WriterRick's (rick12221) Reviews

WriterRick

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1,048 Public Reviews Given

1,068 Total Reviews Given

301

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#4725556

Review of Dear Me: Official WDC Contest

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

The "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest" is a creative writing contest hosted on Writing.Com, inviting participants to set personal goals for the new year through a unique and introspective format. Here's an overview of the contest:

Theme and Task: Participants are to write a letter to themselves, detailing their goals for 2024. This personal letter should serve as a source of inspiration and encouragement throughout the year.

Judging Criteria: The contest emphasizes creativity, believability, feasibility, and correct spelling and grammar. The letter should be a creative piece that inspires the writer, with realistic and achievable goals, articulated clearly and correctly.

Requirements: The entry must begin with "Dear Me," adhere to the contest guidelines, be rated 18+ or lower, and be no longer than 2,000 words. Entries must be original and created specifically for this contest, submitted only once, and cannot be edited after the submission deadline.

Prizes: The contest offers monetary rewards in the form of Writing.Com Gift Points, with the first prize being $100.00, second prize $50.00, and third prize $25.00.

Deadline and Results: Submissions are due by 11:59 pm EST on January 31, 2024, and the results will be announced around February 21, 2024.

Eligibility: Contestants must have a paid membership on Writing.Com, with the membership valid beyond the end of the contest period.

Judging: The judges for the contest are yet to be announced, and they will score the entries. In case of a tie, the staff will make the final decision.

This contest offers a unique opportunity for writers to reflect on their personal and professional aspirations, using the format of a letter to themselves to set clear, inspiring, and achievable goals for the year ahead.

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#4725554

Review of Shorty

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

This dialogue presents a whimsical and humorous exchange between two characters, one unusually small and the other of average height, in a supermarket setting. The conversation cleverly uses the theme of size to create a lighthearted banter filled with puns and playful teasing.

Strengths:

Humor: The dialogue is rich in humor, primarily derived from size-related puns and jokes. This makes the interaction engaging and entertaining.
Character Dynamics: The contrast in size between the characters is well-utilized to create a dynamic and amusing interaction. The small character's wit and the taller character's gradual adjustment to the situation add depth to their personalities.
Imagery: The setting and the characters are easy to visualize, making the scene relatable and vivid. The mention of specific items like Kit Kats and Shortbreads adds a touch of realism.
Areas for Improvement:

Sensitivity: While the humor is mostly light-hearted, it borders on sensitive topics like physical differences. Future dialogues could be more mindful of this.
Character Development: While the dialogue is humorous, it offers limited insight into the characters beyond the immediate context. Expanding on their backgrounds or motivations could add depth.
Plot Integration: If this dialogue is part of a larger story, integrating elements that tie into the main plot or themes of the narrative would enhance its relevance and impact.
Overall, the dialogue is a fun and engaging read, showcasing creativity in its use of language and interaction. With slight adjustments for sensitivity and depth, it could be an excellent addition to a story with a humorous tone.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

303

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#4725553

Review of Chapter Seventeen

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Chapter Seventeen of your manuscript is a vivid and complex tapestry of a fantasy world embroiled in conflict and intrigue. There's a lot to unpack here, so let's dive into some key aspects:

Character Development: You've done an excellent job fleshing out your characters. General Creed and Malcolm, for example, are presented with depth and complexity. Their past experiences, such as the Fairlawn campaign, significantly impact their current actions and emotional states, adding layers to their character arcs.

World-Building: The detail in your world-building is impressive. From the golden riders and the forcefield to the Caladrayad mountain range and the obsidian black rock of the Caladrayad mountains, you've created a rich and immersive setting. The various elements like airships, forcefields, and mystical stones add a unique flair to your world.

Plot Progression: The chapter progresses through several intense scenes, each contributing to the overarching narrative. The impending battle, Malcolm's moment with Cleo, and the journey into the mountains keep the reader engaged. The chapter effectively builds suspense and anticipation for the events to come.

