ShelleyA~13 years at WDC's (shelleya) Reviews

ShelleyA~13 years at WDC

Review Requests: ON

4,636 Public Reviews Given

4,671 Total Reviews Given

351

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14 days may be credited.

#3491905

Review of I am Your Shadow

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Shayne. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Review"

I am reviewing your poem "I am Your Shadow"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about a mysterious lurker that is short, concise and succinct. Eerie and ghostly. A skillfully crafted acrostic.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of this shadowy figure that seems to follow you wherever you go.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Rhyme:

Nice rhyme in second and fourth lines that is perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed well in this piece. Nice internal rhyme in line four (see, me).

Tone:

Good depth of feeling. You express the darkness in this shadows that seems to enjoy being frightening.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; nice alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors. Punctuation: just a suggestion, I think you should remove the period at the end of line five and change the period to a comma after you in line six. This will make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.

Overall:

Well penned and a good read. Write on.
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352

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14 days may be credited.

#3491584

Review of All That's Needed

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Pat. Good day to you.

"This is a Simply Positive Poetry Review"

I am reviewing your poem "All That's Needed"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write and prayerful message of learning the right way to pray that is short, concise and succinct. Heartfelt. Skillfully crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is nice as are the descriptives. You paint a picture of prayer in morning light and at end of day as night falls.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: abcbdbeb. Lines two, four, six and eight are perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed with precision in this piece.

Tone:

Lovely depth of feeling. Your faith and trust in the Lord shines in this piece as you express your thankfulness to Him who blesses us each day, something I can relate to very well.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of this need to pray in line with God's will. Good alliteration, nice assonance and consonance.

I especially like the following lines:
"We’ve no rhythm or rhyme for events
in our lives unless we learn how to pray." - a powerful truth that resonates in the spirit.

Overall:

Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.

Review signature for Simply Positive members.

353

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14 days may be credited.

#3491502

Review of Freedom

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (5.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Ken. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Rockin' Review"

I am reviewing your poem "Freedom"

for the "Gang's Monthly Review Board"

~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

~Form/Style:
A very good write and presentation about a beautiful meadow in morning light that is short, concise and succinct. Magical. A skillfully crafted Tanka. Perfect 5/7/5/7/7 syllabic form.

~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your eye you paint a vivid picture of the greens of this meadow and the bird wings ever moving in flight above the grasses.

~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Very nice rhythm.

~Tone:
Lovely depth of feeling. You express a love for nature which permeates this poem; the freedom to feel the warmth and light in this place that I can relate to so well.

~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good as is the alliteration, assonance with nice consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors.

I especially like the first two lines:
"iridescent green
flashes in the morning light" these two lines captured my attention, painting a picture of enjoying nature in the early morning sun.

~Overall:
Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.
** Image ID #1713867 Unavailable **

354

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14 days may be credited.

#3491495

Review of Auld Lang Syne

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (5.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Ken. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Rockin' Review"

I am reviewing your poem "Auld Lang Syne"

for the "Gang's Monthly Review Board"

~Title:
A good title that is fitting to the subject of your poem.

~Form/Style:
A very good write about saying goodbye to the old year, then ringing in the new year of hopes and dreams, a cycle through the ages. Heartfelt and thought provoking. Elegant verse. A skillfully crafted Mirrored Acrostic. Perfect form.

~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a picture of time and memories, deposits much like sand and water, always there, always moving... past and future, like moments of a clock never ending.

~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Very nice rhythm.

~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
Nice personification of: the clock - "bids the year adieu" and visions - "enwrap us within their cocoon" - creative descriptive/comparisons.

~Tone:
Deep expression of emotion as the old comes to fruition and the new is reborn. A mix of melancholy of that which ends to hopefulness of new beginnings.

~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good as is the alliteration, assonance with nice consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors.

I especially like the following lines:
Lofty dreams, resting as wreathes of laurel,
Ascribe our desires and offer sweet amnesia; - reaching for dreams with hopes of winning the prize of our desires; beautifully poetic.

