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51
51
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Sumojo Author IconMail Icon }


I am reviewing your entry "Reluctant Homecoming" as a judge for
 
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest Open in new Window. [ASR]
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: This story of a young man who left home more than ten years and sees many changes in the world that he left behind but that some of the changes, might turn out for the best for all involved. In this story, we meet Michael, who returns home only to find that he is needed in not only in the life of his family but in the life of someone he thought had moved on without him.
The movement and direction of this story is even and well paced. I thought it played up the quotation line very well.

*Heart* What I loved: I loved that though this story might have leaned too heavily on the quotation line, it developed into a very likeable story with a plotline that many readers could get into.


*Leafr* What needs work: I didn't see anything in this story that needed work.


*Note1*Final thoughts: The story was well planned and engaging, it led me to want more from this writer and to find out what, if anything, develops further in the life of this character and his family in Australia.


"Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. [13+]


I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
52
52
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon

Good day to you! This is a sitewide review of your entry, "Memory's Winding Road", which is a poignant and lovely look at the funny and never the same route of aging. It's really a trip but let's move on to your review! *Smile*


Impression: This poem really found so much tongue in cheek humor about this journey (yes, I'm on it too) of moving into the "older" years. Indeed, much has changed around us, some for the better, like the Internet, and others, restrictions on free airwaves. Wow! I never knew, until they did, restrict what stations work on the television or on the radio! My children can scarcely process a time prior to the digital age and I, marvel, at so many changes in such a short time. However, yes, your poem struck several chords and I really loved how I engaged with its content.

*Heart* What I loved: I loved how you wrote about a subject that I found immediate relatability with.


*Leafr* What needs work: Oh, absolutely nothing in this area needs improvement. You can show so many others how to write as well.


*Note1*Final thoughts: I really enjoyed jumping in and find this poem to read and review on the review page. It is a gem of a poem and I really think it's up there in the top of the best submitted but that is just my opinion! All the best in the contest though and thank you for penning this poem.

"Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. [13+]



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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
53
53
Review of Sekhmet's Return  Open in new Window.
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Graham B. Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry "Sekhmet's Return", as a judge for
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest Open in new Window. [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: I am reviewing your short story, Sekhmet’s Return, for the short story competition for this month, and without further ado, let’s begin your review. This story is the tale of four young girls who seem to be adventurous, but it appeared more bored than adventurous as they found themselves in a very bad situation from their “curiosity.” The story flow moved slow, but you kept the interest of most of your readers in the suspenseful part as they dived deeper into the abyss of trouble that it seems they never pulled themselves out of.

*Heart* What I liked: I like to find something I love with the stories I’ve read and I could only leave this one liking the flow and movement as this story wasn’t written for the reader to fall in love with the characters, though they might root for their safety, to no avail.


*Leafr* What needs work:If I had to add any part for further work, I would suggest that you might read back into your story and ensure the continuity and sentence sense is solid throughout the writing, that is all.


*Note1*Final thoughts: This story ended in a cliff hanger where the evil spirit leaves with the sister and you can only know that only horror is in store for the rest of the world. Fortunately, this is all left to conjecture as there isn't any further writing to their fate but we can only hope for a better place. Yeah, right! Well, I do wish you all the best in the writing contest and thanks for your entry.


"Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. [13+]



I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
54
54
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Kåre เลียม Enga Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry "Orange Dawn of My Deception" as a judge for
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest Open in new Window. [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: I am reviewing your short story, Orange Dawn of My Deception, for the short story competition for this month, and without further ado, let’s begin your review. This story is the feels like a dream sequence that doesn’t play out the way the dreamer expected. The main protagonist has dreams of visiting Norway, corresponds with a friend in Tromso, (don’t have the keyboard for the Norwegian O) and is troubled by a deadline they don’t think they will reach prior to problems arising in the night. It really felt like a tense situation that wasn’t going to end the way they’d been planning and it I think the story really plays out a sequence of events quite well in a short space of writing.

*Heart* What I liked: For this story, I didn’t feel tied to the character too well but I did understand that feeling of loneliness, coffee that won’t keep you alert and dreams you never quite reach. I thought this was a quaint touch to add more connectivity to the story.


