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151
151
Review of Death Persists  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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*Heart*Review from Helping Hearts!*Heart*


You did a wonderful job with the prompt! I can easily see why this poem took third place in the contest. The fact that we can all relate to this poem in some way or another is great, it really made it come to life for me. The added image is a nice touch, adding to the ease with which I fell into this poem.

I did, however, feel that this poem could be a little better. While everything was simple to follow and understand, I felt a few hiccups in the flow that caused me to reread several lines the first time I read this poem. I believe that much of this may be caused by the lack of punctuation throughout the poem. While it is, of course, a matter of preference in poetry, I think that it would really add impact to your words by guiding the reader's voice a little better. Since there are a few punctuation marks throughout the poem, consistency also factor's into this since it gives the implication that the voice will be led when it is not led throughout.

Another thing that hung me up is the rhyme scheme. In the first and third stanzas, the rhyme scheme is a simple aabb, but in the second stanza, the addition of internal rhymes was put into play, which was wonderful (I greatly enjoyed that!), but the ending rhyme scheme was hindered in the process. The aaba rhyme scheme came as a bit of a shock to me, thereby seeming to interrupt the flow and leaving me unsure how to handle the third stanza until I noticed the conversion back to the original rhyme scheme.

I really think that you nailed it with the emotion and imagery --especially as the reader relates your words to his/her own life. If it weren't for me having been programmed to look at the technical aspects of poetry, I'd really think that this poem just a hair from perfection (since the flow while reading was felt before analyzing the why's. LOL). I think that my favorite thing about this poem would be the ease with which you seemed to have capture that dark, haunting tone that will linger with me throughout the night.

All in all, I think this is a wonderful poem and really captures the essence that I believe you intended, I just think that looking at the flow could really help it to blossom into perfection --very easily! (If you do decide to toy with this poem in anyway, PLEASE, let me know so I can come back and read and review it again! Thank you!). *Thumbsup*

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace
152
152
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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This poem is well-written and very touching. I love that it is about a different kind of love, not the blah, romantic stuff that might've made me want to hurl tonight. *Blush* The dual-generation collaboration was icing on the cake. I thought of my niece as I read this and it really yanked on my heartstrings as I faced that "Mommy #2"'s little baby is 13 [and a day] now. LOL.

Back to the poem...

The abcb rhyme scheme worked wonderfully with your words without the rhymes feeling forced. I felt like they were a bit simplistic at first, and was shocked not to see you stretch them more, but, after reading the description, it made a lot more sense, since I know that Nicky is young, if I'm not mistaken. *Blush*

This is well-rounded, explaining a divine love that is a true blessing and I found it incredibly touching to see that love recognized and appreciated.

I don't know what else I can say. This poem really spoke volumes and just made my heart three sizes bigger. Beautiful, Sherri! --Be sure to let Nicky know that too!!!

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace
153
153
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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*Kiss*Thank you for buying a kiss!*Kiss*


This poem has a wonderful message (several, actually) that really hit me hard. I subscribe to the theory of believing in what is said and believing all that you say yourself, in staying true to your heart and your words. Sadly, as we have all experienced at some point or another, this is not the thinking of very many in this world. While growing up, a lot of promises made to me were broken. It made me stronger, I guess, but it also caused me to stop believing in people and their promises. Okay, enough about me... back to the poem. *Laugh*

This poem really had that wonderful feeling of a hug from a good friend. It gives sound advice to the reader as well as making him/her sit back and reflect. *Thumbsup* The ease with which this poem can be related to really adds to the impact of your words. Great job!!!

The abcb rhyme scheme worked very well with your words to keep the flow smooth from beginning to without any rhymes feeling forced.

There were, however, two little things that I thought could be improved:
*Bullet*In line 3, yesterdays should be possessive.
*Bullet*In the final line, I wonder if a colon instead of a semi-colon might be a better choice?

All in all, I really loved this poem from start to well after finish. It is a beautiful testament of your faith and great insight into the beautiful soul behind the words. I love it! I really don't know what else I can say!

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace
154
154
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Thank you buying a kiss! *Kiss*


This poem has a very reflective feeling that really captivated me; it demanded my attention and held it; it stirred up memories and made me sit back, with a calm air about me, and just breathe and think. Moments such as those that I had after reading this poem the first time are rare treasures. Thank you!

