*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sapphirefaery/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/9
Review Requests: OFF
1,984 Public Reviews Given
2,114 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 5 6 7 8 -9- 10 11 12 13 14 ... Next
201
201
Review of 'The Incident'  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


BASIC ELEMENTS:
This story is creative and just plain creepy! Even with only the use of dialogue, the reader is able to follow and understand everything. I was dragged right into this! The build-up is wonderful. I really had no idea where this was going right up until the end --wonderful!

GRAMMAR/SUGGESTIONS:
*Bullet*...figured my [dad's] screwed up...
         *Right*No need to possessive here, dad. (I realized later, when I saw this again, that you might mean 'dad has', but the way Ms. Marsh speaks, it doesn't quite fit for her to use a sudden half-correct wording... Just something to think about, I guess. LOL)

*Bullet*...dinner,[/] and well...
         *Right*Just a little spacing issue here... I don't think that you meant for a new line to start here. *Wink*

OVERALL THOUGHTS:
You did a great job with this, Ms. Kiya! Sometimes with dialogue-only stories, it's hard to envision everything and things like tones and actions are lost while reading, but that was definitely not the case here! I'd love to see you write the full story around it --and where it goes next! *Wink*

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

*Reading*Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!*Reading*
202
202
Review of A Ghostly Poem  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Review on behalf of Helping Hearts


BASIC ELEMENTS:
The rhyming couplets worked wonderfully with your words to keep the flow smooth from beginning to end without any rhymes feeling forced. Everything was simple to follow and understand. This had a nice, lighthearted feeling to it, though some of the content was, as intended, a bit scary. *Worry* I love that, as I read, I really wasn't sure where this was going to go. (If I'd have read the description, that might have killed it for me --maybe think about that. LOL). The way that you took such a creepy storyline and made it heartwarming and understanding --amazing!

GRAMMAR/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors, however, I did feel a bit tripped up by Couplet Four. In this couplet, the first line changes the tense of the poem from past to sort of present/future... The whole couplet, though, felt like it was being spoken to "calm" the narrator rather than the narrator explaining the transformation that took place... It could just be me, but it might be somethin' to look at and play around with. *Wink* Also, I wonder about italicizing 'home sweet home' in the final couplet just to really emphasize the transition that has taken place...?

OVERALL THOUGHTS:
I thoroughly enjoyed this poem --and it's wonderful storyline!! I'd love to see you write the story surrounding this poem! *Pthb* As much as I loved it, though, I think that a few more minutes of attention from you could make this poem even better... *Kiss* You've got a nice little creative poem with a different take on a usually creepy, dark topic... *Thumbsup*

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

*Reading*Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!*Reading*
203
203
Review of Mon Mari  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Review of behalf of Helpings Hearts from Meeple for completing a Monopoly!


BASIC ELEMENTS:
This poem flowed smoothly from beginning to end and was simple to follow, understand, and, most of all, feel. You relayed the feelings of a healing love beautifully. I think that we can all relate to your words... The imagery was creative and vivid. The main effect of your words, though, was that they brought back memories.

GRAMMAR/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice grammatical errors or typos, nor did any suggestions pop into my head.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:
This poem is beautiful and well-written and definitely got my senses, and mind's eye, working!

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

*Reading*Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!*Reading*
204
204
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


BASIC ELEMENTS:
You stuck wonderfully to the chosen (given?) form, not a syllable out of a place or a rhyme the felt forced! *Delight* The flow was smooth with a nice, upbeat rhythm that kept everything moving along nicely and me smiling all the way through! The imagery is vivid and splendid... I could see it all happening! (Should I admit that I may or may not have pictured my husband as the troll? LOL)

GRAMMAR/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, nor did any suggestions pop into my head.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:
This is adorable and very well-written! A wonderful tribute to a cute story that so many of us loved as children! I just loved it... What else can I really say?

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

*Reading*Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!*Reading*
205
205
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


BASIC ELEMENTS:
As far as I can tell, you stuck wonderfully to the form. *Wink* The flow was smooth from beginning to end without any rhymes feeling forced. The emotion was clear and your words definitely had my mind's eye going with imagery of memories, etc... Beautiful!

