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1
1
Review of "Vampire Dreams"  Open in new Window.
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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My Feelings:
I enjoyed this. It was a fun, light-hearted read that made me giggle as a read (sang) it. *Crazy*

My Suggestions:
In Line 14, I'm not sure if you meant 'living' or 'loving'. Either way, it works, but I just figured I'd point in out, you know, just in case...

My Thoughts:
This fit the tune very well and is quite creative. It is definitely a 'spin' that I could not have predicted. My only "criticism" would be that it's just too short. The ended seemed to come on very abruptly which was disappointing because I was enjoying the little rock-out session with the hamster in my brain. All in all, I love it, though!

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*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

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2
2
Review of Abbot Farm  Open in new Window.
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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My Feelings:
This struck me. Right away, I could feel the tone of sadness and the weight of grief. I felt a sense of loss through your words and wished for a surprise --that my feeling of foreboding would be proven incorrect. I also felt a strong sense of nostalgia which made me smile though it did very little to alleviate any of the sadness and weight of your words.

My Suggestions:
Farm Plaza[,] - Due to the wording, I think a comma here might help keep things clear and smooth.
day[-]old - I think hyphenating these words might help to tie them together as one descriptor.
empty[,] shuttered - I think a comma here might help to separate these two words.
doors[. or ;]/Still... - It feels to me like one complete thought rushes into another complete thought here. I think a comma or semi-colon might help a bit with flow.


My Thoughts:
This is well-written and it flowed quite smoothly aside from a few tiny 'bumps'. The wording is beautiful and truly adds to the haunting sadness of the scene it relays. You did an excellent job of making this come to life for the reader. Everything is clear and it is a great example of "show, don't tell."

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*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

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3
3
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love the story behind this item. It is lighthearted and filled with admiration and love. It is also well-written and, while your emotions come through, you did not allow this to become overtly emotional nor too biographical --you struck a perfect balance between the two and I commend you for keeping the story on course, never straying from the main goal or forgetting that the story was serving as an introduction to the recipes. Masterfully done!

The recipes sound delicious and, with your story in my memory, I am sure that it will add more warmth and love to every bite when I get a chance to try one of them. *Wink*

The item is well-organized and easy to follow. All around, this is just awesome and I thank you for sharing it!

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace


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4
4
Review of Taffy  Open in new Window.
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
I enjoyed this little essay very much. The whole comparison of thoughts to taffy really amazed me. It's so true! I don't think I'll ever again be able to see someone pulling taffy without feeling fully inspired --as though the actions of pulling aren't mesmerizing enough! *Wink*

It is well-written and the flow was smooth. Everything was easy to follow and understand, and I really liked the conversational feeling of the essay. I could relate to it with ease, in my own way, and thoroughly loved every paragraph.

There were a few tiny 'bumps' detected when I read this the first time, but I could not find them when I read the essay the second time, so I guess they weren't all that distracting or important. *Laugh*

All in all, this was a great read! Thank you for sharing it!

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace


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5
5
Review of Could Be Serious  Open in new Window.
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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My Feelings:
         I remember the feelings relayed throughout this poem very well. I think that, especially on a website such as WdC, this poem is one to which people with relate with ease. The need to write is something quite inexplicable, I think.

My Suggestions:
         Nothing stood out to me as an exact area in which this poem could be improved, but I did feel like it was lacking in some minor way. This could be a lack of my passion and compulsion to write blacking me from getting the full impact of your words, though. *Rolleyes*

My Thoughts:
         Well, this is a poorly organized review, isn't it? *Laugh* I think that I've covered most of my thoughts other than letting you know that I found this well-written and it was a very smooth read. Nothing gave me pause or felt 'bumpy'. I think you've wonderfully captured and expressed what it's like to be driven to writing. Overall, great job!

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*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

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6
6
Review of Silence  Open in new Window.
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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*Vignette6*Item Settings:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this item perfectly.

*Vignette2*Emotion & Imagery:
I think that this is a poem to which we can all relate. It is simple to understand what you are expressing while the reader's own emotions and memories are stirred. I think that we have all experienced both sides of this.

*Vignette5*Flow & Form:
The flow was mostly smooth, though there were a few spots where I felt a little bump in the road. Everything was simple to follow and understand. I think that the free verse form served your words very well.

*Vignette1*Suggestions:
There three commas within this poem. Since punctuation is not used throughout, this might prevent some readers from getting into a steady flow. I am not sure where I picked it up along the way, but my brain always thinks that punctuation should be used throughout or not at all. Of course, it's your baby, so it's your preference. *Wink* (Personally, I'd love to see how much the emotion can be amped up just by the addition of punctuation to guide the reader's voice so that it is read exactly as you mean it to be.).

I also wonder about the "loud" bursts of "Silence!" I think that, aesthetically and to even further the difference between the two parts, maybe the first could be italicized with an ellipses to soften it. The final one could even be a combination of both looks. This was just a random thought, but I felt like I should share it with you just in case... *Wink*

This last thing is where I felt the biggest hiccup in the flow. The fourth line under the second silent, has the word ban, but it in a past-tense situation. I think that banned would smooth the flow right out here.