On the cold-hearted, critical second read, I found that the flow could be a little smoother. I recognize a steady 12-syllable count in all but one line (Line 10 was short one by my count). I also know that there is a steady meter, though I can't identify it for sure since I'm only beginning to actually try and study that aspect of poetry (and it still makes my head spin. GRR...). The measurements, however, seemed to detract from the meaning of the words, in a way... Holding so steady to the form, in my humble opinion, really took away something here. For example, in the second and third lines, the lines feel almost complete and to have the proceeding lines begin with those little devil words, "to" and "of", made it feel like I missed an action somewhere. I didn't feel very prepared for the lines that followed, I guess. {e;blush}

The only other thing that caught my attention was the word that in Line 11. My mind kept replacing that with those during each read.

All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem and absolutely loved the calm feeling that came over me while reading. I needed that. You did a wonderful job of bringing your reader into the poem and allowing him/her to experience it. Amazing!

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace
155
155
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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I went to read through Daizy May 's port and found her take on Vegemite; I felt compelled to read this item first. First thing's first, right? Well, I read this and then read hers and, well, I have my measly comments for yours, but not much. LOL.

I am a very VERY VERY picky eater, so I tend to stay away from all items that are food-related as I usually get a little gag reaction from even thinking about many foods. LOL. This, however, I greatly enjoyed!! I'll admit that I've never tried Vegemite, but this [and Men at Work, of course] have made it tempting. Having done a touch of research after reading this, I was greatly surprised to find an image of a Vegemite jar that was branded with the Kraft seal! Kraft seems to be everywhere in the U.S.; I can't believe that they wouldn't try to push Vegemite here. It sounds like it may look a bit like Castor oil, but I'd still give it a go --except that I read the salt content was reduced from 10% to 8%.... How salty is it?? I don't do salt. LOL. Never liked it...

Okay, okay.... onto the real review of the piece...

The flow was smooth throughout and I love the bouncy feeling of this poem! The mono-rhymed quatrains really gave this poem something special as it added a nice, light-hearted feeling to the words! *Delight* Stanza Nine had its bit of tension as far as rhyme-flow, but it didn't really take away anything, just caught my attention as a bit more stressed than all others since the rhyme became more abab than aaaa. *Wink*

I think that you did a wonderful job of explaining the spread, as well as how to use it, however, I would really have loved to read more about the taste. You mention that Americans don't seem to like it and it could be due to misuse, but I would like to know what it tastes like without eating it. *Wink* I am now imaging a salty beer taste (I hate the idea of live yeast, so anytime I see yeast, I just think beer. LOL). I would really LOVE a follow-up poem that tells us Americans what to expect on taste. *Pthb*)

All in all, I really enjoyed the poem. It has a great flow, an upbeat pace, and a wonderful, lighthearted feel that made me smile. What more could one want? *Delight* I love it!!!

The actual effect of your poem: I am now going to call my friend whose sister (and an old friend of mine) lives in Australia and ask how much it would be to ship me some Vegemite.... Maybe even some Vita Weet "biscuits". *Thumbsup* Vegemite manufacturers should higher you for their marketing department! *Wink*

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace
156
156
Review of 9-1-1 Call  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Review from "Merit Badge Bonanza!" !


The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this story perfectly (Though "Other" could be replaced, I think... Maybe Environment?). Everything is simple to follow and understand. The pace was rushed which really worked wonderfully with to bring the reader into the scene. I could easily envision and hear it all... I'm pretty sure I was holding my breath for half of this short story (My pulse definitely quickened!).

Grammatically, I only saw one little typo:
*Bullet*In Paragraph Six: a second[']s time
         *Right*I think that this should be possessive since it is saying that the "time" belongs to the second. *Wink*

All in all, I really enjoyed this story! I wish that there would've been a little more to it --especially as the ending comes as a shock since it's implied throughout and seems to cut off a beginning conversation. Maybe add a bit more of the next call and then start a new one before ending the piece? I really love this as is, but it just seemed to end so abruptly that I wanted more. *Blush*

I think you really did a great job of bringing your reader into the scene and making them appreciate what you do! *Thumbsup*

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

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157
157
Review of Israel  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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This list really made me sit back and think... I am a Cohen, I was not raised 'Jew', but it was always assumed with the name (I was adopted)... A blue-eyed, blonde-haired Cohen... and, for sometime, I wanted to be a Jew. The religion spoke to me and I craved it, but I never explored it enough, and returned to the chaotic religious splendors of my mom and the agnosticism of my dad (though he will say he is atheist, I believe it is because of his father, and not his real beliefs).

