Hallo unseen forces  ! I will be reviewing your work Complete Version
Overall Impression:
 Format – Good spacing between paragraphs and dialogue making the story more presentable to the reader.
Content: A couple on vacation in the Bahamas are 'rudely' reminded of their real world jobs, as the new bride is called to duty again. This is a story that tells of her mission, how successful she is, and just what it takes to be Mrs. Anderson.
Pluses +
 The plot is an interesting one - I usually enjoy such spy/double agent type stories and you definitely captured that kind of life Lynne lives.
 The dialogue seems to be the key to this story and even though there were errors (pointed out below) it was enough to move the plot along and to explain more scenes. It also gave the reader a good idea of each character's personality and characteristics.
 The opening paragraph was relatively okay (somewhat confusing and I point that out below) but I really enjoyed the way you finished up the story. That was a nice way to do it.
Suggestions:
Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it’s ultimately up to you to choose what works best.
 First you might want to change the title to something else and give a better summary so readers are able to have an idea of what they're about to read. Your rating has also been increased to 13+ for some of the content which might not be appropriate for 'E'
The opening paragraph - the italicized section - is a good way to let the reader know what Lynne does, but the transition into the scene with Lynne and her hubby does not flow quite well and readers might be confused as to what one has to do with the other. Try to use a phrase or a sentence that lets the reader know that another scene is about to take place. Perhaps something like: In a hotel, somewhere in the Bahamas, a couple.... and go on like that.
Dialogue Punctuation: I noticed some parts of dialogue that had incorrect punctuation. Some rules to keep in mind:
 Always place a comma after dialogue that's followed by phrases directly related to the words spoken.
>>but most of all she’s a perfectionist.” Clark Stephen said.
"...but most of all she's a perfectionist," Clark Stephen said.
>>“Ah, here we are.” he said
"Ah, here we are," he said
>>“Don’t answer it.” he said.
"Don't answer it," he said.
Always place a comma before or after the name of a person addressed.
>> “How are you this morning (,) Mrs. Anderson?”
>> “That would be great; I accept (,) Mr. Smith,”
>> “Good morning (,) Mr. Anderson."
Missing quotation marks.
>>“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I whispered. (")Can’t you get Katrina?
>>Everything you need is in the luggage as usual and you’ll be back on your honeymoon by 6:00 a.m.(")
>>(")I set the DVD player up already,” Gilbert said.
>>(")I’m at the Luxe, over on Sunset.”
>>(")Very good, do you mind if I…”
>>he continued. (")Your ticket is at the airport. You will
>>“Nice” (Missing period at the end of the word)
>>“Are you there?” I ask barely above a whisper.” (Delete quotation mark after 'whisper')
When you write some dialogue, there are phrases you write after it, which makes it seem incomplete and awkward while reading. Take for instance:
>>“Nothing,” Watching his advance.
This was written after you describe the bed scene, which is good, however, the section above almost makes no sense while reading it on its own. I'd suggest re-writing it to: "Nothing," I say, watching him advance. See how those two words 'I say' make it clearer who is actually doing the speaking or whatching who advance?
>>“Well, that’s it for me guys. I’ll see you at our next gig,” standing to return to my room.
Same as above. Re-write to: "Well, that's it for me guys. I'll see you at our next gig," I say, standing to return to my room.
>>I stroll over “what an intriguing piece.”
Re-write to: I stroll over. "What an intriguing piece," I begin/say. Remember to always give the reader some indication of who's doing the speaking especially if it's the start of a conversation.
>>“It’s a date, I’ll see you then,” shaking hand in agreement.
Re-write this to:"It's a date. I'll see you then." I shake his hand in agreement.
>>“I am wonderful, Mr. Anderson, the wedding went without a hitch and I am on my honeymoon in the beautiful Bahamas with the man I love, I could ask for nothing else right now.”
Instead of commas, place periods in 'cut' section so it doesn't read as a run-on sentence.
>> I slowly open my mouth to take a bite of the pineapple.(fruit)
The word 'pineapple' has been used so many times already. Try to mix things up a little so it doesn't sound so redundant.
>>“Oh Mike, don’t’(don't) be ridiculous.”
>>Mike, looking surprised, knowing that the call is from my employer. Frantically shaking his head for me to refuse the job and then flopping on the bed disappointment.
This was an awkwardly phrased section. I'd suggest:Mike, looking surprised and knowing it's a call from my employer, frantically shakes his head for me to refuse the job. He eventually flops on the bed in disappointment. or something along those lines.
>>Clicking off the headset, I let out a disgusted sigh, as I pack my headset(it) away.
Since we already know you're talking about the headset, there's no need reporting it.
>>and one hundred and seventy pound(s).
>>“The long(Long) Kiss Goodnight, Something’s Wrong With Mary,
Just curious, but is that a play on the movie 'There's Something About Mary?'
>>I dose(doze) off thinking about the assignment.
>>practice my Tai Kwon Doe(Do).
Actually I always thought it was written 'Tae Kwan Do' but I could be wrong.
>>I’ll be laving(leaving) in a couple of days and
>>Very good, I’ll pick you up at 9*shock*o,
What does the underlined section mean?
>>Smiling (,) I stroll to the Mercedes as he opens
>> I pick up the large blade knife in my right hand and tip(toed) through the kitchenette.
>>I gently tap his toes between me thumb and forefinger.
I'm not quite sure of what you were trying to say there.
>>I'm a bit confused as to the time line, since you make everything seem like it took place in less than a few hours and yet...according to all the times you've written, I'd say it took about a day for the mission to be completed. 
As you can see, there are a lot of edits to go through, but that does not mean it wasn't an interesting and entertaining story. You just need to make sure you take time to proof-read your work and tidy up a few extra things to prevent all I've pointed out above. If you want a reference on punctuation, you're welcome to check out: "A Guide to Punctuation"  [E]
Thanks for sharing and keep writing!
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The closing paragraph was a strong finish to the story, although the greedy side of me wished for more. But I thought it was a nice way to end it all, leaving the rest of the story for the readers to complete in their minds. Talk about a happily ever after. 
Mr. Wilcox's services are impeccable, his success rate...eh so-so, but what the heck? You can't go wrong with this advice column.
I definitely enjoyed reading about Lucy and Brock's fun adventures. This could easily be a children's piece and I can read it to my little niece, who'd laugh in glee at the doggy antics. Great rhyming scheme which made the poem flow quite well while reading. 
Your use of punctuation, especially around dialogue, made for very confusing sections to read. Although I understand that you're going for the 'random' effect to match the feelings and thought processes of the narrator, it would be even more effective if those areas were written better. For instance this area:
