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1,165 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
I attempt a well-rounded review where I look at the item from a writer's and reader's perspective. I'll tell you what I liked and what I think could be strengthened. I like to think I'm a courteous and helpful reviewer.
I'm good at...
attention to detail. If there's a typo, I'll find it!
Favorite Genres
Sci-Fi, Horror, Mystery, Thriller, Drama, Satire, and more
Least Favorite Genres
Romance, Religion, Sports
Favorite Item Types
Short Stories, Poetry, Essays
Least Favorite Item Types
Novels (I just don't have that much time)
I will not review...
There is very little I won't review. Try me! *Smile*
Public Reviews
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51
51
Review of The Swaggy  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Cherry Mac

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


What an interesting folk tale! I really felt like I was immersed in another culture while reading this! You've done very well to set the scene here and invite the reader into the life of this one character. Well done!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



A few day's trek through the Australian bush
I believe it should be *Right* A few days' trek

What time will you be leaving Pros?"
I believe a comma is needed after "leaving"

strapped into place by too strong belts.was the sleeping bag his mother had stitched for him.
A typo probably, the period between "belts" and "was" isn't needed.

After three hours he reached Manildra and shortly afterwards branched off into the bush to hike along the creek, He was doing well, making good progress, walking steadily at a comfortable pace.
A run-on sentence. I suggest turning the comma after "creek" into a period and starting a new sentence with "He."

He like it when Ben called him Pros.
like *Right* liked

When he threw a potato into the fire he knew that it would cook in it's jacket
it's *Right* its



My Rating


4.0 - I think the story could use some polishing, but it is an enjoyable read! Well done!


Sincerely,
spidey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
52
52
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Cherokee Rose

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


This story almost read like a tall tale itself! *Laugh*

This definitely kept me guessing until the end! I enjoyed the fact that I couldn't tell how it might end! Well done!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



It feels like there is a lot of dialogue and not much description in the story. I suppose that fits well with the "tall tale" theme, but it kind of took me out of the story a little bit. The conversation between the brothers got a bit repetitive with the constant argument about Bigfoot. I just didn't feel a brotherly connection between the two boys and I didn't feel a big emotional attachment to the story.


My Rating


4.0 - A good story that kept me guessing! Thanks for sharing this!


Sincerely,
spidey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
53
53
Review of The Visitors  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Quick-Quill

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


What an interesting and inspiring story! I loved that this folklore tale had a moral to it!

I have to say that I was very intrigued by this story, and couldn't wait to see how it turned out! You do very well to engage the reader and create an interesting and engaging story! Good job!


Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



The limousine made plowed a path in the deep snow
This sounded awkward to me. Perhaps if either "made" or "plowed" was removed, it would sound clearer.

Sam felt the tires grab the road the car moved safely to the end of the ramp.
Feels like a run-on sentence, with two independent clauses combined without a conjunction. Perhaps:

Sam felt the tires grab the road, and the car moved safely to the end of the ramp.

or

Sam felt the tires grab the road as the car moved safely to the end of the ramp.

Then you’re prayer was answered.
you're should be *Right* your

I guess I was more hungry then I thought.
then *Right* than



My Rating


4.0 - Good story! In my eyes, it could use a little polishing, but I enjoyed reading this! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
54
54
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Gaby

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


What a neat story! I was totally engrossed throughout and couldn't wait to see how it turned out!

I had to read the story several times, because on the first read, I found myself wanting to rush through it to see how it ended! I think you did very well in grabbing the reader's attention and creating a gripping story! Well done!


Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



We'll go to my house and I'll make us some coffee while she get's your scarf.
"get's" doesn't need an apostrophe.



Honestly, I thought there would be more to the ending. I don't know why, but I had a foreboding feeling, like something spooky was going to happen, but it ended up much differently than I thought it would. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but I just wanted to give you one reader's reaction. *Smile*

My Rating


4.0 - Good story! I enjoyed reading this!


Sincerely,
spidey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
55
55
Review of Bride's Choice  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi jaya

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


This story definitely had a "folklore" or fairytale/legend feel to it. I felt like it gave me a glimpse into another culture. Great job!

