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101
101
Review of Once, I Thought  
Review by Happy Adore♥
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Tim Chiu


Impression: This review is for your poem, "Once, I Thought", an introspective ,honest look at oneself, and how one can present themselves to others.

*Heart* What I loved: I felt this was an honest and open writing that didn't ask for any favors but chose to just say what was wrong to make life adjustments.


*Leafr* What needs work: I don't think this poem needs work but these are just some suggestions that you can use or not use:

There needs to be consistent use of punctuation, so if you choose to use the comma to end your sentences, you need to make sure all use it and then you end with your stanza to complete your thought.


*Note1*Final thoughts: I think your poem is very good and I enjoyed reviewing it today.


"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]


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102
102
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Turtle ~ KanyáthƐko:wa:h

Your entry, "Sound Begets Sound", is being reviewed for the "Rising Stars Shining Brighter"  [E] contest, as well as the annual North Star for previous winners, for this month.

*Laugh**Smile**Cry**Delight*Rhythm, flow, style: There is such precision with your writing that reveals a technically driven writer. Your poetry asks the reader to think and to delve into its own world as we read, and learn. I love the movement and flow of this piece. Quite enjoyable!


*Reading**Star*What I liked the most: I love the subtlety of the fewest words used yet it wields a powerful punch. The mark of a great writer is saying much with the fewest words possible. I feel you achieved this with your poem.


*Reading* What I liked the least: Nothing at all. Everything was a delight!


*Note1*Remarks: This was an exciting and thought provoking piece that says so much with so few words. I saw the truth in your words and left pondering their words.

Bravo on this excellent piece and I do wish you all the best in the North Star contest!



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Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Michael J

This review is for your essay piece, "The Power of 30 Seconds", an interesting look at what can transpire within this time frame and why it is important to value the time given to consider it wisely.

Impression: I thought this was a great look at something that most people don't consider and the essay provided concrete examples to support the thought.

*Heart* What I loved: I enjoyed how you presented your piece in a brief and concise manner which allows the reader to think on what you stated and hopefully, make wise choices as they move forward.

*Leafr* What needs work: My suggestions for correction or revision are my own and should be taken as such. Now, I only found one area for editing. It was in the fifth paragraph, first sentence that begins with:

"The power of thirty seconds...", uses a incorrect word at the end of the sentence. I am sure you meant the word "overstated", and not "understated". It's a minor error and can easily be corrected.

I would also suggest another space between the last paragraph and your quote. This quote is supposed to stand out as a final thought to the reader as they leave your writing. Again, this is my suggestion and nothing more. *Smile*


*Note1*Final thoughts: A good read and a small taste of possible future writings from your portfolio. I do hope you will continue to share your work with us here.

Best wishes with your writing!

"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]



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Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi WrittenHeart

This review is for your poem, "From the Other Woman", which is told from the standpoint of the mistress or the "kept" woman. This is an interesting take on this scenario as most are told from the other side.

Impression: This is a gutsy poem that bears much emotion as the other woman finds that the man she's been seeing on the side is as much of a liar to her, as he is to his wife in the other life.

*Heart* What I loved: The guy got the boot. It's great to see justice served in the end.

*Leafr* What needs work: I want to start out by saying that my suggestions are my opinion and should be taken as such. Now with that said, there were multiple errors in this piece and they only serve to detract from your work. There were two sentences where the word, he'll was spelled hell and that can easily be corrected.

The sentence that starts with the word Well needs a comma after the word it.

I also noticed that you used a capital letter in the middle of a two sentences but it is all part of the same thought. Check your work for capitalization errors and edit them for clarity.

The second to last sentence that begins with: "No and then you place a period where you need to use a comma.

Lastly, the last sentence is a run-on sentence because you used too many commas. I know it's a pain but here's where you want to take a breath with a period between the word wallet and now. Then begin the following sentence with a capital letter to ensure correct grammatical usage.
It's easy to get emotionally caught up in your work but you want to ensure that your reader can easily understand your thoughts without needing to edit them for you as they read it.

*Note1*Final thoughts: I liked this piece and thought it to be different and interesting. I do hope to read and review more of your work soon and kudos for sticking to your guns. *Smile*

"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]



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Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Mark Allen Mc Lemore

This review is for your poem, "The Heart Key (An Ancient Poem)", which was written to summarize, in poetic form, a short story written by the author.

