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The meal You made Yourself

This poem describes uneasy feelings, intrusive thoughts, and long episodes of crying.

The story of the sensitive heart

A girl who was craving for love and friendship.Join us in the journey of....The Unkown.

Star

This is a poem of hope and transformation after hardship.

Judge Me Not / Judge Me

This poem is about not to judge a person before getting to really know them.

BY ONLINE AUTHORS

Dew Drop Inn

April poem-a-day poetry spot!

The Story

All of these lines across my face tell you the story of who I am

A Hitchhiker (Christmas Special)

On Christmas Eve, up in the mountains, a single mum gives a curious hitchhiker a lift.

Bella The Cat's Point Of View

My cat Bella and her point of view.

Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/shelleya/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10

ShelleyA~13 years at WDC

Review Requests: ON

4,636 Public Reviews Given

4,671 Total Reviews Given

Public Reviews

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226

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3700364

Review of On Seventh Day

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with Circle of Sisters

Rated: E

| (5.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello tlsea

. Good day to you.

"This is a Circle of Sisters Poetry Review"

I am reviewing your poem "On Seventh Day"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A very good write and tribute about this special boy and the life of love he shared with those around him. Heartfelt and uplifting. Skillfully crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of Conor, the beauty of his life and how it affected those around him, and an example of living life to the fullest that any reader can appreciate.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Very nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Nice use of metaphor: "fifteen years, flown hight on the winds"; nice personification of earth and sky - witnesses to his birth. Good descriptive/comparisons.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: aabbcc. A nice mix of near perfect feminine and masculine end line rhyme that is executed very well in this piece.

Tone:

Deep expression of emotion; you celebrate his life beautifully in this poem. Your love for him, your bond to him permeates this piece. You expressed the blessing he was and still is in your lives, this beautiful spirit given you by God.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors found.

I especially like the following lines: There are so many.
"Your birth was witnessed by earth and sky.
Ignoring predictions, existence was spared,
To show us the beauty of your life, impaired." - Beautiful and powerful words about how special he was from the moment he was born.

Overall:

Excellent closing lines. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.
** Image ID #1457911 Unavailable **

227

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3700362

Review of For All To See

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with Circle of Sisters

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Itchy Water~fictionandverse

. Good day to you.

"This is a Circle of Sisters Poetry Review"

I am reviewing your poem "For All To See"

Title:

A good title that is fitting to the theme of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about how to bring something written to fruition as a published piece. Heartfelt and introspective. A well crafted free verse poem which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is nice as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your eye, you paint a vivid picture of the steps of putting the finishing touches on something that is written, then reviewed and then published that any writer can appreciate.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Not applicable.

Rhyme:

Not applicable.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling; you express the accomplishment of being published due to hard work beautifully in this piece. I can relate.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion, strategically placed commas at natural pauses will give emphasis to your thoughts as well as make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.

I especially like the following lines:
"A dream at last
conquered by
ink meeting paper" - powerful words that all writers feel when a write comes to fruition, a dream to be published.

Overall:

Well penned and a good read. Write on.
** Image ID #1457911 Unavailable **

228

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14 days may be credited.

#3693543

Review of Allegiance

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Showering Acts of Joy Review"

I am reviewing your poem "Allegiance"

Title:

A good title that is fitting to the theme of your poem.

Form/Style:

A very good write and message about our Flag and our allegiance to it. Heartfelt and patriotic. Lovely presentation. Skillfully crafted quatrains, nearly perfect 8/6/8/6 form. Skillfully crafted rhyming poetry which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives; through the lens of your eyes and your elegant verse, you paint a vivid picture of what it is to be patriotic and how it inspires those who love it that any reader can visualize in their mind's eye.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Very nice rhythm. Nice use of enjambment.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Nice personification of nation: "healed a nation's heart" - a good descriptive comparison, for our country has a heart that feels pain, sorrow and joy.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: abab. Perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed with precision in this piece.

Tone:

Deep expression of emotion. You express your thoughts about the history and symbol of our Flag with power that touches the heart. Feelings of patriotism permeates this poem from the first line to the last. I can relate.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of feeling on the importance of our nation's symbol. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors found.

I especially like the following lines: there are so many..
"And even in our saddest hour,
the union ripped apart,
it symbolized a higher power
and healed a nation's heart." - powerful, emotional and sums up how important this symbol is to those who it.

Overall:

Excellent closing (in the Pledge); Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.
** Image ID #1829448 Unavailable **

229

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14 days may be credited.