This list is well-written and very thought-provoking... and incredibly reflective! I kept seeing, in my mind, the commercials for Tel Aviv and Israel that play daily on the television, always making me want to visit, and this list really explored my pro's and con's... It made me look at the land from so any different perspective that I am just utterly stunned... amazing!!!

The one that REALLY made me laugh out loud: Tahina; there's a jar in my fridge and I laughed so hard I cried watching my mom try some. *Smirk*

All in all, you did a tremendous job with this list and I am so sorry that my review is not more about your writing... it's just so well done! I found one typo: star humbly I think that star is meant to be stare... Other than that... it's just perfect and I thank you for this glimpse and introduction into a world I would otherwise have never been able to see from so many and succh real perspectives... Thank you!

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
158
158
Review of A MANLY THING?  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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ON THE SURFACE:
Oh, my friend, what is with you and your apparent fixation on poem about... well, you know. *Laugh* The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this poem perfectly. The AABB rhyme scheme worked wonderfully with your words to keep the flow smooth from beginning to end without any rhymes feeling forced. The pace was quick and upbeat --a perfect match for the amusing story told!

ANKLE-DEEP:
The emotion was definitely spot-on... I was gettin' a bit defensive, thinking of similar spats that Hubby and I have had. *Blush* (Nothing to this extreme, though). I really laughed my through this, though, picturing myself and my husband as the couple! Just... Wow! LOL. Hysterical! The imagery, too, was really nailed throughout this. I could see it all! *Laugh*

KNEE-DEEP:
This only things as far as grammar/typos/suggestions that I noticed were a period at the end of Stanza 2 that obstructed the flow and left the thought feeling incomplete since it's carried into Stanza 3 --and-- there's a tense change that made my brow crinkle while I read. It seems to be happening in the present, but the couple seems to be in the past...?

HEAD UNDER WATER!
I love it! It's not often that I literally laugh out loud while reading (especially not outside!), but this had me rolling... Okay, I'm off to piddle now... Maybe I laughed too hard!

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

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159
159
Review of Hyperbole  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Title & Description:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this poem perfectly.

Flow & Format:
This poem had a very smooth flow and amazing, bouncy pace that kept everything upbeat! *Delight* The rhyming couplets worked wonderfully with your words to make each message clear without any rhymes feeling forced.

Emotion & Imagery:
The emotion is just happiness... I just smiling, nodding, and laughing all the way through! The imagery, well... Ha! It's spot-on and quite amusing! *Laugh*

Typos & Suggestions:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, nor did any suggestions pop into my head.

Overall:
I LOVE LOVE LOVE this poem! It's so very true, very real, and just amazingly entertaining! I don't know what more I can say... I'm still feeling all giddy and giggly. *Blush* Bravo!

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace


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160
160
Review of Force of Nature  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Review from the WDC Ange Army

ON THE SURFACE:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this poem perfectly. The flow was smooth; everything was simple to follow and understand. This poem had a fast pace to it as I read that I really enjoyed, it definitely suits the contents. *Wink* The message of this poem came through clearly and is one that I hope all readers will pay attention to!

ANKLE-DEEP:
This poem was very easy to feel as images and memories flow to the forefront of the reader's mind. For too many, this poem is simple to relate to.

KNEE-DEEP:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos. The only suggestion that came into my head isn't a suggestion at all, but just an opinion. *Blush* I felt that, somehow, the ending could be stronger. Yes, it has an impact, but I just feel that it could have a much greater impact and REALLY hit the reader hard.

HEAD UNDER WATER!
This poem is well-written and very true to life. It is reflective and incredibly real. A wonderful read! Thank you for sharing it with us!

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

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161
161
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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There truly are not enough stars for this poem.... Such emotion, such love... This really had e crying.... It's beautiful!

From a cold, clinical, technical standpoint, the punctuation could be looked at to improve the flow a little bit, but, I refuse to let that stand in the way of the five stars that this deserves (and that really is not enough). The ABCB rhyme scheme worked beautifully with your words without any rhymes feeling forced.

This is just a beautiful, heartfelt poem and I really don't know what else I can say (Other than my beanpole nephew has the same jacket...).

Thank you for sharing this, ShiShad,and God bless! *Kiss*

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace
162
162
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Review from Helping Hearts


TITLE ETC:
The title, description, and rating all fit this poem perfectly, as does the chosen genre, however, I think that others may work as well --and bring in more readers! Maybe 'Experience' or 'Satire'?