*Vignette4*Overall Thoughts:
I enjoyed reading this poem. It was both relaxing and jolting at once. The way that you were able to show both sides of it so seamlessly is wonderful! The poem is well-written and everything is clearly relayed.

*Vignette3*Rating & Reason:
In all honesty, I do not know what it is, but something is gnawing at me and telling me that, somehow, this poem could be made stronger. I just can't put my finger on it. I am giving a 4.0 rating because I think it's just missing one last bit of 'oomph' and, as this poem shows, I know that you have it in you!

*Fleurdelis*Please remember that this review is based solely on my own personal knowledge, opinions, and preferences. Ignore as little or as much as want. *Wink*
Thank you,
Stephanie Grace

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7
7
Review of Darkness  Open in new Window.
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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VENI (I came)

Item Details: The title, description, and chosen genres all fit this item perfectly. The item rating could be much lower, though. While dark in feeling, there is nothing that causes this poem to be above "E".
Character(s): The narrator's voice is very reminiscent from the get-go and is pretty consistent throughout the poem.
Context: The things left unsaid, to me, add to the strength of this poem. Your words are simple to understand, but relating them to one's own life is found in the silence.
Flow: The flow was a bit choppy for me. The reading of this poem, as is, never felt 'natural'.
Emotion: The emotion behind the words is not only easy to understand, but also easy to feel --especially as your words force memories to the forefront of the reader's mind. The ease with which one could relate to this poem makes this incredibly emotional to read.
Imagery: The imagery throughout the poem is strong, but I think that the best imagery comes from the reader's own memories --which adds to the emotion. That you left the imagery like vague snapshots furthered the ability to connect the pictures to memories. I love that.

Vidi (I saw}

Grammatical Notes: I love that you have chosen to use punctuation throughout this poem, however, many of the commas break up the flow of the poem and image being relayed. For example, the first two lines are one complete thought, but the comma-pause at the end of Line One creates a disconnect. This become even more prevalent in the third stanza when the comma at the end of Line 3 breaks up a complete thought, leaving Line 4 feeling out of place.
Other Suggestions: My biggest suggestion is a look at the punctuation throughout, but Line Eight is the one instance in which it was not ending punctuation. The detail 'from daylight' should be set apart from the rest of the contents by commas, but it's the wording that really got me. This is the only line in which the reader can feel the force of rhyme due to the change of wording.

Amavi (I loved it)

Summary of thoughts: I find myself relating to this poem with ease and I love it. The imagery of literally dark places really makes this come to life as the reader connects your words to their memories.
Rating: 4.0
Rating Explanation: I am going with a 4.0 only because I think that the flow could be improved. Line Eight is the biggest stand-out, but the punctuation throughout is what prevented me from fully connected with your words, so I think that a quick read-aloud could really help you push this way beyond five stars --just pay attention to the pauses and line breaks. *Wink*

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace


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8
8
Review of Autumn Morning  Open in new Window.
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Poetry Review 3 of 3 from Maryann Author IconMail Icon


Understanding This Review:
         *Checkg*: Statement applies to poem.
         *XR*: Second look suggested.
Additional comments may be included directly under the appropriate aspect.

ITEM DETAILS
*Checkg*Title fits item.
*Checkg*Item is rated appropriately.
*Checkg*Description is well-suited to the item.
*Checkg*Item fits within the chosen genres.

KEY ELEMENTS
*Checkg*Everything was simple to follow and understand.
*Checkg*The flow was smooth with little to no hiccups.
*Checkg*Syllable count/ pattern is steady throughout.
The flow of this poem was so smooth that I was actually a little surprised when I counted the syllables on my second read and realized that there was no steady count. Masterfully done!
*Checkg*Emotion is well-relayed and easily understood.
This was so relaxing and I cannot even tell you how many fond memories this stirred up! Not only is autumn my favorite season, but you captured my favorite time of an autumn day. You described, perfectly, many mornings from my life!
*Checkg*Scene and/or image can easily be seen while reading.
This came to life for me, not only through my memories, but through your wonderful descriptions. This poem is certainly a feast for ears and eyes as well as the heart and mind!

OTHER SUGGESTIONS
In the second stanza, the third line felt a bit lengthy, but didn't really take anything away from the poem. In the fourth line of this stanza, I am wondering why you chose non-ending instead of unending. Nothing wrong with it, but it made me curious.

Looking at punctuation, I would suggest commas at the end of Lines Six and Eighteen, as well as one after distance in Line Nine. Of course, this is personal preference thing, but I figured I'd point out those spots for your consideration since punctuation is used throughout the poem.*Wink*

RATING AND OTHER THOUGHTS
I'm not even sure what else I could say about this poem! It is wonderfully written and really captured my heart. Thank you for bringing me to my favorite moments in time! With all that I have said, how could I possibly click anything but '5.0'? Beautiful poem!