#3693155

Review of Antastic

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

"This is a School Daze Poetry Contest Review"

Hello Jimminycritic

. Good day to you.

I am reviewing your poem "Antastic"

Title:

A good title that is fitting to the theme of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write and message about the life of the ant as seen through evolution. Thought provoking and clever. Well crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a good picture of the ant and their work effort that any reader can see and appreciate.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm and use of enjambment.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Nice personification of ant: they march, they work - good descriptive/comparison.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: aaab cccb dddb. A nice mix of near perfect feminine and masculine end line rhyme that is executed well in this piece.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling. You express your thoughts of the daily life seen through the worker ant; the satire of this life which can be seen through evolution that affects life no matter what kind.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling to the boom of the march. Good alliteration, nice assonance and consonance. Nice use of onomatopoeia. No spelling errors. Punctuation: just a suggestion, a strategically placed comma at natural pauses will make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.

I especially like the following lines:
From ant to ape to man following Jung
Making the ladder to pounce from a higher rung - I like these lines, they are provocative and clever.

Overall:

Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on.
** Image ID #1639790 Unavailable **

230

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14 days may be credited.

#3693119

Review of Nursery Rhyme:Ding Dong Bell

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A very good write about selling sweet buns. Heartfelt. Skillfully crafted free style rhyming poetry which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your eye, you paint a picture of selling these sweet buns that children love to eat that any reader can appreciate and see in their mind's eye.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Very nice rhythm. Nice use of enjambment.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Not applicable.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: aabbccddaa. Nice mix of perfect feminine and masculine end line rhyme that is executed with precision in this piece.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling; light and sunny disposition in selling these special buns. Makes ones mouth water.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Nice use of onomatopoeia. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors found.

I especially like the following lines:
"Cream buns, Honey buns…Please come and see
Big ones and small ones, you can have it with tea." - a delightful selection of these buns for sale; excellent descriptive of a mouth watering pastry.

Overall:

Good closing lines. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.
** Image ID #1639790 Unavailable **

231

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14 days may be credited.

#3693106

Review of My Husband Steve

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

. Good day to you.

I am reviewing your poem "My Husband Steve"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about Steve's misadventure with his keys. Heartfelt, fun and humorous. Well crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of his losing his keys that any reader can see in their mind's eye.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm and use of enjambment.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Not applicable.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is nice as is the rhyme scheme: aaaa bbbb aaaa. Perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed well very well in this piece. Nice internal rhyme in line one of stanza two (what, nut).

Tone:

Good depth of feeling; humor is good, rhythmic and melodic as you tell this funny story. Nice sing song.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; strong use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion, strategically placed comma at natural pauses will make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.

I especially like the following lines:
"Husband outside, door locked shut
Diddle Diddle Dumpling, what a nut" - I like the picture of these lines and the humor of being locked out of home.

Overall:

Well penned and a good read. Write on.
** Image ID #1639790 Unavailable **

232

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14 days may be credited.

#3693096

Review of If all the world were Peaceful

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

. Good day to you.

I am reviewing your poem "If all the world were Peaceful"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write and message about peace and the abundance it would bring. Heartfelt and thoughtful. Skillfully crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is nice as are the descriptives about fruitfulness on earth should there be no more wars that any reader can appreciate.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Nice use of metaphor: "buy milk and honey from Earth's abundant stores" - good descriptive/comparison.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: abccb. A nice mix of perfect feminine and masculine end line rhyme that is executed very well in this piece.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling; you express your thoughts about the fruitfulness of a peaceful Earth which would have the ability to feed those who inhabit it. Thought provoking.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good as is the alliteration, assonance with nice consonance. No spelling errors. Punctuation: just a suggestion to remove the comma at the end of lines one, three and four. This will make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.

I especially like the following lines:
"If all the world were peaceful,
And there were no more wars," - very good opening lines that ask a question about what peace would bring to the world that everyone should ask themselves.

Overall:

Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on.
** Image ID #1639790 Unavailable **

233

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14 days may be credited.

#3692812

Review of Every Moment

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello ~WhoMe???~

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Rockin' Review"

I am reviewing your poem "Every Moment"

for the "Gang's Monthly Review Board"

~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

~Form/Style:
A good write about this special relationship and the true love they share. Heartfelt. Skillfully crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy.

~Imagery:
Not applicable.

~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice use of enjambment.

~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
Not applicable.

~Rhyme:
Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: abcb defe ghih jeke. Every second/fourth line in each stanza is perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed with precision in this piece.

~Tone:
Lovely depth of feeling. You capture the emotions of this new love and friendship between these special people in your life.

~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Nice alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion, to change the period to a comma at the end of line two in stanza two; add a period at the end of line four in stanza three and to remove the comma at the end of line two of the fourth stanza. This will make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.

I especially like the following lines:
"I offer you my heart,
Entrust it in your care" Powerful words of love given when one can entrust their heart to another.

~Overall:
Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on.
** Image ID #1797003 Unavailable **

234

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14 days may be credited.

#3692796

Review of Make Me Blush!

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello ~WhoMe???~

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Rockin' Review"

I am reviewing your "Make Me Blush!"

for the "Gang's Monthly Review Board"

~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

~Form/Style:
A very good write about this special person and the things he does to makes you blush. Romantic, heartfelt and introspective. Very good use of the word prompt. Skillfully crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy.

~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your eye and heart, you paint a vivid picture of how this person makes you happy in satisfaction expressed as a blush because of a smile, a glance, whispering words and a soft touch that any reader can appreciate.

~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Very nice rhythm.

~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
Not applicable.

~Rhyme:
Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: abcbdefe gbhbgefe. A nice mix of feminine and masculine end line rhyme which is executed very well in this piece.

~Tone:
Lovely depth of feeling. You express your emotions about how these things make you feel beautifully in this poem. Uplifting and loving... feelings shared that show how special this relationship is.

~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good as is the repetition for emphasis of feeling. Good alliteration, consonance with nice assonance. No spelling or punctuation errors found.

I especially like the following lines:
"Words of love and affection,
we shared in a rush." These lines sum up all the feelings expressed in this poem-- the reason for the things that make you blush. Endearing.

~Overall:
Very good closing lines. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.
** Image ID #1797003 Unavailable **

235

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14 days may be credited.

#3691447

Review of Communion

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Showering Acts of Joy Review"

I am reviewing your poem "Communion"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A very good write about nature's music that is short, concise and succinct. Clever use of the prompts. A skillfully crafted Pleiades. Perfect form, six syllables per line.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your senses, you paint a vivid picture of the music of these colorful bird's, their morning feast to celebrate life each morning that any reader can appreciate and see in their mind's eye.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm and use of enjambment.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Nice use of personification - a "chorus" of cardinals, nature's "choir" - good descriptive/comparison.

Rhyme:

Not applicable.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling; you express this 'sacred' morning celebration of life in nature that consecrates each morning. Beautifully done.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good as is the alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors.

I especially like the following lines:
"Canticle of nature's
choir, musical grace." - lovely description of sacred music, a morning grace of praise. Spiritual.

Overall:

Good closing lines. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.
** Image ID #1829448 Unavailable **

236

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14 days may be credited.

#3688068

Review of Brain Teasers

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Liam

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Review"

I am reviewing your poem "Brain Teasers"

Title:

A good title that is fitting to the theme of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about puzzles or riddles that can be an enigma to some and a fulfilling game to others. Clever word play. A skillfully crafted free style metered 2nd Letter Acrostic. Perfect form.

Imagery:

Nice imagery and descriptive. You paint a nice picture of the brain and the work it has to do to solve puzzles that any reader can appreciate.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Very nice rhythm; nice use of enjambment.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Nice metaphor for one's brain - "grey matter" a nice descriptive/comparison of the thought process.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: ababb ccdeedd. A nice mix of perfect dactylic and masculine end line rhyme that is executed with precision in this piece.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling. I like the humor of the poem as you express how people feel about these jokes/games that I can relate to well. Nice use of satire.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis on the trickiness of brain teasers. Nice alliteration, good assonance and consonance. Nice use of onomatopoeia. Punctuation: just a suggestion, to change the period to a comma at the end of line three in the second stanza and to remove the period at the end of six in the second stanza. This will make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.

I especially like the following lines:
"Many hope to solve these jokes
With a concentrated view -
And yet, they seldom do." A very good description of the reaction of people in regards to these 'riddles'.

Overall:

Good closing lines. Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on.
** Image ID #1624812 Unavailable **

237

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14 days may be credited.

