** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Review on behalf of "JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM CLOSED 4NOW" !
Review 2 of 2 of your Friendship Package from Simply Positive!
With the Message: "For Being A Simply Positive Winning Reviewer!!"
TITLE ETC:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this poem perfectly!
CONTENT:
The ABCB rhyme scheme worked very well with your words to keep everything moving along without any rhymes feeling forced. Everything was simple to follow, understand, and, most of all, feel!
AFFECT:
This poem yanked on my heartstrings and put tears in my eyes! The build up is magnificent and happy before the slow descent which allowed me to relive memories and smile before... Wonderful!!! This is definitely a poem of feeling and that comes through resoundingly clear!
EFFECT:
While your descriptions led my mind's eye one way, I love that this is also left open for the reader's past and memories to fill their head and make this a poem that is simple to relate to!
GRAMMAR:
I did not notice any typos, however, I do suggest adding punctuation. The flow was smooth, however, I really think that giving the reader's voice more guidance would greatly improve the flow and the whole of this poem.
ET CETERA:
All in all, I really enjoyed reading this and found it simple to relate to and FEEL... GREAT job!
RATING:
I really want to give this poem a 5.0, but I just feel like the flow is not as smooth as it could be, so I'm giving a 4.5... If you would like ANY further suggestions or help with punctuation, please, just e-mail me and I'll be glad to help!
, Stephanie Grace CHECK OUT my friend and Adopt-A-Newbie Rogue♥Sherri! Thank you!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Review on behalf of "Invalid Item" !
TITLE:
This title definitely fits this poem perfectly.
DESCRIPTION:
Makes the reader want to know the answer and fits the poem perfectly.
RATING/GENRES:
The rating is well-suited to the content, however, the chosen genre (Other) could be replaced. Perhaps Emotional or Experience...?
FORM/STYLE:
The ABA rhyme scheme and short lines worked wonderfully to keep the flow smooth from beginning to end without any rhymes feeling forced. Everything was simple to follow and understand.
EMOTION:
It was simple to understand the emotions of the poet, as well as having my own feelings stirred. Great!
IMAGERY:
The imagery throughout this poem is reader-driven, making memories flash before the reader's mind's eye as he/she read which makes this simple to relate to.
TECHNICAL/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice grammatical errors or typos. The only suggestion that I could come up with is to spend a few more seconds with this poem. It felt like something was missing, but I honestly don't know what...
OVERALL:
I enjoyed reading this poem and love how much you managed to convey with so few words!
RATING:
I'm goin' with a 4.5 only because I feel like this poem could somehow be improved...
Ugh! I can relate all too well to this poem! It got FAR too hot FAR too early this year! (I think this was the first year in my sister's 42 years of life that it was so hot on April 26, that she went to the shore for her birthday! --EWW!!!)
As far as the technical aspects of this poem, the flow was smooth and everything was simple to follow and understand. It did, however, feel more like prose than poetry to me...
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, nor did any suggestions pop into my head.
All in all, I wish I could say I enjoyed this poem, but it made me want to scream! --Another hot, yucky day in New Joisey, so this just hit too close to home! Okay, mission accomplished with making your reader feel and understand what you experienced --as well as inviting him/her to experience it through your words! That's an awesome thing... I just don't feel like "poetry" is the right category... It felt too blunt and narrated for poetry in my meaningless opinion. I think that, as a prose piece, this would be perfect! As a poem, though... I say 4.5.
BASICS:
The title, rating, and chosen genres all fit this poem perfectly. The description, however, might benefit from a word or two more of insight into the poem.
TECHNICALS:
This short poem really tugged at my heartstrings. It is heartfelt and beautiful... and so very true! The end put a big smile on my face. I also found this poem to be very easy to relate to --my dogs' faces were dancing before my mind's eye! --Especially playful Nala, the 100-lb. lap dog!
SPECIFICS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, nor did any suggestions pop into my head.
