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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nmarshall/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/9
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1,125 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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201
201
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

This brought back fond memories of fishing with my own father. Your description took me back to those days.*Smile*

I love the dialogue between Lily and her dad. It was so real. And I often have wondered about that early worm!

In spite of the tragedy of losing a loved one, this had a feel good vibe to it.

Nice work!

~Nikola
202
202
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi!

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

I like your story. While not a completely happy ending, Amy did find closure of sorts. Did she find out her true first name?

Watch spelling and punctuation. When your character is thinking versus talking to herself aloud, use italics. It helps your readers to know which is which.

I felt the story a bit jumpy, not flowing smoothly. Just a little polish will solve that. It's part of what we writers must endure.

This would be great in expanded form using bits of story but truly telling it through the letters and couments of her father.

Thanks again for entering!

~Nikola
203
203
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hi!

I am reviewing your story as one of the judges for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

You have good bones for a story here. It does need a lot of polish. Don't let this discourage you. It's something every writer has to endure.

There are a lot of incorrectly spelled words. Some of your word choices don't make sense. Watch using the same word too many times too closely together.

The story itself is a tragic one. I felt for Robert and his loss. It is truly tragic to lose someone loved so dearly at a time that should be joyful.

I liked your dialogue. It rang true.

Keep writing!

~Nikola
204
204
Review of INTO THE BONEYARD  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi!

I am reviewing your story as one of the judges for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

Nice job leading your readers through the chase to the final result. It flowed well, never giving too much away too soon.

You changed the way you spelled boneyard, from one word to two. Choose one or the other.

This cemetary reminded me of an old one where I grew up. Full of ghost stories and yes, the above ground crypt. I was picturing it while I read.

Nice work!

~Nikola
205
205
Review of Dead Run  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your story as one of the judges for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

I really like this! It is pleasant to read and flows well right until the literal end.

I also like that, while it is a ghost story, it has enough interest and twists to make it different. It causes one to pause and think about their own lives and how they live them. At least it did for me.

Nicely done!

~Nikola
206
206
Review of A Victim's Story  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your story as one of the judges for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

Nice! While the two creeps at the bar reinforce my adversion to the whole speed dating thing, as well as bars in general, they served their purpose. I honestly thought they would save the day. Then again, I imagine the title of the story made that point moot. I do think they know more and even perhaps who is committing these crimes.

The dialogue is wonderful and the characters believable. Your story flowed nicely.

Nice work!

~Nikola
207
207
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi!

I am reviewing your story as one of the judges for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

This is a twisty story. While I was confused at some points, it all became clear in the end. I truly thought that Roger was losing his mind. Or was he? While the obvious is that he did indeed have a family and a life, he could have been slipping into madness. I love that there is room for reflection on the true nature of his mental condition.

Nicely done!

~Nikola
208
208
Review of Nonna's Story  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi!

I am reviewing your story as one of the judges for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

This is a wonderfully written story! I felt drawn in and kept interested throughout. I wanted to know the fate of Angela.

What a terrible, tragic story! Times were different then and very difficult.

Your description, dialogue and characters are well written and believable.

Nice!

~Nikola
209
209
Review of Free Fall  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi!

I am reviewing your story as one of the judges for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

What a beautiful, tragic story! My wish is that Jinn learns from this and uses her life to help those of others.

Your beginning took my breath away! I'm crazy terrified of heights and flying. I thought for a moment that Jinn had pushed her luck and died. The truth was so much more powerful.

The setting of Scotland speaks to me. I've Scottish roots and the country is one of beauty.

Your dialogue made the location more true to your readers.

Wonderful story!

~Nikola
210
210
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I am reviewing your story as one of the judges for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

I have to admit that I'm burned out on zombie stories. But, I love this one!

It's very nicely written. I feel like I'm living this ordeal with Devin. His journal and his thoughts make him real to your readers. I like that he not only discusses how to survive but also those human things he misses that we take for granted.

Very nice!

~Nikola
211
211
Review of And Then  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi!

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

Wow! So much said in so few words. This is indeed suspenseful.

I think that if you left line spaces between the story itself and each "and then," it would visually add to the suspense. Doing this would give your readers a slight pause as they ready themselves for the next bit of action.

Loving a good ghost story/mystery, I enjoyed this.

Nice work! Best of luck!

~Nikola
212
212
Review of The Chair  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi!

I am reveiwing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

Love, love this! Nearing the end, I had guessed where the narrator was. Still, it was a fun trip getting there!

The descriptive telling of this story is what grabs your readers and keeps us captive until the end. I was almost having a panic attack myself!

One thing, since your readers don't know that your narrator knows her tormentor, after he removes her glasses, you mention the detail of his white eyebrows. To keep the suspense, you might want to omit that. We aren't supposed to know who he is untill all is revealed at the end.*Wink*

I really enjoyed this story! Best of luck!

~Nikola
213
213
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi!

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

I have to admit that this story was very predictable...until the last sentence. I did not see that coming! Great job in taking me by surprise.

Perhaps I found it predictable because this is the kind of television program I like and books that I read.

You do write well and your description is great. That very thing helps your readers feel the story.

Watch spelling. I saw a few errors. Also plurals and possessives. Minor things that rewrites take care of.

Thanks again for entering and best of luck!

~Nikola
214
214
Review of Desolate  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi!

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

Wow! This story wound and twisted right until the end. Very nice job!

I loved Trace. Poor guy trying so hard to do right in a changing and confusing world.

I sympathized with Erin, at first of course. One question--how did she know her name when she couldn't remember anything concrete? Just a thought.

