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76
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Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating Author IconMail Icon

This is a sitewide random review for your poem, "The Impetus for Creation" and I hope it is either helpful or creates laughter, one or the other, I'd be happy to know this took place when you opened and read it. Okay, without all of this adieu, let's move on to the review.


Impression: Wow! This poem really strives to go deep in the outer limits in its thought provocation and word arrangement. I really was very pleased to make it to its ending and still have my thinking intact. I liked it, very much. Though I have a disagreement on the Creation of the universe , outside of this poem, I think the thought inducements work wonderfully well. I felt as if I could ramble further but unless it was to help or compliment, I need to move on.

*Heart* What I loved: I loved how you bounced various word meanings, simply and skillfully, off one another in this melody of poetic dance. What a pleasure to read this work.

*Leafr* What needs work: Nothing at all needs work within this piece.


*Note1*Final thoughts: I truly am happy that I found this poem today and was able to provide it with a rate and review. Thank you so much for sharing this writing with us all.


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77
77
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Noticing Newbies Committee  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi AbbyOlson Author IconMail Icon

This review is for your flash fiction challenge story, "The Mansion in the Woods" and I hope this review is somewhat helpful or enlightening. Probably not, but I still hope so!

Impression: This story involves a young girl and a young boy who decide to visit a reputed haunted mansion in the woods and within minutes of their arrival, they are frightened up out of the mansion. It was according to the challenge of writing about a old mansion from what I could surmise but as a piece of writing, it was decidedly met the challenge. But that is all from what I read.

*Heart* What I loved: When I left this writing, I was pretty much done because there wasn't much to it. Maybe that was all that was required but then it will leave readers wondering and using conjecture to answer unanswered questions. So, sadly, I didn't leave it feeling good either.

*Leafr* What needs work: I'm sure that you fulfilled all the requirements of the entry for the flash fiction entry but it just felt like it was the beginning of a larger story. Maybe it is. I don't know and I'm not telling you to write one.

*Note1*Final thoughts: So, I thought your writing really hit the mark for the flash fiction entry in telling of the trip two teens made to a mansion in the woods. Great job in that area and congrats on your entry!

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78
78
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Ruth E Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry,"I'm Sorry I Didn't Take Action", as a judge for
 
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest Open in new Window. [ASR]
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: This is a solid essay type entry in an apologetic yet purposeful style of writing. The main voice, a woman known as Ruth, is a youth club volunteer/site leader who wrote a tearful confession of non-action that will only be action going forward to her young club attendees. This was more of a story of a woman who lived in a world where she rarely got to rub shoulders with those who could affect legislation for the youth clubs, and she missed her shot by choosing to be silent in a time when silence was not needed. I liked the purposefulness of the story and thought it was well though through.


What I liked most: What I liked was the sense of accountability and responsibility she felt towards these children who came to the center for respite. I felt that she probably will speak to them when she the chance arrives and she'd really let them know what is wrong and what can be done to improve the situation.
What I liked least:

Your spelling and grammar: There were some iffy moments throughout the piece that if it is edited for spelling, punctuation and sentence sense, it will be an easy fix.

Closing thoughts: This was a good writing about a person who didn't the situation right, though they knew it was needful but they moved on from it with a renewed sense of purpose. Thought this was a solid entry for the contest!

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.
Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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79
79
Review of Daring Greatly  Open in new Window.
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi debmiller1 Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry, "Daring Greatly", as a judge for
 
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest Open in new Window. [ASR]
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: I am just a great admirer of Western fiction or non-fiction because when I read it, I realize that I am not that type of person at all. I do wish I were:fearless, adventurous, willing to go into unknown territory, etc. No, that's not me, but I love reading Western themed stories and most, like yours, do not disappoint. It's the story of a young child of 14, which was old in that time, was left to care for their five other siblings. Father got hurt on the Oregon trail, Mother had died along on the journey so it was up to them to carry on to the "Promised land." The story, I felt utilized the quotation prompt quite well as it was all grit if you successfully made it through those mountains and trails to your destination. Very nice start to an interesting Western story about bravery and resilience.

What I liked most: I really liked the story content and the tension involved when the kids lost their father, who lay dying for days before expiring in night. What is always captured my attention is that many of these stories are drawn from real life adventures and that is awesome! This story really engaged me till the end, making me want more of this Daring adventures.