Impression: It just feels romantic and old-fashioned which I find appealing these days. *Smile*

*Heart* What I loved: I enjoyed the control and flow of this piece. It was tightly measured out and the emotion was conveyed in even tones. I could feel the Victorian era in this piece, and I loved it!

*Leafr* What needs work: Before I say anything, I would like to state that my views for suggestions are my opinion and should be taken as such. Now, let's begin. I did not find many things, only one, in the fourth paragraph, second sentence which begins: "It has been for..."you use the word for in the wrong tense." What I think you should use is the word foretold and this is one word and will make more sense here. It was a minor error and can be easily revised if you chose to edit this later.

*Note1*Final thoughts: Enjoyed reading your work today and I look forward to seeing more work in your port.

"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]

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Review of First Born  
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi melimel

This review is for your poem, "First Born", which written from the poet to their son. It is a heartfelt piece that I think will touch others hearts as it did mine.

Impression: I think it is clear that you are very proud of your son and love him dearly. This is spelled out throughout his wonderful piece.

*Heart* What I loved: There is just nothing like a proud parent who has the opportunity to brag and express their love for their child.

*Leafr* What needs work: I just want to start out by saying that suggestions are my own opinion and they should be considered as such.

Now, there was one line that felt awkward or forced to me and I am not sure how it can be fixed to flow better.

The last line in the first paragraph that reads: I love you, no doubt, with all of my heart" the no doubt sounds odd there. I know you mean to say that there is no misunderstanding or it is a sure thing that you love him but I thought what if you wrote, "I love you, my dear, with all of my heart" instead? Just a suggestion.

There was a period missing in the last sentence of the third paragraph and the first sentence of the fourth paragraph. I am sure that was an oversight and is easily corrected.

*Note1*Final thoughts: I do hope you continue to write and post more of your work here for us to review and rate. Again, I did enjoy your work and hope to see more of it soon.

"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]


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Review of Twin Flame  
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi melimel

This review is for your poem, "Twin Flame", which you wrote as an ode to the one you love.

Impression: I thought your poem was precious and though there were areas that might need revising, the emotion was truly heartfelt. *Heart*

*Heart* What I loved: I enjoyed the honesty of your words and I know that if your sweetheart ever read it, they would know it too.

*Leafr* What needs work: These suggestions are my opinion, and I hope you take it as such.

Your poem used punctuation inconsistently throughout it. The first paragraph used punctuation throughout, while the second one starting with the sentence: You fill my days..." does not use a period but this is its own separate thought so it needs it, as well as the third sentence in the same paragraph.

The use of quotations in the poem, I feel, is unnecessary in the line fro the third and fourth paragraphs because these are thoughts and the speaker is not saying this to anyone. It is their own thought and can stand alone as such.

Besides these points, I definitely enjoyed your work.

*Note1*Final thoughts: I hope you keep on writing and post more of your work here for review. I am glad to have had the opportunity to review and rate your poem!

"Noticing Newbies"  [13+]



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Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Becca

I just wanted to welcome you to the site and give you a review of your heartfelt poem, "Beautiful as Nature", a work that is close to your heart because of the chosen subject. This piece was brought about as part of a school assignment that you so graciously chose to share with us here at WDC! Let's talk about your work in a bit more detail below.

*Heart* What I loved: It is so amazing that a work, so seemingly simple can bring out complex emotions when you chose to discuss someone you love dearly. It was so clear that this work was about someone close to your heart, and for that, I just fell in love with this piece.


*Leafr* What needs work: I honestly did not see any areas that you could improve on in this work.

*Note1*Final thoughts: I loved this piece and hope that you continue to share more of your writing with our community. If you have not done so, please take a minute to visit "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself. I look forward to reading more of your work, and best wishes for the New Year!


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Review of She  
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Turtle ~ KanyáthƐko:wa:h

Your entry, "She", is being reviewed for the "Rising Stars Shining Brighter"  [E] contest for this month. I would like to start off by saying, "Awwww, I love a syrupy love poem, especially from a loving husband!" Well, with that said, let's move on to the review.