CONTENT:
The AABB rhyme scheme worked wonderfully with your words without any rhymes feeling forced. Everything was simple to follow and understand and I was rolling my eyes and laughing the whole way through! (Not rolling my eyes at you, of course, but at personal memories and thoughts of the amount of pills in my house... Doctors seem to just want to give meds for anything nowadays... It's a bit sick... Maybe they should develop a pill for that!). The content was very true-to-life and real. The flow was pretty smooth, though the capitalization at each line made me pause a few times since it made my brain think that a new thought was being started rather than the thought being continued from the previous line --but, that's just me, I know... *Blush*

AFFECT:
This poem definitely made me feel --not only a tad of animosity toward doctors, but also happiness and strength. I could understand the pain and frustration of the different 'ailments' mentioned, but also the lightheartedness with which they are relayed to the reader... GREAT job!

EFFECT:
Sure, I could've seen it all while reading, but my mind became focused on my parents... My mother's face and pharmacy that she calls a medicine cabinet were glowing before my mind's eye the whole time.

GRAMMAR, ETC:
Yeah, yeah, the capitalization thing... Other than that, I just felt like more could be added. Honestly, I was a bit disappointed that the rant about pills and the pills for side effects for the pills wasn't explored a bit more... I think that adding another stanza or two to make the pill count higher would really push this ovver the top and add more impact to the ending (which made me laugh anyway, LOL).

ET CETERA:
This poem is very REAL. I can't think of another --or better, word to describe it. It's really fun read, but also thought-provoking as connections are made between helpful meds and their side effects... You did a truly wonderful job with this poem! To make ME laugh out loud... Yes, amazing job, LOL.

RATING:
I'm going with a 4.5 only because of things that I already mentioned. I think that you can easily make this poem even better than five stars if you just read it through and allow your muse to cut in... I think this poem just wants a few more minutes of your attention to coax it into its full bloom. *Wink*

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
163
163
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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ON THE SURFACE:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this story perfectly. It is a great conclusion to part one, though I do think that they could be combined into one. *Wink* There were a few, minor bumps in the flow, but nothing that obstructed the story from coming through clearly. Everything was simple to follow and understand. The messages found in this portion are the story are ones that I pray EVERY reader will pay attention to and carry with them!

ANKLE-DEEP:
Not only was it easy to feel your feelings as experienced throughout the the story (there was the concern, the serenity at that picturesque beginning, the amazement, the bewilderment, etc...), but this really tugged on my heartstrings and left tears in my eyes. Perhaps because I can relate so well to the person that this portrays, this REALLY hit home for me. Wonderful job! The imagery is very vivid and amazing! Without such stories, many would never see such sights. *Delight*

KNEE-DEEP:
Just a few little nit-picks. *Blush*

*Bullet*...of the [residents]: I think that you may have meant residence here, though I can see how residents would work in this situation too... *Wink*
*Bullet*[clinacle] sounding: clinical
*Bullet*[is] now in training...: Watch for tense changes... *Wink*

HEAD UNDER WATER!
I thoroughly enjoy reading this and give you a heartfelt thank you and pat on the back for sharing this! Your appreciation and love of animals comes through so clearly that I can't imagine anyone walking away from this without "getting" your message. A quick edit would make this even better, but I absolutely adore this story. Your a hero and a beautiful soul --and this story proves it!

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

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164
164
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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ON THE SURFACE:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this story perfectly. Everything was simple to follow and understand, though I did feel a few little hiccups in the flow as I read. This is a wonderful glimpse into your life as well as your heart! Having been in many similar situations with both my cat and one of my dogs, I related to this all too well! You did a wonderful job of relaying the story. The tension was well done, though the description did soften the impact of it by telling the reader beforehand what's happening while you were still trying to figure it out... *Wink*

ANKLE-DEEP:
This was simple to envision and feel! I found myself holding my breath a few times while reading... *Blush* VERY well done!!!

KNEE-DEEP:
There were a few little things caught me up in the grammar/typo department (hence the hiccups, lol):
*Bullet*Having the dialogue together without lines skipped between the different speakers made these spots feel a little cramped.
*Bullet*daughter [is] Since this is written in past-tense the word is threw me off... Perhaps was?
*Bullet*"...here again." "Scat!" Since the same person is speaking here, it felt very weird to have closing quotation marks and then opening ones back-to-back. Maybe add a dialogue tag between them or use an ellipsis to relay the pause and difference...?