#3688055

Review of Poetry Sustains

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Finn O'Flaherty

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Review"

I am reviewing your poem "Poetry Sustains"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about how to write poetry and the emotion that flows from it. Heartfelt and introspective. A skillfully crafted Mirror Acrostic. Perfect form.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. The the lens of your eye and heart you paint a picture of writing poetry that instructs and paints one's feelings about what is written: i.e. heart weary, drowning in emotion, the coldness of words that any reader can appreciate.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm and use of enjambment.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Nice personification of emotions: it "drowns" - nice descriptive/comparison.

Rhyme:

Not applicable.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling; you express your thoughts about poetry with deep emotion; the coldness it can give and sometimes the difficulty of unlocking it that I can relate to very well.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis on 'words'. Nice alliteration, good assonance and consonance. No spelling errors. Punctuation: just a suggestion, to remove the comma at the end of line three in the second stanza. This will make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.

I especially like the following lines:
"Plan your words, take a leap
Only say quickly then go
End the line,
Try not to repeat." These lines caught my attention from the start. Upbeat, and I love the rhythm of the lines and the humor.

Overall:

Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on.
** Image ID #1624812 Unavailable **

238

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14 days may be credited.

#3675815

Review of Lament

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Showering Acts of Joy Review"

I am reviewing your poem "Lament"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A very good write and message about the passage of time. A dirge that is short, concise and succinct. Heartfelt, introspective and thought provoking. Clever word play. A skillfully crafted Naani. Perfect syllabic form of 20 to 25 syllables.

Imagery:

Not applicable.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Very nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Nice personification of pain, it: sings, warns and reminds. Good descriptive/comparison of pain's character.

Rhyme:

Not applicable.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling; how pain follows you wherever you go. You express the relationship between the present and past as it contrasts with time, a constant reminder that affects all people.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; strong alliteration, good assonance and nice consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors found.

I especially like the following lines:
"Pain sings its song" - a power thought that is carried through to the completion of the poem.

Overall:

Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.
** Image ID #1829448 Unavailable **

239

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14 days may be credited.

#3674891

Review of Summer

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (5.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello warriormom. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Rockin' Review"

I am reviewing your poem "Summer"

for the "Gang's Monthly Review Board"

~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

~Form/Style:
A very good write about summer fun that is short, concise and succinct. Heartfelt. A skillfully crafted free verse acrostic which I enjoy. Lovely presentation.

~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of the many faces of summer at the beach, in the sun, fun and play in the sand through to the evening, a romantic walk under the moon with soft sound of the waves that any reader can see in their mind's eye.

~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Very nice rhythm and use of enjambment.

~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
Nice metaphor for little ones: "chasing tiny footprints in the sand" - good descriptive/comparison.

~Rhyme:
Not applicable.

~Tone:
Good depth of feeling; you express how much one can enjoy summer at the beach where one can see romance blossoming among those who spend the day there that any reader can appreciate.

~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good as is the alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors.

I especially like the following lines:
"Moon reflecting on still waters
Ebbing waves soothing evening strollers" - you capture the romance in the evening at the beach; beauty and love that is magical under the moon.

~Overall:
Good closing line. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.
** Image ID #1797003 Unavailable **

240

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14 days may be credited.

#3673522

Review of Choices and Feelings

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with

Rated: E

| (4.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Wiskers

. Good day to you.

"This is a Rising Stars Poetry Review"

I am reviewing your prose "Choices and Feelings"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your prose/monologue.

Form/Style:

A good write and message about distinguishing between choices and feelings and how they affect each other. Heartfelt. Well crafted prose that is short, concise and succinct. Thought provoking.

Imagery:

Not applicable.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Not applicable.

Rhyme:

Nice internal masculine rhyme in line four: (to, do, you).

Tone:

Good depth of feeling. You make a good argument in how you define what feelings are versus what choices are in this piece that any reader can learn from and appreciate.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of the importance of choices. Good alliteration, nice assonance and consonance. Spelling: line five - should be "that's". No punctuation errors found.

I especially like the following line(s):
"Choose to love" - the right choice stated in a powerful way.

Overall:

Well penned and a good read. Write on.
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#3673512

Review of My Hope For You

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello aralls. Good day to you.

"This is a Rising Stars Poetry Review"

I am reviewing your poem "My Hope For You"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about your hope for your son that is short, concise and succinct. Heartfelt and loving. Well crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy. Nice presentation.

Imagery:

Not applicable.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Not applicable.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: abcdc efe. Perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed very well in this piece (grows, shows; place race).

Tone:

Lovely depth of feeling; a beautiful message to your son about your hopes for him and that it's his 'run' in life that makes it good.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Good alliteration, nice assonance and consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors found.