*Leafr* What needs work: I didn't see any areas that need rework or sentence corrections, which is a good thing. :D


*Note1*Final thoughts: As we conclude this review, I felt an abruptness to the end as the we lost the main protagonist to the orange glow that swept them away in the night, but that was necessary since they left to start a new journey beyond the stars. This was very nicely handled and interwoven into the story in a way that helped me forget that I was reading a frightening story. I do wish you all the best in the contest for this month and I do hope you keep on writing.


"Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. [13+]


I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
55
55
Review of Wandering Souls  Open in new Window.
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Wickedfugitive Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry, "Wandering Souls" as a judge for
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest Open in new Window. [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: In this story, you present to us a world that is truly dark and full of death, and this story is engrossing as it is full of the pensive energy that this world embodies. I immediately felt for the main character who found his brother, who he thought he’d engage with, only to lose this contact and be suddenly thrust into the harsh role of Soul Collector. I thought this story was way larger than the 2000 word limit allowed for so I left it really wanting to learn more but sadly couldn’t due to the story word limit. I think you did the best with the time and space allowed for.

*Heart* What I enjoyed: What I enjoyed about this story was the effort put into it but choosing a content that really needed more development and time which gave it a more grandiose feeling with the side characters who came and left in haste from the story pages.


*Leafr* What needs work: What I thought might be helpful for this story is that if you take another stab at it in a larger word form so that the reader can understand the needful backstory development that felt a bit rushed for the story limit.

*Note1*Final thoughts: As we close this review, I just wanted to thank you for this story, though the story content is not a happy type but is necessary at the time of year it is placed in and the year it was set within. Consumption was the killer in that time period for sure!


Thank you for your entry and I do wish you the best in the story competition.


"Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. [13+]



I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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56
56
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hi dogpack saving 4premium+ Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry, "ME, MY FRIEND, AND HALLOWEEN NIGHT"
as a judge for
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest Open in new Window. [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: In your short story entry, this story has this air of exasperation about it because the speaker doesn’t really want to leave their home on Halloween evening but because friendship is so strong, they feel that they must for friendship’s sake. This story felt kinda of funny in that sense, though the setting was not a comedy, it seemed as though some slap stick things were on the horizon. The last scene, which I will leave for the gentle reader to learn of, was this kind of slapstick that I alluded to that made this feel more lighthearted than maybe was its original intent.

*Heart* What I loved: What I enjoyed about this story was the relaxed air about the various scenes that were described yet none were calm, in actual reality, and though we learn that a friend might decide to use you for a sacrifice, it still felt silly as we run with the main character crazily back home.


*Leafr* What needs work:What I think might need more work is nothing as I didn’t see anything that needed extra punctuation or sentence sense work.


*Note1*Final thoughts:As we conclude this review, I would just want to encourage you to keep on in your writing journey, as it can go on as long as you wish it to, and I hope this character can find better friends down the road. Here’s to best wishes for the competition and thanks for your entry.


"Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. [13+]


I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
57
57
Review of The Rising  Open in new Window.
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Espero Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry, "The Rising" as a judge for
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest Open in new Window. [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!

*Lightning2* Impression: In this story of a young man called Bruce whose life changes one afternoon and sets him on the course of an adventure of his lifetime. This story rang so true because you can have this one encounter that impacts your life in such a strong way that things change, and you change with them. This is the story of Bruce who saves the life of a voodoo Priestess and he no longer is the same quiet, unassuming man he once was. This story was very solidly written and keeps the reader interested until the ending, where they hope for more of this story.

*Heart* What I loved: What I enjoyed from this story is how this encounter the main character Bruce adjusts his life forever, and it isn’t a negative change but a strongly positive one. This was a very good touch for this story.



*Leafr* What needs work: What needs work – I did not see anything that needed punctuation or sentence sense correction in this story which is a plus for you.


*Note1*Final thoughts: As we conclude this review, I am so pleased to have completed a review of your work and left it feeling positive about the words I’ve read and the interaction from this solid and concise story. I wish you all the best in the competition and I do hope you keep on writing!


"Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. [13+]



I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
58
58
Review of Magrev's Mistake  Open in new Window.
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Beholden Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry, "Magrev's Mistake" as a judge for
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest Open in new Window. [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: This short story of a mage who allows himself to be buried many ages ago only to be reborn in a later time with an ancient orb of power that he would wield along with the aid of his trusted servants, backfires due to time and nuclear destruction. What should have turned out well, backfires as this powerful mage is upstaged by a nuclear explosion in the area he was buried within, that contaminates all of the fresh water for hundreds of miles around. This was a clever little story and brought a backwards grin to my face.

