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4,124 Public Reviews Given
4,253 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I believe in constructive criticism and honesty. I can adapt my review style to fit the kind of feedback an author is looking for (e.g., developmental suggestions, fine-tuning, proofreading, etc.), but will always try to be as encouraging and helpful as possible.
I'm good at...
Plotting, characterization, dialogue, structure/pacing, and professional considerations. I can also do serviceable technical editing/proofreading, but I'm much better with developmental/creative feedback.
Favorite Genres
I read almost everything. I particularly love genre fiction (mystery/thriller and science fiction/fantasy especially) and nonfiction of all kinds.
Public Reviews
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326
326
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (3.5)
Good day to you, mrsrevjohnson !

The "King's Landing updating "  is upon us and House Lannister (the best House) is honored to have the privilege of reviewing your item! Please keep in mind that these are only suggestions based on one person's reading of your work:


My wife is a special education teacher, so I definitely understand the struggles with No Child Left Behind and the challenge of educating kids in general! I think you did a great job of establishing the expectations of the law and how schools are currently trying to meet those objectives, but I was a little confused about whether you're merely trying to establish the facts about NCLB and then ask for readers' opinions, or if you're trying to promote a specific course of action or solution to the problem.

On the one hand, the first part of the article seems to be informative, but toward the end of the article you clearly define a point of view, mentioning that the existing system simply doesn't work. I think this article would be a little more effective if you either completely removed any subjective opinions, or more fully integrated them into and throughout the article. Additionally, in addition to asking a 'yes or no' question at the end (i.e., "Do you think this law sounds fair?"), I think it would be great to prompt the reader to actively participate as well, perhaps by encouraging them to offer suggestions for improvement if they don't think the law is fair.

Overall, I think this was a solid article and certainly a topic more people should be talking about!


Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your most excellent wordsmithy!

Fare thee well!

-- Jeff


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327
327
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Michael Baauer -

Sorry, I didn't have a chance to review this item before the review request you sent me expired; it's been a busy week and I'm just now getting the chance to sign on and get caught up with my emails. *Blush* I'm happy to send you a review, although poetry really isn't my area of expertise, so I can't speak with much of any authority on the subject. That said, I really enjoyed the poem and thought you did a good job creating an evocative, vivid poem. I could clearly see the imagery you were creating, and I think every stanza builds on the last to give the reader a fuller picture of the themes you're trying to convey.

Really nice work! And thank you for the opportunity to review it! *Smile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
328
328
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with Unofficial Erotica Newsletter ...  
Rated: E | (3.5)

Hi A*Monaing*Faith -

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following "Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"  review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.


I really liked the imagery and the flow of this poem. It read very smoothly and created a clear, vivid image in my mind as I read. The only slight issue I had was with the last line of the last stanza, which seemed a little clunky. I think it's because you had a really nice structure going up to that point where the first, second, and fourth lines of each stanza were all five or six syllables long, and then the third line was around eight syllables long, which contrasted nicely. But the third line of the last stanza is ten syllables long, which is just enough to break the rhythm set by the previous two stanzas.

That's really the only suggestion for improvement that I have, though. I'm not the world greatest expert on poetry, so all I can really go on is the imagery and emotion it evokes and how it sounds to my ear when I read it. I think the former of those two is very well done, and the latter, while it could use a little work, is still off to a great start. Well done!


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 

~~Image ID# 1965989's Content Rating Exceeds Item Content Rating~~


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
329
329
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)

Hi Odessa Molinari -

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.


Thanks for the email requesting feedback for this book synopsis. Generally speaking, I don't like to to give away everything in a synopsis (unless specifically requested) because I like to leave a little bit of mystery and surprise to entice someone to actually request the manuscript itself rather than getting all the info they need from a summary of it.

Overall, I think you've got a good synopsis here that gives a clear picture of the story, but I would also try to focus on playing up the suspense and the drama so that it really piques the reader's interest. For example, I would probably start by introducing the case your protagonist is working on, then add in later the fact that her taking the case is making her ex-husband's custody argument over the children that much more effective, so she has to balance the needs of the case with the needs of preventing her husband from taking her kids away.