*Laugh**Smile**Cry**Delight*Rhythm, flow, style: The movement throughout the poem was smooth and the content kept me interested. Nice work.

*Reading**Star*What I liked the most: I loved the theme of this poem. It was heartfelt, raw in parts but completely loving and honest!


*Reading* What I liked the least: My little heading states "what I like the least" but I really should list this "what needs correction". I did not see much except in the 4th paragraph down, last line where it reads "...their sterile, white BREAD ways." made me immediately think that you had a problem with their eating habits, not their breeding. I think the word you were looking for is BRED for this line. In the next paragraph, 7th line down the sentence that begins with but needs capitalizing.

*Note1*Remarks: I wish you all the best with your writing and with the contest! Would love to read more poems about your marriage enduring in spite of the storms of life.


- Adore
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Review by Happy Adore♥
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Just an Ordinary Boo!

I am reviewing your story as a judge for
 Ten Years Ago In 2000...  (E)
Where were you in 2000? Write an essay to win big prizes!
#1700618 by Diane
. Thanks for entering!

For your essay in the "Ten Years Ago in 2000" contest prompt you chose to chronicle that fateful day in the year 2000 that you left an abusive marriage and started life anew.

*Laugh**Smile**Cry**Delight*Rhythm, flow, style: This essay has a solid continued path of writing that led the reader through some treacherous paths but we stayed the course and you finished on a high note.

*Reading**Star*What I liked the most: What I loved was how you were able to organize your thoughts from that fateful day to share these memories of a life so far gone from you. It takes courage to walk away with nothing but you left with your dignity, with your children and your sanity.

I also love the final line - "So, that year – the worst year of my life, the best year of my life..." because it embodies so much. Though the year you left felt like the worst year of your life, you had already endured the worst over the 14 years prior to making that choice to leave. Whatever you went through did not match what you had survived.


*Reading* What I liked the least: There were this spacing error in the fourth paragraph down: "hisleft" but this is a minor error and easily fixed. All in all, this was a strong and moving essay.

*Note1*Remarks: I enjoyed reading and reviewing your writing today. Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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Review by Happy Adore♥
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk

I am reviewing your essay as a judge for
 Ten Years Ago In 2000...  (E)
Where were you in 2000? Write an essay to win big prizes!
#1700618 by Diane
. Thanks for entering!

For your essay in the "Ten Years Ago in 2000" writing contest you chose to write about that very exciting year filled with your first voting privileges, the first big family vacation that impacted your future vacation trip choices, along with your first prom and that feeling of loss you felt when you lost someone you had known most of your to a sickness. Though this was not a long essay, you were still able to convey so much to the reader that gave us a glimpse into this special time back in 2000.

*Laugh**Smile**Cry**Delight*Rhythm, flow, style: The essay was written in a well outlined and cohesive style that was made even simplified even further by the way you blocked out each section. I wish more people would follow your example when discussing large blocks of information.

*Reading**Star*What I liked the most: I loved the various places and occasions you took the reader on as you recounted the a truly special year in your life. The year 2000 was one to be remembered for so many reasons and I thought the family vacation was my favorite. It was a celebration of your brother's sixteenth b-day, your high school graduation and your parent's 25th wedding anniversary, which all occurred within a four month span. That was pretty unique to me and for that, I picked it as my favorite.

*Reading* What I liked the least: This story was written very well and I did not find any areas for improvement.

*Note1*Remarks: I enjoyed reading and reviewing your writing today. Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.


silent adore

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Review of A 2000 Man  
Review by Happy Adore♥
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Dude

I am reviewing your essay, "A 2000 Man", as a judge for
 Ten Years Ago In 2000...  (E)
Where were you in 2000? Write an essay to win big prizes!
#1700618 by Diane
. Thanks for entering!

In your essay, written for "Ten Years Ago in 2000" writing contest, we are introduced to a man whose life is a frustrating, with a failing marriage and a life just does not seem to be heading in a positive direction. But there was hope and promise of change for you in the year 2000, as the reader will learn as the story unfolds.

*Laugh**Smile**Cry**Delight*Rhythm, flow, style: The essay starts out fine with a few bumps along the way and then, I could see the story develop more as I reached the final half.