FURTHER THOUGHTS:
This poem is beautiful and heartfelt. It definitely says much, much more than just the words on the screen. I love it!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** HAPPY WDC BIRTHDAY!!!
TITLE:
This title fits the poem perfectly!
DESCRIPTION:
This title gives a glimpse of background information, however, I feel like it may benefit from a word or two of insight into the poem.
RATING/GENRES:
Poifect!
FORM/STYLE:
The AABB rhyme scheme worked wonderfully with your words to keep everything flowing smoothly from beginning to end without any rhymes feeling forced.
EMOTION:
This poem just yanked at the strings of my heart... Not only was it simple to understand the personal feelings that you expressed, but also to relate to feel for you, and to feel those feelings on my own as memories ran through my brain...
IMAGERY:
The imagery is reader-driven which really made this poem simple to relate to...
TECHNICAL/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, nor did any suggestions pop into my head.
OVERALL:
This is a beautiful poem and an amazing tribute... Very easy to understand and relate to... This just yanked on my heartstrings.
RATING:
Ya know, I try to put honesty in every review and hate giving out 5.0's as much as I do, but I just can't find anything to take away from those five stars...
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** HAPPY WDC BIRTHDAY!!!
TITLE:
Fits perfectly.
DESCRIPTION:
Short, sweet, and to the point!
RATING/GENRES:
The rating and chosen genre are both well-suited to this poem, however, I think that other genres may suit this just as well --Perhaps Friendship and Experience...?
FORM/STYLE:
The AABB rhyme scheme worked wonderfully with your words to keep the flow smooth from beginning to end without any rhymes feeling forced.
EMOTION:
This poem was simple to follow, understand, and feel! Moreover, this poem is so easy to relate to that it just yanks at the reader's heartstrings and has him/her nodding their head all the way through!
IMAGERY:
The imagery throughout this poem is reader-driven, making plenty of faces and memories flash before the reader's mind's eye as he/she reads --which just adds to the "relate-ability" of this poem!
TECHNICAL/SUGGESTIONS:
There were just a few tiny things that popped into my head as I read:
Among friends[,] This phrase is repeated without feeling repetitive, however, there is an inconsistency with the comma following the phrase...
[,] In a few lines, there are two statements being made, two different, but equal views/ideas being stated, so I think the commas in lines 2 and 4, a semi-colon may be better suited to the flow of the poem.
give and take My brain is at war over this one, but I'm just going to follow my heart and say what's there instead of what my brain says. I feel like hyphenation on either side of and would help to link these words together as the singular action that they are usually noted for; Also, because give-and-take usually describes ONE action or aspect of a relationship or friendship, the word "strengthen" felt a bit awkward --perhaps strengthens...?
OVERALL:
This poem not only spoke volumes to me, but really yanked on my heartstrings as a poem that I just say "Amen" to, my beautiful Sister!
RATING:
In good conscience, I'm going with a 4.5 just because I know that my beautiful sister can easily turn this into something amazing! Just a quick read through, and BAM! perfection will come knockin'!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** HAPPY WDC BIRTHDAY!!!
BASICS:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this piece perfectly.
TECHNICALS:
This is just beautiful! It's wonderfully well-written and simple to follow, understand, and, most of all, feel! I had tears in my eyes from the get-go and, by the end, I was crying. This is just beautiful, Sher, I don't know what else I can say, and I'm not going to waste your time by padding this review.
SPECIFICS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors nor did any suggestions pop into my head, however, I did see one li'l typo:
God’s [ ] came I think a word is missing...
FURTHER THOUGHTS:
This is a beautiful tribute to an angelic woman that I would have loved to meet. I know that she is watching you from her cloud with a smile on her face. Thank you for sharing this and letting us into your heart...
TITLE:
This title definitely fits this story perfectly.
DESCRIPTION:
Again, fits perfectly.
