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My overall opinion: This is the stark story of a young man's long path back to recovery as a soldier in his planet's war, in which, he suffers debilitating injuries and must lean on others on his way back to health. I was struck by the age chosen for the young warriors, 15 years, just shy of being a full-fledged teen and yet already seasoned soldiers. A sobering, yet triumphant story!
Your spelling and grammar: No spelling or grammar errors were discovered.
What I liked most: What I loved was the interplay between the brother and sister characters. As he fought her, and she nearly gave in because he was so negative, there is a redeeming time when friends rise to occasion and help when it is needed most. This was most encouraging to the young man who almost lost hope for any good in his life.
What I liked least: Nothing except maybe the ages of the characters. So young to experience this type of pain and loss, and yet, I know it's only a story. I am hopeful this stays that way.
Closing thoughts: This was a solid story with poignant moments and realistic dialogue that kept me enthralled til the end. Well done!
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.
Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
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My overall opinion: This was a surprise story with more than initially expected for the title. There was not only the single parent issue, family separation along with a very precocious, nearly OCD child of the main character to keep things moving along in this story. It didn't feel like a happy tale but I left thinking there was love, and at least, they had one another.
Your spelling and grammar: I did not find any grammar or spelling errors in this story.
What I liked most: I liked that the brought the surprise to his mother, as it didn't seem, to me, that he often brought her happy surprises. The story of the Christmas miracle has been told many times but not like this one. I enjoyed it!
What I liked least: Not sure if the open-ended ending fits here for me, even though we were left with the main character's Mother in the hospital. She felt like a side character for me, necessary for the letter miracle to play out in the story but nothing more.
Closing thoughts: This story of a Christmas miracle not only for the main character, Lois, but for her son Mason is heart-warming as their dynamics play out throughout the story. There seemed some loving tension but she will always provide for him as he's her reminder of what her life is for.
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.
Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
Impression: This review is for your poem, "Our Canvas is Life", a poem that is a metaphorical comparing of a poet and an artist.
What I loved: I enjoyed the idea behind this piece. To muse on how an artist and a poet can be so closely related.
I thought the second line in your second paragraph really was thought provoking and introspective. So many are lauded as having talent but many who do, they have it because of the experience in their lives.
I thought the work you presented rounded nicely around the title of the poem.
Final thoughts: Enjoyable work! I hope to read more of your work in the future!
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My overall opinion: This story is written for the story prompt of a villain who thinks they are doing a valiant thing, that they are the hero who saves the day when they are the bad person all along. In this story, we meet a man who comes from a long line of lawyers and he decides to contemplate murder.
Your spelling and grammar: As I read through your entry, I found this sentence sense error in paragraph three, first sentence: “So where does my “murder theory” come into play?” You ask. This sentence needs editing for syntax error and is not a huge rewrite for this story.
What I liked most: I enjoyed that you did not fill in unnecessary information but attempted to present your character, though this character could use more background or info, in my opinion.
What I liked least: It just felt a bit unclear but I still read through and enjoyed your story.
An editing suggestions: My other suggestion is to just read through again for clarity and reading ease.
Closing thoughts: This was a good story and I do encourage you to keep on writing and developing your work.
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you will. Keep writing.
Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
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My overall opinion: This guy was a pompous jerk with narcissistic tendencies but hardly a villain, in the context of villainy. Yes, he has authority issues, and wishes to do things and has lack of respect for the work that goes into keeping the country safe, but that makes him a dirt bag, not a villain from my perspective.
Your spelling and grammar: Great spelling and grammar. No issues there.
What I liked most: I liked how the character was laid out and various scenarios with him were provided.
What I liked least: I wanted to see him do something besides say breathe out threats, that he isn't strong enough to act on. Most people lack the umpfh to DO anything...and I didn't like that the officers just didn't cuff him for making threats. They could do that, if they so chose to.
An editing suggestions: None were necessary.
Closing thoughts: So, this character wants to be a tough guy, huh? Well, I'd love to see him drafted, or kidnapped and dropped in different part of the country. Then, let's see how much of a villain he actually is! Oh! The thinks you could think but I'm getting into a whole other territory.
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you will. Keep writing.
Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
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My overall opinion: This story is about a man who is meeting his counselor for the first time because he acts in violence against his wife. He is insistent that his actions are provoked by his wife's laziness. The counselor hears his rebuttals and states that they will recommend divorce and immediate seperation, for his wife's safety.
Your spelling and grammar: No spelling or grammar issues were found.
