This is HILARIOUS! A tale of woe similar to the drunk driver swerving because he kept seeing a tree "jump" out at him. The "tree" was a pine air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror. I've heard this joke before, but your telling is well-written. I love your rhymes. You managed to find a rhyme for "oblique". The opening stanza really sets the tone and explains the befuddled state of the hapless husband. I really laughed at the final two stanzas. Imagine being quick-witted enough , despite a hangover, to deliver a polite apology and an abject admission of "sin".
Hello! It is wonderful to have spring back! I like this poem. It does seem as if two titans are battling for control of our weather. Spring is an iffy season; very unpredictable. Your rhyming is good. Your meter is not consistent, but this is not too big of an issue. I cannot fault your spelling.
HELLO! This is a very well-written and crafted piece of poetry. Grief is a powerful emotion. It can be all-consuming. Memories both hurt and heal. "Cold" is an apt word/imagery for death and grief.
Hello! Well, you certainly are blunt. Obviously, you rail against academia. I like your use of the word "regurgitate". I can't say that I've ever read that word used in a piece of poetry before, and spelled correctly, too. You actually spell and use your words well. You are familiar with our complicated language, English. Yes, the university study of this subject does involve getting to know and perhaps, "emulate", the "masters". Unfortunately, many people do not appreciate creativity or fresh-thinking. I remember essay writing. What cheek you have to rhyme "Poe" with "2.0".
Hello! What a beautiful and haunting poem you have composed. You describe sorrow and grief so chillingly. I commend you for your spelling; too many writers think it unimportant.
Hello! Wow, what a powerful piece of writing! I like the comparison of addiction to waiting for the next wave to hit. It's a vicious circle, but the idea of being pummeled by a rogue wave is frightening. Like a wave, the urges are uncontrollable. This is some solid writing. Yes, there should be more! There are a few misspellings. "Seventh call, no one answered." "She begins to breathe." I would suggest the use of more commas.
Hello! I was intrigued by the title of your piece of writing. Life does seem to occur in blurred motion. You are describing fleeting moments; over and finished far too quickly. Your message is a powerful one. We do not have time for regrets. Live life well. I cannot fault your spelling or punctuation.
Hello! Usually, I review short stories or poetry. This is a very short piece of writing and it's not a tale of some kind. This is an inspirational message. Okay, your spelling is good. I agree, time and how you choose to share it, is important.
Hello ! You certainly write with clarity and conviction. I like that you compared penance to a shadow; neither can be avoided. Your spelling seems to be impeccable. It's not "my" Canadian spelling, but I realize the British and the Americans have their own standards!
Hi! I was intrigued by the title of your poem. You have composed some lovely descriptive passages here. I must admit that I find the first two stanzas awkward. The grammar seems to be lacking. The second two stanzas are better written. You describe being in love very well here. I like the idea of "a joint sky".
Hello! You have captured a rhyme here. I have seen many a child cradling a beloved stuffed animal, and many of them do it to self-soothe. I understand the beginning of this poem, but I don't "get" the final section with the colour pink. The rhythm is a little rough; each line is a different syllable length.
I like your setting and characters. This reads like a movie script. The dialogue between Gampa and Jack is cute and believable. Certainly, a baby can be a non-judgmental listener.
Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! {/center{ Hello! This is an incredible piece of writing and a heartfelt ode to your wife. You've captured the special closeness the two of you shared. keep up the writing!
Hello! This is a short succinct piece of poetry. This reminds me of the song lyrics, " I can see clearly now the rain is gone". You've described freedom and discovery.
Hi! This poem is a delight to read. It has great flow and I like that the final line is repeated in each stanza. Writing in the first person gives this poem extra punch.To experience winter is to be an optimist. Spring always returns.
Hi! This is a very well-composed piece describing your carefree friendship and your catastrophic loss. I like how you liken your shock and disbelief to your spirit somersaulting. Walking as "shoe line express" is also clever. You have a way with words.
Hi! You describe a beautiful serene moment at the beach very well. Your imagery creates a lovely scene. I cannot fault your spelling: don't laugh, many people don't consider this important.
Hello! I like that you've likened the creative process with the actions of a cat. Creativity can't always be forced; I agree. At times, it is whimsical and indifferent.
Hi! Let me just admit that I too am clumsy. My family calls me a klutz and I've weathered many an accident because of this! I prefer to laugh about it. I can't prevent it; it's a very real part of my life. I understand when you write "it's in every fiber of my muscles". It's not so bad if you no longer have to be a dishwasher! I like your writing style. It's personal and funny. You have a few issues with verb tenses and run-on sentences. With an edit, you could use periods more. Your friends certainly have a sense of humour; they are quoting Abba!
Hi! I live in Canada, where I experience snow every winter. I imagine it was quite the new experience for you! I like the rhythm of your poem. No, snow is nothing like rain! I noticed one spelling error; "surley" should be "surely". Oh wait..there's an "i" missing in the word "outside".
I really like this poem about bullying. It is incomprehensible, yet it exists. The first few lines ring so true. I must admit I don't understand the word "thrown". Did you intend for it to be "throne"? Remember to capitalize the word "I". I noticed another misspelling: it should be "etiquette". The word "something" is missing an "e". Typos happen.
Hi! I like the concept of your story. It sounds so believable. After all the wonderful excitement of a birthday, being the victim of a theft would be terrible. A clown thief is so unexpected! I am partial to the name Carrie; it's my daughter's name. Okay, there are a few issues with your writing, but nothing serious. You tend to write in run-on sentences. There are many places where a period would give the reader a chance to pause and breathe. The sentence "I was furious" could end with a period after the word furious. "he said hi" could be "He said,"Hi." Words of conversation need quotation marks. You have a few typos. in which the complete word is missing a letter like "the" and "in". You need to capitalize the word "I". Party guests should be plural with an "s". Like everything, writing improves with practice, so keep it up.
Firstly, I agree with you, a smile can be so deceptive, and difficult to interpret. It is such an integral form of communicating and acknowledged in any culture. Yes, a smile is a sweet gift. Okay.. now to the technical aspect of writing English... It may be a typo, but in your third line you unnecessarily capitalize the word "a". Also, in that line, you have a run-on sentence. After the word "more" you should use a period and then the rest becomes a new sentence. I do not know what you intended with the word "delouse". Do you mean "delude"? There are several areas that are not complete sentences or are run-on sentences, but I realize you are invoking thought and your ideas are meant to be representative of an open-ended conversation. In your last lines, it should be "handicapped". Perhaps try a semi-colon after the word "buds" and a period after "hide what the other shows". Get rid of the "and". "That's why they are" is a new sentence.
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