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1,259 Public Reviews Given
1,301 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Conversational - I don't have a formal template. Comment to my perception of the work, both substance and technique; highlights & misses. My reviews are public by default, but I will gladly make private upon request.
I'm good at...
Poetry - I read aloud; respond to both art and craft; Short Story - I listen for the voice(s) and respond with how I perceive both the creative voice and technique; and effective use of writer's tools; Articles/Essays - I'll let you know how you keep it real and hold my interest. Comment to substance & technique, fact-checking, depth of research, logical flow.
Favorite Genres
I love to read ^_^
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Short Stories, Articles / Essays
Public Reviews
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Review of Untitled  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


Beautiful imagery, reminiscent of a senryu, the moon's light personified.

Reading aloud, I can picture the light as strands and dreams both.

I note a bit of conflict for me in "soft light" and "starlight" and "their vast sea." would it be more accurate an image with "its vast sea" ???


Thank you for offering this !
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: E | (4.0)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


I enjoyed this story ~ creative idea of a challenge, as well as a great idea for family time outside the perennial box*Star*

The story itself is well plotted, and flows rather smoothly into the challenge. and there are some vivid images "muttering mutinously" conveys such a realistic image of a teen not getting her way. Satisfactory ending, as well, with the winning 'appliance.'

There is a bit of telling in place of showing, i.e., first line of third paragraph; consider reversing the two images for more immediate visual impact?

Thank you for offering this delightul story!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


Writing as if this were occurring in the present is very visual, immediate. Interspersed with visions of the future, "butterflies will start..." and, of course, the final ingredient, remembrance.

Reading aloud, rhyming pulled the images together, although the rhythm of the stanzas seemed a bit uneven at times.

Thank you for offering this powerful, thought provoking 'recipe' for remembrance!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


This made me feel almost a battle of words, or colors. The back and forth point and counterpoint very creative, and use of the colors described also added emphasis to the images/colors introduced; made me think of 'dueling banjos.' Like the droll ending*Smile*

Thank you for offering this delightul piece!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


I like the story of Reginald. I could sense the satire, and knew somehow Reginald would mess up, but you made the journey there very enjoyable*Smile* Giving him back his original form and then his ultimate resting place was actually realistic, rather than a 'happy' ending. Again very satisfying.

Very little telling instead of showing, i.e., consider the 4th paragraph, inverting the first sentence for more immediacy, i.e., "A loud knocking on the front door interrupted his reverie over his miserable existence." (reverie isn't right, but I'm trying to show a bit more active and visual).

The converations are all very natural and easy to follow.

I really enjoyed the story, Reginald as a sympathetic and flawed protagonist works well for me.

Thank you for offering this very enjoyable story!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Review of the river  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


I really like the imagery you convey, both haste and peace in one image. It works well visually*Smile*

I note that you use a comma in the third line, consider perhaps also after the first, as it seems to me reading aloud to be a separate thoughtlet?

Reading aloud, the rhythm and flow are fairly smooth, and easy to follow, the peaceful image lingering after I have finished reading.

Thank you for offering this evocative work!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Review of Trees in Spring  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


Beautiful imagery, very picturesque and it makes me feel peaceful somehow, similar to a chain Haiku with two images.*Smile*

I note in "Birth of newborns burst forth" ~ "burst" relates to "birth" as written, so would be more logical as "bursting" or "bursts" (bursts sounds off, I think) ??? what think you?

Thank you for offering this evocative poem!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Great idea to survey after the contest. Good questions covered the various facets of the contest, multiple choices for responses. The opportunity to comment, and offering the opportunity to voice a more detailed response via email also a bonus!

Thank you for a great experience!
Kate
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Review of Dust Bunny  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


A thoroughly delightful poem, personifying the little dust bunny. The rhyming is sing-song and the images are fun and playful. I can picture each character, even the vile vacuum*Star*

I note but one line where, reading aloud, it seemed the words were forced to fit the rhyme,
the third line fourth stanza
"Since he left dust footprints"
and the last line
"He'd always outrun"
sound like the words are being pushed to fit the rhyme.

I can easily see this in a children's poetry book or perhaps Highlights?