*Heart* What I enjoyed: I tend to enjoy when a writer uses the tools they are given in a clever way and this is what happened in this story. This keeps the writing interesting for the reader to continue engagement in the story and characters.


*Leafr* What needs work: Nothing needs work from what I have read.


*Note1*Final thoughts: As we conclude this review, we must revisit the mistake this ancient mage made so many centuries prior never calculating for a nuclear accident, as this kind of power was outside of his thinking to calculate it occuring. Ah! Well, hope things turn out for Magrev and I do wish you the best in the competition.


"Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. [13+]


I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
59
59
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Kotaro Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry, "Halloween Battle in Shibuya" as a judge for
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest Open in new Window. [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: In this short story, there is a being who can transform himself into Ty Cobb and baseball player are used in these battles against the alien forces, which is a clever use of utilizing well known names to imprint on ones mind when you appear to end their life force. Some of the names were a bit unfamiliar, forgive my ignorance but I thought this was a very nicely handled story for this entry.

*Heart* What I loved: What I enjoyed from this entry was the clever use of a baseball player as the “cover” disguise when you appear to rid the space of the alien forces.


*Leafr* What needs rework – Nothing needed correction.


*Note1*Final thoughts: As we conclude this review, I find myself smiling at the story telling from this story that made it so enjoyable of a read. I love reading good writing and this qualifies as that in my book. Thank you so much for your entry and best wishes in the competition.

"Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. [13+]



I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
60
60
Review of Nightmares  Open in new Window.
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi THANKFUL SONALI Magical Days! Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry, "Nightmares" as a judge for
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest Open in new Window. [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: For your short story, you wrote the story to tie into the picture prompt in a very solid way that it wasn't an afterthought but one that worked as something that some of your story's characters found "disturbing" to the point that they stated they would have nightmares from seeing it. I do applaud the cleverness of utilizing it so heavily, and not disregarding it or not even mentioning it at all. I thought the story moved very well and the you created character's who were interesting and solid from beginning to end. Great work with this story.

*Heart* What I enjoyed: I thought that the use of the photo prompt was cleverly integrated so that it didn't feel forced, but a solid tool for the story's structure.


*Leafr* What needs work: Nothing needs work.


*Note1*Final thoughts: As we conclude this review, I must give your story a nod for the work put into the character development and for the organizational structure to work with the photo prompt both at the beginning and the end of the story. It was nicely woven into the the seams and it solidified it. Thank you for your entry and I do wish you the best in the competition.


"Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. [13+]



I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
61
61
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Anna Marie Carlson Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry, "Halloween Day, The Cat Inside the Moon, as a judge for
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest Open in new Window. [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: Your short story is a celebration of those things that can still bring happiness on the fictional Planet U, a place where all things you can think of that are happy, bright peaceful, all animals live together and exist (along with the humans) on Planet U. Planet Earth is full of pain, and most want to escape this place but seek this wonderful place in spite of the pain that is so prevalent in the world today. The children (and grown-up ones, too) can play dress-up and forget the pain of their existence on one evening. This story is a great synopsis of this reality and you so wonderfully captured this with this tale.

*Heart* What I enjoyed: I thought this story did an excellent job of capturing this on this fictional planet U which sounds delightful if only we can get there.

*Leafr* What needs work: Nothing needs work.


*Note1*Final thoughts: What a lovely idea of this place on Planet U, forever Halloween day, where dressup is all the time, the black cat is in a safe space, and other animals too. I think your story was speaking of a broader subject but it was good that you stepped in this area for discussion. Thank you for your entry and best wishes in the competition.


"Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. [13+]


I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
62
62
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry, "The Wizard's Letter", as a judge for
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest Open in new Window. [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: For your short story, we are treated to a wizard traveling by plane with an important letter, one that might ultimately get him or whomever hands it falls into, killed. We meet the main protagonist, David Stout, and he runs into a fellow traveler, Randy, as he proceeds to travel with an important letter that needs delivering. I love the setup and story telling involved with these characters, and hope they are part of a bigger universe than what is shown here.

*Heart* What I enjoyed: I thought this story moved along with a smoothness and deftness of a masterful writing hand. it is always a pleasure to read this type of writing.


*Leafr* What needs work: Nothing needs work.


