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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/purplesunday
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1,995 Public Reviews Given
2,014 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I tend to write in depth reviews, discussing all aspects I feel need addressing. I am always positive and encouraging, but I'm also honest. If I feel something needs looking at, I will mention it.
I'm good at...
I'm a grammar and punctuation fiend. It is always one of the first things that strikes me about a piece of writing. I'm also good at offering suggestions to back up any comments I make. I'm always happy to re-review once changes have been made.
Favorite Genres
Dark or emotional poetry. The same goes for short stories; I like writing that makes me feel something. I love to read mysteries, thrillers, romance. I'll give anything a go, though.
Least Favorite Genres
Steampunk, sci-fi, fantasy.
Favorite Item Types
Emotional or dark poetry. Heart warming short stories. Mysteries. Thrillers.
Least Favorite Item Types
Chapters from the middle of books.
Public Reviews
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1
1
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi The StoryMaster ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked The fact that I scored 10 out of 10!

*Bulletr* I just spotted this quiz, and I couldn't resist having a go. After taking part in Game of Thrones for the last few weeks, and reviewing (roughly) a hundred items, I was interested to know whether or not I have learned anything. And the good thing is, I have. I scored ten out of ten. However, if I am completely honest with you, I did cheat on the first question by reading The StoryMistress 's guidelines to great reviews. I probably wouldn't have got the question about the number of key characteristics for reviews right without looking.

*BulletR* I love quizzes. I am always up for taking part in one, offline as well as online. So, when I was having a poke around your portfolio, I was happy to see this quiz in there. Additionally, I created a quiz for Game of Thrones, just yesterday, so I know how time-consuming they can be to create. I appreciate the time you have taken with this.

*BulletR* I like the mix of questions with five options for answers and true or false questions. The true or false ones were trickier, in particular the two questions that start out with, "Even if my opinion of the piece is not favourable ..." With these, I felt that I wanted to be honest, but sometimes, people don't appreciate it. But, rightly, the answer is to go with honesty.


Suggestions: My only suggestion would be to add a few more questions. Maybe, questions about different types of item reviews. Because a chapter review is different from a poetry review. But that would mean going into a lot more detail, and I know you have enough to do already. I don't know whether you have quizzes for other aspects of WDC? I must have a look. (As I said, I love quizzes.)


Parting comments: I have enjoyed this brief foray into your port this afternoon. Thank you, for all you do around this website.


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.
2
2
Review of Things Forgotten  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi amyjo-Keeping it real and fun! ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked ... The possibilities laid out at the end of this story really appealed to me.

*Bulletr* This story leaves me feeling curious about what would have happened next, after the story ends? I imagined, if it were me, I would have had some serious words with Brad after he read my letters like that. Whatever happened to boundaries? But, then, I wondered what Callie would do. Would she tell Brad where to get off and go in search of Brian? Would she try to track Brian down online or some other way? Could this be a huge romance story? That could be a new story, in itself. I love how my mind is buzzing after reading this.

*BulletR* When I first started to read, I kept thinking it would be really cool to find a box of old letters and notes that a loved one had kept. I love to look through things like that. The little things that make people who they are. I would have liked to know why Callie's grandma never gave her the two letters from Brian. What did she have against him? I also wondered whether Callie's mother knew about them? See? More questions!


Suggestions: Just a few typo / Grammatical Suggestions. "'A clean house makes for a welcoming house.' she would always say." It should be a comma before the end speech mark, not a period. Also, "They were my letter ..." It should be "letters." Then, "She would call a moving company to put come put the furniture and boxes into a storage unit." This is a typo. You can take out the two words as I have shown. Finally, "You know, well need to start practicing ..." I think this should be we'll.


Parting comments: I enjoyed reading this story a lot. You create great intrigue with the letters form Callie's ex boyfriend. It sparked my imagination greatly. I keep coming back to why her grandma would have withheld the letters. I guess I'll never know! Great work!


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Lady Elizabeth Mormont

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked ... This diary entry captured my imagination. It made me laugh, as well, and that is a great prize this morning.

*Bulletr* From the beginning, I was intrigued by Mary Brownstone. I wanted to know her story, and I was not disappointed. Because this is a diary entry, you can let your readers know some setting and context without having to go into long explanations. I like that. Straight away, I was in the late 1960s, and I knew attitudes to women having careers were different then from today. So it made sense when Mary said the things about her husband not wanting her to work, and definitely not wanting her to be a reporter. Although that made me dislike her husband somewhat, I had to remember that times were different then.

*BulletR* But Mary Brownstone is one courageous woman. Her boss, the dreadful Mr. Livingston, is away for the day, so when the telephone rings, and Mary is presented with an opportunity to shine, she takes it. I love that! She is a gutsy lady. At the end, she reflected on how, if she never had another word published as long as she lived, this published story would be enough for her. That felt real.

*BulletR* The cows made me laugh! Cows, everywhere. They had escaped their farm and were busy eating the lawns of all the properties on Main Street, Memphis. When Mary received the call, I had no idea where you would take us. I did not guess it would be to cows. That's funny.


Suggestions: I have a couple of typo/grammar suggestions: "It was wonderful to say I was from a newspaper though; I finally feel like ..." I think it should be finally felt, past tense. The rest of the sentence is past tense. Also, " ...and submitted it to assistant editor ..." I would say to the assistant editor.