I thank you for sharing and wish you luck with the "Dust Bunny"

Keep Writing!
Kate
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Review of Letter Home  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


I enjoyed reading your 'letter' poem. It did read like a letter would in rhyme*Smile* Making mention of the kitchen sink, cute*Smile*

The rhyming words held the images in each paragraph together well, but reading aloud they sometimes sounded a bit forced. i would suggest you try deleting a few of the pronouns and see how you think it sounds as far as the beat and rhythm of the stanzas.
i.e., something like -
"I admit I was pleasantly confounded
Discoering your warnings completely unfounded"

This would be a fun children's poem, I think, and wish you luck with it*Thumbsup*

Keep Writing!
Kate
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Review of A Moment in Time  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


So true, and reading your images evoked some poignant recollections of my childhood ~ does that signal approaching senility, when the images are so vivid ~ no, just your provocative piece, even to the thought that rise more frequently about what the ultimate future holds*Heart*

I like the opening sentence introducing the paragraphs, leading into the images therein. Engaging all my senses, well written in an easygoing reflective style.

I note but a few technical glitches i.e., "My newborn son's pulse against my lips as I kiss their hair." ~ note conflict in singular and plural?

Thank you for sharing this beautiful work!

Keep Writing!
Kate
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Strive to live the ordinary life in a nonordinary way.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
 Weekly NEWBIE Challenge  (E)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


Very picturesque and vivid images. The lighthouse seems to be more than just an edifice ~ something evoking a more eternal light*Star* Lead me well to the final line "Us"

Reading aloud, "Shines it blazing light" ~ "its" ??? or "in" ??? the image for me a bit confusing?

Reading aloud, the beat and flow were even in general, moved with ease from one image to the next.

Thank you for offering this beautiful work!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Strive to live the ordinary life in a nonordinary way.
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Review of Love Come Back  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


This is a beautiful prayer, images so vivid and uplifting. Reading aloud, I felt a lightness in my voice as I read from one stanza through to the next.

A few questions, switching from personal "me" in the first stanza, to "us" with respect to "my redemption" in the second, then back to "me" in the third had me go back to look for a reference to others??? would it work better all personal???

also, the first line, possessive for angels (angel's or angels') or just use "angel wings" ???

Thank you for offering this uplifting, joyous message!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: E | (4.5)
e:smile}Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


Beautiful imagery with your words ~ the progression from the destructive aspects of fire to the healing tht occurs after the cleansing *thumsup* The use of colors to depict each image (red fire - burning; gray, smoke; green, healing, i.e.) makes me think it could be a good read for a youth audience. Show them how the words reflect such imagery*Star*

Reading aloud, each stanza held it's own image well and the flow and beat were fairy even throughout. Thank you for offering this beautiful work.

Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Good idea for a story, left the characters open to interpretation. Basic information, allowing contributors to build the characters as well as the storyline!

Thank you for offering this entry. I enjoyed participating and look forward to returning for more.

Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: E | (3.5)
Good idea for a poll. Good variety of selection.

I'm uncertain about the disclaimer that it's mainly for Christians ~ since you state there's another option for those who don't accept Christian teachings, is that the "other" request for email?

A couple of points I noted ~ "downright" one word, as is "another" ~ also Christian should be capitalized throughout as a proper term, I believe.

Thank you for offering this thought-provoking poll

Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a delightful tribute*Smile*

Reading aloud, the rhyming in alternate lines of each stanza holds focus on the image in the stanza. The poem also tells an engaging story, with a logical progression to the tribute=conclusion.*Thumbsup*

The rhythm when reading aloud I notice a bit of unevenness, i.e., third stanza, for the stress/beat on key words, if you delete the word "And" in the fourth stanza see if you think it balances better with the rhythm of the second (rhyming) line???

Thank you for sharing this really great tribute!

Keep Writing!
Kate




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Review of the gulf at night  
Rated: E | (4.0)

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Thank you for this trip to the gulf ~ you describe this in such vivid detail, I can feel the sand and smell the ocean, though I have never in reality been there, feel the sand "squeak a bit," *Thumbsup*

It does actually feel spiritual as you state.

Technically, the stream of though is effective, but may be more so if separated into a few sentences to focus the eye on the images you convey so well individually.

Thank you for sharing this experience.
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: E | (4.5)
This is really beautiful, speaks from and to the spirit of the poet; the word images flow from one stanza to the next with poignant power.

When reading aloud, I feel the binding chains and the voice freed for a moment by the written word. The image stays with me after I have finished reading.

Reading aloud, I have but one comment on the depersonalization of the man "that" has toiled, perhaps consider "who" has toiled?
The pacing and beat is fairly even, each stanza leading to the next smoothly.

Thank you for sharing this provocative and powerful work.
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Review of Andrew  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


You convey Sage's loyalty and love very well, as well as a hint of regret at the lifestyle she is missing, along with the anger at her absent father, whose presence she thinks might have made things different, perhaps easier. She also has an acceptance of her life and 'attitude' which I like.