*Note1*Final thoughts: As we conclude this review, there are so many glowing remarks I want to make about your story but save them and simply say that I am glad that you submitted your writing for the competition. I do wish you all the best and thank you for your entry.


"Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. [13+]



I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
63
63
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Roari ∞ Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry, "Blind Revenge" as a judge for
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest Open in new Window. [ASR]
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: For your short story, you have taken a tremendous time in history and young characters as your story content and what a tale you wove with them in tow. The characters are snatched from their lives and thrown into a different time in history with no family or funds to help them along. Life will be so hard, and yet, death evades them. The eldest vows revenge on the being who shattered their lives, and this is the story structure as it provides the back drop for a raw tale.

*Heart* What I enjoyed: This story was not the enjoyable type but I could relish a bit of satisfaction at the being getting his just desserts by the end.


*Leafr* What needs work: Nothing needs work.


*Note1*Final thoughts: As we conclude this review, what a powerful fantasy with solid characters and storytelling that is outstanding. I cannot tell you how much I love reading good edited writing and this story is pristine. I do hope you continue to share your writing with us and best wishes for the competition.


"Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. [13+]



I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
64
64
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi THANKFUL SONALI Magical Days! Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry as a judge for
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest Open in new Window. [E]
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: For your fan based fiction short story piece you chose the world of Hogwarts and J.K. Rowling for your story base. In your short story, "Jeeves at Hogwarts", where Jeeves decides to have it out with the House Elves of Hogwarts but this turns bad for all party's involved. While Hermione is busily examining a parchment, this all begins and it doesn't stop until someone is shrunk and turned into an insect to be squashed.

*Heart* What I loved: I am not that familiar with Harry Potter's world but as a reader I can appreciate it in all of its mystery and beauty. It was a fun and interesting story and I am able to follow from a few readings I've conducted from years past, so that helps.

*Leafr* What needs work: Nothing in the story needs work.


*Note1*Final thoughts: The Jeeves character is a funny character that you can have do a variety of fun tasks as shown in your short story entry and that is what made the story so delightful, to me, was your choice of protagonist in your story choice.

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
65
65
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi Neil Clair Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry as a judge for
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest Open in new Window. [E]
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


*Lightning2* Impression: For your fan fiction based short story piece titled, "It's Jackie Freakin Quinn" the deranged daughter of Harley Quinn, the sometimes paramour of the Joker but she's not been seen much since her daughter emerged on the scene. It was a simple day with Harley out on a balance beam one hundred feet in the air with her six year old daughter who fell and knocked all of the inhibiting sides of her brain loose and opened up everything deranged.

*Heart* What I loved: The story of the Harley Quinn can live on now in the life of her only child, Jackie, who is especially crazy and disconnected to doing what is "right". What's right is what is best for Jackie, as she has been taught by Harley so there isn't any reason to believe she'd do anything different.


*Leafr* What needs work: There is nothing that needs work in this story.


*Note1*Final thoughts: It's always a good thing to see a new villain offering from the Quinn family and I know this is going to only burn brighter and brighter. Best wishes in the contest.



I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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66
66
Review of Broken Silence  Open in new Window.
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Sorji Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry as a judge for
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest Open in new Window. [E]
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: For your fan fiction genre choice, you chose the video game, Silent Hill, and the Pyramid Head as your main protagonist. For starters, you definitely chose a subject that gives me chills when I think of it. Your short story entry, "Broken Silence" is a creepy entry for this contest and I can tell you that anything that has to do with Silent Hill, for me, is always frightening. I love the way you handled some of the themes and the content of the game, the grey children, oooh, I remember them once I read the words. It is both sad, and blood chilling at the same time.


What I liked most: I really enjoyed your imagery, as I haven't seen the video game in years. It is an older game but I heard they are bringing it back with the new graphics capability, it is gonna corner the market.

What I liked least: As I usually state, I don't like it cause most short stories don't have a part 2 so I can keep on reading about the character, but maybe I should step back from this one while I have a chance.


Closing thoughts: I must applaud your work and your writing. I am not really a reader of frightening pieces but of course for the judging, I did and now I'm chilled to the bone with fear. What a specularly frightening character but you do this so well. Best wishes in the contest.


I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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Review of I, Data  Open in new Window.
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Sam N. Yago Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry as a judge for
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest Open in new Window. [E]
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: For your fan fiction genre entry, you chose to adapt it from the Star Trek series and use the droid "Data" as your basis for your short story entry, "I, Data". I guess, for starters, I never saw Data like his Data and boy was he a lady killer or something. There was some interesting and mind groping parts but the ending is the stomach puncher. I found comedy in this entry and I do hope it was added there as I found myself chuckling with some of the humor throughout.


