SIMPLY POSITIVE & JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO GROUP LEADER
ERRORS & SUGGESTIONS: No spelling, grammatical, or other mistakes were noticed.
CHARACTERS & PLOT: N/A
OVERALL OPINION: This is a wonderful tribute to the men and women who protect and serve our country. It reads more like an article than poetry, yet the main thing is that the item makes some valid points about those who deserve honor and praise for what they do for us. The last stanza sums up the entire poem. Excellent tribute!
SIMPLY POSITIVE AND JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO GROUP LEADER
Keep in mind that suggestions made are intended to help, not to criticize.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: I think "between my lips" sounds off. Changing it to "from my lips" would make it better in my humble opinion. Being as it is used in the same sentence, I would consider changing "with you and I know" to "with you and know". A space should be placed between 4 and pm and a comma follow "being realistic". A space should also be placed between 8 and pm. A comma should follow "Four hours later". I think deleting "pull" before "open the door" would make for a better read.
CHARACTERS: The characters are described well, although Ru's is more in depth.
STORY-LINE: Like the chapter read before this one, the plot is written well and good.
MY OPINION: The imagery used in describing the lodge and its settings is fabulous. It is a perfect place for Ru and Myra's rendezvous.You left me wanting to read more when the two meet.
Please remember that any suggestions made are only the opinion of this reader, whose intention is to help, not to criticize your work by any means.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: "really" can be deleted after "still can't" and still have the same effect and make for a better read in my opinion. A comma should follow "It came suddenly". A comma should also come after "message even for you". A comma should follow "Skype as usual".A period should replace the comma after "in my life" and "there" capitalized. I hope these examples have helped.
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: Myra and Ru are defined well, and the story-line is great.
MY THOUGHTS: Ru's fear of the calls Myra made were written with realism. I liked that. Realism in stories like these is essential in my opinion. The emotions of both characters are relayed just as well, another important factor. The settings are described well also. I enjoyed the story and cannot wait to read the next chapter.
** Image ID #1518004 Unavailable ** SIMPLY POSITIVE AND JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO GROUP LEADER
Hello kat. WELCOME TO WRITING.com! Please keep in mind that any suggestions made are only the opinion of this reader and intended to help, not to criticize.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: Being as it was used in the same sentence beforehand, I think deleting "had" before "left to avoid" would make for a better read and still have the same effect. Placing spaces between paragraphs would make for a better presentation in my humble opinion. "few belonging" should be "few belongings" instead. "cotton wood" should be "cottonwood". Others like these noticed throughout the short story. I hope these examples have helped.
CHARACTERS: Bill and his family are described well.
PLOT: The story-line is terrific. I enjoyed it because it was realistic and wholesome.
OVERALL OPINION: The settings are defined as well as the characters. As mentioned above, I found the story uplifting and written with realism. I liked that. The paragraphs about the hills and peanut butter were my personal favorites. I wish you the best with your entry.
Please remember that suggestions made are intended to be helpful, not criticize your work by any means.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: No errors were spotted, and I cannot think of anything I feel would improve the item.
CHARACTERS AND STORY-LINE: N/A
OVERALL OPINION: You did a sensational job of writing about the joys of the holidays. "There's no place like home for the holidays" sprang to mind while I read the poem. I could not agree more that the atmosphere written about is the greatest gift of all. I thoroughly enjoyed the uplifting poem. The best to you!
** Image ID #1518016 Unavailable ** SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP LEADER
WELCOME TO WRITING.com! Please keep in mind that any suggestions made are intended to help, not to be critical in any way.
ERRORS: A comma should follow "roll around i8n it". A period should replace the comma after "somewhe'", and "keep" capitalized. A comma should follow "have to move". "and dive on his back" should be "and he dives on his back". A comma should come after "an alligator".
SUGGESTIONS: None other than the ones mentioned above.
WHAT I ENJOYED: You did an excellent job of keeping the story fast-paced. That is not easy for a tale so short. I liked the use of the country-like language as well. It suited the characters. You are off to a super start with the story in my opinion. Good luck!
SIMPLY POSITIVE AND TRADITIONAL POETRY GROUP LEADER
Please remember that any suggestions made are intended to help, not to criticize.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: No mistakes were noticed, and there are no suggestions for improvement.
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: N/A
WHAT I THOUGHT: The rhythm is perfect, and the message just as superb. You are right about love being fabulous. I consider it the greatest gift of all. The imagery used in defining your emotions is simply fantastic. I had no personal favorites. The entire poem is well written and inspiring.