*Reading**Star*What I liked the most: What I enjoyed was how you shared with the reader your time of hurt and then the life changing events that led up to where you are today. I really enjoyed this line: "I realized that life is simple and that if you choose a life of happiness, you will find it". This was one of many lines that showed just much how your life had changed for the better, and as one of the readers, I could rejoice with you.

*Reading* What I liked the least: There were some paragraphs that could use use editing for me. For example, "I worried about her drinking and driving and would encourage her to stay with friends if she wasn’t sober enough to drive and while I was disappointed in her excessive drinking, I didn’t want her to get hurt or in trouble with the law so I took the high road." This could be broken up into two or three sentences so the ideas are easier to follow.

*Note1*Remarks: I enjoyed reading and reviewing your writing today. Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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113
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Kenzie

Hi! I am giving your romantic piece, "Yellow and Blue Makes Green", a review on because I saw it listed on a page and thought I had to review this one! What makes this piece so perfect was not the flowery words or lofty phrases you might use in a romantic piece. You chose not to do this but instead built your work on the years of maturation and experience to succinctly write state your knowledge in a way that many would appreciate!

*Reading**Star*What I loved: I loved how you defined in your writing,what you believed an "excellent marriage detailed and how it is instituted by the Creator". Strong words and a wonderful basis to live by. I also loved the final one-two punch of the line - "...colors are mixed forever and cannot be undone." Wow! It's a simple statement but the concept really gave me the chills *Starstruck*

*Reading**Star*What needs work: Nothing. I could not find an place that needed work.

*Note1*Remarks: Bravo to you for writing this prose and the accompanying work. This was an amazing piece and I thank you for sharing.

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Review of Bindings  
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi 🌕 HuntersMoon

Your entry, "Bindings" is being reviewed for the "Rising Stars Shining Brighter"  [E] contest for this month.

*Laugh**Smile**Cry**Delight*Rhythm, flow, style: In so many ways, this poem shows such tenderness towards the wonder of motherhood. The depths of this bind may are never known and your work glories in what we know and love.

*Reading**Star*What I liked the most: Any poem that celebrates the joys of motherhood I, too, must celebrate. And one that not only recognizes, but welcomes the life long connections, knowing that they all won't be joyful shows the maturity that many seek to avoid. Bravo!

*Reading* What I liked the least: There was only a line in the second stanza, third verse: "You were then within of me..." and I think it was a typo with the use of "then" but maybe you might want to check it out for sentence sense.

*Note1*Remarks: A very good entry for this month's contest and I do hope you continue to write works of this genre. Thank you for your entry!

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Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Robin:TheRhymeMaven

Your entry is being reviewed for the "Rising Stars Shining Brighter"  [E] contest for this month. Your introspective piece, "The Truth of Life" calls for mankind to remember that ancient man advanced not on science alone but by believing in something greater than they.

*Laugh**Smile**Cry**Delight*Rhythm, flow, style: The style is very teaching, structured and I feel a call for action on behalf of the reader. I think that you just may cause some to stop and think for a bit.

*Reading**Star*What I liked the most: I like the line, "For in the end, there’s but one scheme, allowing truth to reign supreme". I think that there is some merit to consider the world around us and not rely on science alone to guide us.

*Reading* What I liked the least: I enjoyed the entire piece so I have no suggestions for improvement.

*Note1*Remarks: Thank you for your entry and I encourage you to keep on writing!

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Review of Autumn Playground  
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi warriormom

Your entry is being reviewed for the "Rising Stars Shining Brighter"  [E] contest for this month. Your joyful, reminiscent poem, "Our Playground" is captures many childhood days and I know your readers can relate to it.

*Laugh**Smile**Cry**Delight*Rhythm, flow, style: The movement of the poem is light, happy, bounding through the lines. It stirs up memories that our daily grind often hides.

*Reading**Star*What I liked the most: I loved being reminded of my carefree days through your memories. When my biggest issue was whether to swing on the middle swing or watch the world beneath at the neighbor's tree house.

*Reading* What I liked the least: It's hard to mess with perfection...and memories, so I don't have any suggestions for this wonderful work.

*Note1*Remarks: Thank you for gracing us with this solid childhood memory entry. It was a joy to read and I do hope you will continue to submit for the contest.