HEAD UNDER WATER!
I really enjoyed reading this story and can't wait to read part two! It's nice to get a glimpse of humanity in a such a wonderful light! You're a true gem! I think that a quick edit could make this better as far as the technical side, but with the emotion, imagery, humanity, and truth in this piece, how could anyone not love it?

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

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165
165
Review of Hotly Scored  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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ON THE SURFACE:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this poem perfectly. You definitely managed to say a whole lot in such a short space! The flow was smooth and everything was simple to follow and understand, as well as interpret and relate to. While the meaning behind the words is simple to "get", I think that this poem could also be taken a few different ways, depending on the reader's own experiences. *Thumbsup*

ANKLE-DEEP:
Not only was easy to understand and feel the emotions of the narrator, but own feelings were stirred as I found myself relating to each line, understanding the message all too well. The imagery is creative, but also very reader-driven as memories and faces from the reader's own life float to the forefront of his/her mind. *Delight*

KNEE-DEEP:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, however, I do wonder about replacing the comma in the final line with a semi-colon as two different, but connected thoughts are present.

HEAD UNDER WATER!
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem and found it to be very emotional. You relayed perfectly the feelings. I did feel, though, like something was missing... like there was more that could be said. It could just be me and I'm really not sure what, since I felt the finality of the end.... I dunno... Maybe I'm crazy (like that would surprise you, LOL). I did really love it and loved how it left me reflecting --that's a treasure to find!

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

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166
166
Review of Family Secret  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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TITLE, ETC:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this story perfectly.

STORYLINE/PLOT:
This has an incredibly creative storyline that really blew me away!! Everything was simple to follow and understand. The buildup was just superb; I never knew where this was going to go, but I just couldn't look away from the screen!!

CHARACTERS:
The characters are well-developed and easily come to life for the reader as he/she envisions their own family members. *Thumbsup*

EMOTION:
There was a great tension as I read, an excitement that kept building up until the end --and beyond! I could feel for poor Khir as well, tears coming to my eyes as I read... *Thumbsup*

IMAGERY:
Everything came to life before my eyes. You did a tremendous job of laying out the scene and giving enough description for the reader to easily envision everything while reading

DIALOGUE:
The dialogue is well-suited to the characters and situations and worked very well with the narrative to enhance the story.

TECHNICAL/SUGGESTIONS:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, nor did any suggestions pop into my head.

OVERALL:
I absolutely LOVED reading this story! It is brimming with creativity and talent!! I was, however, left wondering what will happen next... Has there been any thought in your head as far as expanding this story? If you do, I would LOVE to read it!!!!

RATING:
I can't find one reason why this story should receive anything less than five stars!!

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

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167
167
Review of Dead Tissue  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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ON THE SURFACE:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this poem perfectly. The free verse form worked very well with your words to keep the flow smooth from beginning to end. Everything was simple to follow and understand. I love the buildup and how it is misleading, making the reader worry about the narrator's health. *Thumbsup*

ANKLE-DEEP:
The emotions were all clear; not only could I easily feel for the narrator, but my own emotions were stirred. This really tugged on my heartstrings as I read! There is a sense of comfort and hope at the end that I loved; a sudden rush of strength. Great job!

KNEE-DEEP:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos. The only suggestion that I have is to add punctuation at the end of the final line to give the poem a sense of finality. *Wink*

HEAD UNDER WATER!
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem! It is creative and very well-written. I loved the metaphoric look at the situation... very easy to interpret and relate to. I loved it!

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

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168
168
Review of Remembrance  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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TITLE ETC:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this story perfectly.

CONTENT:
Everything was simple to follow and understand. The flow was smooth, though I did get a bit jumbled near the beginning... With the presence of the word "today," it brought me to the present, but then everything is kept past tense which messed me up a little... Especially in the third paragraph with the phrase, "had gone by"; I felt that it should be "has gone by" since you are speaking from today. I think that the flow could be a little smoother by just taking a quick look at the tense. It didn't really take too much away from the story, but just something that caught me up. The plot, though, is wonderful!!! I would love to see more of these characters. You did a wonderful job of making them come to life!

AFFECT:
It was simple to detect the feelings of the characters while my own emotions were stirred by their situation. I felt horrified and empty, yet loved and hopeful too. Amazing!