I really liked the tone of the story. I felt it tied into the legend aspect quite well.

I particularly enjoyed the ending! *Smile*



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


I did see some of what people would call "telling instead of showing." For instance:
She tried hard not to weep at the turn of events.
That tells the reader she is trying not to weep, though it doesn't show it. Now, the way you wrote it is certainly not wrong! It's a choice of style. It's just that showing might bring the reader into the story a bit more. It's totally up to you, the writer. *Smile*



My Rating


4.0 - Very nice folktale! I enjoyed this!


Sincerely,
spidey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
56
56
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Fynanew

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


Great story! This had such a distinct feel to it, it felt like such a real group of people, like a real future that could happen, and I think your excellent use of dialect worked so well in creating this successful story! Great job! *Smile*

I also loved the tie-ins to our culture and history. Well done!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



So they be all cautious-like til they be know they be safe.
For some reason, I felt that it should read "til they be knowing they be safe," but the ultimate choice is yours.

In the same paragraph:
The be happy to hear
I think "The" should be they


If I were pressed to come up with any other suggestions, I'd say that this felt more like a narrative than a short story (though a narrative does fit nicely with the "Folktale" aspect of the story).


My Rating


4.5 - Excellent piece! I really enjoyed reading this!


Sincerely,
spidey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
57
57
Review of Fingerprints 2  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Moarzjasac !

This is my review for "Fingerprints 2 [E]. Thanks for emailing it to me! *Smile*

Overall Thoughts:


*Bullet* I've been having some rough days lately, missing people who aren't physically in my life anymore, and this beautiful poem helped cheer my mood. Thanks for sharing it! *Smile*

*Bullet* I loved the whole fingerprint theme! And I love how you include its inspiration in the intro! I think most people can relate to this poem.

*Bullet* Great form! I tend to find rhymes a little distracting, and I think you've made a great choice here.

Grammar/Spelling
(These are suggestions with regard to my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)


I found no errors.

Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*


*Bullet* The only suggestion I could give is to add more! *Smile*



*Star*My Rating*Star*


4.5 - Such a nice poem! Thanks! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey
 
Resolve to Review Contest  [E]
Let's see your best in-depth review! Weekly Review Contest
by spidey


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
58
58
Review of Starbucks  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Maryann !


This is my review of "Starbucks [E].


Overall Thoughts:


*Bullet* I love acrostics & I love Starbucks! I think it's really cool that you wrote this about your first visit to the first Starbucks! I think you captured the atmosphere perfectly! Very descriptive! I love how you involved the senses with the smells and tastes. It made me feel as if I were there with you!

*Bullet* I like that you include the workers, travelers, etc. I think it really makes the poem accessible to many types of readers. It appeals to those who are regular patrons as well as those who may have never visited a Starbucks store and to all types of coffee drinkers (and non-coffee drinkers, too!). Well done!

*Bullet* Great use of font color, too! Love the photo! Just helps set the scene!


Grammar/Spelling
(These are suggestions with regard to my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)


I found no errors! Great!


Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*


*Bullet*One thing I find limiting about the acrostic form is that it can end up reading like a list of statements, rather than a poem. I think that's mostly the structure, though, as it tends to force the writer to adhere to it. For me, it could have felt more flowing. As it is, it feels a little choppy to me, but that's just one reader's interpretation.




*Star*My Rating*Star*


4.5 - I really enjoyed this! Thanks for sharing it!!


Sincerely,
spidey
 
Resolve to Review Contest  [E]
Let's see your best in-depth review! Weekly Review Contest
by spidey


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
59
59
Review of Starbucks  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Maryann !

This is my review for "Starbucks [E].


Overall Thoughts:


*Bullet* I love acrostics & I love Starbucks! I think it's really cool that you wrote this about your first visit to a Starbucks, and where better than Seattle! I think you captured the atmosphere perfectly! Very descriptive! I love how you involved the senses with the smells and tastes. It made me feel as if I were there with you!