Lastly, I would suggest a little more information about each character you introduce. Even if it's just a quick sentence of description, I would describe each named character so that we understand the significance of Mrs. Constance Kerswell, her husband John Kerswell, and Briggs. For example, "when one of her clients, [wealthy philanthropist] Mrs. Constance Kerswell..." or "... the victim's husband, [rock star] John Kerswell..." I think that little bit of additional detail will really make the characters stand out and give your reader a clear picture of them even in the synopsis.


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
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Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
330
330
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

Hi deadstroke -

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following "Showering Acts of Joy Group"  review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.


I really enjoyed this introduction to Sul'hupkaar. I thought you did a particuarly good job with the detailed description of the world, the weapons, and the physical qualities of the subject of this character piece, and I loved the cliffhanger that you ended on. Sul'hupkaar seems like some kind of combination of Dark Elf and vampire, at least that's my guess, and I think you did an excellent job of setting up an intriguing character of questionable origins that will hopefully be revealed in future installments. *Smile*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
331
331
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)

Hi ♫~ Kenword~♫ -

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following "Showering Acts of Joy Group"  review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.


I thought this was a really lovely devotional on Psalms 1. I think it's important to realized that there will be challenges in one's life and that having the proper perspective is crucial to being able to cope with those challenges and the accompanying chaos and stress that come with them. I like the fact that you cited so many relevant bible passages and yet still kept the entire piece on message and thematically oriented. Nicely done! *Smile*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
332
332
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)

Hi jazjaz -

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following "Showering Acts of Joy Group"  review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.


I think you've got the great start to a project here. There are lots of interesting elements to this, such as the nanites and the bank robbery and the action you've outlined in the piece. The entire chapter felt a little rough though, as if it were more of an outline. There's lots of dialogue but not very much detailed description, and the scenes and settings jump around quite a bit. If this is a rough draft, that's totally fine, but when you're finishing it up, you may want to consider rounding it out a little more and adding some content to flesh things out a little bit. (FYI, if it is a draft, you can select that rather than "chapter" as the static item type, which would let readers know that it's not in finished form yet). I think you're off to a good start though, and I'm definitely intrigued by your characters and story so far! *Smile*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 


Raindance SAJ Sig


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
333
333
Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (4.5)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi Kitty Can Write -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest" , and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

I really enjoyed the way you organized your letter. Your comparison of the things in your life that made you unhappy last year to the ways you want to change this year was well organized, presented effectively, and it was very engaging. I thought you did a great job setting multiple challenging goals while still making them all feel like they were attainable. *Thumbsup*


BELIEVABILITY

The presentation of your letter was excellent. Each goal was delivered with a bit of backstory, an objective, and a process for moving forward. Even more importantly, though, it was written in a compelling and passionate way that engages your reader and - more importantly - will hopefully reignite your passion for achieving these goals if you find yourself flagging later in the year and need to re-read this piece for inspiration and encouragement.


FEASIBILITY

Every single one of your goals seemed realistic and achievable. You set some really challenging goals for yourself, but also laid them out with a clear and steady plan that will allow you to stick to it in small increments and achieve the broader goal by the end of the year. Great work! *Smile*


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

Just one small typo I noticed: "Perhaps, though, you allow yourself only two [bottles] per paycheck, if you're running low."


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
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Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
334
334
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (3.0)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi Prosperous Pen -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest" , and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

I really respect the goals you've set for yourself in the new year. I'm glad you've reconciled your relationship with God and admire the commitment to putting Him first above all else, including yourself. From the perspective of your letter's content, however, I felt that the content about the coming year was a little lacking. The majority of the letter, up until the very last paragraph, was backstory about last year which - while certainly important to understand your goals for this year - was such a dominant feature of the letter that it almost felt like the letter's intent was to provide the background more than to provide specific goals going forward.


BELIEVABILITY

I would have loved to know more about your specific goals for next year. For example, what does starting your days and nights in prayer look like for you? How do you intend to praise and worship? Do you have any specific reading/studying goals for reading and meditating in His word? Without specific, measurable goals it can be difficult to really measure the success you've had over the course of the year and I can't help but think that some more specific definition to your goals would help keep you motivated and able to track your progress throughout the year.


