|Hi Bob retired
This review is in affiliation with "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" , and it's also part of "Celebrating Anniversaries" .
I've had a poke around your portfolio, as it's your account anniversary today, and this poem jumped out at me. It's so moving! I know, it's about a house, which isn't the kind of subject you imagine will be emotional. But it is! It really is. It reminds me of the song 'This Ole House.' That had a similar kind of feeling to it.
As I first read through, I wondered whether this is based on a house that you really know, or even, if it was about a house you once lived in. I think, probably, most of us know of places like this. When you look at their tumbledown state, it seems so sad. Years of happiness and laughter are contained within their walls, but all the memories are leaking out of the numerous cracks and holes. The second verse is the one that really highlights this. These lines, in particular; "This old house once shook with laughter / This old house has cried in pain." It makes me think of the house I grew up in, and all the things it witness—happy and sad.
I love how this poem flows beautifully, on the whole. The abcb rhyme scheme helps to give a great pace to the narrative. It's almost like a story of this house. Or a song, maybe.
I found my feelings shifting as I read through. At the beginning, I felt hope. You were listing the things the house needs, in order to be restored to a happy, family home. But, as the poem moves along, hope dissolves. The last verse, where you say, "This old house won’t get a funeral / This old house will fall one day" is so sad. It seems inevitable the house will collapse forever. I do, however, love the last two lines: "But I’ll recall its happy times / When I come out this way." This is a lovely ending, and I'm glad that the house will always be alive in your memory. Again, I wonder if it is a house you know well.
There are a couple of places where the rhythm is a little shaky. "Mother Nature’s claimed the house yard / It’s all in her domain." The first line doesn't seem to have the stresses in the right place, which makes the reader stumble and go back over it. Similarly, when I first read this, the last line seemed a little off, in terms of rhythm. Now I've read it a few times, though, and I know how it should sound, it does sound okay.
I really enjoyed reading this poem. I never would have thought I could feel so much emotional attachment to a house I've never seen. But I do. I found this really moving, and a great read.