~Overall:
Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.
** Image ID #1713867 Unavailable **

355

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14 days may be credited.

#3490449

Review of Harmony

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (5.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Ken. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Rockin' Review"

I am reviewing your "Harmony"

for the "Gang's Monthly Review Board"

Title:

"Harmony" is a good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A very good write and presentation about the bond between the sun and its rays that brings forth growth of these flowers that reach out towards its warmth. A skillfully crafted Sedoka that is short, concise and succinct. Perfect 5/7/7 5/7/7 syllabic form.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a beautiful picture of the power of the 'star' that nurtures growth on earth, a picture that any reader can see in their mind's eye.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Very nice rhythm and nice use of enjambment.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Good use of personification: the sun as a nurturing mother; the earth giving birth - good descriptive/comparisons.

Tone:

Lovely depth of feeling. You express the beauty of new life that is drawn to the warmth of the sun... budding rebirth.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good. No spelling or punctuation errors. Good alliteration, nice assonance and consonance.

I especially like the opening lines: "The mother star sings; her words a nurturing song" - simply lovely.

Overall:

From the first line, your poem kept my attention. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.
** Image ID #1713867 Unavailable **

356

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14 days may be credited.

#3490385

Review of Spirit

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Review"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write and message about cleansing of your spirit. A heartfelt and introspective testimony. Well crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your eye and heart, you paint a picture of being cleansed spiritually in an aura of grace that comes from God.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: abcb defd. The second and fourth lines in stanza one and the first and fourth lines of stanza two are perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed well in this piece.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling. You express your faith and trust in God to handle the things in life that mends your spirit. I can relate.

Word Choice:

Word choice is good as is the alliteration and assonance.

Overall:

Well penned and a good read. Write on.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

** Image ID #1624812 Unavailable **

357

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14 days may be credited.

#3490379

Review of Friendship Tree

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (5.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Review"

Title:

A good title that is fitting to the theme of your poem.

Form/Style:

A very good write about friends, how they come and go as seen through a scene in nature. Heartfelt. Skillfully crafted free style metered poetry which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of friends that are like leaves that are tossed and turned in a breeze; changing day by day through the seasons.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Very nice rhythm and use of enjambment.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Good use of simile: "friends are like leaves falling from the trees..." and nice use of personification: "trees bare arms spread" - good descriptive/comparisons.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: abbb cccc. Near perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed very well in this piece.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling. You express the nature of friends and friendship as it deepens and grows, beautifully in this poem.

Word Choice:

Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance.

Overall:

Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

** Image ID #1624812 Unavailable **

358

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14 days may be credited.

#3490375

Review of Fireflies

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Review"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write and presentation about fireflies. An imaginative poem that any child will enjoy. Skillfully crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptive. Your words paint a picture of the magic of the firefly that any reader can see in their mind's eye.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Very nice rhythm and use of enjambment.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the unique rhyme scheme: abcb defe ggg aahh abcbb. A good mix of perfect feminine and masculine end line rhyme that is executed very well in this piece. Nice internal rhyme in line three of first stanza (jigging, zigging) repeated in line 3 of final stanza; line three of second stanza (light, night);

Tone:

Lovely depth of feeling; lilting and melodic. Joyful and fun gifting a spirit of the magical.

Word Choice:

Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Strong alliteration, good assonance and consonance.

Overall:

Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

** Image ID #1624812 Unavailable **

359

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14 days may be credited.

#3490371

Review of FOLLOW ME

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Review"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A very good write about the Lord's call to follow Him. A heartfelt and introspective testimony of faith. Skillfully crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your eye, you paint a picture of a cold, dreary day and the gloominess that seemed to hang over you until the sun began to shine to give warmth because of a still small voice you heard... "Follow me"

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Very nice rhythm and use of enjambment.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme. Every second fourth line in each stanza is perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed very well in this piece.