*Bullet* I like that you include the workers, travelers, etc. I think it really makes the poem accessible to many types of readers. Though this is told from the point of view of someone's first visit, it appeals to all types of coffee drinkers (and non-coffee drinkers, too!). Well done!

*Bullet* Great use of font color, too! *Wink*Love the photo! Just helps set the scene!

Grammar/Spelling
(These are suggestions with regard to my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)


I found no errors! Great!


Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*


*Bullet* One thing I find limiting about the acrostic form is that it can end up reading like a list of statements, rather than a poem. I think that's mostly the structure, though, as it tends to force the writer to adhere to it. For me, it could have felt more flowing. As it is, it feels a little choppy to me, but that's just one reader's interpretation.



*Star*My Rating*Star*


4.5 - I really enjoyed this! Thanks for sharing it!! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey
 
Resolve to Review Contest  [E]
Let's see your best in-depth review! Weekly Review Contest
by spidey


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
60
60
Review of The Silver Fox  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Dennis Cardiff !

This is my review for "The Silver Fox [13+]. I found this item using the new Random Review tool! *Smile*


Overall Thoughts:


*Bullet* Wow, this really packs a punch! I'm honestly astonished at how well this poem affects the reader in just a few stanzas. It definitely made me feel something. My reaction was mainly remorse. Even though I wasn't there in the situation, I felt as if I could be, and I wondered how often I was near someone who needed help and was unaware. This poem made me want to be a better person, to look out for those around me.

*Bullet* Love the form! If this were a more "traditional" form with a rhyme scheme, there's no way the tone would come across so well! Even the indented lines added to the disjointed feeling of the poem, in my opinion. It's a jarring theme, one in which I think you intended the reader to examine themselves and their feelings toward others. I think you've done quite well to do that. Great job!

*Bullet* The repetition is great. Not only does it reinforce your theme/message, it also reflects the feel of the poem, as I can imagine an inebriated bar patron repeating themselves. Good choice!

*Bullet* I also like the use of a gray/silver font here. It fits perfectly! And thank you for the explanation at the end of the poem. That enhanced the poem for me and made me understand your intentions all the more.

Grammar/Spelling
(These are suggestions with regard to my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)


I saw no errors here. *Smile*


Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*


*Bullet* I try really hard to come up with at least one suggestion for everything I review, but it's really tough with this one. I find myself wanting more, but I fear that adding more to this poem would detract from its power and effectiveness. Perhaps a sequel? I'd like to think that "The Silver Fox" had a happy ending... even if that wasn't the case, I think it could help to have some closure here, perhaps your guess as to what happened next? Just a thought. *Smile*


*Star*My Rating*Star*


5.0 - One of the best I've read in some time! Absolutely deserves its awardicon! *Smile*

Thanks for sharing, and keep on writing! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Invalid Item.



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61
61
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Shaara !

This is my review for "Promises Not Desired [E]. I found this item through the new Random Review tool! *Delight*


Overall Thoughts:


*Bullet* I found your writing to be succinct and to the point, which made it a joy to read! I understand this was written with a word count in mind, so the writing style helped fit the prompt, but it also suited the story very well. Nicely done!

*Bullet* Great job at creating the setting with just a few lines. I felt like I could really see the king, the wizard and the tent where they conversed, even though few words are given to describe them.

*Bullet* I really found your writing here to be quite superb. I loved the tone with which each character speaks, individual and unique, and the way the narrator/Wizard weaves his tale. This was a joy to read! *Smile*

I particularly loved these lines:

I saw it all in his eyes. His plans for me, for my daughter. A blizzard descended over my mind, swirled me with confusion. I hunted for a safe path out, but saw only storms ahead.

*Bullet* I also like how the story feels like an exact moment in time. There is a shift in tense from past to present near the end and at first, I thought it might be an error, but I realized it was intentional, that the main character was telling the story of the conversation as he was on his way to meet his family. I thought that was a great choice!


Grammar/Spelling
(These are suggestions with regard to my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)


(This could just be a style/judgment call)
Get to the point Wizard.