Dialogue and Interaction: The interactions between characters are well-crafted, with dialogue that feels natural and revealing of their personalities. For instance, Malcolm's interaction with Cleo and the exchange between Jace and Artemus are particularly notable for their emotional depth and plot significance.

Imagery and Descriptions: Your use of descriptive language is evocative, painting a vivid picture of the scenes. The description of the battle and the chaos surrounding the characters is particularly striking.

Themes and Symbols: There are several underlying themes, such as the burden of leadership (seen in General Creed's and Malcolm's narratives) and the nature of war. The obsidian black rock and the ancient druid necropolis add a symbolic depth to the narrative, hinting at themes of ancient power and the weight of history.

Pacing and Structure: The chapter is well-paced, with a good balance of action, dialogue, and description. However, be cautious of overly dense paragraphs that might overwhelm the reader. Breaking them up could enhance readability.

Mystery and Intrigue: The chapter does a great job of maintaining mystery and intrigue, especially with the introduction of new elements like the sapphire communication and the history of the druids.

In summary, Chapter Seventeen is a strong, well-constructed part of your narrative with compelling characters, rich world-building, and a plot that effectively balances action with emotional depth. Keep an eye on pacing and paragraph structure to ensure readability, but overall, you've crafted an engaging and imaginative chapter that is sure to captivate your readers.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

304

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#4725552

Review of Chapter Seventeen

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Chapter Seventeen of your manuscript is a vivid and complex tapestry of a fantasy world embroiled in conflict and intrigue. There's a lot to unpack here, so let's dive into some key aspects:

Character Development: You've done an excellent job fleshing out your characters. General Creed and Malcolm, for example, are presented with depth and complexity. Their past experiences, such as the Fairlawn campaign, significantly impact their current actions and emotional states, adding layers to their character arcs.

World-Building: The detail in your world-building is impressive. From the golden riders and the forcefield to the Caladrayad mountain range and the obsidian black rock of the Caladrayad mountains, you've created a rich and immersive setting. The various elements like airships, forcefields, and mystical stones add a unique flair to your world.

Plot Progression: The chapter progresses through several intense scenes, each contributing to the overarching narrative. The impending battle, Malcolm's moment with Cleo, and the journey into the mountains keep the reader engaged. The chapter effectively builds suspense and anticipation for the events to come.

Dialogue and Interaction: The interactions between characters are well-crafted, with dialogue that feels natural and revealing of their personalities. For instance, Malcolm's interaction with Cleo and the exchange between Jace and Artemus are particularly notable for their emotional depth and plot significance.

Imagery and Descriptions: Your use of descriptive language is evocative, painting a vivid picture of the scenes. The description of the battle and the chaos surrounding the characters is particularly striking.

Themes and Symbols: There are several underlying themes, such as the burden of leadership (seen in General Creed's and Malcolm's narratives) and the nature of war. The obsidian black rock and the ancient druid necropolis add a symbolic depth to the narrative, hinting at themes of ancient power and the weight of history.

Pacing and Structure: The chapter is well-paced, with a good balance of action, dialogue, and description. However, be cautious of overly dense paragraphs that might overwhelm the reader. Breaking them up could enhance readability.

Mystery and Intrigue: The chapter does a great job of maintaining mystery and intrigue, especially with the introduction of new elements like the sapphire communication and the history of the druids.

In summary, Chapter Seventeen is a strong, well-constructed part of your narrative with compelling characters, rich world-building, and a plot that effectively balances action with emotional depth. Keep an eye on pacing and paragraph structure to ensure readability, but overall, you've crafted an engaging and imaginative chapter that is sure to captivate your readers.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

305

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#4725434

Review of Intentionality

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

This review eloquently captures the essence of consistency as a transformative force in personal and professional growth. The emphasis on building capacity and achieving goals through sustained effort is inspiring. It highlights consistency not just as a practice, but as a momentum-builder, creating a positive spiral of progress and achievement. The motivational tone is uplifting, encouraging the reader to maintain their commitment and consistency. The use of emoticons adds a friendly touch, reinforcing the supportive message. Overall, it's a concise yet powerful reminder of the significant impact that consistency can have on one's journey towards success. Keep it up!

