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Review of Colors of Morning  
Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem, "Dawn's Bright Canvas," beautifully captures the transition from night to dawn in a natural setting, depicting it as an art piece brought to life. The metaphor of dawn as an artist, or a canvas, preparing to receive the strokes of daylight is incredibly evocative. This notion provides a sense of purpose and anticipation, not just for the rising sun but also for the creatures and elements that make up this picturesque scene.

Your use of descriptive language—such as "dark and silent mountains," "deep canyons," and "stoney gorge"—adds layers to your canvas, providing texture and depth. This helps readers visualize the natural elements you're referring to. Your wording choices like "intone their gratitude" and "echoes through a stoney gorge" imbue the scene with a spiritual quality, making it seem as if nature itself is partaking in a morning ritual of awakening and thankfulness.

The poem also suggests a sense of universal harmony. Nature, light, and life are connected in a web of beauty and gratitude, highlighted by the words "creatures wake, stretch, and intone their gratitude for another day of life." This conveys the idea that the natural world, too, appreciates the beauty and opportunity each new day brings.

You employ simple yet profound language to convey complex emotions and observations, making the poem accessible yet rich in meaning. It's like a morning itself—seemingly simple yet full of the promise and complexity that a new day brings.

If I were to offer a suggestion, consider diving deeper into the spectrum of emotions you mention. This could add another layer of complexity to your poem, perhaps showing how different creatures or elements feel as the dawn breaks.

Overall, your poem is a well-crafted snapshot of a moment in time, a celebration of the everyday miracle that is a new day. It's a joyful read that evokes a strong sense of place and emotion, inviting the reader to ponder their own gratitude for the beauty and opportunity that each dawn brings.


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Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your piece is a compelling narrative, rich in both atmosphere and emotional depth. It's a sweeping story that navigates through time, presenting a forlorn library as the central entity that's almost anthropomorphized. The library not only holds stories but has a story of its own—one of loss, solitude, and, eventually, a form of redemption.

The magical elements woven into the story—the self-rewriting books, the shifting shelves—add a whimsical layer to the narrative. These details make the library feel like a living, breathing character with its own desires and limitations.

One of the most evocative elements is the hyacinth that sprouts from the library's floor. This flower, paired with its symbolic meaning of "Please forgive me," adds an emotional punch to the narrative, allowing you to convey a complex set of emotions without explicitly stating them. This is excellent show-don't-tell storytelling.

However, the story is not without its issues. While the prose is rich, there are moments where the story might benefit from tighter sentences. The narrative is long and winding, which might be by design to convey the timeless existence of the library, but it occasionally risks losing the reader's attention.

There's also a minor concern about pacing. The story starts with the long history of the library, and then suddenly jumps to a wartime backdrop and then to the arrival of the boy. While each segment is engaging in its own right, a more seamless transition between these parts could make the story more cohesive.

Additionally, the ending leaves some questions unanswered. What happens to the library after the boy leaves? How does the city rebuild, if at all? While ambiguity isn't necessarily a flaw, the promise of the boy's return might need a subsequent narrative arc for closure.

Overall, your narrative is emotionally engaging and rich in imagery and symbolism. It's a heartfelt ode to the power of stories and the timeless entities that house them. While there are areas for improvement, the narrative is strong, leaving a lasting impression on the reader.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The Fur Blur  
Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
I appreciate the chance to review your poem, "Kitty Kitty." It's a succinct, playful composition that captures the essence of a cat's seemingly spontaneous and curious nature. The use of rhyme makes it engaging and easy to read, while the imagery draws the reader into a common yet captivating moment in a cat's life—the ever-elusive chase of the red laser dot.

The first two lines, "Kitty kitty with your messy fur / you moved so fast you're but a blur," do a good job of setting the scene. They not only establish the subject but also offer sensory details that paint a vivid picture. The notion of the cat being "but a blur" imparts the swiftness and agility of its movements.

However, the line "When you came to a halting stop" might benefit from a bit of rewording. While the word "halting" successfully conveys the abruptness of the cat's action, it may feel slightly out of place in the overall flow of the poem. Perhaps using a word like "sudden" could maintain the meaning while offering better rhythm.

The last line, "there in front of you was the big red dot," ties the poem together nicely by introducing the object of the cat's pursuit. It gives closure, but also leaves room for the reader's imagination to fill in what happens next in this never-ending chase.

From an opinionated standpoint, I believe that the poem would be more engaging if you add a little more about the cat's emotions or thoughts. Is it frustrated, obsessed, or simply playful in its pursuit of the red dot? Adding this layer could bring more depth to your poem.

All in all, the poem is charming and relatable for anyone who has observed a cat in such playful moments. With some minor tweaks, it could be even more impactful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
The poem presents a compelling meditation on the tension between individuality and the societal norm, between aspiration and reality. Your work taps into the universal sentiment that we all, at times, feel misunderstood or undervalued, symbolized through the invisible "crown" that others fail to recognize.

The first stanza exposes a rather cynical view of humanity, criticizing what you perceive as a monotonous, uninspiring mass of people ("They really are, such a lot of bores"). This sets the tone for the speaker's frustration with the sameness around them. The line, "If I had my hand in everyone's pockets, What would I find in yours?" is particularly intriguing as it suggests an attempt to understand others, albeit in a rather intrusive way.