What I liked most: My favorite part of this story was how the counselor did not allow him to get a rise out of them. They stated what they would do and left the room, leaving him to rant and rave. It was a very good addition to this story!
What I liked least: Probably the story content was my least favorite. It's a taboo and hard to read.
Suggestions: I felt that you created this person as a believable villain who thinks he's the hero of the story. In his warped mind, what he does makes sense and is just.
An editing suggestions: None needed for this piece.
Closing thoughts: This was a very good character set up for the villain of your story, should you lengthen it. I thought you did a good job with introducing us to this scary character.
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.
Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
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My overall opinion: This is the character intro of a young thug who has lived a hard life and chosen to pursue crime as a profession. He has a very bad experience with another pal, who is killed by another group of thugs, and this sets in him the need to never let anyone hurt him. This theme continues unto the very end of this sad story.
Your spelling and grammar: No spelling or grammatical errors were found.
What I liked most: I liked the movement of the story, and the language. He definitely came across as a tough guy but I felt he was shaped by his life, the things that were thrust upon him and he just couldn't escape. I really enjoyed your character introduction!
What I liked least: How this character ended was not the greatest for me but he was on a roll and all things must stop sometime.
An editing suggestions: None were needed.
Closing thoughts: I thought you kept the pace lively and interesting. Even though I was reading about the villain, I found myself rooting for him and hoping he might win somehow. This bodes well for his guy if you placed him in a story of his own. This character intro was a strong one and well laid out. I found myself really feeling vested in this character, which is a good sign to me of a job well done!
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you will. Keep writing.
Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
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My overall opinion: In this story based on a story prompt for a villain we meet a woman, Jamie, who is the true definition of the saying, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" and this woman not only was scorned but he tried to destroy her life. She is striking back like someone seeking justice for wrongs inflicted to her and her family.
Your spelling and grammar: There were no spelling or grammatical errors in this story.
What I liked most: I loved her purpose and indignation. She is going to succeed in her revenge.
What I liked least: I didn't have anything that stood out for me, and that's good.
Suggestions: For easier online reading, I would suggest you break up the paragraph sections so it doesn't feel like it all is running together. There is a lot of content but when it is all jammed together, it gets hard to read.
An editing suggestions: See above.
Closing thoughts: Jamie is a true hellion but it only turned out that way because of what her former husband awoke in her. I think she could make a good continuing character, if you chose to.
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you will. Keep writing.
Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
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My overall opinion: This story written for the villain story prompt introduces us to a loveless marriage, two unhappy people, and two people in lust. The main character, Jacob, is caught in an affair with a women who expresses deep interest in him and his life, while at home, his wife, Sarah, treats him like last week's garbage. He is starved for emotion and affection; this woman gives him all that he needs even though, it will destroy his marriage. So technically, he is the villain here, even though I wouldn't rule out his girlfriend. She's not counseling him about his marriage; she is trying have him for herself.
Your spelling and grammar: No spelling or grammar issues were found.
What I liked most: In a story like this, there is so little to like about the theme, and the main character as a man is not dynamic but as often happens, he is to someone.
What I liked least: His mousy air was not beguiling but again, he is employed. And that is attractive to someone. I also am not a fan of affair stories because they all end the same.
An editing suggestions: None were found. I did like that you used great line and paragraph spacing which make for easier online reading.
Closing thoughts: As you read, I am torn on his status as a villain because there is more than one villain here, in my opinion. The marriage is loveless, and is hanging on by a thread. But that is usually how it works. Good job, though!
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you will. Keep writing.
Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
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My overall opinion: This is a fantastical romp for the villain story prompt that explores whether a villain, wait, no, a SpaceVillain be good, do good. In this story, we meet a girl named Zoria whose mother is an evil SpaceVillain and only strives to pursue the worst. Yet her daugther wants to be a SpaceVillain too but only do good, not bad. I like it...it's zany!
Your spelling and grammar: There were no spelling or grammatical errors found.
What I liked most: I liked the absurdity of it, the fun of it, and the theme.
What I liked least: That Zoria's mother dies before she got to see her daughter succeed as a SpaceVillain that only does good.
An editing suggestions: None were needed. I did want to mention that your line and paragraph spacing were very nice and help with online reading fatigue.
Closing thoughts: Zoria sounds like a character with a polyanna view of the universe but you got to give it to her. She's got large kahunas to take on the villain industry as a good villain! Well done.
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you will. Keep writing.
Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
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My overall opinion: Wow! This character was developed just for this month's story prompt for a villain character, and boy, is this woman the high point of villainy! She doesn't give preferential treatment, unless you're an extraordinary deadbeat and then, watch out. Your days are numbered! I thought she was right on point for all the criteria for a villain and she doesn't sugar coat herself. What else can I say? Bravo!
Your spelling and grammar: None were found.
What I liked most: This character doesn't make any bones about who she is and what she does. She figures she is doing the world a community service by getting rid of those she calls 'the dregs of society'.
What I liked least: The thing I liked least was this was only for the story prompt. This character needs to live on, exacting her twisted justice.
An editing suggestions: None were needed. I will say I did enjoy your line and paragraph spacing as it makes for easier online reading.
Closing thoughts: This character is really larger than life and highly intelligent, which just intensifies her danger capacity. Where could she go and what she could do is just left up to the imagination. Ah! The ideas...
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.
Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
** I chose to review this work, "Silent Hallow" [18+] for The Disabilty Writers Group and the Susan J. Schrebe Memorial relay.}
** My impression of this piece: It feels eerie not long into reading it and the mood is sad and final. It is the life of someone who sees that their circumstances are not only not going to improve but they have gotten worse. I thought the writer did a good job of conveying this in this piece.
** Readability / Grammar / Punctuation: This writing employs readability and conciseness of thought throughout. I like when the writing is properly spaced and makes it easier to read online. Correct punctuation and dialogue engagement was a plus for me.
** What I really liked:This is a story that does not have a happy ending but I can appreciate how well the writer conveys this character's home life in a few short sentences. The mood aptly set so the reader could enter into this situation. Her home life is not a happy one; she is living with her father on the farm. Their relationship is not a good one. We meet a young girl who is engaged but it has lingered too long, leaving her feeling it will never happen. We soon learn why it will never happen and what the main character intends to do about it.
I think that many readers can enter into the situation presented in the story but not the ending.
** Suggestions: I really did not have any suggestions for this writing.
** Final Thoughts / Side Notes: Great story and imagery!
Impression: The short tale titled, The Maid on the Hill, is a fun little romp set in olden days with maidens sleeping in hills and men passing by, eyes all agape.
What I loved: I loved the olden style, when a man is gazing on a woman in a mischievous manner that is often misconstrued for more. It was told succinctly and with a clever tone. I enjoyed reading this.
What needs work: It is rare that something doesn't need workbut this didn't. Great job today!
Final thoughts: Well, I really enjoyed reading this work from you today and hope to come across more on future reviewing.
This is just a short piece on how the war can tear down a person's spirit, their positivity, their desire to live, even for themselves. Now without further adieu, on to the review!
Impression: What I read was honest, straightforward and direct writing about how war affects those involved. It wasn't beautiful, or eloquent but I got the message!
What I loved: I like direct writing. Especially when there's a message behind it. Nice nice job!
What needs work: Nothing really
but I did think this paragragh could be two, for reading ease and for clarity.
Final thoughts: Anson, nice work on a subject many are unable to broach.
Impression: This review is for your poem, "Once, I Thought", an introspective ,honest look at oneself, and how one can present themselves to others.
What I loved: I felt this was an honest and open writing that didn't ask for any favors but chose to just say what was wrong to make life adjustments.
What needs work: I don't think this poem needs work but these are just some suggestions that you can use or not use:
There needs to be consistent use of punctuation, so if you choose to use the comma to end your sentences, you need to make sure all use it and then you end with your stanza to complete your thought.
Final thoughts: I think your poem is very good and I enjoyed reviewing it today.
Your entry, "Sound Begets Sound", is being reviewed for the "Rising Stars Shining Brighter" [E] contest, as well as the annual North Star for previous winners, for this month.
Rhythm, flow, style: There is such precision with your writing that reveals a technically driven writer. Your poetry asks the reader to think and to delve into its own world as we read, and learn. I love the movement and flow of this piece. Quite enjoyable!
What I liked the most: I love the subtlety of the fewest words used yet it wields a powerful punch. The mark of a great writer is saying much with the fewest words possible. I feel you achieved this with your poem.
What I liked the least: Nothing at all. Everything was a delight!
Remarks: This was an exciting and thought provoking piece that says so much with so few words. I saw the truth in your words and left pondering their words.
Bravo on this excellent piece and I do wish you all the best in the North Star contest!
This review is for your essay piece, "The Power of 30 Seconds", an interesting look at what can transpire within this time frame and why it is important to value the time given to consider it wisely.
Impression: I thought this was a great look at something that most people don't consider and the essay provided concrete examples to support the thought.
