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3,802 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
I balance my reviews by commenting both on what worked and suggestions for improvement. I evaluate material as honestly and objectively as possible, while still being positive and supportive. I can adapt my review style to fit the kind of feedback an author is looking for (e.g., tough love, encouragement, alternative suggestions, etc.).
I'm good at...
Structure, pacing, characterization, plotting, dialogue, and considerations for the professional marketplace. I'm okay at technical editing but much better with broader creative considerations.
Favorite Genres
Action/Adventure, Mystery/Crime/Thriller, Science Fiction/Fantasy
Least Favorite Genres
Nonsense/Experimental Prose
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novels, essays and other nonfiction writing on a variety of topics.
Least Favorite Item Types
Poetry. (I'm not as familiar with poetic forms as I am with prose.)
I will not review...
Insincere writing. I typically put a lot of thought and effort into my reviews, so I try to focus my efforts on authors who are serious about improving their work. Beyond that, no genre is too weird, no content rating is too high, no form or length is too daunting. I'm open to anything.
Public Reviews
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Review by Jeff
Rated: XGC | (4.5)
Good day to you, Hatsuda !

The "Red Wedding updating is upon us and House Lannister (the best House) is honored to have the privilege of reviewing your item! Please keep in mind that these are only suggestions based on one person's reading of your work:



This was a great conclusion to a very satisfying erotic story. Here I thought I was going to quickly browse through some of your work and I ended up spending almost all day reading and reviewing it! *Laugh*

Seriously, this is really, really great erotic writing. It's emotional and compelling and satisfying, and clear that the eroticism in the story isn't just for titillation but as a way of telling a deeper story about the connection these two characters share.

I wish I had some suggestions for improvement, but after reading each of these chapters, I think this is an excellent story just the way it is. I've included minor comments here and there over the course of the last several reviews, but the bottom line is that this story works, and it was a really enjoyable read. There was clearly a lot of thought and work that went into crafting it, and it really shows!

I'm going to wrap up this whole thing with an overall review of the novella as a whole now that I've read every word, and I really appreciate that you've created such a compelling story and characters! *Smile*


Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your most excellent wordsmithy!

Fare thee well!


-- Jeff


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Review by Jeff
Rated: XGC | (4.5)
Good day to you, Hatsuda !

The "Red Wedding updating is upon us and House Lannister (the best House) is honored to have the privilege of reviewing your item! Please keep in mind that these are only suggestions based on one person's reading of your work:



I thought this was a great way to draw the their week-long deal to a close. The emotions are clearly heightened and there's a lot for each character to struggle with, and everything has been handled in with a deft hand. I did see the twist at the end where Hattie knows so much about the lifestyle because she and the Captain are participants, but I thought that detail was contrasted nicely with the detail of the gift and its significance. It was great to see two characters growing together and, despite hitting speed bumps along the way, becoming more vibrant people together than they would have on their own. They've been fascinating character arcs to watch and it's been a fun process seeing them grow together.

I also think you've done a remarkable job with the erotic content throughout the story. At no point did it seem like the story either needed more or had a gratuitous amount. This is exactly what erotica should be; judicious use of sensuality and eroticism to elicit a response to what the characters are experiencing in the story. Well done!


Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your most excellent wordsmithy!

Fare thee well!


-- Jeff


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Review by Jeff
Rated: XGC | (4.0)
Good day to you, Hatsuda !

The "Red Wedding updating is upon us and House Lannister (the best House) is honored to have the privilege of reviewing your item! Please keep in mind that these are only suggestions based on one person's reading of your work:



I have mixed feelings on this chapter. On the one hand, I like the fact that the project manager barbecue was a team-building event for everyone present, but I did feel like it took a little away from the relationship between Scott and Cathy. Perhaps if it were shorter or realized in less detail I would have felt differently, but this feels very much like Scott and Cathy's story at this point and it was a little jarring to return to the world of coworkers and colleagues. Additionally, Scott's insistence on keeping to the terms of the "deal" (i.e., parading her around in front of their coworkers) seemed like a step backward in terms of how he views their relationship, since so many of his thoughts in recent chapters have been about how much he's starting to care for Cathy, not just how much he wants to get even with her.