Parting comments: I'm not surprised this is a Writer's Cramp winner. It is astute, funny, and your narrator pulls the reader inside the story with her. I enjoyed this very much.


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Bikerider ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked ... Your sense of humour really appeals to me. I found this work of flash fiction very funny. I love the title. It is what drew me to this item.

*Bulletr* Immediately as we start reading, you tell us where we are by mentioning the, "wedding guest" chuckling. This is great because, with flash fiction, we have to give any information as quickly and concisely as possible (which is probably why I am terrible at writing it). So, straight away, your readers are guests at a wedding. You then give us the punchline to a joke, but you don't share the rest of the joke. I really like this. We can invent our own jokes out of this. But, the thing is, the contents of the joke are not the important parts of this story. The grandma and her reaction to it, and the ensuing farce, are what matters.

*BulletR* Oh, my. I laughed at this. This description of the events is great: "In a gust of breath, her denture flew from her mouth in a perfect arc--right into the punch bowl." That had me laughing out loud., I could see it happening. I could also imagine the reaction of the grandma and her husband. This whole scene is exactly the kind of thing that would happen to my Mum's family.

*BulletR* Grandma and Grandpa making a commotion and interrupting the wedding speeches is brilliant. I can imagine how embarrassed the closest family members would have felt. Grandpa's pink-tinted arm, once he has retrieved the dentures is funny. I wonder whether this was alcoholic punch, and whether Grandma might have been slightly tipsy after putting the dentures back in her mouth.


Suggestions: Whenever you mention Grandma or Grandpa, you don't capitalise the Gs. Because, I assume, they are the narrator's grandparents, and he doesn't say, "my grandma," just, grandma, it should capitalised for the proper noun. Also, you have a typo here: "As she fit her teeth back into place, grandpa took she took his hand ..." Firstly, took shouldn't be there. Also, I think it should be Grandma, not Grandpa.

Parting comments: I am so happy I came across this delightful flash fiction today. It has given me a much-needed laugh.


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked ... The ethos of this wonderful group.

*Bulletr* I couldn't really finish up my "Game of Thrones reviews without coming to this forum and sending you my thoughts. And, wow. There is a lot to look at. I have to confess to not knowing the Angel Wings spread quite as far as they do. So much to read and look at. I could have spent all day reading it. From your reviewing forum, to the Angels and Authors of the Month, and also the Outreach Programme. Just to mention a few of the angel activities. It's good to see your partnership with Sssssh! I'm not really here.. It would be way too much for one person to maintain on their own.

*BulletR* The feeling I have from looking through this group is one of community and acceptance. The way you encourage members — angels — to reach out to others through reviews and taking part in forum discussions. It spreads a lovely feeling through the community. I hope that, when Game of Thrones is over, I will be able to take part more in the Angel Army. Having been an Angel of the Month and Author of the Month previously, I know how valued it made me feel. It made me so happy to feel like people appreciated me. And I know it will feel the same to everyone to whom you bestow this honour.

*BulletR* As always, the images on the main page, and all of the other pages within the group, are fantastic. Your eye for design is exquisite. You make everything look really eye-catching. I also like the quotation you have used at the top of the main page: "we are all angels with only one wing, and we can flyby embracing one another." That sums up the Angel Army perfectly.


Suggestions: No. None. There is nothing I would suggest to change. It is perfect.


Parting comments: I have felt very welcome with the Angel Army this April, and I look forward to finding out even more about your group, and participating in your activities, once the Throne is claimed. What a fabulous group you have here!


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.

6
6
Review of Little Ships  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi JACE - House Targaryen ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked ... Oh, my gosh. I loved everything about this story.

*Bulletr* You write beautifully, Jace. As soon as I started to read this story, I read, "The fog of old age could not stem the memories that rose in my mind, like the tides on a beach south of Dunkirk almost seventy years ago." This is such a great use of simile to show your readers some of the narrator's experience. This initial paragraph hooked me and ensured I would not break free until the end. The matter-of-fact narration of the boy makes the horror of the situation even worse. You don't over-write it, and the result is a thoroughly immersive and emotive reading experience.

*BulletR* The story itself is wonderful. I wanted to know, had to know, what would happen. Obviously, the boy survived because he was remembering the events seventy years on, but I wanted to know how the English soldiers would fare. When Owen died saving Henri's life, I had a lump in my throat. But, the story itself is so interesting. From when Henri is hiding in the cupboard, to when the soldiers attacked the Germans, my heart beat a little quicker than normal. In a relatively short story, you created characters I really cared about. I love a story with great characters.

*BulletR* Your writing, Jace. Oh, my goodness. I don't think I've ever read your work before. You pulled me along in the world of the evacuation of Dunkirk in Word War II. Your story reminded me of the book 'Birdsong' by Sebastian Faulks in the way you gave the feeling of danger the characters experienced. The image and feeling of dust and being unable to see where that danger hides is clever. Henri coughs because of dust when he is in the cupboard, and he says at the end, "A boat horn shattered my reverie, and the dust that hung in my mind from the rubbled buildings cleared." I love that sentence.