RATING/GENRES:
The rating and chosen genres are all well-suited to this story.
STORYLINE:
This story was easy to follow with a message that I hope all readers will carry with them everyday! The simplicity of this story made it easy to take everything in. Great!!!
CHARACTERS:
The characters were pretty well-developed for such a short piece, but I do think that the reader-character bond could be stronger...
EMOTION:
It was simple to feel the confusion of the humans as well as understand the feelings of the whales, which really made this quite thought-provoking!
IMAGERY:
The simple characters and settings kept everything wonderfully easy to see as I read! Wonderful!
DIALOGUE:
The dialogue was well-suited to the characters and situations which kept everything believable! I did, however, notice several instances in which a comma was missing before or after the names of "people" being spoken to.
TECHNICAL/SUGGESTIONS:
I noticed a few little things here that I think could easily be changed to make this story even better...
[somewhere] on the Atlantic... Since this story is written in a third person point of view, this phrase felt awkward because it makes it feel like the narrator doesn't fully know the story. Perhaps say in the middle of or just remove the word somewhere?
a young [women] Should be woman.
Hey[,] Luke,... Since this is being said to Luke, there should be a comma before his name as well as after.
I'm [ ]hearing Extra space here.
Putting on the head[ ]phones[,]...from confused[,] to anger[,] to... headphones can be one word. I think that a comma after headphones would improve the flow here by separating the two actions taking place. These commas seemed to break up the flow a bit by separating things that are linked together by the word to.
I mean, come [one], on
remember[,] sisters,... Comma to separate the sisters being spoken to from the dialogue directed at them.
[They] are far... There
OVERALL:
This short story is well-written and thought-provoking. I thoroughly enjoyed its insightful, eco-friendly tone and message!!!
RATING:
I'm rating this a 4.0 because I think that, with a bit more work, you could easily urge this story to blossom to its full potential.
This is a well-written and thought-provoking piece. Many people do not think about the lives of police officers and this helps to shed some light on that, making readers see that officers are human too. I do, however, feel that this piece could use a for more minutes of your attention to truly blossom into its full potential.
I noticed that the word "there" is used twice in places where it should be they are or they're.
Also, the ending was a bit confusing because you have built up this piece as geared toward officers, but then switch to soldiers at the end. While many police officers may have been Marines or soldiers, there are also many who have not, so this felt a bit awkward and came as a little shock.
All in all, I really enjoyed reading this and thank you for sharing it! I love when a piece leaves me thinking and that's exactly what this piece did. Great job!! Write on!!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Review on behalf of "Invalid Item" ! HAPPY WDC BIRTHDAY!!!
BASICS:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this piece of micro-fiction (Or perhaps micro-fact! lol) perfectly!!
TECHNICALS:
You stuck wonderfully to the word count and amazingly managed to bring your reader in AND tell a complete story!! The imagery is wonderful and vivid. I could see this taking place before my eyes! At the end, I could only smile and take a deep breath of the fresh air coming in through the open window --a nice, autumn-ish breeze of relief!
SPECIFICS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, nor did any suggestions pop into my head.
FURTHER THOUGHTS:
A lot of 55-word stories can leave the reader wanting more, but this felt so complete that I'm just amazed!! I love the simplicity and relaxed feeling of this story! Very well-written and real, Mr. Jace!
Oh My... Wow!!! I am absolutely floored by your talent!!! Each image is just... Oh my God! I am so incredibly jealous! lol.
Each image in this folder is just beautiful! The way you manage to capture life, nature, and the beauty in all things is clear in each and every item! I think "Don't Go Searching for Waterfalls" is my favorite, but that could be just because the title drew me right in and made me click it first!
I've known a lot of people that can draw OR paint, but very few that can do both so well!! You are truly an artist in every sense of the word! I bow down to you, Ms. Writeartista!!!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP LEADER
ANGEL ARMY MEMBER
HELPING HEARTS MEMBER
You did a beautiful job with this acrostic. Not only did you stick well to the form, but you made a clear statement that, in many ways, still resides in our world today! Amazing!!!