What I liked least: As usual, when I get involved in a story, I am sad to see it end so I hope there will be more of the adventures of this young lad's quest to find gold in California.

Your spelling and grammar: There was nothing to highlight in the writing.

Closing thoughts: I think you wanted to write a story for the contest but what I hope will happen is that you keep on writing about this character and the siblings trials on the Oregon Trail and the lad who is heading to California...we want to know more about his too! You seem to have started something that I hope you will finish with more writing. Good luck in the contest!

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.
Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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80
80
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi The Sun SmilesOn Small Valley Author IconMail Icon }


I am reviewing your entry, "A Desperate Contestant", as a judge for
 
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest Open in new Window. [ASR]
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: This was a short and heartwarming story of a young man who for as long as he remembered, lost out in an important writing contest. The story alludes to the idea his mother, his support, is not there with him through this struggle, and he feels blocked on all sides. This story made a great use of the quotation prompt and aspired to build the story and theme around the prompt. It shows throughout and makes this a stellar entry.

What I liked most: I liked how the writer melded the quotation prompt into the storyline and it never felt forced, but flowed naturally.

What I liked least: I always tend to want more writing when stories are interesting and with this one, I liked least that it was so short. I do hope you add more content to this entry.

Your spelling and grammar: There were some spots in the story where there was questionable use of some words, punctuation and the making up of a word reechoed? to make it fit, I'm not sure was a good move. However, I'm just pointing out that you might go back through your entry, recheck the document for the areas I stated and you will be good to go!

Closing thoughts: What a light hearted entry that started out with the main character on the losing side and what a turn of events as the story progresses...A fun reading and hope to see more work from you.

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.
Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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81
81
Review of Timid souls  Open in new Window.
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Angustia Author IconMail Icon }


I am reviewing your entry, "Timid Souls", as a judge for
 
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest Open in new Window. [ASR]
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: Oh, what a bit of a rollercoaster mind trip you take us on with your story based on the quotation prompt and you definitely stay within the parameters for this entry. It is a story with the curiously odd main character named Li who spends time with an aunt with money but whose home is infested with bugs. I thought the bugs might be the timid souls the writer hinted at since they were mentioned so early in the story, but since have found they are not...oops! The story is mostly built around this character, her aunt, and the wild humans who are hunted and killed onscreen for viewing entertainment since the climate catastrophe that sent millions of humans who didn't work or who couldn't recover from the disaster outside of the protected limits of American cities and the explorers, the normal humans who were the accepted side were the hunters for televised entertainment. It's pretty trippy reading and I thought the text was paced good for enjoyment.


What I liked most: This was a good story with a dark element to it. The killing of humans who haven't conformed, oh, makes for a good story and this is one of them.

What I liked least: I hated that the story..I wanted to know more about this struggle between the wild humans and the hunters and felt like I won't.

Your spelling and grammar: There were no issues in this area for this story.


Closing thoughts: Ooo, very good story that made me glad I'm here under the calm times. And glad that this is a writing of fiction.


I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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82
82
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Author Ed Anderson Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry, "The Inheritance Game", as a judge for
 
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest Open in new Window. [ASR]
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: This little story was more of a sexual romp with the players all trying to discover who is going to sleep with who than uncovering who murdered the rich millionaire. It starts out from with a group of seemingly random people who each receive a postcard with their name and directions to help solve the murder of a rich man and whoever solves the murder will receive $50 million dollars. It ends with most of the characters sexually involved with one another, and though we find out who killed the rich man, it didn't read like the header promised. It fell a bit flat for me, as well as, not really keeping with the quotation prompt content/idea showing a someone struggling through or has struggled through to achieve the dream. But this are just my thoughts and my view of this story.


What I liked most: I think what I liked most was when the story opened and the main character, Jacob(?) received his postcard and it looked as if we were moving onto a rag to riches kind of story. It felt hopeful towards that idea, in the beginning.

What I liked least: For me, I liked least when the story deviated from what it initially showed might be the idea/thought process to a soft porn romp which really didn't seem to fit for this contest, in my opinion.

Your spelling and grammar: There were no spelling or grammar errors in the writing, so yay there!