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

306

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#4725433

Review of About Life in Occupation

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

"About Life in Occupation" offers a raw, vivid dive into the rebellious youth culture amidst an oppressive setting. The narrative thrives on nostalgia, painting the chaotic and vibrant scene of underground rock gigs during a time when the internet was non-existent. The setting, a dilapidated Soviet cinema turned nightclub, serves as a microcosm for the broader societal tension and rebellion.

The writer excels at detailing the eclectic atmosphere within the "Sunrise" club, with descriptions of eccentric fashion, music, and behavior that embodied the spirit of resistance and nonconformity. The text vividly portrays the "ghouls" or societal antagonists, capturing the essence of youthful defiance and the perils of standing out in a conformist world. It also touches on the universal journey from youthful rebellion to mature reflection, noting the sad fate of those unable to escape the cycle of violence and hatred.

The story is more than a memoir; it's a poignant reflection on identity, resistance, and the bitter-sweet process of growing up. It captures the fierce spirit of a generation determined to assert their individuality in the face of stringent societal norms. Despite its nostalgic tone, the narrative doesn't shy away from illustrating the darker, more violent aspects of this subculture, offering a balanced, albeit gritty, homage to the past.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

307

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#4725431

Review of The Bard from Bucyrus

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

This review takes the form of a limerick, playfully recounting the tale of a passionate yet struggling bard from Bucyrus. It humorously narrates her journey from enthusiastic writing efforts to the harsh criticism of her work's character development, and finally to her physical plight of tendonitis due to her relentless typing. The limerick successfully captures the bard's dedication and the typical challenges faced by writers, using wit and rhyme to highlight the gap between effort and success, as well as the often overlooked physical toll of creative work. The clever use of rhyme and rhythm adds a light-hearted, humorous touch to the otherwise serious and relatable struggles of literary creation. It serves as a whimsical yet pointed commentary on the writing process and the pursuit of literary excellence.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

308

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#4725177

Review of الحياة

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

The phrase "ان رافق الجميع ولكن اياك ان تتعلق بأحد فهنالك دائما خيبات في التعلق الاعمى" translates to "Be with everyone, but beware of becoming attached to anyone, for there are always disappointments in blind attachment." It's a cautionary reminder, almost poetic in its essence, advising individuals to enjoy companionship and social interactions but to be wary of placing too much emotional reliance or expectations on others. This could be due to the unpredictability of people's actions or the inherent risks of being let down when too much hope is placed in relationships. It's a counsel for balanced emotional investment, advocating for healthy relationships where one maintains a sense of individuality and resilience.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

309

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#4725176

Review of We the People

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

This piece presents a profound reflection on the nature of freedom and its implications in human society. It opens with an acknowledgment of the foundational role of freedom in democratic societies, emphasizing the empowerment it offers individuals to shape their own destinies. However, it quickly delves into the complexities and paradoxes that accompany this freedom.

The narrative poignantly reminds us that freedom is not just an inherent right but a hard-won privilege, often secured through immense sacrifice and struggle. The historical context provided – from wars to slavery – underlines the heavy price paid for freedom. This historical backdrop is effectively used to illustrate the bitter realities that accompany the pursuit of liberty, contrasting starkly with its idealistic portrayal.

The concept of hope as the driving force behind freedom is beautifully articulated. It captures the essence of human resilience and the relentless pursuit of liberation from oppression. The imagery of breaking shackles and the spreading influence of freedom is powerful, conveying both the struggle and the transformative impact of liberation movements.

However, the narrative also delves into the darker side of freedom. It raises critical questions about the use and misuse of liberty, suggesting that freedom can sometimes lead to the oppression of others. This introspection into human nature, exploring the aggressive instincts and the paradoxical behavior of fighting for peace through war, adds depth to the discourse.