Suggestions: Just a couple of things. Firstly, you say the soldiers all grew up together, " ...in a small town called Lancashire." Lancashire is actually a county in England, not a town. You could use, for example, "Blackburn, Lancashire," or "Bolton, Lancashire." Moving on to the text. "Aider! S'il vous plait!" 'Aider: should be "aidez" if the boy is shouting for help. In fact, he would probably shout, "M'aidez" - "Help me." Also, you have typo here: "Apparently, they can'y commit their Armour units ..." It should be "can't."


Parting comments: This story is fantastic. I am officially a fan of your writing, and I will endeavour to read more in the future!


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review of Little Ships  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi JACE - House Targaryen ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked ... Oh, my gosh. I loved everything about this story.

*Bulletr* You write beautifully, Jace. As soon as I started to read this story, I read, "The fog of old age could not stem the memories that rose in my mind, like the tides on a beach south of Dunkirk almost seventy years ago." This is such a great use of simile to show your readers some of the narrator's experience. This initial paragraph hooked me and ensured I would not break free until the end. The matter-of-fact narration of the boy makes the horror of the situation even worse. You don't over-write it, and the result is a thoroughly immersive and emotive reading experience.

*BulletR* The story itself is wonderful. I wanted to know, had to know, what would happen. Obviously, the boy survived because he was remembering the events seventy years on, but I wanted to know how the English soldiers would fare. When Owen David Henri, and died in the process, I had a lump in my throat. But, the story itself is so interesting. From when Henri is hiding in the cupboard, to when the soldiers attacked the Germans, my heart beat a little quicker than normal. In a relatively short story, you created characters I really cared about. I love a story with great characters.

*BulletR* Your writing, Jace. Oh, my goodness. I don't think I've ever read your work before. You pulled me along in the world of the evacuation of Dunkirk in Word War II. Your story reminded me of the book 'Birdsong' by Sebastian Faulks in the way you gave the feeling of danger the characters experienced. The image and feeling of dust and being unable to see where that danger hides is clever. Henri coughs because of dust when he is in the cupboard, and he says at the end, "A boat horn shattered my reverie, and the dust that hung in my mind from the rubbled buildings cleared." I love that sentence.


Suggestions: Just a couple of things. Firstly, you say the soldiers all grew up together, " ...in a small town called Lancashire." Lancashire is actually a county in England, not a town. You could use, for example, "Blackburn, Lancashire," or "Bolton, Lancashire." Moving on to the text. "Aider! S'il vous plait!" "Aider" should be "aidez" if the boy is shouting for help. In fact, he would probably shout, "M'aidez" - "Help me." Also, you have typo here: "Apparently, they can'y commit their Armour units ..." It should be "can't."


Parting comments: This story is fantastic. I am officially a fan of your writing, and I will endeavour to read more in the future!


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review of Writing.Com 101  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi The StoryMistress ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked ... If I didn't already know how many things there are to do on Writing.com, a look at this page would have told me!

*Bulletr* Firstly, the first couple of paragraphs which introduce the rest of the page are really good. They tell your members how much the site has to offer, how many different kinds of things there are to do. These paragraphs also provide reassurance that the site isn't as daunting as we may think. And then, the Table of Contents sets out everything we need to know.

*BulletR* This is comprehensive and easy to understand. Everything is laid out with headings and sub-headings, all of which we can click on to gain the information provided. It couldn't be easier. I think the things I have find (and still do find) most useful are the items about creating different types of items, like crosswords and word searches. But, also information on creating items in general. This is a key component of Writing.com, so it is important to help people to use it. I like that you guide people through posting their items on this site. That is is important for newbies.

*BulletR* At the end, you have a 'Contact Us' section which is so refreshing because, nowadays, it is almost impossible to contact companies who provide you services. There is also a 'Help and Support' section which is equally useful.


Suggestions: I have none. I think you have everything covered here. I know there are separate guides to Writing ML, so you don't need a big write-up about that here.


Parting comments: I still refer to this page today. There are always little things I am unsure of, or don't have a clue about, and, without fail, this reference guide provides the answers. This is a vital part of Writing.com. Thank you for providing it.


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.
9
9
Review of Noticing Newbies  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi The StoryMistress ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked ... The inclusive feeling you give to the website's newer members.

*Bulletr* This forum is a great place for newbies to introduce themselves and find out more about other newbies, and also people who have been here a little longer. I remember when I first joined, I had some lovely responses from others, and I felt instantly welcomed into the community. That is probably the difference between sticking around and moving on to somewhere else. And that is what this forum is good at.

*BulletR* I was just reading through some of the more recent posts, and I can see this forum is still as active as ever. I've replied to a number of posts, myself, lately, and it has been great to feel like I am making people feel welcome.

*BulletR* The other thing that this forum does is signpost newbies where to go. It can be overwhelming when you first sign up because there is so much to do on here, but you have a list of some the site's other activities that will get people joining in . You also have links to the main places on here where we can learn how to participate. How to create items, reply to posts, connect with others through the newsfeed. Some of it may seem obvious to younger people who are used to the internet and sites like this. But, for other (older) members who are not used to living online (like me), this help is invaluable.

*Bulletr* Your links to reviewing groups is a really nice addition. I know when I first joined, I didn't know the first thing about how to review someone else's work. So, setting up a review template, knowing the kinds of things people wanted feedback on, was a bit daunting. So the groups you have linked will definitely help newbies who are unsure about the world of reviewing. I also like how you linked the two daily short fiction contests. These contests both helped me immensely when I was a newbie and didn't know what to write.