Closing thoughts: A few parts looked hopeful, for a short part of the writing but the story diverted and went a different path that wasn't in line with showing the content of the quotation prompt for me. Keep on writing and getting your work out there.


I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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83
83
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi PureSciFi Author IconMail Icon }


I am reviewing your entry, "SpacePlanet Tonkim", as a judge for
 
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest Open in new Window. [ASR]
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: This sci-fi story of a traveling SpacePlanet of Tonkims led by their Leader, Dimcea, who is a flawed alien and keeps as her 2nd in command, another alien named Kallic. The story is mainly about how this Dimcea no longer is loved by the citizens and many want her dead. She plans to do the yearly state of the SpacePlanet meeting but her 2nd warns her to drop the part about a force field. She refuses to and there the drama begins. There's not much action, mainly dialogue and a surprising ending to wrap it all up. I thought this story utilized much of the quotation prompt idea as the basis and it helped to drive the content.



What I liked most: What I liked the most about the story was the surprise ending. It worked well and brought the whole idea around circle. Thought it worked well.

What I liked least: I didn't see anything that I disliked about the story.

Your spelling and grammar: I did not see any spelling or grammar issues in this story.


Closing thoughts: Sometimes it pays to listen to the people in your employ; they can help you and possibly keep you alive. This seems to be the idea in this story. Don't get too big to listen cause you might miss out on the warning!


I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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84
84
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Christopher Roy Denton Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry, "The Novice Vampire Hunter", as a judge for
 
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest Open in new Window. [ASR]
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: What a fun little story with complete with a soldier named Jeremy, the local magistrate Stephen and some stories of the local farmer's husband with bit marks on his neck. The two main characters of Jeremy and Stephen, might they be called Laurel and Hardy(?) in their approach to investigating and nabbing a vampire with all the expertise of the Keystone coppers, set out to lie in wait for the vampiress that is hunting in their neck of the woods. Jeremy spies a breathtaking damsel, replete with all the entrapments needed to snag anyone she pleased, and is immediately caught by her spell. They hunt for her, they find her, one of them gets hurt in the process and a funny turn of events happens to make this a happy ending. Now, I did try to find how this tied in with the quotation prompt and I think it lightly tied some points, but just enough to touch on the meaning of the prompt. This story was plenty entertaining and made me chuckle in some parts, so that's good for me.

What I liked most: I liked the part where they go into the crypt and search and find where the vampiress is sleeping, and surprise, she isn't sleeping! That would be more than a bit of a surprise for me and I thought it worked for the story content.

What I liked least: There was nothing that I disliked about this story.

Your spelling and grammar: Happily, I can say that there were no spelling or grammar errors in this story.


Closing thoughts: It makes me glad that we don't actually live with vampires but if we did, we I'd think these two would make a good team to help rid or introduce new vampires into the world, whatever works. Again, I thought your story was a jolly fun romp and I hope to read more work from you.


I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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85
85
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi sindbad Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry, "Information Warfare", as a judge for
 
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest Open in new Window. [ASR]
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: Wow! This story of how Information Warfare, not the actual warfare, is the problem in this war game, is really strong in setting up your argument for change. I knew we were in for some tense passionate writing when I read the words, "We are killing terrorists. Not terrorism." those words smacked me across my eye screen and brought my thoughts to attention. For this story, which is really more of an editorial than story, the writer discusses how the social media technology has changed the face of this information warfare, broadening and widening its expanse and its reach. This is content dense so I am not going to go through line by line, but this is a must read if you want to learn more about what's taking place and some suggestions for the best military to get involved in the fight. I thought this story lightly touched on the quotation prompt in that in discussing various situations where such mettle is shown, this met the basics for use of the quotation prompt and it works for this content.


What I liked most: This editorial is content dense and though I need more time to absorb all that I read, I like that you provided this for the entry. It shows your dedication and thought process in story writing.

What I liked least: I did not have anything that I disliked about this story.

Your spelling and grammar: Happily, I can say that I did not find any spelling or grammar errors in this writing.


Closing thoughts: Some writings work when they hit you with as much content as this story chose to do, and some others do not. Fortunately for you, this worked as a editorial piece filled with interesting supported content for the reader to peruse. Your writing was so informational...thank you for this content.