The only suggestions that I could conjure up would be to bold the beginning letter of each line and add punctuation. With or without, though, I still think that this poem is strong and perfect. It made me feel, stop, and reflect... What more could one ask for from a poem??
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP LEADER
ANGEL ARMY MEMBER
HELPING HEARTS MEMBER
TITLE:
This title fits perfectly --and struck a chord in my heart right from first sight!
DESCRIPTION:
Again, fits perfect.
RATING/GENRES:
The rating is appropriate and the chosen genres are definitely well-suited to this poem!
FORM/STYLE:
I have tried this form and just... Wow! What an amazing job you did with it!! You stuck well to form and all three poems make sense --and all connect to that "miracle". I'm just amazed!
EMOTION:
The poem itself definitely stirs the emotions of the reader and, being from "Joisey", this poem actually made me shiver! You captured what happened wonderfully!!!
IMAGERY:
Everything is easy to envision from your words, as well as news reports.
TECHNICAL/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, nor did any suggestions pop into my head.
OVERALL:
This poem is just splendid! I don't know how you did it, but... WOW!
RATING:
What about "WOW" don't you understand? Of course this gets a 1.0!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP LEADER
ANGEL ARMY MEMBER
HELPING HEARTS MEMBER
This is such an incredibly inspiring piece that I am actually left speechless... It is well-written and yanked at my heartstrings, but really opened my mind and heart to take in your words and, hopefully, adhere them to my everyday life. I am amazed at your remarkable spin on this and how you have opened your life and heart to allow see positives that would be invisible to so many.
I didn't see any grammatical errors or typos and just can't tell you how much I respect you and how much I appreciate these sage words of wisdom. Life doesn't come with a handbook, but this might be a good start to one!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP LEADER
ANGEL ARMY MEMBER
HELPING HEARTS MEMBER Review on behalf of "Invalid Item" !
TITLE:
The title definitely fits this poem perfectly.
DESCRIPTION:
Again, fits perfectly.
RATING/GENRES:
The rating is appropriate, if not a notch higher than needed. The chosen genres are well-suited to the poem.
FORM/STYLE:
I don't have the patience right now to search for all the particulars of English Sonnets, so I'm just gonna go with what I see. lol. The ABAB rhyme scheme and rhyming couplet worked wonderfully with your words to keep the flow smooth from beginning to end without any rhymes feeling forced or taking away from the affect of the poem. Everything moved along beautifully and was easy to follow and understand.
EMOTION:
This poem gave me a incredibly feeling of peace and love. It is calm and definitely stirred my emotions while I read!
IMAGERY:
The imagery is vivid and beautiful. I could see the seasons changing before my eyes.
TECHNICAL/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, but I do think that the addition of punctuation would really help to make the flow even smoother. I know that it's optional, but I think that a little more guidance to the reader's voice would really just make this poem perfect.
OVERALL:
I absolutely love how you managed to bring your reader from one season to the next in such a seamless fashion! Wonderful!
RATING:
I'm givin' it a 4.5 just because I think that another minute or two of attention and this would easily become a 5.0.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP LEADER
ANGEL ARMY MEMBER
HELPING HEARTS MEMBER Review on behalf of "Invalid Item" !
TITLE:
The title is long, but fits perfectly.
DESCRIPTION:
I didn't read the description first, so it just gave me a whole new mode of thinking about what I just read.
RATING/GENRES:
The rating is appropriate and the chosen genres are perfectly suited to the piece.
STORYLINE/PLOT:
You really say a whole lot more than the words on the screen which is wonderful! The breakdown of times, etc, really worked wonderfully to bring the reader into the sleepless night, while also making him/her reflect and remember things from their past as well as the narrator's past. I love it!