Suggestions: This forum is awesome as it is. I did wonder whether you have members whose 'job' it is to welcome others, to ensure every newbie gets a response. But, that said, it looks as though all post are replied to, anyway.


Parting comments: I am happy that "Game of Thrones encouraged me to do some red case reviews. I was surprised I hadn't already reviewed this forum. It is such a warm and welcoming place, and it is a lovely introduction to the website.


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.
10
10
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi QPdoll ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked ... I am. reviewing your contest forum today as our challenge in "Game of Thrones is to review lost treasures. I know I'm a little biased, but I believe this is one of those treasures.

*Bulletr* This contest always had a good number of entries, and that is because it is different to all other contests on this website. I think I'm right in saying there are no other contests that ban all forms of dialogue. Which makes this contest extra special. As I come to look at it today, I am doing so with fond memories.

*BulletR* The last time you ran this contest was in September last year. I love the image of the two white kitties with a birthday cake. I see that was designed by GERVIC 🐉 House Targaryen who is a very talented designer. Your main forum page is clearly laid out. The instructions are stated plainly, and the prompt is shown for all to easily see. I like that you allow any genre for entries. That opens the contest up to a wide range of members. And you always had good numbers of entries, as well. I think people enjoyed the challenge of writing without dialogue. I always enjoyed reading the talented writers who entered stories.

*BulletR* I like that you mention the different categories each entry would be judged under. It helped me, as a judge, as well as guiding your contestants. Additionally, I like that you have included examples of stories without dialogue, to inspire and aid everyone. 700 words, by the way, is the perfect number of words. It means the writer has to write concisely, using only the most important — and right — words.


Suggestions: Only the obvious one: hold the contest again, please. But, seriously, I understand why you haven't opened it for a while. If you do, though, count me in.


Parting comments: I am glad I had the opportunity to review this contest as a lost treasure. It has certainly earned that title over time.


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.
11
11
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Schnujo is Late to Lannister ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked ... I am reviewing this as one of my lost treasures during the epic "Game of Thrones challenges. I had a poke around your port, and this is what I found.

*Bulletr* I really like the name of 'Whatever Contest.' The fact that the prompts could be about anything appealed to me. It would appeal to others, as well, as is evidenced in the numbers of entries you received. I remember entering this and writing a letter with instructions for what to do should Ipass away. I gave my husband a copy (although, he refused to open it and stuffed the envelope away in his cupboard). I also gave a copy to my two best friends. Just to err on the side of caution. I remember reading the prompts for this contest, and thinking, That is something I must do. It was a great prompt to use. If not for this, I would never have even thought about writing it.

*BulletR* The contest itself had three prompts to choose from. I like that: a story, a poem and an essay (or, in this case, letter). That covers all bases for all members. It must have been difficult to judge such different kinds of entries. I can't remember whether you had prizes for each category?

*BulletR* I know how time-consuming it is to run contests and activities, so I understand why this contest has been closed since 2022. I also know that you are travelling at the moment, so have hardly any free time and your internet is sketchy. But, if you ever want to open this contest for another round, I will write an entry, for sure.


Suggestions: I know the contest is closed, so this is irrelevant at the moment. But it would be nice to have a section on your forum main page showing who the winners were of the latest round. Just something to think about.


Parting comments: I forgot to mention the graphics, but the way. The Whatever banner is fab, and I even like the Sorry Closed sign. Nice work!


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.
12
12
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Sssssh! I'm not really here. ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked ... For my final review of this enjoyable raid, I have decided to review this horror story.

*Bulletr* The first thing I want to say is "black moon desserts." What are they? They sound interesting. I really liked the humour in this story. When I read this, I chuckled: "the dance I had with some Frankenstein stepping on my toes just aggravated me enough to develop that headache." I could picture the big, cumbersome Frankenstein character dancing all over her toes. I could also imagine the desire to get away from the party. Who hasn't faked headaches or other ailments to leave somewhere early now and again? It is very relatable.

*BulletR* The Grim Reaper ... Ohh. He's a bad one, isn't he? When Sybil pulled in to the police station, you had you reader thinking she was safe. Mr. Smith had not been a crazy stalker, after all. He had been trying to save her. Even so, the tension you created through the whole car chase scene is fantastic. You had me on the edge of my seat. And then, you wrote, "At that point, my new hero, Mr. Smith interjected that he would be happy to drive me home." and I was screaming at Sybil to let the police drive her. But she didn't listen. She accepted the lift, went to Denny's with the Grim Reaper, and even fell asleep in his car. I wondered if he had slipped something into her drink to make her sleepy because falling asleep after almost being attacked by a stalker is not usual behaviour.

*BulletR* The end made me laugh. Not Sybil being crushed to death, but when she thought back on her feigned headache, and she considered the irony of the situation. I liked the unique method of murder this Grim Reaper chose. I honestly don't think I've read a story like this before. It kept me wanting to find out the conclusion. I was sure Mr. Smith would be a bad one, but I hoped I was wrong.


Suggestions: As before I will put my grammatical / Typo suggestions in a dropnote for you to view, should you so wish.
Grammar / Typo Suggestions


Parting comments: I have thoroughly enjoyed my poke around your portfolio. You write with a lot of heart and humour. Your creepy stories work really well, too, and you have a bunch of fabulous activities for the community to enjoy.