Additionally, although I know Scott feels like the week is coming to an end, I would have expected that - at least at some point by now - he would be wondering if Cathy were interested in continuing a relationship after their week is over. He seems so resigned to the fact that the week will be up and things will be back to normal; I think most people would be questioning whether this is leading to something more at this point, or at least how they should go about communicating that they do want more from the relationship.


Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your most excellent wordsmithy!

Fare thee well!


-- Jeff


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Review by Jeff
Rated: XGC | (4.5)
Good day to you, Hatsuda !

The "Red Wedding updating is upon us and House Lannister (the best House) is honored to have the privilege of reviewing your item! Please keep in mind that these are only suggestions based on one person's reading of your work:



I thought you did a great job bringing Scott and Cathy together (at last!) in this chapter of the novella. You built upon the previous chapters and added to them in a way that seemed realistic and honest. One of the things that's impressed me most about these chapters have been your impeccable pacing. Each one draws out the action and builds suspense, seguing into the next chapter effortlessly. The reader is left with a clear and engaging understanding of the relationship both of these characters share; a relationship which is evolving and changing in front of our eyes. I think you did a particularly great job showing not just how Cathy becomes more emotionally available, but how Scott becomes more emotionally dependent on her. It's a really intricate dynamic and one that's not easy to pull off, so I'm very, very impressed with the way you've been able to balance and pull it off so far.

Originally I just intended to review the first chapter, but you've officially hooked me and now I find myself barreling through each chapter, sending a few words after each one. Can't wait to see how it ends! *Bigsmile*


Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your most excellent wordsmithy!

Fare thee well!


-- Jeff


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Review by Jeff
Rated: XGC | (4.5)
Good day to you, Hatsuda !

The "Red Wedding updating is upon us and House Lannister (the best House) is honored to have the privilege of reviewing your item! Please keep in mind that these are only suggestions based on one person's reading of your work:



I really enjoyed this installment of the story. I think that Scotty and Cathy really had a breakthrough of sorts, and you did a good job of playing with expectation, showing us a meeting where things seemed to be going well, only to have Cathy insist that it was luck or her own doing that resulted in the success. It created a great sense of the conflict within Cathy, as did the talk about her cooking and her family life. These characters have been a treat to follow along with and they're definitely the reason I keep reading. *Smile*

The one thing I've been really impressed with so far in this novella is the way that you've been able to maintain a whole bunch of eroticism without actually having the characters have intercourse yet. While there have certainly been other activities going on, there's also clearly something you're building toward and it's not easy to sustain that over so long a period of time in all these chapters. I'm very impressed and look forward to finishing up the last few chapters!


Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your most excellent wordsmithy!

Fare thee well!


-- Jeff


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Review by Jeff
Rated: XGC | (4.0)
Good day to you, Hatsuda !

The "Red Wedding updating is upon us and House Lannister (the best House) is honored to have the privilege of reviewing your item! Please keep in mind that these are only suggestions based on one person's reading of your work:



I thought this installment of the story started a little more roughly than the other two. In the last chapter, Scotty and Cathy shared a really intimate experience that had left her upset for who-knows-what reasons, and Scotty's approach to the beginning of this chapter where he's at first uncertain as to whether he stepped over the line is great... but then he becomes drastically more brazen once Cathy shows up in his office. I thought the scene needed just a little bit more nuance and build-up to that moment; it seems like Scotty goes from timid and unsure of himself to almost overconfident in a matter of moments.

Other than that, I think you did a lot of great character work in this chapter of the story. Scotty and Cathy are both complex, interesting characters with more than just a surface-level personality. It's great to watch their relationship grow as this extended story unfolds. I think you're doing a great job contrasting the eroticism and physical attraction with the emotional needs of both characters. Nicely done!


Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your most excellent wordsmithy!

Fare thee well!


-- Jeff


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Review by Jeff
Rated: XGC | (4.5)
Good day to you, Hatsuda !