EFFECT:
You did a tremendous job of setting the scene for the reader. The imagery is very vivid --I could SEE it all before my eyes.

GRAMMAR:
I did not notice any grammatical errors, however, I did find a little typo: In Paragraph 14: left I behind --I believe that I should come before left...? Also, in Paragraphs 11 and 12, the word Of threw me off as it did not seem to fit with the preceding question. Reading it as a whole, it would become I like to remember of death, etc... The of's threw me off. *Blush*

ET CETERA:
This story is incredibly creative and I think that you did a truly remarkable job of writing it! This is a wonderful display of talent!

RATING:
I really want to give this story a 5.0 because I thoroughly enjoyed it, however, I'm going with a 4.5 because I do think that a quick edit could make it even better... *Kiss*

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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ON THE SURFACE:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this item perfectly purrfectly. This letter is very professional and well-written. It has a smooth flow and manages to cover a lot in a short space without jumping around. *Smile* Everything is simple to follow and understand; the message is clear and very strong.

ANKLE-DEEP:
You did a wonderful job of showing your feelings without letting your emotions cloud your professionalism which is always a plus when wanting to get a point across. *Wink* Reading this letter, I actually got tears in my eyes. Where I live, there is uncountable number of stray cats that wander around, as well as a number of family pets that join in the wandering (my own included). We have problem after problem with neighbors --one that has had animal control set up traps in his yard, another that scatters moth balls around his lawn. These same two men have been seen literally swerving in their cars in an attempt to hit a cat. Eek... I'm rambling. What I'm trying to say is that I found this incredibly easy to relate to. It yanked on my heartstrings!

KNEE-DEEP:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, nor did any suggestions pop into my head.

HEAD UNDER WATER!
You did a tremendous job with this letter. I wish I would have found it sooner. All I can say is, "Amen!" The sick and twisted things that people will do are just despicable. Animals have rights too.

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
170
170
Review of crumby steps  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (2.5)
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BASIC THOUGHTS:
This was very creative and I love that so much of it can be taken metaphorically to relate to the reader's own life! It was, however, very hard to read due to the grammar. While it was easy to understand what you were saying, the grammar took a lot away from your words and made me feel a little frustrated, like you don't take writing seriously or just don't care --a quick edit before posting an item is important so that people will know you care about your writing and want them to get your message...

GRAMMAR/SUGGESTIONS:
I am listing a few little tips and rules here, but more can be found throughout your piece:

*Note*"i" should always be capitalized. The trend of keeping it lowercase usually signifies depression or lack of self-respect.
*Note*Idk - using slang or abbreviated language in a story can not only confusing, but very distracting. Not everyone may know what it stands for, so, without explanation, a reader may walk away right there.
*Note*elvis: Proper nouns, like names, should always be capitalized.
*Note*vegas: Another proper noun as it names a specific place.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:
It is obvious that you have a very creative mind. I think that, with this short story, you really have a great idea but that an edit is really essential and, to me, it could be expanded a bit more. Why not try to describe more of what is seen and felt? What happens during the walk? This can definitely be interpreted many different ways, but I was left unsure of how metaphorical it really is. All in all, you've got wonderful groundwork here; just try and spend some more time with it and allow it to blossom to its full potential! You obviously have the mind to make this a 5.0 piece, so what are you waiting for?

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

*Reading*Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!*Reading*
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171
Review of Slow Rush  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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BASIC THOUGHTS:
I think that you did a really great job with this poem... It is incredibly visual --the scene just came to life before my eyes!! The free verse form worked well with your words to keep everything simple to follow and understand. This poem had a lovely, relaxed pace and feeling that truly gave it its own complete ambiance and allowed each line to become real for the reader. The flow was smooth, however, the break up of some lines gave me pause and there, especially when the broken thought travels from one stanza to the next. It worked wonderfully to add to the relaxed pace and keep the poem flowing gently, but it caused me to have to reread certain parts to really make sure I hadn't missed anything. I think that just looking at that aspect of the poem and trying to find a way to maintain the pace without breaking up so many thoughts would greatly improve the impact and interpretation experienced by the reader.

GRAMMAR/SUGGESTIONS:
The only thing that caught my attention here is in Stanza 7, Line 2: night [slow]/ rush -- I think that slowly may be more appropriate as it is describing the word rush being used as a verb and not a noun.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem and can't thank you enough for the relaxation I found in your words! That was just what I needed this evening! The only reason I am going with a 4.5 instead of a 5.0 is because of the flow and that pesky {i]slow/slowly. If you do decide to change the formatting, I would LOVE to come back and reread this poem! You've really got something beautiful here!