Thanks, Webbie!


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Sssssh! I'm not really here. ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked ...

*Bulletr* I love the buzz around this game every year. It is something that most people on here will have heard of, and many will have participated in. It creates a sense of fun and anticipation. The list of participants is huge. (Looking at the list, I don't think I took part last year. But I'm sure I did in previous years.) I remember this being exciting.

*BulletR* You don't charge people to guess at the numbers each day, and that is a big bonus for the activity. The prizes of gps every day and merit badges at the end helps to make this so popular. I like the fact that you hold this once a year, during WDC's birthday week only. That, also, adds to the excitement surrounding this activity. It makes it feel extra special.

*BulletR* The main forum page is attractive. Your picture of the black cat, wearing a purple and black hat, catches the eye immediately. And you have all the instructions laid out clearly, in sections. This makes it easy to understand what we need to do to participate. The different colours and fonts make the page even more interesting and eye-catching.


Suggestions: One thing I would add if I were you is a link for somewhere people can post donations. As I mentioned above, you don't charge people to enter, so I wonder whether it might help your own funds to have a donations link. I have a question: Are multiple people allowed to post the same guess? As I'm writing this, I realise they probably are. Otherwise, you would have limited guess places available. But, it might be good to say that multiple people can guess the same letter and number combination, and they will both get the same prize if they win.


Parting comments: I couldn't leave your portfolio without reviewing Angel Bingo. I remember having fun with it in the past. I really hope you bring it back this year. If so, I promise to take part.


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.
14
14
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Sssssh! I'm not really here. ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked ...

*Bulletr* What a beautiful memory. It sounds as those you had some precious, happy times with your mother and your family. There's nothing quite like a big family gathering, particularly when you are young. My mum was one of ten children, so I have a gazillion cousins, and we have always all gathered together twice a year. I remember those times when I was younger, playing hide and seek and other games with my cousins. Sneeking away to the park. Playing darts on my aunt's dartboard. Those times are special, and this memory of yours reminded me of those times. It's funny how someone else's memory can remind you of some of your own.

*BulletR* The use of music through this story really appeals to me. From the title song, to Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra, I love your mom's taste in music. I think music is the thing that can instantly transport me back in time quicker than anything else. I love music, and I find I have an emotional response to it a lot.

*BulletR* The picture of the children listening to horror story night is brilliant. You say there was "safety in numbers," and that made me laugh. Children and teenagers tend to go through a paranormal phase, don't they? Where they want to scare themselves witless, but they don't mind because they are with their friends at the time. For my friends and me, it was 'Poltergeist' and 'Nightmare On Elm Street.' We sneaked the videos into our bedrooms and watched them together. I remember being terrified a poltergeist would come and get me for months after watching that! *Laugh*


Suggestions: I wouldn't change a thing. This is your memory, straight from your heart, and I would never try to change that.


Parting comments: Once again, your writing has taken me on a reminiscing journey of some happy times when I was younger. Your mom sounds like a wonderful lady. She sounds as though she liked to have fun, and also to put on a great party and be a great host. I feel rather nostalgic after reading this. You have reminded me, I must give my aunt a ring today.


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Sssssh! I'm not really here. ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked: The hold you had over me for this whole story.

*Bulletr* Oh, Webbie. You've done it again. You have tugged on my heartstrings, making me feel so much empathy for your character. You even had my eyes misting over at the end. You have such a warm, genuine voice, and it sucks your readers in. The memories of wheat fields and running through them, the memories of being with a magical mother; it just moves me. We never get over losing our mothers, no matter how old we are, and the way you show Amanda at the end of the story, still having the same ritual of running through the wheat fields, pretending to be a unicorn, works. It just works.

*BulletR* I didn't make any notes while reading this, and usually I write a bunch so I can remember bits I want to point out. But, with this story, I was captivated. I couldn't take my eyes away from the page. I love how you mention the gold corn, and at the end you write the, "sun is shining its golden flecks over the field." (That's wonderful imagery, by the way.) The way you carry the golden colour though, as though you are thinking of the golden childhood image, the halcyon days when life was carefree and safe, is part of the reason why I liked this so much.

*BulletR* When I first started to read, I thought this was a biographical piece. But it isn't in your life experience folder, so I don't think it is. But that is testament to your writing because it sounds completely believable. The part where Amanda is staying with her aunt when her momma passes away is really emotional. I could feel for that poor, young girl. She must have felt so lonely and frightened. When she didn't believe her aunt, and insisted on going home to see her momma, it was so, so sad. Because we knew it was true.


Suggestions: Once again, I have none. If you changed this in any way, you would potentially detract from the emotion.


Parting comments: Wow. You write straight from your heart. I love it when I read other people's words, and they speak to me. And yours do. I loved this story!


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Sssssh! I'm not really here. ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked ...

*Bulletr* I know it's not Halloween, not even October, but I was drawn to the title of this story. That "gruesome gargoyle" made me smile. As I first read this flash fiction, I found myself really liking the old gargoyle. He (or she, I'm not sure) only gets to haunt and wreak havoc in the library for the month of October, so every year he packs as much naughtiness in as possible.