The second stanza dives further into the speaker's own self-perception. While the speaker admits to being "such a lying clown," they also lament that others are not perceptive enough to recognize their unique virtues, represented metaphorically as a "crown." This dichotomy illustrates the intricate dance between self-perception and how the world perceives us.

The last stanza draws attention to the overwhelming pull of the mundane, despite dreams and aspirations that may point us toward grander adventures, like "travelling in rockets." The phrase "mundanity is calling" functions as a sardonic acceptance of life's ordinary aspects, almost a resigned sigh.

Your poem has a quality that both comforts and disconcerts, highlighting the contradictions inherent in the human experience. However, the somewhat ambiguous phrasing may leave some readers puzzled; the clarity of the message could be improved to offer more direct insight. Overall, the piece serves as an intriguing critique of societal norms and the struggle between one's inner world and the external expectations that surround them.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem "Sam Adams Last Frog Legs Dinner" presents an interesting narrative with a darkly comedic twist. While the poem starts as a simple story of a man sitting down to enjoy a meal of frog legs, it ends with an unexpected turn where the frog takes control of its destiny. This subversion of expectations gives the piece a shock value that's memorable. The poem is timely and appropriate, given that the date includes both World Storytelling Day and World Frog Day, creating a fusion of these two themes.

In terms of improvements, the poem could benefit from more descriptive language to create a vivid setting and atmosphere. Given that Sam Adams is a historically significant figure in American history, adding context or imagery that nods to this could add another layer to the poem. The pacing is quick, which works well to deliver the surprise ending, but the rhythm could be smoothed out to offer a more pleasant reading experience.

Regarding the prompts, each has its own potential for storytelling:

World Storytelling Day: This day celebrates the ancient art of oral storytelling. You could write a short story or even a series of poems that explore this theme. It could be about the significance of storytelling in various cultures or even a story about a storyteller himself.

World Frog Day: Your poem is quite relevant here. You could expand it into a larger piece or write other works that celebrate or explore the various aspects of frogs, their habitats, and their roles in mythology and literature.

Spike Lee's Birthday: Spike Lee is known for his thought-provoking and often controversial films. You could write a screenplay or story that captures the essence of his style — perhaps something that delves into social issues, just as many of his works do.


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Review of Day 14  
Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your journal entry paints a vivid picture of a complex and nuanced situation, tinged with shades of despair, uncertainty, and hope. Your thoughts seem to gravitate towards the idea of impermanence as symbolized by Robert Frost’s poem "Nothing Gold Can Stay." The poem itself carries a profound message about the fleeting nature of life's best moments or conditions, aptly applied to your reflections on the current state of the U.S. and possibly the community you’re in.

The notion of "gold" in your entry seems to be a recurring motif, extending from the idea of societal grandeur to the very roles and hierarchies within your immediate environment. The difference in responsibilities, particularly when it comes to guard duty, suggests a separation or inequality among your ranks. As more people arrive at your gates, it seems the division between the ‘golden’ ones and the 'lower order' is widening, and that, indeed, aligns with the message in Frost's work. Things that were once perfect or 'golden' don't last forever.

Your apprehensions about the 'new laws' being preached during the church service indicate a shift, maybe an uncomfortable one, in belief systems or philosophies. The death of Steve, especially the nonchalance surrounding it, is particularly unsettling and points towards a society rapidly reconfiguring its values and priorities. The absence of any prayer for him is a stark commentary on the changing ethos.

Interpersonal dynamics also play an intriguing role. Your interactions with Duncan hint at upcoming important conversations, and the new living arrangements point to more structural changes. The intimacy of your partnership with Duncan, given the fact that you'll share the last pack of cigarettes, appears like a small act of rebellion against the ever-shifting rules and norms that constrain you. Like a dessert or special treat, it's a rare moment to cling to something enjoyable before it too fades away, in sync with the themes of your opening poem.

Overall, your entry encapsulates a world in flux, evoking sentiments that oscillate between despondency and cautious optimism. It’s intriguing that you mention writing down your experiences as if there’s a sense that the others underestimate the power of documentation, of narrative. Whether or not you ever regain that 'golden' state, the act of writing itself is a form of resistance, a way to capture the ephemeral nature of 'gold' before it subsides.


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Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
The poem "Fragments of Yesterday" is a beautiful ode to the passage of time, echoing the sentiments of nostalgia and longing. Using simple yet evocative imagery, it captures the essence of various life stages—from love letters and bridal bouquets to children growing up. These images serve as fragmented memories that give one a glimpse into a past that can no longer be relived but can be remembered.

The poem particularly shines in its meticulous choice of objects that symbolize different phases of life. For example, "A wedding dress of yellowed lace" evokes not just a garment but an entire chapter of youth, love, and promise. Similarly, "A rose from your bridal bouquet" summons a snapshot of a specific, joyous occasion now immortalized between the pages of a bible. These artifacts serve as touchstones for reflection, embodying moments of joy, love, and change.

In terms of structure, the repeated phrase "Fragments of yesterday" serves as a refrain that ties the stanzas together, providing a rhythmic constancy to the poem. This repetition serves as an emotional anchor, underlining the idea that while the past is fragmented, it is also ever-present in our consciousness.

However, the poem is not without its room for improvement. While the straightforward language makes it accessible, employing more metaphor or symbolism could add layers of meaning, providing a richer experience for the reader. The straightforwardness may also make the narrative predictable, almost as if each stanza serves as a list of memories rather than a nuanced exploration of them. Adding some unexpected twists or insights might enrich the emotional texture of the poem.

Overall, "Fragments of Yesterday" captures the inevitable transformation life undergoes, even as the essence of past experiences remain embedded in tangible artifacts and memories. It is a compelling read that many can relate to, drawing on universal themes of aging, memory, and the passage of time.


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Review of An Idea Lost  
Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
The poem "The flicker of an idea" explores the ephemeral nature of inspiration and the regret that comes from not seizing it when it appears. It captures a universal experience many can relate to, especially those in creative fields.

In terms of structure, the poem utilizes a consistent rhyme scheme and rhythm, which gives it a pleasing musicality. The choice of words and phrases are carefully selected to resonate with the overall theme, making lines like "No amount of cajoling, Could lure it back" especially poignant. These lines mirror the elusive and capricious nature of inspiration, emphasizing that ideas are not always within our control to summon.

The poem also employs the metaphor of an unpaid utility bill to represent an idea that was neglected, adding an interesting layer to the narrative. This metaphor implies that ideas, like utilities, require a certain level of commitment and attention to function optimally. Failing to prioritize them leads to a sort of spiritual "power outage."

Moreover, the analogy between lost ideas and "love gone sour" brings emotional depth to the poem. It emphasizes that the emotional toll of a missed opportunity can be as profound as a failed relationship. This makes the reader reflect on the importance of being present and attentive to fleeting moments of inspiration or love.

The concluding stanza opens up room for hope and possibility, breaking from the preceding sections' sense of lament. The line "Yet wait, not necessarily..." introduces a twist that offers a glimmer of optimism, reminding the reader that a missed opportunity is not the end; rather, it may serve as a lesson for future endeavors.

However, one possible area for improvement could be the use of more vivid, descriptive language to create a more immersive atmosphere. Although the poem does an excellent job at discussing its theme intellectually, additional emotional resonance could make it even more compelling.

Overall, the poem is an engaging commentary on the transient nature of ideas and the regret of missed opportunities. It strikes a balance between formality and relatability, making it accessible yet thought-provoking.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Valentine Broken  
Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
The poem you've shared delves into the complexities and shifting emotional terrain that can exist within relationships, particularly in the context of a special occasion like Valentine's Day. The poem starts on a nostalgic note, recalling the joyous past experiences of love, but quickly takes a darker turn as it unfolds the pain and confusion of a love that has soured.

Your use of short lines and simple language makes the emotional progression in the poem easy to follow. You've opted for brevity, which leaves more room for the reader's interpretation. However, the brevity does lead to some ambiguity. While the poem successfully conveys the emotion of loss and confusion, it leaves unanswered questions. What led to the fight? Why were vile words spoken? In one sense, the lack of context adds to the universal appeal; anyone who has felt a relationship deteriorate without understanding why can relate. Yet, in another, the specifics might have made the situation more relatable and the emotional toll more visceral.

Your use of imagery, specifically "chocolate and flowers," serves as traditional symbols of love and happiness. However, you quickly counterbalance this with "vile words," thereby demonstrating the duality of emotions that special days like Valentine's can elicit.

The line "Can a heart be repaired; To celebrate in that same, special way?" leaves the reader pondering. The ambiguity makes the reader think about the complexities of love and relationships, thereby successfully evoking empathy and introspection. However, it might also feel a bit abrupt, lacking a satisfying conclusion to the emotional journey you've sketched.

From a technical standpoint, you might look into refining the rhythm and meter to make the reading experience more fluid. It's a bit choppy as it stands, which can distract from the emotional core of the poem.

Overall, your poem resonates emotionally and speaks to the frailties and unpredictabilities of love. It captures a genuine sentiment and holds space for the pain of romantic disillusionment.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing your piece. It's an evocative story that conjures the sensation of summer adventures and the thrill of confronting the unknown. You have effectively combined elements of mystery with nature to paint a vivid scene.

Your opening line is strong. The dare and the haunted creek immediately offer stakes and tension. You do well to set the stage quickly, and the heat of a July evening is palpable. The narrative flows smoothly as you describe the protagonist's actions, revealing a level of courage and resourcefulness.

However, there's room for improvement. You might consider delving deeper into the feelings and thoughts of the protagonist to increase emotional engagement. For example, does the character feel apprehensive about accepting the dare initially? Does the natural beauty and liveliness of the forest change the protagonist's perspective on what it means to be alone, or on the rumored haunting?

Also, there's an opportunity to use more descriptive language to amplify the setting and heighten the atmosphere. Describing the firelight flickering against the water or detailing the sounds around the creek can add more layers to your story. You can introduce contrasts, perhaps how the forest seems alive in a comforting way, against the backdrop of an eerie haunted creek, to add complexity.