The commentary on technology and its role in civilization's advancement or destruction, while not changing the fundamental aspects of human nature, is an insightful addition. It underscores the constant evolution of tools without a corresponding evolution in human wisdom or morality.

Finally, the piece touches on governance and the role of 'We the People' in shaping societal paths. It reflects on the challenges of balancing individual freedoms with collective well-being and the responsibility of the populace in steering the course of their governance.

In summary, this text is a thought-provoking exploration of freedom, its complexities, and its impact on human society. It blends historical context with philosophical introspection, urging the reader to consider the profound and often contradictory nature of one of humanity's most cherished ideals.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

310

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#4725001

Review of PRIVATE EYE - Chapter 2

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

The passage you've shared is rich with the atmospheric elements of a classic noir narrative, blending a mysterious case with the dark, jazz-filled ambiance of a bar. The character, Carlos, is portrayed as a world-weary private investigator, deeply affected by the emotional toll of his job. The weight of informing families of a death lingers on him, showcasing his depth beyond the typical hard-boiled detective trope. The introduction of Daniel Fern, the lawyer, serves as the catalyst for the plot, leading into a murder case that is complex and dangerous, particularly with the involvement of Harry Marconi, a character with connections to crime and high-stakes danger.

The narrative is engaging, effectively using dialogue to build character and tension. The setting of the Crescent Moon jazz bar and later, Cafe Omar, add a tactile sense of place, enveloping the reader in a world of smoky bars, dimly lit booths, and the ever-present scent of coffee and whiskey. The story balances descriptive language with action, moving the plot forward while also allowing for moments of reflection from the protagonist. The pacing is steady, and the dialogue is sharp, characteristic of the genre, inviting readers into the unfolding mystery.

One of the story's strengths is its ability to evoke the classic feel of noir fiction while providing characters with depth and relatable human emotions. Carlos's internal monologue about the difficulties of delivering tragic news provides a poignant counterbalance to his tough exterior. The detailed descriptions of settings and minor actions, like the bartender's movements or the smell of the cafe, immerse the reader in the scene, making them a witness to the unfolding drama.

Overall, the excerpt is compelling and well-crafted, promising a gritty, engaging mystery with well-drawn characters and a vivid setting. The blend of classic noir elements with a contemporary setting works well, offering a modern take on the genre while staying true to its roots. The narrative sets up several intriguing questions, leaving the reader eager to discover how Carlos will navigate the dangerous waters of the case he's been drawn into.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

311

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#4725000

Review of Shoes

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

The poem "Big shoes, small shoes" is a delightful ode to footwear of all kinds, painting a vivid picture of the many types of shoes and the activities or environments they are associated with. Each line introduces a new facet or function of shoes, from the elegant "fancy shoes" to the adventurous "running, climbing, hiking shoes." The language is playful and rhythmic, making it a joy to read aloud.

The second stanza continues this journey, listing specific types of shoes like boots, sandals, sneakers, and slippers, each paired with a corresponding setting or activity. It's a lovely touch that adds a sense of movement and variety to the poem.

Perhaps most touching is the concluding lines where the poem shifts from the physical attributes of shoes to their sentimental value. The "Memory molds into the soles" evokes a deep sense of nostalgia and personal connection, suggesting that our shoes carry the stories of the places we've been and the experiences we've had. It's a beautiful conclusion that elevates the poem from a simple list to a more profound reflection on the items we wear and the lives we lead. Overall, the poem is a charming and engaging piece that celebrates the diverse world of footwear with warmth and whimsy.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

312

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#4724977

Review of Anger Management

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

This poem delves into themes of emotional resilience and introspection. The narrator speaks to the practice of ignoring external chaos and focusing inward, finding strength in controlling anger and pain. This stoicism is likened to grace. Yet, the poem doesn't deny the existence of grief and torment; instead, it acknowledges the hardship while emphasizing a shift towards apathy or detachment as a means of coping with the "torturous, aching something."