EMOTION:
This was simple to feel. Not only did I feel the frustration of sleeplessness, but also the love and longing... This was like facing an old ghost for me, memories of reading poetry late night with an ex... I don't know if that's good or bad...
IMAGERY:
Everything was simple to envision --not only because of my own past, but also because of simplicity of the scene. You laid it out before my eyes quite well, my friend!
TECHNICAL/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos. The only suggestion that came into my head is for you to use this as a launching board for a longer story. It felt complete and yet I was left wanting more...
OVERALL:
I thoroughly enjoyed this and do hope that you'll write more of this story, drag this out a bit, etc...
RATING:
I'm goin' with a 4.5 because of selfishness of wanting more of the story!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP LEADER
ANGEL ARMY MEMBER
HELPING HEARTS MEMBER
Oh my!! This is just hysterical! Not only was I laughing all the way through, but, dear God, you pegged my mother!!! From her, I learned to open everything AWAY from my face, peek, and, if all looks clear, smell. It's a habit now that I just can't break. I can't even tell you some of the things that I've found in her fridge over the years!
Okay, back to the review... This is well-written and had me laughing right from the get-go! It's so very...real! I could see it all --even the things I didn't particularly care to!
Two things, however, did stand out in my brain: In the first paragraph, the G granny should be capitalized since it is unaccompanied by a possessive noun. Near the end, creme cheese caught my attention since I've only ever seen it as cream cheese. Could a Joisey thing, but I thought I'd mention it.
What more can I say? This is well-written and I thank you for sharing it with us!!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP LEADER
ANGEL ARMY MEMBER
HELPING HEARTS MEMBER
TITLE:
The title fits this poem perfectly.
DESCRIPTION:
While this description gives good background information, it might benefit from a word or two of insight into the poem.
RATING/GENRES:
The rating is appropriate and the chosen genres are definitely well-suited to this poem.
FORM/STYLE:
The ABAB rhyme scheme worked wonderfully with your words to keep the flow smooth from beginning to end without any rhymes feeling forced or taking away from the affect of the poem.
EMOTION:
This poem had me teary-eyed from the get go! I smiled, too, but my heart broke for your loss. This really tugged on my heartstrings --HARD!
IMAGERY:
The imagery is simple which kept everything easy to envision.
TECHNICAL/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, nor did any suggestions pop into my head.
OVERALL:
This is a beautiful tribute filled with smiles and sadness, as well as strength and hope. It is well-written and incredibly emotional. I love it!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP LEADER
ANGEL ARMY MEMBER
HELPING HEARTS MEMBER
TITLE:
The title fits this poem perfectly.
DESCRIPTION:
The description, while it gives a joyous tidbit, might benefit from a word or two of insight into the poem.
RATING/GENRES:
The rating is appropriate and chosen genres are well-suited to the poem.
FORM/STYLE:
The free verse form worked wonderfully with your words to keep the flow smooth from beginning to end. Everything was simply to follow and understand.
EMOTION:
All throughout this poem, it is not only easy to understand your feelings, but my own were stirred as well. I also felt like this was left a bit open for interpretation which really made this poem easy to relate to and thus furthering the emotions felt. Great job!
IMAGERY:
The imagery is nonspecific and reader-driven; making memories flash before the reader's mind's eye as he/she reads.
TECHNICAL/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos. The only suggestion that I could conjure up is to add punctuation. I know that it's optional in poetry, but I think that it would smooth out the flow even more by guiding the reader's voice as he/she reads.
OVERALL:
All in all, I found this poem touching and easy to relate to. It is well-written and emotional. Beautiful!
RATING:
I'm going with a 4.5 only because I think that another minute or two spent with this poem would really make it perfect!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP LEADER
ANGEL ARMY MEMBER
HELPING HEARTS MEMBER
TITLE:
The title fits this li'l story perfectly, though it is a bit long.
DESCRIPTION:
Straight to point. Great!
