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6,332 Public Reviews Given
6,332 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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376
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
hello Prosperous Snow, you offer a very curious tale about how persons can attend their own funeral in a place called Pleasant Valley. The main character has found out that someone with the same name and appearance is about to have a funeral. As the tale evolves we have found others have experienced similar stories. Sara, is sent to sort through the strangeness by her security guard boss.

Thoughts: It is a fun tale. I am not at all sure about the likelihood and yet I guess that is not your main consideration. I have been a security guard for many years and am left scratching my head as to why they are the target. Overall it reads well, my main issue is with credibility.
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377
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thanks for the memorial day salute. As always there is a bit of bite that leads to seeing the carrion that lies hidden within. I enjoyed the meddling in the initial part of the poem. I was asked: what is the point? I was on the hook and then as I get to the end I find out why? thanks for sharing.
Under that banner

Of unquestionable freedom
I killed my fellow kind
Battle tested

There is a reason for the memory.
God bless
378
378
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Bob, it was a fun read. I am guessing that O'Reilly is a conservative, Catholic, capitalist. There was an obvious political bite. Poor people are sent to work camps(reminding me of Nzzi, Germany), prisons pristine or else and goods to a Martian colony. He is even promoted to religious papal pomposity.
How did Australia turn into hell (must be political)
Watch out for typos: ie. by "a" responsible CEO.
Thanks for the biting satire.
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379
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello LibraryPat, I enjoyed the way that you were able to use other words like "bare and pair" to create a place where a polar "bear" could want to dwell. At the same time the rhyming has the feel of a clever poem, rather than limerick as I am used to hearing. I was also left wondering what it meant to unfold. Thanks for sharing
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380
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello DawnDiva, I was able to see the nonsense that you offer up. There are all manner of paradoxical mania. I like most the stanza that talks about evil souls devouring all power.... I am not as clear about the stanza about crying pain. Overall it seems like free spirited banter about fiction that does not always translate. I am very sure you know of your intent and in places that is clear. Your first line about being sick for having done s*** puts me in a frame of wondering what I will gain from reading.
Thanks for sharing
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Review of God Smiled  
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thanks for your words of comfort and encouragement TravelingBuffalo. I see the strength in how you allow your lines to reflect in such a way that I catch an image that moves from angelic laughter to all of heaven's invitation to delight in the smile. You offer a daily glimpse into how we can live out within ourselves the memory of others and at the same time learn how we can internalize this truth for ourselves. Good job
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382
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thanks for sharing your heart Jenny. I am reminded of how simple prayers seem to have more weight that lengthy one where it can be too easy to get lost in words. You offer some of your own impressions on what makes prayer work.
1. there is help
2 there is a sense of security
3. there is a God who listens.
I pray that you will receive the desire of your heart. God bless
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383
Review of Reveal  
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Logan, thanks for offering a glimpse into your soul and inviting me to consider what this means for me. In establishing an arena where values and passions win the day. I especially liked the lines:
Feral souls, impulsive
Rehearsed impromptu parts
Roles within a circus
This carnival of stars
Bright on blackened canvas
Like fireflies in jars
I pray that as you continue to find the light in your own soul you will continue to share that light with others.
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384
Review of Deal Me Out  
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello writerondemand, you offer a clever way of dealing with life. You share that it can easy to sell out after all there are so many stresses. What happens if I lose. You offer a better alternative -What if I win? Life is a choice to stay out and miss out on love and potential overcoming or risking to find out that I am able (with God's help)
thanks for sharing
385
385
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks Keaton, I am glad for your style and creativity. In this poem I see in the midst of the pale and darkness a mystery still waiting and wanting to be resolved.
"Suffering is what must be done as I fight to explain myself and these words are my only way. Nonsensical gibberish or unprecedented brilliance, I’ll let the critics decide."
There is an aura of hopelessness and distilled silence that God's voice cannot even penetrate. It is at this point I move toward the hope that you share in the end. It may seem almost ghostlike to write and yet there is the realization that it is all I have and it has to be enough.
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386
Review of Day 6 - 2.1.13  
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Fyn, you literally knocked my socks off. I learned very quickly that this piece was anything but whimsical. The brakes were put on my perceptions when I entered into the part of the poem where it said he had a face that hid more than faulty brakes. From then on I was in for the ride of my life. I can empathize some. I know the face of abuse and I doubt the pain ever goes away. You used the words very creatively. By the time I was through I was out of breath and thank God, Uncle Hump's no longer with us.
Thanks for sharing. God bless
387
387
Review of This day  
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello aneneverson, it was a fun read. I was reading a book today that shared about what to do with mood disorder issues and one of the main themes was taking time with your pet and learning to cultivate a spirit of gratitude. I liked that it was down to earth and hopeful. By the time I got to the end of the poem I wanted to praise God with you.
Thank you so much and God bless
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388
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Yellow Rose, I resonate most with the lines that allow me to take my care and compassion with me wherever we go. In a sense family will always be bigger than the one we grew up with. Thanks for offering up a vision. We are faced with passing humanity's test. The title speaks about burdens we leave behind like a cross. In the place of seeing them suffer we are called to take up the boulder of burden and share with the world can be a better place. Thanks
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Review of Stages of love  
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Raneyuu, the power of the poem is in the contrast between heart's love beat and heartache. There is the vision of being together forever and then as time goes on the realization that one could be cheated on and betrayed. I felt caught by the hurt caused by unfaithfulness.