I personally love using commas and would have inserted one after "point," but again, I think it could just be a writer's judgment call. *Smile*



Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*


*Bullet* I really try to come up with at least one suggestion when I review, but it's tough with this one! The obvious suggestion would be that I want to know the rest of the story! I'd love to get to know the main character's wife and his daughter!

*Bullet* I think perhaps if we were able to see the king's interactions with someone else (a negative interaction, to be specific) there could be more trepidation felt toward the main character, though that would have been difficult to fit in with the word limit.



*Star*My Rating*Star*


5.0 - A truly excellent piece of writing! So glad I found this! *Delight*


Sincerely,
spidey

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Invalid Item.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
62
62
Review of Awardicons Survey  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (5.0)
Great survey! I'd be interested in the results or some thoughts on the results once you get a good amount of replies! I've always thought it strange to be able to "buy" Awardicons in raffles/auctions (unless you buy them to be given to a deserving item of your choice).

Best of luck with the survey! I hope you get lots of useful responses! *Smile*

~ spidey
63
63
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi Julia Quinn !

This is my review for "Can't Forget : Chapter One [13+]. Thanks for the review! I wanted to show my thanks by reviewing something of yours! *Smile*


Overall Thoughts:


*Bullet* I think almost anyone can relate to this! It brought back memories of what it was like to be a young adult looking for love and happiness. *Smile*

*Bullet* I like how the story starts, where it talks about their last kiss, hug, etc. It really made me want to know what happened between them! I really got the sense that the two people belonged together and I wondered how they came to be apart.



Grammar/Spelling
(These are suggestions with regard to my understanding of grammar/spelling rules. If I'm mistaken or missing a regional difference in usage, I apologize in advance.)


You seem to not use an apostrophe at all in this (cant instead of can't, Im instead of I'm, etc.). It's a little distracting for a reader.

I met him at a kmart
I believe "kmart" should be capitalized *Right* Kmart


7:oo o clock,
You don't need the "oo" if you have o'clock after 7.


There are quite a bit of errors in your story, just typos mostly. I had a teacher tell me that our eyes can skip over typos easily when we read on a computer screen. He suggested printing out writing and reading it from the page, and I've found that helps me. Just a suggestion. *Smile*



Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*


*Bullet* Your writing is very direct, which can be nice, but it can also create a distance between the story and the writer. Personally, I think the writing here could use a little more description to make the reader really visualize the action. For instance:

I walked into the store, and I was crying.

Instead, you could say something like, "Tears were falling from my eyes as I entered the store," or something like that. It's your story, you can write it however you want! I've found in my reading that when a story is descriptive and visual, it really pulls me in.

*Bullet* Usually when you start dialogue, it should start a new paragraph. When you have back and forth dialogue within a paragraph, it can be hard for a reader to follow.

*Bullet* In your email you said you're a new member (Welcome to the site!! If you have any questions, feel free to ask!) and that you want to become an author. I think one of the best pieces of advice I've heard from published authors is to read a lot. Read the types of writing you're interested in writing to get tips on how you can improve your own work. I think we all have room to grow when it comes to honing our craft (even published writers!), and one of the best ways to do that is to study other writing and to keep practicing ourselves! If we do that, we'll all continue to get better!


*Star*My Rating*Star*


3.5 - This is a good solid start! I think you have a good start to pull the reader in and get them interested in your book. Just keep on practicing, reading and writing! You'll have a gem of a piece in no time! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Invalid Item.
64
64
Review of Venus Transit  
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi ridinghhood--p. boutilier

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


Wow, this poem really struck me. Usually if I finish a poem and think, "Huh?" it's a bad sign. With this one, though, it just made me like it more! I like that I don't get exactly what's going on here. It feels like I'm getting a glimpse into someone else's world. It makes perfect sense to them, and it might be a bit mysterious to me, but it just feels right.

I love the tone of this poem. I like how you make it feel really personal by adding names and places. I like that you took a fairly generic photo and managed to make it a very specific moment. Nicely done!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


My only suggestion would be to make this a bit longer. I enjoyed it so much that I wanted more! *Smile*



My Rating


5.0 - I loved this!