Lastly, the concluding realization about never being truly alone in the forest feels somewhat abrupt. Building up to this moment with more inner monologue or a small incident could make the ending more impactful.

Overall, your story is captivating but could benefit from more emotional depth and descriptive richness. It's a great canvas for these enhancements, and I look forward to seeing how it evolves.
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Review of Aging  
Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)

Your poetic expression captures the passage of time and the changes it brings with a gentle nostalgia. The imagery of youth, vibrant dreams, and hearts as light as leaves creates a vivid picture of carefree days gone by. As time moves forward, your words beautifully convey the inevitability of aging, the way it leaves its mark on us with the grace of wisdom and the quiet accumulation of experiences.

The comparison between time and a rising tide, stealing the once-held joy, is particularly poignant. This metaphor conveys the sense of loss and transformation that can come with age. Yet, your perspective remains optimistic, urging us not to lament the fading days but to appreciate the unique gift that comes with growing older—wisdom. The comparison to a sunset's hues in twilight's tender haze is both eloquent and soothing, evoking a sense of the beauty that age can bring.

The final couplet of your poem delivers a reassuring message: that aging might take a toll on our physical selves, but it rewards us with treasures that only time can uncover. This resonates with your aspiration to become an accomplished writer, as your ability to convey emotions and reflections through words is evident in this piece.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
The poem you've created captures a profound emotional intensity that seems to resonate on multiple levels. It's a short yet impactful piece that explores the intricacies of human emotion when faced with "Devastating news." The poem seems to encapsulate the paralyzing effect such events can have, not just on the mind but also on the soul.

The first line immediately commands attention, introducing a theme that is as weighty as it is poignant. The words "Devastating news" are direct and stark, serving as a strong opening that prepares the reader for the emotional journey ahead.

The poem then moves into the concept of numbing, which works well to describe the immediate reaction one might have to devastating news. The choice to describe this numbing effect as impacting "both mind and soul" is particularly effective. It goes beyond the physiological reaction and delves into a deeper, almost spiritual level of pain.

The later lines shift the focus to the idea of fleeting beauty and transient moments of happiness, represented by "dawn" and "the sight of first light." This shift is subtle but adds a layer of complexity to the poem. It brings forth the idea that even in the face of overwhelming sorrow, there are elements of beauty that one could cherish—but the question remains, for how long?

Your use of rhetorical questions adds an introspective layer, inviting the reader to ponder alongside the narrator. While the poem is specific in its emotional scope, the open-ended question makes it universally relatable.

Overall, your poem is a beautifully concise yet emotionally rich exploration of human vulnerability. It resonates precisely because it is so succinct and so open to interpretation, much like the emotions it seeks to portray.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem "Sam Adams, Many Failures" taps into the human experience of persevering despite adversity. I'm particularly impressed with how you effectively portray a journey of transformation that many can relate to. The theme is universal: the struggle for success and the will to keep pushing forward, even when faced with constant failures.

The structure of the poem adds to its impact. Short, concise lines mimic the abrupt setbacks Sam Adams faces, while the abrupt shift towards the end, where the lines speak to his eventual success, offers a hopeful and uplifting message. The decision to repeat phrases like "Failed at" and "Used to being" in the beginning underscores the constant weight of defeat, while the term "Slowly" toward the end conveys a sense of gradual but sure progress.

However, there's room for improvement. The poem might benefit from using more descriptive language or metaphors to paint a vivid picture of Sam Adams's struggles and triumphs. While the straightforward narrative is easy to follow, some might find it a bit too direct, lacking the poetic elements that can evoke deeper emotions or thoughts.

Furthermore, while the name "Sam Adams" might evoke the historical figure Samuel Adams—a founding father who was also acquainted with struggle and success—it may be helpful to clarify whether this association is intentional or coincidental. If the reference is intentional, weaving in some historical nuances might add another layer of complexity to the piece.

Also, the poem could delve deeper into the emotions and thoughts Sam Adams might be feeling throughout his journey. Doing so would not only create a more poignant connection with the reader but also offer a richer, more nuanced portrayal of the character.

In summary, your poem does an excellent job at depicting the highs and lows of the human experience, particularly the grit it takes to overcome obstacles. With a bit more fine-tuning, it has the potential to resonate deeply with a broad audience.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Civil Warriors  
Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your piece vividly captures the chaotic duality of emotions that war often ignites. The conflict within your words paints a poignant picture of the internal struggle faced by soldiers on the battlefield. The ambivalence toward the adversary, questioning the reasons behind the fight, and contemplating the shared humanity despite the divisions are themes that resonate deeply.

In this narrative, you effectively convey the primal fear juxtaposed against a facade of strength and camaraderie. The imagery of comrades supporting one another in the face of danger emphasizes the bond forged through shared experiences, making the impending losses even more heart-wrenching.

Your use of repetition with phrases like "For what? The future?" and "Steady, steady, step, step" adds a rhythmic quality that mirrors the heartbeat of the situation. The moment of injury is vividly depicted through the burning pain and the turning red, creating a visceral connection to the character's suffering. The transition from fury to determination showcases the resilience and the surge of purpose that can arise even in the direst moments.