What I loved: I thought this entry decided to play with attraction and gender normalness in the bedroom which I found to be a titillating addition to the story. The ending was a HOOT! No more said than that.

What needs work: I normally state that most short stories leave me hanging because there is no more to read but I must keep hope alive.

Closing thoughts: Your short story, "I, Data" ended up being a surprise addition and I like being surprised by entries that I hadn't expected to exist in the contest. Fortunately for you, your entry is one of these writings. Best of luck in the contest.

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore



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Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Christopher Roy Denton Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry as a judge for
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest Open in new Window. [E]
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: For your fan fiction genre writing you chose the young adult genre with the Twilight book series as your backdrop. The story has a main protagonist of a wolf who is speaking to a vampire, as in the Twilight series. The story read fairly simply and for those who like to be reminded that we read Twilight, this will be a fond throwback to a simpler time of teenage dreams.


What I liked most: I thought you handled the genre like a pro and slipped back, taking the rest of us with you, to the time of the height of the Twilight series phenomena. You chose to highlight the wolf side over the vampire and settle on the story with Leah in it. I thought it was well shown as I scarcely recall the character but your interpretation brought back a memory or two.

What I liked least: As I have found myself saying, I don't dislike the writing but the lack of more writing to show what is happening with the characters, but I can keep hope alive.


Closing thoughts: As I stated earlier that your interpretation and reanimation of the Twilight series in most of our minds was a welcome bypass to a time of youth and folly. Good times, right? Good times! Good luck in the contest!

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore



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69
Review of Bond's Last Stand  Open in new Window.
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry as a judge for
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest Open in new Window. [E]
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: For your fan fiction spy mystery genre piece you wrote a story titled, Bond's Last Stand, which shows a Bond who is a retired and shuttered off into the nearest retirement home for retired spies. Though Bond can't move or flip like his younger self might do, he still had the charisma that drew so many admirers to him and to his bed. I thought you presented a retired Bond with class and finesse not taking away from his title but adding a bit of spunk for his final stand.

What I liked most: I was impressed how you phrased and framed the main protagonist, Bond, not as a frail senile man with not long to go before his final trip to the Big gun house in the sky but a man who still had the "IT".

What I liked least: I always feel a lil sad when a story is written well but there isn't more but I can always hope that there will be someday.


Closing thoughts: Great work on this story and for the creativity to keep the story interesting and not bore the reader with a lack luster entry. I thought you did a wonderful writing today. Best wishes in the contest.

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore



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Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Mara ♣ McBain Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry as a judge for
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest Open in new Window. [E]
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: For your fan fiction short story, A Sight for Sore Eyes, we are introduced to your main protagonist, John Dutton, straight from the hit show, Yellowstone (I'm a HUGE fan too!) and this new eye candy, Cyn a blast from his past stopping in to stir things up for a few minutes. I thought this story moved smartly but cleverly along, keeping both the interest and the attention of the reader. This was a very well handled piece of writing for your entry.


What I liked most: I thought that the story, though based on something airing currently, this didn't feel as if it couldn't be a script for next week's show storyline. The characters, the John Dutton and family, are likeable and relatable characters and the Cyn character will fit in perfectly, like a well fitting shoe.

What I liked least: The only thing I find that I dislike when a story is reading well, I dislike that there isn't more story to read.


Closing thoughts: I think that you are on to something with these characters and this fan fiction foray. We can't get enough of the show and some well written stories about the Duttons might have to suffice once the season runs out. Definitely enjoyed reading your writing and best of luck in the contest.

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Chris24 Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry as a judge for
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest Open in new Window. [E]
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: What an interesting foray into the science fiction with your short story entry, "The First Starfighter", with a fighter who thinks he is retired until he is thrust back into the fight in order to live. The fighter, Alex Rogan, has taken to alcohol and sleeping in days, is alerted to a new danger from an unexpected source that rocks his world.

Your spelling and grammar: I really enjoyed the movement and flow of this writing. It really kept me engaged from start to finish.

What I liked most: The main protagonist was tightly written and had a good balance around him in the writing. I didn't feel any lags or stunted parts to his telling of the story.