FEASIBILITY

Without knowing specific details about your goal, it's difficult to determine the feasibility of what you're trying to accomplish. If, for example, your goal for speaking His word is to present it in a specific circumstance (like around those who aren't familiar with it), that could be a perfectly attainable goal. If your goal for speaking His word is to become a pastor or an active leader in your church, that might take a little more time depending on all the factors. With a little more detail about how you plan on achieving each of your goals, I think you'll be able to better share with your reader and help them become even more engaged in your efforts to spent 2014 building an even closer relationship with Him. *Smile*


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

No spelling or grammatical errors that jumped out at me. Nice work! *Thumbsup*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
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Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
335
335
Review of Dear Me:  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi Author Hallam -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest" , and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

Congratulations on quitting smoking and drinking diet drinks! Those are no small accomplishments and I think it's great that they're creating a frame of reference for your 2014 goals.


BELIEVABILITY

I liked the way you divided your letter up into categories to deal with different goals for the new year. I think the conversational tone and the backstory help create a motivating letter that you'll be able to look at throughout the year and from which you can draw inspiration.


FEASIBILITY

Overall, your goals seemed realistic and feasible.


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find. *Thumbsup*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
336
336
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi ♥Hooves♥ -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest" , and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

I loved the fact that you included a good mix of goals including everything from overall improvement (not being afraid of change) all the way to the minor things that you want to change (forgiving DirecTV and controlling yourself while watching Downton Abbey *Laugh*).


BELIEVABILITY

I think the strongest element of this "Dear Me" letter is the humor with which you approach your resolutions.


FEASIBILITY

Each of your resolutions seemed feasible and able to be accomplished... at least to an outside objective observer. I'm not sure quite how attached you are to Anna on Downton Abbey or just how upset you are at DirecTV about The Weather Channel, but I've got faith that you can reach these goals. *Bigsmile*


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

No spelling or grammar errors that I could find.


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
337
337
Review of Dear Me...  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (3.5)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi Ellie Brooks -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest" , and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

I think you selected a great set of goals for 2014. I particularly like the one about returning the favor when someone sends you a review and making other people feel special and important. A lot of people tend to focus on the writing goals when they do their "Dear Me" entries and I love the fact that you expanded into other goals for yourself as well. *Smile*


BELIEVABILITY

I would have liked to have heard a little more about "biomythography" and what it involves; I think your readers might be a little more engaged with that particular goal if they were more familiar with the term.


FEASIBILITY

Overall, your goals seemed feasible and realistic. Nice job!


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find. *Thumbsup*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
338
338
Review of Dear Me - 2014  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi 💙 Carly -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest" , and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

I enjoyed reading your goals in this "Dear Me" letter. I thought the organization of this piece (and the convenient color-coding!) made it really fun to follow along with and learn about what you're trying to accomplish in the coming year.


BELIEVABILITY

I think you included a good amount of detail and background about each of your goals so the audience had no trouble following along and understanding why you chose these particular goals. *Thumbsup*


FEASIBILITY

Overall, I think your goals are entirely possible given proper motivation... make sure you revisit this letter often and find inspiration in it! Best of luck with your efforts this year!


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

No spelling/grammatical errors jumped out at me. *Smile*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
339
339
Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (3.5)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi A*Monaing*Faith -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest" , and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

I like the fact that you framed the letter within a more descriptive setting; it was a creative way to add some additional flair to your contest entry. *Smile*


BELIEVABILITY

I did think that the goals themselves needed a little more explanation and detail. Once we get into the letter from Your Future Self, it feels a bit like an abbreviated list of things you want to accomplish, without a lot of context as to why these particular things are important to you or how you plan to achieve them specifically.


FEASIBILITY

That said, all the goals you presented certainly seem feasible and realistic. Good luck as you work on them throughout 2014!


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find.


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
340
340
Review of Dear Me  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (3.0)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi Anistasya -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest" , and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

I thought you did a really great job establishing the events that have led you to this point in your life, but I didn't see much in there about goals for 2014. I love the enthusiasm for this being the year that everything changes, but in what way are you hoping it will change? Do you want to write more, and if so, what kinds of writing? Do you want to write more frequently? If so, how often? I think this is the start of a great piece, but at the moment, unfortunately, it's missing the defined goals for this year.