The concept of sacrifice for a nebulous "future" is thought-provoking and resonates with the broader theme of wartime sacrifices for the sake of what lies beyond the present.

Overall, your piece effectively encapsulates the turmoil of war, the complex emotions it evokes, and the strength that individuals find within themselves to carry on in the face of adversity. The sensory details and introspective narrative style contribute to a vivid and emotionally charged portrayal. Keep honing your writing skills to further capture the essence of the human experience and emotions in your stories.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Amilcar Unleashed  
Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
In "Amilcar Unleashed," the portrayal of Amilcar's inner journey and his contemplative nature creates a thought-provoking narrative that speaks to the complexities of personal fulfillment and purpose. The use of descriptive language and introspective dialogue draws readers into the mindset of the titular character, allowing them to empathize with his struggle.

The juxtaposition of Amilcar's profession with his true desires emphasizes the conflict between societal expectations and personal inclinations. Amilcar's yearning for solitude and reflection contrasts sharply with the demands of his profession, which he finds unchallenging. This highlights the idea that true contentment often stems from aligning one's actions with their authentic self.

The concept of enlightenment as a reward for enduring challenges adds depth to the story's theme. It presents the notion that growth and self-discovery arise from embracing difficulty and discomfort. However, Amilcar's skepticism towards this notion provides a refreshing perspective, raising questions about the nature of enlightenment and its worthiness.

Amid his internal struggle, Amilcar's journey of self-discovery is symbolized by his physical and spiritual wandering. This metaphorical representation of his indecision captures the internal conflict he faces, making it relatable to readers who have experienced similar moments of uncertainty.

The story's resolution, where Amilcar embraces his true calling as a hermit without expectations of reward, offers a profound lesson. It underscores the idea that fulfillment comes from living authentically, regardless of external validation. The imagery of Amilcar awakening with a smile reflects the liberation he feels in accepting his identity, showcasing the power of self-acceptance.

Overall, "Amilcar Unleashed" captivates with its deep exploration of identity, purpose, and the pursuit of true happiness. The narrative's poetic style and the relatable themes it addresses make it a compelling piece that encourages readers to reflect on their own paths to fulfillment. With a word count of 278, this review delves into the essence of the story while providing insights and opinions for a comprehensive understanding.


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Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)

Your piece, "On the Tip of His Quill," engages in a poetic exploration of one of humanity's oldest and most profound questions: the nature and whereabouts of God. The language is ornate and evokes a sense of wonder, as though each sentence is a brushstroke in a larger cosmic painting. You delve into various perspectives, inviting the reader to consider if God resides in nature, in the cosmic tapestry of the universe, or within the very essence of human beings.

Your narrative has a captivating structure. It opens up a multitude of questions without imposing answers, which serves to highlight the mystery around the subject. This evokes a sense of awe and contemplation in the reader, aligning well with the subject matter. However, it may also leave some craving for a more decisive viewpoint or argument, a focal point around which these musings could crystallize. The phrase "an enigmatic waltz that reverberates through the corridors of time" is particularly impactful, tying the piece together by suggesting a timeless, cyclical relationship between God and man.

The elevated diction and complex syntax bring an almost Shakespearean quality to the writing. However, this could be a double-edged sword. While it adds gravitas, it might also make the text less accessible to a broader audience. The balance between sophistication and readability is a fine line to walk, especially when dealing with complex, abstract concepts.

The use of rhetorical questions serves well to engage the reader but could be perceived as slightly overwhelming due to their frequency. While they add to the philosophical tone, they also risk muddling the focus of your piece. Are these questions meant to suggest that the answers are unknowable, or are they invitations for the reader to contemplate deeply?

You've woven a compelling narrative that demonstrates both your grasp of language and your ability to tackle large, abstract themes. Your piece acts as a philosophical lens, framing questions of existence, divinity, and the human condition in an evocative manner.

In sum, "On the Tip of His Quill" is a poetic and profound work. It's a contemplative journey into the ineffable, capturing the eternal tug-of-war between mankind's search for God and the mystery that shrouds this celestial being. Although the piece could benefit from a clearer focal point or an element that brings the narrative into focus, it successfully captures the imagination and encourages deep thought.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Stay Precious  
Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem captures the tender and contemplative moments that many parents experience when looking at their sleeping child. The poem serves as an exploration of fatherhood, love, hope, and the inevitable passage of time. The language is simple but effective, making it relatable and emotional.

The opening lines establish an intimate setting: a parent standing over a mahogany crib. It sets the tone as one of awe and hesitation, a moment suspended in time. The image of a "hand wavers just above the pink blanket" conveys a palpable sense of care and caution. You don't touch the child but just watch, as though you're afraid of disturbing this fragile peace.

You successfully play with contrasts, setting up the simple act of watching a child sleep against the backdrop of its representation in novelty stores. This emphasizes the irreducibility of the moment — it can't be captured in a piece of porcelain or through any craft, but only felt in the heart.