The story is well well told, with sufficient explanation of Andrew's illness and you provide a clue as to Ana's situation, and the ending choked me up both times I read the story.

I note there is a bit of telling instead of showing, for example, "The nighs at the shelter always consisted of Andrew sitting on the corner of the bed..." ~ consider rewording to put me there next to Andrew and Sage.

Also note a bit of variance in the point of view ~ i.e., the previous paragraph told in third person about Sage's mother.

You weave some really vivid insights into the thoughts and feelings of the characters, i.e., Andrew's friendship with the mailman and how well he new his dog*Star* ~ shows the real knowledge and experience you have*Thumbsup*

I note a few places where past and present tense conflict, and some of the sentence strucure, i.e., partial sentences. Also, starting several paragraphs in a row with "Ana"

But these do not detract from the beautiful story, told with insight, of friendship and loyalty that transcended poverty, social neglect. I really found myself liking the characters and you conveyed for them all both strength and weaknesses{e;star}

Thank you for offering this great read!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Review of Sleep at last  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


Your poem engages all my senses; visually very vivid and the beat of the lines and rhyming adds a sense of guns or beating of drums, soldiers marching *Thumbsup*

In reading aloud, there's a staccato beat to the whole poem, amplified by the comma separation within stanzas, the mahcine gun sound*Star* The beat of the lines is a bit uneven, and with the comma separation I would look for it to be more symmetrical.

In the fourth stanza, suggest for a bit more balance, delete "down" ~ see how it sounds to you, I don't believe it would detract from the visual image.

Also, "was lacked" in the next stanza seems to be set there for the rhyming?

Thank you for offering this thought provoking work!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Review of On Being A Dad!  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
 Weekly NEWBIE Challenge  (E)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


Each one of the images are so true for any parent ~ although you know when they really need somebody or are sick, then it's still "Daddy"

Reading aloud, the stanzas fit well together, comparing a past 'event' and its present counterpart*Thumbsup* The pacing was fairly even thoughout.

Your words entertain and delight^_^

Thank you for offering this great read!
Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
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Strive to live the ordinary life in a nonordinary way.
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Review of content  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like the way you start off nice and mellow, romantic, and then end tongue in cheek ~ nice twist

Reading aloud, there's a pleasing flow to the words, and the images are vivid, I can see the flashing orange and red in the fireplace*Thumbsup*

Suggested for your consideration, separate into two stanzas, with the second starting with "The fire flashes ...", see if you think they fit that was as individual images within the whole; I'm uncertain about ending two lines with the same word? "red"

Also in the beat of the lines (I'm figuring each comma would separate a line were this in stanzas), the beat falters a bit in one place for me, suggest "we push our worries aside" ??? and delete "will" from the final line.

Thank you for offering this great image poem*Smile*

Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


This is written with such vivid imagery ~ you truly speak words that must reach the spirit of every writer here!! The description of the process of how words come to life on paper, then the lament on how they are maniputated and cheapened by mass media; then returning to the strength of the written word. Each paragraph has a vivid and memorable conclusion, written in near poetic prose.

Your concluding statement lingers with me after I have finished reading.

Thank you for offering this great treatise on writing!

Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
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Strive to live the ordinary life in a nonordinary way.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


This is a beautiful story of a lasting friendship ~ we choose our friends and hopefully treasure them as these two have shown ~ to last even past death ~ beautifully related here*Star*

I was slowed in a few places and offer a few suggestions here for your consideration. You open with a lot of names and I am a bit confused as to who is getting married, had to go back to reread that they both are ~ suggest something in the first paragraph to state that their weddings are planned for the same date? or for dates but a few weeks apart? which is why they are each shopping for a veil or headdress.

Also, a couple of places, I note dropped words in your upload, i.e., "Nadine extracted her purse from her inner pocket."

When you state that they were back in "regular clothes," perhaps describe ~ i.e., jeans, shorts, whatever they are wearing to show me.

Where "Eve followed, looking concerned." suggest a bit more show than tell, something perhaps like "Eve followed, frowning with concern." ???

Another dropped word, "Everythig is going according to plan."

The scene in the hospital, again, I had to reread to determine whose wedding would be moved up? perhaps another line of conversation, or description?

Also, when pinning on the veil, using the last name, perhaps instead identify Jean as Eve's second-best friend (if that's what she is?)...

Absolutely beautiful ending, stays with me, "the future that seemed to blend with the past as she carried both." ~ had to note it, it's so vivid*Heart*

Thank you for offering this great read!
Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
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Strive to live the ordinary life in a nonordinary way.
Book of Runes
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Special Thanks to kelly1202 for my Adorable Sig*Heart*

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