What I liked least: There was nothing to dislike about this story.


An editing suggestions: none.


Closing thoughts: This is a plausible story of science fiction if space flight and intergalactic space travel were real but in spite of this, I felt like this was entirely possible since the story was written so strong. Good luck to you in the contest!

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore



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Review of Name of Names  Open in new Window.
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Mastiff Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry as a judge for
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest Open in new Window. [E]
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: This is a review for your short story, Name of Names, in which we meet a protagonist who is the last of his kind surviving in the Zombie apocalypse and because he began his journey so young with his father, he states that he is known by the name Jesus, and tied him stepping outside of a burial area, he appeared to mimic Jesus from the Bible.

What I loved: Your cleverness and ingenuity in this story and working to tie some ideas together for this short story, I give you a Hug.

Your spelling and grammar: This wasn't an area that needed improving on.


What needs work: I think you were tying the survival idea and his ability to survive to the idea that he had a Jesus like quality, possibly supernatural. I felt you wrote like your main protagonist was a lucky guy and nothing else and I have a hard time believing in this horrible hard hearted time of human history they would recall Jesus without reading and where are the books? These type of ideas fall away as society crumbles as it would in this type of scenario, which I felt wasn't strong enough for the main intent of your story, in my opinion.


An editing suggestions: none.


Closing thoughts: So, I think your ideas in some parts are clever and intriguing and I struggled to tie some of the others together. This is only my humble opinion and not to be taken for more than this. Good luck in the contest!

I liked reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore



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73
Review of Trick or Treat  Open in new Window.
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi C.E.Wilder Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry as a judge for
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest Open in new Window. [E]
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: For your fan fiction genre choice you chose to write a story titled, Trick or Treat, which featured the antics of Lock, Stock and Barrel from The Nightmare Before Christmas movie and your take on this trio was interesting indeed!

Your spelling and grammar: There weren't any misspelled words or awkward sentences to be found in the your short story, so bravo!

What I liked most: I thought this group of Halloween scallions were delightfully scary from the movie but I never anticipated seeing them in a standalone fiction piece that actually ventured into introspective musings and ponderings of this trio's final estate in life. I thought it was well done!

What I liked least: I wished that this story could continue as we learned more about their further melding within this new environment and changing who they were in order to adapt.


Closing thoughts: I truly liked your entry and your new take on these characters for further development outside of the Nightmare Before Christmas. Wish you the best for your story today.

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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74
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Steve Joos Author IconMail Icon }


I am reviewing your entry as a judge for
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest Open in new Window. [E]
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: This short genre story fixed about the storyline of the television show "MASH" which was popular in the 70s, and sadly I know the show this brings back such nostalgia! The name of your main protagonist, Maj. Charles Emmerson Winchester III, and his sister, Miss Honoria Winchester, must mean something but I'm missing it but I will give you nods for the cleverness. I think this will be an enjoyable choice for readers of your work.

Your spelling and grammar: I did not see any issues in this area so nothing to say.

What I liked most: The wit, the tongue in cheek of the and the choice of last names (Winchester) was a delightful to read. The movement of the work, you kep things interesting and engaging for the reader.

What I liked least: I really did not have anything to dislike about your writing.


Suggestions: None to offer but to keep up the great work!

An editing suggestions: none.


Closing thoughts: The Army show "MASH" which was a favorite for many reason was a good choice for you today as I read through your work. It's not a choice I would have made but I'm not as clever with these types of work plays so kudos to you!

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore



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Review of Shelf  Open in new Window.
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi BirdSeedSteve Author IconMail Icon

This is a review for your humorous poem, "Shelf" and now onto the review. Which, I may add, will be taken well for an critique is meant to help and not alarm. Okay, enough platitudes, back to the review.


Impression: What a witty poetry piece expressing thoughts and exhultations towards the versatile piece of furniture...the shelf. I think it takes a creative mind to look at an inanimate item like this to conjure together words that are pleasant and bring grins to the readers face. Like mine. This was such a pleasure to read today!

*Heart* What I loved: I loved the simple complexity of this short writing. I am not fooled by the well written short piece because it takes a deft hand to do this well. I loved being surprised like this by a writing! Great work!

*Leafr* What needs work: Nothing, absolutely nothing here needs improvement.


*Note1*Final thoughts: What a fun writing I came across this morning! Thank you so much for this opportunity to rate and review your work this morning.


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