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

*Reading*Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!*Reading*
172
172
Review of Verdant Visions  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Poetry review 2 of 2 from your friend, Ben Langhinrichs

ON THE SURFACE:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this poem perfectly. You stuck wonderfully to the chosen form without any syllables feeling out of place. *Delight* The different shades/ synonyms of green was a very nice, creative touch that kept the poem from feeling repetitive and added many layers to the imagery. Everything was simple to follow as well as understand.

ANKLE-DEEP:
This poem had a beautiful, peaceful feeling that relaxed me from the get-go. *Delight* The imagery is vivid and... green! This really had my mind's eye going crazy with images!

KNEE-DEEP:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, not did any suggestions pop into my head.

HEAD UNDER WATER!
This is really beautiful and incredibly image-packed! I don't even know what else I can say! This came to life before my eyes and left me feeling so incredibly relaxed that there just aren't any words...

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

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173
173
Review of Tribulation  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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ON THE SURFACE:
The title, description, rating and chosen genres all fit this poem perfectly. You stuck wonderfully to the form --a feat in itself (what a scary form! LOL)! The flow was smooth, though I did detect a few little hiccups while I read... Everything, though, was simple to follow and understand. The message behind the words comes through loud and clear.

ANKLE-DEEP:
This stirred my emotions with every line and left me reflecting. *Thumbsup* The imagery is there, but, the primary images came from memories and visions of my own life that were brought to the forefront of my mind by your words. *Delight*

KNEE-DEEP:
In Line 7, I wonder if a semi-colon would serve the flow and message better than the present comma...?

In Line 10, should well sealed be hyphenated? I don't know, lol, but my brain wanted it to be, so I thought I should mention it.

HEAD UNDER WATER!
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem. I think that a quick read-through might help, but I'm not quite sure what I should say as far as how this can be improved. I think that it mainly lies in the restrictions of the form... You handled it beautiful and creatively, but I think that, no matter what, I'd be left with the same feeling. *Confused* Then again, it could all just be me... All in all, though, I really enjoyed this poem and found its message to have a very powerful meaning. GREAT job!

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

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174
174
Review of Unconditional  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Poetry review 1 of 2 from your friend Ben Langhinrichs !

ON THE SURFACE:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this poem perfectly. The rhyming couplets worked very well with your words to keep the flow smooth from beginning to end without any rhymes feeling too forced.

ANKLE-DEEP:
You really make your husband to come alive for the reader! The imagery is spot-on and the emotion is clear. I could feel the admiration and love behind each sentence and my heart swelled. *Delight*

KNEE-DEEP:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos. The only suggestion that popped into my head is to add punctuation. I know that it's optional in poetry, but I think that it would make the clarity and flow of this poem even better by guiding the reader's voice as he/she reads.

HEAD UNDER WATER!
This is a beautiful dedication to a man that sounds so incredibly real and charming that I just may have fallen in love with him through your words! *Laugh* Honestly, you did a remarkable job with this poem! Your husband is incredibly lucky to have found such a beautiful soul for a wife! The only reason that I'm going with a 4.5 instead of a 5.0 is because I think the flow could be just a touch better (add punctuation, lol). I'd LOVE to come back and give this its proper 5.0 if you decide to touch it up! *Wink**Kiss*

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

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175
175
Review of Dear God  
Review by Stephanie Grace
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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ON THE SURFACE:
The title, description, rating, and chosen genres all fit this poem perfectly. The rhymes did not feel forced; everything flowed smoothly and was simple to follow and understand while reading. *Thumbsup*

ANKLE-DEEP:
This really tugged on my heartstrings! Not only is it simple to understand your feelings throughout this poem, but the emotions presented are ones that we have all felt, I think, which kept this poem incredibly easy to relate to! The imagery is,, of course, reader-driven, making memories a scenes from the reader's own life flash before his/her eyes [which just makes it even easier to relate to and feel!]. *Delight*

KNEE-DEEP:
I did not notice any grammatical errors or typos, nor did any suggestions pop into my head.

HEAD UNDER WATER!
Oh, Wyn! I really loved reading this... What an incredibly display of raw emotion! What more can I really say??

*Heart*,
Stephanie Grace

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