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3,044 Public Reviews Given
3,044 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Summer Fruit  
Review by Sanita
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Shepard, thank you for your entry in the "Invalid Item"  .

I really enjoyed this poem, I loved the way you took the Summer fruits and used them to warm up in Winter.

My favourite verse:

"So let the frosty wind be foul
all wrapped up in your cozy cowl.
Warmed inside not by your vest,
but by the fruit of summers best."

You did a really good job with the prompt and I have no suggestions.

Best wishes and good luck in the contest.

Sanita
552
552
Review of War  
Review by Sanita
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello abahar and welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.

I have just read your poem, "War," and thought I would leave some comments.

Very vivid imagery in your poem as it tells of the devasting effects of war.

I wish there were never any wars but I doubt that will ever happen. It is very sad.

In the first line did you mean rose petal and not rose pedal?

Thank you for sharing your poem.

Sanita
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553
Review by Sanita
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Mariem, a belated welcome to WDC. I have just read your poem, "What Time Doesn't Forgive," and thought I would leave some comments.

So many questions that we will probably never know the answer to. We look back and wonder what if.

In this line: "we had to understand the importance of it, but the time for that has already pass." Pass should be passed.

And this line: "I wonder, if you ever think of this things like me, " this should be these.

Thank you for sharing your thoughtful poem.

Best wishes.

Sanita
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554
Review by Sanita
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Addy S. welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.

I have just read your poem, "Hurting Is Not An Option," and thought I would leave some comments.

Letting go of someone we love is never easy and as your poem says when we are the ones who have been let go of it is even worse.

In this line:" letting go thats the one tying that happiness :)," I think you meant "That,s the one thing."

And I am not sure what you meant in this line:" but maybe they can just be l
let go of ?"

Thank you for sharing your poem.

Sanita
555
555
Review of My Mother's Hands  
Review by Sanita
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello E Greycourt and welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.

I have just read your poem " My Mother's Hands." and thought I would leave some comments.

I thought this a beautiful poem. It tells so much without really saying anything.

A mother's hands tell of a lifetime of experiences.

No errors.

Best wishes.

Sanita
556
556
Review of The First Rain  
Review by Sanita
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Ruhi, how are you? I have just read your story, "The First Rain," and thouht I would leave some comments.

First of all I want to say how beautifully written, I could not stop reading it drew me in immediately.

What a sad story and even more so to think these things actually happen.

Poor child to be excited at the prospect of potato stew only to have his life cut short but some callous driver.

Lovely but sad story.

Best wishes.

Sanita
557
557
Review of My Obese Prowler  
Review by Sanita
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Jadetheunknown and welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.

I have just read your poem, " My Obese Prowler," and thought I would leave some comments.

I love cats, I have one but she is not obese. Your poem describes your cat as a great bundle of fun.

Great poem, rhyming is a little eratic, but an enjoyable read.

Best wishes.

Sanita
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558
Review of My Best Friend  
Review by Sanita
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello LadyBug, how are you? Welcome to WDC, I hope you enjoy your time here.

I have just read your poem,"My Best Friend," and thought I would leave some comments.

I see by your description this is a real friendship. Have you given him the poem? You should, life is too short to hold back on your feelings.

This line tells me he is in love with you but you love him as a friend ,"Joseph, I don't feel the same way as you do,but my love for you is true."

It is sad when this happens.

I liked your poem and thought it written well and with feeling.

Best wishes.

Sanita
559
559
Review of My Nightmare  
Review by Sanita
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Hacktivist Jack, how are you? I am not sure if I have reviewed you before, but if not, welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.

I have just read your short story, "The Nightmare," and thought I would leave some comments.

A frightening nightmare indeed, but I am sure that is all it is and nothing bad will really happen.

I enjoyed your little story based on it though.

You might want to go back and edit it as it is not on the page properly. Perhaps you copied and pasted and it has not come out right?

One typo also: Reealising should be realising.

Thank you for sharing.