GRAMMAR/SUGGESTIONS:
Just a few little things popped into my head as I read:
*Bullet*The extra line skipped between each line made this poem feel a bit stretched out. I think that deleting the extra skips would help this poem feel tighter, as well as making it more appealing to the eye.

*Bullet*In Line 2: you only can
         *Right*This felt a bit awkward and gave me a little pause... perhaps play with the words? I think that "only you can" was more what you meant, but I am not sure... just my interpretation. *Blush*

*Bullet*In Line 12: Please [ ]accept
         *Right*Extra space here.

*Bullet*In the ending couplet the rhyming of apart/part stuck out to me since it is almost like rhyming a word with itself. It didn't really hinder the flow or meaning of the couplet, but just something that I noticed...

OVERALL THOUGHTS:
This is a beautiful testament of your faith and love. It is well-written and incredibly touching. I really enjoyed it and thank you for sharing it.

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

*Reading*Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!*Reading*
206
206
Review of The Ocean  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Review on behalf of Helping Hearts


BASIC ELEMENTS:
The free verse form worked very well with your words to keep the flow smooth from beginning to end. The added images helped to set the scene, but the vivid descriptions found within the poem are what really brought me in and made the shore come to life for me! You captured the ocean beautifully and left me reflecting at the end... How true it is!

GRAMMAR/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, nor did any suggestions pop into my head.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:
Ya know, it's funny... I hate the beach and yet find it so incredibly inspirational. This poem brought me back to the Jersey shore and left me wanting to back. *Shock* You did a splendid job with this poem. Thank you for sharing this with us --it was just like taking a mini vacation as I read! *Wink*

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

*Reading*Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!*Reading*
207
207
Review of Withering  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Review on behalf of Helping Hearts.


BASIC ELEMENTS:
Pleiades? I think so... You did a wonderful job with the form. The flow was smooth from beginning to end and the words came together beautifully to leave me chilled and reflecting! *Thumbsup* The vivid imagery brought me right to the edge of Winter... I love it!

GRAMMAR/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, nor did any suggestions pop into my head.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:
Another beautiful poem from an incredibly talented mind! This sucked me right in and I just love it! What more can I really say??

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

*Reading*Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!*Reading*
208
208
Review of Eternal Darkness  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Review on behalf of Helping Hearts.


BASIC ELEMENTS:
The free verse form worked wonderfully with your words to keep the flow smooth from beginning to end. The imagery was vivid and my heart race as I read this! This poem is just chilling --creative, creepy and absolutely splendid! You have a great talent for bringing your reader in... I could see it all and could easily understand the narrator's feelings, as well as feeling for them. Wonderful!

GRAMMAR/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, nor did any suggestions pop into my head.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:
What more can I really say? I'm glad I'm reading this now and not tonight!! I'm pretty sure I'd have nightmares if I read this after dark!

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

*Reading*Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!*Reading*
209
209
Review of Soldiers  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with Helping Hearts members page.  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Review on behalf of Helping Hearts.


BASIC ELEMENTS:
You stuck wonderfully to the chosen form and the flow was smooth from beginning to end. This had a chilling feeling. The harsh reality behind your words really yanked on my heartstrings. The imagery, of course, is vivid as scenes from television, movies, and life flash through the reader's mind's eye.

GRAMMAR/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, nor did any suggestions pop into my head. There is, however, an invalid link at the end that you might want to remove. *Wink*

OVERALL THOUGHTS:
I can see why this has an awardicon attached to it! This speaks volumes and really left me reflecting and saddened... I don't know what else I can say.

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

*Reading*Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!*Reading*
210
210
Review of Alas, my lass!  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with Need Help With An Upgrade???  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


BASIC ELEMENTS:
You stuck wonderfully to the form and the flow was smooth without any rhymes feeling forced. The feeling was upbeat and lighthearted --though I did feel kind of bad for laughing at the poor narrator's loss! *Blush*

GRAMMAR/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos. The only suggestion that I could come up with would be to add punctuation. The flow was smooth, but I really think that adding punctuation would make it even smoother by guiding the reader's voice. (Personal preference, I know...)

OVERALL THOUGHTS:
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem!!! It's fun and well-written! *Thumbsup*

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

*Reading*Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!*Reading*
211
211
Review of Heavenly Light  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with Need Help With An Upgrade???  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


BASIC ELEMENTS:
You stuck wonderfully to the form and image prompt! The flow was smooth from beginning to end and no rhymes felt forced. *Thumbsup* The imagery is vivid and the words so very true!