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.
Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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86
86
Review of Singularity  Open in new Window.
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry, "Singularity", as a judge for
 
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest Open in new Window. [ASR]
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: The sci-fi feel is felt as I tread through the words on the page and then my thoughts are opened to the lyrical mood as the story continues with the characters of Tamor and Davi, two humans in the far off distant future where the machines took over the Earth, and relegated the humans back to the stone age. The story moves along in a well paced manner and is interesting with new words like singularity used both as the title and within the text for further teaching moments. Man is basically scampering and scraping along to survive and it nearly seems all manner of writings have been destroyed, that is, until, Davi finds an important clue to the humans "regrowing their teeth." That would be a sad state of affairs if all the humans no longer grew their teeth? All food is gummed, regardless of age? A most frightening place to be and live, so it was an important find for all of mankind!


What I liked most: I liked the mood and movement of the story and the post apocalyptic feel to it, especially one I'd not read before where man no longer has teeth or can grow them. Yes, this was a most interesting angle to add to this story.

What I liked least: There was nothing that I disliked about this story.

Your spelling and grammar: There were no spelling or grammar issues in this story

Closing thoughts: Most post apocalyptic stories never use this angle of the singularity causing the end of life as we know it but it felt like a fresh twist that was refreshing and fun to read.

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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87
87
Review of Rosary peas  Open in new Window.
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Latha K Chirayil Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry, "Rosary Peas", as a judge for
 
Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest Open in new Window. [ASR]
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: What a gem of a story we have in this little tale called "Rosary Peas", which for those who scratched their heads at the name, it's a poisonous flowering bean plant that grows in tropical locations. Now, that we got the housekeeping out of the way, we can talk about the story. It's the story of a boy who grows into a man really following and learning from his grandfather's instruction more than his parents, specifically his father. It lightly touches on the quotation prompt but it's influence is still felt throughout the story. I felt involved in the story and wanted to know more after it ended. Very good job getting the reader invested!

What I liked most: I liked the dynamics between the grandson and his grandfather. It felt like a powerful magnet that helped to drive the momentum of the story.

What I liked least: I really did not find anything that I disliked about the story and so cannot say that I disliked anything.

Your spelling and grammar: I did not find any misspelled words or punctuation errors.


Closing thoughts: What a thoughtful and pleasant story involving a poisonous plant that wasn't part of the story in a negative way but used more to show a lesson that you can take away after reading. Very interesting and I enjoy learning something new from my readings, and I did just that today!

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.

Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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88
88
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Mary Ann MCPhedran Author IconMail Icon

This review is for your mysteriously intriguing poem titled, "Come with Me Beneath the Sea" which speaks of wondrous sights all held within the ocean depths. It feels like a beautiful poetry for readers of all ages even though the young might not follow the mystery of the title.

Impression: The language used is lovely and lyrical even with spatial and colors given to fill the mind with delight in musing on this idea. It is an enjoyable and though quite flowing, it does not take up much space to say so much.

*Heart* What I loved: I loved the movement and fluidity of this poetry. You know you're reading a good writing when you find yourself not wanting to stop, and that's how I felt about this piece.


*Leafr* What needs work: I found nothing that needed work.


*Note1*Final thoughts: What a fantastically lovely writing that talks about traveling beneath the sea to enjoy the wonders beneath! Wow, sounds like a trip I'd love to be a part of.

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89
89
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi LadyLeo Author IconMail Icon

This review is for your beautiful piece titled, "Raindrops and Bliss", a sweet serenade to a lovely rainy day. It is a sweetly written poem that captures the essence and movement of this rainy day. A lot of love went into this writing and it shows.

Impression: When I read this poem, I was immediately drawn into this peaceful place with the feel of the opening lines, and the nearly visual cues given within. It has great rhythm and you can almost find yourself there with the author as you read this poem. Lovely work!

*Heart* What I loved: I thought this poem was blissful and full of life, even through the rain, this was felt throughout this piece. There wasn't a part that I did not enjoy and that made me happy.


*Leafr* What needs work: Nothing in this writing needs work.


*Note1*Final thoughts: I love reading well written poetry and this writing was just a pleasure to read and review! Thank you for this opportunity to share in your time, on the porch, watching the rain fall.

