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Review 2 of 5 from your friend Jace !
BASICS: (title, description,...)
Title, description, rating, and genres all fit this perfectly! (I will admit, though, that I was surprised 'Inspirational' was not among the genres!).
DYNAMICS: (emotion, imagery,...)
This essay definitely stirs the reader's emotions! It reads with ease, the words yanking on the reader's heartstrings before smacking them in the face with reality! (A good thing! lol). The message is powerful, strong, and thought-provoking! The imagery is rather reader-driven, which makes this even easier to relate to!
TECHNICALS: (grammar, flow, format,...)
The flow was smooth, everything easy to follow as well as understand. I did, however, detect a few little 'hiccups':
Intro, Paragraph 1: For every year[,]: I just kind of noticed a natural pause here, so I thought I should mention it.
Paragraph 1: Over the years[,]: Since this added detail to the sentence, I think that separating it with a comma would improve the flow and clarity here.
...me[,] and[,] frankly[,]: The comma after 'me' is not needed since only two things are being linked together. Comma before and after frankly, however, may work to separate this word of "added detail" from the main point of the sentence.
Paragraph 4: 10[-]years[-]old: Since this is not being used as a noun, it does not need to be hyphenated. (A ten-year-old boy is ten years old.) I think. lol. (same with 4-years-old in the paragraph 5).
Throughout: The rule with numbers changes according to who you ask, but I think that, at least, the smaller numbers (4, 10) should be spelled out.
PERSONAL VIEWS: (suggestions, thoughts,...)
Bravo, my friend! This is well-written and incredibly stated! This yanked on the strings of my heart and put tears in my eyes. At the end of my first reading, I actually had to get up and go for a cigarette break just to have ten minutes of silence to reflect. That definitely does NOT happen often --actually, this may be the first time I have ever been so moved into reflection that I had to walk away; usually, the reflection time occurs at the computer.
This is wonderful! I love the powerful message contained in this essay and hope that I, and every other reader, will carry it from the day of reading this to the last day of his/her life. This is a strong, emotional, IMPORTANT life-lesson that many may take for granted.