I especially like the following lines:
"dreams never fade,
imagination grows," a blessing/hope that comes from your heart, encouragement for him throughout his life... beautifully stated.

Overall:

Very good closing lines. Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on.
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#3671549

Review of Of Service; Gift To Me: Imagery Poem

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello dogpack:saving 4 premium: DWG

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Review"

I am reviewing your poem "Of Service; Gift To Me: Imagery Poem"

Title:

"Of Service; Gift to Me" A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about your love and relationship for your service dog, Bella. A heartfelt tribute. Well crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of what your pet does for you every day as companion and friend that any reader can appreciate and see in their mind's eye.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Nice use of metaphor "doorbell woofs alarm"; nice use of personification "engine purring" - good descriptive/comparisons.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: aabb. A good mix of near rhyme and perfect feminine and masculine end line rhyme that is executed well in this piece. Nice internal rhyme in line two, stanza one (this, arthritis)and line three of stanza two (pat, scat).

Tone:

Lovely depth of feeling. You express Bella's importance and friendship to you beautifully in this piece. She gives you service and love, a blessing and gift from God.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Nice use of hyperbole: deafening tinnitus", onomatopoeia "nails tic, tic, tic on the floor" and "knock, knock!" and pun "A gift from God; "A God Send". Good alliteration, assonance and consonance. Spelling: line one, stanza one: should be "deafening"; line three "doorbell" is one word. Punctuation: just a suggestion, to change the semi-colon to a comma and remove the comma after ramp in line two of the third stanza and remove the comma after helper in line three of your final stanza. This will make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.

I especially like the following lines:
"Moving gracefully, nails tic, tic, tic, on the floor
A warm soft nose bumps me: is someone at the door?" - A lovely picture of her gracefulness, service and love she has for you.

Overall:

Good closing lines. Well penned and an enjoyable read. Write on.
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#3671358

Review of Cats

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

for the "Gang's Monthly Review Board"

~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

~Form/Style:
A good write about the personality of cats that is short, concise and succinct. Clever. A skillfully crafted Cinquain. Perfect 1/2/3/4/1 word form.

~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of the character of cat's that any reader can appreciate and see in their mind's eye.

~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Very nice rhythm.

~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
Nice use of personification of cats. They're "opinionated" - so true and a good descriptive/comparison.

~Rhyme:
Not applicable.

~Tone:
Good depth of feeling. You capture the traits of cats and your love for them beautifully in this piece.

~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Good word choice. Nice use of alliteration and consonance with good assonance. No spelling or punctuation errors found.

I especially like the following lines:
"capricious, evading, protecting," - a powerful description of the feline that I can relate to very well.

~Overall:
Excellent closing line. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.
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#3658946

Review of Wilderness Traveler

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Obleo

. Good day to you.

"This is a Rising Stars Poetry Review"

I am reviewing your poem "Wilderness Traveler"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about being one with nature that is heartfelt and introspective. Skillfully crafted couplets.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your senses you paint a vivid picture of how you connect with nature through its sights, sounds and scents that any reader can appreciate.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Not applicable.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is nice. Good use of near rhyme throughout the poem.

Tone:

Lovely depth of feeling; you express your feelings about your thoughtful contemplation in this sanctum created by God where you can commune with Him.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good as is the alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion to remove the period for the end of line one which will make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.

I especially like the following lines:
"I drink from springs still unspoiled.
I stand upon yet untouched soil." - beautifully poetic expression of being energized from the pureness of the spring and rich soil as you commune in nature.

Overall:

Excellent closing lines. Well penned and a most enjoyable read.
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#3657684

Review of haiku:SPRING GRASS

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello dogpack:saving 4 premium: DWG

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Review"

I am reviewing your poem "haiku:SPRING GRASS"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about nature that nurtures in the growth of this field of grass that is short, concise and succinct. A skillfully crafted Haiku. Perfect 5/7/5 syllabic form.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of the power of nature feeding its grass through spring rains that any reader can appreciate.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Nice personification of Nature as nurturer. Good descriptive/comparison.

Rhyme:

Not applicable.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling. You express how nature's care strengthens the grass and helps it grow strong through its rain.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of the power of Nature. Good alliteration, assonance and nice consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors. Just a suggestion to limit the use of filler words like 'the' - (for example line one could be something like this - green grass in vast field. Haiku paints a picture for the reader that peaks interest and emotion.

I especially like the following line(s):
"Nature waters with warm rain" - I really like this line and the sound it promotes when it is read aloud.