GRAMMAR/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors, however, I did see one little typo: in Line 11, breathe should be breath.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:
This poem is well-written and a wonderful display of talent! You brought me right in to it! I'd love to thank you for that, but it was too sunny today... *Laugh*

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

*Reading*Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!*Reading*
212
212
Review of A Day in My Life  
Review by Stephanie Grace
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


BASIC ELEMENTS:
This poem had me chuckling all the way through --and gasping at that certain point. *Wink* The ABCB rhyme scheme worked very well to the keep the flow smooth and upbeat, though I did feel a few little hiccups in the flow during my first read... couldn't find them in the second or third though. *Confused* The storyline is simple, yet absolutely hysterical!!!

GRAMMAR/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, though I do think that a read-through or two could help make the flow a bit smoother...

OVERALL THOUGHTS:
All I can say is THANK YOU for the laugh!! I needed that! *Kiss*

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

*Reading*Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!*Reading*
213
213
Review of Scrap Metal  
Review by Stephanie Grace
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


BASIC ELEMENTS:
This story is easy to follow and see. I'm not a big fan of sci-fi, but I found myself getting quite into this one! *Delight*You did a great of bringing your reader into the story to see and hear it all. The characters, while only really glimpsed, are well developed and act appropriately for the situation at hand! *Thumbsup*

GRAMMAR/SUGGESTIONS:
*Bullet*radar type thing
         *Right*This caught my attention because this story is written in third person. Usually with a third person POV, the narrator is omnipotent; the phrase type thing, however, gives the impression that the narrator/writer does not know what it was either, making it difficult to picture and/or interpret...

*Bullet*disrupter
         *Right*disruptor...?

*Bullet*The double-line skipped between paragraphs made this feel a bit stretched out. I think that perhaps just skipping one line would give this story a tighter appearance.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:
I really enjoyed this story (which came as a big surprise to me after reading the description. LOL). *Blush* The end gave me quite a laugh too! *Delight* I think that with just a few more minutes of attention to this piece, you could easily turn it into something absolutely wonderful!! --Maybe even longer.. Did the neighbors experience the same thing...?

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

*Reading*Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!*Reading*
214
214
Review by Stephanie Grace
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


D.R., D.R., a mighty Har! Har!; This poem is this close to par!! Just few things, a few little pings, went off in my my head as I read...

The scene is superb, each noun and each verb, flow smooth from beginning to end!
The rhymes are unforced, admiration endorsed, but I a few little tips I do send...

Tense changes:
Van Dyke [rose] next, yet seems
...rises?
[asked] 'Speare quite curiously.
asks?


Okay, okay... enough of that! One more rhyme, and I'll run into your bat! *Laugh* All in all, this poem is still just wonderful!! I absolutely LOVE it... !! The only other thing that came to mind is the addition of a few exclamation points. Several of the lines really read with more excitement than the period allows... *Wink*

I LOVE IT!!!! Fix those itty-bitty things and I'll be back with another half of a star! *Laugh* (Yeah, yeah, I'm so stingy!) *Pthb*

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace
215
215
Review of Freedom  
Review by Stephanie Grace
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


TITLE ETC:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this poem perfectly.

CONTENT:
You stuck wonderfully to the chosen(?) form --and I thank you profusely for adding the explanation! The flow was smooth from beginning to end without any rhymes feeling forced.

AFFECT:
This had a relaxed feeling to it that really dragged me right in! The words are strong, yet not overpowering. *Thumbsup*

EFFECT:
The added image, of course, adds to that relaxed feeling, but the real imagery comes from the memories and thoughts that your words stir in the reader's mind.

GRAMMAR:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, nor did any suggestions pop into my head.

ET CETERA:
I thoroughly enjoyed this poem and it's meaning!! *Delight* I love it!! The form's simplicity added a wonderful touch to this poem that kept everything direct and clear!

RATING:
5.0... Can't think of a reason to go any lower! *Laugh*

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace
*Star*CHECK OUT my friend and Adopt-A-Newbie Rogue♥Sherri ! Thank you!