The "Red Wedding updating is upon us and House Lannister (the best House) is honored to have the privilege of reviewing your item! Please keep in mind that these are only suggestions based on one person's reading of your work:



I really enjoyed this installment of the story. I think this second chapter is a strong follow up to the promises you made in the initial one, and you definitely revealed a little more to both Scotty's and Cathy's characters. The one part of this chapter I thought didn't quite fit was his continued conversation with Hattie; it's such an intimate exchange between Scotty and Cathy that it seems strange to have him suddenly go back to the bar for advice, especially since it's a bar he hasn't visited in some time, according to the previous chapter.

I think it would have been a little stronger to have had Scotty explore how to get more involved in the D/s game on his own rather than a friend he just reunited with suddenly having the necessary information to share with him, but other than that I thought you did a good job with this chapter and definitely convinced me to keep reading on.

Really nice work on this novella so far; I'm really enjoying the story and the characters you've created.


Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your most excellent wordsmithy!

Fare thee well!


-- Jeff


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Review by Jeff
Rated: XGC | (4.0)
Good day to you, Hatsuda !

The "Red Wedding updating is upon us and House Lannister (the best House) is honored to have the privilege of reviewing your item! Please keep in mind that these are only suggestions based on one person's reading of your work:



I really like where this story is headed so far. Scott's and Cathy's characters are both well-developed and three-dimensional and the contest, while it did seem a little far-fetched at first, is totally something I can imagine these two getting into, if for no other reason than to preserve their pride.

If I did have one suggestion for improvement in this initial chapter, it would be to define their profession a little more. When it comes to short stories, I don't think it's so important to detail exactly what the characters do for a living, but since this is a longer piece and the workplace plays such an important role in it, I would have loved to see a little more detail about what it is they do. I know that management consulting is a very real job, but it can be hard to quantify and - as times - makes it seem like you're trying to generalize the details of the workplace by only generally referring to proposals and meetings and bids and marketing. If there were a way to provide some additional detail about how their business works, I think it would add another dimension of realism and authenticity to this opening chapter.


Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your most excellent wordsmithy!

Fare thee well!


-- Jeff


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Review of Checkpoints  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Good day to you, JonnyKia !

The "Red Wedding updating is upon us and House Lannister (the best House) is honored to have the privilege of reviewing your item! Please keep in mind that these are only suggestions based on one person's reading of your work:



I really enjoyed this story. I thought you did a great job with the characterization at the beginning, and the narrative was interesting and unique. If I had one suggestion for improvement, it would be to work on the relationship between Jaime and Roob. I know the intent was to create a character in Jaime who is unhappy and kind of ugly on the inside so that her fate at the end makes sense, but in her initial interactions with Roob, ignoring him, thinking he's obnoxious, etc. almost had the feeling of her character being dense or unconcerned rather than merely a not-very-nice person. I would suggest trying to change the dynamic to their relationship to highlight her bad qualities without necessarily making her seem careless or unconcerned with what's happening to her and what the rules are, because I think most people in that situation would - regardless of personal attitudes - be pretty freaked out about where they are and what's happening rather than running around ignoring a guide. *Wink*

I would also spend a little more time detailing why she's trapped there. In theory, all she has to do is convince someone else to take her place, so I think it'd be great at the very end to show the process starting all over again... someone else shows up, is excited by the prospects in the tube, and Jaime desperately tries to convince them to take her place but they go off to be reincarnated into another life. That immediate failure to get out of her situation (and the establishing of the fact that almost everyone chooses to go back) would effectively set up just how trapped she is.

Other than that, I thought it was an imaginative, entertaining story. Nice work!


Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your most excellent wordsmithy!

Fare thee well!


-- Jeff


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Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Michael Baauer -

Sorry, I didn't have a chance to review this item before the review request you sent me expired; it's been a busy week and I'm just now getting the chance to sign on and get caught up with my emails. *Blush* I'm happy to send you a review, although poetry really isn't my area of expertise, so I can't speak with much of any authority on the subject. That said, I really enjoyed the poem and thought you did a good job creating an evocative, vivid poem. I could clearly see the imagery you were creating, and I think every stanza builds on the last to give the reader a fuller picture of the themes you're trying to convey.