There's a touch of melancholy too, in recognizing that time will move on, that the child will grow and change. Yet, your only wish is that she remains 'precious,' tying back to the title and the initial feeling you captured.

However, there are minor imperfections in the poem that you may consider addressing. The line "That is covers her small figure" appears to have a typo; perhaps it should be, "That covers her small figure." Attention to these small details could make the poem even more impactful.

The poem leaves me with the impression of a fleeting moment caught in time, a snapshot filled with love, hope, and a little bit of wistfulness. You've conveyed the complexities of such a simple act, making the reader think about life's transient beauty and the hopes and fears that come with parenting. Your work taps into universal emotions, rendering it both personal and widely relatable.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
Matthias Fiore, in his thoughtful and insightful text, delves into the realm of relationships with a candid acknowledgment of his own experiences and errors. Written with the intention of assisting individuals who may grapple with the complexities of giving and receiving love, Fiore's words resonate with understanding and empathy.

One of the fundamental threads running through the narrative is the impact of modern influences, particularly the rise of social media. Fiore astutely observes how false ideals propagated through digital platforms can hinder the establishment of true intimacy. He highlights the prevalence of emotional intelligence across various domains, but the challenges arise when navigating the spectrum of emotions from diverse sources like friends, family, and online content.

The heart of Fiore's discussion revolves around attachment styles and their consequences on relationships. His clear articulation of the four attachment types—Secure, Anxious-Ambivalent, Avoidant, and Disorganized—creates a framework for readers to understand their own behaviors and those of their partners. This comprehensive breakdown exemplifies his commitment to unraveling complex psychological dynamics for the benefit of his readers.

Fiore's assertion that incompatibility is often a veil for a lack of mature communication strikes a chord. His perspective underscores the value of patience and effort in nurturing a relationship's growth. His conviction that relationships evolve through shared experiences and intentional effort offers a refreshing take on building lasting connections.

Addressing the question of whether feelings can truly fade, Fiore introduces the concept of incompatibility rather than loss of feelings. This insight serves as a catalyst for a mature exploration of relationship dynamics, encouraging readers to scrutinize the reasons behind breakups and approach them with empathy.

Fiore's counsel on navigating relationships characterized by struggling attachment styles emerges as a guiding light. His emphasis on patience, creating a safe space, understanding love languages, and respecting boundaries underscores his wisdom in handling the intricacies of human connections. His practical advice not to take rejection personally and communicate openly during disagreements resonates deeply.

Matthias Fiore's writing embodies his desire to help readers foster healthier relationships. By sharing his observations, personal experiences, and compassionate advice, he provides readers with a roadmap for traversing the landscape of emotional bonds. The narrative tone, neither childish nor formal, speaks directly to readers, inviting them to engage with the content and apply its lessons to their lives.

In conclusion, Matthias Fiore's text is a valuable contribution to the discourse on relationships. His insights into emotional intelligence, attachment styles, and the nuances of communication provide a foundation for readers seeking more fulfilling and meaningful connections. The friendly and approachable manner in which Fiore presents his thoughts invites readers to explore their own relationships with greater understanding and empathy.


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Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello there,

It's fantastic to see your enthusiasm for wordplay and creative challenges! Your idea of uncovering hidden words within larger words is both intriguing and a great exercise for your writing journey. This endeavor showcases your dedication to expanding your vocabulary and honing your linguistic skills. Your desire to engage others in this game is also a wonderful way to foster a sense of community and shared excitement.

Your initiative in not relying on word generators demonstrates your commitment to mental gymnastics and embracing the joy of discovery. Navigating through the nooks and crannies of words to uncover their smaller constituents can indeed be a mind-boggling yet gratifying experience. It's heartwarming to witness your enthusiasm for the intricacies of language.

I can see your dedication in hosting this contest, and your decision to offer prizes is a thoughtful gesture that can encourage even more participation. The carefully selected prizes, from the impressive MB to the generous GPS rewards, will surely motivate participants to put their thinking caps on and engage actively in this word-hunting adventure.

As the contest dates draw near, the excitement and anticipation are surely building up among the participants. The September words you've provided offer a rich playground for linguistic exploration. May this challenge bring out the creative side of all involved, fostering camaraderie and a shared passion for words.

With the contest just around the corner, I wish you all the best in this endeavor. Your dedication to becoming an accomplished writer and your drive to create an engaging and inclusive activity truly shine through. Keep nurturing your writing skills, and may this contest be a memorable milestone on your journey to success.

WriterRick


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Review of Forever Friend  
Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
"Forever Friend" is a heartfelt piece that captures the essence of friendship and the soothing power of peaceful thoughts. The poem begins with a simple scene - the act of sitting in a chair, which evolves into a moment of reflection and inspiration. The words flow in a rhythm that is both calming and introspective, allowing the reader to connect with the speaker's emotions.

The poem's structure and language create a comfortable ambiance, much like a casual conversation between close friends. The repetition of phrases like "My mind" and "I'll be there for you" lends a reassuring tone, reinforcing the commitment to friendship. This repetition not only adds emphasis but also contributes to the relaxed atmosphere the poem aims to convey.