BELIEVABILITY

There were no specific goals to comment upon.


FEASIBILITY

There were no specific goals to comment upon.


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find. *Thumbsup*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
341
341
Review of Dear Me...  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi Charlotte Grimm -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest" , and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

I like the fact that you've essentially created two goals for yourself this year: a macro-goal (finish the book) and a micro-goal (write or read something every day). I think the best way to prepare for success is to do exactly what you've done in this letter; give yourself a larger goal that you want to accomplish and then small, measurable goals that you can accomplish every day. *Thumbsup*


BELIEVABILITY

I think you did a great job keeping the letter interesting and compelling; in fact, I wish you had gone into more detail about your family's curse! I thought that was a really interesting detail that I would have loved to seen expanded a little.


FEASIBILITY

Overall, I think your goals are entirely reachable and feasible this year. Good luck to you!


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find. *Smile*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
342
342
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (3.5)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi dogpack:saving 4 premium: DWG -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest" , and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

I really enjoyed reading about what an important part of your life (and the upcoming year) God will be playing. It was an enjoyable read. *Smile*


BELIEVABILITY

I think you did a great job creating a context for your goals and explaining your interests, your beliefs, and the background information needed for the reader to understand why these goals are important to you.


FEASIBILITY

Overall, everything you wrote seemed feasible and possible this year with enough hard work and effort. Good luck with everything!


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

There were a few minor typos that I caught as I was reading:

"Share [God's] word with people whenever the opportunity presents [itself] or look for the door which God has opened for you."

"... and remind you of the love of God [whose] plan of redemption saved you by and through the gift of Jesus Christ your savior."


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
343
343
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi Brian K CanTry -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest" , and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

This is probably one of the most compelling entries I've read for the "Dear Me" contest this month. Your writing was eloquent and engaging; your goals were clearly laid out and interspersing the quotes and personal information with your goals made them really easy to follow along with and support.


BELIEVABILITY

Overall, you did a great job creating larger overall goals that you were able to break down into smaller components. I think that's an essential element of success and you did a great job with that aspect of it.


FEASIBILITY

Everything seemed attainable and realistic. You write with such authority and confidence, I'm pretty sure I'd find it realistic if you said you were going to travel to the moon or win the lottery! *Laugh*


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

No technical errors that I could find.


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
344
344
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (3.5)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi Agape Novels -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest" , and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

Overall, I thought you did a great job outlining your goals for the new year, while continuing to point to the fact that your primary goal - above all others - is to have a better relationship with God. I think that's an admirable goal to set for yourself and one that - unlike finishing a book or reviewing a specific number of items a year - will be an ongoing and lifelong objective rather than something you can check off a list on December 31st. Nice job! *Smile*


BELIEVABILITY

The fact that you continually point your letter back toward God makes it clear that He's where you find your inspiration and your passion. Keep that in mind this year and look back on this letter whenever you start to feel frustrated or stuck!


FEASIBILITY

I think all of the material, defined goals you've set for yourself in this letter are feasible. Best of luck with them this year!


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find. *Thumbsup*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
345
345
Review of Dear Me - 2014  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi JACE - House Targaryen -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest" , and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

I really liked the fact that your letter was more of a conversation than a formal letter. I think choosing to write your "Dear Me" entry in this fashion made it stand out from all the other entries that were more traditionally-written correspondence. Nice job! *Smile*


BELIEVABILITY

I think the way you've presented this letter is realistic and encouraging. I can definitely see you looking back on it throughout the year when you need some additional motivation or even just to check in and see how your progress is going.


