suggest keeping factual "...a highjacked min resembles being t war..." ???

Again, a wonderfully vivid ending, with the two contrasted visions*Thumbsup*
Thank you for offering this informative and insightful work!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Review of Wounded  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I was really moved by your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


Such powerfully written and vivid images conveyed by your words maintain a deep intensity of feeling throughout your poem.

Technically, each stanza follows the previous one logically, and the rhythm is fairly even throughout, compelling me forward. I note one suggestion for consistency, where you are speaking in the present, but for the fourth stanza first line, where you say "fell" ~ suggest you consider "fall" to keep the consistency.

Thank you for your courageous effort, which resulted in this powerfully written work.

Keep Writing!
Kate
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Review of Time  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


Thank you for sharing this reflection on the passage of time, how swiftly the moments become months, then years, and we can't go back and recapture what we've missed. We don't appreciate what we have, I agree...

Your words are conveyed in a conversational style that's easy to read, a good story-teller*Smile* I find very little telling, with vivid descriptions, and your conclusion sums up the piece very well.

Thank you for offering this thoughtful reflection on life!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


Thank you for this delightful diatribe. The examples are imaginative and vividly portrayed, I can imagine feeling something slither across my leg, and I laughed at the snake-sighting in the pool image. Your concluding paragraph about the remote control definitely reaffirms the theme - vacation is for true leisure.*Smile*

The pacing of the story/essay is even, and each example clear and vividly portrayed in an enjoyable way. I found myself looking forward to the next paragraph and example.*Thumbsup*

The voice is fairly even. One small note, in the opening, a shift in tense "my husband will inevitably ask" and you answer "is the same" consider for consistency, perhaps "my hustand inevitably asks" ??

Thank you for offering this delightful read, and I hope this summer's vacation is in a place luxurious!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


You write with such vivid description, I can see a musician marching in a parade perhaps with his high school band; somehow prevented from doing so. The message of support for the group adds a poignant note at the end.

Reading aloud, the rhythm is fairly even, with stress mainly falling on key words. Consider a bit more showing in place of telling, to put me in the moment, i.e., eliminating "And" and "the" in the fourth line first stanza, and start with "Wearing clean white gloves." a bit more vivid showing.

Thank you for offering this reflective work and hope to see one where he is back with the band!
Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


Thank you for this delightful poem ~ if trees cared to speak what they had seen and heard over time ~ reflective and beautifully written with some great conclusions ~ i am left with some great images after having finished reading*Heart* Even without the explanation, it's easy to follow the vivid imagery.

Reaing aloud, the flow of the story is natural, and the beat of the stanzas fairly even.

Thank you for offering this really beautiful work!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Review of THE ONE I MISS  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


Thank you for offering this beautiful love story. A tribute to a great friend. I should have caught on with the amber eyes, but didn't until the end. Well done*Thumbsup*

Some beautiful imagery opens the piece, and I can see the "whitecaps playing chase with the early morning sun's reflection..." (intense*Heart*)

Note just a bit of telling in place of showing, i.e., more active, something like, "He looked a bit scruffy, but had a certain charm, which attracted me immediately."

Thank you again for offering this poignant and beautiful love story!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: E | (3.5)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


I have never been to an actual re-enactment, and your story has kindled my interest in seeing one! As well as the interesting historical tibits relating ot same! Well done.

I note a bit of redundancy with superlatives an some telling in the piece. For example "I waited for that day in anticipation." in anticipation of what? we know by reading the rest of the piece, but suggest something like "...scheduled for June 4, 2005, and my anticipation grew exponentially as the day neared."

also, next paragraph, "after we left and we arrived" suggest simply "when we arrived at the Reunion,"

The paragraph describing the women's rights, prohibition and treatment of wounds and illness. "how it tore families apart" I presume refers to alcohol and suggest forming the paragraph around that item. Good ending re use of whiskey for anesthesia, but "it's amazing" again asks what is amazing i.e., tht anyone survived, that the prohibition activists rallied against whiskey?"

also a couple of spell nits i.e., mannequin (in place of manikin), and I'm not certain, but believe it's a "re-enactment" of a past battle, in place of "enactment" ??

I like this piece and can see it inviting me to enjoy a good time while learning new and intersting little known historical facts, presented in an enjoyable manner.
Thank you for offering this inviting work!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


First, I must tell you that after reading this thought provoking lament of a flower, I walked about and checked on all my indoor plants, and some did need tlc. Your images really got into the thought stream of what a neglected flower or plant could be going through. I'm glad this one was saved^_^

Reading aloud, the meter and flow are fairly even and each stanza works well to portray an image and move me to the next.


Thank you for offering this little call to action from the plant's point of view!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Wonderful satire! Deliciously politically incorrect as well^_^ The imagery vivid and clear; each paragraph details items that are recycled (stockpiled*Rolleyes*. The conclusion/summation is actually thought-provoking and would lead to some lively discussion*Smile*

one item is a bit slowing, your use of the word "cause" in the conclusion. If you are thinking to shorted "because," then an apostrophe before the word i.e., 'cause or just say "because" and perhaps other words with like meaning instead of repeating in several consecutive sentences?