Sanita
560
560
Review of Oranges  
Review by Sanita
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello Young-Writer, how are you? I have just read your poem, "Oranges," and thought I would leave some comments.

I understood this completely and I think you made a good job of letting readers know how real this is.

The poem also makes me think she wants to eat but chides herself for it, telling herself she is fat and must not eat.

There is a lot of pressure on men and women to stay slim. We all see the glossy magazines with the super skinny Models and it is difficult to tell someone they do not need to look that way.

Thank you for sharing this. It is pause for thought indeed.

Sanita
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561
Review by Sanita
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello nexami and welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here. I have just read your poem, "Night Of Rememberance," and thought I would leave some comments.

A sad poem telling how someone has changed and has forgotten the writer.

Suggestions: I would write, "Five years," rather than, "5 years." it makes the presentation of the piece much nicer.

Also in this line: "neither the same choice of colors in your clothings," clothings should be clothes or clothing.

A good start.

Best wishes.

Sanita
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562
Review by Sanita
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
Hello Me, how are you? (thats sounds a little strange). I have just read your item, " The Gaining Of Like Universe 1 Part 2," and thought I would leave some comments.

To be honest I cannot see the point of these , "People growing or shrinking," stories. I cannot understand why anyone would want to make another person obese.

However, as this is a review I have a few suggestions. "Obeese," should be ,"Obese."

This sentence: "it has been about 2 hours and she was HUGE!" Should begin with a capital letter, "It."

Also this line: "and wishe for zeldas belly to inflate." Should be, and wished for Zelda's belly to inflate."

Hope this helps.

Best wishes.

Sanita
563
563
Review of A Wish  
Review by Sanita
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello dougal4 and welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.

I have just read yout poem, "A WIsh," and thought I would leave some comments.

Is it not funny how we all make these wishes, but they never come true?

I like your poem, I like the simplicity of it , Usually I would like to see proper language not ums and yeps. However, you took those words make them read perfect.

Great poem and I hope you do get your wish.

Sanita
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564
Review of Today It Ended  
Review by Sanita
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Embracing Life and welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.

I have just read your poem, "Today It Ended," and thought I would leave some comments.

The poem speaks of the end of a relationship and oozes of bitterness. I think it is always best to just move on, easier said than done I know.

I am not sure I like the swearing in it, it sort of cheapens the poetry and also the poem should be rated 13+ because of it.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Sanita
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565
Review by Sanita
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello Riley, I am not sure if I have reviewed you before, but if not, welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.

I have just read your poem, "We Live In A World Of Grey," and thought I would leave some comments.

I think many people share your thoughts of living in a, "world of grey," but I think it is only us that can make it better. We give in too readily and, as you say, life is short, we should make the most of it.

I think perhaps you could elaborate a little on your poem. Perhaps what you have to pay for? And why do have to give up all that was yours?

Also I think it best to stick to one spelling of the word grey, you have used both.

Thank you for sharing.

Sanita
566
566
Review by Sanita
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello lovelywords and welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.

I have just read your item, "an unfamiliar comfort," and thought I would leave some comments.

It sounds like you are experiencing a lot of different emotions here and of course a break up of a relationship will have a profound effect. It leaves a big gap and changes our lifetyles. I agree we all have to learn to comfort ourselves and also that we do not need anyone to make us happy. The only way to be happy is to be happy.

There is a lot of editing needed in your piece, commas where they are not needed and also your title should begin with capital letters. But you have stated it is not as yet edited.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Best wishes.

Sanita
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567
Review by Sanita
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello riverbedwriter, how are you? I have just read your short story," Grandma's Treasured Recipies," and thought I would leave some comments.

First of all I am glad you had a copy of your story after purging from the recycle!

I enjoyed this little read, a fun story. I do not think any of us could bake in quite the same way our Grandmothers could.

I see no room for improvement.

Thank you for sharing.