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90
90
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Tim Chiu Author IconMail Icon

This review is for your your poem, " Turning a New Leaf" and it is a warm hearted poem with some bitter parts sprinkled inside.


Impression: This work spoke to me of the important things in life, your loved ones (in this instance, a treasured child) who unknowingly helps get you through those trying spots in your life. This rings true for many of us to focus on the important things, you know, don't sweat the small stuff, and then our path will stay clear.

*Heart* What I loved: I loved the ending as you reflected on your child and the love you felt towards her shined through.



*Leafr* What needs work: The lines ending with the (...) just doesn't feel right. I know you are trying to show continuation but it's not proper to end them like this. Outside of this small spot, I did not see anything else that needed work.


*Note1*Final thoughts: I would encourage you to keep your eyes forward, to love that child of yours with all your heart and to keep on writing! Loved this piece and thank you for the opportunity to read your writing today.


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91
91
Review of Cyber Bullying  Open in new Window.
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Lou-Here By His Grace Author IconMail Icon


Impression: This review is for the poetic piece called, "Cyber Bullying" which takes a stab at the issue of bullying now that it has reached into the cyber-world. Your writing is unapologetic as it is brutal in its honesty, which is needed terribly in this world today. Not harsh harmful lies but truth is missing and this poem takes a gander at it.

I felt this piece more fully due to the relevance in my own life of bullying, not the cyber type, but this has gone on too long and is at epidemic levels. Your work I hope opens a few eyes to this... .

*Heart* What I loved: The thing I loved about this piece was the unapologetic way in which the writing was presented. This is not a fluff issue, nor does it deserve a fluff piece so it isn't felt as strongly as it is needed. The poem is so dark, tragic and yet, this is necessary. Great work with a terribly emotional issue.


*Leafr* What needs work: I am glad to say that NOTHING needs work in this writing. You did an excellent job today with this piece.


*Note1*Final thoughts: There is so much work to do to stop this in the world but if we show them how harmful this is, that it isn't something you return from, the finality of suicide, the brutality of bullying, then maybe, just maybe it will end. Again, great job with a very harsh issue.


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
92
92
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Graham B. Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry as a judge for
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest Open in new Window. [E]
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: I felt this was solidly laid out story of a lawman who is out looking for a fugitive that got away from him. He never could let it rest and he felt pressed that justice must be served, in any way possible, only to learn that sometimes justice is to let sleeping dogs lie. I really liked reading this story and was rooting for the fugitive (again!) and was satisfied with the ending. It all pulled together in a cohesive and realistic way.

Your spelling and grammar: I'm happy to say that I noticed nothing in the area of spelling or grammar and was pleased to see your use of grammar structure for the time period.

What I liked most: The ending made me quite happy and I thought justice was really served in the way the lawman left the secret he'd unearthed alone.

What I liked least: As usual, I wanted more story and wished to see more text about these characters.


An editing suggestions: none.


I have always enjoyed this genre and love it when the writing stands true to the era it is from. You have done this in this wonderful story!

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.
Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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93
93
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi PureSciFiPlus Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry as a judge for
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest Open in new Window. [E]
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: For me, this story did not have a happy future regardless of what was written. It was about a brother and sister who turned to crime to exact revenge against a wealthy town family who killed their kin while they were out from their home. They start stealing items but specifically the guns and ammo to rain down revenge on these people. It felt forlorn because these weren't just angry kinfolk but these were kids, young kids, dealt a very bad hand in the end. How could they win with these kinds of odds against them? They won't but they will get revenge and take as many of the people who stole their parents ,brothers, and sisters away from them. So from that angle, it worked. But I only felt sadness in the end. Good job with a difficult subject.

Your spelling and grammar: I did not see any spelling or grammar issues in your story so that's a good thing.

What I liked most: I liked that they were tireless in their pursuit and did do hurt to the people who killed their family, so that made me feel better about reading it.

What I liked least: Well, I usually do not like the story to end but was glad that their story ended in them taking out so many people, though I dislike sad endings. You did a good job with it.


An editing suggestions: none.


Closing thoughts: You have to have your sad westerns otherwise it wouldn't be an accurate picture of the old West which in many ways was heartless and mean. You balanced it by giving the kids the upper hand and for that, I could smile sadly.