I really enjoyed reading this and did a bit of outright laughing at some of the images*Thumbsup* while the conclusion actually was well played with wit as food for thought*Thumbsup*

Good Luck in the Contest ^_^

Keep Writing!
Kate

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*Smile*Thank you chucksmith for my Signature Muse*Heart*

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manga_kate
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Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi, what a delightful way to describe an awful process (no, not getting older, but having to take all those pills); visually very descriptive (i.e., that my lips help to leave on my hips) ~ I an relate.

I see free verse or a story poem here, the pictures descriptive and imaginative, easy to relate*Thumbsup*

I note a few places I was slowed, i.e., "keep my brain alert, but also quite" (do you wish to say quiet or did a word go missing quite _____ ??

"so it all" and "any at all" = using the same word to end the line??

and a bit of mixing of tenses, i.e., "there's the ones I take to cool me down..."

I'm glad I saw your post in the Noticing Newbies Newsletter and look forward to reading more of your work. You have a droll, wry humor that I personally enjoy.

Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


This is truly a beautiful work of art. The images rendered with loving tenderness. Each reading elicits a tear. A love story in poetic form.

I can find no error in pacing or flow in this tribute.


Thank you for offering this beautiful description of true pure love!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


From the opening paragraph, I too knew they would not be having pizza. Very well portrayed, disturbing and realistic story. I was immediately drawn into the moment and each image as Suze remembered the other instances pulled me further into their story. The realization at the end that though both were damaged, at least Suze realized it and by so doing, was stronger than her mother.*Thumbsup*

The plotting is excellent, and I note very little telling, with very natural and realistic conversation to move the story along. All believable.


Thank you for offering this moving and heartrending story!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: E | (4.0)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


I really enjoyed the vivid imagery; engaged all my senses, vision taste touch; very descriptive, taking me into the moment.

Reading aloud, I note the rhythm is fairly even and carries the image forward, one line and picture to the next. Right near the end, a couple of the adjectives slow the pace a bit, i.e., consider something like "It will shine on slow moving rivers." (I eliminated "For") and "I love the warmth and beauty it delivers." (again see how it sounds to you, how it flows, with "and" removed)

Thank you for offering this beautiful poem!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Review of Horror Story  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


I like the premise of your story, the innocent shower and the twist at the end. Great flash fiction, with all the elements of a story well met, plot conflict, kept in the theme. I did not suspect the perpetrator at all, so you kept his identity well hidden

I do note some telling rather than showing, i.e., where she thinks then reaches for the phone to call Ted, a bit more immediate would be something like "Karmen's first thought was to call Ted, her boyfriend. The sound of glass breaking in the kitchen, however, told her she had to act now." I also note a few download errors of spelling, i.e., scolding in place of scalding, shreeked in place of shrieked.

Karmen also didn't know he was unconscious, but presumed it.

I like this story, and believe it has much potential as a mystery with a good twist.


Thank you for offering this delightful thriller!
Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
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Strive to live the ordinary life in a nonordinary way.
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Review of The Lure  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like the use of personification, and each stanza can stand on its own as well as be part of the whole poem. They are somewhat like invocations, something to go back to when the muse is hiding *Smile*

Reading aloud, the words flow rather smoothly, the beat fairly even.

Thank you for offering this thought enjoyable poem!
Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
~~Image #4000 Sharing Restricted~~
Strive to live the ordinary life in a nonordinary way.
Book of Runes
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Special Thanks to kelly1202 for my Adorable Sig*Heart*

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Review of Jealousy  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
 Weekly NEWBIE Challenge  (E)
LEARN - Bitem Format, Emoticons, etc., and receive Reviews
#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


Intense images in each stanza; the use of rhyme and beginning the first and third lines of the first and second stanzas with the same pronoun add impact to the visual imagery. Then comparing his feelings with hers right at the end adds extra poignancy*Thumbsup*

Reading aloud, the first line appears just a bit off balance by trying to conform to the pronoun usage, in place of 'gazes' consider a one syllable word perhaps 'peers' or something like that, see how you think the rhythm then feels. Also the last stanza, switching to plural an then back to immediate singular is a bit jarring, consider perhaps "affection ... is" for balance???

Thank you for offering this poignant, heartrending work!
Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
~~Image #4000 Sharing Restricted~~
Strive to live the ordinary life in a nonordinary way.
Book of Runes
** Image ID #1085994 Unavailable **

Special Thanks to kelly1202 for my Adorable Sig*Heart*

** Image ID #1067047 Unavailable **

{image:976770]

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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
 Weekly NEWBIE Challenge  (E)
LEARN - Bitem Format, Emoticons, etc., and receive Reviews
#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


Such an entertaining yet reflective piece on (gulp) middle age - as easy to relate to for someone in their mid to late 30s as well as mid to late 50s (in other words, any time after we are no longer carded for liquor at the supermarket). Good opening, and pleasing conversational story telling style. The examples are well posed, and the conclusion arrived at in logical progression. Switching tenses is mainly smooth as well.

Thank you for offering this enjoyable story!
Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
~~Image #4000 Sharing Restricted~~
Strive to live the ordinary life in a nonordinary way.
Book of Runes
** Image ID #1085994 Unavailable **

Special Thanks to kelly1202 for my Adorable Sig*Heart*

** Image ID #1067047 Unavailable **

{image:976770]

{image:748948}
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