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9
9
Review of More  Open in new Window.
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Poetry Review 2 of 3 from Maryann Author IconMail Icon


Understanding This Review:
         *Checkg*: Statement applies to poem.
         *XR*: Second look suggested.
Additional comments may be included directly under the appropriate aspect.

ITEM DETAILS
*Checkg*Title fits item.
*Checkg*Item is rated appropriately.
*Checkg*Description is well-suited to the item.
*Checkg*Item fits with the chosen genres.
         I was a tad surprised, after reading, that religious nor spiritual was listed as a genre.

KEY ELEMENTS
*Checkg*Everything was simple to follow and understand.
*Checkg*The flow was smooth with little to no hiccups.
*Checkg*Syllable count/ pattern is steady throughout.
         While there was no set syllabic count, the short lines throughout this poem, in combination with the abcb rhyme scheme, gave this poem a wonderful, lighthearted tone and somewhat fast pace that I really enjoyed.
*Checkg*Rhyme scheme is consistent and rhymes do not feel forced.
         The only comment that I could point out here is the rhyming of more with itself, however, that would just be a nitpick. Although I had it drilled into my head that a word should not be rhymed with itself, this did not detract from your words nor the flow, that it is repeated in the poem, makes it feels... right. (Basically, if you're going to give this to my old teachers, change it; if not, don't you dare change a thing!). *Pthb*
*Checkg*Emotion is well-relayed and easily understood.
         One of my favorite aspects of this poem is how you manage to relay your longing to be more and, later, your faith, without making this poem feel too heavy. Between flow, tone, and wording, this poem felt so light that the weight of it just crept in without being ... a slap in the face, for lack of better words.
*Checkg*Scene and/or image can easily be seen while reading.
         The ease with which the reader can relate to this poem leads to memories and scenes from their own life dancing before their mind's eye which, to me, is perfect imagery.

OTHER SUGGESTIONS
While the syllabic count did not hinder the flow, I noticed that it was just a stray syllable here or there that was extra or absent. I don't think it's necessary, but if you wanted to make it more consistent, that could easily be done by just adding or changing a word here and there.

In the last line, my brain kept reading never instead of not. I am not sure if this is because of the syllable count or what, but I figured that I'd mention it.

RATING AND OTHER THOUGHTS
I love the feeling of this poem and that it is not overwhelming with emotion nor religion. The longing to be more is not shoved in the reader's face, but told to them in such a way that, as they relate, they are smiling and comforted instead of feeling any sadness. That it left me smiling only added to the pleasure of reading your words. While, sure, one could nitpick here and there, I found this poem to be a delight and did not see any blatant errors nor big gaps where improvement could be made. For that reasons, I'm going to click 5.0 and thank you for sharing this with us. It's a refreshing read. Thank you.

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10
10
Review of Rendezvous  Open in new Window.
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Poetry review 1 of 3 from Maryann Author IconMail Icon


Title, Etc:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this poem perfectly.

Form and Flow:
I did not notice any particular form or pattern. The flow was fairly smooth, though I did feel a few little hiccups while reading.

Feeling and Imagery:
The emotion definitely came through. As I read, there was a feeling of happiness, but also a sense of longing in the last two stanzas which really made this come to life. The final line not only summed up the poem in a great way, but it also allowed the feelings to linger in my heart. I love that this poem could be interpreted in different ways --an elderly spouse holding onto youth through the power of love that has aged with them, someone missing as ex from their past, a widow[er] still holding onto a connection with their late spouse --The possibilities are amazing! The interpretation is important because, for many, this poem will come to life before their mind's eye through memories and faces from their past or present. In that way, the imagery is brilliant! You do not give specific, instead, you let us, your readers, think of our own places of rendezvouses in which we have found comfort or love.

Suggestions:
*Earth*Since punctuation is used, I think that another look at that aspect could improve the flow. Specific spots for your consideration:
         *Moon*End of Line Two: Comma or Semi-colon?
         *Moon*Line Eight: Comma after ecstasy?
         *Moon*End of Line Eleven: I'm really not sure here, but my brain is screaming that a colon might work better than the current semi-colon by not only adding more 'punch' to the next line, but also because the next line kind of defines the point of the stanza...
*Earth*In Line Six, I think 'lay' should be 'lie'.
*Earth*This was just something that sprung in my head and it carries no weight, but in Line Sixteen, my brain kept screaming 'our every' instead of 'every night's'. I just thought I'd mention it to make you think about the possibilities of the line. It is fine as it is, but... yeah, I had the thought while reading, so I share it.

Overall Thoughts and Rating:
I love the feeling of this poem and the ease with which I could relate it to my own life. I think the flow could be a little better, but the emotion was the strong point, and the reader-to-word connection was astounding. I'm giving a 4.5 rating just because of little nitpicks, but I really love this poem. I'm truly in love with how you managed to write about that can be related to such various situations in life. Wonderful job!