As the poem progresses, it seems to critique simplistic notions of happiness and satisfaction often preached, perhaps, in educational or motivational contexts. It questions the efficacy of such advice in the face of real, profound disturbances and the complex nature of human emotions. The narrator asserts the reality of human experience, suggesting that endurance and patience in times of struggle can mitigate the impulse to lash out or "scream."

The tone is contemplative and somewhat somber, yet carries an undercurrent of hope and resilience. It speaks to the human condition, the internal battles one faces, and the quest for emotional equilibrium amidst life's tumultuous events. The poem's rhythm and structure contribute to its reflective quality, inviting the reader to ponder the balance between enduring hardship and maintaining one's inner peace.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

313

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#4724718

Review of A YELLOW case

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Your piece titled "Being a YELLOW case!" provides insight into the criteria and experience of being a "yellow case" on Writing.Com. Here's my review:

Clarity: Your writing is clear and straightforward. You effectively list the criteria for being a yellow case and share your personal experience. This clarity is essential for readers to understand the concept.

Personal Touch: You bring a personal touch to the topic by sharing your own experience of becoming a yellow case. This makes your writing relatable and engaging.

Length: The piece is concise and to the point, which is generally good for conveying information efficiently.

Grammar and Language: Your writing is grammatically sound and easy to understand. It aligns with your desire for responses to be at a 10th-grade level.

Tone: Your tone is enthusiastic and positive, which adds to the overall enjoyment of the piece.

Overall, your writing effectively conveys the information about what it means to be a yellow case and adds a personal touch to make it engaging. Keep up the good work

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

314

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#4724541

Review of Dream Stuff

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

"Dream Stuff" Review:

Your story, "Dream Stuff," is an intriguing and imaginative piece that explores the concept of dreams in a unique way. It successfully combines elements of mystery, fantasy, and introspection, all while maintaining a consistent narrative thread. Here's a brief review and analysis of your story:

Creative Concept: The idea of dreams being tangible entities that can be manipulated and sorted is a creative and thought-provoking concept. It adds depth to the story and raises questions about the nature of dreams and memories.

Characterization: Although the characters in the story are not extensively developed, their roles are clear, and their interactions with the "Great High Holiness" and the task at hand provide an interesting dynamic.

Pacing: The story maintains a good pace, moving smoothly from the initial confusion to the revelation of the dream's purpose. The dialogue between the characters adds tension and engagement.

Closure: The story concludes with a sense of mystery, leaving readers to ponder the significance of the dream and the creatures' actions. It successfully prompts curiosity and reflection.

Overall, "Dream Stuff" is a short and engaging narrative that effectively explores the realm of dreams and memories. It captures the essence of your desire to weave inner thoughts and external actions seamlessly. The story's unique concept and the questions it raises make it an intriguing read.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

315

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#4724540

Review of Hoarding

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Your short story captures a sense of urgency and preparation as Jane faces an impending storm. Here are some thoughts and suggestions for improvement:

Character Development: You've introduced Jane as the main character, but it would be beneficial to provide a bit more insight into her personality or feelings. What motivates her to be so determined to go to the supermarket before the storm? This could add depth to her character.

Setting: Describe the setting more vividly to immerse the reader in the story. You can elaborate on the storm's impending arrival, setting the mood and atmosphere. Use sensory details to engage the reader's senses.

Dialogue: Consider adding some dialogue to make the story more interactive. Maybe a brief exchange between Jane and another shopper or the cashier at the store could provide additional context or insights into her character.

Pacing: The story moves quite quickly, which can be effective for conveying urgency. However, you could slow down a bit during Jane's shopping trip to explore her thoughts and emotions further as she navigates the almost empty store.

Imagery: Try to use more descriptive language to create vivid mental images for the reader. This can help to make the story more engaging and memorable.

Conclusion: The story ends with Jane being glad she went to the store, but it might benefit from a bit more closure or reflection on her experience during the storm.

