Your poem states your situation so succinctly. To get along, you hide your true pain and feelings. So many people expect you to be and act okay. When and if they ask if you're all right, they don't want to hear the truth. They want to hear a reply of "fine." Sad, but true. I gather writing is your outlet. Thanks for composing this poem.
Sorrow and grieving are indeed sharp pains. Everyday elements are never the same after a death of a loved one. Even breathing is difficult. Hearing a familiar voice could be comforting. May I suggest you correct "stabbing me to deep" to "stabbing me too deep."
Whew! You describe a great deal of action here and paint a vivid all be it gory scene. I cannot imagine discovering such a bloody site. Would I be able to act on pure instinct like your discoverer? I like your pacing here. There are are a few issues, or typos if you will. I believe you missed a period here. "Only one word had come out crystal clear to her had been 'Lucas'." I noticed two misspelled words, 'excruciating' and 'wielding.' You caught my attention for sure with this writing.
Haha! Something naughty and something(s) nice. I love this rollicking poem. I must admit to never before picturing a drunk Santa, nor a farting Santa. You've made him believable with his foibles. I suppose with all his travels and travails he needs sleep wherever he can take it. This gives 'Twas the Night Before Christmas' competition.
Wow! This is quite the campfire story. Your descriptions are vivid and I struggled as Byron did to breathe. I felt the tumbling and the terror. I camp all the time in different terrain and all manner of weather. Never have I experienced such an unpleasant surprise. I like the ending...oh oh, what about the weather? Byron has the story of all stories to share. Great writing!
You are correct, if Dumbo could fly why can't I? Being wingless and blessed/cursed with a generous backside should not be a legitimate deterrent to flying, no, not at all. That padded derriere serves as somewhat of a cushion for the many false starts and crashes. So, determination and grit are the secrets to soaring? "She landed as daintily as Dumbo". Now there's an image! I'm also left with the idea of a bruised pine tree holding a grudge. Hmmm, blackberry bushes are needy and "little vampires." Good to know should I attempt my own first flight. I appreciate your subtle humour and word pictures. Thanks for the laughter. I'm cheering for stubborn Juliana. She deserves a flight permit based upon sheer perseverance.
I like the concept of farm animals communicating in a common language, in this story, 'cow.' Young children love sounds and they love repetition. A 'moo' and a 'hoo' are similar plus they rhyme which is a bonus. May I suggest you use less of the word 'now' in this paragraph "while Hooter is mooing the lullaby with the cows." I can picture the illustrations for this book, cute cows and a proud owl.
Yep, you've described the dance of trees in a storm. I read your bio and noticed you live in B.C. The trees there are enormous, majestic, breathtaking! I've always marveled re trees and storms. Why do some survive while others are knocked down, or yanked out by their roots? It's also a wonder that many trees live and grow for hundreds of years. Maybe the dancing ones are those survivors. I like how you describe thunder claps as percussion.
HAHA! How else is a young witch to learn? Chloe obviously believes in the trial and error approach. Sometimes, appearances are important. Chloe made the label fit the image of her mother. Very creative! Amateurs exist everywhere, eh?
I enjoyed this very much. Nice twist having Jimmy be a ventriloquist's dummy! Poor misguided Clarence listened to the voice projected from his head to a dummy's empty head. Clarence and Jimmy were the true couple, eh? Peggy did say they weren't good for each other and Clarence mistakenly claimed Jimmy to be harmless. Very creative!
So, love requires refrigeration and has an expiry date. Huh, who knew. This entire piece had me giggling. There are so many love cliches. Obviously, it's been irking people for eons. You would think a famous cartoon skunk would have the answer to why love stinks. As I recall, Pepe knew a bit about obsession, too. Thanks for the laughs!
This interview is hilarious and I apologize to the interviewer who clearly became rattled. Laughing at your awkwardness is akin to chortling about the hapless contestants running the gauntlet of the game show 'Wipeout.' Speaking with a feline and attempting to pin it down is like lassoing smoke. Yes, cats live to be contrary and unpredictable. They do what they do because they can do it.
Wow, what an indelible experience! You and your mother sure had quite the day. Your Mom sounds like a quick thinker willing to take immediate action. You are so correct, a little girl knows nothing of dangers. I noticed a few 'things' that could be fixed in this story, nothing major. There's an extra 'and' in the sentence "She'll be safe"... I believe it's "the car door jerked open" not 'opened.' "Its door slammed into my leg." ( Ouch, by the way.) "The car's roaring engine sounded angry."
This is a lovely childhood memory. You describe the close family ties. I sure wouldn't want to live with a snake, but I realuze they can be useful. May I suggest you remove the apostrophe with 'kids' in the final sentence. I love this surname...Pickles.
I like this fun bit of poetry. When we keep our eyes open we notice the strange, the bizarre the funny. This could be a child's tale. They'd understand that perspective of the Honda seeming to push the RV. They would laugh at a panda driving a vehicle.
Hello and welcome to WDC! I love your story. I can relate. I've often said that I need to take my Mom's recipes to a lab for analysis because the handwriting has faded, yet something sticks to the paper. Those stained recipes are obviously the best ones. There's nothing like family lore, or is the better term legend? Your mother and her cousin seem to have created much for you to write about. I look forward to more of those escapades come to life.
Haha! I love the surprise ending! Who's afraid of an electric razor? Some people unfortunately cannot "take" or "accept" a joke. Sigh, to be humour impaired must be blissful, eh? The quick-witted do live dangerously at times. I liked the pace of this story and its many jokes.
I love this! My youngest grandgiggle purposely feeds her Boston terrier. Yes, many a dog is protective and overly-obsessed with their "round thing." They will chase it forever never tiring of that chase. Wouldn't it be grand to have this dog's energy and enthusiasm?
Well done! This is hilarious. Now, I can pity my own hard-working vacuum cleaner.I love how you stress this gadget's stress. The rhyme is wonderful. Who knew it would or could gag on mouthfuls of dust? I dare say all of our homes need attention "full of dirt I dare not mention."
Haha! Imagine poor Mr. Spielberg besieged by script ideas. The concepts are not always original.Why do dentists insist upon nattering when we cannot possibly reply? They may love the sound of their own voices. There are a few areas to fix up in this piece, but it's a great read. The time should have a ':' between the 10 and the 30.There are a few 'I' not capitalized. I believe a word is missing where you wrote" Oh. Hmm. your head up..." "Now now, we are almost done. moment." Is there a word missing here, too? I love how diplomatic the famous director is when replying.
This is fantastic! You speak of and with a virgin pirate. I love how you cautioned the ol' man he could drop the accent, but he liked it 'cause it kept him in character. This is the stuff of legends, they are created and grow via imagination. Is there any truth/proof to them? You describe this "pirate's" training as if he were a rookie fireman. Ah, no hard won glory to the peg leg either.
What a glorious piece of writing to end this wonderful challenge. Very creative to include your characters in the conversation. The stories, their plots, their characters, their language, their actions/reactions all resonate with us. We carry them with us. And, yes, now what do we do? Some of my ideas kept me from sleep. too.
Hi Hannah and welcome to WDC! Thank goodness for light, bringer of peace, allayer of pain, banisher of misery, and introducer to sight. We travel down a good many tunnels, don't we? Some are dark and represent the unknown. Writing is like this. We cannot always see where we are headed or what awaits us. Keep walking towards the light.
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