*Reading*Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!*Reading*
216
216
Review by Stephanie Grace
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


TITLE ETC:
The title, description, and rating,
there can truly be no debating,
work well with the genres you have chosen,
though my eyes do remain quite frozen
on the item title you have typed
--and at which my mind has really griped...
Maybe the twitch is only neural,
but Bards should be possessive-plural!

*Laugh* I just had a blast writing that! LOL.... Okay, in the item, you have it Bard's in the Item Title, you have Bards... My opinion? I think Bards'. *Wink*

CONTENT:
How creative! I love how you expressed the different voices and styles of each "Bard"! I did, however, get a bit caught up in the begging (Stanza 3, to be precise) when the rhyme scheme changed... *Blush* It really threw me off there, especially since the whole scene was not fully laid out... By the end, though, this was completely forgotten! *Laugh* (That's why I do three read-throughs per review! LOL). This is just so incredibly imaginative, though, that I was awed!!

AFFECT:
This was SO much fun to read!! I was smiling and laughing all the way through! By the end, I was doin' my own dance --one more along the lines of "Worst Way Wee," though, since I just couldn't walk away!!

EFFECT:
This is a great display of your talent for bringing your reader into the scene! And I was truly honored to be amongst such bards! *Wink*

GRAMMAR:
A few little things popped up as I read...
*Bullet*[before] he spoke
         *Right*I think that changing this to 'fore might work better here as it would fit better with the surrounding language...?

*Bullet*i have[ ]no
         *Right*Missing space.
         *Right*Also, in this same section (e.e.), you say "no commas" but have several... *Wink*

*Bullet*"[l]et's pop a
         *Right*Let's

*Bullet*the headmaster bard
         *Right*Should Headmaster Bard be capitalized?? I'm not sure, but, since the thought came to me, I figured I should mention it.

*Bullet*Tenses
         *Right*The only other thing that obstructed my full-blown enjoyment was that, in several instances, the tense changes from past to present... I think a quick reading will help you find these places. *Heart*

ET CETERA:
I really can't tell you how much I love the idea of this and the way in which you've written it!! It's truly wonderful and I truly appreciate the smiles and laughs that it gave me!!!

RATING:
Honestly, dear, I love it, but I think it needs a little more time spent with it to really blossom into the 5.0 that it could be. You have it in you, Mr. Smith, so give it a go and a few more drops of sweat and blood (and ink, perhaps. lol) and I'll back to give it the 5.0 it wants. As is, though, I'm sorry, but I'm going with a 4.0. *Kiss* I REALLY love it, as I've said, lol, but the technical-aspects could be improved. OHhh!!! Before I send this, I also wanted to suggest that maybe the stanzas that set the scene or that are different from the actually "Convention" side of the poem could be italicized to show the difference??? Just something to think about. *Wink*

Okay, okay.... I'm sending this!!!

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace
*Star*CHECK OUT my friend and Adopt-A-Newbie Rogue♥Sherri ! Thank you!


*Reading*Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!*Reading*
217
217
Review by Stephanie Grace
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Review on behalf of "Invalid Item"  from Meeple for completing Monopoly!!


TITLE ETC:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this poem perfectly!

CONTENT:
The ABCB rhyme scheme worked wonderfully with your words to keep the flow smooth from beginning to end without any rhymes feeling forced. The pace was upbeat and rhythmical; everything was simple to follow and understand!

AFFECT:
The upbeat pace and fun material gave this poem a magnificent, lighthearted feeling that had me smiling and laughing right from the third line! (I'd say the first, but those first two lines had a bit of lonesome, haunting feeling that left me really unsure of where exactly this was going to go.). By the end, I was laughing out loud and smirking! (Hmm... maybe that lovely little smirk emoticon would add an extra touch to that last line! LOL).

EFFECT:
This was incredibly easy to envision as I read! (Oddly enough, my turtle tank is ON a buffet! LOL). The simple imagery and given descriptions made this just come to life before my eyes!

GRAMMAR:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos nor did any suggestions pop into my head.

ET CETERA:
What more can I say? I absolutely loved this! This is very well-written and you set the scene perfectly! I wasn't quite expecting a poem entitled "The Empty Fish Tank" to be so fun --I was expecting a little loneliness and sadness, like I was walking through a ghost town, but you just flipped that right around! How creative!!!