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Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Oldwarrior

Your entry is being reviewed for the "Rising Stars Shining Brighter"  [E] contest for this month. Your patriotic work, "Warriors in the Sky" is a moving tribute to those who served in uniform alongside you, and are now at peace.

*Laugh**Smile**Cry**Delight*Rhythm, flow, style: Your work has such an honest feel to it; the writing is pure and unrepentant.

*Reading**Star*What I liked the most: What I loved is the emotion your poem stirs within those who read this work. The love, the loyalty and bonds of friendship that travel on even when life has ended is shown here. It is just a pleasure to read.

*Reading* What I liked the least: What can I say except that I only wish there were more words in this poem, that's all!

*Note1*Remarks: What an honor to rate and review your work for the contest. I only want to encourage to keep on writing and submitting your entries.

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Review of Feathers  
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi 🌕 HuntersMoon

Your entry is being reviewed for the "Rising Stars Shining Brighter"  [E] contest for this month. Your free form poem, "Feathers" is such a moving piece of love in the place where hope was needed the most.

*Laugh**Smile**Cry**Delight*Rhythm, flow, style: The movement of this piece is one of honest thoughts, emotional ties laid bare and of love like a salve upon her ruined heart. Its beauty lies in what is said in so few words.

*Reading**Star*What I liked the most: I loved the metaphors. I've never seen them used like this before and the truth in them felt so poignant, so relevant to your work.

*Reading* What I liked the least: How can I dislike something that was written so masterfully? I loved it all.

*Note1*Remarks: What a gift for you to share this piece with us for the contest. I do wish your work all the best and I do look forward to more writing from you.

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Review of Winter Comfort  
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi jaya

Your delightful poem, "Winter Comfort" is being reviewed for the "Rising Stars Shining Brighter"  [E] contest for October. Without further adieu, let the critique begin. This is a poem from a loving and hopeful parent who is looking to their son's homecoming with bated heart. It truly draws you in with its love.

*Laugh**Smile**Cry**Delight*Rhythm, flow, style: There is such a nice movement to your poem. I've rarely felt winter feel so warm and cozy as it did in your poem.

*Reading**Star*What I liked the most: The thing that caught me is that you wrote such a lovely piece about your child. Awww! That is a plus, no matter what.

*Reading* What I liked the least: I'll first say it's not what I liked the least but what I think might "fit" better. The line that says, "Winter takes on a splendid form." sounds out of place there and my recommendation is to move it to the end. You are rejoicing in this time of cold and bitterness because your son, who is "your Sun" is returning and I think it might fit better at the end and not in the midst. That's all.

*Note1*Remarks: I thoroughly enjoyed your work and think that it is a timely piece with so many of our young men and women overseas, far away from those who miss them the most. I do wish you all the best in the contest and please keep pursuing your dream.

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Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Renee Kimberly Root

Your touching tribute, "Pastor Joyce Dreiman Home with the Lord" is a recipient of a Simply Positive Newbie review.

*Laugh**Smile**Cry**Delight*Rhythm, flow, style: The flow of the story begins clearly, and the first paragraph invites the reader to learn more about the reasoning behind your tribute and subsequent conclusions on grief. The ideas are clearly presented and your beliefs are strongly displayed.

*Reading**Star*What I loved: What I enjoyed is how you not only backed up your ideas with a clear example of your foundations but you supported by the journey of Pastor Joyce Dreiman. It made your work all the more believable.

*Reading**Star*What needs work: For me, the second paragraph really belongs at the end because it serves to wrap ideas presented in the text. Also, when you reference Bible passages, and quote any text, such as: "Behold, I will shew you a mystery..." 1 Cor. 15:51 (KJV), it is best to make sure you list the correct text entry. You listed it as 1 Cor. 15:51-58 but you ended at vs. 54. And if you want the reader to understand that there is continuation of text, you should use "..." marks to illustrate this.


*Note1*Remarks: This is both an encouraging tribute and useful tool for helping others who lose their loved ones with the ideas you presented. I am sure your Mother is proud of this writing!

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Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Lynn ,

Your poem, "Walking, Ticking Time Bombs" is a recipient of a Simply Positive Newbie review.