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11
11
Review of A Gift for Her  Open in new Window.
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
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*Fire*Congrats! You're receiving a gift from "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. ! The Electric Package has been ordered for you from: and includes the reviews of three fiction/non-fiction stories & three poems! Enjoy! *Fire*

*Lightning*Title, Etc:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this item perfectly.

*BurstB*Flow & Format:
The flow was fairly smooth, however, there were a few little bumps here and there. From beginning to end, though, everything was simple to follow and understand.

*Lightning*Emotion & Imagery:
Even without incredibly-detailed descriptions of everything, I could see it all. You give the reader just enough to envision it all without overwhelming them --or your writing, with unnecessary details. As for emotion, not only do you give your reader enough to understand Graham's feeling, but also to feel for him. A part of me wanted to know more about him and what he'd done or how much he'd changed, but the change was evident and how he ended up in jail can easily be assumed. Again, you gave enough to make it come to life without overwhelming. Your self-control amazes! I would have had people falling asleep!

*BurstB*Suggestions:
         *Fire*Paragraph One
The fragmented sentences (three through six) broke up the flow a bit too much for me. Also, in the fifth sentence, canvass should be canvas.
         *Fire*Paragraph Three
I believe whom should be who unless this is reworded as to whom the voice belonged.
Walking at a brisk pace, he stopped... - While this does make sense and I understand what's being said, it caused me to pause and reread as it's saying he's making two opposing actions at one time.
         *Fire*Paragraph Five
In the dialogue, ten year old should be hyphenated to tie together as one "word" ten-year-old.
         *Fire*Paragraph Eight
The title of the book should be italicized or underlined.
         *Fire*Paragraph Nine
gift wrapped - Hyphenating these words would help to better link them together as one adjective/ word.
         *Fire*Paragraph Ten
between the guests[,] while - Comma not needed as 'carrying - drinks' is the added detail, not 'he-guests], *Wink*
         *Fire*Paragraph Eleven
one glance[,] and - Comma not needed.
         *Fire*Paragraph Fourteen
violence and [his] - This 'his' felt unnecessary to me, but that could just be me. *Wink*
         *Fire*Paragraph Seventeen
"Hi[ ]"Johnathan - Missing space.
         *Fire*Paragraph Twenty
my pics - While, yes, he could really think that way, there's nothing before now that implies he would use slang, so I think pictures might be a better word choice.
         *Fire*Paragraph 22
teeth.[ ]Her - Missing space.
         *Fire*Paragraph 23
life now[,] and - No need for comma.

*BurstO*Overall Thoughts & Rating:
This is such a horrible thing to say, but I like the ending. I mean, I love the story as a whole, but I especially love that you did not give this the predictable/ typical ending. I'm going with a 4.0 just because I think that a quick edit could improve this piece, but this truly a great display of your creativity and talent.

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

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12
12
Review of Words  Open in new Window.
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
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TITLE & MORE: The item title and rating are perfect, however, I think that the description could be better. I congratulate you on the win with this poem, but I think that a description that focuses more on the inspiration for the poem might bring in more readers (and you could also add the win as a note within the item.). *Wink* I was also surprised that 'writing' was not one of the chosen genres.

FLOW & FORM: The rhyme scheme keeps everything flowing smoothly until Line Seven. In L7 there is a disconnect, not only with the rhyme, but the emotion. I think that having this line rhyme with one prior would help to "bring it home"... *Blush*

CREATIVITY & WORDING: I really love what you're saying, but I find this poem a bit too wordy. The word 'that' quickly becomes redundant and it doesn't feel essential after the first line.


EMOTION & IMAGERY: Imagery is not applicable other than through memories, however, I think that we can all relate to this in the emotional department. Words are magic --both bad and good, black and white.


FAVORITE BITS & SUGGESTIONS:(*Derived solely from humble opinions.)
bring grief to our heart is my favorite bit as it put added weight on my own heart as I read.

For suggestions, I think that removing common (filler) words would greatly heighten your words. Beyond that, I feel that your final line comes as a shock. The emotional aspect of this poem seems focused on the internal affects caused by words. The final line just seemed a bit out out place, to me --perhaps because of the word 'one'.

OVERALL THOUGHTS & RATING: I love what you are saying, but I think that simplifying the wording would amplify their meaning. The final line feeling disjointed is what really makes me click '3.0' for a rating because the focus changes so much from the power of words to the power of one word without warning. You've got something great here... just let it blossom!


Thank you for sharing your poem. Please remember that this review is based only on my own opinions and is not to be taken with any weight; it is only the thoughts of one person and is not meant to do anything more than let you know my thoughts as a reader.*Kiss*

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

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13
13
Review of Lurking Raven  Open in new Window.
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Dawn: (Title, etc)
The title, description, and chosen genres all fit this item perfectly. Personally, I think that the rating could be lower, but better safe than sorry, right? *Wink*

Sunrise: (Contents)
Everything was simple to follow and understand. The flow was smooth from beginning to end. *Delight* No rhymes felt forced nor did I count any missing or stray or syllables. In short, all around great job here! *Wink* The wording, to me, was very enchanting which I love!