RATING:
How could I give this poem anything less than a 5.0 after raving about it for 1500 characters?? *Laugh* I LOVE it! (Is it true? And, did you get your space yet? LOL)

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace
*Star*CHECK OUT my friend and Adopt-A-Newbie Rogue♥Sherri ! Thank you!


*Reading*Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!*Reading*
218
218
Review by Stephanie Grace
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


THE PREPARATION:
The title, rating, and chosen genres all fit this story perfectly. The description, however, might benefit from a word or two more of insight into the story. *Wink*

THE START:
Good grief, girl! I wasn't sure where this going, but I was sucked right in! You did a magnificent job with character development; they seem real and were simple to relate to. I could understand perfectly their feelings and found them in my heart right away! They are very believable and their dialogue is very well-suite to them as well as their situations. Everything flowed well and was simple to follow and understand.

THE LONG HAUL:
*Bullet*Comma before and after a name being spoken to.
         *Right*Come on[,] baby
         *Note*Noticed once more in the quoted lyrics. *Wink*

THE HOME STRETCH:
I really fell right into this and related on, possibly, too many levels! I think you just did an amazing job with the content! I was able to feel and see it all... I don't think that I took one breath in the "ER" scenes... I kept praying for an outcome that would be different from where I would've gone, but... I just had chills and tears at every corner and was really overwhelmed with the ending! I think the most amazing part of this story, honestly, is the foreshadowing that is undetectable until the end! When I was reading the ending, I noticed it all and realized how much there's a metaphor for life within that foreshadowing: how much we take those small things for granted, how much an action made on a whim can truly mean... You brought me into every single scene and made me want to cry, smile, cry, laugh, cry, eat, and smack you for making me feel and do all those things! *Smirk* I knew going into this how talented you are, but you really just blew me away with this one!!!

THE BIG PICTURE:
You should know me enough, by now, to know that I always try to be as helpful and honest as possible, but, I just couldn't find anything to "pick apart" or point out about this piece. I don't see room or need for improvement. You made me FEEL as I read --and, more than that, I felt (on each read) that I was experiencing this story, not feeling it... What more could anyone want?? I bet my left arm that you win this contest --If you don't, I say we boycott because you deserve it, my dear!! I'm just awed... Even on my third (fourth?) read! To me, it's perfect!

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace
219
219
Review of The Scream  
Review by Stephanie Grace
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Review on behalf of "Simply Positive Review Forum " !


TITLE ETC:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this poem perfectly, however, scream in the title should be capitalized. *Wink*

CONTENT:
This had was simple to follow and understand. The flow was smooth from beginning to end, but this poem also felt a little broken-up due to the lines skipped between each line of text.

AFFECT:
This was very creepy and gave me chills as I read! Wonderful job!

EFFECT:
I could see it all! The imagery is very vivid! This is a great display of your talent for bringing your reader into your writing!

GRAMMAR:
Just a few little things popped into my head as I read:
*Bullet*Line 6: dances
         *Right*This should be dance since it refers to the shadows in the preceding line.

*Bullet*Line 14: tip-toeing[,] I move
         *Right*Since there are two actions being made in this line, I think that a comma between them would improve the flow here...

ET CETERA:
I enjoyed this dark, creepy read! You really did a great job with this poem!

RATING:
I'm giving this poem a 4.0 only because I feel like it could be a bit tighter. I think you could easily turn this into a 5.0 with just a few more minutes with it! *Wink*

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace
*Star*CHECK OUT my friend and Adopt-A-Newbie Rogue♥Sherri ! Thank you!
220
220
Review by Stephanie Grace
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Review from your friend wakko71!
Review 2 of 3


TITLE ETC:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this piece perfectly. *Thumbsup*

CONTENT:
This is very well-written and I hope that each relative who read this was able to understand the care and love with which it was written. This letter definitely says a lot more than just the words that I read on the screen --and that is priceless! *Kiss*

AFFECT:
Honestly, I firmed myself up when I saw the title and description and STILL tears gathered in my eyes as I read! *Pthb* Not only would this be easy for so many to relate to, but the emotion and thought that you put into each word just shines through the words on the screen... I could FEEL every single syllable.

EFFECT:
For those lucky enough to have known your mother, I know that this would have filled their mind's eye with images and memories of her, but, for me, it made me remember several people and my memories with them --another priceless aspect to any written piece!