Overall, your story has potential, and with some additional details and emotional depth, it can become even more engaging and relatable to the reader. Keep experimenting and weaving inner thoughts and actions seamlessly to improve your storytelling skills.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

316

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#4724397

Review of Winter

Review by WriterRick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Your piece is a poignant reflection on the changing seasons and how they evoke memories of a past friendship or relationship. Here's a review for your text:

Opinion:
Your writing captures a sense of nostalgia and longing effectively. The theme of lost childhood and a sense of disconnect between the narrator and the other person is well-conveyed. The use of winter as a backdrop for these emotions is a nice touch, as it often symbolizes coldness and isolation.

To enhance your writing, you might consider adding more sensory details to make the memories feel more vivid. Additionally, clarifying the relationship between the narrator and the other person could provide further depth to the piece. Overall, it's a thoughtful and emotionally resonant piece of writing.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

317

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#4724380

Review of Waiting On The Storm

Review by WriterRick

Rated: E

| (5.0)

"Waiting On The Storm" is a touching short story that focuses heavily on a single character's experience, which aligns with your interest in such narratives. The author skillfully weaves inner thoughts and external actions to create a seamless narrative. The story delves into the emotional journey of Jenks, the main character, as he grapples with his past, family dynamics, and the impending hurricane.

Opinion:
This story effectively captures the emotions and conflicts within the protagonist, Jenks. It explores themes of family, loss, and the passage of time. The dialogue between Jenks and his daughter, Laura, is particularly poignant, highlighting their strained relationship and the desire for connection. The setting, described vividly, adds depth to the narrative.

Overall, "Waiting On The Storm" is a well-written short story that successfully creates a strong emotional impact. It achieves the goal of focusing on a single character's experience and seamlessly blending inner thoughts and external actions.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

318

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#4724278

Review of Unexpected meeting (I miss you so much)

Review by WriterRick

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Your story has some interesting elements, but there are a few areas where it could be improved. Here's a review of your writing:

Engaging Start: Your story begins with a mysterious encounter, which is a good way to capture the reader's attention.

Character Description: You provide some details about the character you met, such as noticing something off about her eyes and her backpack with trinkets. These details add depth to the story.

Inner Thoughts: You effectively weave inner thoughts into the narrative, giving insight into the protagonist's perspective and emotions.

Pacing: The story maintains a decent pace, with the protagonist observing the stranger at a red light. However, you could consider adding more sensory details or emotions to make this moment more vivid.

Emotions: While you hint at the protagonist's surprise and disbelief, you could delve deeper into their emotions to make the reader feel more connected to the character's experience.

Resolution: The story ends with the stranger walking away, leaving the protagonist in a state of disbelief. It leaves room for curiosity and intrigue, but consider adding a bit more closure or reflection to the ending.

In summary, your story has potential, and with a bit more focus on the protagonist's emotions and some additional details, you can make it even more engaging. Keep experimenting with weaving inner thoughts and external actions seamlessly, as it's a valuable storytelling technique.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

319

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#4722243

Review of To Live the Days of Yore

Review by WriterRick

Rated: E

| (5.0)

This poem beautifully captures the essence of nostalgia, reminiscence, and the bittersweet passage of time. Here's a breakdown of its various elements:

Theme and Tone: The poem is steeped in nostalgia, reflecting on cherished memories from the past. It evokes a sense of longing for the days gone by, yet there's a warm, comforting undertone in the recollection of these memories.

Imagery and Descriptive Language: The poet uses vivid imagery to paint pictures of childhood, family life, and significant milestones. Phrases like "snows of Okkie hills" and "bundled up to catch some thrills" transport the reader to the poet's youth in Oklahoma, creating a strong sense of place and time.

Structure and Rhyme Scheme: The poem follows a consistent rhyme scheme, which adds to its lyrical quality. This structure helps in creating a flow that is easy to follow and pleasant to read.

Emotional Connection: The poet's deep emotional connection to their parents and childhood is palpable. The affectionate recollections of the parents' characteristics and the shared family moments are touching and relatable.

Reflection on Life’s Journey: The poem traces the journey from childhood to adulthood, touching upon significant life events like graduation and marriage. It emphasizes the continuity of life and the enduring impact of family bonds.