Noon: (Imagery, Emotion)
Everything was simple to see as I read. I love the dark feeling and tone of this poem! It drew me right in and the ending left me in quite a reflective mood. Wonderful!

Sunset: (Suggestions)
I read this five times (literally) and no bells and whistles went off, so I got nothin'. *Wink*

Dusk: (Overall thoughts)
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem. It is very well-written and the dark mood of it captivated me. It's original in content and imagery. Just a truly enjoyable read! Thank you!

*Moon*Write On!*Moon*
*RainbowL*Stephanie Grace*RainbowR*

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14
14
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Dawn: (Title, etc)
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this item perfectly.

Sunrise: (Contents)
The first thing that caught my attention was the extra spacing throughout this poem which not only takes away from the visual appeal, but also creates a disconnect from one line to the next. Having said that, the flow was pretty smooth from beginning to end, though I did detect a few hiccups. No Rhyes felt forced and everything was simple follow and understand. *Bigsmile*

Noon: (Imagery, Emotion)
It was simple to not only understand the emotions being relayed, but also to feel them as well as to feel for the narrator. Too many people face such situations and I think that you handle writing about it very well and tactfully. (You are to be admired for getting away and setting yourself free, my dear!). This was not an image-heavy piece, but I think that all readers will have faces and memories flashing before their mind's eyes as they read your words.

Sunset: (Suggestions)
Other than the spacing thing, the only real suggestion that popped into my head is the punctuation. I think that taking another look at the punctuation would help to smooth out any bumps in the flow. The period at the end of Stanza 2, Line 1 is one area that stands out the most to me as it breaks up the thought that continues in the next line.

Dusk: (Overall thoughts)
I hope that writing this was therapeutic to you. Your strength really shone through your words and is something to be admired. This is well-written and a great display of strength as well as talent. *Delight*

*Moon*Write On!*Moon*
*RainbowL*Stephanie Grace*RainbowR*

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15
15
Review of ANCIENT GIFTS  Open in new Window.
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*Candlev*


TITLE, ETC:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this poem perfectly.

FORM & FLOW:
The free verse form of this poem gave it a wonderful feeling of just... flowing. To me, it felt like this could have been you just sitting and letting your thoughts flow; it had a very natural flow to it. Having said that, there were just three tiny little spots where the flow could possibly have been a bit smoother...

IMAGERY & EMOTION:
The imagery stirred by your words is horrific and beautiful all at once. The contrast of what is, what was, and what could be all came alive at once before my mind's eye. The impact of the three also tugged at the strings of my heart. I felt the deep respect for the earth which came through your words, felt the mourning for the loss of it, and the anger for those that cause the loss. Honestly, this poem said so much more than what I read on my screen.

SUGGESTIONS & TYPOS:
*Bullet*In Line Three, the contraction kind of caught me off-guard. I think that using have not might not only smooth out the flow here, but might also keep with that natural feeling without pushing the boundaries. When I think of 'ancient', though, my brain right away wants to eliminate contracted words, so this could just be me.
*Bullet*In Stanza 4, Line 2: I think that it is meant to be its.
*Bullet*In Stanza 5, the first line threw me off a bit. It paints a picture, but not as descriptive nor as passionate as with the other lines. Again, it could just be me, but it just... fell flat, I guess. *Blush*

OVERALL & RATING:
I really love this poem, what it expresses, and the message that it relays. I think it is very well written and I love the wording, the imagery and, most of all, the emotions. I'm still truly amazed by how managed to combine such a varying array of imagery and emotion without having to 'spell it all out' or go into detail. I'm giving a 4.5 rating only because of the little hiccups that I felt in the flow, but this poem is definitely one that could be well beyond ten stars with just a minimal amount of coaxing. *Wink*

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16
16
Review of Angels Listened  Open in new Window.
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM T...  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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Title, Etc:
The title, description, and chosen genres all fit this poem perfectly. I wonder, though, about the rating. While it is a poem that could be appropriate for all readers, I just feel the the mention of Jesus being nailed to something might push this into ASR territory as that is, technically, a mention of violence. *Blush*

Flow, Form, Narrative:
Once again, you nailed it with the abcb rhyme scheme (I should probably find better wording, but I can't think... LOL)! No rhymes felt forced and the rhymes kept everything moving along nicely. The flow was smooth, though I did detect one tiny hiccup, but I think it's just me. Everything was simple to follow and understand and I really love that you took a tale that's been told and truly made it your own. Wonderful job, my dear!

Emotion, Imagery:
It's simple to detect your faith and love in each line of this poem and it came through very clearly. I could feel for the angels and other people mentioned. I think that this is a very touching poem that could really put tears in some eyes! As far as imagery goes, everything was simple to see as I read your words. It really came to life!