*BulletR* I did feel for the old librarian, I must admit. She ends up fainting after the gargoyle pushes some books in front of her in the aisle. And she is so disturbed, the emergency medics have to come out to her. I love how much the gargoyle feels happy about this. This sentence fragment — the one with all the fs — is so pleasing on the tongue: "the folly of the frail, fossil’s first freefall in fifty-five fortnights." The descriptions the gargoyle gives of the old librarian falling are funny, as well. He describes her falling backwards, legs in the air with her, "unmentionables all up close and personal." That made me laugh.

*BulletR* The gargoyle describes this: "I wander the aisles of the dust-covered books and breathe in their essence." and I can relate to it big time. I'm sure most of the people on this website can relate to it, too. I love the smell of books, and I get how the essence of them is what keeps the gargoyle alive. So to speak. Also, the fave beans and Chianti made me chuckle.

Suggestions: I have a few grammatical suggestions. I've put them in a dropnote so you may read them as you wish. Or not.
Grammatical Suggestions

Parting comments: This is a fun story, good at Halloween, or any other time of the year. Mostly, good if you want a giggle.


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
Review of Totem Wolf  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Sssssh! I'm not really here. ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked ...

*Bulletr* This poem is lovely. I've read it five times now, trying to soak in all the words, and I'm sure I've missed things. It feels like a poem about spirituality and discovering nature and Mother Nature, and finding out that we are connected to nature in a profound way. It is also a very feminine poem. In terms of being written from a feminine perspective, and from having feminine experiences.

*BulletR* I think most women will understand the struggle between who we want to be, who we are, and who our family wants / needs us to be. It's not that we would ever choose to not have them, but sometimes, we lose a little of ourselves along the way. However, in your poem, you discuss a kind of spiritual awakening. Once you have that, once you connect with Mother Earth, you are able to find yourself. At least, I think that's what you are saying.

*Bulletr* Technically, I don't think this poem is any set form, and this is absolutely right. You couldn't really write about the open-ness and freedom of spirituality in a poem where all your words and syllables were restricted. You do, however, have the odd internal rhyme, and you have used enjambment wonderfully. I love that little tool, so reading a poem that employs it as well as this one is a pleasure. I also found the poem has a great rhythm. It flows well, and your use of punctuation tells the reader how you want it to be read.

*BulletR* There are a couple of places I have to highlight, simply because I love them. "Hope is renewed, / in a bounty that never before existed." That wonder and awe is captured so nicely. Also, I love the imagery of the, "branches of great oaks and the sweet scent of maple after a pre-spring rain." That whole description is fantastic. Oak trees represent stability and trustworthiness, strength. And those pieces of scent you give us — of rain and maple — place us inside the poem world with you.

Suggestions: I have nothing. I would do nothing to change this.



Parting comments: This is an evocative poem. It (I think) gives a glimpse into your mindset. It's a great tale of a woman's awakening to spirituality and nature. I really enjoyed it.


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Sssssh! I'm not really here. ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked ...

*Bulletr* You have a wonderful collection of cNotes here. I'm not sure I've encountered your shop before, but I've added it to my favourites now. The illustrations themselves are unique. They look as though they have been drawn especially for your shop. I think my favourite cNote is the 'Happy Halloween' one. The mountain in the background, and the bat and witch on her broomstick, all make this cNote a great one to send at the end of October. Actually, I love the Halloween cat asleep on the pumpkin, too.

*BulletR* The Thanksgiving note, at the end, made me smile. I like how there is a wishbone in front of the turkey. I wonder if that bird knew its fate? I only discovered, when I married my American hubby, that you guys have turkey at Thanksgiving, but no so much at Christmas time. He always insists on a ham at Christmas. But, that's by the by.

*BulletR* The 'Boo Gram' made me laugh. I wonder if there are people who actually deliver 'Boo Grams.' There should be. Your Christmas 'Precious Moments' is a lovely picture. The young girl in her all-in-one pyjamas, leaving goodies out for Santa is so evocative of Christmases when I was a child. Memories of my parents come to mind. Happy memories. However, my favourite Christmas cNote is 'Holy Night.' There is something about the picture that catches my eye. I love the words, "A gift like no other." (I did have to make the page quite large, though, to be able to read them.)


Suggestions: Only one suggestion. While you cover most of the big holidays in this shop, I did wonder whether you could add a 4th of July cNote. That is the only place I see a (very) small gap in your selection.


Parting comments: This is a great cNote shop that, now I have it in my favourites, I will use when Halloween and Christmas come around.


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.
19
19
Review of Dog Gone Nights  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Sssssh! I'm not really here. ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked: Every single part of this story!

*Bulletr* I was drawn to this story by your intriguing title. Plus, any story with a dog in it, and I'm there. I think I laughed over every single line of this story. Your humour, your ability to laugh at yourself and the situation, is wonderful. Your narrative voice is warm and light. This all makes it a joy to read.

*BulletR* I love how you refer to this "gang dog" as being tough and "mostly mutt with attitude." That's so funny. I can picture him perfectly. You describe his bandana and the colours being those of the "Crips", and I could just about imagine him with a leather jacket, to boot. I have to say you describe this dog so well. The way he acted, and the way you reacted, is so funny. Your last line, where you say the dog and you, "had ourselves a little understanding" after you were firm with him and told him he was a bad dog. I guess he wasn't quite so tough, after all. The image of him running down the street, garbage bag hanging from his mouth, really made me laugh!