SIMPLY POSITIVE AND TRADITIONAL POETRY GROUP LEADER
Hello COUNTRYMOM-JUST REMEMBER ME. Thank you for your entry in "Invalid Item" . Keep in mind that any suggestions made are intended to help, not to criticize in any way.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: No errors were noticed, but this came as no surprise to me being as I have had the pleasure of reading your work before. There is nothing I can think of that would improve the entry. It is wonderful!
OVERALL THOUGHTS: The rhythm is excellent, and the imagery outstanding. You did a sensational job of defining the true meaning of Christmas. Counting your blessings instead of drowning in self pity made the poem uplifting. It would be great if everyone did that. The last three stanzas sum the piece up superbly.
SIMPLY POSITIVE AND TRADITIONAL POETRY GROUP LEADER
Thank you for your entry in "Invalid Item" . Please remember that any suggestions made are intended to help, not to criticize.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: No grammatical, spelling, or other errors were noticed. There are no suggestions for improving the entry.
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: N/A
WHAT I THOUGHT: The rhythm is outstanding, and the imagery just as superb. From the first to last stanza, the story-like entry is well written and a pleasure to read. What the statue represented was my personal favorite, both sadness and smiles. GREAT POEM!
SIMPLY POSITIVE AND TRADITIONAL POETRY GROUP LEADER
Thank you for your entry in "Invalid Item" . Please remember that any suggestions made are intended to help, not to criticize.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: No mistakes were noticed, and there are no suggestions to offer for improving the entry.
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: N/A
WHAT I THOUGHT: The rhythm is excellent, and so is the imagery. You have painted a poetic masterpiece about the mythological Hercules, Hera, and the others. Both poems are outstanding. I love mythology, and as I said before, this is a superb entry.
Hello CJ Reddick. Thank you for your entry in "Invalid Item" . Keep in mind that any suggestions made are intended to help, not to criticize in any way.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: The rhyming pattern is off in some of the lines. For example, "known" and "stones", "ebbed" and "web", and "restored" and "more" do not rhyme.
OVERALL THOUGHTS: The poem is well written and a good reminder of what a great man the Son of God was. The authors notes following the poem are an added asset. Great poem!
Thank you for your entry in "Invalid Item" . Please keep in mind that the suggestions made are intended to help, not to criticize in any way.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: The rhythm is off in some of the lines. For example, "amend" and "pen" and "span" and "planned" do not rhyme.
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: N/A
WHAT I THOUGHT: Overall the rhythm is good. The imagery is also super. It is easy picturing the girl and the machine. The comparison to the two is fantastic. What a great tribute to your friend!
Please keep in mind that suggestions made are meant to help, not to be critical in any way.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: No errors were noticed, and there is nothing I can think of that would improve the poem. It is sensational!
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: N/A
OVERALL OPINION: The rhythm and imagery are outstanding. It saddened me reading about you not knowing your father and conjuring up an image of him in your mind. The last stanza touched my heart as did the image before the start of the poem. I am elated you have the little hand to hold now.
Please keep in mind that any suggestions made are intended to help, not to criticize.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: No grammatical, spelling, or other mistakes were spotted. The only suggestion I have to offer is that I feel more detail should be added to Lyle's brother's demise.
CHARACTERS AND STORY-LINE: Overall, the characters are defined well. Other than wishing there was more detail about Lyle's brother's death, the plot is great.
OVERALL THOUGHTS: The story is well written. There were no slow parts, and the plot mysterious. You did an amazing job with the story-line using only several hundred words. That is not an easy task. I enjoyed reading your work, and wish you the best.
** Image ID #1518002 Unavailable ** SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP LEADER
Hello Rayquan. WELCOME TO WRITING.com! Suggestions made are only my opinion and intended to help, not to criticize.
ERRORS: No spelling or other errors were spotted.
SUGGESTIONS: "I love you" and "I hare you" are used too much in my opinion. Just a humble suggestion, but I would consider deleting some of them.
OVERALL OPINION: The rhythm is great, and the emotions expressed clearly. I liked that. You did a super job of relaying how one can feel love and hatred for an individual. Most of the time, it is my belief that we do not truly feel hatred, simply pain that convinces us at times like the ones written about in the poem that is felt within the heart and mind making us feel like we hate the one who hurt us.
SIMPLY POSITIVE AND JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO GROUP LEADER
Hello RobinRenee Welcome to Writing.com! Any suggestions made by this humble reader are only an opinion meant to help, not to criticize your work in any way.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: No grammatical, spelling, or other mistakes were noticed, and the only suggestion I have to offer is to keep writing these sensational, cheery poems.
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: N/A
MY THOUGHTS: The rhyming pattern is awesome, and so is the imagery. You did a wonderful job of painting a poetic work of art about the upcoming holiday season. You made even the tedious tasks sound like fun. The poem is well written and uplifting. VERY WELL DONE!