Suggestions:
Stanza 4, Line 2:
         *Bullet*Since there's no solid syllable count, I was a bit thrown off by Calv'rys here, also, I wonder if this should be possessive, but I'm not very religious, so I could be very wrong here... *Laugh*

Overall Thoughts:
I actually found this poem quite inspiring and very touching. It is a wonderful testament of your faith and I love how you've presented this story of Christ. It's well-rounded and very well-written. I was surprised that I didn't feel any redundancy at the repeated phrase which is just more proof of your talent! Beautiful job all around with this one!!!


*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

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17
17
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM T...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Title, Etc:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this poem perfectly.

Flow, Form, Narrative:
You did a wonderful job with the abcb rhyme scheme which was consistent throughout the poem and gave everything a nice, lighthearted feeling and bouncy rhythm without any rhymes feeling forced. The flow was smooth from beginning to end and everything was simple to follow and understand. *Delight*

Emotion, Imagery:
I could easily envision everything as I read your words and found myself smiling all the way through. It was simple to detect the desire and anticipation of the narrator which really made everything come to life --and added to the burst of laughter at the end!

Suggestions:
Line 4
         *Bullet*I found the word door a bit odd here as you are referring to the tent. I think that flap might be appropriate...
Line 23
         *Bullet*I'm fairly certain that this is just me, but my brain kept wanting to read gone in there instead of gone there. I really don't have any explanation to justify the reasoning, LOL, but I figured I'd mention it anyway.

Overall Thoughts:
I found this to be absolutely adorable! I can easily picture this illustrated and made into a book --and I'd buy it for every child I know! It's just so cute! *Laugh* Not sure what else I can even say! I love it!

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace
18
18
Review of The Brave  Open in new Window.
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Dawn: (Title, etc)
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this item perfectly.

Sunrise: (Contents)
Everything was simple to follow and understand. No rhymes felt too forced, though I did feel a few little hiccups in the flow; maybe trying reading this aloud to see if there's anywhere you find yourself pausing or anything? The message of your words is relayed very well and I commend you for a job well done. Amen to your message!

Noon: (Imagery, Emotion)
It was easy to envision everything but, more than anything, it was simple to fell your words. This definitely yanked on my heartstrings. Great job!

Sunset: (Suggestions)
Other than the aforementioned flow concern, In line 5, I was bit thrown off by an others' since "an" implies singular bit the apostrophe placement in "others'" implies plural...*Confused**Blush*

Dusk: (Overall thoughts)
I cannot say enough how much I love your message. I think you did a great job with this poem! I truly don't even know what else to say... *Blush*

*Moon*Write On!*Moon*
*RainbowL*Stephanie Grace*RainbowR*

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19
19
Review of Ancient Enemies  Open in new Window.
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Dawn: (Title, etc)
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this poem perfectly.

Sunrise: (Contents)
Quite a lot going on here with the formatting, huh? *Delight* You did a great job with the acrostic form and the additional rhyming kept everything moving along without any rhymes feeling forced. I also did not count any missing or stray syllables. *Thumbsup* The flow was pretty smooth, though there were a few places (like the first line) where the wording felt a little awkward. I think the syllable count and rhyming is to blame though.

Noon: (Imagery, Emotion)
Everything was simple to envision and I love that this takes a different look at the whole cats vs. dogs things (dogs rule! LOL). The last line gave me a good laugh; I love it!

Sunset: (Suggestions)
         The only line that really gave me pause was the seventh. I don't know if it's because of the period at the end of Line 6 which made it feel a bit incomplete or what it is, but something about that line felt a wee bit off to me. *Blush*

Dusk: (Overall thoughts)
I found this to be very creative and well-written. I love that it tells a complete story that I could easily believe and see as reality. It definitely made me think about it, that's for sure! Great job!!!

*Moon*Write On!*Moon*
*RainbowL*Stephanie Grace*RainbowR*

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20
20
Review of The Wrong Day  Open in new Window.
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)

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*Star*First Thought:
This is so incredibly me ...You really have no idea. *Laugh*

*Moon*Feelings:
I got a wonderful laugh from this! Not only could I relate to it with ease, but the story that it tells is well-rounded and quite comical!

*Star*Visuals:
Imagery wasn't exactly a focus in this poem, which is great since it allowed me to put my own faces to the "names". *Thumbsup*

*Moon*Technicalities:
         *Sun*Syllable count was perfect-o from nine on down to one!
{indent]*Sun*The flow was very smooth throughout, though I did feel like the bits of dialogue could use a bit of quotation markage. *Wink*
         *Sun*I think that another look could be taken at punctuation ...especially at the end of the first and second lines, but it's poetry and poet's preference, so I can't hold that against ya, can I? *Laugh**Wink*
         *Sun*Line 8... It could just be me, but I would about italicizing this or something. I mean, I get the remark and action it represents, but I think it's still too new for me to accept in this form. *Blush* (Me and slang are not the best of friends...).