Really nice work! And thank you for the opportunity to review it! *Smile*


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Review by Jeff
In affiliation with Unofficial Erotica Newsletter ...  
Rated: E | (3.5)

Hi A*30s*Faith -

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following "Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.


I really liked the imagery and the flow of this poem. It read very smoothly and created a clear, vivid image in my mind as I read. The only slight issue I had was with the last line of the last stanza, which seemed a little clunky. I think it's because you had a really nice structure going up to that point where the first, second, and fourth lines of each stanza were all five or six syllables long, and then the third line was around eight syllables long, which contrasted nicely. But the third line of the last stanza is ten syllables long, which is just enough to break the rhythm set by the previous two stanzas.

That's really the only suggestion for improvement that I have, though. I'm not the world greatest expert on poetry, so all I can really go on is the imagery and emotion it evokes and how it sounds to my ear when I read it. I think the former of those two is very well done, and the latter, while it could use a little work, is still off to a great start. Well done!


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group
"The Dark Society
"The Book of Jeff


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Review of Valentine's Day  
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
*Waterdrop* Official Judges' Review *Waterdrop*


Hi Being Diane -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Paradise Cove Writing Challenge-On Hold, and have enclosed the following review on behalf of "The Talent Pond for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.


CONCEPT/PREMISE

You did a great job of addressing the prompt. I like the fact that you focused on the day after Valentine's Day, while still providing enough context for the reader to understand how disappointed Sandy was with the actual day. I thought you struck a great balance there and maintained it throughout the story. *Thumbsup*


STORYLINE

The story was interesting and compelling. I like the fact that you showed Sandy in different settings (work, home, etc.) and that each of those settings played into her doubts and concerns about Gary. I would have liked to have seen a little more narrative devoted to her causes for concern (i.e. his working late, lack of interest in sexual intimacy, etc.) to help with the character issue described below, but other than that, I think the story works.


CHARACTERIZATION

For me, there needed to be a little more prompting for Sandy's character to assume Gary is having an affair. Based on their vivacious love life (including mentions in the story of them having just made passionate love on the dining room table not a few days prior), it seemed strange that the missing of Valentine's Day would immediately convince her that Gary is having an affair rather than that he had merely forgotten to gotten busy. I think you need to set up that seed of doubt in Sandy's mind a little better so that the reader - along with Sandy - start to suspect something is up.

You could mention the working late, maybe even that he'd been supposedly working so much that he's tired and uninterested in sex when he gets home... or perhaps even her nasty coworker Jana tells her a story about how she's known lots of guys who forgot Valentine's Day because they were too busy having affairs on the side. Whatever the reason, I think there needs to be a little more to Sandy's suspicions. Otherwise, it seems a little silly that they had a wonderful, perfect relationship up until February 12th, then he forgot Valentine's Day on the 14th so she assumes he must be having an affair.


DIALOGUE

The dialogue between Sandy and her coworkers (Jana and Joanne) was effective and worked, but the interaction between Gary and Sandy felt a little forced. There was a lot of dialogue between the two of them while they were having sex, and I think - at times - it felt like the dialogue was a bit of a crutch that prevented the story from really sizzling. There was a tendency to either use dialogue to explain what was going to happen and then avoid the description, or to use the dialogue to explain what was going to happen, then simply describe the exact thing the dialogue just said. For example:

“Sandy, you look so good playing with your pussy. Take my Dick and rub the top of it while you imagine fucking me.”

Sandy took his mushroom tipped Dick and played just with the top of it feeling the ridge that she loved when it stroked her pussy.


In the above exchange, Sandy literally tells him exactly what to do, then you describe Gary doing just what she told him to do, which makes everything feel a little repetitive. I would suggest abbreviating the dialogue so that there's a little more significance to the description. For example, Gary could simply say, "Sandy, you look so good playing with yourself. Now touch me." And then go into the description about what she does to him.

When it comes to dialogue in erotica, I would recommend not spending as much time describing the acts being performed. Dialogue is a great way to communicate emotion and connection, but as far as describing what's actually being done, unless one character is instructing another, I find that it's more effective to let the actions speak for themselves in the description, and then use the dialogue to emphasize the emotion you're trying to convey rather than explain.