Sincerely,
spidey

65
65
Review of The Menace  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Plume

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


Great word choices! I feel like you really paint a scene with depth in this one stanza. You do well to capture a moment here. Very well done!

I enjoyed the form, too. I think it fit the subject matter very well.



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


With just five lines, I couldn't help wanting more! You've done so much with just five lines that I wanted to see more of the story. I felt like I just got a glimpse into another world, and I couldn't help wanting more! *Smile*



My Rating


4.0 - Nice poem! I enjoyed this!


Sincerely,
spidey

66
66
Review of Friends  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Happy New Year!

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


How delightful! I love how you've captured the beauty and sorrow of the image prompt and then end it in such a happy ending! I really felt emotionally connected to this poem!

In general, I tend to find deliberate rhyming to be a little distracting, but in your poem it felt natural and helped the flow of the poem. Nicely done!

Great title! It fit perfectly!


Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


It's really hard to come up with a suggestion for this poem. If I was pressed to say something, I'd say that it could perhaps have a little more depth or something to make it feel more unique or personal, just something small to make it have just a little more. Just my thoughts. *Smile*



My Rating


4.5 - Great poem! I really enjoyed this! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey

67
67
Review of Canine Memories  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Prosperous Snow Creative

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


Vivid & touching! Great imagery here! You describe the scene in such a beautiful way that I could see it in my mind while reading. Nice job!

I like the progression through the poem as it tells a story. Nicely done!

I also enjoyed the last stanza. It felt like a perfect ending to the poem!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



as the played in the waves.
I believe "the" should be *Right* they


My Rating


4.5 - Excellent poem! I really enjoyed this! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey
68
68
Review of ODE TO WDC  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Oldwarrior

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!

Overall Thoughts


I love the message of the poem! I've never tried other writing sites, but I can imagine that WDC is definitely the best out of them! What a great ode to our fave site!

I liked the delightful tone here, which works well with the rhyme scheme. It creates an almost whimsical feel that makes it a nice, easy read. Well done!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



I’ve been away, too distant shores, seeking acclimation.
Upon first reading, I thought "too" should be changed to "to" but then I realized it makes sense both ways. Still, that could create some confusion for readers.

A small thing - I get that the poem relates to the prompt image due to the references to the beach and sands, but the focus of the image is a dog, and I just didn't see the prompt as vividly in your poem as I thought I should. Just my thoughts. *Smile*





My Rating


4.0 - Great poem! I enjoyed this! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey
69
69
Review of Missing My Friend  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Yellow Rose

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


Delightful! I love the almost whimsical tone of the poem which ends on a sad but sort of upbeat note.

Your rhyme scheme was consistent throughout the poem, which made it very enjoyable to read. It has a good rhythm which makes the poem flow well.



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


There was part of me that wanted to know more behind the story! I felt like this just skimmed the surface of the beings within it, and I couldn't help wanting to know more!

This is probably just me, but I found the bigger font and color a tad harsh on the eyes. Again, probably just me. *Smile*


My Rating


4.0 - Lovely poem! I enjoyed this. *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey

70
70
Review of No Longer  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi NickiD89

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


I loved the repetition in this poem! For me, it really connected to the image of the ocean, as the waves rush in and out endlessly. Well done!

I like how you captured the sadness in the image. When I first saw it, I thought it looked a bit somber, and I could feel that in your poem, too.

I thought you captured a really great tone here, one of near desperation and hopelessness.


Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


I try really hard to come up with at least one suggestion for everything I review. After reading your poem several times, the only suggestion I could come up with refers to this line:
Hello! Hollow sound

The exclamation point after "Hello" seemed like it doesn't quite fit in with the somber tone of the poem. For me, I sensed a hopelessness in the poem and the "Hello!" almost seemed like a cry for help that I don't think the speaker was capable of feeling. Just one reader's thoughts. *Smile*



My Rating


4.5 - Excellent poem! I enjoyed reading this. *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey
71
71
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Calli Seren

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


Great rhyme scheme. Truth be told, I often find rhyming to be distracting, but I think you've done quite well with it here. It's consistent throughout the poem and creates a nice rhythm. Well done!