*Star*Overall Thoughts:
I thoroughly enjoyed the story told within this poem and love the smile and laughter that I got from it. You did a great job with the form and I love the lightheartedness found in your words. Wonderful job!

*Moon*Rating:
I'm going with a 4.5 because of my nitpicks, but, really... Have I mentioned how much I love this and how very "me" it is? *Laugh*

*Suitheart*,
Stephanie Grace*Quill*

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21
21
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)
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Dawn: (Title, etc)
The title, description, and chosen genres fit this item very well. The rating, however, should be a notch or two higher. The title present within the item might look a little better centered, but that could just be personal preference on my part.

Sunrise: (Contents)
The flow was pretty smooth, though I did detect a few little hiccups while reading this. Everything was easy to follow until the end. I was left feeling a bit confused as I could not tell if it was being implied that he'd been dreaming or that he'd died. Of course, my brain went with the latter. *Cry**Blush*

Noon: (Imagery, Emotion)
The imagery is very well-written. I could easily envision everything throughout this story. The emotion was also pretty well-done as I easily felt for Corbin and could feel the suspense and fear of his situation through your words. I think that adding the note about him being autistic added another layer of sympathy in my heart.

Sunset: (Suggestions)
"Go away,"...
         *Moon*Due to what is going on, I would expect that this would be said with more conviction, so I was a bit surprised that no exclamation point was used in this paragraph.
towards
         *Sun*Personal twitch, I guess, but there's no need for an "S" at the end of directional words like toward.
high[-]pitched sirens ... earshot.
         *Moon*I think that hyphenating here would help to better link these words together as one description/ thought.
         *Moon*In this same spot, I was a bit confused as its said the sirens are drawing near and fading out. Perhaps add then after the second and? I also felt a bit like this siren part could be its own sentence to avoid the confusion...*Blush*
...a world of a world of...
         *Sun*I'm not sure that the second a world of is meant to be here.
...balance. /A...
         *Moon*Extra line skipped here.

Dusk: (Overall thoughts)
I love that you were able to make the scene come to life for me as well as you're ability to make me feel for the main character. I think that this story could use a little more attention from you, but not too much. The primary thing that I was left looking for was more clarity in the ending. You've definitely got something great here; just let it grow.

*Moon*Write On!*Moon*
*RainbowL*Stephanie Grace*RainbowR*

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22
22
Review of Forgiveness  Open in new Window.
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

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*Vignette4*Title, Description, Etc:
The title, description, and chosen genres all fit this poem perfectly. The rating, I think, is a bit higher than it needs to be, but that's never a bad thing.

*Vignette2*Form & Flow:
You did a great job with the aabb rhyme scheme without having any rhymes that felt too forced. The flow was pretty smooth, though there were a few places where I felt like it could have been just a little smoother. Three cheers for using punctuation as well, since that definitely improved the flow! *Delight*

*Vignette5*Emotion & Imagery:
It was simple to detect the emotions and understand the feelings being relayed. The imagery, to me, is primarily reader-driven and would stir some memories and images from his/her own life which is always great as is tends to add to the ease with which the reader can relate to your words.

*Fleurdelis*Suggestions:
         *Key*I'm not sure if the first stanza is meant to be repeated since there is no explanation given as to why it would be, so I figured I'd mention it just in case it's not meant to appear twice.
         *Key*In the fourth line (and eighth), I think that nor might be more appropriate than or, but that could just be me.
         *Key*In Line 10, its' should be its.
         *Key*The dialogue bits caught my attention as they are only set apart from the narrative by a comma and are not italicized nor put in quotation marks. Again, could just be me. I think that, especially since this is not a literal conversation, italicization might help the flow in those areas.

*Vignette6*Overall Thoughts:
This is a well-written testament of your faith and beliefs, as well as the strength that you find in them.

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace*Quill*

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23
23
Review of MAD COW DISEASE?  Open in new Window.
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)

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*Vignette4*Title, Description, Etc:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this poem perfectly.

*Vignette2*Form & Flow:
I counted eight syllables in every line and loved the light-hearted, sing-songy rhythm that kept everything bouncing right along from beginning to end. Combine that with the abcb rhyme scheme with which no rhymes felt forced, and, for me, this just had a perfect flow. The punctuation also helped to keep everything flowing smoothly and it was all simple to follow and understand.

*Vignette5*Emotion & Imagery:
I love both the imagery and the emotion. Both were very well done and the build up was just spectacular! I was smiling all the way through while trying to figure out where you going to take me ...and then I literally laughed out loud. That was a perfect punchline!

*Fleurdelis*Suggestions:
         *Key*In Line 6, the word {i]is felt funny to me. While, yes, it works, at the same time, it came as a bit of a shock, I guess, since everything else is in past tense.
         *Key*T'will/T'was/T'was - These just caught my attention because I'm used to the apostrophe coming before the T's in these situations so as to take place of the missing I...
         *Key*In the final stanza, cuz made me twitch. Yes, I realize that this may be a nit-picky, personal twitch, but it drives me crazy every time. I think that 'cause might just be more appealing...