Tone:

Lovely depth of feeling as you express your love and adoration for the Lord. Powerful, comforting words; encouraging and uplifting to one's heart. I can relate very well to your testimony. A beautiful and inspirational message.

Word Choice:

Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of feeling in His words of comfort to 'Follow me'. Good alliteration, assonance and nice consonance.

Overall:

Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

** Image ID #1624812 Unavailable **

360

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14 days may be credited.

#3490271

Review of A Tiny Seed

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Title:

A good title that is fitting to the theme of your poem.

Form/Style:

A very good write about a tiny seed that grows into deep love. Heartfelt and introspective. Skillfully crafted free verse that I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. From the depths of your heart, you paint a beautiful picture of true love that started with a tiny seed, making love grow that any reader can comprehend.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Very nice rhythm.

Metaphor or Simile:

Beautiful use of metaphor of the love that grew within you: "roots dug deep, mixed with longing" and "I can't untangle your roots from mine" - very good descriptive/comparisons.

Tone:

Deep expression of emotion. You express this love that grew from such a tiny seed that blossomed into deep love beautifully in this piece. Passionate and powerful, as true love can be. You are blessed.

Word Choice:

Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of love that grows in your heart. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance. I especially like lines three, four and five; simply beautiful.

Overall:

Your words kept my attention from the first line to the last. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.

361

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14 days may be credited.

#3490260

Review of Marvelous

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A very good write about sunset that is short, concise and succinct. A skillfully crafted Archimedes Pi. Perfect form.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your eye you paint a vivid picture of sunset that any reader can see in their mind's eye.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Very nice rhythm and use of enjambment.

Metaphor or Simile:

Very nice metaphor: 'shining water reflects the escaping threads of gold' - good descriptive/comparison.

Tone:

Deep expression of emotion. You express the beauty of sunset in a powerful way. I can relate to the excitement you feel as you watch the sun go down. Excellent closing lines.

Word Choice:

Word choice is good; nice alliteration and good assonance.

Overall:

Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.

362

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#3489333

Review of The Crow

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Title:

A good title that is fitting to the theme of your poem.

Form/Style:

A very good write about the crow and its character. Skillfully crafted rhyming poetry which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of the 'black bird' in flight at night calling out with its loud voice that any reader can comprehend.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Very nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Nice personification of this bird as a clever trickster spirit, one that sends messages and speak.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: abcb dede fghg ijcj. A nice mix of perfect feminine and masculine end line rhyme that is executed with precision in this piece.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling. Ominous and mysterious. Eerie.

Word Choice:

Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of this birds traits. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance.

Overall:

Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.

363

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14 days may be credited.

#3489324

Review of The Sunlight of the Spirit

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about your faith, trust and love for God. Heartfelt, uplifting and encouraging. Skillfully crafted free verse which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your eye and the love in your heart, you paint a vivid picture of the light of the Spirit of God that touches your life.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Metaphor or Simile:

Nice use of simile: "the sunlight of the Spirit, like the splendor of morn's kaleidoscopic sky" - lovely descriptive/comparison of God's light.

Tone:

Deep expression of emotion. A beautiful testimony of your relationship with God that is powerful. Lovely words of praise and adoration to Him.

Word Choice:

Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of feeling about the character of God. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance.

Overall:

Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.

364

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14 days may be credited.

#3489317

Review of Stalker

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about the lurker craving blood. Mysterious. A skillfully crafted Reversed Etheree. Perfect syllabic form.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your eye, you paint a vivid, eerie yet mysterious picture of this 'blood sucker' who is lurking for its next meal.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Good use of personification for a mosquito - 'silent stalker out on the prowl'

Tone:

Good depth of feeling. Powerful. The suspense builds beautifully in this poem. Nice twist in the ending lines.

Word Choice:

Word choice is good as is the alliteration, nice assonance and consonance.

Overall:

Well penned and a good read. Write on.