What I loved: I enjoyed how you presented your piece in a brief and concise manner which allows the reader to think on what you stated and hopefully, make wise choices as they move forward.
What needs work: My suggestions for correction or revision are my own and should be taken as such. Now, I only found one area for editing. It was in the fifth paragraph, first sentence that begins with:
"The power of thirty seconds...", uses a incorrect word at the end of the sentence. I am sure you meant the word "overstated", and not "understated". It's a minor error and can easily be corrected.
I would also suggest another space between the last paragraph and your quote. This quote is supposed to stand out as a final thought to the reader as they leave your writing. Again, this is my suggestion and nothing more.
Final thoughts: A good read and a small taste of possible future writings from your portfolio. I do hope you will continue to share your work with us here.
This review is for your poem, "From the Other Woman", which is told from the standpoint of the mistress or the "kept" woman. This is an interesting take on this scenario as most are told from the other side.
Impression: This is a gutsy poem that bears much emotion as the other woman finds that the man she's been seeing on the side is as much of a liar to her, as he is to his wife in the other life.
What I loved: The guy got the boot. It's great to see justice served in the end.
What needs work: I want to start out by saying that my suggestions are my opinion and should be taken as such. Now with that said, there were multiple errors in this piece and they only serve to detract from your work. There were two sentences where the word, he'll was spelled hell and that can easily be corrected.
The sentence that starts with the word Well needs a comma after the word it.
I also noticed that you used a capital letter in the middle of a two sentences but it is all part of the same thought. Check your work for capitalization errors and edit them for clarity.
The second to last sentence that begins with: "No and then you place a period where you need to use a comma.
Lastly, the last sentence is a run-on sentence because you used too many commas. I know it's a pain but here's where you want to take a breath with a period between the word wallet and now. Then begin the following sentence with a capital letter to ensure correct grammatical usage.
It's easy to get emotionally caught up in your work but you want to ensure that your reader can easily understand your thoughts without needing to edit them for you as they read it.
Final thoughts: I liked this piece and thought it to be different and interesting. I do hope to read and review more of your work soon and kudos for sticking to your guns.
This review is for your poem, "The Heart Key (An Ancient Poem)", which was written to summarize, in poetic form, a short story written by the author.
Impression: It just feels romantic and old-fashioned which I find appealing these days.
What I loved: I enjoyed the control and flow of this piece. It was tightly measured out and the emotion was conveyed in even tones. I could feel the Victorian era in this piece, and I loved it!
What needs work: Before I say anything, I would like to state that my views for suggestions are my opinion and should be taken as such. Now, let's begin. I did not find many things, only one, in the fourth paragraph, second sentence which begins: "It has been for..."you use the word for in the wrong tense." What I think you should use is the word foretold and this is one word and will make more sense here. It was a minor error and can be easily revised if you chose to edit this later.
Final thoughts: Enjoyed reading your work today and I look forward to seeing more work in your port.
This review is for your poem, "First Born", which written from the poet to their son. It is a heartfelt piece that I think will touch others hearts as it did mine.
Impression: I think it is clear that you are very proud of your son and love him dearly. This is spelled out throughout his wonderful piece.
What I loved: There is just nothing like a proud parent who has the opportunity to brag and express their love for their child.
What needs work: I just want to start out by saying that suggestions are my own opinion and they should be considered as such.
Now, there was one line that felt awkward or forced to me and I am not sure how it can be fixed to flow better.
The last line in the first paragraph that reads: I love you, no doubt, with all of my heart" the no doubt sounds odd there. I know you mean to say that there is no misunderstanding or it is a sure thing that you love him but I thought what if you wrote, "I love you, my dear, with all of my heart" instead? Just a suggestion.
There was a period missing in the last sentence of the third paragraph and the first sentence of the fourth paragraph. I am sure that was an oversight and is easily corrected.
Final thoughts: I do hope you continue to write and post more of your work here for us to review and rate. Again, I did enjoy your work and hope to see more of it soon.
This review is for your poem, "Twin Flame", which you wrote as an ode to the one you love.
Impression: I thought your poem was precious and though there were areas that might need revising, the emotion was truly heartfelt.
What I loved: I enjoyed the honesty of your words and I know that if your sweetheart ever read it, they would know it too.
What needs work: These suggestions are my opinion, and I hope you take it as such.
Your poem used punctuation inconsistently throughout it. The first paragraph used punctuation throughout, while the second one starting with the sentence: You fill my days..." does not use a period but this is its own separate thought so it needs it, as well as the third sentence in the same paragraph.