STRUCTURE

The story was structured well. I think it was well-paced, and you did a great job of keeping the reader interested in Sandy and concerned about her plight up until the point where Gary shows up. And once he does, you describe and move the erotic encounter along at a good pace. Nice work! *Smile*


TECHNICAL

There were quite a few typos and spelling errors in the story, including:

"The day after Valentine's Day and my husband, Gary[,] didn't get me a gift for the day [created] for lovers."

"We had shared [our deepest secrets with each other] and some were a bit naughty."

"I thought of the most unreasonable scenarios. Did he have someone else? Is he [tired] of me?"

"When I drove up, I didn't see Gary's car in the driveway or at his [parents'] house."

"Both of his [parents'] vehicles were there but Gary was not in [sight]."


I also noticed a tendency to switch between third person and first person perspective, which made the reading of the story a little jarring. Overall, I would suggest a thorough proofread/edit to catch all the little technical details. While each one on its own is not necessarily that big a deal, they do tend to add up and the overall effect can result in the story being viewed negatively.


OVERALL

Overall, I think you did a great job of responding to the prompt, but the story feels a little rough. There are quite a few issues, both technical and creative, that need to be ironed out in order for the story to really come together and present a compelling picture of these two people enjoying the day after Valentine's Day. I do think, however, that you're off to a really great start and that with a little rewriting/revision, you could have a really strong story here. *Smile*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group
"The Dark Society
"The Book of Jeff


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Review by Jeff
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

Hi deadstroke -

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following "Showering Acts of Joy Group review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.


I really enjoyed this introduction to Sul'hupkaar. I thought you did a particuarly good job with the detailed description of the world, the weapons, and the physical qualities of the subject of this character piece, and I loved the cliffhanger that you ended on. Sul'hupkaar seems like some kind of combination of Dark Elf and vampire, at least that's my guess, and I think you did an excellent job of setting up an intriguing character of questionable origins that will hopefully be revealed in future installments. *Smile*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group
"The Dark Society
"The Book of Jeff



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Review by Jeff
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)

Hi ♫~ Kenword~♫ -

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following "Showering Acts of Joy Group review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.


I thought this was a really lovely devotional on Psalms 1. I think it's important to realized that there will be challenges in one's life and that having the proper perspective is crucial to being able to cope with those challenges and the accompanying chaos and stress that come with them. I like the fact that you cited so many relevant bible passages and yet still kept the entire piece on message and thematically oriented. Nicely done! *Smile*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group
"The Dark Society
"The Book of Jeff



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Review by Jeff
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)

Hi Sparky -

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following "Showering Acts of Joy Group review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.


I really enjoyed the imagery and description in this poem. It was detailed, vivid, and you did a great job structuring the poem in a clean and organized way. I did find the individual lines to be a little long... it was difficult for me to keep the rhyme scheme in mind with so many syllables on each line... but despite that, I thought this was a very engaging poem that effectively told its story. Nice work! *Thumbsup*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group
"The Dark Society
"The Book of Jeff



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Review by Jeff
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)

Hi jazjaz -

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following "Showering Acts of Joy Group review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.


I think you've got the great start to a project here. There are lots of interesting elements to this, such as the nanites and the bank robbery and the action you've outlined in the piece. The entire chapter felt a little rough though, as if it were more of an outline. There's lots of dialogue but not very much detailed description, and the scenes and settings jump around quite a bit. If this is a rough draft, that's totally fine, but when you're finishing it up, you may want to consider rounding it out a little more and adding some content to flesh things out a little bit. (FYI, if it is a draft, you can select that rather than "chapter" as the static item type, which would let readers know that it's not in finished form yet). I think you're off to a good start though, and I'm definitely intrigued by your characters and story so far! *Smile*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group
"The Dark Society
"The Book of Jeff



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Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (4.5)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi Kitty Can Write -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

I really enjoyed the way you organized your letter. Your comparison of the things in your life that made you unhappy last year to the ways you want to change this year was well organized, presented effectively, and it was very engaging. I thought you did a great job setting multiple challenging goals while still making them all feel like they were attainable. *Thumbsup*


BELIEVABILITY

The presentation of your letter was excellent. Each goal was delivered with a bit of backstory, an objective, and a process for moving forward. Even more importantly, though, it was written in a compelling and passionate way that engages your reader and - more importantly - will hopefully reignite your passion for achieving these goals if you find yourself flagging later in the year and need to re-read this piece for inspiration and encouragement.