The theme of finding solace in the act of writing and in the presence of a friend is poignant. The line "My mind relaxes when / Problems are solved / And peace is restored upon this land" beautifully encapsulates the idea that companionship and resolution bring tranquility. This sentiment could serve as a reminder to readers about the significance of positive relationships and moments of serenity.

The poem, while simple, effectively communicates its message. However, a touch more imagery or descriptive language could enhance the emotional impact even further. Additionally, a slightly varied rhythm or rhyme scheme might add a layer of musicality to the verses.

In conclusion, "Forever Friend" captures the soothing sensation of having a dependable friend and the comfort that comes from shared experiences. Its uncomplicated yet sincere expression of friendship resonates, making it a piece that could brighten the day of anyone who reads it. With a few refinements, it has the potential to become an even more resonant and memorable composition.


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Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
In Khyber Pakhtunkhwa's Battagram's Allai tehsil, a remarkable incident recently unfolded involving the daring rescue of eight individuals from a stranded trolley. This heart-pounding event, which saw a trolley suspended mid-air due to snapped wires, garnered widespread attention both nationally and internationally. The rescue efforts were captured on television, showcasing the valiant work of experts and locals alike who joined forces to save those trapped.

The incident took place when a group of six students and two locals were aboard the trolley, which was privately operated for river crossings in the absence of proper roads or bridges. Unfortunately, the wires supporting the trolley gave way, leading to the precarious situation. The Assistant Commissioner of Allai, Jawad Hussain, informed that after approximately 14 hours, the rescue operation was successfully completed by Salvage 1122 and later confirmed by the tactical team's media wing.

However, a recent development has cast a shadow on this heroic effort. Local social activist Dr. Fayyaz Panjgul has raised concerns about the well-being of the rescued individuals. Among those saved, a 14-year-old student named Ibrar is reported to have suffered a hand injury and was feeling unwell. Dr. Panjgul expressed dismay that despite the rescue, Ibrar was sent home on foot with minimal medical attention due to his residence being on the opposite side of the mountain where the incident occurred.

Dr. Panjgul's account sheds light on the challenges faced by those saved from the trolley. He emphasized that Ibrar had to traverse the difficult terrain at night and was later requested to attend a government school for further assistance. During a media interview, Ibrar exhibited distress and pain in his lower abdomen, prompting Dr. Panjgul to take him to a nearby basic health unit for a pain relief injection.

Moreover, the rescued students' backgrounds came to the fore, highlighting their determination to pursue education despite facing significant hardships. Dr. Muhammad Iqbal, the Head of the Elementary and Secondary Education Department in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa, lauded these students as true heroes. He acknowledged their commitment to education, which compelled them to undertake perilous journeys to attend school, demonstrating the value they place on learning.

In response to this incident, educational authorities have initiated steps to improve accessibility to schools in the region. Government schools heavily reliant on trolleys for access are being upgraded, with plans to transform Government Center School Baracharr into a high school and Government Secondary School Batangi into a higher secondary school. This upgrade aims to provide students with education within their communities, eliminating the need for risky river crossings or trolley rides.

The commendable efforts of the rescue team, military personnel, and local residents did not go unnoticed. The State Head awarded recognition certificates to these individuals for their exceptional coordination and successful mission execution. The collaborative nature of this operation truly showcased the strength of unity, even involving those who offered prayers from the confines of their homes.

In conclusion, the trolley rescue incident in Battagram highlighted the courage of both responders and survivors. While the successful rescue was a triumph, Dr. Panjgul's observations underline the importance of providing comprehensive medical assistance to those saved. This incident has also underscored the resilience of students striving for education against all odds. The measures to upgrade schools promise a brighter future for students in the region. The recognition bestowed upon the heroes of this mission emphasizes the power of collective effort in times of adversity.


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Review of Dear Madalyn  
Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Elisa,

I hope this letter finds you well, despite the challenging circumstances you've shared. It is with a sympathetic heart that I read your words, sensing the weight of the emotions you've poured onto these pages. Life's twists and turns often bring unexpected challenges, and your experience is a testament to that reality. Your candor in recounting the events leading to your departure from work reflects a brave honesty, and your willingness to share your feelings with Madalyn is truly admirable.

I can sense the disappointment in your words, the longing to have conveyed this news in person, but the emotional hurdles holding you back are perfectly understandable. Change can be unsettling, especially when it involves revisiting places filled with poignant memories. The connection you had with your coworkers and the tasks you performed had become part of your identity, making the separation all the more poignant.

Your expressed empathy for Madalyn's experience is a testament to your thoughtful nature. Your wish for her to continue receiving attentive service and consideration is a touching gesture. It speaks volumes about the genuine concern you have for her well-being, even in the midst of your own personal trials.

While this situation might currently cloud your path, remember that life has a way of evolving in unexpected ways. New opportunities can emerge, and the pains of today can fade into the tapestry of experiences that shape our journey. As you contemplate what lies ahead, may you find the strength to embrace change and hold onto the lessons you've learned.

Your sincerity and compassion shine through your words, Elisa. It is my hope that you find the support and encouragement you need during this time of transition. Keep in mind that, despite the challenges, your journey as a writer and your aspirations for success and personal growth remain valid pursuits. Life's setbacks are just stepping stones toward a more profound understanding of oneself and the world.