RATING/GENRES:
The rating is a bit higher than needed, but I think we all "rate up". The chosen genres fit this perfectly.
STORYLINE/PLOT:
The simplicity of the storyline really just sucked me right in! I love how you took such an ordinary situation and breathed some life into it! I'm sure that MANY people can relate to this!!!
CHARACTERS:
The characters are very well-developed and real. They're so... normal that it's simple to accept them as anyone, making it even easier to fall into the story!
EMOTION:
I think we can all feel for poor Mary! Whose mother isn't nosy? It's easy to understand her feelings and I could definitely relate!
IMAGERY:
Again, with the simple, everyday aspect; it worked beautifully to make this scene easy to see! It really came to life before my eyes!
DIALOGUE:
The dialogue is well-suited to the characters and situation --and definitely added the right spice to the story!
TECHNICAL/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, nor did any suggestions pop into my head.
OVERALL:
This is well-written and easy to follow as well as see! I love how you explained each available option and then BAM! She goes for the gusto... I just had to laugh! Great job!!
RATING:
I'm rating this a 4.5 because, while I really enjoyed it, it just seemed to be missing something. I'm not quite sure what... perhaps just a tad more build-up? Or a glimpse at the mother's reaction?
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP LEADER
ANGEL ARMY MEMBER
HELPING HEARTS MEMBER
TITLE:
The title fits this poem perfectly.
DESCRIPTION:
Short, sweet, and to the point!
RATING/GENRES:
The rating is appropriate and the chosen genres fits this poem perfectly.
FORM/STYLE:
The free verse form worked wonderfully with your words to keep the flow smooth from beginning to end. I love that each stanza kind of stands on its own to represent a different aspect while adding to the whole!
EMOTION:
This poem is not only easy to understand and feel, but also to relate to. I think that many of us feel the same exact way --I know that I do! This is a beautiful introduction to the beautiful angel we know as Pat!
IMAGERY:
The imagery throughout this poem is reader-driven, making a million memories and things that the reader has read flash through his/her mind --I love that, it really makes this poem even easier to relate to!
TECHNICAL/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, nor did any suggestions pop into my head.
OVERALL:
This poem is very well-written and simple to understand as well as feel! I love it!
RATING:
5.0, my dear. How can I give this anything less??
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Review on behalf of "Invalid Item" !
TITLE:
This title fits perfectly and is quite effective for laying the first stepping stone of emotion.
DESCRIPTION:
Again, fits perfectly.
RATING/GENRES:
The rating appropriate, but I think the chosen genre (Other) could be better... Perhaps Military?
FORM/STYLE:
The flow was smooth from beginning to end. The partial-rhymes and full rhymes added to increase the flow while reading.
EMOTION:
Show me an American that does not tear up while reading this and I'll show you a cold-hearted traitor! This poem is just chock full of emotion that really yanked at my heartstrings as I read. Too many... yeah. You know.
IMAGERY:
A million images flashed before my mind's eye. The biggest one: my brother, who is thankfully alive and well. The lines containing locations, etc, really brought this poem to life, honoring ALL forces and branches.
TECHNICAL/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos. The only suggestion that came to mind is that there's an extra line skipped between Stanzas 3 and 4. I'm not sure if you meant for it to be there or not...
OVERALL:
This is a chilling, all-too-real, well-written poem that is emotionally charged and haunting. It is truly a wonderful tribute as well as a display of talent.
RATING:
How many tears did you cry while writing this? I know how many slid down my cheeks while reading. For something so stirring as this, there are not enough stars in the sky, let alone on the rating system!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Review on behalf of "Invalid Item" !
TITLE:
Title fits perfectly.
DESCRIPTION:
Again, perfect --and I LOVE that this description gives a bit of a 'teaser'! It drew me right in without saying too much about the poem!
RATING/GENRES:
Rating is appropriate, chosen genre (Other) could be better, though. Maybe Nature? Or Experience?
