Hello Analogy, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your sample, "An Inescapable Situation," and thought I would leave some comments.
This is quite an interesting subject. Personally I do not use the words normal or abnormal, after all, who are we to say what is supposed to be normal. Everyone is the same whether they have one leg, two legs or four legs.
I know this is a sample, but I think you could add quite a lot to this, rather than the one paragraph, as I think it is a subject a lot of people would like to read.
Hello Samurai. how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your story, "Tea," and thought I would leave some comments.
Wow, what an age to live till, 117! The lady in your story has the right idea on how to deal with old age. I like that she had a name for everything, even the coffee maker.
I am a little confused as to the title of the story, "tea," and why. There only seems to be one sentence about her making tea for an expected guest. Perhaps you could elaborate a little on this.
Hi Bob, how are you? I have just read your editorial, "Why Is Hate Bad, " and thought I would leave some comments.
I found this rather interesting to read. I think hate is a natural emotion which comes from fear and not understanding why some people do such awful things.
I agree hate is discouraged and considered antisocial, however, it is impossible to prevent a natural feeling.
We can colour the word and call it dislike, but it means the same thing really.
Hello Wells51. how are you? I have just read your poem, "The Months," and thought I would leave some comments.
In your description you say it the first verse of a thirteen part poem, so I cannot comment too much. However, I did note in this line: " You may have a favor or two," I do not think it reads right. You would not have a favor, in the sense that you mean it. It would be more like. "You may favor one or two."
I look forward to the rest of the poem and intrigued as there are only twelve months.
Hello ukpatriot86, how are you? Welcome to WDC. O hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, " Self Preservation," and thought I would leave some comments.
I think self preservation is a natural thing, we all have the need to protect ourselves.
A few spelling mistakes :
In this line: "whether your rite or wrong," rite should be right.
This line: "forever their," their should be there.
Lastly you have like written twice in this line: "like like a broke mans pride."
Hello A ShadowyGuy, How are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your short story, " Don't Provoke A Tickler, Or Else," and thought I would leave some comments.
This made me laugh. I hate being tickled and can never work out why it makes us laugh because it is not funny!
Hello Sabrina, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your article,"Healthy Lifestyle," and thought I would leave some comments.
I think you may be right, people have become lazy it seems. It is a shame because, by being over weight, they do not have such a good quality of life and miss out on so much. A simple thing, like going for a walk, can make all the difference.
Suggestions: In this sentence: 'Healthy people don’t smoke, they have a healthy weight, then they eat healthy foods and exercises regularly. Exercises, should be exercise.
Also this sentence does not make sense: "That sounds so simple but it's funny to see otherwise how hard is trying to do all of those things in our daily life." I think the word "otherwise," should have been left out.
Hello Helgemonster, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your chapter, " Alex," and thought I would leave some comments.
It seems I have come across the second part of your story and shall have to visit your port for the first part. However, I found this very readable. It drew me in straight away and now I am curious to know what had happened.
It is very well written and I have no suggestions for improvement.
Hello Jovial Jester, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your story,"Corkscrewed," and thought I would leave some comments.
I do not envy you or your mum, I would never ride on those things. I hope your mum was screaming out of enjoyment and not fear!
Suggestions: You may want to edit as where you have copied and pasted it, it has not come out right. For example:
‘Are we there
yet?’ My brother’s voice punches a hole in the
air-conditioned atmosphere of the bus. So does his eight years of
anticipation.
Hello August Leaf, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just found your poem on the random reviews and thought I would leave some comments.
First of all, how nice to actually find a poem that rhymes!
I really liked this, a fun little poem about your young brother. Isn't it funny how we find them pests, but we still want to play with them and would not want to be without them.
Cute poem.
One little error, you have not put a space between," really and try," in the first verse.
Hello Dlee, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your children's story," Nikkie's Trip To The Store," and thought I would leave some comments.
What a lovely little story for children and it also teaches them to always tell the truth.
I have some suggestions: first of all you need to use speech marks each time someone speaks.
This line: "Mr. Whitley was more then glad to help her fill her shopping list from her mother." The word then should be than.
Hello Qihara, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your bio and wanted to leave some comments.
Do you know you can write this on your portfolio header? You will find it on your port to the right of the screen. That way members can read about you as soon as they visit your port rather than waiting till they come across this.
Hi Shafeyet, how are you? Are you enjoying the site and finding your way around? It is nice to see you filling up your portfolio.
I have just read your poem, "Beautiful Eyes," and thought I would leave some comments.
I am not really a fan of non rhyming poems, however, now and then I have a moment when one catches my attention. This is the moment and yours is the one.
I really like this read. It speaks (at least to me) of someone the writer has never met and yet he/she falls in love.
The second verse I especially like:
I declare immortal love towards you,
I submit myself at your service;
I hereby devote my mind to your memory,
At any cost, even after I fade;
Not even the highest peak of the universe,
Can ever prevent me,
From imagining your beautiful eyes.
I have no suggestions for improvement, I like it as it is.
Hello Blue_Pumpkin, how are you? I have just read your poem, "The Eternal Conflict," which I found on the random reviews, and thought I would leave some comments.
Poor King! He should have followed his heart.
I do not usually like long poems but, this is like a rhyming story, with a message.
Suggestions: I would try to make the lines a little shorter with an even syllable count, as it is a little bumpy to read.
Hello Heather, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "Do I?," which I found on the random reviews and thought I would leave some comments'
This poem could be taken two ways. For example this line: "Naive, sweet prince wrapped in sapphire blue," makes me think of a baby or young child. However, I suspect it is love the writer is pondering over,
Hello Sailor M, how are you? I have just read your story, "Johnny The Leprechaun," which I found on the random reviews and thought I would leave some comments.
I like stories of leprechauns, not so keen on trolls though.
I enjoyed your little story.
Only one suggestion. In this line "Your long legs could get to it easier then my short ones." Then should be than.
Hello ShannielleFaith, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "Generalised Anxiety Disorder," and thought I would leave some comments.
I thought this poem really beautiful. Beautiful in it's understanding of what the new lady will suffer at his hands.
Hello Ray, how are you? Welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem," My Only Brother," and thought I would leave some comments.
All of my siblings are older than me, however, I can still relate to family love.
I like the message you give your brother in the poem. An understanding that you took the wrong path and you do not want him to.
A good poem. Thank you for sharing.
Sanita
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