*Bulletr* This sentence is hilarious: "The next day I resolved to make Cujo my bitch." I love that. Also, you say you lay in wait with, "a hand on the garden sprinkler system ready to give that demon a good splash up his woo-hoo." And then, you say the dog liked the cooling spray. Oh, my. So funny.

*BulletR* I assume this is a true story. I can imagine my old dog, Alfie, would have rummaged around in our neighbours' bins, had he been able to break free. He was a big fan of rubbish. I can also imagine he would have run away carrying a bag or two in his mouth. This is what makes the story so funny. It is something a lot of us can relate to.

*Bulletr* Just a question. Did the dog visit other neighbours, do you know? Or did he hone in one you? Just wondering.


Suggestions: I have no suggestions, I'm afraid. I think your story is perfect as it is.


Parting comments: Oh, Webbie. I enjoyed this story so much. I can imagine your battle with this gang-dog. Both of you trying to outsmart the other. It's just so funny!


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
Review of The Stroll  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Sssssh! I'm not really here. ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked ...

*Bulletr* I like how you se up this story. You mention the precious cargo in the stroller, which piques our interest. When you revealed it was actually empty because her child had already passed away, oh, my heart! You really tugged at my heartstrings. I felt sad for this woman, but happy that she would be reunited with her child. I wondered what had happened to it.

*BulletR* I love how you show the woman's loved one in the book store. She can't catch his attention because he is too engrossed in the literature on offer. Not knowing how the story would end, I didn't pick up on your subtle clue, but when I realised what it was, I loved it. You bring everything together at the end with Willy and Jordan and their commentary on what happens when people pass away and how this woman didn't want to let go. I love these two (angels?). They kind of reminded me of Clarence in 'It's A Wonderful Life.'

*BulletR* My favourite thing about this story is the emotion. It has left me with a lump in my throat. My mum has been on my mind a lot lately because she passed away twelve years ago, in April. Plus, I am an only child. So this piece made me think about Mum, and wonder whether she will be waiting for me one day.


Suggestions: The only thing I wasn't entirely sure about was the main character's friend. Was she sitting alone because she was grieving? Or was she, too, dead? Are her loved ones in a separate room because they are dead and she is alive, or the other way around? I wasn't sure. If she is not dead, then how could she see the main character? (Maybe I'm overthinking this.)


Parting comments: This story pulls at the reader's heartstrings, but, ultimately, has a positive message that will provide comfort to anyone who is mourning loved ones. It is well written, and you have a narrative style that really appeals to me.

Most importantly, keep writing!


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Sssssh! I'm not really here. ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked ...

*Bulletr* I am perusing your portfolio today, hoping to conquer Door 13 in The House of Black and White. All you need to do is sit back and enjoy the review raid. I thought I would start with The Witch's Garden because it is a fun activity. It seems like yesterday, we were parading our festive handles for all to see. It gave the whole site a special, Christmassy feeling. And that was partly down to this forum.

*BulletR* The forum itself is clear and attractive in its mission. You state the instruction in a large enough print that those with older eyes (like me) can read it easily. I love all the emoticons you use. The baubles, Christmas presents and Santa hats and stockings decorate the page so that they catch our eyes.

*BulletR* I like how you tell us we can add a joke or song or a holiday recipe to our post, but it isn't compulsory. That is very inclusive. And it adds to the enjoyment for everyone who posts their own handle. And — may I be so bold as to say? — the prizes are fab. I enjoyed sending out lots of Coffee Creams and Strawberry Surprises. Thank you, for including my chocolate emporium.



Suggestions: I know you have a Halloween Handles contest (you are, after all the Witch of the Web), but you could also have a Valentine's Handle, or Thanksgiing. All kinds of handles contests. I know that would take up too much time, but it is just a thought.



Parting comments: This activity really helps to sprinkle some festive magic on Writing.com and its members. It's free to enter, and the prizes are great. I can't believe it has been four months since we all displayed our holiday handles. Time flies. It will be time for our Halloween handles before we know it.


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.
22
22
Review of ghost; defined  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Fivesixer

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked ..Every. Single. Thing.

*Bulletr* I hope you know (because I'm sure I've told you before) how much I love your poetry. It is the kind of poetry that reaches right inside and gives your heart a tweak. And I love poetry that does that. So this poem really appealed to me.

*BulletR* Your writing is so rhythmic and lyrical. It's kind of like a song, with the internal rhymes that are divine and the indents on certain lines, informing us how to read the lines. I only cottoned on to this playing with the whole form in the last couple of years, but when I see it in other people's poetry, it makes me happy. Even though this poem is actually really sad. When I read your poem, it feels like it is written to be spoken aloud. It has a natural rhythm that really works.

*BulletR* Which brings me on to the content. What a keen observation of society and how singletons are viewed and treated by those in couples. When I split from my ex, and before I married my hubby, my family all whispered to one another that I must be gay and closeted. Simply because I was in my thirties and single. Except for when they didn't notice me at all. Which was a lot of the time. But, that's my mini-rant over.

*Bulletr* I think the most poignant line, for me, is "Living in a shape." Wow. That feeling that you are nothing, you're insignificant. Even worse, you're invisible. Only the shell which carries you around. That line evoked a strong reaction in me. That's my favourite line. Another great line is: "You're a light / disbelieved." Also, when you when you write that you're living in a shell of self, " ...a blanket / of clouds shroud you out" is fab. I love the rhyme of "clouds" and "shroud."