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.
Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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94
94
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi Myles Abroad Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry as a judge for
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest Open in new Window. [E]
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: This story of a man who puts his life, nearly, and the life of his wife on the line to speak the truth in a town where the richest cattleman is the dirtiest and deadly, rang true to me as a situation I am sure existed in this era. The tension felt crazy high as I read through this story of this man who didn't want the lives of two fellow townspeople wiped in mud and disgraced over money and land. Really nice job with this story.

Your spelling and grammar: I am happy to say that I did not find any spelling or grammar errors in the story.

What I liked most: I was happy to read another story of the hard, treacherous times of the Western era. This story stuck to the mood and tone necessary for the genre used and I liked it.

What I liked least: This story works as a story of corruption but it lacked the grammar structure and colloquialism of these Western areas. I read many Westerns recently and there is a certain type of language used that made this story less gritty than it could be, in my opinion.

An editing suggestions: none.

Another good Western told in tone of the times, very good to read!

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.
Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
95
95
Review of Found out  Open in new Window.
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Quick-Quill Author IconMail Icon

I am reviewing your entry as a judge for
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest Open in new Window. [E]
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: The story of a young woman of Asian ancestry who strikes on her own in a growing Western town to write articles, or she wanted to be a reporter, kept my interest for a happy ending for the main character. There are always lies, and the young man who helped her had ulterior motives for his assistance. It seemed like this story was a lead in to the rest of this character, and her paramour, Roy, story and possible relationship. The tension was high and unfortunately, for me, it felt rushed for the word limit but I think you did well with the words you were able to use.

Your spelling and grammar: There were just this one place where the sentence could use a semi colon, in my opinion, since they both stand alone as a separate sentences.

She couldn't handle it, she had to hide. This was my only suggestion in this area; the rest is pretty well laid out.

What I liked most: I liked your use of colloquialism and grammar structure of the time. It feels more believable when the words are written this way.

What I liked least: I think that I wanted to know more about this character, Suzanne, and I wished for more text about her.

An editing suggestions: none.



I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.
Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
96
96
Review of The Marshal  Open in new Window.
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi mmmpty


I am reviewing your entry as a judge for
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest Open in new Window. [E]
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: This story read quite taut as the tension was thick in the air as I read through about this young man who was hiding out from the lawman and the young lass who fell under his spell. Very solid entry for the Western genre complete with the grammar structure and colloquialism of that time. It was a very engrossing read and I found myself hoping the guy who the Marshall was after would get away but sadly, it wasn't in the cards for him that day. A very enjoyable and engaging Western I'd read again and again.

Your spelling and grammar: I am happy to say there were no spelling or grammatical errors to report for your entry.

What I liked most: I really liked the dynamics between the Marshall and this young man who he is chasing. It is liked they are locked in some morbid dance and there are no winners in the end.

What I liked least: I wished there were more story for me to read. *Smile*


An editing suggestions: none.



I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.
Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
97
97
Review of We'll Rise Up  Open in new Window.
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Winnie Kay Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry "We'll Rise Up" as a judge for
 
Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest Open in new Window. [E]
Use the music provided to inspire your writing!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: This is a strong story that makes great use of the audio prompt for this month. The character development is well thought out, the story layout flows well and this makes sense within this framework. The main character, young Tillie is a strong willed and angry young girl who lives on a plantation in the South who vows revenge on the man who just beat her father in front of her eyes. There is resolution for her through the curse placed on anyone who hurts a family member, and she finds peace in this new found knowledge. I thoroughly enjoyed this story!

Your spelling and grammar: There were no spelling or grammatical errors to report which always makes me happy. *Smile*

What I liked most: Well, there are so many things to like in this story. A slave gets vindicated the day after a beating, a wise and loving grandma to advise the family, a dad who is there for and loves his child, and the list could just go on!

What I liked least: There was nothing that I found to dislike about this story.


Suggestions: No suggestions needed.

An editing suggestions: none.


Closing thoughts: What a joy to read a story with such strong characters who just liven up the page with their intensity and the dialogue, it really keeps you engaged and invested in their future endeavors. I know this is a short story for the monthly prompt but I would love to see more from this family in some of your future writings. This was a joy and privilege to read this story today!