Sanita
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568
Review of Bite of Vengeance  
Review by Sanita
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Tabitha, I have just read your short story, "Bite of Vengeance," and thought I would leave some comments.

I remember reading this a while back and for some reason forgot to send a review.

This is funny and also very good. I wonder if people really do this sort of thing to get even.

An enjoyable read and I see no errors.

Thank you for sharing.

Sanita
569
569
Review by Sanita
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello Max, how are you? I have just read your short story, "The Hand At The Window," and thought I would leave some comments.

Did this actually Happen? If it did, I cannot imagine how afraid you were, especially being so young.

It is strange how some things remain with us, although in this case I am not surprised.

I have one suggestion with the writing, in this line: "Papi, who was this red, calloused man, had this shop somewhere downtown." I would change to, "Papi, who was a red, calloused man, had a shop somewhere downtown."

Thank you for sharing.

Sanita
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570
Review of Truth  
Review by Sanita
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Open thoughts, I am not sure if I have reviewed you before, but if not, welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.

I have just read your quote, "Truth," and thought I would leave some comments.

I completely agree, if only we all realised how powerful our words are. They can hurt, comfort, cause trouble, lie and of course tell the truth. We should indeed think before we speak.

Well said.

Sanita
571
571
Review by Sanita
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
Hello digi, how are you? I have just read your item, "Keep Your Car Clean With Wonderful Car Ma,2 and thought I would leave some comments.

I do not have a car and do not drive, but I am sure this is useful information for those who do.

There appears to a lot of writing missing, for example this line:" Keeping your vehicle's floor carpet in good shape may make sure that at property time you get the utmost come." It does not seem to make sense. There are a number of sentences like this. Perhaps you have copied and pasted and not all of it has come out?

Best wishes.

Sanita
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572
Review of Anthem of Zion  
Review by Sanita
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Inkwell and welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.

I have just read your item, " Anthem Of Zion," and thought I would leave some comments.

I am not a religious person but I think you have written a lovely song here. It would be interesting to hear the music for it.

I see no errors.

Thank you for sharing.

Sanita
573
573
Review of Winter Night  
Review by Sanita
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello K-Girl, welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.

I have just read your short story, " Winter Night," and thought I would leave some comments.

A lovely romantic little story, almost dreamy.

Suggestion: I felt there was something missing in this part, "Kristin sighed audibly at the sudden rush of warmth as they entered the doorway. She stripped off her winter clothing and kicked off her boots before heading towards the roaring fireplace. Michael followed suit, pausing to hang their coats. His girl had already stretched out on the floor with a pillow and blanket, wearing only a black silk nightgown. "

I wonder how Kristin mananged to get a pillow, blanket and change into a black nightgown, in the time it took Michael to hang up the coats." It just felt that part did not read right. However it is your story and this is just my opinion. *Smile*.

Best wishes.

Sanita
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574
Review by Sanita
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello J.L. McKelvey, welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.

I have just read your, "Three Story Challenge," and thought I would leave some comments.

I enjoyed these little stories, although I must say I like the first one best, it made me laugh. Typical cats!

Perhaps you can give each story a title?

Thank you for sharing.

Sanita.

"Invalid Item" 
575
575
Review of Better me  
Review by Sanita
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Denise and welcome to WDC. I hope you enjoy your time here.

I have just read your piece, "Better Me," and thought I would leave some comments.

You can be no more than yourself, which I am sure is perfectly good enough. I think all of the things you say you want to be amounts to confidence. If we are confident and believe, then we can be anything.

I like the message you give here.

Suggestion: I would not write "I want to be the girl," quite so much. Perhaps try to break it up little, for example: " I want to be the girl that knows how to be herself in new places. I want to be the person that can always be there for the one she loves. I want to be the girl that never gives up. I want to be the girl that always sees the good in people,"

Could read something like, "I want to be the girl who knows how to be herself in new places, is always there for the one she loves, that never gives up and always sees the good in people."

Hope this helps a little.

Best wishes.

Sanita
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