GRAMMAR:
*Bullet*When using a pronoun or noun in place of a name without the presence of a possessive noun, it should be capitalized.*Wink*
         *Right*for [mom] Mom.

*Bullet*Typo: [rising] a toddler
         *Right*raising

*Bullet*Missing Word?: lay [ ] bed
         *Right*in

*Bullet*Comma before and after a name being spoken to.
         *Right*Thank you[,] [M]om[,]

ET CETERA:
This is just beautiful, Saint Lee, and I hope that you found it to be therapeutic as you wrote it because, just reading it was incredibly therapeutic for me. You made me face memories, feelings, thoughts, that I just never wanted to think about.... THANK YOU!!!

RATING:
You put tears in my eyes and your words yanked on my heartstrings... For that, I have no choice but to give this a 1.0 --No, there just aren't enough stars for not only such a display of talent, but for something to packed with emotion!

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace
*Star*CHECK OUT my friend and Adopt-A-Newbie Rogue♥Sherri ! Thank you!
221
221
Review by Stephanie Grace
Rated: E | (3.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Review 1 of 3 from your friend wakko71!


TITLE ETC:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this piece perfectly.

CONTENT:
I really liked that each line was a complete statement in itself. The breakdown into different portions/stanza/sections really worked very well with your words to drive home different points and allow the reader to sit and reflect between intervals which, to me, gave me an added chance to relate to your words. The flow, however did seem a bit awkward to me. With prose, it's always hard to tell how it should or is meant to be read, but, the first time I read this, I found myself stumbling a few times. I think a quick read-through might help to identify the little "bumps". *Wink* I think that some may have been caused by a feeling "jumping around" as I read --maybe try to find a way to better link each section together and/or rearrange them??

AFFECT:
I feel the passion behind your words and understand your feelings, however, the first time that I read this, I did feel a kind of detachment. It wasn't until the second reading that I truly found myself relating to your words... I think, though, that it is only due to the "matter-of-fact" way in which this is written; I felt more like I was reading a serious definition/observation than an emotional piece --which very well, judging by the description, may have been your intent.

EFFECT:
The imagery throughout this piece is mainly reader-driven which is great because it brings back memories for the reader, thereby making your words easier to relate to. *Thumbsup*

GRAMMAR:
A few grammatical errors were noticed throughout the piece:
*Bullet*[a] emotionally
         *Right*Due to the word follow "a" starting with a vowel, this should be an...

*Bullet*likeness[,] folks[,]
         *Right*Since this is being said to folks, there should be a comma before and after folks.

*Bullet*Loneliness[,] I believe[,] is
         *Right*I believe is added detail here, my dear, *Wink* so a comma should surround it since it is not critical to the statement and could be removed without any "sense" being lost.

*Bullet*...rescue you from[.]
         *Right*All other lines are complete thoughts, however, this one is fragmented since there is no mention of what the subject is being rescued from... While it is is implied, the inconsistency caught my attention. *Wink*

ET CETERA:
I enjoyed reading this piece, but I really think that it could be better. I think that an edit would truly make this item just blossom into a work of art. You've the idea and the thoughts, I think that's it's really just a matter thinking about the words and the grammar... *Wink*

RATING:
I'm giving this a 3.5 because I really feel like a bit more work would make this better... It just wants a few more minutes of attention to blossom into what it could be --and you have it in you, so I don't want to hear about offense over rating! *Laugh* I'm being honest and would really love to come back, read it again, and give this piece the rating that it could have with just a bit more work... *Kiss* I think that you could really make this stronger quite easily!

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace
*Star*CHECK OUT my friend and Adopt-A-Newbie Rogue♥Sherri ! Thank you!
222
222
Review by Stephanie Grace
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Review on behalf of "Invalid Item" !


TITLE ETC:
The title, description, and rating all fit this poem perfectly. The chosen genre (Other), however, could be replaced. Perhaps Writing?

CONTENT:
This just took me away. You captured beautifully a moment in time that we should all be so lucky to experience! (I experienced it while reading this one, lol). The free verse form really worked wonderfully with your words to keep the flow smooth from beginning to end.

AFFECT:
This poem had a very enchanting, relaxed feeling that just blew me away!

EFFECT:
Plenty of memories came rushing back as I read this which I just love!