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.
Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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98
98
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi brom21 Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry, "The Risen Uniter", as a judge for
 
Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest Open in new Window. [E]
Use the music provided to inspire your writing!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: This story mixes fantasy and religious themes beautifully into a working story theme. There are two main characters. Prince Cronus and King Murian in this story and the main character, Prince Cronus has this strong belief in God and his power to unite the warring kingdoms into a state of peace. His father tells him this is foolishness to believe but Prince Cronus won't falter in this belief. I think this story managed to make me care about the warring kingdoms and the quest for peace through a steady and forward moving story style. This helped keep me engaged in the story.

Your spelling and grammar: No spelling or grammar issue were found in this story.

What I liked most: I liked when the Prince received the visit from the Heavenly visitor with the sword. This is where the story shifted and the Prince had the power to unite all of the kingdoms in peace. I love reading about the power of faith, faith that does not waver but is strong and impacts others for change.

What I liked least: There was nothing to dislike within this story.


Suggestions: None.

An editing suggestions: none.


Closing thoughts: I was pleasantly surprised with this story. I really enjoyed the story development, the movement and dialogue which served to keep me interested. What a fantastic thought of a world with peace, and no more war anywhere. Don't know if we'll ever see this in our lives but it is good to read about it.

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.
Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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99
99
Review of Miguel's Duty  Open in new Window.
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Christopher Roy Denton Author IconMail Icon }


I am reviewing your entry, "Miguel's Duty", as a judge for
 
Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest Open in new Window. [E]
Use the music provided to inspire your writing!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: This story of a young Hispanic Secret Service agent who is sworn to protect a President who is personally does not agree with is a very powerful story of honor, duty and the daughter he wants to continue to make proud. It travels over the issue of duty over personal opinion, even though some of these opinions are quite strong. There was emotion and tension within this story that it kept me on the edge of my seat. Great job with pulling this together.

Your spelling and grammar: There were no spelling or grammar issues with this story.

What I liked most: The main character is a strong proud Hispanic man with a delightful elementary aged child who loves the fact that his job is protecting the President. This man often fights within himself whether he should just simply step aside when the enemy shows but his duty to the Constitution keep his mind in check for another day. This is laid out throughout this story, the struggle, and the daily battle to stay the course. I thought this was well laid out.

What I liked least: There was nothing to dislike in this story.


Suggestions: None.

An editing suggestions: none.


Closing thoughts: What a fantastic job you did with your interpretation of the story prompt and showing the battle that is often fought when opposing sides are employed together. I thought his focus on his child for strength really was a used well and the story felt balanced. This was an engaging and solid story for so many to read and enjoy.


I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.
Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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100
100
Review of Rise Up  Open in new Window.
Review by Adore lol♥ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Circle of Sisters  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi PureSciFi Author IconMail Icon


I am reviewing your entry, "Rise Up", as a judge for
 
Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest Open in new Window. [E]
Use the music provided to inspire your writing!
by Writing.Com Support Author Icon
. Thanks for entering!


My overall opinion: This interstellar tale of a female character and four younger kidlings all called Zarrian kind of doesn't get a chance to draw the reader into the story before most of the characters are killed in a spaceship crash. I feel like I am observing this, unfeeling like, because I did not get to meet them. The story seems base d around the older character named Stacce. She doesn't draw me in nor make me feel concerned about being stuck out on some distant planet in space. This is not a good thing because if I am not concerned, then I will not probably read more, in my opinion. The story tends to drag but there is hope if the layout and the content is revisited.

Your spelling and grammar: No spelling or grammar issues were found.

What I liked most: I liked the three eyed robot character and was saddened to learn he'd been killed off early on in the story. I think the characer Stacce needs a sidekick to help the story along.

What I liked least: For me, more could have been done with the song prompt for the story integration. The mention of the words, Rise Up, just feels like a slight but I think more thought could have gone into making the song fit, in my opinion.


Suggestions: I'm not sure of the paragraph but a sentence has a typo in it:...am all along on this planet now. This is a simple fix that is easy to correct.

An editing suggestions: none.


Closing thoughts: Nice work on your entry for the Rise Up audio prompt and I hope you take some of my critique in consideration.


I enjoyed reading and reviewing your work today. Take or leave what you wish. Keep writing.
Thanks for your entry and best wishes in the contest.

silent adore

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