SIMPLY POSITIVE AND TRADITIONAL POETRY GROUP LEADER
Hello Kortney Rae. Thank you for your entry in "Invalid Item" . Keep in mind that any suggestions made are intended to help, not to criticize in any way.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: Just a humble opinion, but putting the lines into stanzas would make for a better presentation. The rhyming pattern is odd in some of the lines. For example, "bird" and "wood" do not rhyme.
OVERALL THOUGHTS: The poem begins sad, yet somewhat uplifting in the finale. You did an excellent job of using nature to describe your emotions. Well done!
SIMPLY POSITIVE AND TRADITIONAL POETRY GROUP LEADER
Thank you for your entry in "Invalid Item" . Please keep in mind that the suggestions made are intended to help, not to criticize in any way.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: No errors were noticed with the exception that I would use punctuation where needed in all of the lines being as it is used in some.
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: N./A
WHAT I THOUGHT: The rhythm is outstanding, and the imagery just as good. My heart went out to you when reading the entry. Losing a loved one leaves one with the many emotion relayed in the poem. I send my condolences, and hope you know He is always there for us during times like this.
SIMPLY POSITIVE AND TRADITIONAL POETRY GROUP LEADER
Thank you for your entry in "Invalid Item" . Please remember that any suggestions made are intended to help, not to criticize.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: No grammatical, spelling, or other mistakes were spotted, and I cannot think of anything that would improve the item.
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: N/A
WHAT I THOUGHT: The rhythm and imagery are excellent. What I liked most are the feelings expressed about faith in God despite life's trials. The final stanza says it all.
SIMPLY POSITIVE AND TRADITIONAL POETRY GROUP LEADER
Thank you for your entry in "Invalid Item" . Please remember that any suggestions made are intended to help, not to criticize.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: Only one error was spotted. "and its that" should be "and it's that". Other than that, there are no suggestions to offer for improvement.
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: N/A
WHAT I THOUGHT: The rhythm is outstanding, and the imagery just as good. My personal favorites are the lines comparing the changes we make along with those of the seasons. The last four lines are inspiring. I agree that He will be there for us through the "winter times" just as He is through the others. Wonderful poem!
DISCLAIMER: Thank you for your entry in "COLORING THE WORLD CONTEST TEMP. CLOSED " [E]. Please keep in mind that any suggestions made are intended to help, and not to criticize your work in any way.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: No grammatical, spelling, or other mistakes were noticed, and there are no suggestions to offer for improving the entry.
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: Sarah and the other characters are described perfectly, and the story-line superb.
OVERALL OPINION: After the way Martha acted, Sarah made a great payback in my opinion. You did a great job of using the prompt in the short story. It is well written and very humorous. I thoroughly enjoyed reading the entry.
Thank you for your entry in "Invalid Item" . Please keep in mind that the suggestions made are intended to help, not to criticize in any way.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: The rhyming pattern is off in the first two sentences. "storm" and "turn" do not rhyme like the other lines in the entry. "their you stand" should be "there you stand" instead. I also think making all of the stanzas the same in length would make for a better presentation, and that using a syllable count would make for a better read. Remember, this is only my humble opinion though.
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: N/A
WHAT I THOUGHT: Except for the lines mentioned above, the rhythm is super. The imagery used in the comparison of your love and the lighthouse is fantastic and uplifting. The last five stanzas are my personal favorites.
DISCLAIMER: Please keep in mind that any suggestions made are intended to help, and not to criticize your work in any way.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: No grammatical, spelling, or other errors were noticed. I cannot think of anything that would improve the item except considering a pattern.
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: N/A
OVERALL OPINION: The imagery used in describing the settings you would see if released from the dark prison is awesome. I would love to find a similar place of serenity and beauty. The poem is well written, and the title appropriate.
SUGGESTIONS: None I can think of that would improve the item.
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: N/A
OVERALL THOUGHTS: The premise and rules are relayed in a way no participant can misunderstand and easy to follow for those interested. Having participated in the activity before, I found it enjoyable. I like the way politics and religion cannot be used, for that would take away from the fun because both are serious topics. I also like the fact that entries must be no more than a 13+ rating. Most of all, I like the way it is stressed that this is an activity meant for those who want to have fun.
ERRORS AND SUGGESTIONS: No errors were spotted, and there are no suggestions to offer for improving the entry.
CHARACTERS AND PLOT: N/A
WHAT I THOUGHT: You did a sensational job of using this week's prompt. The imagery and emotions expressed are wonderful. The poem is uplifting and inspiring, and brought a smile to my lips. From the warm dark eyes to deep devotion, I think the poem is eighteen lines of pure enjoyment.
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