The use of quotations in the poem, I feel, is unnecessary in the line fro the third and fourth paragraphs because these are thoughts and the speaker is not saying this to anyone. It is their own thought and can stand alone as such.
Besides these points, I definitely enjoyed your work.
Final thoughts: I hope you keep on writing and post more of your work here for review. I am glad to have had the opportunity to review and rate your poem!
I just wanted to welcome you to the site and give you a review of your heartfelt poem, "Beautiful as Nature", a work that is close to your heart because of the chosen subject. This piece was brought about as part of a school assignment that you so graciously chose to share with us here at WDC! Let's talk about your work in a bit more detail below.
What I loved: It is so amazing that a work, so seemingly simple can bring out complex emotions when you chose to discuss someone you love dearly. It was so clear that this work was about someone close to your heart, and for that, I just fell in love with this piece.
What needs work: I honestly did not see any areas that you could improve on in this work.
Final thoughts: I loved this piece and hope that you continue to share more of your writing with our community. If you have not done so, please take a minute to visit "Noticing Newbies" and introduce yourself. I look forward to reading more of your work, and best wishes for the New Year!
Your entry, "She", is being reviewed for the "Rising Stars Shining Brighter" [E] contest for this month. I would like to start off by saying, "Awwww, I love a syrupy love poem, especially from a loving husband!" Well, with that said, let's move on to the review.
Rhythm, flow, style: The movement throughout the poem was smooth and the content kept me interested. Nice work.
What I liked the most: I loved the theme of this poem. It was heartfelt, raw in parts but completely loving and honest!
What I liked the least: My little heading states "what I like the least" but I really should list this "what needs correction". I did not see much except in the 4th paragraph down, last line where it reads "...their sterile, white BREAD ways." made me immediately think that you had a problem with their eating habits, not their breeding. I think the word you were looking for is BRED for this line. In the next paragraph, 7th line down the sentence that begins with but needs capitalizing.
Remarks: I wish you all the best with your writing and with the contest! Would love to read more poems about your marriage enduring in spite of the storms of life.
For your essay in the "Ten Years Ago in 2000" contest prompt you chose to chronicle that fateful day in the year 2000 that you left an abusive marriage and started life anew.
Rhythm, flow, style: This essay has a solid continued path of writing that led the reader through some treacherous paths but we stayed the course and you finished on a high note.
What I liked the most: What I loved was how you were able to organize your thoughts from that fateful day to share these memories of a life so far gone from you. It takes courage to walk away with nothing but you left with your dignity, with your children and your sanity.
I also love the final line - "So, that year – the worst year of my life, the best year of my life..." because it embodies so much. Though the year you left felt like the worst year of your life, you had already endured the worst over the 14 years prior to making that choice to leave. Whatever you went through did not match what you had survived.
What I liked the least: There were this spacing error in the fourth paragraph down: "hisleft" but this is a minor error and easily fixed. All in all, this was a strong and moving essay.
Remarks: I enjoyed reading and reviewing your writing today. Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
For your essay in the "Ten Years Ago in 2000" writing contest you chose to write about that very exciting year filled with your first voting privileges, the first big family vacation that impacted your future vacation trip choices, along with your first prom and that feeling of loss you felt when you lost someone you had known most of your to a sickness. Though this was not a long essay, you were still able to convey so much to the reader that gave us a glimpse into this special time back in 2000.
Rhythm, flow, style: The essay was written in a well outlined and cohesive style that was made even simplified even further by the way you blocked out each section. I wish more people would follow your example when discussing large blocks of information.
What I liked the most: I loved the various places and occasions you took the reader on as you recounted the a truly special year in your life. The year 2000 was one to be remembered for so many reasons and I thought the family vacation was my favorite. It was a celebration of your brother's sixteenth b-day, your high school graduation and your parent's 25th wedding anniversary, which all occurred within a four month span. That was pretty unique to me and for that, I picked it as my favorite.
What I liked the least: This story was written very well and I did not find any areas for improvement.
Remarks: I enjoyed reading and reviewing your writing today. Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.
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My review has been submitted for consideration in "
What I loved: I enjoyed the idea behind this piece. To muse on how an artist and a poet can be so closely related. 
Final thoughts: Enjoyable work! I hope to read more of your work in the future! 
* I chose to review this work, "
What needs work: It is rare that something doesn't need workbut this didn't. Great job today! 
Rhythm, flow, style: There is such precision with your writing that reveals a technically driven writer. Your poetry asks the reader to think and to delve into its own world as we read, and learn. I love the movement and flow of this piece. Quite enjoyable! 