Suggestions: I don't have any, I'm afraid. I honestly think this is perfect as is. My only suggestion would be to get this published, but you've done that already!


Parting comments: I don't normally gush like this at unsuspecting individuals, but after reading your poem, I had no choice. I am very happy to have reviewed you today.


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review of Love is Fear  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked ...

*Bulletr* Firstly, I love this song. Good choice. Secondly, huge kudos to you for writing this poem. You would think redaction poems would be easy, wouldn't you? All the words are already there. But, easy, they are not. You have written a really good poem, though. It makes sense (which is hard with redactions) and it actually moved me. Those first lines, "all our times / now they're gone" are so sad. They grab your reader's attention. We want to read more.

*BulletR* The second verse is the one that stands out to me. The story woven throughout your poem seems to be similar to the one in the song itself. But your poem is more succinct, and you draw your reader to the important parts of it. So, we see this woman who is mourning the loss (I'm not sure whether it is through a relationship breakup or through death) of a loved one. I read that she wants to be with him once more and that he appears to her, leading the way. Or, perhaps, he provides support from the afterlife. I'm not sure now. She must have to die because you write, "together in eternity" Yes. That's it.

*BulletR* Your imagery of, one day, all of us being able to fly when we leave this world, just like the seasons and the weather are able to do so now, is clever. Again, it could be read as we all have our moments in the sun. We all excel at something. We all have our chance to be our best us.


Suggestions: It took me a few reads to make the third line work. It didn't make sense to me that "seasons don't fear the wind, etc." I think I got it in the end, but I would maybe look at that if you ever revise this. My only other query is regards to the punctuation. I know that in free verse poetry, punctuation is not needed. I'm not sure of the rules in redaction poetry. But, I've had this point drummed into me many times: If you aren't going to use punctuation, then don't. At all. Or, use it wherever it should be. All or nothing. Now, I'm not saying I necessarily agree with that always, but it might have been good to have some end-of-line punctuation in this poem. Simply because you're cutting another poem up and putting words together that weren't intended that way. So, I think punctuation would make it clearer, in general.


Parting comments: This is a great read, Kiya. As I said, it is quite emotive, and I think most people will be able to relate to it.


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
24
24
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Lilith of House Martell ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked ... Every darn thing!

*Bulletr* I'm actually surprised I haven't reviewed your challenge before. I've been taking part since the very beginning. (Although I believe I am a week late at the moment, but I'll catch up.) Which leads me to my first thing I love about your challenge. You allow people to catch up when they fall behind. That has been such a godsend for me. I try to keep on top of activities, but sometimes there just aren't enough hours. So, yes. I love that you allow us to catch up. Actually, the whole challenge has a laidback, easygoing feeling. It feels like you created this contest to encourage people to write poetry and share their poetry, not to go on a power trip, chasing people up when they are late. That works for me.

*BulletR* Because you ask participants to pay into their layaway fund to earn their awardicon at the end of the year, I assume it increases the number of people who continue past the fourth week. That's such a good idea. I only just noticed the part where you say if people don't contribute, but complete the challenge, you will give them a 10K awardibcn. That's so nice.

*BulletR* Your instructions for how to take part couldn't be clearer. I love how you have highlighted the part about posting links to poems. Especially when you say you won't go hunting through people's portfolios to find their poems. I know exactly how time consuming and irritating that can be from my own contests and activities.

*Bulletr* As someone who is taking part in your challenge, I want to commend you for the prompts you give. In the fourth year now, I don't know how you keep coming up with them. They always feel fresh, as well. (Or maybe I just have a rubbish memory.)


Suggestions: I have no suggestions for improvement, But, if I may, I would like to suggest that you open Promptly Poetry for a fifth year when the time comes.



Parting comments:


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.
25
25
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Maryann - House Martell ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked:

*Bulletr* I wanted to review something a little different for my next anniversary review, so I chose a cNote shop. You had a few to choose from, but I opted for this one because I don't think I've used it before. I will rectify that in the future. It's a great shop with fabulous images and messages to suit most occasions. Additionally, the cNotes are really inexpensive. They are a super value for money.

*BulletR* I note you thanked Legerdemain for her help in making these images.That was kind of her, and I like that you acknowledge her help on the main page. As well as great images for the cNotes, you also have an appealing decoration in the information box. A teal flower that is very pretty. In this box, you note that all proceeds go to "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group. That is nice that you do that.

*BulletR* My favourite image has to be the one with sheep with twisty horns. These sheep are so funny. Or are they goats with crazy fleeces? I think they are sheep. But I love the expression on the face of the sheep facing the camera! Your birthday dinosaur is a cute one. I have friend who would love to receive that. Oh, I can't not mention the last cNote. "Wishes do come true." That is a lovely sentiment, and I think we could all use this message from time to time.


Suggestions: I am being picky again. This shop is called 'Greeting Cards For any Occasion,' but there are no 'Happy Anniversary' cards, also no 'Congratulations on Turning Yellow or Blue.' I don't know if ten cNotes is the limit for one shop? That may be why. And this shop has lot of other cards. Plus, I'm sure you have the cNotes in your other shops. But it's just an observation.


Parting comments: I've added this shop to my favourites because there are some great cNotes here, and I know I will have opportunities to use them in the future.

Happy anniversary!


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.
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