FEASIBILITY

Every single one of your goals seemed realistic and achievable. You set some really challenging goals for yourself, but also laid them out with a clear and steady plan that will allow you to stick to it in small increments and achieve the broader goal by the end of the year. Great work! *Smile*


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

Just one small typo I noticed: "Perhaps, though, you allow yourself only two [bottles] per paycheck, if you're running low."


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
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Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group
"The Dark Society
"The Book of Jeff


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Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (3.0)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi Prosperous Pen -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

I really respect the goals you've set for yourself in the new year. I'm glad you've reconciled your relationship with God and admire the commitment to putting Him first above all else, including yourself. From the perspective of your letter's content, however, I felt that the content about the coming year was a little lacking. The majority of the letter, up until the very last paragraph, was backstory about last year which - while certainly important to understand your goals for this year - was such a dominant feature of the letter that it almost felt like the letter's intent was to provide the background more than to provide specific goals going forward.


BELIEVABILITY

I would have loved to know more about your specific goals for next year. For example, what does starting your days and nights in prayer look like for you? How do you intend to praise and worship? Do you have any specific reading/studying goals for reading and meditating in His word? Without specific, measurable goals it can be difficult to really measure the success you've had over the course of the year and I can't help but think that some more specific definition to your goals would help keep you motivated and able to track your progress throughout the year.


FEASIBILITY

Without knowing specific details about your goal, it's difficult to determine the feasibility of what you're trying to accomplish. If, for example, your goal for speaking His word is to present it in a specific circumstance (like around those who aren't familiar with it), that could be a perfectly attainable goal. If your goal for speaking His word is to become a pastor or an active leader in your church, that might take a little more time depending on all the factors. With a little more detail about how you plan on achieving each of your goals, I think you'll be able to better share with your reader and help them become even more engaged in your efforts to spent 2014 building an even closer relationship with Him. *Smile*


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

No spelling or grammatical errors that jumped out at me. Nice work! *Thumbsup*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
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Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
219
219
Review of Dear Me 2014  
Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (4.0)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi blue jellybaby -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

I think you did a great job categorizing and presenting your goals for the new year. You've got a lot of things you want to accomplish, but I also think you're entirely capable of accomplishing them. *Smile*


BELIEVABILITY

The letter was engaging and entertaining; I think you definitely connected with the audience and - more importantly - hopefully created a piece of correspondence that motivates you so that it can be re-read over the course of the year as a source of inspiration to keep you going.


FEASIBILITY

While there are quite a few goals you've set for yourself in 2014, I think they're all entirely achievable and will just require dedication and commitment to accomplish them all... two things that I think you've got in spades. *Bigsmile*


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find. *Thumbsup*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
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Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group
"The Dark Society
"The Book of Jeff


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
220
220
Review of Dear Me:  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi Author Hallam -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

Congratulations on quitting smoking and drinking diet drinks! Those are no small accomplishments and I think it's great that they're creating a frame of reference for your 2014 goals.


BELIEVABILITY

I liked the way you divided your letter up into categories to deal with different goals for the new year. I think the conversational tone and the backstory help create a motivating letter that you'll be able to look at throughout the year and from which you can draw inspiration.


FEASIBILITY

Overall, your goals seemed realistic and feasible.


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find. *Thumbsup*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group
"The Dark Society
"The Book of Jeff


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
221
221
Review of Dear Me 2014  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (3.5)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi Elle - on hiatus -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

While I really liked your goals for the new year, I couldn't help but feel you were drawing more inspiration from and spending a little more time recounting your accomplishments over the past year rather than looking forward and outlining your goals for the new year. With so many accomplishments in 2013, it's easy to understand why *Wink*, but I was hoping for a little more focus on the year ahead rather than the year behind.