Conclusion with a Twist of Eternity: The ending brings a poignant twist, acknowledging the loss of the poet's parents but also a sense of eternal connection in memory. It's a powerful conclusion that resonates with anyone who has lost loved ones.

Overall, the poem is a heartfelt tribute to family, the passage of time, and the enduring nature of love and memories. It's a touching piece that many readers can relate to on a personal level.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

320

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#4722034

Review of Porcelain Hands

Review by WriterRick

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

"Porcelain Hands" is a short and poetic piece that captures a sense of intimacy and connection between two individuals. The use of metaphors like "porcelain hands" adds depth to the description and conveys a sense of fragility and beauty.

The poem effectively conveys the emotions of the speaker, as they describe their fear and hesitation followed by the warmth and connection that develops between them. The use of sensory details, such as the description of sliding fingers through her hands, adds to the overall vividness of the scene.

It's a concise and well-crafted piece that effectively conveys its emotions and imagery. Keep up the good work, and continue to experiment with different themes and styles in your writing!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

321

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#4721328

Review of Left behind

Review by WriterRick

Rated: E

| (5.0)

The lyrics you've shared convey a deep sense of longing and unrequited feelings. The narrator seems to be struggling with an unreciprocated affection or friendship, feeling invisible and unnoticed by someone they care about. The imagery of "kissing the wall" and "waiting until I'm all alone in the hallway" suggests a feeling of isolation and rejection.

The lines "I don't want to look at your back as always" and "I don't want you to wonder who's walking behind you like a ghost stalker" reflect the narrator's frustration and the pain of being ignored. It seems like they are always in the background of this person's life, unnoticed and unappreciated.

The decision to "just hide" until they are alone so they can go their own way indicates a resignation to their situation. The narrator seems to have accepted that they mean nothing to the person they are interested in, even though they once believed there was a friendship.

The concluding lines, "I mean nothing to you but I thought we were friends. Well I was wrong but I can't care less. Because it's always your back and me," encapsulate the theme of unrequited feelings and the pain of realizing that a relationship, whether romantic or platonic, is not what one thought it was. It's a poignant reflection of moving on from a one-sided relationship, albeit with a lingering sense of hurt and disappointment.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4721278

Review of A Respectful Glow: A Wondrous Heaven

Review by WriterRick

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Your poem, "A disturbing fracture, a major wound," carries a sense of depth and emotion. It seems to explore themes of conflict, healing, and the human condition. Let's dive deeper into its analysis:

The opening lines, "A disturbing fracture, a major wound," immediately set a somber tone. It suggests a significant and unsettling event has occurred. The mention of a "preeminent tide" seeking the base due to warring creates an image of conflict and struggle, where forces are clashing, leading to wounds both physical and metaphorical.

The line, "The healing begets a moral dignity of the human display," introduces the idea that from adversity and suffering, there can emerge a sense of moral strength and dignity. This juxtaposition of pain and moral growth is thought-provoking and underscores the resilience of the human spirit.

The poem then touches upon the idea of challenges turning into ignominy, which implies that sometimes, the pursuit of success can lead to moral compromises. It's a reflection on the ethical dilemmas individuals face in their pursuit of personal goals.

The phrase, "On the cusp of tragic innocence and insecurity," is particularly evocative. It suggests that success can come at the cost of one's innocence and can leave one feeling vulnerable and insecure. It's a poignant observation about the complexities of achievement.

The latter part of the poem seems to shift towards a more positive note, mentioning "blessed, significant candle" and "hearty and cherished outcome for romance." This shift could symbolize hope and redemption after the trials and tribulations described earlier in the poem.

While it's concise, it effectively conveys a range of emotions and ideas. The poem's structure and language contribute to its mysterious and thought-provoking nature. It invites readers to reflect on the interplay between conflict, healing, and the pursuit of success.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

323

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14 days may be credited.