Overall:

Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on.
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#3643156

Review of Sands of Time

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Legerdemain

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Showering Acts of Joy Review"

I am reviewing your poem "Sands of Time"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about the attributes of 'sand' without using it in your poem. Heartfelt, introspective observation of the contest prompt. Skillfully crafted free verse that is short, concise and succinct.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your senses (sight, touch), you paint a vivid picture of this type of soil that any reader can see in their mind's eye.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Nice personification of sand: it winks; mocks - good descriptive/comparisons.

Rhyme:

Not applicable.

Tone:

Lovely depth of feeling; you express the beauty of these tiny granules that sparkle in the sunlight and the difficulty in holding on to it because of its nature.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good as is the alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion, a strategically placed comma at natural pauses will give emphasis to your thoughts as well as make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.

I especially like the following lines:
"It slips through my dismayed fingers
No matter how tightly I cup my hands" - a powerful description of sand and how difficult it is to stem its flow.

Overall:

Good closing lines. Well penned and an enjoyable read. Write on.
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#3643145

Review of Hunting Bargains

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Harry

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Showering Acts of Joy Review"

I am reviewing your poem "Hunting Bargains"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A very good write about the art of bargain buying. A skillfully crafted free verse acrostic. Perfect form.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of the items that are bought at a estate sales, memories/treasures left behind because of the death of the owner now becomes a bargain for the buyer.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm and use of enjambment.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Not applicable.

Rhyme:

Not applicable.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling; you express very well the lost memories of the items to be sold in these sales powerfully in this piece.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; nice alliteration, good assonance and consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors found.

I especially like the following lines:
"Treasures of a lifetime
Are repeatedly handled," - very good description about the buyers seen at an estate sale.

Overall:

Good closing lines. Well penned and a good read. Write on.
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#3642781

Review of Meditation

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Prosperous Snow celebrating

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Review"

I am reviewing your poem "Meditation"

Title:

A good title that is fitting to the theme of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about letting your anxiety about your fears and gaining peace that is short, concise and succinct. Heartfelt and introspective. A skillfully crafted Than Bauk. Perfect syllabic form in its climbing rhyme.

Imagery:

Not applicable.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Not applicable.

Rhyme:

Climbing rhyme: Perfect masculine rhyme is executed very well in this piece (peace, cease, release).

Tone:

Good depth of feeling. You express the calm that comes from being released from your fears through meditation. I can relate.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; nice alliteration, good assonance and consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors found

I especially like the following lines:
"My mind at peace,
Worries cease," - you express the power of peace beautifully in these lines.

Overall:

Good closing line. Well penned and an enjoyable read. Write on.
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#3642662

Review of A Ghostly Poem

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Maryann - House Martell

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Rockin' Review"

I am reviewing your poem "A Ghostly Poem"

for the "Gang's Monthly Review Board"

~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

~Form/Style:
A good fantasy write and story poem about two children who haunt a house and become part of the family. Heartfelt with an eerie surprise. Skillfully crafted free style metered rhyming couplets which I enjoy.

~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of this 'special house', its beauty and it's permanent guests who become a part of the family's daily life that any reader can see in their mind's eye.

~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
Not applicable.

~Rhyme:
Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme. A nice mix of near perfect feminine and masculine end line that is executed very well in this piece. Nice internal rhyme in line two (too, true).

~Tone:
Good depth of feeling; you are a fine storyteller. Lovely building of suspense in this poem. The love of the mother for her children and the ghostly wee ones whom she takes as her own shines brightly in this piece.

~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of feeling that builds throughout the poem. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance. Very nice use of dialogue by the children and mother.

I especially like the following lines:
"The house sat in grandeur at the top of the hill.
Yet, an aura about it gave me a chill." - sets the tone of the story poem very well and is followed through to the end of the poem.

~Overall:
Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.
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#3642582

Review of Art

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (5.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello oh my

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Review"

I am reviewing your poem "Art"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A very good write about a sculpture. Very clever and humorous. Skillfully crafted rhyme which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your eye you paint a vivid scene that any reader can see in their mind's eye.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Consistent meter and very nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Not applicable.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: aabb. Perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed with precision in this piece.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling; you have a great sense of humor with very good word play.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling about the 'subject' of this art. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors found.

I especially like the following line(s):
"He barely moves a muscle, he has an iron will." - very good powerful description of the stance of this 'art'.

Overall:

Very good closing line. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.
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