365

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#3488333

Review of Just A Cat

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Title:

A good title that is fitting to the theme of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good story poem about a precocious cat that any child would enjoy. A skillfully crafted free style metered rhyming poem.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of the personality of this cat who knocked over a plant and "accidentally" broke a vase that any reader can see in their mind's eye.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Just a suggestion, a strategically placed comma at natural pauses will make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Very nice personification of this cat: its great regal poise and green eyes that glared up at you; eyes that say to you "don't look at me like that, after all I am just a cat!"

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: aabb ccdd eefg. The first ten lines are perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed with precision in this piece.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling. You are a fine storyteller. I like the humor of the piece, subtle yet powerful.

Word Choice:

Word choice is good as is the alliteration, assonance with nice consonance.

Overall:

An entertaining piece. This story poem keeps the attention of the reader from beginning to end. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.

366

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#3488198

Review of Briana Dawn - Acrostic

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about this special little girl in your life. Heartfelt, warm and loving. A skillfully crafted free verse acrostic.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of this angelic little girl that any reader can see in their mind's eye.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm and use of enjambment.

Metaphor or Simile:

Nice use of simile: she's "delicate as a flower" - lovely descriptive/comparison.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling. You express how she is a beautiful soul, a gift to you. Your love for her shines in this piece.

Word Choice:

Word choice is good as is the alliteration with nice assonance and consonance.

Overall:

Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.

367

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#3481907

Review of All For the Want of a Better Excuse

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Title:

A good title that is suitable for the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good satirical write about society, and what is lost to it. Well crafted free style metered rhyming poetry.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of the signs of the times in society that any reader can understand.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good with a nice rhyme scheme. A nice mix of near rhyme and masculine end line rhyme that is executed well in this piece.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling as you express the state of society and the 'lack' of exercise in life and government which has disillusioned the young for which there should be no excuse.

Word Choice:

Word choice is good as is the strong use of repetition for emphasis of feeling of the breakdown of society due to misuse of its resources. Good alliteration, nice assonance and consonance.

Overall:

Well penned and thought provoking. Thank you for participating in my contest. Write on.
** Image ID #1639790 Unavailable **

368

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#3481893

Review of Gods Small Voice

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Review"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write and message about God's voice and the truth of His word. A well crafted Triquain swirl. Good form and pleasing aesthetics.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling. Your faith, trust and adoration for the Lord shines in this piece. Also, you contrast it with a warning about the deceiver and his tricks, how to discern it from the true Word of God.

Word Choice:

Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Nice alliteration, good assonance and consonance. Just a suggestion to check your punctuation. In your title, add an apostrophe before the 's' in God (God's Small Voice). There are several places where "its" should be "it's" (line 3, 5, 10). "He" should be capitalized in line four. Also, in line nine, I would change Words to 'Word' which will smooth out the rhythm in my opinion.

Overall:

You did a very good job in writing your first Triquain Swirl. Well penned and an enjoyable read. Write on.
** Image ID #1624812 Unavailable **

369

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#3469596

Review of The Theater, The Theater

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with Poetic Exploration

Rated: E

| (5.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Title:

A good title that is fitting to the theme of your poem.

Form/Style:

A very good write about the theater, the love it. Heartfelt. A skillfully crafted Lanturne string. Perfect syllabic form. Each lanturne can stand alone as well as being part of one subject.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your eye you paint a vivid picture of the stage, performance and audience appreciation.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Very nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Nice use of personification: the 'theater' calling others to it. A good descriptive/comparison.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling. You express the excitement that a patron feels attending the theater. I can relate.

Word Choice:

Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of the opening and closing of a performance. Nice alliteration and good consonance.

Overall:

Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.
** Image ID #1728100 Unavailable **

370

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#3469562

Review of Of Poets, Prophets and Kings (Week 5)

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with Poetic Exploration

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about poets and prophets and how their words can put the fear of those in leadership. A well crafted message and skillfully crafted quadruple Tetractys. Perfect form and syllable count.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Metaphor or Simile:

Nice use of metaphor: 'poet weaves the truth' - a good descriptive comparison.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling. You express how through words of truth, hope resides and will bring change as well as fear to those in leadership who are afraid of change.

