I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!
Having lost my own father to leukemia, this piece tugged at my heartstrings.
Some things to work on:
Punctuation, especially apostrophes dealing with possessive nouns.
Leave a space between paragraphs. It's easier on your readers' eyes.
When dealing with dialogue, separate it from the rest of the story. Start a new paragraph with each person speaking. When you run it all into the paragraph, it confuses your readers.
With a little work, I think this could be a nice story.
Thanks again for entering. I hope you enjoyed the prompt!