GRAMMAR:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, however, I do wonder about placing commas after and and tomato in Line Eleven... It could just be me, but I seemed to take a natural pause in those places each time I read through this poem.

ET CETERA:
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this and couldn't help but smile! I LOVE it!!!

RATING:
Gee... I wonder... LOL. *Wink*

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace
*Star*CHECK OUT my friend and Adopt-A-Newbie Rogue♥Sherri ! Thank you!
223
223
Review by Stephanie Grace
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Review on behalf of "JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM CLOSED 4NOW" !
Review 2 of 2 of your Friendship Package from Simply Positive!

With the Message: "For Being A Simply Positive Winning Reviewer!!"


TITLE ETC:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this poem perfectly! *Thumbsup*

CONTENT:
The ABCB rhyme scheme worked very well with your words to keep everything moving along without any rhymes feeling forced. Everything was simple to follow, understand, and, most of all, feel!

AFFECT:
This poem yanked on my heartstrings and put tears in my eyes! The build up is magnificent and happy before the slow descent which allowed me to relive memories and smile before... Wonderful!!! This is definitely a poem of feeling and that comes through resoundingly clear!

EFFECT:
While your descriptions led my mind's eye one way, I love that this is also left open for the reader's past and memories to fill their head and make this a poem that is simple to relate to!

GRAMMAR:
I did not notice any typos, however, I do suggest adding punctuation. The flow was smooth, however, I really think that giving the reader's voice more guidance would greatly improve the flow and the whole of this poem.

ET CETERA:
All in all, I really enjoyed reading this and found it simple to relate to and FEEL... GREAT job!

RATING:
I really want to give this poem a 5.0, but I just feel like the flow is not as smooth as it could be, so I'm giving a 4.5... *Wink* If you would like ANY further suggestions or help with punctuation, please, just e-mail me and I'll be glad to help! *Kiss*

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace
*Star*CHECK OUT my friend and Adopt-A-Newbie Rogue♥Sherri ! Thank you!
224
224
Review by Stephanie Grace
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Review on behalf of "Invalid Item" !

TITLE:
This title definitely fits this poem perfectly.

DESCRIPTION:
Makes the reader want to know the answer and fits the poem perfectly. *Thumbsup*

RATING/GENRES:
The rating is well-suited to the content, however, the chosen genre (Other) could be replaced. Perhaps Emotional or Experience...?

FORM/STYLE:
The ABA rhyme scheme and short lines worked wonderfully to keep the flow smooth from beginning to end without any rhymes feeling forced. Everything was simple to follow and understand.

EMOTION:
It was simple to understand the emotions of the poet, as well as having my own feelings stirred. Great!

IMAGERY:
The imagery throughout this poem is reader-driven, making memories flash before the reader's mind's eye as he/she read which makes this simple to relate to.

TECHNICAL/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice grammatical errors or typos. The only suggestion that I could come up with is to spend a few more seconds with this poem. It felt like something was missing, but I honestly don't know what... *Blush*

OVERALL:
I enjoyed reading this poem and love how much you managed to convey with so few words!

RATING:
I'm goin' with a 4.5 only because I feel like this poem could somehow be improved... *Blush*


*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace
225
225
Review of April Summer  
Review by Stephanie Grace
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Ugh! I can relate all too well to this poem! *Cry* It got FAR too hot FAR too early this year! (I think this was the first year in my sister's 42 years of life that it was so hot on April 26, that she went to the shore for her birthday! --EWW!!!)

As far as the technical aspects of this poem, the flow was smooth and everything was simple to follow and understand. It did, however, feel more like prose than poetry to me... *Blush*

I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, nor did any suggestions pop into my head.

All in all, I wish I could say I enjoyed this poem, but it made me want to scream! *Blush* --Another hot, yucky day in New Joisey, so this just hit too close to home! *Wink* Okay, mission accomplished with making your reader feel and understand what you experienced --as well as inviting him/her to experience it through your words! That's an awesome thing... I just don't feel like "poetry" is the right category... *Blush* It felt too blunt and narrated for poetry in my meaningless opinion. *Laugh* I think that, as a prose piece, this would be perfect! As a poem, though... I say 4.5. *Kiss*

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace
535 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 22 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sapphirefaery/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/9