FORM/STYLE:
The free verse form really worked beautifully with your words to keep the flow smooth from beginning to end. I LOVE that each stanza gives a somewhat obscure (for lack of a better word) direction, then gives a kind of direct order (again, no better word in my head. lol).
EMOTION:
This poem is incredibly inviting, enchanting, and relaxing! With each line, I found myself more relaxed and more open to the beauty that surrounds us all. Amazing!
IMAGERY:
The imagery is vivid; you took me right into the forest and showed me all that our beautiful planet has to offer.
TECHNICAL/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos. The only suggestion that came to mind is in Stanza 3, Line 1: many fingered could be hyphenated to better link the words together as one thought/description, but that could also be a personal preference thing.
OVERALL:
Another astounding poem that left me reflecting, but, this time, I actually just closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. The fresh flowers just a few feet away from me overtook my senses and I just let it all in. The experience of this poem with the fresh scent of a lily just gave a beautiful meditative feeling. I didn't know I could be so relaxed!!!
RATING:
If not for the feeling, then for the talent, I give this a 5.0! This poem is not read, it is experienced; and that is a rare gem that I wish I could find more often!
TITLE:
This title definitely fits this poem perfectly.
DESCRIPTION:
Again, fits perfect.
RATING/GENRES:
The rating is appropriate, however, I do think that the chosen genre (other) could be replaced. Perhaps Emotional?
FORM/STYLE:
The free verse form worked wonderfully with your words to keep the flow smooth from beginning to end. Everything came through clearly and was simple to understand and feel!
EMOTION:
This poem is definitely emotionally-charged and leaves the reader thinking and reflecting. I also feel that this can be related to so many different situations. Perhaps the friend is not physically missing, but changed or taken to the darker aspects of life (drugs, etc...). The ease of relating this to different situations, really makes this a poem that just about anyone could relate to, thus furthering the emotions that the reader feels while reading --and after.
IMAGERY:
The imagery is reader-driven, making memories and faces flash before the reader's mind's eye as he/she reads.
TECHNICAL/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, nor did any suggestions pop into my mind.
OVERALL:
This poem is short, to the point, and packs one heck of a punch! It is well-written and left me just sitting here and reflecting. Wonderful!
RATING:
Well, after all that raving, I guess there's only one thing to do... 1 !
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Review on behalf of "Invalid Item" !
BASICS:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genre all fit this poem perfectly.
TECHNICALS:
You stuck wonderfully to the chosen form and everything was simple to follow and feel! The imagery is vivid and reader driven, making a million memories flash before the reader's eye, which made this poem easy to relate to! This stirred my emotions in ways that I REALLY did not expect! The flow was smooth from beginning to end. Beautifully done!!
SPECIFICS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, however, one suggestion did pop into my head:
In "Line N" I think that italicizing the No might improve the clarity here since this is being quoted as being said.
FURTHER THOUGHTS:
I think that just about all of us can relate to this, which really makes this just an amazing, emotional read which leaves the reader thinking and reflecting.
, Stephanie Grace
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sapphirefaery/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.36 seconds at 9:03am on Apr 25, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
If you would like ANY further suggestions or help with punctuation, please, just e-mail me and I'll be glad to help! 
,
It got FAR too hot FAR too early this year! (I think this was the first year in my sister's 42 years of life that it was so hot on April 26, that she went to the shore for her birthday! --EWW!!!)
I think that, as a prose piece, this would be perfect! As a poem, though... I say 4.5. 
Among friends[,]
This phrase is repeated without feeling repetitive, however, there is an inconsistency with the comma following the phrase...
I feel like hyphenation on either side of and would help to link these words together as the singular action that they are usually noted for; Also, because give-and-take usually describes ONE action or aspect of a relationship or friendship, the word "strengthen" felt a bit awkward --perhaps strengthens...?