*Laugh**Smile**Cry**Delight*Rhythm, flow, style: The flow of the poem started strongly but did end with the power it began with, for me. I think that there was a message for the reader but I would make sure the idea is clearly defined as you from start to finish.

*Reading**Star*What I loved: The passion in your tone. I think you wrote about something that was important to you. It was something that you struggled with and want to help others understand.

*Reading**Star*What needs work: What I think needs work is making sure you capitalize at the beginning of the stanzas, avoid using unnecessary punctuation, such as, the commas to extend the sentence(s) and the semi-colon in the first sentence of the last paragraph.

*Note1*Remarks: I would keep on writing these types of poems and I hope to see more work from you in the future.

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Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi SeaOfGrace

You are a recipient of a Simply Positive Newbie review for your dark poem, "Darkness of the Night."

*Laugh**Smile**Cry**Delight*Rhythm, flow, style: Your poem flows with dark fluid movements as you lead your reader down this desolate path. You continue to hit with a solemn explanation of your life in this dark realm and it all feels very morbid.

*Reading**Star*What I loved: What I think is good about this work is that you are not put off from delving into a dark place and getting lost there. I have to appreciate the effort put into this piece.

*Reading**Star*What needs work: The poem had a few punctuation errors that are easy to correct. For line 11, there is a semi-colon at the end when it should be a period and a few commas scattered throughout that really should just be periods. It's not a huge matter but this will help to complete the poem.


*Note1*Remarks: I enjoyed this work and hope that you will continue to explore more themes of this type for your future writings.

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Review of Untitled Poem 1  
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Jinx

You work, "Untitled Poem 1" is the recipient of a "Simply Positive Newbie" review this week.

*Laugh**Smile**Cry**Delight*Rhythm, flow, style: Hmm, interesting poem that pulls no punches in the idea that death is imminent for us all. I liked how you maintained your rhyming scheme throughout the work, no matter how macabre the idea behind it.

*Reading**Star*What I loved: What I loved is this poem is a take it or leave it piece due to the theme. You seem to embrace your own mortality in a different sense that some readers may adhere to, while it might put others off. One way or the other, it's an interesting work.

*Reading**Star*What needs work: The only thing that I saw is that you don't end your sentences with some form of punctuation. You should, even if it is poetry, and I know on a personal level because I used to think I didn't need to use it either.

*Note1*Remarks: I enjoyed your poem and hope that you will continue to document the good ideas that come to you in your sleep. I do wish you the best in your writing!

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Review of Don't Worry Mom  
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi ToddF

This review is given on behalf of the "Simply Positive Newbie"review group and it is for your poem, "Don't Worry Mom".

*Laugh**Smile**Cry**Delight*Rhythm, flow, style: This is a succinctly written, pointed bit of writing that captures so much in just a few words. I thought it was just wonderful because it has feel that your readers will connect to.

*Reading**Star*What I loved: You brought a sense of emotion because how many mothers have heard those words, and know it was during some trying time or another? It really struck me that you caught my attention on many levels without embellishment; that is from deft writing and attention to the finer points of writing.

*Reading**Star*What needs work: I didn't see anything that I felt could use work in this poem. I only hope that what comes from this is more writing from you.

*Note1*Remarks: I enjoyed reviewing your poem and hope that you will continue in this genre. It was a pleasure to read and review!

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125
Review of Promise Me  
Review by Happy Adore♥
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Sweet Ry

This review is done on behalf of the "Simply Positive Newbie" review group and I will review your work titled, "Promise Me".

*Laugh**Smile**Cry**Delight*Rhythm, flow, style: The song tends to grab the reader right away, and it definitely hits some high points with the chorus. I thought it flowed well, wasn't choppy and an interesting love song.

*Reading**Star*What I loved: The seventh paragraph that begins with: "I can barely breathe" and it repeats itself I thought was awesome.

*Reading**Star*What needs work: There were a few misspelled words here and there, for example, in verse two, last sentence down, it says: "I will always love you...capital Oh" to start the next word is incorrect and the seventh paragraph that talks about not breathing, the word should have an "e" on the end of breath. If it is spelled without the "e" on the end, it is breath, not breathe. But that was about all I saw and that is good for a new writing.

*Note1*Remarks: I enjoyed reviewing your song, think that it has some good potential and wish you the best in your songwriting. :D

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