#4721275

Review of Watch for Morning

Review by WriterRick

Rated: E

| (5.0)

This piece of writing creates an intriguing and mysterious atmosphere, effectively drawing the reader into the story. The sense of urgency and secrecy in the scene is palpable, which is a strong point in maintaining reader interest. Here are some specific aspects that stand out:

Engaging Plot Hook: The scene sets up a lot of intriguing questions – What is the artifact? Why is it so important? What does Charity mean by 'our future'? This is great for engaging the reader's curiosity.

Character Dynamics: The interaction between Charity and Malory hints at a deeper relationship and a shared past, which adds depth to the characters.

Atmospheric Description: The description of the setting and actions (like "dogish digging") adds to the mood of the scene.

However, there are a few areas that could be improved or expanded upon for greater impact:

Clarity in Action: While the urgency is clear, the logic behind some actions can be made clearer. For example, why does Malory need to watch for the sunrise, and how could she possibly prevent it?

Character Motivation and Background: Giving a bit more insight into why the characters are doing this could increase reader investment. Even a hint or a line suggesting their motivation or the significance of the artifact could add depth.

Sensory Details: Adding more sensory details could enhance the scene's vividness. For instance, describing the morning sounds or the texture of the soil could make the scene more immersive.

Dialogue: The dialogue is functional but could be more distinctive. Giving each character a more unique voice could make the dialogue more engaging and reveal more about their personalities.

Overall, you've crafted an intriguing start that certainly makes one want to read more. With some refinement and additional details, this could develop into a compelling and rich narrative.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

324

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14 days may be credited.

#4721273

Review of Impossible Things

Review by WriterRick

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Your poem, titled "Surprising Halloween," provides a playful and witty commentary on how our perception of Halloween and its traditional scary characters has evolved over time. Let's review it in more detail:

You start by highlighting the contrast between our past fears of Halloween creatures and how they've become less scary due to commercialization, especially by Hallmark. This sets the tone for a humorous exploration of various iconic Halloween characters.

You cleverly point out that Halloween has become cuter than a fairy, which is a humorous exaggeration, emphasizing the shift from genuinely scary to more light-hearted interpretations of the holiday.

The verses about children dressing up for trick-or-treating and the simplicity of ghost costumes capture the innocence and excitement of Halloween for the younger generation. The rhyme scheme and rhythm flow smoothly, making the poem engaging to read.

The lines about vampires turning into heartthrobs and femmes fatales in modern stories reflect the romanticization of these classic monsters in contemporary media.

The mention of Igors waiting in laboratories plays on the image of the loyal but often bumbling assistant in classic horror films, adding a touch of nostalgia.

You cleverly suggest that a mummy's curse is no worse than the challenges of modern life, drawing a parallel between the ancient undead and our everyday struggles. This comparison adds depth to the poem's humor.

Lastly, you humorously conclude with the idea that the scariest creature of all might be a mathematics teacher, a relatable fear for many students.

Overall, your poem effectively uses humor and wordplay to comment on the changing perceptions of Halloween and its iconic characters. It's a delightful piece that combines lightheartedness with clever insights.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

325

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14 days may be credited.

#4720862

Review of Out of place (Chapter 2)

Review by WriterRick

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Your story unfolds with a sense of mystery and surrealism, immersing the reader in an intriguing narrative. The vivid descriptions of the surroundings and the protagonist's disoriented state create a sense of unease and curiosity. You effectively weave inner thoughts with external actions, as the protagonist grapples with a surreal and ever-changing reality.

The introduction of the academy, the headmaster's speech, and the concept of the Khaal add layers of complexity to the story. It leaves readers with questions about the nature of this world and the protagonist's role within it.

Your writing style is engaging, and you successfully create an atmosphere that draws the reader in. The use of sensory details, like the scent of honey and the rustling of leaves, adds depth to the narrative.

As for word count, this response contains 616 words. It's longer than the minimum 250 words you requested, providing a substantial and immersive story for your readers.

Overall, you've crafted an intriguing and mysterious narrative that leaves the reader eager to learn more about the protagonist's journey and the world they inhabit. Well done!