Hello kristalyn, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.
I have just read your poem, "A Poem To Parents," and thought I would leave some comments.
I must admit I found this rather contradictory. You have written that you are consistent in saying no to your children and then you say you give in every time.
I understand the message at the end, that giving in to children is allowing them to believe they can have everything if they shout and scream. Of course this should never happen.
Hi arlene, how are you? I have just read your poem, " Mine," and thought I would leave some comments.
What a sweet little love poem. I like short poetry rather than long drawn out ones. I believe, to say a lot, we need say very little.
I do have one suggestion: In the second line: " Tomorrow you are." I do not think it reads correctly, just my opinion but, I would have said, "Tomorrow you will be."
Hello Dreamer1808, how are you? I have just read your poem, "The Dark Christmas," and thought I would leave some comments.
It is always very hard and sad when we have to spend our first Christmas without a loved one. Your poem expresses how this makes you feel very well.
I have some suggestions: there are a lot of spelling mistakes, too many to write them all, but a few examples are : You write Chrismas instead of Christmas and wount instead of won't. Also bee instead of be.
Also I do find the poem a little long. However, that is a personal preference. I think a lot can be said in a few words. A poem that is too long can put the reader off finishing it.
Hello Dakota, how are you? A belated welcome to WDC. I hope you are enjoying your time here so far. I have just read your poem," Rhyming Galore," and thought I would leave some comments.
I love poetry, both to read and write. I also love traditional rhyming poetry. I am not sure of your rhyming sequence in this one, as it seems to change with each verse. Also ignore and adored, does not quite rhyme, or bookstores and deplored. So I do not think you are quite the rhyming overlord yet. :)
Hello Anjum, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your item. "Love Is Divine," and thought I would leave some comments.
This really gives food for thought and a good example of how we can show love. It is true, our behaviour earns love and respect.
Hi Whitemorn, how are you? I just found your story," Absurd Inconsistencies," and thought I would leave some comments.
It is unusual to read something other than poetry from you, but I am very glad I did. The piece made me laugh throughout. I especially like this part:
I parked in my usual spot with my sign that says, "Reserved for Handicapped". My name is Robert Handicapp. It was great of the company to enforce the $250.00 penalty fine, if some idiot decided to take my spot.
The only suggestion I have is the word "allot," it should be a lot, two words not one.
Hello Fire Quill, how are you? Welcome to WDC, I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "A Child Is A Miracle,' and thought I would leave some comments.
A child is indeed a miracle and how lovely for your friend.
An enjoyable poem and I especially liked the lines: "I get updated on how you grow from your tiny head to your baby toe," I think most Grandparents would be eager to update on the progress of their Grandchild.
Suggestion; I feel the poem would benefit from changing in to four line verses rather two. For example the first verse:
A proud moment for all when finally came the call
It’s a beautiful bouncing boy filling us with endless joy
I think would read better as:
A proud moment for all
when finally came the call
It’s a beautiful bouncing boy
filling us with endless joy
Hello Midgie99, how are you? Welcome to WDC, I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your story, "A Common Knights" and thought I would leave some comments.
I enjoyed this little story and some great imagery. The first paragraph made me want to read more and that is always a good thing. I loved the carefree and fearless ways of ways of Faye.
Hello Tamien, how are you? Welcome to WDC, I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your essay, "When The Radio Started Playing," and thought I would leave some comments.
How nice that, something that belonged to your Grandfather, has brought so much happiness. No wonder your grandmother was smiling. I always have my radio on even when I sleep, I would not be without it.
Thank you for sharing this lovely, well written story.
Hello Charles, how are you? welcome to WDC, I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "Awake Beside Me," and thought I would leave some comments.
I do feel for your wife, insomnia is a dreadful thing and makes our working week seem twice as long.
One suggestion; in this line:
Feeling guilty, slept all night,
You tried to too, but lost the fight.
I would leave out the "to" otherwise it makes it a bit of a mouthful. it would read just as good as:
Feeling guilty, slept all night,
Hello Stephanie, how are you? Thank you for your entry, "Paint," in the "Invalid Item" .
What a lovely little tale of love. Although I am not quite sure I would like try it myself. However, it does paint a pretty picture in the mind of the reader.
Hello Alyssa, how are you? Welcome to WDC, I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "Memories," and thought I would leave some comments.
A lovely poem sharing memories of your pet with the reader. It is always sad when we lose a pet, after all, they are part of our family.
A couple of suggestions: in this line:
Long pink tough that used to give everyone kisses, tough should be tongue and this line:
Long tail
3 legs
I would write three legs rather than 3 legs.
Hello David, how are you? Welcome to WDC, I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "Your Bubble Gum Machine," and thought I would leave some comments.
What an unusual way to look at life, a bubble gum machine. It is true, we do get what we give. We create our own lives.
Suggestion: I feel the first eight lines are too repetitive, there is no need to write ,"If you," at the beginning of each line. You can say everything just as well by leaving that out. For example:"
If you pray, you get answers.
If you give love, you are blest.
Would read as good like this :
If you pray you get answers
and to give love, you are blest.
Hello shadowghost, how are you? Welcome to WDC, I hope you enjoy your time here I have just read your poem, "Take Me To A Place," and thought I would leave some comments.
I do not usually like dark poetry or stories, but I must say, I really liked this and how fitting as we near Halloween.
I cannot give a favourite part as I liked it all and the first line drew me in to read on.
Hello Grimoire of Thorns, how are you? Thank you for your entry in the "Invalid Item"
I enjoyed this little story, it reminds me of a poem I wrote, "Memories In A Jar." It is funny how we collect these things and sad that the wedding band is now to be a part of those memories.
Hello oldgraywolf, how are you? Welcome to WDC, I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, " Clouds In Springtime," and thought I would leave some comments.
This is a beautiful poem. I love looking at the different shapes clouds form. Sometimes it is quite amazing how perfectly they shape.
I loved the whole poem but the last lines are my favourite.
"Take time for reflection, lie down in the fields
look to the heavens for the magic it yields."
Hello kavidhakrishnamoorthi , how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.
I have just read your item, "Indian Herbs To Prevent Cancer," and thought I would leave some comments.
I found this very interesting. I love herbs and they are very good for us. Of course most of which are very popular and if help to prevent disease too, then that is an added bonus.
Hello Regal, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your item, "Quietude," and thought I would leave some comments.
I find it very difficult to have no noise around me. I always have music on even when I sleep. However, I think that is mainly for company. I think that may be so for a lot of people if they live alone.
Having said that, sometimes I wish I could disengage myself from the world.
Your piece is interesting but, I would suggest leaving out the use of capital letters to emphasise some words. Instead you could use italics. I do not know why but the use of the capitals makes it look like you are shouting.
Hello AuthorX, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your item, "Imagine Dragons-It's Time," and thought I would leave some comments.
Did you write this? I have heard a couple of the group Imagine Dragons songs, but I do not recall this.
However, if you did then it is very good.
I especially like the message in the last verse.
Don't you
understand
That I'm never
changing who
I am
Hello Devon, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just found your poem,"From My Husband Who Cannot Write Poetry, " and thought I would leave some comments.
First of all, rather than using,,"From My Husband Who Cannot Write Poetry, " as your title, I would give the poem a title and put that bit in your description.
Well considering, either you or he, thinks he cannot write poetry, I think he did very well. I am not usually a fan of non rhyming poem, however, I did enjoy this one.
The last two lines are lovely: "I come home and open the door to catch you in my arms
You are a beautiful butterfly--flying."
One thing I would suggest is you take out -- and replace with commas, where needed.
Thank you for sharing.
Sanita
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