*Vignette6*Overall Thoughts:
I love this poem! I was hoping for a good laugh and I was not let down by any stretch! All of the technical elements were pretty flawless and the tale that it tells is just superb and so wonderfully lighthearted that I had to read this a few times before I could even think of all the technical things and search for things to nit-pick. *Delight* The ending is just perfect! Okay, now I'm gushing. I love it! 'Nough said. *Pthb*

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace*Quill*

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24
24
Review of Lovebird  Open in new Window.
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)

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*Vignette4*Title, Description, Etc:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this poem perfectly. I do, however, feel like perhaps having a word or two of insight into the poem in your description might entice more readers to click on in! *Wink*

*Vignette2*Form & Flow:
You stuck very well to the form and I could definitely feel that traditional sing-song rhythm of a limerick which kept everything moving along nice and smoothly. Everything was simple to follow and understand.

*Vignette5*Emotion & Imagery:
At first, I wasn't quite sure how I was supposed to be feeling. I mean, yeah, it's limerick, so I assumed I'd get a little laugh, but ya just never know. Having said that, I quickly found that lightheartedness and didn't stop smiling until... now. *Wink* This isn't an incredibly descriptive poem, but the simplicity of its story made everything simple to envision.

*Fleurdelis*Suggestions:
         *Key*The only things that caught my attention were the lack of punctuation (personal preference) and the seemingly random capitalization of some words like authors, gents, niece, herd, and ports. I wasn't sure of the purpose for the capitalization, so it really felt unnecessary.
         *Key*This could just be me, but the last line didn't seem to carry the same tune as the rest of the poem. I am not very good with meter and stressed/unstressed syllables, but perhaps that's where I lost something?

*Vignette6*Overall Thoughts:
I really enjoyed this. I love when a poem tells a complete story and that's exactly what I found here. I can see why this got a win! (Congratulations for that, by the way!). I'm going with a 4.5 only because of the nit-picking above, primarily the capitalization which did give me pause the first time I read this poem. I really love the tale that you've created here, though. The buildup was absolutely perfect and the punchline was great!

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace*Quill*

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25
25
Review of Peace  Open in new Window.
Review by Stephanie Grace Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)

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*Star*First Thought:
It feels very weird to me that I enjoyed this poem so much when there's snow all over, outside my window. *Laugh* (Thunderstorms, to me, are the only good things about the warmer months. LOL).

*Moon*Feelings:
The first stanza brought me back to childhood. I could feel that same anticipation of waiting for the boom. *Delight* (Which would then lead into a "score" of "Strike!" or "Ehh... Gutter ball" ...Even the angels had to bowl sometimes, just like my whole family. LOL). The calm and relaxation of the second stanza, though, is really what stuck with me after reading this. I found myself calm and smiling.

*Star*Visuals:
On top of the memories that this brought back, your words alone made this come to life. If was simple to envision and really came to life for me.

*Moon*Technicalities:
         *Sun*I think that the flow could be somewhat better which may be just due to punctuation. I think that a comma here and there could easily smooth out the flow as whole.
         *Sun*I think that this is just a personal twitch, but I felt like the word "in" was not really necessary. With short, syllable-count-based poems like this, those little words tend to feel like they're just fillers. I can't help thinking that you could find a one-syllable word that would add more to the image created here. I think that this especially caught my attention since the poem isn't really made of complete sentences, but of short descriptions that paint the whole picture...
         *Sun*This could be from memories more than the subjective side of my brain, but I really felt like the second line could be drawn out more to better show the anticipation in the counting. I think that just an ellipsis or something after each number would help to show the pace of the counting. (Hey, at least I didn't say hippopotamus like we used to do to count "real" seconds in school! LOL). *Wink*

*Star*Overall Thoughts:
I found this poem to be very enjoyable. You stuck wonderfully to the form and I didn't count any missing or stray syllables. The imagery is vivid and I absolutely loved the different feelings that I felt. I was quite amazed by the smoothness of transition from the darker first stanza to the lighter second one. I never felt like I had missed a beat, but felt that bit of reassurance that the storm was moving away. What I love the most is the last line. While plenty of people see summer as this wonderful time, I always think of it as a time of death. It kills the grass and leaves just as harshly as autumn. *Rolleyes* For that reason, and for the break from the horrible summer heat, I always look forward to the summer storms. I think that you captured the essence of a summer storm and the relief it brings just beautifully!

*Moon*Rating:
I'm going with a 4.0 only because of the flow which I think can easily be fixed within a few quick moments. This is a wonderful little gem here and I love it! Please, if you choose to take another look at this, let me know so that I can come back and re-rate, etc... You could easily push this beyond 5.0 ...now do it! *Smirk* *Wink*

*Suitheart*,
Stephanie Grace*Quill*

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