Warmest regards,
WriterRick
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Review of Savage Love  
Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
Matthias Fiore's perspective on relationships and personal growth reflects a deep understanding of the dynamics that underlie successful connections. His insights emphasize the significance of creating an environment of trust, understanding, and emotional safety within relationships.

In his words, the essence of masculinity lies not in physical strength, but in the ability to foster a space where a woman can flourish. By prioritizing emotional and mental well-being, he believes that men can truly support and empower their partners, allowing them to radiate their brightest light. This sentiment aligns well with the aspiration of being a better husband, understanding that being a partner involves creating an environment conducive to growth.

Fiore's wisdom also extends to the importance of self-sufficiency and individual growth. His advice to find personal passions and hobbies is a testament to the belief that a healthy relationship stems from two whole individuals coming together, rather than relying on each other for happiness. This notion resonates with the idea that becoming a successful writer involves continuous personal development, which ultimately contributes to a more fulfilling partnership.

The emphasis on communication, trust, and respect echoes the desire for success in both writing and relationships. Just as effective communication is essential for conveying ideas in writing, it's equally vital in maintaining healthy relationships. His perspective on green flags - indicators of a healthy partnership - aligns with the goal of success, as a thriving relationship reflects mutual support and alignment of values.

Fiore's advice to focus on self-improvement and adaptability also mirrors the path towards becoming accomplished in any endeavor. His recognition of the power in prioritizing oneself and maintaining mental and emotional well-being is a crucial element in striving for success as a writer or as a partner.

In summary, Matthias Fiore's insights encompass the core principles of successful relationships, personal growth, and achievement. His understanding of the nuances in these domains underscores the importance of trust, communication, and individual development, all of which are instrumental in becoming an accomplished writer and a better husband. His words offer guidance on building a fulfilling life that aligns with the pursuit of success and happiness.


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Review of You Did What!  
Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)

Your flash fiction piece successfully taps into the emotional complexities between a worried father and a teenage daughter caught in a late-night mishap. The format, which is dialogue-driven, allows for natural exposition, and the use of dialogue also conveys their personalities and relational dynamics vividly. However, the dialogue could be more refined in places to enhance believability and tension.

First, you might consider making the dialogue more realistic in terms of the urgency and gravity of the situation. For example, a father discovering that his daughter was in a car accident would likely display a different array of emotions—perhaps a mix of relief, worry, and even anger. His responses could echo that complexity more fully.

Secondly, your piece incorporates the specified line "Explain it to me one more time" seamlessly, adding an authentic touch to the narrative. This is well done, as it serves to heighten the father's bafflement and concern, making it clear that he's struggling to grasp the unfolding events.

Thirdly, the ending of the piece is tender, providing a resolution that is emotionally satisfying, but not overly dramatic. However, it could benefit from more context. The line "God, I wish your mother were here" suggests a deeper backstory. Maybe weave in subtle clues that give us more insight into their past and the absence of the mother, without detracting from the main narrative.

Lastly, I'd encourage you to pay attention to minor details such as punctuation and clarity. For example, when you wrote "Don't get all pissed off and yell at me, it was an accident. But, it wasn't my fault," you might try combining these sentences for better flow: "Don't get all pissed off and yell at me; it was an accident, but it wasn't my fault."

All in all, your flash fiction showcases emotional weight and complexity in a very short space, which is commendable. With a bit of polishing, you could elevate this piece into a tightly-woven narrative that's both emotionally resonant and technically refined.


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Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your sonnet titled "MAKE IT HAPPEN" delves into the emotional struggle of an individual who's aware of their transgressions, yet seeks divine forgiveness. The work is well-framed in the context of traditional sonnet structure, with its 14 lines and rhyme scheme, while it takes inspiration from religious texts for thematic substance.

The sonnet is deeply introspective, revealing the speaker's internal struggle to live up to religious commandments. The invocation of Jesus and the commandments establishes a profound moral backdrop against which the speaker evaluates himself. This creates an emotionally charged atmosphere where the reader is led to empathize with the speaker's shortcomings, thereby making the plea for divine intervention relatable.

The transition from the speaker’s admission of moral failing to their plea for divine grace is executed quite effectively. This thematic pivot is essential in sonnets, often called the 'volta,' and yours occurs between the second and third quatrains, where the speaker goes from self-condemnation to seeking salvation.

However, the poem might benefit from a more nuanced expression of the internal conflict. The speaker quickly admits their shortcomings without delving into the psychological or emotional turmoil that usually accompanies such self-awareness. Offering a glimpse into that struggle could make the sonnet more engaging.

The language is generally consistent with the traditional and religious tone of the poem. Yet, it could be more polished to evoke deeper emotions. For instance, the line "In worship of Satan I knew no bar" feels slightly jarring and could be more subtly articulated to align better with the overall tone.

In conclusion, the sonnet is a compelling exploration of guilt, self-awareness, and the yearning for redemption. While it adheres to conventional structures and themes, a little more emotional and linguistic refinement could elevate it.


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