You did a great job of keeping your readers in the dark, teasing them along, feeding them nibbles of information. I like how you brought the story to a complete conclusion right at the very last.

I enjoyed reading! Best of luck!

~Nikola
215
215
Review of Vegas, Anyone?  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi!
I am reviewing your entry as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

This is a very well written piece! Even though I chose not to have children of my own, I often look around and ask myself these same questions. There seems to be no set and right answer on parenting well adjusted children who become productive adults. There are so many factors that come into play.

You raise these issues in a clear manner, even pondering on them. The ultimate question is "why."

Well done! Best of luck and thanks again for entering!

~Nikola
216
216
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
HI!

I am reviewing your entry as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

I love this piece! When I learned that I was a judge for the genre contest and the subject was parenting, I was a bit worried. Having no human children of my own, I wasn't sure I was qualified. Now dog parenting I understand. I have three furbabies of my own.

Even though I am a single parent, I often have these kinds of conversations with myself. Your writing and subject are so relatable. Of course I love the humor that is sprinkled throughout. Great work!

Thanks again for entering! Best of luck and give Boo a pat for me.*Smile*

~Nikola
217
217
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi!
I am reviewing your entry as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

This is a very powerful piece to me. While showing your mother's love and dedication and your family dynamic, you also give an insight into Asperger's. That is a great larning tool for those who aren't familiar with it or those who don't understand.

You write wonderfully!

Thanks again for entering and best of luck!

~Nikola
218
218
Review of our miracle  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I am reviewing your entry as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

My heart goes out to your family. I was in tears by the end of this piece. I believe there is a reason and a lesson in everything that happens in life. It may take a long while to see it but eventually it will come.

I felt your emotion and pain as you chronicled Caleb's story. Your writing brought out the pure honesty of what your family went through.

Thank you again for entering and best of luck.

~Nikola
219
219
Review of Dear Fear  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi!

I am reviewing your entry as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"   by Writing.Com Support Thanks for entering!

Fear can have a powerful impact on us. It is ultimately our decision whether to let it rule our lives or to defeat it. It sounds like after a rough upbrining that you have mastered yours.

Thanks for entering and best of luck!

~Nikola
220
220
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi!

I am reviewing your entry as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

While I agree that grammar is important, I feel it doesn't really follow the prompt of parenting. Education perhaps.
Schools anymore set their curriculum in order to pass state's test in order to get more funding. Our kids are not even learning the basics now which I think is a shame. Just my two cents.

Thanks again for entering!

~Nikola
221
221
Review of A Green Welcome  
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Jatog!

I am reviewing your entry as a judge for "The Writer's Cramp"   by Sophy v.2021 . Thanks for entering!

Also, thank you for the warm welcome! I'm looking forward to all the creativity that I will be treated to.

Your letter is fun! I loved the poem (don't get in trouble with the missus for sending me kisses! I don't want a Green after my hide!*Wink*).

Thanks again for entering and best of luck!

~Nikola
222
222
Review of Divine Madness  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
HI! I am reviewing your entry as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

This is an intriguing and different idea for a story. I enjoyed reading it. I have to say I'm not a kid person myself so I completely sympathized with Jesse in the end.*Wink*

Your story flowed well. You didn't cram a ton of information at your readers. It allows them to take it in pece by piece.
Dialogue is believable as are your characters. Loved the demons and angels working together!

The reason I rated a four is that the prompt was Comedy and I really didn't see that in this piece. Well written but I just didn't see humor in it. This is only my opinion.

Thanks again for entering! Best of luck!

~Nikola
223
223
Review of Getting By  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi!

I am reveiwing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

melodious strains of Sheryl Crow's "Strong Enough" sounded from the *bowls of Elle's purse as she loaded groceries into the back seat.
*bowels

This story hits home for many in the current economic crisis.

I know there is a word count but I was left wanting more. While I did see how Elle was handling her situation, I wanted some kind of closure. Did she get the job at the fancy boutique? That angle alone would have been a great entry. I was also hoping the man who gave her the bike would come back into the picture. I admit I'm a sucker for fairytale endings.*Wink*

Your characters are very believable as well as your dialog. But, as I said, I wanted more. I think you could go wild with these characters once you are freed up from a word count.

Thanks again for entering and best of luck!

~Nikola

224
224
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi!

I am reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

This is a realistic view of how those who have loved ones who commit or attempt suicide deal with the situation. Guilt is big on that list. Wondering what we did or didn't do or say. You covered those bases well.

Mick is believable in both thought and action. You definitely showed how he dealt with one of the worst events in life that a person can be faced with.

You write well and the story flows and is easily followed. You show us one chapter of this character's life and leave us perched on the beginning of the next chapter. Nicely done.

Thanks again for entering and best of luck!

~Nikola
225
225
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi!

I'm reviewing your entry as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"   by Writing.Com Support . Thanks for entering!

I loved this story!

The way you blended the action of the game with the inner turmoil that Charlie was going through brought to mind the movie For Love of the Game, which I loved for that same blending of game and character turmoil.

I also loved the way you tease your reader with drawing out the final pitch and result. Good work!

The reaction of the team and fans reminds me of the Dallas area sports fans. They love their teams when they win and turn away when they lose. Charlie realized that very thing as the game ended and the same people who had berated his playing were now lauding it. It's a false sense of praise when the team/ or a player isn't "up to par."

You followed the prompt very well and your characters are very real. I enjoyed reading this story.

Thanks again for entering and best of luck!

~Nikola

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