Word Choice:

Word choice is good as is the use of repetition form emphasis of these 'truth givers'. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance.

Overall:

A thought provoking piece and powerful message. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.
** Image ID #1728100 Unavailable **

371

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3468777

Review of Is There A Balance

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with Poetic Exploration

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Title:

A good title that is fitting to the theme of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write and message about sleep, time and balance in ones life. A heartfelt and introspective chestnut. A skillfully crafted Tetractys that is short, concise and succinct. Perfect form and syllable count.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling as you express how there is so little time to get things done as well as getting the rest one needs. This is something all of us experience in our lives.

Word Choice:

Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling about lack of time to get everything you need to get done. Good alliteration, nice assonance.

Overall:

Your thought about not having enough time in your day is something we all can relate to. Well penned and a good read. Write on.
** Image ID #1728100 Unavailable **

372

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3468768

Review of School's Out ... Not!

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with Poetic Exploration

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Title:

A good title that is fitting to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about your first day in first grade. Heartfelt. A skillfully crafted double Tetractys. Perfect form and syllable count.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your eye you paint a vivid picture of this nun who put a scare into you through punishment you received from her.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm and use of enjambment.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling. You express your experience at school in a powerful way, one that any reader can understand and commiserate with you if they too attended Catholic school.

Word Choice:

Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Nice use of onomatopoeia (wackk!), the sound that went with the pain. Nice alliteration, consonance and good assonance.

Overall:

You express your memories of this special time in you life very well in this piece. Well penned and a good read. Write on.
** Image ID #1728100 Unavailable **

373

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3461456

Review of The Sleeping Aid

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (5.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A very good write and story poem about Bo-Peep's lack of sleep in which counting sheep didn't help her. Clever word play. Skillfully crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of Bo-Peep trying to get some sleep as she wonders why the sandman steals away her sleep.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Very nice rhythm.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the unique rhyme scheme: abccb adeed fghhg. A good mix of feminine and masculine end line rhyme that is executed with precision in this piece. Nice use of internal rhyme in line one of stanza one (Peep, sheep); line one stanza two (creep, sleep) and line one of stanza three (eye, sigh).

Tone:

Good depth of feeling. You express the stress Bo-Peep feels because she can't get any sleep and it was her conversation with herself that finally puts her to sleep. I love the humor of this poem.

Word Choice:

Word choice is good as is the use of dialogue and use of repetition for emphasis on her lack of sleep. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance.

Overall:

Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Thank you for participating in my contest. Write on.
** Image ID #1639790 Unavailable **

374

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14 days may be credited.

#3459155

Review of The Bar (A Reverse Nonet) Week 4

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with Poetic Exploration

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write and message about striving to reach ones hopes and dreams. Heartfelt and uplifting. Clever word play. A skillfully crafted Reversed Nonet. Perfect form.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Very nice rhythm.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling. You express well the potential within us to reach the goals we strive for which can be a daring feat indeed. Encouraging and inspirational.

Word Choice:

Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Nice alliteration, good assonance and consonance.

Overall:

Well penned and an enjoyable read. Write on.
** Image ID #1728100 Unavailable **

375

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3459113

Review of Chameleon

Review by ShelleyA~13 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Review"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about being invisible. Heartfelt. Well crafted free verse that is short, concise and succinct.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of this person who fades into the scenery and is overlooked by others in a crowd.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm. Just a suggestion, if you remove the period at the end of line one, the flow and rhythm will be even better in my opinion.

Metaphor or Simile:

Nice use of simile: 'she is invisible like a chameleon' - nice descriptive/comparison.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling. You express how although no one notices her in crowds, she, nevertheless, sees them. I also sense her loneliness, that maybe she doesn't know how to connect with others. You portray her ability to be invisible well in this piece.

Word Choice:

Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis on her ability to blend in and not be seen. Good alliteration and assonance.

Overall:

Well penned and a good read. Write on.
** Image ID #1624812 Unavailable **