FEASIBILITY

Knowing how busy you are with everything else in your life, I think you've set some pretty high goals for yourself this year. But I also happen to know that you're dedicated, hard working, and honor your commitments, so I don't think you're going to have any problem putting a check mark next to each of these goals in December 2014. *Smile*


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

None that I could find. *Check2*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
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Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
346
346
Review of Dear Me  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi drifter -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest" , and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

I think you did a great job of balancing your goals for 2014 with your various needs (spiritual, physical, mental, etc.). You provided a lot of great background so the reader gets some insight as to why these particular goals are important for you at this point in your life. *Thumbsup*


BELIEVABILITY

Your writing has an honesty and an openness to it that I think is refreshing and will, hopefully, be a source of inspiration and motivation to you should you re-read this letter during the more trying times in the year ahead. *Smile*


FEASIBILITY

Overall, I think all of your goals are entirely feasible and realistic. Good luck with them!


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

Just a couple minor technical errors:

"Buddy was out in the cold looking for a savior when my wife picked [him?] out of the middle of a busy intersection."

"As temperature[s] spiral down into negative digits..."


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
347
347
Review of Dear Me  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)

*Shield1* Judge's Review *Shield1*


Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating -

I had a chance to read your item today as a judge for the "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest" , and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.

CREATIVITY

I liked the list of goals you created for yourself, particularly the fact that they're varied and tackle different aspects of your life and experiences here on Writing.com. I was, however, hoping for a little more detail about your goals, especially the United in Our Grief group you want to create. Some extra detail about the group (e.g. what it's being created for, what you hope to accomplish with it, etc.) would balance out with the specific logistical goals and give the reader a clearer idea about why it's important that you accomplish that particular task this year.


BELIEVABILITY

I thought you did a good job creating sincere goals for yourself, and organizing them into an easy-to-follow arrangement that allowed you to give an overview of all of them, then talk a little more specifically about each of them. Nice work! *Thumbsup*


FEASIBILITY

No problems here; the goals you created were easy to understand and certainly capable of being accomplished, although I think 2,000 words per day without fail is one heck of an undertaking! *Bigsmile*


SPELLING/GRAMMAR

Only one typo that I noticed: "In January, I will study how to sit [set] up the group and write the Mission Statement by January 31, 2014."


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
348
348
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)

Hi Medz -

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.


This was a fun, humorous article. I love the idea of a relationship warranty and think it's a very insightful observation to compare the "honeymoon period" of a relationship with the warranty of a product. Sometimes they last far past the warranty expiration date and, well, sometimes you're stuck with something that's run down or broken just after the point at which you can't really do anything about it. *Wink*

I do have a couple of suggestions. I think the iPad comment was a bit random because it didn't come back or pay off later in the article. It seemed like you were trying to also add a commentary about how we're easily attracted by the newest, latest, and greatest even though what we have is perfectly fine... but that thought didn't really find its way into the rest of the piece and as a result left that single paragraph feeling a little out of place. Also, I think you lost a bit of the narrative thread where relationships are like warranties when the article got to the part about no one liking a happy couple and that you can spend your time wandering from one night stand to one night stand because there isn't really a warranty-related analogue to compare it to.

Other than that, though, I thought this was a fun and entertaining article and it would be my pleasure to feature it in the next (January 8, 2014) issue of the official Comedy Newsletter! *Smile*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
349
349
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)

Hi Rare222 -

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.


This was an amusing list of insights and questions about the nature of Santa Claus. Overall, I thought it was entertaining, but was a little thrown by some of the assumptions made in a few of the items, such as that the elves are made to work 364 days a year, or that Santa wears the same wardrobe year-round. For me, those kind of assumptions undercut the humor in the piece because they immediately make a reader think, "That might not be true at all!" I think you've got a lot of great points on your list and think that taking out the more presumptive ones would make it an even stronger (and funnier) piece of writing.

All that said, it was a great read and it would be my pleasure to feature this item in the next issue (January 8, 2014) of the official Comedy Newsletter! *Smile*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
350
350
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hi Dean -

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that these comments are only the opinion of one person.


I thought this was a great short poem, and a very amusing take on the Lord's Prayer as it would surely apply to social media. *Wink* Overall, I don't really have any suggestions for improvement, but it would be my pleasure to feature this review in the next (January 8, 2014) issue of the official Comedy Newsletter!


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material; keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


Jeff
Logo for Senior Moderators - small

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" 
"The Dark Society" 
"Blogocentric Formulations" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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