I think you've captured the image prompt quite well! You took a static image and created an entire world out of it. I also liked the mythological references, which I think added a depth to the poem that was very enjoyable.



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



I personally got a little lost within all the references and allusions, though that could just be this one reader's reaction. I don't mind not knowing exactly what's going on upon a first reading, but I did find my mind drifting a tad while reading. Again, maybe that's just me. *Blush*



My Rating


4.5 - Beautiful poem! I really enjoyed this!


Sincerely,
spidey

72
72
Review of Shadow Walks  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Fynanew

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


What a beautiful & touching poem! I love how this tells a story around the photo prompt. I particularly enjoyed the poem upon the second read. Very well done!

Such beautiful imagery! It really paints a picture in the reader's mind that I think would be very clear even without the photo prompt!

Great use of form & font color. Fits the poem perfectly!


Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


I try really hard to come up with at least one suggestion when I review and this was my only thought on improvement with your poem:

"He would run away
and then back, much
like the waves, pulled and pushed"

For me, the words "much like the waves" isn't quite needed. I think the reader would get that connection without the phrase. Or perhaps if it was worded something like, "mirroring the waves" or something like that, it would seem a little less obvious. Honestly, I don't think this is much of an issue at all, and it really doesn't detract from the poem. Just tried to come up with something to suggest. *Smile*



My Rating


5.0 - Wonderful poem! I really enjoyed this! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey
73
73
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Thankful Sonali HAPPY 20 CRAMP

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!


Overall Thoughts


Very beautiful imagery and quite touching! I love how this poem illustrates a harmony and connection between all life.

There is a theme here of permanence contrasted with change that I think fits the image prompt very well! Nicely done!

I also liked the use of the color font. It fit very well!


Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


My only suggestion has to do with capitalization in the poem. It just seemed a tad inconsistent to me, where some words (like "Paw" in the first stanza and "Meets" in the second) had capitals when they didn't start a new phrase, but others weren't capitalized. I just couldn't find a pattern or reason some words were capitalized. Just a personal preference, I guess, but it distracted me slightly from the very beautiful poem.



My Rating


4.5 - Beautiful! I really enjoyed this!


Sincerely,
spidey

74
74
Review of New View  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Kotaro

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


A fun poem! I loved the inclusion of science! I have an amateur interest in physics, so I really appreciated your allusions here. *Smile*

There is a nice contrast here between the theme of infinity (the photo never being lost) and the theme of change. I really enjoyed that!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



I personally found the rhyme scheme to be a little distracting, but that's just a personal preference, I think. It didn't distract from the theme of the poem, which I enjoyed, but for me, it disrupted the natural flow of the words just a little bit. Just one reader's thoughts. *Smile*



My Rating


4.0 - Very nice poem! I enjoyed reading this! *Smile*


Sincerely,
spidey

75
75
Review of the other side  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Rhyssa !

Overall Thoughts:

I thought this was hilarious! I laughed out loud several times while reading this short story. *Laugh*

I think a lot of it just caught me by surprise. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I really enjoyed reading this twisted fairy tale!



Title/Rating/Genres:

Your titles, ratings & genres fit the story well. Good choices!



Suggestions
These are just suggestions. Feel free to use them or not. *Smile*

So, back track to about a week ago.
I believe "back track" should be one word *Right* backtrack

*Bullet* My only other suggestion would be to possibly make a series of these. I think I'll check out your portfolio to see your other work. This has definitely intrigued me, and I love your writing style here!


*Star*My Rating*Star*

4.5 - A devilishly delightful fairy tale! I am guest-Editing a Comedy Newsletter in a few weeks, and I think I'll add this as one of my "Picks" so others will enjoy it, too! Good luck in the contest!

Thank you for entering the contest in my newsletter, "Contests & Activities Newsletter (April 18, 2012)! I've attached your 1,000 gift point prize for entering, and thanks for sharing this story! I truly enjoyed reading it! *Bigsmile*

Good luck and keep on writing!


Sincerely,
spidey
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