Suggestion: I have no idea what you mean by falling of a skit, near the end of your poem. It might help to give it another look. Thanks
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390
Review of Wade  
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
hello Jeweldesign, I like the metaphor of the cool wade in the water. I resonate most of all with the idea of discovering what it means to be refreshed after times that seem too hot, painful, temptation and like a hurricane. I am mostly caught in the vision of an ocean of beauty in a place between freedom and drowning. It sure defines the essence of romance to me!
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Review of A Lover So High  
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Tim, a lovely testimony as to what it means to love the woman that has been given over to your life. I like the main ideas. She has beautiful hands, passion, and earthy wildness. I like most the part about her being a seamlessly calm but wild continent with regal lust and passionate departures, along with the image of a hard driving rushing river.
Thanks for your inspirational impressions.
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Review of Ponder  
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
You offer a very compelling tale zzzzz, a man is in a spirit of reminiscing about the violation of one man against an innocent other. You describe well how the violence that happens to one affects a whole community. There is no way for people to recover that which has been lost.
Sympathy they call for, forgiveness they cry. TRUST I SAY, can not be mended in the same way that sympathy they call for and forgiveness they whine. For forgiveness he has and Sympathy with much valued pity is given.

I think you might profit from looking at the format. It looks to me like many words blurred together. The one sentence I quoted above is marvelous. The only thing I take issue with is that it seems to be missing punctuation. I am not a grammarian and yet it seems like the second sentence is confusing.
Keep writing. I enjoy the way you describe what can only be known by one that can imagine themselves being in the same situation.
393
393
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello dark. Alice, well done. It was creepy enough to hold my attention and at the same time contained some familiar characters in different garb to make me think of what it means to be a dark Alice in wonderland in this context. One of the sentences I enjoyed most came early on.
She drank from the open water bottle in the fridge, finally able to swallow the scream fully.

I felt lead to a conclusion that grabbed me and left me wanting more. It is a world that is too familiar for persons like Alice that seek to break free of abuse.
For a moment she wonders what makes her more crazy. The fact she needs that twisted version of her own mind.. or that she longs for it.

Maybe part of the quest out is knowing that you are there in the first place.
thanks for sharing
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394
Review of MISSING  
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello scribe, a very charming story about what happens when a two year old gets lost. You capture well the feelings of a mother who is thinking the worse. I was reminded of what happened when my three year old brother went out with a baby carriage into a busy highway. Thank God the police were not far away. I think the whole I idea of having someone lost resonates with a lot of folks. Who hasn't been a part of that kind of experience.
thanks for sharing
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395
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Carly, very well done. I am reminded of the story of Pandora's box. Within it are the reminders of what keeps us bounded and confounded. The part of love and hate that reside reminds me of the tree in the garden of Eden that held forbidden fruit. There is an inevitability. The call is to make the best of the time that is ahead, knowing that the contents of Pandora's box will open not only itself but the person to what makes life real.

Thanks for sharing!
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Review of He Was Only Two  
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thanks for jarring me back into reality Matthew. It is too easy to get locked into a place where I do not need to risk my life and more often than not take for granted someone willing to die so that I can do that. I am thankful for this poem. You got it right. It begins at two and ends at two and now who is there to clean up after the explosion of loss is needing to be cleaned up. Thanks
God bless
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397
Review of The Corridor  
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello dblameck, I am drawn into your tale of suspense. I am in the corridor with this person as he sifts through the rubble looking for some form of remembrance about the treasure that were there before the battle that seemed to end it all. My only problem is that I want there to be more. The character is killed off before I get to know him.

Impressions: I enjoyed the way you revealed a place worth wanting to explore. Now I am left wondering what is next. Thanks for writing
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Review of Dare to Spray  
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Hyperiongate, I was touched by this piece. It is enjoyable to know how the customs of other countries work. I am left wondering how these connections pan out over time. It sounds like something wonderful enough to write about it fifteen years later. Did you ever get your Easter egg?

suggestions: I did notice a typo and yet maybe only because of culture difference( endeavor)
Thanks for sharing
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399
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I offer merely suggestions. Thanks for sharing your intimate impressions

For the gift of hard work, and the need for great strength, For the gift of hard work and increasing strength
Dedication and humor, and practice at length, and your dedication with humor and practicing at length
We stroll down the runway, pump up the crowd, We look up from our seats and pump up the crowd
That spirit for victories making fans proud. The Spirited victories making....

A few timely breaks, still playing real hard, There are few timely breaks, yet you are still playing real hard.
Then somehow escaping, not shaken or scarred - somehow enduring, not shaken or scarred
We walk in the shadows, the game's within reach, We walk in the shadows, knowing the game is within reach
But sports often rile, not just honor and teach... Sports not only excite, they honor and teach

But our love for the sport is simply unrivaled,
No matter the outcome, blessed or wild; No matter the outcome win or lose
We're simply so picky, yet lucky to play - We're simply so raucous, lucky to see play
Our chances and efforts just don't slip away! hoping.......
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Review of My Lover's Wings  
Review by drifter
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)

Your sweet and caring embrace takes hold of me
Like the rapturous wingspan
Of the most marvelous, awe-inspiring bird -
We simply know of no kinder or gentler affection; I think it might be more terse without the word "simply"
Our bodies are sewn in the timeless grace Our bodies are sewn together in timelessness (there is a lot about grace that follows)
And endless passion Of grace and endless passion
Befitting the most thankful pair befitting relational bliss

Of blessed relations...
I offer suggestions on how to improve. Well done!!!

We continue to seek the freshest beginnings fresh beginnings
And most novel rewards. and novel rewards
We are but two lovers
Transcending ancient myths
And oft told legends;
And conquering treacherous terrain conquering......I(I think one too many ands)
With a deeply-rooted passion
And unwavering trust.

Supporting each other through immense trials, We support each other through.......
While gaining increasing knowledge and appreciation, gaining.....
We focus with much ingenuity on productive paths; We gaze ingeniously toward more productive paths
Sailing forward with great love, pride,
And impeccable fortitude...
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