BELIEVABILITY

I would have liked to have seen a little more encouragement and explanation for your 2014 goals. You did a great job of highlighting what the goals are and even laying out a systematic approach to accomplishing them (e.g. working on one chapter a month for your Grand & Epic Adventures piece), but it would have been great to know a little more about why you're motivated to accomplish these particular things this year.


FEASIBILITY

Overall, your goals for next year are easy to understand and manageable. I think you could certainly accomplish them all by the time December rolls around! *Smile*


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

I stumbled a bit over the wording in the 2013 paragraph about your reviews. You said, "In 2013 we... reviewed 159 items. Our goal was 300 total reviews done, which we managed..." I'm assuming that meant you reviewed 159 unique items, some of which had multiple chapters or entries, but it took a couple of reads and a little thinking to put together how you accomplished your 300 reviews while only reviewing 159 items. *Wink* I think it would have been slightly clearer if you had said something like "reviewed 159 unique items" or "Our goal was 300 total reviews done, which we managed between all the unique items and their chapters..." or something along those lines just to make it absolutely clear how you fared with your reviewing last year.


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
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Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group
"The Dark Society
"The Book of Jeff


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
222
222
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi ♥HO HO HOOves♥ -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

I loved the fact that you included a good mix of goals including everything from overall improvement (not being afraid of change) all the way to the minor things that you want to change (forgiving DirecTV and controlling yourself while watching Downton Abbey *Laugh*).


BELIEVABILITY

I think the strongest element of this "Dear Me" letter is the humor with which you approach your resolutions.


FEASIBILITY

Each of your resolutions seemed feasible and able to be accomplished... at least to an outside objective observer. I'm not sure quite how attached you are to Anna on Downton Abbey or just how upset you are at DirecTV about The Weather Channel, but I've got faith that you can reach these goals. *Bigsmile*


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

No spelling or grammar errors that I could find.


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
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Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group
"The Dark Society
"The Book of Jeff


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
223
223
Review of Dear Me...  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (3.5)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi Ellie Brooks -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

I think you selected a great set of goals for 2014. I particularly like the one about returning the favor when someone sends you a review and making other people feel special and important. A lot of people tend to focus on the writing goals when they do their "Dear Me" entries and I love the fact that you expanded into other goals for yourself as well. *Smile*


BELIEVABILITY

I would have liked to have heard a little more about "biomythography" and what it involves; I think your readers might be a little more engaged with that particular goal if they were more familiar with the term.


FEASIBILITY

Overall, your goals seemed feasible and realistic. Nice job!


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find. *Thumbsup*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group
"The Dark Society
"The Book of Jeff


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
224
224
Review of Dear Me - 2014  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi 💙 Carly - Pumpkin Spiced -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

I enjoyed reading your goals in this "Dear Me" letter. I thought the organization of this piece (and the convenient color-coding!) made it really fun to follow along with and learn about what you're trying to accomplish in the coming year.


BELIEVABILITY

I think you included a good amount of detail and background about each of your goals so the audience had no trouble following along and understanding why you chose these particular goals. *Thumbsup*


FEASIBILITY

Overall, I think your goals are entirely possible given proper motivation... make sure you revisit this letter often and find inspiration in it! Best of luck with your efforts this year!


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

No spelling/grammatical errors jumped out at me. *Smile*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group
"The Dark Society
"The Book of Jeff


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
225
225
Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (3.5)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi A*30s*Faith -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

I like the fact that you framed the letter within a more descriptive setting; it was a creative way to add some additional flair to your contest entry. *Smile*


BELIEVABILITY

I did think that the goals themselves needed a little more explanation and detail. Once we get into the letter from Your Future Self, it feels a bit like an abbreviated list of things you want to accomplish, without a lot of context as to why these particular things are important to you or how you plan to achieve them specifically.


FEASIBILITY

That said, all the goals you presented certainly seem feasible and realistic. Good luck as you work on them throughout 2014!


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find.


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group
"The Dark Society
"The Book of Jeff


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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