Hello Oh Captain, my captain, how are you? I just found your poem on the random reviews and thought I would leave some comments.
I love this, very funny but also very true! One I find I come across quite often is board instead of bored.
I remember reading a status on the dreaded facebook which said, " I wish people would go back to school, there are so many who carnt spell." I could not resist correcting her.
Hello cmfountain, how are you? Thank you for your entry, "The Game," in the "Invalid Item" .
A sad little story, poor child. I hate to think it but I suppose this sort of thing really happens. All parents should be proud he played, it is not about winning.
Hello Cheri, how are you? I have just read your short story, " Reflections," and thought I would leave some comments.
I liked the story line and with a little editing it will be a good read.
From the third paragraph down I found it read very well. I think it is just the beginning that needs some editing. It seemed to go too fast and a little jumbled. A little more about Dominique perhaps? Why was Mrs D brining her up? Mrs D was worried about a predator following her, yet she has a son. So was this a teenage pregnancy? How old is her son?
Everyone called Mrs D, Mrs D because they could not pronounce her name. Why? What was her name?
Hello Eleusis, welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.
I have just read your chapter, " The Tragic Story Of Lawrence Maxwell," and thought I would leave some comments.
This seems like it will be an interesting story, children in the midst of war is always very sad, but can make an interesting read.
Suggestions: In the first line, " The night was cold, as per usual." I would leave out the, "per," it does not really fit, or perhaps leave out the whole line.
You say it was Lawrence's seventh birthday, and yet at the end, he remembers things from twelve years ago. Perhaps he has been in a coma a few years or something?
Also this part, " These last years had been hell for him, but he believed that now everything would truly be alright.
Not the first time I've thought this." Should it not be, "Not the first time he thought this,?"
I did find the story moved a little too quickly, there was not enough about Hannah and also why the middle aged man stabbed Lawrence.
Overall a good beginning and with some editing a good read.
Hello Sellya, how are you? I do not believe I have read any of your work before. I came across your poem, "Cecilia," and thought I would leave some comments.
A two line love poem which says it all.
It could be aimed at a wife, girlfriend or even daughter.
Hello Doctor DIrt, how are you? Welcome to WDC, I hope you enjoy your time here.
I have just read your poem, " I still Walk A While Longer," and thought I woiuld leave some comments.
First of all, what a lovely title.
A sad poem, of a lost love and trying to gain strength to carry on. The poem could be taken as a loved one who has passed or simply the end of a relationship. Both difficult times.
Hello Boo, how are you? Welcome to WDC, I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your story, "The Fairy," and thought I would leave some comments.
I like anything to do with fairies and totaly believe in them.
A lovely little story and I note it is for a contest.
I feel you have not yet finished as it ended rather abruptly, without knowing who the stranger with the beautiful tanned face is.
If this is so, then I would set the item to private till you have finished. That way you will avoid reviews and rating before you are ready.
Hello Lacy, how are you? I have just read your item, " When There Was No Cell Phones," and thought I would leave some comments.
I remember only too well when we had no mobile phones. I think life was better then, at least we had more privacy and if we were not available then people would have to wait till we were. Now it makes people cross if we do not answer our mobiles!
A great little memory.
I am not sure what you meant in this sentence? "That brings me to the other think about not having cell phones."
Hello K. Larson, how are you? I have just read your poem, " My Faith," and thought I would leave some comments.
It is good to have faith in something, whatever it may be. I think it helps us through difficult times and makes life easier. You have expressed this well in your poem.
I did not quite understand the first verse :
"life becomes hard, fast and mean,
tempers fly and as the cat is sly,
streams and swirling water swiftly go by,
my lord i need you i want you near me,"
"Tempers fly as the cat is sly?" I am not sure what you meant by this.
Also a couple a spelling errors, "I, " should always be a capital and , "Prasie," should be praise.
Hello Jonathan, how are you? Welcome to WDC, I hope you enjoy your time here.
I have just read your short story, " Don't Mess With Gangsters," and thought I would leave some comments.
A good story line here although I am not keen on gangster stories. However, with some work, it will be a good story.
I know you have stated it is a draft, but I have a suggestion: I would show and not tell so much. The imagery will be much better with more action in the story rather than telling it.
Hello Bec, how are you? Welcome to WDC, I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your prologue, "Cariad," and thought I would leave some comments.
This sounds like the beginning of an interesting story. I quite like stories with sorceres and witches. I look forward to reading more.
I notice your title, Cariad, is the welsh word for love, interesting title.
Hello Lacy, how are you? I have just read your item, " What I should To Doing," and thought I would leave some comments.
First of all, I think your title should have been, "What I Should Be Doing," not, "To Doing."
I think we all have made a million excuses why we have not written, at some time in our lives and of course we are our worse critic. However posting your works will mean many other writers can read it and you will be surprised at the outcome.
Hello again, Fhionnuisce. I have just your poem, "The Calalmity Of Love," and thought I would leave some comments.
Another enjoyable poem from you. This one is quite amusing. I read a poem a little while ago which is similar to this and the writer wishes there was a delete button. That would be good wouldn't it?
Hello Candy, how are you? I have just read your essay, " Want Some?" and thought I would leave some comments.
I enjoyed reading this, you sound very passionate about your cooking. I do not enjoy cooking very much, I feel like it is a chore and yet I have two chefs in the family, both men.
Hello Kghowel, how are you? Welcome to WDC, I hope you enjoy your time here.
I have just read your item, " The Human Life Experience," and thought I would leave some comments.
What a lovely read. You are right, there are so many wonderful things to enjoy in life, but how unfortunate that so many people choose to look at the negative.
Hello Smij, how are you? I have just read your short story, " Clean Up This Mess," and thought I would leave some comments.
A bit gruesome, there has obviously been some kind of killing. At the mention of a wonderful dinner, it leaves me wondering if the victim is dinner. I shudder at the thought. However, I did enjoy the story.
One suggestion: In this line, "she said more calmly then I expected. " then should be than.
Best wishes.
Sanita
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